The average cost of a wedding in 2021 was $28,000, with some people finding it reasonable while others start to worry about the financial implications. A big wedding is worth it only if you fall into one of the categories or follow the guidelines. Some couples may think that getting into debt for a wedding is not worth it, as they will be paying it off for years and feel stupid if the marriage doesn’t work out.
A big wedding is a huge milestone for couples that marks the start of their lives together and allows them to make wise financial decisions. However, it doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Weddings can take place at various venues, flowers, catering, or even at a courthouse, campsite, museum, or restaurant. The ceremony itself can serve as a powerful symbol of love and dedication.
Some couples argue that the cost of a wedding is not justified by the temporary nature of the event, as the wedding day itself is just one day out of a lifetime together. According to Forbes, only 1 in 3 couples end up hiring a wedding videographer, but not hiring one is a decision that 98% of brides end up regretting.
There are several reasons why weddings can be expensive, including not being a party down the lane, going for court marriage, keeping rituals simple, and having a small, intimate gathering to celebrate love. In 2022, couples hosting weddings with 50 or fewer guests spent an average of nearly $15,000, while couples who invited between 51 and 100 guests spent nearly $15,000.
In conclusion, a big wedding is not necessarily the best option for everyone, but it is important to consider the pros and cons of both big and small weddings to ensure a successful and fulfilling experience for both the couple and their guests.
📹 Why Weddings Are So Expensive Now… And Is It Worth It?
This video is brought to you by Charles Schwab Investing Themes™, invest in what you believe in. Learn more at …
Do more expensive weddings lead to divorce?
Money can’t buy happiness, including at weddings. A study of 1,000 people who married in the last decade found that spending too much on a wedding leads to divorce. The average wedding costs about $34,000. However, 60% spend less than $10,000, with 44% spending less than $5,000. These are the reasonable couples. Some couples spend tens of thousands of dollars on their wedding, thinking that the more they spend, the happier they will be. This backfires. Too much spending can lead to marital problems. More than 80% of couples said that paying off their wedding debt caused problems in their marriage. Wedding debt contributed to divorce in 79% of marriages. More than 12% spent over $40,000 on their wedding. Another 12% spent between $30,000 and $40,000. Almost 7% spent between $20,000 and $29,999.
Is 100 people a good size wedding?
Is 100 guests too many for a wedding? Weddings are rare, so it’s normal to plan a lot for yours. How many people to invite to your wedding depends on your family and friends. 75 to 100 guests is fine, but 150+ is too many. You might invite almost 100 people to your wedding. This is realistic since you and your fiancé have friends and family you want to be there. What should you consider when deciding how many guests to invite? Budget is the most important thing to consider when deciding your wedding size. Many couples have money problems after their wedding because they didn’t budget for how much it would cost to invite a particular number of people. If you need more money to invite more people, invite fewer. This will help you budget and plan an excellent honeymoon.
Friends and families – some people have many friends and family, and you wouldn’t want to leave anyone out. When planning your wedding, you and your fiancé should make a list of your family and friends and see how many people you can invite. If the list is too big for your budget, you can invite fewer distant friends and families and more close ones.
Is 120 a big wedding?
What is a small wedding? There’s no one-size-fits-all wedding guest list. Different amounts of guests feel right to different people based on family, friends, culture, and religion. Mason considers 75 to 150 guests to be average, and anything over 150 to be large. For weddings under 75, she has three categories: Intimate wedding: 50 to 75 guests. Small wedding: Fewer than 50 guests. “That number can fit in a backyard with 6 or so tables,” she says. Tiny wedding: Fifteen people or less. You might also see “minimony” or “micro wedding” used to describe a wedding of this size.
How to Determine Your Wedding Size. The number of guests doesn’t matter. It’s about who’s important to you. Who do you call or text first when you have a major moment? Mason says the people you want to celebrate with are the ones you put on the list first.
What are the cons of a big wedding?
Con: You pay for the fancy venue and more. You’ll have to pay extra for a bigger venue and more things at the reception. This is part of the cost of a big wedding. Pro: Many hands make work easier. If you’re good at delegating, you’ll have help to make everything go smoothly. Your second cousins can put up decorations, your high school friends can be ushers, and your dad’s golfing buddies can set up tables and chairs.
Con: Planning a big wedding is hard. You have to be in charge of your wedding. With more guests, there are more opinions and more chaos. If you have to micromanage, extra help won’t help.
Is a 100 person wedding too small?
Is 100 people too small for a wedding? A wedding with 100 guests is not too small. A wedding is either small or large depending on who you ask. Some couples want big weddings with lots of guests, while others want small, intimate weddings with just close friends and family. Your wedding should reflect your preferences and the type of event you want.
Cost of feeding 100 wedding guests. Feeding 100 guests is one of the biggest wedding expenses. The cost per person varies depending on the menu, venue, and location. The cost of feeding a wedding guest is between $10 and $150. If you want a budget wedding, think about how much it will cost to feed your guests when you decide how many to invite. A smaller guest list costs less to feed. Think about what you like when choosing the menu. If you want a fancy menu, it will cost more per person.
Is 200 people too many for a wedding?
“Verdure” by Paperless Post; photo by Saje Photography. The big one: 150-200 guests. Want a supersized wedding? You can invite everyone on your list plus some extra guests. You’ll have room for friends, family, plus ones, friends of your parents, college friends, and second cousins.
A supersized wedding has benefits:
— A bigger party. A guest list this big is a recipe for a great time. Photo booth selfies after too much champagne? Check. Your best friend DJing to your favorite songs? Yes.
Does a big wedding matter?
There’s no right answer when it comes to eloping or having a big wedding. Each couple should think about what matters most to them before making this important decision. Think about your lifestyle, budget, and preferences.
Do you really need a big wedding?
2. How many guests? Next, think about how many people you want to invite and who you really need to be there. If you’re planning a big wedding for 25 guests, you probably want to invite all your cousins, college friends, friends’ significant others, kids, co-workers, etc. If you want just the two of you or fewer than 12 people, an elopement is better. Most parks limit groups to 12 people to protect the environment. Instead of inviting everyone, you could invite your immediate family, best friends, and/or dogs. Keep it to your closest friends and family, who will make it the best day ever!
3. Location. Where you get married is one of the most important things to think about when deciding between an elopement and a big wedding. If you want a big wedding, you’ll need a traditional venue like a barn, resort, church, country club, or winery. Some wedding venues are unique, but most are still the same. If you want to elope, you can go anywhere in the world! Your favorite place, the mountain top where you got engaged, the beach you grew up going to, or the island you’ve always wanted to visit… your options are endless! You might even find a place that no one has ever gotten married at before! If you want to elope in a natural area, remember that your group needs to be small. The environment can’t handle large groups, and we want to respect the land. Learn more about how to Leave No Trace with your adventure elopement here! Think about your family when choosing your location. Where can they travel to? How much will it cost? How much time can they take off work?
Does a big wedding lead to a better marriage?
