Mary L. Sherwood, an avid admirer of Jane Austen, is the author of the Pride and Prejudice Sequel Trilogy, A Marriage Worth the Earning. Sherwood grew up in Arkansas and received her Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of Central Arkansas. Sherwood and her husband reside on their family, and their first year of marriage begins as idyllic as most newlyweds could hope. However, their tranquility soon changes when Darcy and Elizabeth’s first year of marriage continues in Volume II.
The sequel trilogy to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice follows the lives of beloved characters throughout the years, beginning with volume one. Darcy and Elizabeth have confronted and withstood numerous hardships during their first two years as husband and wife. The sequel trilogy to A Marriage Worth the Earning follows the lives of Austen’s beloved characters throughout the years, beginning with volume one.
In the sequel trilogy, Darcy and Elizabeth’s first year of marriage continues, as they struggle with more than their fair share of difficulties. The novel offers a compelling look at the misunderstanding, resentment, and frustration that marriage imposes on two compassionate, yet willful individuals, while also depicting the vulnerability, laughter, and devotion of a husband and wife very much in love.
📹 Expert Attorney Warns Men To Avoid Marriages With Higher Earning Women | The Coffee Pod
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My late husband ended up disabled and I became the sole breadwinner. He stepped up and took care of home as much as he could and I worked and did what I could (my health was and is in decline). Our marriage stayed solid. We had no problems with egos. We were happy the bills were paid and his medical care was well covered. It takes two who make each other the priority to make it work.
I dated a chick that made really good money and was just coming out of a divorce…. Her ex worked for her and she never really respected him… Complained about paying the majority of the bills….Cheated on him with his friend (and i guess she thought telling me that wouldn’t effect my perception of her lol)… She tried manipulating me by asking for me to do things during sex lol…..I clapped them cheeks a few months and skkkkrt…. Stay woke fellas
Ya i put my wife through college she immediately got a job paying more than mine out of college and then started cheating. Within 2 months of her salary exceeding mine she was looking for a way out. I had been the main provider for almost 7 years and for one of those years I was the only provider. Ive never not had a job. But he’s right women are hyper sensitive to pay checks.
A man with less money still has value. They are needed for protection. Men are the voice of reason and help emotional women like myself think logically before overreacting. They are needed as fathers. They are needed as lovers. Everything in life is not all about money. If he is not financially doing well, these other positive attributes should not stop.
I worked and had a great job, made more money than my girl. When kid(s) come along, it all went downhill for me. I had no choice but to leave my job and stay home with the kids due to our schedules, she had started to out earn me and it was the only choice we had ultimately. It was very hard on me giving up my great job that I had worked so hard for over many years! But she became bossy and uncaring about my situation and feelings, I even had to have a talk with her about giving those kids love and attention after coming home from work when all she wanted to do was park her ass on the sofa and ignore them😠 I wasn’t having that! I never really knew or cared about how much money she made or would make, but I learned my lesson there, but honestly a man can’t win either way he goes, if the girl doesn’t have money and she starts burning through yours, that’s a problem, if she makes more than you, she doesn’t respect you as a man more than likely. So we’re fooked in more ways than one most of the time!☹
How true is this? I was married to an MD and the disillusionment of the marriage ended as exactly as she said. Women get very resentful when they work and come home and play mommy as well. biologically, mentally and emotionally women were programmed to be the caregiver and keepers of the home, while men are programmed to provide and protect. I was effective for thousands of years. Not always great but effective for raising children to become well-adjusted humans. Feminism has destroyed the family unit. We will never be the same.
I was vice president at Morgan Stanley and a few other places, so I and my colleagues were making well into 6 figures. Quite often the women I worked with would always talk about how hard it was to find a “good man”. The reality is its not that they couldn’t find a good man they couldn’t find a man making as much or more than they were making, so they could respect them. So it’s NOT about being lazy. If she make $150k and you’re a good, hard working man making $60k that relationship is most likely doomed💩💩💩😉😉😉
Funny how that article pops in my suggestions. My girlfriend is about to get a job where she’s gonna make about 4x what I make. When I heard the news, I thought yeah… This doesn’t look good for us lol. She assures me nothing will change, we’re a team and we’re gonna make it. It’s very hard for me to believe any of it; hypergamy is real and I’ve witnessed it several times. The good thing is, we don’t live together. I’m just gonna keep focusing on my grind and do my thing, and if she wants to tag along well good. But first signs of disrespect, she’s out.
12 year relationship where I paid all the bills, paid for and maintained the vehicles. I get laid off and take time to gather myself again before working…and she says she’s tired of supporting me. You mean like for you while you where in school? the settlement was equivalent to $300 a month for every month together. Woman hadn’t made a single mortgage or rent payment the entire time we were together….just had to buy food for the kids and household stuff while holding down a secure government job
This is absolutely 💯 % facts. Overall, I make more than my soon to be ex-wife, they will have resentment, due to the fact you make more than them. This seems to apply to certain careers, mine is an RN, with a Masters Degree. They are absolutely unbearable, and have no respect for men. KS was spot on, as well. Honestly, just live the Free Agent Lifestyle, Ala Coach Adams. That’s it for me, time to enjoy life.
