Wedding favors are no longer an obligatory ritual, but they can still be a fun way to thank guests for attending a wedding. Some favors include hangover kits, honey graham crackers, chocolate bars, and marshmallows. However, there is no etiquette requirement for guests to be given favors, so the choice is entirely up to the couple.
There are various options for wedding favors, such as transparent favor boxes, winter favor labels, honey graham crackers, chocolate bars, and marshmallows. Some favors are fun and memorable, while others are more practical and cost-effective. Some couples still make wedding favors a big part of their wedding day, while others choose to enjoy the night making memories with guests instead.
In 2022, some couples still make wedding favors a big part of their wedding day, while others forgo it altogether to enjoy the night. While etiquette suggests favors, practicality often leads to a lack of favors.
The Knot reports that the practice of giving wedding favors has decreased by 21% over the past five years. While there is no etiquette requirement for guests to be given favors, the choice is entirely up to the couple.
In conclusion, wedding favors are an optional expense that can be a fun way to thank guests for attending a wedding. However, it is essential to consider the pros and cons of each option before making a decision.
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What is a normal amount to spend on wedding favors?
Most couples spend about $2 to $3 on each wedding favor. A bride and groom should consider their budget and guest list when setting a price. Couples with big weddings spend less per person on favors or else the total cost might be over several hundred dollars. Couples on a tight budget usually spend less on wedding favors.
POPULAR WEDDING FAVORS (AND THEIR TRENDIER ALTERNATIVES)
Budget-friendly favors can be just as meaningful as more expensive ones. If you want to save money, make your own favors. Some popular options include candy-filled mason jars, personalized coasters, an assortment of tea bags, and handmade soaps. Not crafty? Give your guests something to eat!
Do you really need wedding favours?
Is it rude not to have wedding favors? Many brides worry that not having wedding favors is rude. You don’t have to have wedding favors. Most wedding guests won’t care about wedding favors. Some people will leave them behind anyway. If you don’t offer them, most won’t notice. It’s up to you whether to have wedding favors. If you have a great idea for wedding favors that fits your theme and budget, go for it. Don’t feel pressured to have them. Tell guests you saved money on wedding favors and used it for an open bar. Tips for choosing wedding favors. Wedding favors should be things you can use or eat. This could be a mini alcohol bottle, a small baked good, or a homemade candle. But guests don’t want clutter. If your guests can’t use your wedding favor easily, it’s time to plan again. Another tip for wedding favors is to make them multipurpose. Use them as decorations or name place cards on your table. Handwritten place cards with a small chocolate coin are a simple, effective wedding favor that won’t cost much.
Are party favors still a thing?
A: Some parents are surprised that they’re giving gifts to guests at a party. Party favors are not necessary. You don’t have to give party favors. Some hosts give a small gift with their thank you, while others go all out with a themed favor. As a host, do what feels right. One word of advice on favors. Parents complain about the junky favors that end up all over the floor. If you’re giving something, make it fun, edible, or useful. You can find a useful pencil and eraser set or a decorated sugar cookie for the same price. Q: When is it OK to drop off your child at a party? A: This is tricky. I would never drop off a child under 6 unless the host says it’s ok. Younger kids can be harder to manage in a group. Wait for the parent to say it’s ok to leave. Don’t assume you can drop off your young child without checking.
What age do you stop party favors?
You decide whether to give out goody bags. If you give them out, make sure to include something for everyone! There’s no set age to stop giving out goody bags. It depends on the person, the situation, and the recipients.
The Benefits of Buying Pre-filled Goody Bags. If you’re short on time or creativity, buy pre-filled goody bags. This is a good option if you don’t know what to put in the bags or want to save time. Hiring someone to put together your goody bags can also be a great option if you want a unique touch. This is a great way to support small businesses and get unique items for your goody bags!
Is it customary to do wedding favors?
You don’t have to give wedding favors. If it’s too expensive or not your style, you can skip this tradition. The type of favor you give will affect this. If you’re giving edible wedding favors, don’t make them too far in advance or they’ll spoil. For favors like candles or soaps, you can keep them ready about a week in advance. No. Guests are there to celebrate with you. Wedding favors aren’t expected, so guests won’t be looking forward to them. Some cultures follow the “ladies first” rule, while others have the groom’s name first. It’s up to the couple.
Is it OK to not do wedding favors?
Don’t choose a favorite out of obligation. Choose a favor out of obligation. You don’t have to have wedding favors. If you don’t want them, don’t get them. Instead, spend the money on things guests will enjoy, like a photo booth, entertainment, better food or an open bar.
Do: Write a personal message. Add a personal note from you and your fiancé. Write a heartfelt message to your guests. Our Bride and Groom Petite Caramel Apple 12-Pack can be customized with a message on each ribbon. If you don’t give favors, a note at each place setting is a nice way to thank guests. Don’t: Make your own edible favors. If you’re thinking of choosing edible favors, leave it to the professionals. Hand-painted cookies, chocolates, and cake pops are time-consuming and difficult to make. Make edible favors no earlier than the week of your wedding. You’ll be busy with other preparations. It’s better to order from a bakery or buy from Mrs. Prindables.
Is it OK to not give party favors?