What did they find? Couples with big weddings were more likely to stay married. Couples whose weddings had fewer than 50 guests were only 31% happy. Researchers defined happy marriages as those in the top 40% based on survey results, although they admit this number is arbitrary.
The difference might be because of witnesses. More guests means more people see a couple commit to each other, which could make them more likely to stay together. The sociologist Paul Rosenblatt came up with this idea in the 1970s, but it may be outmoded today with so many people sharing photos on social media. Researchers also thought that the “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” effect, a 2002 comedy about a bride and her family’s over-the-top wedding, could appear because a larger wedding shows greater community support. Couples with larger networks of friends and family may have more help and encouragement in married life.
What is considered a huge wedding?
How many guests are invited to a wedding? A small wedding has 50 or fewer guests, a medium wedding has 50 to 150 guests, and a large wedding has over 150 guests. If your family has big weddings with lots of guests, a small wedding might seem small to you. Similarly, if you’ve only been to very small weddings, a big wedding might seem huge. These numbers will be different for everyone. How do you decide which size is right for you? The main factor in creating a guest list is usually budget. Your guest list and budget will help you decide which size wedding is right for you, says Tara. If your family is big, you can’t have a small wedding. How does budget affect this? Think about what you can afford when choosing the right size event. If your budget is $65,000, it would mean two different things for 50 people versus 200 people, Tara says.
What are the pros and cons of a big wedding?
Pros and Cons of Big Weddings: No guest list limits! Putting together a guest list can be stressful. … Con: More expensive. Pro: The more, the merrier! … Con: Less choice. … Pro: Bigger registry! … Con: Less intimate. … No matter the size, we’re here to help! Ever since you were little, you’ve wanted a big wedding. Now that you’re engaged, it’s time to see if your big wedding dreams are realistic. See below for our list of pros and cons for big weddings. Pro: No guest list limits! Putting together a guest list can be stressful. When you plan a small wedding, you have to make a list of your favorite people and then cut it down to the essentials. You can invite anyone at a big wedding.
Con: More expensive. A larger guest list means higher costs. A big wedding costs more because there are more people to feed, more space is needed, and there are other factors.
Is it okay to not want a big wedding?
Yes, you can have guests. A small wedding can be as few as 25 guests or no guests at all. You can have just you and your partner, or you can invite your family and friends to a special place or Airbnb.
📹 Grand Weddings Are A Waste Of Money
Grand Weddings are such a waste of money and resources. Its interesting that people still fall into the whole trap of needing to …
We got married in my parents backyard, $5k budget, delicious taco truck, Trader Joe’s flowers, Costco alcohol, family and best friends only, and a dress code of “whatever you find most comfortable.” It was the best decision we could have made. To me the absolute biggest and best reason to not have an expensive wedding is that any money you don’t spend can go toward your life and goals as a couple. We expedited buying a house, future retirement, and just living an overall better life because we didn’t sink our life savings into a wedding. People should do what they want, but I think it’s really dangerous how normalized it is to go into debt or just make really bad financial decisions for a one day event that has zero impact on the quality of your life or the strength of your marriage.
My husband and I got married on a public beach in Florida in 2019, had 12 guests, and reception dinner at a local restaurant, cake from Publix, flowers from Trader Joe’s and my wedding dress was $75 from ASOS. TOTAL including literally everything (photographer and travel expenses, etc etc) was less than $5,000 for a 5 day trip to the beach and wedding. We didn’t go into debt and we had a great time!! We’re also still happily married 🙂 One thing I would do differently is I would’ve done my own hair but that’s it!
Recently attended an international bach that ran me close to $2k and going to an international wedding for the same person. Neither destinations were culturally significant for the person, but just what they wanted. Influencer-level weddings have been normalized in a lot of circles around me to the point where I feel like I can’t speak out about it, so thanks for this article!
Shelby, loving this series! Talking about those timely, but difficult convos which help to free ourselves of rigid societal pressures. I used to be a part time weekend catering employee, there were so many couples/families who really couldn’t afford the wedding they paid for. Day of declined credit cards for the day of necessary extras, having to ask extended family members for baseline wedding expenses after the couple/their parents max out their credit and resources early in the process. I witnessed so many wedding day financial fights between families to where it ruined the day for themselves completely. I’ve been a bartender where they couldn’t tip us until a couple of weeks later due to finances. I hope that couples get back to the wedding they can afford and put the financial focus on their future to include their savings, investments and home.
My best friend had the most beautiful and special wedding at her parents place. Granted, they own a beautiful property in Northern California with gardens and plenty of space. But the wedding was special because the bride and groom decided on a potluck event. They had friends play music instead of hiring anyone. They asked everyone to bring a dish and had people sign up for main, sides, etc. Friends provided wine they made themselves, flowers they grew, etc. The bridesmaids were given a volor to wear and they bought or borrowed dresses (second hand is souch more affordable). The community just came together and it was the best wedding I’ve ever been to. They paid maybe $5,000 out of pocket.
My cousin’s wedding (I already agreed to be a bridesmaid in in 2022) is in May in Paris and the tickets were going to be $2,000 each for my husband and I. That’s $4,000 only in travel 🙃 I told her we couldn’t make it and luckily she was very understanding. Thank goodness. It caused me so much anxiety.
My husband (29M) and I (27F) dated for 9 years. We skipped getting engaged (which could be a whole other article you could do). We didn’t tell anyone in advance and had fun texting and calling people the next day. We live outside of D.C., these were our costs: Marriage License ($30), Certificate Fee ($3), Officiant/Lawyer ($75), White Dress from Amazon ($40), Suit (already owned), Fancy Dinner with Tip ($200).
14:43 I’m SO glad you’re addressing bachelorette parties!!! I was the first to get married and have a child, so all my friends were at my bachelorette party, which was a night out in our hometown. When my friends started getting married, it was Nashville, Vegas, Ft. Lauderdale, etc. for theirs. If it was a drivable distance and I didn’t have to take off work, I’d go, but I missed many of them and my friends were honestly kind of mad. I had an infant or toddler and a limited amount of PTO, most of which I used on my daughter when she was sick with constant ear infections the first two years of her life. If I had PTO days to actually use for fun, I wanted to spend them with my baby and my husband.