Some women that I like and have dated, do not know why I never made any commitment towards them. What every man knows is that if you look at a woman and believe you cannot afford to be with her and/or cannot contribute at a better footing than her, the likelihood that a relationship will last is futile and a waste of time, because the woman will never be satisfied. Do not waste your time and do not provide explanations as to why you will not commit.
There is a class of women out there that get with men they feel sorry for. Then female nature kicks in and they eventually get mad at them. However these women choose these men. My ex did just that. I was working and going to school because I planned on marrying her, but her emotional neediness led her to cheat on me with a homeless man. I left and 6 months later she called me begging for money. Turns out Mr. Homeless had no ID, no social security card and no birth certificate and couldn’t get a job. She ended up paying 95% of the bills with him giving her $60 a week from his band gigs. The problem with hypergamy is that women don’t think 4th dimensionally. My ex was so enthralled with his musician status that she forgot to consider if he was actually going to help out with the bills over time. My current wife is a Filipina and she is just happy I earn period. Depending on the season I earn more or I earn less. When I do earn less it is in the winter months but I take more stable work rather than no work. I am curious as to what percentage of women these are. Most women are lazy on most jobs and men are always picking up the slack.
When I met my husband, I was a single Mom, in school, and working full time. He told me he was in school, so I thought great we can build together. He lied about going to school, but being young, I supported him while he “found” himself. Through the years, two kids later, having to sometimes work 2 jobs, he still hasn’t found himself. I stayed to not break up our kids life, but when you’re breastfeeding a kid, doing school work and then going to your full time job, while he’s finding himself…it builds resentment. Now years have passed, my options in dating are less, and you feel stuck…more resentment.
I married a high earner and it destroyed me. I still worked, had a life and hobbies. Then we moved to Australia and I was stripped of everything that was apart of my identity. I couldn’t get work in Australia other than at a chicken factory. I took care of the boy, cooked and worked full time. None of that mattered. We got divorced and I moved back to the States.
Words of Wisdom Women aren’t selfish they’re just not providers, which comes off as selfish. If a woman is a high earner and all bills are paid, she’ll still divorce her husband and split up the family without any financial burdens because it’s unnatural for her to provide for a family unless she’s a single mother.
That attorney put the blame on the men, saying that the relationships don’t work because the man’s ego is hurt. That’s utter BS! There are plenty of Beta Males who are perfectly happy to be a house-husband and to let his wife have a career. It’s the woman who can’t tolerate that situation. She may give it a try because effinism tells them it’s valid, but her own female natural soon comes out and she comes to despise her husband. A woman can’t respect a man who earns less than her, IMPOSSIBLE!
One of the most important points she makes is that the men in these situation “tend to be lazy, unmotivated, lack of passion, relying on the woman to run the household.” Guys, don’t be that boyfriend or husband that is lazy or doesn’t have a passion. You can still have a gf or wife that makes more than you, just make sure you are lifting weights/exercising and taking care of yourself. Make sure you have hobbies of your own and don’t let people disrespect you. I think this is less of a money issue than it is a personal self-esteem issue. If you both are living beneath your means, the money doesn’t become that big of an problem anyways since it’s being put away for savings and not used for bills. Women are making a lot more money these days compared to 20 to 30 years ago. Limiting yourself to a partner who has to make less than you is going to significantly decrease your options. You are worth more in a relationship than just the paycheck. Be a badass in your own right and things will fall into place. Hope this helps.
Married to a nurse who makes more in one shift than I do all week. It works for us because I insist on paying my own way. I keep her compulsive spending habits in check (To a degree) We have our own checking accounts plus a joint account for house expenses. As long as the expenses get paid, we are free to spend our own disposable income as we please. Even though she makes more, She appears to be broke al the time.
I wouldn’t advise always avoiding women who make more money, but it takes a very specific type of brother to “marry up”. Women won’t look down on a man with a strong masculine frame, regardless of his income. At the same time, you cant marry a “boss bitch” and expect her to be feminine. I’d more say, to avoid masculine, angry, confrontational women. That’s more the issue than what she does for a living or how your incomes stack up
I’m in the legal industry and I see post wall, 50 plus, overweight single women, still talking about how they want to date men making more money then them ($150k plus) . I laugh because they bring nothing to the table. But the joke is on me, because my girlfriend also earns more then me and it’s a constant power struggle, even though I make $250k. ….My next girlfriend will be a more traditional woman.
I’ve come across women that made a few hundred thousand a year when I was making peanuts or very early in my career 14 years ago and they tried hard to convince me to live with them and I just couldn’t do it. They saw it as a hard rejection and got very bitchy with me and stopped talking to me. I knew that I would feel silly if I took those offers and when I got older I realized how masculine those women were for even thinking like that. They wanted a feminine man but I’m sure whoever they got wouldn’t work because eventually she would get tired of him and demand masculinity from him.