A: Some parents are surprised that they’re giving gifts to guests at a party. Party favors are not necessary. You don’t have to give party favors. Some hosts give a small gift with their thank you, while others go all out with a themed favor. As a host, do what feels right. One word of advice on favors. Parents complain about the junky favors that end up all over the floor. If you’re giving something, make it fun, edible, or useful. You can find a useful pencil and eraser set or a decorated sugar cookie for the same price. Q: When is it OK to drop off your child at a party? A: This is tricky. I would never drop off a child under 6 unless the host says it’s ok. Younger kids can be harder to manage in a group. Wait for the parent to say it’s ok to leave. Don’t assume you can drop off your young child without checking.
Is it rude to not have party favors?
A: Some parents are surprised that they’re giving gifts to guests at a party. Party favors are not necessary. You don’t have to give party favors. Some hosts give a small gift with their thank you, while others go all out with a themed favor. As a host, do what feels right. One word of advice on favors. Parents complain about the junky favors that end up all over the floor. If you’re giving something, make it fun, edible, or useful. You can find a useful pencil and eraser set or a decorated sugar cookie for the same price. Q: When is it OK to drop off your child at a party? A: This is tricky. I would never drop off a child under 6 unless the host says it’s ok. Younger kids can be harder to manage in a group. Wait for the parent to say it’s ok to leave. Don’t assume you can drop off your young child without checking.
How many favors do you need for 100 guests?
How many favors do you need per guest? How many favors should you buy for a wedding? One favor per guest is enough, no matter the budget. Some couples give out more than one favor, but there’s really no need. Your guests won’t expect it. Many couples are choosing not to give favors because they are eco-conscious. Wedding favors are a great way to reduce your carbon footprint and be more eco-conscious, says McDonough. Also, how many hours did that couple spend tying ribbons and tags only for them to end up in the landfill? Instead, you could give something edible or donate to charity instead of wedding favors. What do you do with extra wedding favors? Hopefully, we’ve given you a better idea of how many party favors you need for a wedding. If you have extras, consider these ideas:
Who pays for wedding favors?
Parents of the bride and groom often split the costs of food, drinks, wedding favors, and rehearsal dinners. Some prefer to give a lump sum for all expenses. Let them make a proposal they are comfortable with. Who pays for the wedding? Many wedding traditions have changed. But many families still follow traditional rules about who pays for what at weddings. Here are a few long-time traditions still followed today:
Brides dress and accessories; Invitations and wedding announcements; Wedding planner; Decorations at church and reception; All flowers; Music for ceremony and reception; Photographer and videographer; Wedding guest favors; Food, drinks, cups and napkins at reception.
Are wedding favours outdated?
Should wedding favors be provided? Wedding favors aren’t necessary, and the couple might spend too much on items guests won’t use. Many couples have decided to skip wedding favors because they’re a waste of money. It’s your day, your way.
Choose the right wedding favor if you want to keep this tradition. Here are some ideas for wedding favors:
Wedding Favor Ideas – Get Baking. If you’re creative, make your own wedding favors. Make a cake decorating party with your wedding party. Make cupcakes for each guest and wrap them in cellophane bags tied with ribbon.
Is $400 too much for a wedding gift?
Experts say to start at $100. You may want to adjust your gift by up to $500 based on your relationship with the couple, your budget, and the cost of attending the wedding.
📹 GUESTS HATE These 6 Things
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About the Guest book! I went to my cousins wedding where at every table there was a card and an enveloppe for each table to write a message to the Bride and Groom, someone came round the tables collecting them for the parents of the bride to send out to them through out the year. I thought that was an original and lovely idea. They placed the cards amongst their wedding photo album.
I completely agree with all of these things. Although I did sort of an “after wedding” favor. I waited until after my pictures came in to send out thank you cards and I printed out pictures that my photographer took of my guests and/or their families and then sent those with the thank you cards. Realistically most guests don’t want a picture of me and my husband but they would want one of their own family. I received a ton on thanks from my guests for the pics. Also, I love going to wedding for dancing but I’m really there for the cake. A coworker of mine says that she judges the ability of a marriage to last based on how good the cake is!! 😂😂
I haven’t been to many weddings in my life but to the ones I have, these are what really help make a wedding really magnificent; 1) Food 2) Music 3) Seating 4) Space for if you want to walk around or be alone 5) Lighting 6) Keeping the speeches short and sweet 7) Welcoming atmosphere when you enter and thanks when you leave
My best friend didn’t print off programs for her and her husband’s wedding last week and I actually heard a handful of people say they’d enjoy having a program to see who everyone in the bridal party was. Also, a tip on slideshows, have them rolling on a screen during the reception. But don’t do a formal showing and say “now we’re going to watch the slideshow.” Guests who want to watch the pictures will pay attention and those who aren’t interested won’t have to sit through it after sitting through the ceremony.
On the bouquet toss, my friend is going comical. Sometimes, brides have an extra bouquet to throw, in German, that’s a Wurfstrauß (throwing bouquet). Instead of that, she is going to throw a stuffed animal ostrich with a veil on it, becaaause, in German “Strauß” also means ostrich, so a Wurfstrauß can also be a throwing ostrich 😁
I’ve literally been to a wedding every year since I turned 18 and I’ve enjoyed every slide show! I’m just one person though, so maybe the majority doesn’t actually care too much for it. In my experience people have enjoyed seeing how the couple grew and found each other. Heck, the smallest wedding was a party of 50, shabby chic motif, and they hung several strings of significant photos on a fancy clothes line. That’s practically a slide show, lol!
