Many people live together with little to no physical attraction, but severe health issues and child-centered marriages may lead to a lack of intimacy in a marriage. This can be due to various reasons, such as feeling distant, unattracted, or resentful towards one’s partner. The absence of intimacy can impact self-worth, confidence, and even lead to higher resentment and distance.
A biblical marriage requires strong emotional connections, mutual respect, and shared values. While physical attraction can enhance a relationship, its absence doesn’t necessarily doom a marriage. Open communication, understanding, and finding other forms of intimacy and connection are essential.
Some people marry those they hold little to no physical attraction for in order to make up for loss or avert loneliness. A marriage can survive without physical attraction if it’s built on strong emotional connections, mutual respect, and shared values. However, the absence of physical attraction doesn’t necessarily doom a marriage.
To bring sex back into a marriage, couples should make more time for quality time and intimate time, get a better sense of their own needs, learn how to express their desires, develop a healthier relationship with their body, and experiment in the bedroom together.
Romantic love can be broken down into three categories: lust, attraction, and attachment. While physical and sexual attraction doesn’t necessarily lead to love, it’s important to remember that good relationships involve good sex. If a couple isn’t physically attracted to one another over time, it’s not much consolation.
📹 Can a Relationship Survive Without Physical Attraction?
On this episode, we hear about: – A woman struggling with attraction after rekindling things with her ex – A mom wondering how to …
Is it normal to not be physically attracted to your husband?
Predictability can lead to boredom. Long-term relationships can get boring. As the excitement of a relationship dies down, predictability can make you bored. This can make you less interested in your partner. Physical attraction can fade. You may not find your partner attractive anymore. This could happen if you lose the spark between you. Or, you may feel unattracted to changes in their body or appearance. Romance may take a backseat. You and your partner may have settled into your daily routine. You may be close, but you don’t have time for romance. Conflicts can make you distant. Conflicts in a relationship can lead to anger, resentment, and distance if they’re not resolved. Conflicts can come from many things, like money, parenting, chores, or cheating.
What to Do If You Feel This Way. Dr. Romanoff suggests steps if you’ve lost attraction for your partner.
Figure out why. Try to understand why you don’t feel attracted to your partner. The cause may be physical or emotional. Think about what caused this feeling and pay attention to what makes you feel this way with your partner. Work through it if you can. Think about what made you attracted to your partner and what changed.
Can a marriage survive without physical intimacy?
You’ve both grown and changed since you met. This is good. A sexless marriage can survive, but a healthy marriage changes and keeps improving. Your love life needs different things now. If you talk to your partner, you can make your marriage more sexual. Is sex once a month a sexless marriage? Most professionals agree that a sexless marriage is one in which sex occurs less than once a month or less than ten times per year. Once a month isn’t technically sexless, but it bothers you, right?
Can a relationship last if there is no physical attraction?
Do you lose attraction for someone? Yes. You can love someone but not be sexually attracted to them. Long-term relationships are complicated. People often feel less attracted to their partner over time. This can make people confused, guilty, and frustrated. People are afraid this will be their future. Take action if you’re losing attraction. If you start to lose interest in your partner, don’t ignore it. You might end up turning away from the relationship or looking for someone else. Avoiding the problem makes things worse. My partner loves me, but not sexually. Why? When we fall in love, we want to be with our partner all the time. It can be hard to keep that feeling. People lose interest over time for many reasons.
What is the walkaway wife syndrome?
Sometimes, one spouse leaves the other suddenly. The other spouse is shocked. This is called “walkaway wife syndrome.” This term is used for when a spouse, often the wife, feels alone, neglected, and resentful in a bad marriage and decides to leave. What is walkaway wife syndrome? The term “walkaway wife syndrome” suggests a sudden decision, but it often comes after a long period of conflict. The divorce takes years to happen. After trying to get her spouse to deal with their relationship issues, the wife finally decides it’s pointless. She has thought about her options and is ready to leave the marriage.
Can sexless marriages last?
“A marriage can last without sex if both people are okay with it,” said sex therapist Celeste Hirschman, co-author of “Making Love Real: The Intelligent Couples Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion.” “Some people don’t prioritize sex.” For some, sex is a high priority, just like any other activity.