I got married back in 2009. We made a pact that we only spend cash on the wedding, not credit but cash only. I truly love how our wedding turned out. I’m listing some of the things we did. These may not all translate in 2024 but it definitely made a difference for us! I found my dress at David’s Bridal for $100, it was absolutely beautiful. The alternations were more than dress lol The guys wore black shirts and we bought them the ties We got married at a civic center and had the reception in the same place. It was so pretty and the tables, chairs, etc was all their We rented our linens I got my makeup done at the mall-I paid for the products and that was it! The photographer stayed all day, edited the pics, and we were responsible for printing the ones we wanted I found my cake maker online she was a home baker and omg the cake was beautiful and delicious
I got married in 2016. I DIYed a lot of my wedding. Mainly due to living in a rural area where there wasn’t a lot of options for different wedding services at the time. These are some things that I did. 1. I bought all my bridesmaids dresses (& shoes) at JC Penney’s and dyed them myself. We also paid for all of the groomsmen’s outfits and shoes. 2. No florist in the area locally that decorated for weddings, so we bought faux flowers at Dollar Tree & made our own bouquets, table bouquets, reception & ceremony floral decor. 3. We DIYed a wedding arch with tree branches from the park we were getting married in (also free) 4. Let family friends cater our reception that had their own restaurant business. They added their own touches by getting custom catering outfits that perfectly matched our decor and served everyone at the tables. It was such a special touch that I still remember. 5. Let in-laws who were getting into event planning pitch in and help decorate. They were a huge help. They made special details like folding napkins for the reception in an intricate way and helped with table arrangements. 6. Anyone that you know that has a skill in something, let them help you. Our wedding would have been a total disaster if it weren’t for the help that was extended to us 7. I didn’t have a bachelorette party. I just had a wedding shower and let a family member host it. 8. Did my own bridal makeup after learning some tutorials on YouTube and hired a girl fresh out of Cosmetology school to do my bridal hair.
Social media has made an industry of weddings rather than the joyful celebration of a couple celebrating a commitment to a lifetime commitment, it’s sad because who even believes what they’re seeing on social media anyway. Really enjoying the commentary articles with hot topics with things that need to be said
My husband and I got married to each other as a second marriage. We had a secret wedding the court house on our actual anniversary of our first date and 4 months later we hosted a garden cocktail party and invited our closest friends and family. They all thought they were attending an engagement party and announcement after being together for 6 years but we instead had a ring exchange and a fabulous party. Everyone was surprised and it was beautiful! We had 50 guests and I made most of the food. A friend of mine who owned a wonderful BBQ place provided meat and we had a bar. Lovely!
My husband and I eloped in a park with two close friends, then we went camping for the weekend! It’s been 3 years and I don’t regret it at all nor do I feel like I ‘missed out’ in anyway. Not everyone wants or can afford a big wedding so it’s great to see that getting normalized too. Loved this article btw 👏
I worked as a wedding photographer for quite a few years and I understand why they charge so much. There is a lot of back and forth emailing with planners or brides, consultations, there is usually a long drive to a wedding which takes gas, if it’s in the city it’s parking fees. You have to take so much equipment with you, back up cameras, lenses, lights, all kinds of batteries, memory cards etc…those things aren’t cheap, you also have to have insurance, also pay assistant or a second shooter per hour, and real editing doesn’t take “an afternoon”. If you want to do a quality editing, it takes a lot more than an afternoon to do. It takes culling, Clearing up skin, straightening verticals/horizontals, remove some objects, on top of editing with presets or actions to “your style”. You can’t just batch edit everything and think it looks good. Also taxes take up a lot too. So at the end of the day, out of $5000 a good chunk of change is gone and you make per hour good money, but it’s not that great considering all the time you spend per wedding. If you do an engagement shoot, and a wedding, you can easily spend 40 hours working with just one couple between all the emailing, consultations, driving, shoots, editing etc.
My husband and I got married at the New York Manhattan Bureau (more commonly referred to as “City Hall”) – it’s actually a very beautiful building in downtown Manhattan, and the vibes are filled with everyone who is so happy it’s also their special day! A downtown NYC open bar + a restaurant buyout for the evening for our reception, being careful to not mention “wedding”, came to about $20k. We enjoyed the “compromise” of being able to celebrate with friends and family but also not have to go through the whole logistics and expenses that weddings call for.
I planned my wedding on a budget and had a wonderful time! We kept it under 10,000 with 100 guests. A day to get down with my bad self and party with my family, we definitely did not have to go into debt for it and it was beautiful ❤. My hot take is that it matters to have your inner circle there to represent you in that initiation of the next chapter of your life. I agree that it is overpriced in the consumer world. But there are many creative ways to still have fun and respect the people who know, love, and raised you. That lifelong commitment is not meaningless and should be witnessed and acknowledged by your community.
I loved your take! Very balanced. Shelby if you are going to keep going on the wedding series, I’d love a deep dive on big engagements. The diamond ring is a fairly new expectation and there is a lot behind the mark up of the rings and how it was marketed to the general population as a way of proving your love to your fiancé. It’s a super interesting topic!
one thing i’ve always thought was such a HUGE contribution to cost of weddings are the venues. I got married in a community center gym for $700 and i was able to decorate and make it look more presentable and it honestly saved me thousands. We were getting quoted $5k-$10k for just the venues alone & you had to use whichever caterer they worked with which some people like but i personally did not. I liked the freedom of being able to choose & shop around for caterer/bartenders.
I like your commentary series 🙂 Lots of good stuff! I like how you are incorporating a lot of good material, article clips, statistics…The clip of the woman telling her friend about the trip to Greece was hysterical. And I think this is the first time you said shit on your main website. You are letting your personality shine differently. It is good 😀 I like the color themes you are using for the narrative, pinks, purples, pastels soft and calming. You are easy to look at and your voice is interesting, your lisp is good and holds the listeners attention. Like I said before, you are already used to speaking to the camera and you talk well in a smooth flow without blunders and stuttering. You can talk for a long time and continue to hold interest. Holding the mic is kind of funny. I like it. It is like so in the face. Like, “do you see my mic? This is the commentary series”. 😀 No! It is funny in a good way!! Is it heavy to hold for so long? No! it is good!! I’m just wondering. I saw you show the statistics for the commentary series vs others. I am happy for you. I think you should take this exact forum and copy it onto a podcast. Maybe you are seeing how it goes here first? PS I was thinking of changing my wardrobe to eliminate color and go all neutral. Seriously.
I’m so happy that you’re bringing awareness to these kinds of situations. You have all good points. Personally, my husband and I got married during Covid and had a backyard bbq themed wedding but rented out a VRBO (so we could stay and other friends & family) & it was a wedding themed but very low budget. Dress, food, decor, all lower budget. I think total we spent MAYBE 4k on a 50 person wedding and had help from family. We didn’t want to start our marriage in debt. We honestly didn’t even go on a honeymoon until a year or so after! We still hear from people that attended our wedding that it was one of the funnest yet. It was super laid back. We had music going, people were dancing or playing yard games and it was less stress. I will say, the day itself goes by SOOOO fast and honestly it is a stressful time… so if anyone wants to elope, do a budget wedding, or get married at their church then go for it! Or even if you want a big extravagant one, It’s your day and the people who really love and support you will be there and not judge. & from personal experience, I will say… the simpler… THE BETTER!
I was at a wedding you and Monica shot on Oct 12th 2019 (rather than mention whose wedding it was lol). It was the last time I saw my ride or die best friend of 15 years. We had such an amazing day. I didn’t know of course that it would be the last time we would see each other (there was a a lot of laugh-crying). So whenever I see your articles, you take me back to that day.
I am 100% the “no” wedding guest. I will spend the money the wedding would have cost me to attend on a gift for the couple, in order to not have to go, and sometimes that’s a lot. I declined my best friend’s destination wedding because frankly, I’m not spending my entire week of vacation for that summer on attending anyone’s wedding. — In general a lot of people seem to forget that getting married and having a wedding are not the same thing.