Let me first of all say that I cannot disagree with the conclusions drawn by both yourself and the female defense attorney. However, there is another side to this saga that I want to mention here. Women who are members of the executive group usually hitch themselves to men of a similar position. I can distinctly remember many years ago having discussion with a lady friend of mine, not an intimate friend, we were just platonic friends; we actually met at a course of study and because we sat alongside each other, we became friendly. I can distinctly remember having a conversation with her about relationships and she echoed a similar thing. She said that there is no way she would ever become involved with a man who was beneath her social and financial level. He had to be on the same level as her or higher but not below. She was adamant that on no account would she ever stoop that low; (my emphasis). I asked her if the man was an artisan, like a carpenter or a mason or even a mechanic if she would reconsider and she bluntly said NO. I have lost track of her now because of our changed situations and the course which was over 20 years ago have long ended and we lost touch due to change of addresses and phone numbers etc; but the point I want to emphasize is this: Why would a woman, who is a managing executive marry a man of a similar career? In this rapidly evolving world, would it not make more sense for executive women to marry men with technical careers and skills? In other words, why would two of the same marry each other when two persons of opposing skills be more marketable and cover a broader range?
Typically when a man makes the lions share of the income his perspective financially is that his money is a benefit to the entire family. When that dynamic is reversed the women begins to FEEL that she doesn’t need the man and her money is only of benefit to her. Men are ingrained with the mindset that they are obligated to take care of their family because he’s focused on family legacy. Modern society has ingrained women to take care of themselves over considerations of family legacy.
I retired at 40 making more money than my wife makes now. She decided to go back to work because she wanted her own money. She said she doesn’t resent me for her going back to work but she does treat me different since. It was her choice to go back to work and that is her money. She also has access to 2/3 of my money.
Very interesting perspective coming from a woman who is an attorney, who I’m SURE makes bank. Wonder if she’s married and how this applies in her own life? I don’t disagree with her, just curiosity. As a woman who makes good money and got sued for alimony from my ex, I always find this topic very interesting. I seek alpha men because when a woman (ANY woman, regardless of her financial status) can walk all over a man, that is extremely unattractive. I’m a big believer in men and women and the roles we both play. This whole thing about ‘toxic masculinity’ is bunch of horseshit! PLEASE open my door, pay for dinner, make decisions! Just my opinion. This and $5 will get you absolutely nothing. 🙂 Like I said, just always find this topic fascinating. Carry on strong men!!!! Women love you and seek you out!!!
Great content! Well said… I also believe that the fact that women try to marry, or get involved with men that make the same amount of money as they do, or higher is because, it’s in their nature. It fulfills one of the 5 human needs – which is security. They want a man that will help provide for them, and their offsprings, and not have to worry about how to keep putting food on the table. Of course, this can be traced back to the time of hunting and gathering, so it’s deeply ingrained in them – they might not be able to help it! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde – Dating Tips
My 2-cents about this whole topic is: Regardless of who makes more money in the relationship, who’s going to take care of the children if both husband and wife are “bosses”/”hustlers”? If they don’t have any relatives around or a reliable nanny that they can rely on, the couple will have to agree that at least one of them will dedicate more time into raising the children while the other parent is working a lot. Also, if both parents are working their 40+ hours a week, 9-5 jobs, who’s going to cook meals, clean the house, do grocery shopping, and maintain the home? Ideally both adults should be contributing their fair share of parenting/adulting. If finances are such a big deal to married couples that they’re willing to break apart their family over a “Why don’t you make X amount of money?!” argument, the marriage and parentage shouldn’t have occurred in the first place because the complainer doesn’t put love and family first. People need to put the wedding vows into practice.. For sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, until death do us part.. So many people forget what being truly committed in a family setting is about. That’s why I won’t ever date a woman that doesn’t have Christian values, ever again.
I hear what she is saying. High achieving women should then seek men of the same stance or higher. Earning more than a man does not mean that a woman would be difficult to live with or marry, it just means that the man will feel inadequate. Men date on your level or level up so they are in a position to provide for the woman they want to be with.
It’s hard to gauge because we already know that the household dynamics have changed. Women are not traditional by force but it’s by choice. I can be an what you called and alpha but some women don’t want a man to contribute as they don’t want a man to control them. So it doesn’t matter to me about all this alpha and beta stuff because most women ain’t even virtuous in the first place they have access to multiple men, if she has substance and self value then they will draw to a man with substance not a man with money or without money. Also a man definitely should be purpose/ passion focused doesn’t matter if his struggling financially or not and my struggles and back ground growing up in the ghetto has shown me that a man should never lead with his money but with his purpose and his heart and a genuine woman will attract to that. Not all women are the same and Also not all men are the same Side note some women will help you and love you even if your broke don’t be fooled out here
I honestly dont think money specifically makes a man feel emasculated. Its the attitude/behavior of the woman. When a man makes more he doesnt wear it on his sleeve for the world to know that he earns more than his woman. When a woman earns more she wears it on her sleeves for the world to know she earns more.
Interesting topic ! I can see all Sides . I do think there are folks that can balance the role reversal but when I’ve seen them work it was because it was just a temporary (1-4 yrs) situation until the kids go to school I do think if life requires role reversals, therapy would be a great idea to figure out all the emotions . I will say, it is complicated being married these days in general with society embracing fluidity on roles . Marriage requires work from both parties, truth, and vulnerability . Once emotions of not being valued, not being respected surface – head to therapy !
The woman is what emasculates the man. Not her job. Anytime she’s upset, she is going to point that out. And we all know how brutal woman are with their tongues. They will find the thing that hurts you the most and ride it like a horse. She basically put it all on the men. Because you can’t tell woman that anything is their fault. They absolutely cannot process that. Men can handle women with money, they can’t handle women who treat them like little boys because she makes a little more than him.