Sometimes, a sexless or low-sex relationship can be good. This can be the case when… If both partners have low sex drives, a lack of sex won’t hurt the marriage.
Why is my husband not physically attracted to me?
A relationship without respect can’t handle physical intimacy. If you and your husband don’t respect each other, that’s the main problem. Even if the relationship is generally respectful, more respect can make you more attractive.
Is sexless marriage unhealthy?
What works for one couple may not work for another. Some research shows that happy marriages need physical intimacy. Couples who have sex less than once a week are less happy than those who have sex more often. Here are four types of sexless marriages.
Mismatched ideas of intimacy. Some people think penetration is sex, but others think their marriages are sexless because they don’t have other types of stimulation. But couples have different ideas about sex. Not all couples want or need penetration. Sexuality is complex. Married couples can have sex without penetration, toys, or other forms of intimacy. What sex means to you is up to you.
In these cases, it can help to look at the cause of the concern. One partner might be uncomfortable with how their partner wants to have sex. One partner might be uncomfortable with their body. Talking about why you don’t do a particular sexual act can help.
Why is my husband not getting erect with me?
Erectile dysfunction affects men of all ages. As you get older, your risk goes up. This is because erections take longer to develop and other factors may also play a part. Physical issues like heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, and smoking can cause erectile dysfunction. Depression, anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and other mental health issues can also affect sexual feelings. This can make your erectile problems worse. It’s often a mix of the two. It’s important to know your physical and mental state to understand why you have erectile dysfunction. The symptoms of erectile dysfunction are easy to spot. If you have trouble getting or keeping an erection, you might have erectile dysfunction. If you have any of these symptoms, see your family doctor or internist. The hardest part of diagnosing erectile dysfunction is talking about it. But talking to your doctor is the first step. It’s common and a diagnosis can happen quickly. A physical exam and some basic questions about your medical history are usually all that is needed. If you have long-term health problems or your doctor thinks there might be something else going on, you might need more tests or to see a specialist like me.
When your husband loves you but doesn’t desire you?
Ask him about what’s going on. Most men avoid sex because of changes or feelings that are difficult for them. They may feel guilty, ashamed, or self-conscious. Be positive and work together to understand. If he doesn’t start the conversation, be persistent. If you and your husband have conflict, resolve it. If you can’t make progress on your own, get help from a therapist. Talk about the hard things and work together to find a solution. Be best friends and teammates. Talk about what you do and don’t do in the bedroom. Get out of your rut. Do more foreplay, have sex in a different room, or wear something new to bed. Being creative can bring energy to your sex life.
What to do when your husband has no desire for intimacy?
If your partner knows the problem exists but doesn’t know what causes it, suggest a physical exam. Low libido can be caused by a medical condition or a side effect of medication. If your partner is reluctant to discuss it, take charge and don’t take it personally. This is not about you or your partner failing each other. You both must take responsibility for the problem. If you take the lead and suggest couples counseling, you can bring the issue into the light and use the process to strengthen the relationship. If your partner can pinpoint a problem, work together to find a solution. Focus on small changes and get help if you need it. Therapy can help you manage stress and identify depression or anxiety. Can a relationship survive without desire? Remember: Solving any relationship problem takes time. Take your time, be patient, and seek counseling if needed. There is help for your relationship.
Is it good to marry someone you are not physically attracted to?
Its such a bad thing when you say that you HAVE to have a physical spark to draw you in because that should NOT be what draws you in. You SHOULD have a physical connection, absolutely! Dont get married if you have no physical connection whatsoever. But, that is a horrible thing to draw you in and make you want to be with someone. We talk a lot about FOUNDATION. If you want to build your relationship on SAND, then build it on physcial attraction and watch the sand sink. When you marry someone, youre marrying a best friend, youre NOT marrying a sexual object. *When Adam first saw his wife, he didnt say, she is so fine.. wooof!! His inner dog didnt come up. He said, at last, bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. Do I love you??? No I am you, you are me, and in your presence I know who I am reminded of who I am. Tim Keller always said, marriage is friendship on fire, deep oneness that comes from a mutual journey. There is Eros love means, erotic romantic love of two people looking at each other. Philos love means two people standing side by side looking at something else in common wow what a picture. So if we are looking for philos, partnership, kingdom love on mission. Why are we STARTING with eros!? Biblically, philos is the first stage, it is the foundation, and eros grows from the brotherly, deep oneness and friendship.