I’ve been djing weddings for 15 years and I agree on these. The bouquet toss can be used to open up the dance floor. I always suggest to place it before we actually open the dance floor. I always suggest once we open the dance floor to not have any other events. I work on building the energy slowly throughout social hour, dinner, etc. It’s so difficult to get anything else going after that. Anyway, Blah blah, Great article thank you very much!
I just got married yesterday and I am proud to say that I followed all of your rules except for one, open seating. Which I will say, we should have done. But the rest was absolutely magical and being simple about things really took a lot of stress off my plate. From one bride to another, take these recommendations!! 💜
The one I just really don’t care about? An outdoor wedding in the Summer! Just have it indoors and take your pics outside if it’s that important. Your guests will hate you if you have an outdoor wedding when its 100 degrees outside, especially since they have to pay for a nice outfit just to soak it in sweat.
Theres a difference between things guests dont care about and what bothered guests. When your guests leave your wedding you want them to leave with an overall feeling of a great time remarking how beautiful everything was. Favors increase the look of the table and certain implemented personalized ideas at your wedding contribute to the overall feel. Just dont bore or annoy your guests. If you make your wedding too plain they will notice that and definitely compare your wedding to theirs or someone’s else’s. Find the balance.
Seriously, the only wedding favors I have ever enjoyed were food ones or the set of glasses we were given at one wedding which are actually very nice, but as I told people giving away these favors, people are ready to go after a long night of partying and dancing, or being in the wedding…they aren’t going to go back and retrieve the homemade honey jar that won’t fit in their clutch or walk additional steps on tired feet to locate the box with copies of your wedding digital playlist. Guests care about your love, food, good music/good vibes, and if they are comfortable enough to enjoy themselves (not too hot/cold/mosquitoes everywhere). You have those things, and you’re pretty much set.
The best wedding I’ve ever been to was my cousin’s wedding. Everything was literally God’s timing. Her fiancé was from brazil and he got his fiancé visa 4 days before the wedding, but everyone had faith that everything would work out and it did! Nothing was left out, nothing was forgotten, and all but one favor was taken home! The favors were acrylic coasters with everyone’s name on it. It was used as a seat holder. There were 11 round tables that sat 8 each, there were about 80 guests total. Family got table 1, close family/friends got to choose any of the next 4 tables, and everyone else sat anywhere else, it was open seating but still allowed everyone to sit wherever. Programs were passed out because during their unity ceremony everyone sang a song over them. It was beautiful, I cried. I was the second hand to the friend who acted as the coordinator, and I could probably do the day-of coordinating as a job.
Wedding invitations were one of the most important parts to me, just because I love pretty paper things lol. I really wanted a pretty invitation for my own memories. If my guests throw them away, I’m not upset, they don’t need to hoard my memories forever. I think the invitation also really helped me solidify the theme/aesthetic at the beginning too.
I totally agree with you on the wedding cake thing! We were at a wedding a few years ago, where instead of that big gigantic cake, the couple had chosen different kinds of desserts so that their guests could choose what they would like to have… It was a success 😊 There were different types of cakes, miniature cupcakes, cookies, ice creams, chocolates, etc. 😋😊 Greetings from Denmark 🇩🇰
Omg this is so helpful. I so do NOT want to do a bouquet toss, a slideshow, or even the dances with parents (my dad passed last year and who wants to cry?!) so I was worried about opting out of those. I feel much better now. You’re so right, too much of that is just boring for guests. Thanks so much!
We did wedding programs, we had the “Traditional parts”, people’s names involved in ceremony but added some fun things we wanted. A word find, crossword puzzle, coloring page, guessing game “who did it?” (We put some of the crazy stuff we did and guests had to figure out which of us did it. We had them at the door when guests came in, along with crayons and pencils. It was big hit and filled in time when getting pics taken. We printed them at Staples on plain paper and it was very cheap.
When you said that you may or may not have 5 of those succulent favors at your house, I automatically looked behind at the pots behind you to check if they’re the succulents! Now I must convince my fiance to not have wedding favors anymore as they seem to be only a waste of money. And he wants succlents as favors! Thank you!
We had a tiered wedding cake, but it was a mint chocolate mousse cake. Everyone raved about it and when we went to get another sliver, that tiers had been scraped clean 😀 Also, we had fudge as favours and while we hoped that some would be left over (so we could take it home and enjoy), all of the guests either ate it at the reception, or took it with them, as none was left over on the tables at the end of the night.
We went to a wedding where they had these candy filled plastic heart favors. We took 2 home and couldn’t figure out how to open them. My boyfriend said, “I guess we’ll have to break their hearts to get the candy.” … 5 years later and those favors are still sealed and collecting dust on a shelf because we couldn’t bring ourselves to break their hearts after such a lovely wedding.😬🤣
The thing about open seating really surprised me. I’ve never been to a wedding with a seating plan in my life. It’s not a thing in my country. I don’t want to be told who I can and can’t sit next to and make forced akward small talk with people I don’t know. Pretty much every wedding here has enough tables and chairs so that it doesn’t matter if five people fill up a table of eight. Also, a lot of the weddings I’ve been to haven’t even had a formal diner. just buffet or bbq, or little snacks that are served out, and people just stand to eat with bar height tables, or just find a place to sit somewhere, stand up to get a second helping of food, and go back to sit somewhere else. Not forced, no nameplats and seating charts, just fun and enough room for everybody.