I have been there and I must say “I will never do it again” it’s unfortunate but stay away from a woman who earns more than you. Get your hustle, get your education work harder and get yourself a woman who is on your level. High earning woman will stress you out and will remind you she makes more at every simple argument
I learned to be self-sufficient from my single mom. So, when men would ask me, “Well, what do you need me for?” and I would jokingly say, “For sex, to take out the garbage and to kill bugs.” Needless to say, my comment backfired. My boyfriend told me when we first med, “Men don’t want to marry another man.” Well… NOW I get it! Please take over babe. I don’t want all that responsibility. I will sit back and help. What do you need me to do? She is absolutely correct. I agree with everything this woman says.
A divorce attorney told me that ” stay at home moms” divorce at a higher rate. I agree they are dangerous to marry – looks like almost every kind of women is dangerous to marry. Either they want to protect their money or they want the man’s because she knows she will have to go to work. Maybe a smart man just says to his potential wife, let’s see how this goes for 40 years before we marry so you can leave if your not happy. You know she can leave at anytime anyway.
She can tell you why, but no one is telling you how. 1. Command respect. You dudes don’t know how to command respect from women. You can only be emasculated if you allow it to happen. A man should command respect under all circumstances from all people man or woman. You do it through you values, words, and body language. Present your values early and do not compromise them. 2. Provide value to the situation. No matter what, a man should be providing “value.” People think this only means providing financially. This is not the case. I have a bachelors from a medium size university, but I made more money and out performed colleagues who went to Standford, Cornell, University of Michigan. As a man, you should always show your value. It doesn’t have to be in a traditional space. It just has to relevant to the situation. You need to cover the spaces that need resources. Is the home functional, are the kids discipline, security on point, budget staying balanced, investments being managed, participating in the community (coaching, organizing etc).. Show your value. 3. Keep it her mind if she is not your woman, some one else will be. No woman wants a man another woman doesn’t want. Stay in shape, maintain your conversation skills, dress well, keep a network, have hobbies. You will always have a woman with these rules. Even one that out earns you. Trust!
What she saying is true but the only thing that she did not say which she wanted to say is that those women go shopping for weak men they go looking for broken men Mama’s boy the reason why I said that those women are always in control at work your life everything you’re in control they are not going to get a man that is going to take control they don’t want that everything 100% must be control by them
The issue with contemporary marriage rules is that nearly no one is held accountable for their wrongdoing. If you, for example, yell at a coworker and bring him or her to tears, you risk being fired, demoted, or facing a salary cut from the human resource department. When married, though, you can rage at your spouse without fear of repercussions from the authorities, short of calling the police. There appear to be little, if any, incentives to behave harmoniously in marriage, with the ultimate consequence being worse than in the workplace, where intimacy is not expected as it is in marriage. In a marriage, yelling undermines the trust you should have in your partner and frequently culminates in the loss of personal ties with your spouse. Once trust is shattered, it is irreversible, and once the union is shattered by something like this, everything is over. It’s a leaderless, free-for-all relationship, unlike any other contractual arrangement I’m aware of. Any business that operated in this manner would inevitably collapse, just as the majority of marriages do presently. Couples should be compelled to take courses on how to make a marriage last before receiving a marriage license, similar to how you obtain a driver’s license — I know, it seems childish and paternalistic, as if one method fits all.
The point is these are reasons the woman will destroy the marriage. Not why a marriage mysteriously “won’t work”. Huge difference not to be over looked. The second point is when a man can conceivably keep a woman, then he’s progressed to a point where he doesn’t need any particular one. So now, mate selection becomes paramount. He can lose everything to the wrong woman. Which then begs the question,,, why even get married in the first place? Why the risk? What are the potential gains? The possible losses are CRYSTAL clear. Proceed with caution…
This is what I’ve experienced as a high earning woman. I think this is good advice. People tend to separate earning potential from values/character but they are intertwined. At the end of the day, high achievers and low achievers just have different values/work ethics whether it’s the man or the woman that is the high achiever. In order for relationships to work, both people have to feel like there’s an equal and complimentary contribution. The problem in the marriages she speaks of is that in order to compensate for their own sense of non-achievement, lower earning men tend to want to see their high earning wives act “traditional” so he feels more masculine. This throws the balance of contribution wayyyy off. And if the man is still entrenched in patriarchy, he’s going to feel that he’s not contributing equitably whether the woman says anything or not. So resentment builds on both sides and the woman recognizes she is better off alone and feels entitled to everything because she created and managed everything. This is well documented/researched. So yes, people should date those who are on the same level intellectually, financially, emotionally, etc… so that there is a sense of balanced contribution. It goes both ways (men and women). In the situations where men “marry down” they develop resentment too and those women often end up divorced with no marketable skills or ability to earn a living outside the marriage if they acted as stay at home wives and had children. So good advice for both genders…stay in your lane.