Is physical attraction necessary in marriage?
Physical attraction is important, but not the only thing. People think that looks are everything. Looks are probably the first thing you look for in a romantic partner, but they shouldn’t be the only thing. A strong relationship is about how a person behaves, not how they look. Real attraction is about more than just looks. It’s about a combination of physical, emotional, and spiritual connection, along with friendship and other qualities. These help you build a secure bond. It’s important to focus on other aspects of a relationship, not just looks. Research shows we want partners who are attractive, but not too attractive. In a study by Griffin and Langlois, people with average looks were seen as more positive than those who were very attractive or unattractive.
📹 Physical Attraction: Should I end a relationship for lack of it?
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I lost one of my best friends at the age of 12 to cancer as well. I was able to be at the hospital with a group of my friends the night she passed away. We prepared a scrapbook with pictures and letters written from all of her friends, and read it to her at the hospital. It was definitely therapeutic.
No, but it’s more complicated than physical looks. Different people are physically attracted to others based on different things that sometimes have nothing to do with how you look. I was attracted to women of all different types, but personality and whole character were the strongest predictors of attraction for me.
Noah, thx 🙏 for that great question ! I am nurse. The difference for me is : tears are okay; occupying too much verbal space is not. I don’t let my emotions be verbal too much if that make sense but tears I don’t refrain, attentively listening, being present … being sad with them … I will not say : it’s going to be okay.
When my fiancé died my family and friends just abandoned me. My parents told me this is a disgrace and forbidden me to come home. I was the only caregiver, was with him in home hospice to allow him dying peacefully. No one supported me and they knew I don’t have a job, we spent all money on the treatment, I was anirexicly thin and crushed because we were about to get married! My parents just went on vacation to rest, my grandparents told me that “everyone has their own life so they care of that not me “. Not even one person gave me a phone call, visited or wrote me a text. 😮😢 that’s how having family is like ? I was told all my life I have to take care of family members and when I need them once no one was there. I learned hard that the only person who cared about me died. Years passed by and I still live a lonely life. At least I found a job and can afford food and bills . My parents somehow think I just can stop by and have a dinner with them as if nothing happened. And I don’t even think of going there because I don’t have strength to deal with all their bulls*** and pretend, as t as if nothing happened 😮 this is sick and unhealthy! But I feel lonely and would like to have a partner or w friend 😢😮 I am existing to pay bills and I am deeply suffering and crying every single day and night. Should I add I am a psychologist and I help others every day yet no one is helping me ? I am lost. I am seriously having suicidal thoughts every day and I don’t see any other option.
I will probably repost this when the short for the 3rd called drops. One of the nicest things you can do for someone dealing with the illness of a loved one is to drop off food. Dont ask, “Do you need anything?” Just show up. I understand this caller is not close with the Mom …get a door dash gift card or instacart gift card. Or tell them, we are organizing a meal train, what allergies do you all have? Get your community to help pitch in. When we were taking care of my Dad near the end we didnt want to leave the house…..too busy to cook. Things get all encompassing. Someone came by, dropped off food and left. It was a godsend.
Noah’s question was amazing. Wow. Dr Ds answer was also very clear. Thanks for giving the listener a chance to work that all out. I’m crying right now just processing your job and HOW DO YOU DO IT! Thank you Noah for taking on this challenge with the men and women who are defending EVERYONE it seems. Sometimes if I am with a friend or family member who is crying I panic not knowing how to respond but maybe two people just crying and hugging and being there for each other, is ok. Then I should blow my nose and start listening. ❤ it’s good to be able to emotionally support someone. ❤❤❤❤. Great discussion.