My fiancé and I are eloping on a mountain top in September. I did buy a wedding gown from a bridal shop and we booked an amazing photographer. We booked a cabin near the mountain and we booked a honeymoon cabin in the Southern part of WV. We are doing a a party the following weekend with our family and closest friends. We are not asking our parents for help, and we are saving for the elopement/party. It’s mind blowing to me that people are able to spend that much on a wedding when in reality, every person I’ve talked to regrets spending that much. They all say they would elope if they could go back in time.
I got married this past summer and looked hard into the tipping culture to make sure we were budgeting properly for it. Small business owners actually don’t require a tip. It’s appreciated but many of them say they’d rather get a review online. However, it is customary to tip say, your day-of coordinator, DJ, and florist delivery people. I happily skipped a bachelorette party and we did not do a bridal/groom party. We just had our siblings up at the alter with us! We also ordered batch flowers to save money and invited family over to help us make bouquets/centerpieces. We purposefully prioritized a pretty outside venue so we didn’t have to do as much decor, and got married in the town that my parents live in so that we could get help organizing from family. It turned out that afforded us some local discounts too 🙂
This was a great article! I agree – brides do need to think of their friends and their budgets, and be ok if a friend can’t make it or can’t do more. I had a best friend of over 10 years end our friendship because I forgot a greeting/wedding card for her wedding even though I had spent over $1600 that I didn’t have to be a bridesmaid at both weddings. I had just come out of unemployment and been at my new job for two weeks around the same time. Life is wild sometimes lol.
I also like the personal note written for each guest. I have attended a friends wedding once and I had to buy a suit which I only used once after the wedding for a youtube article. I don’t have much to say about weddings except that I would personally use the money for something else. Can understand the social pressure issues especially for women. But if it starts to cause financial strain then maybe it’s time to test how real that friendship really is.
I am loving this series and resonate with sooo much of what you are talking about!! Because I would be on the later side of getting married if/when I do-I’m currently in my early 30s- I don’t even know how many friends could make it from far away due to family/work obligations. (I don’t even have a partner, btw, just hypothetically). I love wedding pictures and articles so much and always cry perusal the articles. However, that wouldn’t be reason enough for me to spend so much for my own, or even reason enough to have a ceremony, period. My dream would be to have a casual gathering/ceremony in a park or other outdoor space, people could wear literally whatever they want, and we could have a potluck. I also don’t want a diamond. Ethically that would be a no from me. Otherwise I would be on board for the courthouse wedding and a casual gathering/party later on. They say “never say never,” but there is no way I am spending tens of thousands of dollars on one day to entertain people who ultimately wouldn’t care much about it. I would much rather spend the money on relationship coaching/therapy, or a house. (Plus about a hundred other things like donating to animal shelters, etc).
wedding registries are super weird (my now-husband and i lived together for 6 years before we got married); we just had a link/qr code for a honeymoon fund and we actually used the money for the honeymoon food & experiences and it was so great knowing that our friends/family helped make that happen for us. <3
I love that you spoke on the make up part, I’ve attended three weddings in the past year, and every single wedding that I’ve gone to the brides have done extravagant makeup looks and it doesn’t look like what they look like in person. I don’t understand the desire for it. Obviously I wouldn’t never tell the bride or anyone this and mean no disrespect as it’s not my wedding and I didn’t pay for it. Glad you talked about it though!
Fairly frequent wedding singer here. Small weddings make for FAR FAR happier couples IMO. (on the day, I mean). Ive played some massive weddings and often get asked to call last orders since I have a mic – the look on the brides face every time is one that shouts “ITS OVER ALREADY”?” Don’t spend your life savings on weddings folks. Its over in a flash.
I got married almost 5 years ago in a mountain town where I was a river rafting guide at a local brewery off the river. I totally lied to the venue and said the event was for a family reunion in an effort to save on costs, because I was so scared of being charged double for the venue when they heard the big “W” word. The manager of the brewery found out that wasn’t true when I showed up with my bridesmaid one day and tried to covertly start planning out how we were going to stage the space. Luckily when I was honest and explained that I was a broke local raft guide paying for the wedding and party myself, the brewery manager was super understanding and just asked that we let her use some of the wedding photos for marketing/promoting the venue. I was okay with that because they had a beautiful venue that was not being used for events at all, and there was definitely an opportunity for them as a business if they started being open to more events. I had a blast and kept the costs in check by taking a DIY approach to everything. It was super fun and truly the best party I’ve ever thrown. Me and my husband did it our own way, true to who we are and what we care about.
Good article. I have to say that one thing I don’t remember out of the weddings I have gone to is the center peace that is on each table. One thing couples could do is do their first wedding very cheap then do another one a few years later and spend what they want on their dream wedding if they can do it without debt.
Hi Shelby! As a wedding photographer I must say that we don’t give out RAWs not because it’s hard to send but rather it’s not our final product. Just like if something is not finished then it’s not done. When editing photos it does take a long time because there will be mulitple weddings or sessions so it gets stacked up. Also being a human we have to take care of ourselves and photography is our job. You are supporting a small bussiness and the person behind it. Photographers who are in the luxury wedding offer an unqiue experience. The price we put out gets taken out due to taxes. We don’t keep the full price but rather a percentage. Most of it goes to taxes sadly. Please be considerate on people who work behind the scence of weddings.
In my group of friends, contributing to to honeymoon fund has been the standard. This makes a lot more sense to me, given how much the wedding costs the bride and groom. I almost see it as an optional entrance fee for the wedding lol. It allows the couple to do something fun after the wedding or even put it towards a house or their future in some way. It makes a lot more sense to me than buying them some gift that they probably don’t need.
Me and my husband had always toyed with the idea of just going to Vegas to get married because we didn’t wanna spend on a wedding and literally on a whim decided to JUST DO IT, booked the trip to Vegas literally only a month before, told no one except our parents. We had a very intimate ceremony just the 2 of us and such a romantic fun weekend!! I am so glad we did it this way. We will say tho we do regret not planning it more in advanced so it could of given our parents the time to plan to join us but they were happy for us regardless ❤
I have so many thoughts. I’ve been a bridesmaid six times (4 of those were in the same year). I’m getting married this summer and feel like I have a good perspective. We are having a Friday wedding which was cheaper, told my bridesmaids to wear and shade of blue cocktail dress they want, and keeping the entire event understated and timeless. I lucked out with flowers because one of my students family’s owns a floral shop. My bachelorette we are staying in Miami, but our boat day my aunt is doing since she lives there. My whole outlook has been to keep it easy, stress free, and as inexpensive as possible for everyone. Keeping the focus on the love and relationships with people there to celebrate us!
My neighbor spent $250,000 on his daughter’s wedding two years ago which I thought was crazy and then I was talking to one of his friend’s shortly after and he actually said that was on the cheaper side and when his daughters get married it would be more like $350,000. The same neighbor also went to a wedding last year that was closer to $400,000. I don’t even understand how this is even real. These are Indian people for reference.