FEMALE NATURE: what is mine is mine, what is yours is mine. FEMALE NATURE: Always looking to monkey branch to the male of higher social status in the male hierarchy. She also likes to set up situations where males come to violence over her. Her reward is twofold. Firstly, she gets the stronger male as the weaker one is physically beaten, and beaten in spirit too. In the earliest, most savage ages of mankind, the physically weaker male may even end up dead. Secondly, it is a natural ego boost and adrenaline rush to “natural” women to see men physically fighting over her. This is why the wise early fathers of society set it up so that EVERY woman had to get married, the society did not allow a divorce, children were expected 9 months out from the date of marriage, and the societal status of unmarried women was ZERO. The effects of these societal norms was the reduction of competition and hence violence among men over women, as once a man had a wife, and fathered children by her, his entire mental focus shifted into provider mode, and he did not care to compete for, or look at, any other woman, nor did he have the time or energy. This meant that he could accept a lower place in the male hierarchy as it did not preclude him from having a mate, children, some status – regardless of how modest, and then he could still work within the male hierarchal rules to move up and improve his status. Since there are multiple male hierarchies he could also achieve his dream ranking in any one of those hierarchies and be content.
I loved Jack Nicholson’s Mervyn Udall quote in As Good As It Gets. His publisher’s blonde receptionist asks him: “Mr Udall, how do you write women so well?” He says, “I start with a man, then I take away reason and accountability.” I think the midlife crisis in men is mostly centred on their worries about being able to provide when their drive seems to be diminishing. In women it is mainly emotional and hormonal.
I think the idea that women that earn more than men (how much more? earning 1,000$ more won’t change much) won’t respect their man is kind of like zeroing in on any one factor (age, religion, language, race) and claiming: your relationship won’t work because of that precise factor. If you marry a gold digger and she makes more than you, yeah, makes sense she doesn’t respect you, the only thing you are “good for” she beat you at. If she’s not a pos she won’t care that much.
C’mon Chisha Zed, I understand in general that maybe the case at times, however you can’t judge this on a premeditated ideal. But to judge things by the individual’s behavior, and decision making in the present moment. Having the correct understanding of what’s going on in the present time. Because according their in general study, I suppose to be one of the men not to marry. I’m a ship captain and I fall in the military & pilot category and that’s not true in my case nor some of the guys that they list.
A lot of men for the past decade did not have fathers in their lives. Most don’t know their role as a husband and a father. When they find that their wives are working, some think they can depend on them. I have seen a lot of males who quit their jobs after working so long, just because they are not happy working, or find excuses to leave their jobs. All these by knowing well, that their wives are there to back them up. They tend to look for jobs but then they are not serious.
The woman who is saying this, is a high earning lawyer. In another article she advises women not to marry men in very respected professions. And in another article she claims that the worst female clients in a divorce are stay at home moms, so men should not have wives who stay at home. Basically it seems like: no matter what you do, you will divorce. Good luck, everyone! ✌️
I actually disagree. You have to maintain masculine frame at ALL TIMES. You have to basically run shit and be a King. Now you do have to be financially functional, but you don’t have to make more. I would even argue you have less to lose financially. What she’s talking about is guys who not only make less, but don’t do shit. That’s a separate situation.
I agree to some extent because it could instill pride in the woman. However, I’m currently in this situation where my wife earns more than me and is really really humble at the same time (thank God); but she knows I’m very passionate about being successful, hardworking and don’t want to settle for less but do everything legit to increase our wealth. She keeps telling me that I’m a goal getter and believes in me.
I saw your other article and I decided to watch the full article with the attorney. I had one comment or observation the attorney did not mention explicitly and this comment or observation is from people who have been in this situation or know people who have been in a situation where the women earned higher than the man. These people mentioned that in these marriages some women flat out did not respect guys in any form, both as a men and human being. More especially the women tend to wear the pants and dictate everything in the marriage but sooner or later they get tired and will want out of marriage. The problem here is that most modern women will likely not have successful dating and marriage as it appears to be the case already because on average they already earn higher than men and will likely earn substantially higher than men in future. The high earning women will compete for a small pool of high earning men, a pool which I believe will shrink given how and where the world is going and hence many of these high earning women will end up alone.
Tbh, I was rather triggered when I first heard the title and heard the first talking points but was still prompted to listen. I’m the breadwinner in my family and guess what, they’re not 100% wrong. Now I wasn’t angry at my ex husband for being the SAH dad but he started competing with me thanks to HIS peers. When they started clowning him and he turned his sites against me with resentment instead of gratitude, I’ll have to admit, in my mind I’m thinking “this BAMF, bad enough I’m the one providing, which is HIS job, but to have the audacity to get mad at me for doing his job, what kind of role reversal bs is that? Then, the day I lost all respect for him was when he said “you don’t buy me nothing”, I repeated “nicca, you don’t buy ME nothing, tf”. He said “you don’t buy me a bologna sandwich.” I said “same, you CAN’T but me a bologna sandwich.” He said “you don’t even buy me a cold soda!” I said “wtf is this? I WAS THERE FOR THIS! I was there when your mother told that girl she was taking care of these words about her BOYFRIEND! What are you? You my B!TCH, now?!” Yes, this was a real argument. And I did divorce him. Why? Because no matter what I did, nothing was good enough to make him happy. It didn’t help that the church he chose for us so so ingrained in our marriage, it heroes destroy it. I’ll never go back to church. I may not agree 100% here only because I think if my ex husband was gratuitous instead of resentful, I think we would have been fine. Other than that, the rest happened as you said.
I kinda disagree because I know dudes that have wife’s that makes more money.. Look at Nicki Minaj she married a dude fresh out of prison.. Also we live in a Society where a woman can earn more than a man.. A lot of jobs that some men have such as physical labor job’s don’t pay that much..So unless you have some kinda college degree or a special skill you are not gonna make that much money..So the chances of a woman that makes a lot of money finding a husband just base on him earning more than her is very slim..