TOTALLY agree about the open seating! It’s especially anxiety triggering when you go to a wedding alone 😭 I went to a wedding once and knew NO ONE and I ended up feeling so awkward because I just found a random seat at a table with a bunch of people & I had nothing to talk to about 😂😂 I totally wished there was some sort of seating chart, at least I could have sat with people my age.
This is so valid from both perspectives. As a wedding guest im just honored to be invited. I dont care where it is when it is what i have to wear or whats for dinner. I just wanna watch you be married. Im not talkative or a dancing guest but ill be so happy to be there. As a bride though i don’t want anyone to feel bored even though someone will inevitably be bored. I want options for entertainment. I want plated dinner with self serve station appetizers and passed around appetizers. I want place cards so someone can reserve a seat at their designated table and then get up and see other guests. I want games for kids and a dj who interacts with everyone and is having fun. I want lots of food options for every dietary restriction and taste. But mostly i just wanna stare at my husband all dressed up and looking like a snack
I’m planning my wedding in less than 7 months on too of being a full time student, working a part time job in a long distance relationship during COVID and at first I was feeling so overwhelmed but perusal your articles late night while I flip through my wedding binder has seriously eased my heart so much. THANK YOU so much for posting these articles and sharing them with the world! New subscriber here!!!!! 💕🙏🏼
For the wedding cake: in Arab weddings, food and cake are so important taste-wise. Of course people like looking at it, but the taste is super important. So for the weddings Ive been too, most of them have beautifully decorated cakes, but taste was the priority. So the decorations werent fondant, edible glitter, or dense icing. It was mostly lighter, whipped frosting, jams, and cute piped decorations. That way its pretty AND edible 😂
Fun little idea for anyone that wants a form of a guest book but not spend the money. Get your favorite engagement photo matted and leave some nice sharpies out and let your guests sign around the photo! Looks really cool when it’s filled up and people naturally balance signatures on it so it never looks half empty. Just an idea!
We did programs that were big fans for the outdoor wedding and I saw the fans flapping the whole time! Plus it always gives me comfort to know what’s happening next and the fan was super helpful for them even if just for five minutes LOL definitely something to skip but if not I liked the pretty fan idea!:)
Great stuff! I totally agree with you about ALL of these! However, I have seen some really cool and creative ways to do a “guest book”. 1) a beautiful 3.5 foot flat, surf board shaped piece of finished wood that guests could write on with silver sharpies. The whole board is filled with notes/signatures and the bride & groom hung it in their living room after their wedding! 2)Another example, a guest book with blank pages, Instax mini camera, cute washi tape, and colored pens – guests could take photos, tape them in the book and write a note!
I appreciate this article because it’s nice to get some grounding advice when planning a wedding, as you tend to get carried away sometimes and think everyone will notice and appreciate every detail- they wont! HOWEVER, in this day and age where everything goes on social media and a lot of the guests probably do appreciate appealing aesthetics, I’d say this list could do with revising. The best wedding I ever went to had these amazing touches that I still remember. Audio guest book?! How cool! Special favours for kids! Super aesthetic desserts table and colour themes! And in our family the impression the invitation leaves is a big thing. We also appreciate a nice cake, but rather than how it looks, it’s how it tastes. If you spend an arm and a leg because it’s designed beautifully, no one will appreciate this if it tastes like crap. Best thing to consider is your budget, don’t get yourself in debt putting on a show for other people. Having said that, consider your guests and consider the times you’ve been a guest… What did you like, what stayed with you, what stood out for you, what do you wish the event organizers had considered? Go from there. Be inclusive, throw an interactive event and lastly but more importantly, HAVE FUN!
Well this has just reinforced that we are doing the right thing with our wedding (this weekend!) Loads of the things you listed are thoughts I’ve had myself. We are having no programs, no cake (but yes to dessert table), no favours, no linens. I’ve never found those things important at any wedding I’ve been to.
For wedding favors my sister and her husband just spread a bunch of Legos out on the tables. It gave people something to do, guests to take their creations home with them, if no one took the Legos then that was fine because the bride and groom are huge nerds and are very happy with their box of wedding Legos.
I found your website through this article and even though my country’s wedding culture is a little different it was super helpful to see that the pressure we tend to put on ourselves can very often be arbitrary and that our guests just want to have fun and spend the big day with us. I really appreciate this article and your whole website (and your second one too!)❤️ I would love to do what you do one day and your advice is invaluable! ❤️❤️❤️ Also, I love your energy and sense of humor! Keep up the good work 😘
Actually I do care about programs. Sorry. I want to know what time things are happening. Maybe one per table would suffice though. There have been weddings where I’m tired as hell but Idk if they’re doing a dollar dance and I don’t wanna miss that, you know? So I stay and wait for it to never happen.
I have gold foil envelopes, I photoshopped my own invitations, have a fancy rubber return addressed stamp and also used wax seal for the envelopes… it’s probably the most fanciest project I’ve done and i actually don’t mind they go in the trash because, I did these things for myself, not to please my guests. I like to go all out which makes me proud of my efforts, even if the end result isn’t what I expect 🙂
Oh wow this is so culture-specific! I’ve been working weddings (as a photographer) since 2010, and have found quite a number of these to be things people do enjoy/notice/care about. In particular, open seating (maybe people here are much less socially awkward? It is not weird to sit next to people in unusual groups), & slideshows (people love slide shows oh my gosh). Still, good list!