I loved loved LOVED the advice to the second caller. In my professional life I’m a solver. I have to hear about heavy situations and then use that information to help the people who have been through it reach some stability and safety in their lives. Conversely, I have a role at church where it’s less certain and highly contextual on whether I need to be a solver or just be present with people who are experiencing hardship. I have felt conflicted about having these shifting roles. I felt like maybe I was being a fraud or performative for not being my authentic self in all demanding situations. Thank you Dr. John, for giving me permission to read the room and respond accordingly. And thank you to the caller who asked the question I didn’t know I had!
i lost a cousin who was 14 too from cancer, she fought a hard long 4 years, the strongest person ill EVER know in my life. My sister is was in that same position, she was the same age as her at the time and that was her best friend, its been 5 years already and you can tell my sister still feels it, you can tell shes still hurting. I feel for her
Let’s go dr john. Hold her accountable of her actions! Women like her are blaming men and not holding themselves responsible. When John said the issue was her, she was like what do you mean? She was scared to face the truth! Then he goes in deeper and cuts into her past and focuses on her. Good job John of putting her on the spot!
I was my dads loveliest daughter – wished and expected and awaited (he said he ordered me by God and was sure, I would have come). But just sometimes it did not quite worked out with us (maybe he did not know I was so sensitive?). When I think of how young our parents were, while starting a family (in the early days and in some countries it was veeeery early), I suspect, they were not ready for a challenge. First of all for the emotional challenge of it all. And then… I start crying and understanding their situation. Maybe this is called compassion? 😊 Not quite sure. Maybe.
When someone is supporting me and shows more emotion than I(almost always the case), it makes me very uncomfortable. I immediately wish they were not there. I go into full panic if they start sobbing. The best example I have of my reaction to emotional/stressful situations was the delivery nurse telling me that I needed to be present for the mother. I was entirely engrossed in observing the process, which I found interesting. I don’t remember feeling any emotion about the birth; during or after.
I just wanted to let you know, I was doing the survey, and was almost completed. I was at the segment of what products do I know of Dave Ramsey, I moved. The screen up, and it refreshed, on my iPhone, and took me right back to the beginning. I’m not sure if you’ll get the survey or not. I put alot of time into my answers, I’m sorry if you don’t get it, but I’m not doing it again. This is a real bummer. Maybe a glitch in the software? 😢
When someone steals all your money, then everything else becomes irrelevant. Then you contact the police or a lawyer to get your money back. If they were married and/or had children together it may not be so simple… But with a relationship that’s not good anyway, it has to be over, there is nothing to build a future on… I don’t understand why the host of this program placed so little weight on him stealing her money ! That alone should mean the relationship is over. Her being weak, blaming her is irrelevant !
To the part of AITP… depending on the uncles age, he may have dementia related mental issues. My dad used to call all the time. Maybe the poster could have a conversation with his cousins and have them do a wellness check. Could also be that the uncle did something to the poster when they were a kid and he is trying to protect them from something that happened to him without really saying it.
I think this episode was edited badly because your advice to her is so out of left field. I have to assume there are some nuggets on the cutting room floor. Which begs the question, why? Because what made it to the episode is a woman telling you that her on again off again boyfriend/hookup’s behavior gave her such a case of the ick that she can’t just move past it and pick things back up with him. You said “he did the work; the problem is yours” then told her that her real issue was that she doesn’t believe she’s loved, she’s the problem, and she needs to ask herself “why is he with you?” I’d love to hear more of that call and/or perhaps change the title of this episode to “dishonest boyfriend gives her the ick”.
After someone that got out of a 14 year relationship with a wonderful man that I had no physical attraction to, I am telling you that it is very important! Or you can marry somebody because all your family and friends tell you what a great person it is, but you are the one that will have to sleep with them for the rest of your life. And when you have physical attraction and a relationship, it makes a lot of issues easier to work out.
1. Attraction has no relevance to a deity or religion, so it doesn’t matter how much you consult with a religion about your lack of attraction, the body knows what it’s physically attracted to. 2. If you’re not physically attracted, don’t superficially lead them on and waste their time. Just be friends with them. 3. If you’re not physically attracted to them from the initial encounter via social media, and afterwards in person, you’ll never be physically attracted to them. 4. Physical Attraction doesn’t grow over time, unless that individual alters their physical appearance to one that suits your type. 5. At times, you’ll confuse being attracted to their personality as being attracted to them physically, and your body will eventually remind you that you aren’t physically attracted. 6. You can end up really confusing that individual and hurting their feelings if you try to string them along while knowing you aren’t physically attracted to them. It’s not fair to them. 7. If you aren’t physically attracted to them, then just admit it and be upfront and honest about it.