The only thing I want to “provide” through my income is SECURITY. I don’t want to provide a woman money. That means alimony/palimony. They can make their own money these days. They get priority college admissions/aid, priority hiring, and priority promotion. Most are still financially irresponsible though. They don’t live well below their means and invest. I make 6 figures. I wanted a woman that makes roughly what I do. I also have around an 800 FICO and growing wealth. I wanted a women with at least a 760 FICO, an emergency fund, and a growing investment portfolio. My wife had that, and more education than I have. I don’t give a damn about job titles. I’m coast-F.I. Most of my supervisors need their jobs more than I need mine, as they didn’t control their lifestyle creep while saving/investing. Some of them also don’t get OT. I do.
My wife 35F is in sales. She averaged $430k the last 3 years. She filed. We were married 10 years and have a 2 year old and 4 year old. She ended hooking up with our babysitter/daycare worker 22F. They live together in my old house. She has the complete upper hand in her new relationship. I’ll be ok though, about to start my job flying for an airline. Good riddance to a toxic woman
There is some truth to what this lady is saying, and it applies to low-income men with poor education and lack of ambition. Example, if a wife earns $100k a year and then man earns $80k, these problem don’t exist. Today men don’t know how to lead without there pocket and it’s sad, and due to lack of ambition they feel insecure while the women has her dream job….
Why not? Get that bag. Always have an exit plan. She wants to be the boss at home? Let her, and pursue your hobbies and interest. It’s long overdue for women to grind in corporate and men having easier time at home. Besides, technology makes housework a breeze now. Traffic? F that. Politics at work? F that. Toxic colleagues at work? F that. As soon as the complaining, gaslighting, blaming, looking down on start it’s time to exit and ask for alimony. Alimony is paid from the higher earning to lower earning partner regardless of gender. Especially in the state of California. What man should do in this instance is to if you are plan on exiting, quit your job at least a year before executing the plan. The payout will be worth it. Get the bag 💰💰💰.it’s 2022. Names like b.eta, useless, worthless, lazy should not affect you in one bit. Women have been doing it for AGES. It’s the year of equality. Make use of the divorce court and DO NOT SETTLE for the cheaper settlement. Go for maximum damage. Guys. Work on your perspective. Marrying a high earning women definitely has the pros. You need to see it and not ignore it. Think of it this way. Men grind at work only to be called all kinds of name, why not getting paid to be called all kinds of name without the hassle of a corporate life? The fact that marriage with a high earning don’t work is for sure a plus points, for men who married one
Women are losing big time and many will die alone. They better appreciate what they have now regardless their situation or setup. If the woman has a man keep him because you chose him. Divorce doesn’t always lead to a Tyler Perry love story. Many will divorce and remain a looking for someone better forever…
“Men are providers?” That’s not quite what she said. She said that it is “engrained within the society” that men are SUPPOSED to be providers. Let’s not put words in the woman’s mouth. She didn’t define lazy men as “betas.” That was your description. Women are not “takers” by nature. A woman gave you life, Mr. Ungrateful. Women sometimes out earn men. Get used to it. This is a phenomenon that is not going away.
A man in out neighbourhood marry a 12th pass girl. He was mid level government servant, but took loans to educate his wife, sent her to canada to persue higher education. She returned and only after six months of getting a job in Canada her reply was ‘YOU DON’T DESERE ME’. On the other hand I have observed countless men marry working women on the condition that they will quit job after marriage are leading a wonderful life with any feminism in their lives.
If a man earns less than his wife and/or is less strong and/or powerful than his wife, what is he bringing into the relationship as a man and husband? He might be bringing in a lot as a human and spouse but what is he bringing as a man and husband? He moght be a capable provider and protector to many women but certainly not to his wife if the wife is much more capable than him in those roles.
I’m a very strong minded individual that does what I want in life (not a beta). I want a really strong partner I can share depth and intellect with.. do y’all think that’s possible? I’m not one of those guys who wants a traditional relationship. I want an equal. One problem I’ve noticed is A LOT of high performing women have inflated egos and think they are better than that any chance they get. I HATE that shit. Thoughts?
…she presuming the woman pays all the bill… my wife could be making 200k, and I just don’t study her money, I had a career before I met her, and I was living in my own home. I’m 6’6..my shorty won’t be throwing her finances in my face,😑 when I’m still paying all the bills, and still doing my thing. I would purposely get a higher earner…cause she won’t be so quick to divorce, cause she would have more to loose than me. People aren’t taking personas into account. Alpha could be making 50% less than his wife, and he still keeps her in check.
The ONLY standard that can not be applied equally to men and women is in regards to the production of sperm or eggs. EVERY SINGLE OTHER STANDARD is absolutely universal and can be applied absolutely equally to both men AND women. If such conditions or variables would designate a perception of laziness in men. Then those EXACT SAME conditions or variables also designate a perception of laziness in women. Period. End of story.