Hi! I just wanted to say that I am so grateful for this article! 💕 Please continue to make articles as such because it truly is a blessing to those who want to share this special moment but also are looking ways to lessen the stress of planning on their own, while not going into debt by holding a wedding! 😊
At one wedding I ran we did the slideshow during the cocktail hour. As soon as the ceremony ended I ran over and started the music and article so while the party did photos and license and whatnot the guests did snacks and socialized and got to watch the slideshow if they wanted. It continued to play during dinner and stopped it once we got to toasts and it was great. If you wanted to watch, cool. If not, it wasn’t taking time from anything else. I personally love a slideshow but I have been to a wedding where there was set aside time for the slideshow and it did drag.
This article is a great reminder for me because I sometimes forget that not everyone thinks like me. I have every wedding invitation and little trinquete from weddings I’ve attended. The same way I have a key chain collection, a bow I had when I was 6 and a bunch of other random things in a box. I always think since things are important to me it will be to everyone. lt’s nice having a professional say hey you don’t need this. 😂
Thanks for the great advice! My fiancé’s and my wedding is set for 2021, so definitely will take on board these things. I loved and agree with everything you listed, bar one: the first dance. Now I know I’m biased because I actually AM one of those ballroom dance teachers you mentioned, BUT for some people, it causes real anxiety to get up there in front of friends and family and be expected to do something so completely out of their comfort zone – because sadly, we as a society don’t learn to dance as the norm anymore; in those situations I would respectfully say that people come to me for the same reason they go to you: they want the advice and help of a professional in that field who has more experience than they do. Please don’t think I’m trolling you or trying to be confrontational – I’m not saying that the only solution to not swaying on the spot is a fully choreographed dance! Far from it! My favourite dances that I have ever helped put together are the ones where the couple is utilising a few of the social dance steps they’ve learned in lessons with me, they’ve played around with it themselves, and found an order that’s organic to them or no order at all – the dances that are different and spontaneous every time are golden and so authentic to each couple! They look confident, they look happy, they look relaxed and in love, because they have a few basic skills under their belt – and these skills will take them well past the wedding, into their honeymoon and their marriage as a life skill.
Oh my gosh THANK YOU!!! The wedding invitation thing is the disagreement I’m having with my mom right now! She’s a debutante and is completely CONVINCED that it’s tacky to send the invites in the plain envelope they came with. I tried ordering custom envelopes and that has turned into weeks of emailing customer service back and forth to reach a resolution because my envelopes were late and totally wrong. Now I’m sitting at my kitchen table addressing the white envelopes included with my invites because I know, and you have confirmed, the invitation and ESPECIALLY the envelope, will end up in the trash! I’m sending this to my mom lolll great article!!!!
This was great. These things are true for bar/bat mitzvahs as well! LOL. My daughter’s bat mitzvah was the least decorated, no “entertainment” besides a DJ, and no cake (just a candy bar and tons of cupcakes) and EVERYONE said it was the best one of the year. LOL. I’m now planning our wedding and my mom keeps telling me to do all these traditional things that I just don’t know if I care about. She keeps thinking that I’m going to regret NOT doing these things.
Truth! Haha! Enjoyed this. 🙂 I went to the effort of designing and printing wedding programs MYSELF, and then the ushers forgot to hand them out. 😛 And nobody knew the difference. 😉 And yes, my parents and I hand-made our favors, and then I got to take home scores of them after the wedding (and eventually, I had to just toss them!). P.S. I think “monergy” is a brilliant word hybrid! LOL
I totally agree with most of the information in this article! I went to a wedding once for a friend and didn’t know anyone besides the person that came with me. I ended up leaving early due to open seating and not having anywhere to sit! I want to create a seating chart for my wedding, but I’m afraid some may show up without RSVPing and that obviously creates a problem. Advice?!
Haha you’re so comical 🙂 I’m a wedding planner myself and my God did this article resonate with me! Although, funny you should mention frosting on cake – in the UK (where I’m from) fondant is pretty standard. Especially for celebration cakes. I know frosting is a more American thing but I actually really really like fondant haha!! My husband is American and his whole family thinks I’m bonkers for liking it
I really like this article because it is a list of things to think about and decide whether it is relevant to your guests or not. It is not about being ultimately right or wrong because it would be impossible to make a article that would adhere to every single wedding guest group. It is about things guests might not care about in general. It helps you decide whether or not it is right for your wedding and your guests. Some of these points will work for my wedding and others will not but it is still a great article to help with wedding planning!
This is great!! “Anxiety in a bucket!” I love it! 😂I was thinking that about open seating so I’m glad you shared your experience. My husband and I are planning our 25th vow renewal and I’m using some of these suggestions. Thank you! Question: if you’re having a seating chart, but not escort/place cards, what do you suggest is the best way to let people know where they can sit? Table numbers? I know I can Google or Pinterest it, but thought I’d ask. 😉
Event organiser here.. Invitations are lovely. I never put them in the trash. I keep all of my friends/families invites to look back on. However unless they are via email they are pricey once you have posted them to everyone. Guestbooks are so important. I had this for a 60th Birthday party I organised recently for My Mum. Everyone loved it… I had hired a Magic Mirror to go along with it and it was perfect. I would just say that for these extras get a family member or friend to go around guests to encourage them to sign it- so that the Bride and Groom can stay with the guests. At a private party I hosted recently I spent so much time running around like a headless chicken that I didn’t give the guests as much attention as I could have. Programmes are important as in my experience most people forget the layout… and for such an important day its vital, especially if you have alot planned. Some people may have health issues or kids (if kids are going to the wedding) and if its a long day, they may like to see when there are breaks scheduled. It makes it more enjoyable to have routine and make sure people are comfortable. So many times I have sent the details to guests with regular updates for parties- and then they turn up and ask me 100 questions. You could have one programme per table to cut on costs, that’s fine. Open seating- completely agree. You need place settings and organisation. And to have strict invites. Also its good to try to seat people who know one another next to one another where possible (or perhaps with similar interests).