I mean it’s fairly simple to me. Talk to people you find attractive and see what comes out their mouth. If they are hot but dumb, I’m out. The other way around is also true to me. I dated this one person with who we had crazy sexual/physical chemistry but spirituality and psychologically we were on two different pages. Because we had great sex we stayed together longer than we should have. We had horrible communication and solved everything with sex because we were physically attracted like magnets. I dated this other person who had everything on paper but physically no chemistry, it didn’t last because I didn’t want to have sex with them Looking back, from both of these experiences, there has to be a middle ground. I don’t try to date people if there is no initial sexual chemistry but I don’t date someone solely based on that. The whole deal has to be there. When you know, you just know. It’s like a knowing. Follow your intuition and follow God. You will know the right one when they come.
I’m in total shock with the comment section. I don’t understand falling in love without physical attraction. Are these arranged marriages? Are you marrying a good friend hoping the sex would create the attraction? Did your spouse know going into the marriage or relationship that you were not physically attracted? Sexual chemistry can grow as you learn eachother and express your desires but physical attraction is the spark which starts the love story. With that said it’s still sad to read that even after decades together the physical trump’s the devotion, nurture, care and investment. These relationships are one-sided. You love that they love you. Pray for a renewed mind towards your partner. Pray for a new desire. Pray for the blockage to be removed. Write down everything you wish they were and burn it then pray for a spirit of contentment. Treat your spouse as though they are that new partner. Reinvent yourself like you would if you were going back out there. Bring new life to your relationship and encourage your partner to do the same. Hopefully your relationship will experience revival. God Bless!
This is great. It speaks to my situation directly. I’m not at all sexually attracted to my partner and I know this will be very much an impediment in sustaining a long-term partnership, other than friendship. I appreciate this person and I enjoy his company, but I think I don’t want to commit to more. I am afraid of losing him as a friend, and that’s a risk to take. But I can’t be dishonest to myself. A life together, is not what I want. I want moments together.
I cheated myself for a long time…I was married to a very wonderful man for nearly 40 years before he passed away. The problem…we never had a sexual relationship because I was never attracted to him physically therefore I would say definitely yes….there MUST be attraction. I have enough men friends…don’t need another one. If there was no physical chemistry I would be right up front with that person and not mince words. I will not waste time with someone who doesn’t have all the aspects..kindness, caring, generosity, AND sexual attraction. Period
My opinion based on my life is this… you ether find something good that you like or you stay alone and die alone period don’t complicate your life. You will marry someone that you just don’t fully love or are not atractivo to then you will end up with so much regret just like me. Don’t expect perfectness cuz that don’t exist but if I could go back in my life I would of die alone instead of dealing everyday with a person you just don’t like no matter how good they are. It’s not easy to be alone but is a lot easier then living in regret if your just not happy with who u are with for whatever reason. You ether get something good enough or stay alone.
Physical attraction doesn’t mean you’ll have good sex. And chemistry isn’t the same as physical attraction. When you’re attracted to them mentally, emotionally, somehow you will see them for who they are and feel love. And when you feel attraction and love, you’ll have good sex. And that’s what a long term relationship actually needs: love, attraction, and good sex! It’s not all about physicality. And if u feel turned off by your husband, maybe it might be a good idea to work on attraction and connection first 😊
after reading all comments, i have a conclusion, you will never get all u want together in a spouse, i.e perfect personality and perfect chemistry, if you get both, then you are among the very lucky few. am married to a man who has all i wanted in a man except there is no ‘chemistry’ as a result sex is not frequent sex, but am treated like a queen, we rarely argue, we are compatible in all way apart from sex, on the other hand my siz is married to this man who has it all in the outside, but she had even come back to my dad’s house coz thing weren’t working in her home n she kept complaining of her hubby, so it just a matter of delighting in your portion, coz you can’t get it all
Stop PITY dating! It’s dumb and silly, some people are just friends! Your lying to them and to your own heart! Women are moved by the words of a man, that is why so many women end up being hurt by bad guys who know how to tell you what you want to hear! Some women are even repulsed by a guy they call boyfriend.