Weddings are crazy expensive. I got married in 2021 and had a “cheap” wedding – yet it still cost $20K. We were lucky enough to get to use a friend’s backyard for the venue and only had about 80 guests. I used my mom’s dress and had it redone for only $600 and did my own hair and makeup. We bought alcohol from Costco to save on open bar expenses. But food, chairs, a DJ, photos, etc still add up. It’s insane how much everything costs these days. My parents paid for everything and we were so lucky. If they had not, we probably would have eloped.
Planning my own wedding has made me realize how slimy the wedding industry/wedding vendors are. I’m in a local wedding facebook group and someone posted asking for any budget friendly (insert vendors here) and she got flamed for simply asking. And although some vendors did respond nicely and offered what they could, another vendor posted after saying that vendors who charge less for what they should be charging harm the industry and harm other vendors who are charging appropriately. In some ways, I get it. But for the most part, I just thought this all sounded so greedy.
This whole bachelorette party thing is completely out of control. One day, I will either just hang with my closest friends the evening before the wedding or be like „let’s go to the day spa and I’ll pay for it”. I have to attend a bachelorette party this year and I am SO happy it’s a one hour drive from where I live, it’s one night and we are four people splitting the cost so we should be fine. I don’t get how we got from „one evening before the wedding” to „let’s go on a whole ass holiday together”
As a wedding articlegrapher that’s full time.. there’s a big reason we charge so much, there’s only so many weekends in a year. And the main thing is, we spend so so many hours after the wedding that doesn’t compare to how long we are at a wedding. People also forget taxes as well. The amount they pay is not actually what we get. If we all only charged 3 grand a wedding there wouldn’t be many of us left. Some of us live in cold regions so a lot of our weddings are squeezed into one time of the year. It’s quite upsetting perusal people get angry at charging so much. It’s like people want us to struggle. Especially other vendors tearing them down. I would never judge a vendor if they charged 200$ to 100k a wedding. You don’t have to pay for that vendor that’s super expensive unless you want to. There’s millions of us to choose from. I charge 4,000 now, and I’m still on the edge on undercharging. I wish I charged more for 2024.
We didn’t register for anything. We were both in our 30’s and each had a home full of things to merge. We gave lots away and didn’t need more. We also didn’t do a lot of the traditional wedding things like garter/bouquet toss, certain dances, etc. We did do a micro wedding, which I loved, and we saved a lot of money but we still spent a ton.
My husband and I got married on a Monday and were able to get 50% off all the major bookings like venue, photographer, and DJ compared to a Saturday wedding. Plus, we were all still able to party and enjoy the night because it was the Monday of Thanksgiving week and people were off for the holiday week!
Me and my husband spent less than 1000$ on our wedding, initially we thought of booking a table at a restaurant, but since it was during Covid, because of the restrictions we could not do it, we ended booking an airbnb with a large table, had sushi for dinner and I have only the best memories. My friend was the photographer and when people see our wedding photos, many have said oh it looks like you spent a lot of money, when in reality we did not. I am happy that we managed to get married during that time, because many postponed their weddings, no regrets, still happily married.
Whenever I try to explain how much wedding vendors overcharge, this is the example I use: Where I live (big city) the price to board my dog ranges from $65-120 per night. Our venue gave us a list of wedding vendors they recommend, including a “wedding” pet sitter who changed $900! And that’s not for any pick up/ drop off. It’s just for perusal the dog overnight. Needless to say we went a different direction
I got married in May last year and paid under $10k for the whole thing including my flight and hotel because we did it at SF city hall. I thought it was perfect for photos and looks so extravagent, but for such a smaller cost. We were even able to have a full “walk down the aisle” ceremony there which was really nice. We took our guests to a nice restaurant afterwards and booked the top floor so it was nice and intimate and I think they all had a good time as well! I made a article about it actually on my page in case anyone’s interested but I highly recommend having a wedding there 🙂
When I bought my wedding dress, they asked for a tip, but I opted out. The tip was for the stylist who helped me. One thing I noticed at another shop where I didn’t buy my dress was that after my appointment, the front desk handed me a sheet of paper with all of their stylist’s venmo QR codes and pointed out which one was for my stylist. This was in LA, not sure if that matters. One thing to note too. It is DIFFICULT to find a bridal salon in LA that doesn’t charge $25-$50 to try on dresses. I live in MdR and I went to 7 salons that didn’t charge, but I had to travel as far out as Orange County to find places that didn’t charge. Almost all of the salons by me on the west side charged for an appointment (the only ones within 30 minutes of me were Grace Loves Lace and Anthropologie). I was bummed because there were a bunch of dresses in my price range that I saw online that I was dying to try on, but they were only being sold at salons that charged and I didn’t want to risk the money when I’m already spending so much for a wedding. $50 at each salon adds up quick! When I talk to my friends in the midwest, this doesn’t seem to be the case though. Maybe just a thing in HCOL cities?
Great article! I am getting married in August, After careful consideration, we decide to have a friend officiated our wedding and get married on our property (nothing exciting) without guests (except for 1), take a fabulous honeymoon and put the rest off the money (that we would have spent) on the home buying. The cost to entertain, photograph and feed everyone is crazy, so we selfishly decide to just make it truly about us LOL. We also have eliminated so much stress of planning. Some people love that planning, not me. We are truly making it about us with limited work, so we can actually enjoy being engaged and getting married. We have been spending time together camping, hiking, boating, tennis etc. (You get the point) on the weekends instead! Creating wonderful memories.
My husband and I had a larger wedding, and we both agreed that we did not want to be in wedding debt. Every vendor was paid in full with cash, not credit. Along with our honeymoon. I think whatever size wedding you want is your choice. And how much you spend is your business. But totally agreed to be going into debt over it, isn’t the best idea. It seems like weddings are much more expensive since the time we got married 12 Years ago.
I got married right out of college around the same time as a lot of my friends. I do wish I didn’t feel the pressure to have a “nice” wedding, but it was so hard when a lot of the guests would be the same. There was also a lot of pressure from our families to invite certain family members or close friends, so the wedding was large simply because of how many people we knew/how much family lived close by. If I could do it over again, I would have a smaller, more intimate wedding and not worry about what was expected of me. And for context, a lot of the people I know had “affordable” weddings for US standards, but they were considered expensive where we’re from.
As a Banquet Director for many years I planned my fair share of wedding events. Mostly rehearsal dinners as our venue was best at about 60-80 guests. Regarding the price hikes on wedding services… I think it is mostly a mental health tax for the one providing the service. We charged the same no matter the event but the stress level for me, during the planning of a rehearsal dinner was unreal. Especially because the rehearsal dinner was generally the ONLY thing the mother of the groom got to do or focus on during the lead-up to the actual wedding. The stories I could tell. My job, during the planning process was mostly as a mental health and stress management coordinator for the mother of the groom. Technically above my pay grade, although I did get very good at it over time. Prices for wedding services are through the roof, but I think a case can be made for a portion of those price hikes because this kind of event, a “once in a life time” kind of event brings with it a very special and unique set of circumstances, expectations and needs. Great article! Brought back a lot of memories. I think I need a Valium now!