I am already excluding most of these but I’m getting a lot of flack from friends and relatives about not wanting elaborate invitations. They say that if I make plain invitations it looks like I’m going to have a runny sink wedding. The truth is my venue is gorgeous but I don’t feel like my invites need to match it.
I dont know any wedding that had a set time dedicated to perusal a slideshow lool what. Usually its just played throughout the entire wedding so people can just glance at them or watch when they want. Also I kind of agree that no one cares about the first dance.. in my experience. But if its interesting and choreographed and not slow dancing then people watch more.. but if its just u slow dancing to a song.. ive found no one cares lol people just talk amongst the themselves until you finish. Not to mention i always found the first dance kind of awkward to watch and do. I do agree with the rest though! Good tips!
I agree with all of these except the open seating haha. We had open seating at our wedding and it turned out great! I didn’t want to stress about putting people with others who they didn’t know, shuffling people around etc. All the people who attended we knew would move around and sit where they wanted anyway! We did however set up two RESERVED tables for family. After the ceremony we opened up the bar immediately so everyone was up and moving the rest of the night. I guess you just have to do what works for you, if you want assigned seats, great! If not, then don’t do it lol. 👍🏻
My brother had shot glasses for favors they were definitely taken home by the guest 😂 One wedding I decorated the bride did gummy bears in these cute little pyramids, after a long night of dancing every loved having a little snack, and we gave some to the waiters and clean up crew, very cheap and easy
I think I’m the only one who cares about place cards. I take all of mine home. I went to my cousins wedding in August of last year, best wedding ever. Her place cards were cuts of small tree branches with an cut in to hold the card up. I took extra ones I could find home and use them on my desk, great note holder. Same for her favours. They were bamboo straws and I thought it was the best thing ever
My best friend did open seating and it was HORRIBLE! Her friends from home were really rude and refused to sit with us when there were only a handful of friends and the rest of the wedding was family. Felt so exclusive and we had 5 empty seats leftover. Couldn’t agree more on cake – definitely don’t want one!!
I vowed to avoid assigned seating like the plague for my wedding after being forgotten by a relative. My sister was sat at a table with all our closest cousins, my mom with her siblings and family friends, and I wasn’t on the guest list at all (or possibly I was, but with my name misspelled and sitting with people I’d never met). I didn’t even get a plate because of this oversight; my sister just ended up sharing some of her food with me. v_v Ideally, I’d like to have something much less formal. Like an outdoor picnic.
At the end of the day – what Brides don’t care about is this list. Brides – the lesson is – do what you WANT to do. It’s your day – you want specialty linens? Get them. You want an amazing, boring slideshow – do it. I agree with the no open seating. But if you want open seating? Do it. I don’t care about cake either, but my fiance does. So we’re getting an amazingly decorated cake that we will take pictures in front of and I probably won’t eat and most of the guests probably won’t either – but the fiance wants it so we’re getting it because it’s his day too. I even suggested getting a fake cake to take pics of and just cut up a stupid sheet cake for the guests – but he wanted a gorgeous REAL cake. And I’m not doing a bouquet toss or a garter toss – because it’s old fashioned, takes ridiculous time away from the festivities and is just one more thing to plan to do, and she’s right no one cares if you do it or don’t. But if YOU want to do it – have at it, it’s your day. I do agree that favors will get thrown in the trash – because I’ve thrown a million away myself. So I’m not doing them. But if you want to? Guess what. Do it. Get to wrapping some Jordan almonds in some mesh with a ribbon that has your names and date on it and have at it. You’ll find the majority of them in the trash right outside the venue – but if you like it, I love it. But please know that I’m DEFINITELY doing a Grand Exit with sparklers because what I DGAFF is that my guests don’t care. Who cares? I am not doing ANYTHING at my wedding FOR the guests.
I just found this article and all your points are so true! I will say this though: I heard from a friend about a wedding she went that chocolate covered almonds as the “favor,” but instead of putting them on the table, they were in little boxes in the guests chairs before the ceremony. I thought that was pretty clever!
We had edible favors. S’mores in a pretty box. “To love you s’more.” We had a back yard wedding on New Year’s Eve. We had a fire pit where we saw guest heating their marshmallows. We also had two baskets full of fleece blankets (I got for $4-6 on black Friday). The baskets had a note that read “To have and to hold in case you get cold.” It was very fun.
OMG. I am so old that I agree with everything here. We just had dinner after my wedding ceremony, and a two-tiered cake we shared with everyone. Everyone being the immediate family and the wedding vendors (who also happened to be family). We just rented two different function rooms for the ceremony and the dinner. Succulents…um. They don’t feel like gifts. They feel like added responsibility.
