Photo by Wedding Photographer Blane Marable

Writing your own wedding vows can be a lofty undertaking in the midst of wedding planning — especially if writing does not come naturally to you or your partner. However, civil or religious vows do not always speak to the nature of the relationship between you and your person. Fortunately, you don’t have to be a natural pen wielder in order to personalize your vow of commitment. With the right guidelines, any couple can develop meaningful sentiments that will enhance the sacredness of their vows to one another. Here are six tips for writing memorable wedding vows.

Communicate with All Other Parties

In most cases, writing your vows is a first for both you and your fiancé — figure it out together! Establishing your expectations as a united front ensures that you each enter this endeavor knowing the other one is on the same page about details such as length, purpose and privacy. It’s important to make sure you coordinate with your officiant as well so that you are all comfortable with the proceedings of the ceremony. 

Photo by Wedding Photographer Molly Weir

Get An Early Start

There are many things in life that you can get away with doing at the last minute — your wedding vows should not be one of them. It’s always better to start early, even if you just put down a rough draft, and revise later than it is to start from scratch right before your wedding day. It’s beneficial to get the creative juices flowing at the beginning of your engagement period and continue to build on material when you have time. 

Reference Past Dates and Keepsakes

First and foremost, your vows are for your partner. It’s okay to reference a moment shared between the two of you without providing every detail of context for your friends and family. Inspiration can be found in recollecting first date jitters, cards exchanged between the two of you, or memborium from special moments in time throughout your relationship. Slipping in an inside joke or two as you make life promises to your bride or groom eases the tension while preserving the intimacy of the moment.

Photo by Wedding Photographer Blane Marable

Incorporate Romantic Literature

From heartfelt scriptures to the greatest love letters of all time, there is an endless vault of endearing quotes to capture what you can’t put into your own words about how you feel towards your love. Make sure you give credit where credit is due! You don’t want to mistakenly trick your loved ones into thinking someone else’s words are yours during a time of sincerity. 

Remember The Purpose

While inside jokes, poetry, and expressing what you love about your person are all beautiful additions to wedding vows, the purpose is ultimately to make a public vow of lifelong devotion to your partner. Keeping this in mind, it’s good to incorporate pledge statements starting with phrases such as “I will”, “I promise to”, “I vow to”, or “I will never,” to stay on track. Much like the signature “in sickness and in health,” it is also fitting to include phrases such as “through peaks and valleys”, “during the ups and downs”, “in victories and trials”, or “always and forever,” to convey your unwavering commitment to your future spouse no matter life’s circumstances.

Photo by Photographer Savannah Sturkie

Be Yourself

If you’re reading straight from a speech template you found online, it will be obvious to most. Use examples and resources as inspiration to guide what you have to say rather than sampling pieces word for word. Be authentic and vulnerable; allow your witnesses to see the depth of what you feel towards the one you are making your vows to.


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