Marriage therapy is an effective method for reducing distress among partners, with a success rate of over 85% and lasting for the next five years. Studies show that 75% of relationships are restored with effective therapy sessions. However, couples counseling is not mandatory for successful marriages, and alternative approaches like self-help books and online resources can offer unique perspectives and solutions tailored to individual couples’ needs.
Couples therapy can help couples improve communication skills, leading to better understanding and decreased conflict. It is essential for both parties to commit to the therapy session, as it can have a significant impact on the relationship. Research suggests that marriage counseling positively impacts approximately 70% of couples who choose therapy.
It is not advised to seek marriage counseling if there is abuse in the relationship, as a charming, narcissistic abuser can charm the therapist. While there are no guarantees that couples therapy will save or improve a relationship, many couples find that a fair, experienced counselor can clarify issues.
Couples therapy can tackle the full range of relationship issues, from minor disagreements to major problems in communication. It is never too late to seek help, and both parties should be willing to learn, grow, and heal individually and as a couple.
📹 Make It or Break It: Couples Counseling
Andria and Demesio are a couple at their wits end. The Doctors sent them to sex therapist Dr. Chris Donaghue to see if their …
Can couples counselling fix a relationship?
Counseling helps you understand yourself and others, and offers tools and guidance. But it can’t change a person or a relationship if people aren’t ready to put in the effort. Arabella adds: Couples therapy helps couples create happy, healthy relationships. A therapist can help, but it’s up to the couple to work hard. For some couples, the best option may be to separate. Couples counseling can be an important part of the process.
Can a married couple fall back in love?
You can rekindle the spark. With time and effort, you and your spouse can fall in love again. Therapists often see couples who don’t feel as in love as they did before. Is it possible to fall in love again? Yes, but it takes work. Below, marriage therapists share advice for couples at this crossroad.
1. You may have to work at falling back in love.
Can a toxic couple heal together?
Yes, toxic relationships can change. But that’s not always the case. A toxic relationship can change if both partners are committed to overcoming it. This requires open communication, honesty, self-reflection, and possibly professional help. You both have to examine your actions and do inner work. If you or your partner isn’t willing to try, the relationship won’t change. If you don’t see any improvements, the toxicity may be too much to overcome. It may be better for you to move on.
Can it be too late to save a marriage?
It’s not too late to save a marriage until the divorce is final. Many couples have saved their marriages from divorce and rebuilt them.
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What is the No. 1 rule for saving your marriage?
The key to saving your marriage is communication. Other efforts to improve a relationship will likely succeed with this foundation. It helps partners build strong bonds and resolve issues easily. Nobody talks about the day after “happily ever after” in marriage. It’s not perfect like a fairy tale. Marriage is full of ups and downs. Over time, couples can lose their spark, leading to issues, separation, and sometimes divorce.
But there is hope. If you work together and commit to your relationship, you can fix it. Stay connected to learn how to save your marriage and have a happy life together. Some signs of an unhappy marriage are:
Can couples therapy bring back love?
If this sounds familiar, you might be wondering if lost feelings can come back. Marriage counseling or couples therapy can help you love each other again. You just have to work at it. In this guide, we’ll discuss how to bring love back into a marriage with counseling and signs that it’s working. How do you fix a relationship after losing feelings? Couples therapy won’t fix your relationship or make you feel better right away. You and your partner must work at it. With dedication and the right counselor, you can rekindle your feelings and your relationship! Here are a few tips to help you. Be ready to work hard. Couples therapy is hard. Therapy sessions can be hard. You’ll likely have difficult conversations and confront issues in your relationship. Your counselor can help you identify problems in your relationship and develop strategies to improve it.
Can couples therapy save a toxic relationship?
Counseling helps couples understand each other, solve problems, and see their situation differently. It can’t fix an abusive relationship.
Abusers may use what is said in therapy against their partners. Therapy can make you feel vulnerable. If the abuser is embarrassed or angry, he or she may make their partner suffer to regain control. Therapy is often seen as a safe place to talk. For an abused partner, that safety doesn’t extend to their home. Couples often go to couples therapy to fix their relationship. It’s hard for a couple to decide if the relationship is better if one is being abused. The abuser has all the power and can’t tell if the relationship is getting better. The abused partner can’t even say how bad or good the relationship is because of the abuse.
Can marriage Counselling help you fall back in love?