Absolutely agree about bouquet toss (and pretty much everything else). My only personal disagreement (other than invites which – as per my previous comment at the start of the article- I’ve already put too much time and effort into to admit people won’t care) is the wedding favours: they’re essential in my culture, so including them means including a part of it in an otherwise non-traditional/multicultural wedding. I do agree though that just leaving them on the table, sometimes ambiguously (like, I was at a wedding where the favours were small potted plants and no one realised they were for them to take home, so no one did) won’t do. I’ll have them all in a big basket either outside the ceremony venue or in the entrance of the reception venue, with clear signage and possibly one of the bridesmaids handing them out.
I feel like favors can work as long as it’s something that could be useful for you after your wedding, like I went to one wedding where the favors were these cute mason jar cups. A bunch were left over so the bride and groom, their parents, and my family now have several at our houses and I love them
I agree with all of these (super awesome list btw!) except open seating. All the weddings I have been to with assigned seating are super awkward because I never get to sit with the people I want to. Most of my friends have done open seating and we’ve always made it work way more successfully. As one friend says, a round table always fits n+1.
This is all helpful info. I’m JUST starting to plan my wedding and all the things I’m seeing as suggestions are so overwhelming. Knowing that I can cut some things out of the plan, or modify that will also cut costs! WIN! We are still at the “Choosing a venue and making guest list” stag. Not even a date yet.
Thank you so much! I needed this I’m currently planning my dream wedding we are actually married and been married for awhile 6 years and Friends/dated since 2008-2009 just never got around to having that special day and I’ve been trying to create this weeding/ renewaling of our vows pacifically ment for us with out spending on ridiculous iteams that are more meant for a new couple and I really hate spending money on thing I can’t use and will probably get thrown away are collect dust in the addict so thanks for the tips!!!!!
I showed my fiance this article as we’re brainstorming mode since our wedding isn’t till 2024, she wants fondant, so when you went off about fondant those were fighting words lol, I’m still your fan and will still watch your articles even if my future wifey is salty over fondant xD thank you for everything Jamie!!!
We’re doing a slideshow of our story + photos that will play as guests are arriving to the ceremony. That way anyone who arrives early won’t be sitting in awkward silence waiting for things to get started and it provides a nice transition into the procession. Guests who arrive on time or late also won’t feel like they’ve missed anything this way, and come time for the reception no one has to sit through an extra 10 minutes just for a slideshow when they already know the couple and their story. Some of my other favourite slideshow options are: 1.) Play it during your cocktail hour. You can set it up to cycle through a handful of photos and that way while you’re off getting family portraits done your guests can mingle, drink and watch your slideshow in the background. 2.) Play your slideshow right before your grand entrance. This will give you and your partner a little extra time between cocktail hour and reception to squeeze in some one on one time and freshen up. 3.) Add your slideshow to your wedding website instead. If you have a section for an ‘about us’ or ‘our story’ on your wedding website add a slideshow there instead. It’s a fun and interactive addition to your website and allows guest the option to choose whether or not they want to sit through a slideshow rather than having it play on your wedding day. I just wanted to share these alternatives in case anyone else out there is like me and loves the sentimentality behind wedding slideshows but also wants to keep their guests happy/entertained and stick to their wedding day schedule at the same time.
Was trying to remember all that stuff from weddings I attended and could only remember one where people had a desert table. Could not remember even my wedding (we did not do many, like the choreographed dance), but I have no idea how long or what colour the linens were 😀 Good points. Except in our culture favors are expected, but in a form of some candy/sweets. That is a cultural thing – people left at home (like your roomate) who were not invited always ask for sweets from wedding you attended.
I thought that bouquet tosses were sort of . . . depressing. Plus, I made my own bouquet and the idea of throwing it really bummed me out. Instead, I gifted my bouquet to one of my bridesmaids who had just gone through a pretty rough year in love. I obviously didn’t draw attention to that, but I gave her a little toast thanking her for her friendship and promising to always be there for her. It is a cherished memory for both of us.
I agree with most of the things on the list, but at the same time it depends about culture! Here in Italy favors are a MUST 😂🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️ in every event that we celebrate in church, even if it’s something very small and private, guests will have a favor (here they’re called bomboniera). Same for the bouquet toss, it’s a strong tradition for us ☺️
For us programs are a must. We are an interracial couple. I’m Mexican & we have a lot of beautiful & fun wedding traditions that my Chinese boyfriend’s family won’t understand unless we explain it. Instead of announcing it, we’re going to explain it in the program (for Chinese traditions too), so they don’t feel left out or confused. But every situation is different! I agree on most of your list though, the favors article made me feel bad for the bride!
I never usually comment on youtube articles, but there are so many points here that I wanted to say something about. Programmes- Actually really useful, when Im at a wedding I want to know whats happening & when so that I have an idea of what to expect, & can plan accordingly. Guest books- I always make sure that I sign these, I love them, & will definitely have one at my own wedding. If it ends up being only partly full, I’m fine with that. But I’m all about being able to look back at things that remind me of beautiful times in my life. Linens- Visible table legs are tacky? Is this an American thing? I’m confused! Genuinely never heard of table legs being tacky before 😂 Open seating- I’m from the UK, & I have never been to a wedding with a table plan, & won’t be having one at my wedding. I don’t like the idea of being told who I can & can’t sit next to, & I won’t tell other people who they can & can’t sit next to either. Cake- Again, from the UK, we love a bit of cake here! Give me all the wedding cake if you don’t want it! Favours- I personally love favours. I love the thought that people put into them, & the variety of ideas available for them. As for the succulents that you articleed, I really would have had no idea that those were for people to take, they look like they were just being used as name card holders. Unless there is something telling me to take something, or its extremely obvious, I’m not going to just pick up & take something that might not be mine to take.