This really is a simple yes or no. The answer is NO. She is literally suffering because she cannot connect. There needs to be a balance of physical and emotional attraction. BE CAREFUL, thinking the attraction is just going to ‘show up’ out of nowhere over a period of time! Like over 50% of divorces, you will destroy this person and yourself if you continue to lead them on!
“Grow attracted to your mate/spouse?” I’ve read so many comments that state how they weren’t attracted to their mates physically but eventually grew attracted to them over time. I am seriously and humbly curious. How do you “grow” attracted? Is it that you’re tricking yourself? Are you trying to convince yourself? (which seems to lead to denial) If your mate has a big stomach that you’re not attracted to do you train yourself to think big stomachs are the most attractive thing ever? How do you grow attraction?
Great explaination. The comments are also very nice. I would like to offer another side. What if part of the problem is you? Especially for people who are addicted to porn, or have a very high standard of what a partner should look like, or be like sexually. The lens of which you look for a partner would mostly consist of looks and sexual chemistry. What you’re looking for is someone to control, someone to be a trophy, instead of someone to love. You yern for that highly visually and sexually stimulating person because it’s the biggest attribute you can feel in a relationship. It’s easy to feel attraction, and sexual chemistry but you struggle to feel love. You can’t feel intimacy because you’re not intimate with yourself. You struggle to open up to people because deep down you’re scared of being vulnurable due to childhood trama. Furthmore you struggle to feel love because deep down you don’t love yourself. So you reach for the only thing you can feel and that is physical and sexual attraction. Phsyical and sexual attraction will get the relationship started but its 100% not enough to go the distance. It took me 13 years of dating to realize that my tramas from the past were stopping me from having a truly deep emotional and spiritual connection with my partner. But you must first have that with yourself. Otherwise you will keep reaching for the obvious things, physical, and sexual attraction.
There are guys that are such unattractive for me that I feel cringe when I imagine kissing with them – this means for me that there is no way to go into relationship, this will not work. But when I feel ok about kissing them, and having sexual relationship with them, but they are not super physically attractive (but of course they have great personality!) I think it comes with time that you find what exactly you like in partner’s appearance and what’s not, but you still accept those negatives. 🙂 maybe this can help anyone with this dilemma.
This really hurt my feelings, I’ve bin struggling with my relationship, I’m madly in love but the physical atraction isn’t there. It’s bin about a year and I’m trying to get my significant other to stop some bad habits and also work on their health to better their overall health and physical look to be the best she can be. I hope I’m enough motivation for her to change I’m not planning on leaving but I do want to see change.
I truly love my boyfriend his personality and everything when I first met him I thought he was the most handsome boy ever but now I’m in a relationship with him after 9 months I don’t find him as attractive as before but I love him and it’s really difficult and I don’t know what to do cause I could never break his pure heart like that and I go to school with him and I would have to see him every day Edit: I broke up with him but im now with someone new who is completely perfect in every way
I was dating this one woman for 7 months. The connection we had was great, had great communication, amazing experiences together and we understood each other on a very deep level. Her personality and connection we had went above and beyond my expectations. 3 months after dating her she told me she was not physically attracted to me. But she then told me that we should continue to spend time with each other, because once you build a strong enough connection with someone the the physical attraction issue goes away. I noticed throughout the relationship whenever I tried to be affectionate towards her she always avoided it. I ended up spending a couple more months with her and had a deep conversation with her regarding lack of affection only to find out she only sees me as a friend. The same day she told me that I decided to leave her that day because it was getting kind of ridiculous from my perspective. I told her I can’t be with her anymore and walked out of her life that day which she definitely wasn’t expecting. After I left couple weeks later she called me continuously and we talked about what happened. I also eventually wrote her a very detailed letter explaining why I had to walk our of her life. Since I left she still’s calls me to this day and we’ve had some conversations. Since then I never take the initiative to ever call her first because I’m just not motivated anymore. Relationships should be a healthy balance of give and take. I just do not see myself investing anymore money, energy, attention or time into a woman who doesn’t have chemistry with me.