It makes sense to me that men married to high earners would adopt a zero motivation lifestyle or a stay at home dad lifestyle. I think alot of men understand rationally that a good salary is for taking care of your family. When your partner makes more than you can hope to make then that requirement is fulfilled. Alot of men don’t want money for the status or bragging rights like most women. We want a family and the family to be taken cared of. You don’t have to want to conquer the world to be considered a man
I make more than my husband and always have. Probably always will. It works when there is mutual respect and both put in equal effort. That’s true in any relationship. If a man has a SAHW and she does nothing at all, resentment will build (especially if she keeps digging into his money). Same as if a SAHH did nothing. Couples need to find the balance of effort that works for them and stick with it. The money is not nearly as important as having each partner feel that they contribute equally. I’d be interested to see this woman provide breakdowns on the division of effort in these failed marriages. I wonder how many were actually unequal and how many the inequality was just perceived.
I earn more money thant my partner and there is no pb. The difference is that we met 10 years ago and both under special conditions (the loss of our respective mothers). This is also why our couple and our relationship was out of place at the time. And then we both studied, and each supported the other in times of difficulty: me professionally and he financially. I followed him in the South of France at the time and since September, he has accompanied me to Oslo in Norway so that I can carry out some of my projects. Concessions are made on both sides in a couple. Today we have remunerated activities together but also different professions, distinct in parallel; and at this level I earn a lot more money than him. But everything is going well. As for marriage, neither of us wants it, we’re more for starting a family.
You would think that an educated woman would give good advice but its how she thinks and not what it’s correct. So with her logic, if I make 100k a year and my wife makes 150k a year then I’m automatically unmotivated and lazy? What if I’m an accountant and she’s a lawyer? She’s clueless. I can think of many reasons other than those. A women that makes more money will always remind you of it, she will deliberately take you to very expensive events that are out of your means so that when you complain she will acuse you of being cheap and unambitious. Also, she will always view this in her point of view that you are spending her money even when you are contributing. This is why I dont take serious advice from educated female.
In my region, there are many married couples whose wives earn more than their husbands and yet lead happy lives. Why? Because they are bound by faith and tradition. They work out their earning differences. Humility and respect are important. Once ego comes in, no matter how much each spouse earn, the marriage won’t last.
I was married and made more than my spouse. The marriage did not last because of the division of labor theory in a man’s mind. Men think I make more so women need to pick up the slack by handing the household and kids. When the women makes equal or more then the man this means he has to pick up after himself and pitch in on the household duties. What I heard her say is that these marriages fail because the men only get married to have a personal assistant that cooks, cleans, and does his laundry. Since this hurts his feelings the marriage fails.
I seriously doubt the man’s ego about wanting to earn more is that significant of a factor. If anything, he probably is self-conscious about earning less because most women wouldn’t give you the time of day if you earned less. It’s women being particular about his that is driving the behavior. Women don’t pursue women because of their income; women DEFINITELY look for men due to their income, one of the most important things to women seeking a mate.
Basically women are not good with levels of stress. Men have been accustomed to that over thousands of years and most of us guys are trained as young boys to handle it. But women lose their shit and either start venting by emotionally abusing the man and/or cheating. Men – marry a women who earns less than you and sees your value. They are simple creatures and have as much leverage over you as you allow them to. Period.
I can’t be a stay at home dad I’m currently the bread winner and the provider for my house hold my friends clown me for that while they kick they legs back and live off they girl friends. I see the slick comments they girl make when they are out with me and my girl they talk to their men like children. It’s crazy
It’s always going to be an elephant in the room when a woman makes more. Either the man will have insecurities or the woman will have high expectations and be “boss.” Or both. Women that make more can be fun to date for short periods of time. I would not take them or the situation seriously. Best to avoid in most cases.
Btw I think ladies also make a mistake of being too hands on in the household too, leaving no room for the guy to be respected or do stuff. It leaves the guy feeling emasculated. The high earning women need to leave certain tasks for the guy and not take over and thus emasculate them. The woman needs to learn how to keep a space where they’ll always keep a respect to their man. Bc those women need to have masculine energy at work but should not bring it home. I think that’s why unwinding after work before entering the house is good for both the guy and woman – they can switch energies. Maybe for the guy he can have peace and quiet for a bit after work as well
See, there is no blanket statements about high earning women. I married a one of a kind. For 25 years, my wife makes 100k more than I do. There is no power struggle, no resentment, no keeping score or the pettiness that I’ve read in some of these comments. Stop marrying these simple-minded women who’s only there until the going gets rough. Real women want a partner who adds to what she has, it doesn’t matter how much, so long as you work together you won’t have any issues.
This is not true. I’m a student and also working and I get ghosted by successful men for not earning enough. And the same successful men suddenly go for lesser attractive but a woman with a higher income. One guy who dumped me, even told me this:,,if my girlfriend and I get married and combine our income, we can afford a great house in a good neighborhood”
I agree, recently met a doctor that complained that her husband only gave her 5 kids as if that’s all she can say he’s done great. She pays all bills, kids tuition, bought the car he drives and she said “I just want him to do better”, I told her You done did it all, and out did him in many ways, there’s no matching with you. She’s holding it together for the sake of the children.
Bottom line, women only make more because women have no real worries or responsibility going throughout life being allowed to potentially attain the type of work to earn nice wages whereas they wouldn’t back in the day…If a woman wants to be modern than don’t expect to have a traditional relationship. Love and respect your man because trust is earned and built by everything money can’t buy.