1. I love when people have good invitations! If it’s elaborate and beautiful I’ll keep it on the fridge for a bit after the wedding! 2. Programs I totally agree! I love when weddings have an outline on like a chalkboard that I can take a look at or take a pic of but definitely not necessary. 3. Placecards definitely not necessary. Only time I kept one was the bride wrote a hand written note on all of them! Very time consuming 4. I rarely fill out a guestbook 😂 good to know I don’t need to waste money on this 5. I hate when linens have a wrinkle on them! Color doesn’t matter though 6. Make your first dance unique and exciting! It’s awkward when they’re stepping back and forth with no planning. All that matters is that it’s special for them 💕 7. I’ve never experienced a slideshow at a wedding! I love the idea of a slide show area they can visit 8. Open seating stresses me out definitely anxiety in a bucket 😂 9. I’m passionate about this. Love dessert options rather than 7 tier cakes lol 10. I never notice if they skip a bouquet toss, definitely not necessary 11. We’re doing $1 lotto tickets for our wedding favors lol 12. I don’t think it matters what the grand exit is but it’s still cute and fun ❤
Where i come from we hand the favors direct in the hands of guests when they are leaving and saying goodbye to the couple. We say thank you for coming and give the favor. What they do with them later is another story 🤣 i plan for my wedding to make homemade strawberry jam in a small jar and a little bottle of homemade cherry liquer with a thank you card with our picture 🤷 that’s what i’m thinking bow but maybe i change my mind
How people differ! The last thing I want at any wedding is a dj. That means the music is usually overpowering load, yes obnoxiously intrusive. I love to spend time with friends and relatives and talk. I don’t care at all for dancing and so does usually the majority of the guests. So personally I am all for having a wedding location with several halls: on the one end the music with the dance lovers. On the other end the comfy seating and a lot more tranquil atmosphere, for not being too close to the music.
I agree to a point with some of your disses, but if the couple can afford all the extras, they should do them because all the extras is what sets apart a so so wedding from a wow wedding. The small details and extras do matter! All the extras say to their guests we really want to thank you for coming and we care to empress you. I understand that many cannot afford to splurge and that’s okay, too, but if you can, do it!
Instead of paying a lot of money for place-cards, we went on Etsy and found a very elegant poster template we can edit and print at our Walgreens. It’s one of the best things I’ve purchased so far and it was cheap ($5-$10)! Plus with the never ending game of musical tables we are able to edit the template until the week before the wedding!
I’ve actually found that from weddings the one thing I always end up taking home is those little bubbles we blow when they bride & groom come out of the chapel! I have sooo many little ones that say the names of the bride and groom or say the date or even recently, my cousin had bubble bottles in the colors of her wedding. Weird, but just a thought I had 😅
I don’t agree on the Table linen’s and the wedding invitations but then again I’m making mine to save me money and to make them save worthy even if nobody comes I want to feel great on my big day and that includes sitting and looking at the beautiful event I put together for myself and my family because its my way of telling them that I love them enough to make my wedding look the absolute best that I can
Another thing guests apparently don’t care for these days is a timeline for the whooole event. They just need to know when to get there, when to possibly move to the next location and when they should expect to get some grub. My sister’s wedding didn’t have any other times set apart from these three and when the alcohol serving was gonna begin. Especially the older folks loved this as they were used to having a very strict timeline set for the whole evening, and they found this very relaxing and sang high praises for it. Of course we had the maid of honor and some other people letting people know when i.e. the photo booth was gonna open and when the dessert table was gonna open up and such but we simply went with the vibe we got from people. It was great! 🙂
I also worked a wedding where there were only enough cupcakes for 1 per guest and we were not aware of that. Well, people took more than one and then started helping themselves to the huge wedding cake and the brides Mom came and screamed at the serve staff and the bride was crying and they were questioning if we were eating the cupcakes and also called the bakery to complain. So crazy. I have so many stories from my days of working weddings and don’t miss it lol! Definitely a lot of insight for mine next year though 😇
Escort cards are an inexpensive and easy DIY to add personalization to any event. In addition, a seating chart isn’t as flexible as a printed or calligraphy seating chart, so Clients can move around their guest seating if they wish or need to (because someone always RSVPs late) as long as they have the final seating chart in to their coordinator on the day of. Escort cards are a plus in my book!!
You mentioned the bouquet toss and I realized i probably won’t have to worry about that since I only have a few single ladies that would be a part of thst, and half of them are kids lol Also, I’m thinking if people didn’t want my wedding favors (little bags of our favorite candies) the I can just collect them up and have candy to eat the day after. Either way, it’s a win for me!
I am so glad that I’m doing a small family bbq wedding at a park. I am not worrying about most of these things. I have seen open seating work really well, and I think because of the vibe of my wedding it will work better. I am only making four pretty invitations that will be printed, for the parents and grandparents, while everyone else will receive digital invites with the essential information.
Wow, thanks Jamie, you totally saved me some $$$ because I would have invested way too much on favors, escort cards, programs and a fancy tablecloths. Come to think of it, the thing I remember most about the weddings I’ve been to was the music and food. I couldn’t even tell you what kind of tablecloths, guests books or favors they had. This was a helpful article