This is some of the best advice I have found. Thank you so much! He feels so certain this is the Lord’s leading, heading toward marriage. And I don’t get the same sense from the Lord. How can God give conflicting instructions? Lol. I don’t know what to do but I just keep waiting on the Lord. Thank you for your message. This is a good man, and I don’t want to regret breaking up, but I also respect both of our time too.
I’m in a situation … I met a women /wife 26 years ago … she already had two kids both boys, and I had son from a previous relationship… the kids were really close in age. After 3 weeks she got pregnant, 9 months later there’s another baby boy. At the time I was a hard working single young man when we met …and honestly she had potential in the fact that she was educated, with a pretty face, and we got along great, but she was extremely persistent in a relationship with me but it was more due to the new baby . ALL OF THIS IS MY FOUGHT… I didn’t want to run from the situation, I felt I should stay and take care of my son and see what happens. Being young with no leadership or mentor to maybe see things clearly… 26 years later she still loves me to death, all my kids have graduated college and I’m just blessed with good kids … however because of my heart and not wanting to hurt anyone or mess up the happy home. We only been married for 7 years but she pressured me for at least 15 years and I understand why. At this time I’m still in the relationship but mentally and emotionally hurting I cry sometimes at night because I want to be in love … I’m not physically attracted to her sex is a chore because I don’t want to go through with it. I wasn’t physically attracted or in love from the beginning and now I’m paying the price. I love her and will give my life for her to live … but it’s the same love you have for your mom or siblings. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
No one is perfect and tbh you need to compromise at least something because everyone has flaws. The thing is if you’re willing to compromise a bit in sexual attraction and everything else is just fine then go for it. The compromise also could be in some other traits of him like caring, kindness, possessiveness etc. If you’re comfortable and you don’t mind certain flaws(pyshicaly or personality) in a person then stay.
It’s is simply not true that men are more visual than women. I don’t like that assumption at all, its very arrogant to say men care about looks more than women. The issue is that women care just as much about looks, and then have further requirements such as seeking the right character and personality in a man, being emotionally invested, and even things like career and job prospects. Hence why women are usually said to be choosy, while men are said to be competitive. I’m not saying whethet it’s good or bad, its just true.
i have a question. I told a guy that he was to old for me when he ask me to be his woman…. Theres no physical attraction i have for him…. We are not dating. However whenever I want a ride home from work he has been there to give me rides home when i get off from work… We work in the same building but do different things and get off at the same time. He is a sweet guy. But no. We when out for breakfast one time…. He treated. Then once i got paid i treated him out to eat for doing it to me. I dont fell sometimes comfortable that he gives me googly 👀. It seems like to me that sometimes im leading him on, when he ask can he coik for me and I. say yes. Should i not hang with him?
The analogy for me is despite having Japanese ancestry I hate the taste of sushi. It was one of those foods that I really tried liking but everytime I ate it, i literally puked! In the end I am happier trying other foods I enjoy while someone else who enjoys sushi can have my share. Why torcher ourselves!
I feel like when it comes to men physical attraction is very important, men can not proceed if there is no physical attraction, but women are a lot easier they can still get a long even if there is no physical attraction as long as the man threats them right, and also there is a lot of ways to bring that lost physical attraction like imagine ur life together with that man, pray for god to give u that missing spark and it will work out I promise, I wasn’t attracted to my man physical for the first 6 months of the relationship but I decided to stay because he was treating me with respect but later on I started overcoming the fear and all the things in my head and I started seeing him the most beautiful person in this world, like I say work out with ur mind and heart and also ask God it will work out 💯, I promise, Good Luck
I am in this situation right now that I allowed this amazing guy with a good heart to come into my life. I love how he is spiritually, emotionally and mentally. The only lacking is physical attraction. I can’t seem to really see myself being intimate with him for some reason. And it bothers me so much because he is a type of guy that is for keeps and ideal bf or partner but whenever I think of the physical aspect, I tend to feel turned off. I don’t know how to say it to him in such a way that it won’t hurt his feelings and won’t be offended. We met once in person and now on a Long-Distance Relationship. Is anyone here going through something similar or have gone through the same issue? how did you handle the situation? I would love to hear from y’all.