I feel like everything is so over the top now. People who have five to six different parties or events related to a wedding are also the same ones who have multiple baby showers, gender reveals, big first birthday parties, etc. It is overwhelming for both those who have to plan and to those who are attending so many things.
We got married in a small town in Wisconsin. It was somewhat of a destination wedding for everyone so the day before we also had a welcome bbq. Pig roast and coolers of beer at a park with yard games. Best decision! Our budget was 12,000 for 110 people and the welcome party was 1200 and everyone loved it. It also took the pressure off us because we got two chances to talk with everyone
I feel like you can only charge what people are willing to spend. It’s kind of on the people who want to spend that much on a wedding. It’s not like one company has a monoplay on something and that’s why it cost so much. If you have gotten really good at something and people really want to work with you then you should be able to charge as much as someone is willing to spend on you and your skill and the years it’s taken to build it, no matter what industry or skill.
Because of covid we were forced to have a small wedding but I was actually relieved because I’m more introverted and like small group settings better – also it was great to not have to invite relatives we never see and pay $$$ for that. We had a small wedding and I DIYed table settings etc, got my dress from Davids Bridal (looked on Etsy too) -and they have beautiful dresses!! it was $600. We shopped around for the middle off the road priced vendors (Austin tx they charge!!) that were still good quality. Anyways all in all our small wedding still costed us $15k. It was within our budget (no parent help), and was absolutely my dream wedding and grateful we didn’t pay $30k+ just cuz of pressure to invite so many people. Also didn’t do bachelor/bachelorette cuz of covid and it really wasn’t a big deal? Hope everyone does what they truly want but not cuz of pressure ❤
I literally hate weddings and always respond with a no to any invitation. I find them cringe and too much to the point that they don’t feel fun at all and in my opinion a lot of people feel similarly but they feel pressured to go to weddings. I feel like weddings ALWAYS cause problems. I have friends and know people who argued so much over such unimportant things associated with the whole wedding thing that they stopped speaking, like what is the point?
From Mr. Reality Check: California has a 60 percent divorce rate . . . So enjoy spending money on those wedding photos and articles, with the understanding that ‘after you get divorced’ you will never show those photos and articles to anyone every again — and quite possibly, your EX may hate you more than any other person on planet earth . . . other than that, “Congratulations!” . . . . moreover, most young people will live to be over 100 years old (due to medical advances). Do you ‘really’ think you want to be with the same person for 100 years?
I did a destination wedding in Charleston on the beach with 10 people and loved it. I paid for an Airbnb for me and my friends, knowing they were already spending money to fly out to the wedding. They all flew in a couple days before so we had like a combined bachelorette and wedding. I would say I spent about $5-6k on the wedding and that includes my dress that was about $1k. I loved my dress though and that’s about what I figured I would spend. Only thing I would do different is allowing more time for photos. We were a bit rushed due to the dinner reservations I booked and my wedding package came with a certain amount of time with the photographer. My dad followed us around and took photos which some I liked better than the photographer. I didn’t get a lot with my friends because I was so focused on me and my husband getting photos and then it was a hot afternoon so my friends walked back to the house before the dinner. My sister made me a cute wedding article since she had just started Youtube and that was perfect for the memories. We then did a tent party a few months later at our house with local family and friends and some out of town extended family and that was really fun because my husband’s family handled most of the food and I just showed up. Plus I got to wear my dress twice! Agree on the bridesmaid dresses being so pricey. Also the last wedding I was a bridesmaid in, I paid for hotel nights for the bachelorette party and made a long drive for the bridal shower. In all I probably spent at least $1k on all the wedding events and wedding.
While I’ve given this topic a lot of thought before, something new came up for me in this article in relation to the bridesmaid dress discussion. I’m wondering for those who have been in sororities or other club/organizations like that, if you just get used to having to buy certain things and have a dress code for events that you kind of stop questioning it. When I was in a sorority, it felt like we were always having to dress a certain way for different events. Sometimes it was specific to the point of what color and type of shoes to wear, etc. So maybe if you come from that background and then your friends are all getting married, it can be normal to you to have to buy a dress, certain shoes/accessories and what not. I do think it would be better to be more flexible on things, maybe describe the theme and then give people the freedom to do their version of that. That’s kindof what I did for my bridesmaids.
I’m a wedding photographer: I never ask for tip – it’s not common in Switzerland – but I got 3 times a tip (30-50 CHF) from the bridal mum. I was really moved bc the mum said, it was so nice that I was hardly recognised that I’m making pictures and did not disturb the wedding at all 🙂 That is a compliment for me, really!!
We got married during COVID (the heat of lockdowns) and I’m honestly so glad. We ended up making money off of our wedding due to not having to pay for a venue, dress, etc. We still had a family celebration and I bought a thrifted dress s friend shopped for me out of state (all our stores in town were shut down for weeks). Sure having all the bells and whistles SOUND nice, but it was the best thing that could have happened financially for us. Plus…marriage is still marriage whether it’s just you two + witness or hundreds of guests!
So as a bride who just wants money for the honey moon, both me and my friend whose getting married this year were told we better make a registry or people would buy us gifts anyway but wouldn’t know what we wanted. But if you already have a house or apartment like most people do when they get married the only things you can put on the list are either upgrades to things you have or expensive things you havent been able to buy for yourself but want.
As a DJ that has worked many (100+) weddings for over a decade I can say, me DJing a wedding is not the same thing as Djing a backyard party. It be similar to saying a preseason football game is the same as a super bowl, sure some of the same components, however, expectations and pressure are much different. I could get into the requirements, the cost of quality equipment, the skills, the backups, insurance, taxes, hours of time not seen in preparation, and the years of experience but I’ll leave it at that for now. As to the tipping, it’s not required. It does however let the service provider know you think they did a great job. Again if I’m doing service for a backyard bbq, the expectation is different than when I’m doing a $100,000 wedding. Just like the expectation for a tip would be different eating at Denny’s vs a very high end restaurant. The last thing I will say for now is that I’ve had several consults with couples who said I was too expensive and they were going with a cheaper option, only to have them call me a week before the wedding to tell me that cheaper option dropped out and they were scrambling to find a replacement. I wanted to keep things short, so I’ll keep it there for now.