I’m have entered a relationship with a woman that makes so much money that even my best case scenario income would be inconsequential if our finances were combined. Men makes jokes about how great it would be to land a rich woman, but when it actually happens, I assure you that you will have fears that you never even considered. It has nothing to do with jealousy or insecurity. She has worked hard to be where she is and deserves everything she has. She may have more to lose financially, but what I value more than money, (freedom) is at stake. I’m somewhat of a minimalist and far more happy to live on 50k a year while taking 6 months off of work than the vast majority of the population. I fear that what my laid back attitude and leisurely attitude toward work, which she initially found attractive will turn into resentment that I’m not willing to work a 60 hour week for 50 weeks a year in order to live a luxurious lifestyle and make unnecsessary expenditures.
My situation is a little different. At the beginning of our relationship she made about 60% what I did. Once she finished training (Physician) her salary literally went up from 60k to 400k+. Now here is the biggest difference I think. Most stories I hear is that when a woman out earns her man, the woman NEEDS to work in order for bills to be paid. But as someone who makes over 125k. If she stopped working tomorrow, all bills would still be paid. Side note, neither of us wants kids. Will it work out in the long run? Hopefully. If not, I’ll just take the alimony I guess lol.
Another Nurses “Horror Story” Is when they do “Marry down” One married a guy working construction. Soon after the wedding, he not only quit his job but became a pimp. He forced her to work double shifts and to take every extra shift which became available in order so he could spend more of her money
It’s bc the guy doesn’t feel needed but also I heard that the guy will see all the work being done so he doesn’t ‘need’ to contribute bc it’s already being done. But the woman is doing the work bc the guy is slower or takes it for granted right?. But the woman doesn’t want to do it — so if the guy can please step in before the work gets done and do it beforehand – then the woman can respect you bc the guy is contributing. Similar to what the podcaster is saying. Do your part. It’s similar to being competent… The woman is competent so you have to be competent too or at least contribute half. I think that’s reasonable. In terms of respect, yes it’s possible for women to lose respect for the man so you do have to hold onto the respect part but in a partnership format not blaming. Find ways in the relationship that the woman can respect you for. Honestly just stepping in and doing things before being asked or asking kindly to offer to do things that you know the person doesn’t like to do — even if they say no just do it for them (chores)
I know a guy, whos high earning wife of 15 years cheated on him with a good looking, high earning work colleague. She thought he would leave his wife for her. But of course he didn’t. She lost her husband, her boyfriend, her job, and her home. She spent all of the money from the divorce settlement in 2 years. Now she is 40, homeless, jobless, and single, and cant find a man to commit to her. Her ex husband now has a much younger, more loving wife, and is much more wealthy, because he doesn’t have his ex wife sucking him dry any more. It is a huge mistake to think you are better than your husband. If he is an honoable, responsible, wise, man, you should never, ever leave him. And if you listen to him, help him, he will build a really great life for you. But if you betray him, you will have to watch everything you wanted slip away, as he builds that life with someone else.
It’s important for men to realized that we are biologically design to protect and support the family. If a financially successful women wants to get married we should ask is why? She just can hire a body guard to protect her. Women are biologically design to start a family. If our intentions are in line then marry her. Prophet Muhammad pbuh first wife was Khadijah r. a..She was a rich merchant and higher status in society compared to the prophet. Prophet Muhammad saw was her husband until she passed away.
That advice is all good when you’re ‘just’ in a relationship but its TERRIBLE advice when you’re looking to get married. Being that which ever one of you makes the most money, that person is the one who has to pay the other LIFE LONG alimony if you get divorced…No way in hell I would marry ‘down’ financially.
Ive been with my wife for fifteen years and I don’t have no problems with our pay difference . She makes more then I do and has always made more then I do and the expenses never have been a problem she doesn’t throw it in my face or even blame me for having a child before we meet and I was paying child support for my oldest and still giving my check to bills as well.. I asked her about it but she said money doesn’t matter to her as long as we are in love and faithful what more could she ask for we also have a son together who is 14 now and I do the household responsibilities clean out her car and still go out to eat and pay for food outta my pocket. Not all women are like the one I choose and I’m the lucky one
The TRUTH About Independent Women Being overly independent, lol now hold on because I know some of ya’ll are already feeling some kind of way because the word “independent” or “independent woman” it hits ya’ll and you ask him what in the world is wrong with being independent shouldn’t that be respected and loved? Listen, any man with genuine intentions won’t take issue with your ability to do so. However, if he’s a good man, he wants to love you and in the desire to love you, he wants to provide, he wants to do things for you, and when you are overly independent you are cutting off his ability to give you love. You are choking his ability to feel valued in the relationship.
Women “hold on to their money” in a divorce? Huh? You think men don’t want to hold on to their money in a divorce? How about “the divorce court gives women a lot more leeway and assumptions than it does for men, especially with children”? Why don’t we just keep money out of this picture? Keep your finances separate. Split everything. Then divorce is so simple. But how to get a divorce court to respect that?
This is so dumb… there’s thousands of pick me women who would happily accept a mid-rate guy who loved them well. I think people need to look more deeply inside about the character of the women they’re marrying, and also their resentment of having to pull their weight in non-financial ways. You mean to tell me a wife would be upset if kids are cared for, home is clean, roses are bought, and laundry is done??? Something is not adding up.