I am currently engaged to a man that I’m not physically attracted to. Im 37 and he’s 56. He has almost everything i prayed for in a man, but he his not good looking and doesn’t know how to dress. He also looks way older than his age and im not proud to go out with him. He has essential Trauma which causes his hands to shake like that of a very old man even when he’s eating and drinking. I accepted to marry because he is a good man and he’s always ready to do anything to make me happy. I felt with Time I will be able to help him with his looks but the more I try the more he looks unattractive to me. Our wedding was supposed to be this month but I told him that I will like for us to hold on. I’ve been extremely worried because of this because I’m thinking that I might be making a mistake by putting the wedding on hold. Also im not sexually attracted to him. I’ve never allowed him to kiss me and I know if we get married I can’t keep turning down his sexual advances.
This is a tricky subject for all. If the person you marry is attractive to you than it doesn’t matter if they grow old or fat because they gave you their best years. If old and fat is unattractive or vile to you than you should not married because that’s what people become. We are not bodies but souls. That’s why our bodies change with age but our souls live forever. That is why Christians always tell people to give their souls to Jesus Christ. Our souls never die.
My boyfriend and I just had a discussion he doesn’t find me attractive because we stop having sex. I want to wait till marriage start over and do things the right way he agrees but now he said physically im lacking and doesn’t even want to hug me anymore cuz the physical attraction not there😞😞 im broken what should I do? I always make sure I look apart everyday he comes home from work I always make sure to look amazing and smell amazing for him😔😔 just for him to say this.
My name is Maurice and I’m asexual and I haven’t had sexual attraction for almost 2 years now and I’m ok with this . I used to have physical attraction and romantic attraction bit nor anymore because I’ve been hurt by females all my life and it ghastly contributed to this. I’m happy about this too because now instead of worrying about meeting tge right woman someday. I can use that energy to concentrate more on God.
A lot of people emphasize the importance of kindness and shared values when saying what they want – or what I should want – in a relationship I don’t even mention kindness when asked for “what I want in a woman,” because it goes without saying if a woman is rude to me or anybody (especially my woman friends), I won’t tolerate that But if I say “I just want a woman who’s nice :/ ” I guarantee I’ll get hounded with “then date that woman over there! She’s nice! You said that’s all you want! You’re obligated!”
im a guy and my relationship is exactly that person described their relationship as. i started a relationship with a girl for her good qualities and without a bit of physical attraction towards her. Our relationship is also 2 1/2 years and there isn’t a day that passes by without me asking my self if it was a bad idea to start this relationship. i am confused, lost and constantly unhappy. I would very much appreciate if someone could give me some advice on this matter.
So I’m the stereotype good guy who is not physically attractive. I want to tell you its your right and it is and you should end the relationship. But as that stereotype I want to tell you, its painful that you all take 2 years and years to figure out it. You should have done it very earlier. Good guys are sensitive as well. You couldnt make a mind and women have that wonderful quality fall a guy and you took the person for 2 years before figure out what you want. which is physical attraction, the basic first step of any relationship. not cool.
If i am not attracted to a man o wont even kiss him or lead him on if im not sure. and i am not even attrated to must guys os very rarely i feel it. But physical attrattion is not all about looks. I dont expect a perfect man. I dont think he should look like any way. Just healthy. Healthy weight healthy physical state. I dont any spectatiins than him being healthy and clean.
This is exactly my story, i couldn’t kiss her at first amd after 3 years of relationship still can’t kiss her . But it’s super hard to divorce now because my emotions attached to her . So i decided to seperate my sex life with my emotional life . I am gonna have extramartial sex . But remain in love with her
Went to a party not looking to meet anyone already in a 36 year happily marriage . Was introduced to this guy we looked at each other at the same time N I can’t explain what came over me. I was totally mesmerized.I also feel he felt the same. Never ever would I act on it but can’t stop thinking 🤔 💭 about this person. Do U think 🤔 we could just be good friends? I know we will see each other again because of family business. What exactly is physical attraction is it a aura that comes over U 😂
I have lost the physical attraction fully and its been a struggle, almost 20 years past 5 is been struggle and each time i say i wanna be alone she dont let me, using guilt as a weapon also its down to me i need to be strong just to walk out no matter how sad its going to be hate it if i can come out it i will never want to be in a relation ever again