We had a micro wedding with only 16 guests at a boutique hotel on Sunny Isles Beach. Here was the breakdown: $160 a head plus $1,200 that included the food, a champagne toast, wine, the tables and linens (including set up), the officiant, some florals (the bouquet, 2 center pieces, and floral on the wedding arch they included, set up of the ceremony area in front of the Beach including chairs, as well as 2 hours of photography (paid for 2 extra hours as well, cant rememver the price but not bad). I paid $250 for a performer to come and sing after dinner, $100 for a violinist during the ceremony. I did splurge on a celebrity hair stylist, it was $750 plus tip. I did my own makeup so free. The dress was $1,000. The engagement pictures were under $300. The cake was from Nothing Bundt cakes, I think around or under $75. I didn’t have a wedding party which also saved costs. The shoes were $30. We paid about $500 for a custom suit from men’s warehouse. I bought decorations from Lings moments and Amazon, spent around $300. I paid for a month of planner/day of coordinator, $1,200. The invitations and thank notes were under $100 I made on Vista print I think it was. I also bought a second dress that was $250 and the engagement pictures dress was $200. 1 night stay was included from the hotel but we paid for an extra day which as $700. I’m probably missing some things but it was about 12k for the whole thing. It wasn’t cheap but it also wasn’t near the average price people spent on weddings.
Well, I have a lot of mixed emotions with this article. I feel that Shelby is a very DIY type pf person. I don’t think a bride will take their time to do a bouquet for themselves the day before the wedding. The flowers need to be fresh ETC. also when it comes to a wedding articlegrapher or photographer and the day rate that is completely inaccurate, normally photographers and articlegrapher not only work for 1 day. A lot spend days going to meetings or phone article calls with the couple to come out with a nice timeline, culling the footage and editing. The day of the wedding normally a professional photographer will bring a second photographer same for articlegraphers. Also you forgot to add the cost of doing a wedding from gas, storage (ssd), computer, normally you need 2 cameras, lenses, sd cards, tripods, lighting, microphones,batteries, gimbals, audio recorders, music licensing, editing software, website hosting, gallery delivery services, second shooter, CRM and on top of that taxes. That for me makes the difference between a professional vendor and just a friend who has a camera. 😅
Personally as a photographer I don’t see an issue with charging for RAWs. Honestly I would be completely giving one my raw images so I wouldn’t make that option and would probably say no. When you choose a photographer you are also choosing their style and it’s insulting to have someone request something half baked so they can do it themselves. I also wouldn’t want my name attached to a version of my images that I didn’t edit with no control over the outcome.
I’m getting married this year and it’s a destination wedding, so to offset the cost, we are doing 1) NO GIFTS! we’ve been living together for 4 years… 2) no wedding party, so no bridesmaid dresses, no added expenses for them 3) no bachelor/bachelorette parties 4) encouraging people to spend the weekend if they can bc it’s a vacation spot, and planning activities outside of the actual wedding to facilitate time with our guests since they are going so far out of their way to join us.
As a divorcee who’s first marriage was an elopement when I wanted a wedding. I will 💯 be having a wedding but it will b small and on a budget. And only because I really want the memories with our parents and grandparents. I don’t need a giant party where everyone just drinks. I want the memories with family.
wow my sister literraly had a wedding on march 9 for less than 5,000 including the dress!!! my family all pitched in to buy the cake, make the food, make the beverages, as members of the church we used the church as the reception. my sister spent 2,000 for the wedding dress and besides spending on the servers and waiters we were no were near the pricepoint the most people pay.
Great article. I have some thoughts. Haha 1. As someone who is an elder millennial and isn’t married, I have definitely decided if I ever get married, and people want to give me gifts, I will just ask them to donate to my favorite charity (like an animal rescue). 2. My favorite wedding ever was incredibly small and the reception was held in the party room of a nice restaurant. Wedding was traditional in a church but the small size was everything. 3. Would like your thoughts on people asking for monetary contributions to the overall wedding instead of gifts?
When my husband, and I decided to get married we went to a local church and we were married by the clergy..We actually left work that day and got married and then told our families that we were hitched afterwards..We decided to keep it simple because we wanted to spend our money on our amazing honeymoon and honestly I have no regrets.. My sister-in-law took our casual pics in my mother-in-law’s beautiful garden ..I weighed my options and a fun packed honeymoon in Mexico won the debate..😎
another hot take for sure would be, who is invited to the weddings. I know on my end, in our culture it is VERY common to invite acquaintances as well as your parents getting to invite their friends even if you don’t know them that well. it was definitely a topic of discussion when i got married. Also the no kids at weddings, this was frowned upon by my parents, but I love no kid weddings, not sure if other cultures care about that or not?
I’m sad to say I agree with everything you said in this article. I lost two friendships (“friends”) because I was unable to afford the cost of being a bridesmaid (dress, hair, makeup, shoes), going out of town for the stagette (hotel, transport, food, drinks, and brides costs), going out of town for the wedding (again hotel, transport, food, drinks etc), and also gifts for all those events. Though I couldn’t attend ALL of the events, I said I would like to attend the wedding and be there to witness their union. But turns out, they both preferred I go into debt and attend all the events or not show up at all. Our 14 year “friendship” was completely forgotten. I was heartbroken that they placed more value on money than…me.
My wedding secret is use what you have. As a former music student, I had a lot of friends who are skilled musicians. I asked them to play a short set at the reception instead of getting us a wedding gift and everyone loved it! I skimped on areas like flowers and made an imitation bouquet myself using flowers from Michaels (and saved using their coupon!)
Got married in Hawaii. I had 8 ppl total, including me and my husband. Got my “white maxi dress” online for $69. I had a limo pick us up from the hotel, to the outdoor location. Then champagne and a cake in the limo. Then they brought us to the restaurant. I had a photographer, articlegrapher and a drone. I couldn’t imagine anything better. The total cost was under $5.500. 😊
I’ve always wanted a chill wedding and it worked out great cause to everyone who was questioning us we were like “but we have a baby!”. We hired my sister’s friend who took amazing pictures and had a professional camera and she charged us the equivalent of 150-200 dollars. She sent me the link to a couple dozen photos at midnight… right as the party was closing off. I’m not kidding. Same day. We chose a restaurant that didn’t specialize in weddings cause it was a bit too small for a traditional wedding, but for us it was perfect (about 70 people attended). It was train themed, and I love trains so I was happy with that. We payed the equivalent of like 4000 dollars for food and drinks. I still have the receipt behind our framed picture and sometimes I look at it to remind myself how lucky we got…. even though I really don’t have fond memories of that day. A week before I was carrying the stroller with my son in it down the stairs and I got sciatica that did not go away for two weeks, so I was limping throughout the whole day. In the night after I was in such pain that I moaned for like fifteen minutes trying to turn myself around from one side to another in bed 😂 the people in the neighboring rooms probably thought we were having post-wedding day fun and it was just me being unwell 😂 The only thing besides that that I’d change would be the choice of a wedding dress. I bought it cheaply online for like 80 dollars and it was fine, but not great. I ordered a veil cape that pinned to my shoulders and that kinda saved it.
Not engaged yet but my man were throwing around ideas. I’d honestly be okay with finding a dress online for a few hundred, going to the court house and then having a small party I remember seeing a couple who had their reception at an arcade and I thought that was so cool I see a few people in these comments saying they had a taco truck for their after party and I like that too I care more about having a nice ring, a gorgeous honeymoon. And save the rest for a bigger home
Good thing I dont have a lot of friends …..That sounds like a hassle to go to bachelorette parties out of state out of country. The only wedding I’ve been in was my sisters and it was in town in state, so that was easy enough. As for my own future wedding I would not go out of state or country think of others, but not everyone does
I got married this past summer and I had a wedding. I chose to have one cheaply but still included things I’ve dreamed of my entire life. A huge thing for me is I’m 35 and I watched all my friends get married in their early 20s. So having a wedding was something I’d waited for for a very long time. We also chose to have a gift registry because we had so many items that needed replacing and we are not very financially well off so we were very thankful to get gifts. But we also didn’t ask for super expensive items either. Overall, the wedding was worth it to me. The only things I regret are not ordering my dress in a bigger size cause I sadly gained weight before my wedding due to medication making the dress not look ideal, I regret the hotel I chose. Way too expensive for legit a very negative experience, and the hair and makeup lady I hired bailed. But that’s another story. I don’t regret having a wedding, but I’m very glad I chose to do it cheaply and didn’t just get everything I wanted for the one day. It goes by so fast!
You think practical. That’s awesome. JMO, it’s fine to enjoy your day, theoretically it’s their one shot at a big party for their (insert amount of guests here) closest friends/family. My boss has three daughters. I know he put on quite a a party at each one. Fine, he’s the VP of a company and a certain amount of “impress the town” is expected. The jury is still out with me on this subject. I say follow your conscience on this. By all means enjoy the day, but what amount of $$ does it really take to…
i got married at 20, in 2012, and I didn’t have a lot of money, we spent about 6000$ total (some gifted, the rest was our own savings). I made my own cupcakes, and made our own food. For the boys, my husband and I had the boys pay for their shirts (grey) and wear some black dress pants (hopefully they had some already, but if they didn’t a black dress pant wasn’t a one time use thankfully) and we bought pink ties for them, and had them wear whatever shoes they are comfortable in (preferably black but overall didn’t care). For the girls, I had them buy their dress – I found the cheapest ones I could – 80$ – pink – they would never wear them again, the gift i got for them for standing up for me was, i did the alterations on the dresses for them, i bought them shoes, and earings, my sister did all of our make up (there were 5 of us) and I did all of the girls hair, I only paid someone to do my hair. I hated asking my people paying so much for things that isn’t for them, its for me. So i took on the burden, which also made me not pay so much for things because now i had to buy 4 copies. My bachelorette party was going to Boston pizza with my friends (i paid for my own meal) and whoever wanted to come back to the house to watch a movie and play games could. it was sooo simple, and i was not stressed at all, even though i had more things to do in the morning of my wedding than most. And i look at what other people spend on their weddings and bachelorette parties, and i just feel so sad for them, they are stressed the whole day making sure things are perfect, that they don’t take the time to remember the moments because it is so extravagant.
I am getting married this summer and we are taking our immediate family to the mountains for a small ceremony. I hired a photographer JUST for this, about 2 hours of her time. In the early evening we rented out a brewery to have our friends and family come hang out with us and celebrate for a few hours. The place we rented is being beyond understanding that we are just hosting a hang out rather than “getting married” there and they didn’t hike up their prices. We are so lucky. We are on the right track to spend around 11K all in with rings, dress, suit and any little things! Im hoping to do a article after my wedding to break down all the actual costs in the summer!
Years ago I went to a wedding and my friend wanted blue, so I got this Vince Camuto wrap dress for like $150, I thought it was a lot but oh boy, I’ve wear the 💩 out of it with heels, sandals, tennis shoes to all kind of events, I have over 60 dresses and that one is the most versatile and used dress of all
Weddings are crazy. My sister’s friend couldn’t go on vacations with her husband and kids last summer because they spent thousands of dollars on putting her husband and son in her brother’s wedding. The dress code was also beyond strict. Her dress had to be okayed and she wasn’t even in the wedding. The pictures were beautiful and her sons looked adorable in their tuxes. There is a definite cost for the fun though.
We always collaborate with the guests for the honeymoon fund or a trip that the couple wants to go to. Every guest puts as much moneyas they can afford in the box on the wedding day and later that day its given to the couple with a card. Its way more usefull then all the stuff they already have and own .
I’m from the Mississippi Delta where large (and now extremely expensive) weddings are expected – if you don’t invite your whole church, your grandma’s whole church, and your dad’s 3rd grade teacher, people get OFFENDED. My husband isn’t from the Delta and is not a big social person, and I didn’t want our wedding day to be the most stressful day of his life. We could have had a destination wedding, but I really wanted to get married in the church I grew up in. To avoid scandal, we made it super clear to everyone that the wedding was going to be family and close friends of the couple only, and we had a large engagement party a few months before the wedding that everyone who wasn’t invited to the wedding was included in. I think 30 people came together to throw the party (cover expenses, set up, etc), and it was at the home of one of my dearest friends who is like another grandmother to me (she was invited to the wedding also!). About 350 people were invited and I think almost 200 were able to come. The party was so fun, but it definitely made me glad our wedding day wouldn’t be anything like it – I spent half the night introducing my husband to tons of people that hold a special place in my life because I’m from a small community, but realistically he’ll never see again. Our wedding day was just the people closest to us and ended up being around 45 people and it was really one of the best nights of our lives. My parents gave us a budget with the agreement that anything we didn’t spend we could keep, and we ended up with $1500 left.
Hey Shelby! I have run a business in the wedding industry for over 10 years. I’m also planning my own wedding, so I know both sides. I would love to get in touch and collaborate on a follow-up article about this. The wedding world has gotten out of control. I’m not even my own ideal client. I couldn’t afford myself. It’s crazy.
My boyfriend has to attend a bachelor party they told him 3 months ahead of time it’s literally in the middle of nowhere (the bachelor wants to camp near Yellowstone), he’s from Ohio so it’s not like he has family or friends there and he lives in San Diego. The problem here is I had a vacation planned for the last two years to go to Salem this fall and because of the bachelor party my boyfriend has pulled out of going on the vacation with me since he can’t afford to do both. I’m still going to Salem but by myself now. His mom has encouraged me to try to either move my trip until next year because of it or cancel all together. I actually find it incredibly rude to ask people who might not have the money or might have other plans to pay for something like this. He obligated to go because it close family friends. I’m just pissed off the a two year plan has to be cancelled by him for someone’s bachelor party. The more I see this couple do for there wedding the more it makes me not really want to have one. I kinda just want to elope and then spend the money on a honeymoon. Something really simple with no big parties.
We went from expensive golf course wedding (neither wanted it and we backed out before paying the deposit) to a backyard ceremony, brewery reception and karaoke after party. What would’ve been an $18-20k wedding is now a $10-12k wedding and we’re so much happier! (Wedding tax is real and insane in my part of Canada)
Love this! My husband and I married in 2002. We opted for a Friday evening wedding as it was HALF the cost of Sat/Sun. We were on a budget and it was an easy way to save… especially on the venue/food. I remember my mom saying “people may not come bc it’s a Friday wedding” my response was they will know well in advance the day/time and if they want to be there, they will! Wedding costs these days are out of control.