You may want to get help from a marriage counselor or coach to fall in love with your spouse again. Here’s how to find one. Many couples come to me for marriage counseling or Denver relationship coaching because they want to fall back in love with their spouse. As time goes by, many couples find that they’ve settled into a comfortable routine that’s nice but a little stagnant. The spark has dimmed. If you’re asking, “How do I fall back in love with my spouse?” or “How do I love my husband again?” I have some advice and strategies you and your partner can start using today.
Falling in love. Think back to the beginning of your relationship. What made you fall in love with your partner?
How to save a dying marriage?
20 Tips to Save Your Marriage. Don’t wait. Identify issues and goals. … Change. Take action. … Be kind when discussing conflicts of interest. … Be kind to your spouse. Improve communication. … Know your feelings. Can my marriage be saved? Causes of marriage to fall apart Tips to save your marriage How to find a couples therapist Conclusion Additional resources Infographics Ana specializes in relationships and family dynamics.
Choosing Therapy aims to provide accurate, actionable mental health content for our readers. We only cite reliable sources. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other reliable sources of mental health journalism. Read our full editorial policy for more information.
Can couples counselling save a relationship?
Couples who seek couples therapy are more likely to stay together. They also improve communication and relationship satisfaction. What is couples therapy? Couples therapy is short-term counseling. Therapists help couples resolve conflicts. An effective therapist helps couples understand their problems. They teach couples how to resolve disagreements. They help them find solutions. Marriage counselors help with many issues.
What not to say in marriage counseling?
Don’t ask your therapist to keep secrets from your partner. Secrets hurt growth and trust. Don’t say “you always” or “you never.” … Be open about what’s going on. Couples therapy can help you work through challenges. You can overcome obstacles together if you know what to look for. If you have relationship problems, you might want to look into couples therapy. A good therapist can help you and your partner get along better.
Couples counseling can make you or your partner feel anxious. It can be embarrassing to talk to a third party about your feelings.
Can counselling save a marriage?
Get help early to keep your relationship on track. If you and your partner are having trouble communicating, arguing, or losing the spark, marriage guidance counseling can help. Even if you don’t have any problems, couples therapy can help you improve your relationship. What if my partner doesn’t want to go? If your partner doesn’t want to go to couples counseling with you, therapy can still help you. Couples therapy helps people learn how to handle relationship problems. Sometimes you may feel more comfortable talking to your therapist alone. You may also learn how you are causing problems in your relationship. Your partner may be reluctant to start counseling for various reasons. Sometimes, the idea of therapy leads to an argument. Your partner may feel blamed for your problems. They might be afraid of what their friends or family will think. Some people have already given up on the relationship.
📹 Therapist Reacts to Couples Trying to Save Their Relationships
Licensed marriage and family therapist Stephanie Yates-Anyabwile, LMFT @StephAnya reacts to the Cut’s video “Can 30 …
Steph is so articulate, knowledgeable, and good at explaining to us what she’s observing and thinking as she analyzes these people. I’m surprised this article doesn’t have more views but hope it gains lots of traction soon. It’s well produced and super interesting! I see she does have a website so I’m definitely subscribing to both.
1.\t4) 0:00 Who is responsible for the breakup?\r 2.\t8) 3:23 Sexually, where can I improve?\r 3.\t15) 6:12 Where do you think we failed us?\r 4.\t16) 9:58 Why am I not good enough?\r 5.\t17) 11:05 Have you slept with anyone since we separated?\r 6.\t19) 12:53 Call a friend and ask them if we should get back together.\r 7.\t22) 14:41 Name three reasons we shouldn’t get back together.\r 8.\t25) 16:05 When did you fall out of love with me?
The woman who said she was angry because she feels they haven’t tried everything isn’t considering that being temporarily apart is one of those everything’s, maybe the other woman cannot find herself whilst being mixed up at such close proximity every day at the moment. Sometimes your idea of what options are left are not the only options but your perceived options that work for you. ❤
I had a very emotionally abusive ex, and about 8 years later I reached out to him and told him thank you. I said thank you for helping me realize that I had no boundaries and no self respect. It was a mature convo and he was shocked that I forgave him. We met up once just to hang / smoke, when I was in the area, and he said I was a different person and could see my confidence. (Which is an issue he had with me). I’m in a much healthier amazing relationship now, I am thankful of that ex for the lessons I learned. If you’re going through a bad breakup, just know that with self reflection, self love and care, that fairytale love can be yours!! ❤
I really liked this talk. Makes you see things differently. The lesbian couple was so sweet you can see the one in the red was in the relationship she really loves her. Her gf is the one having trouble with the relationship . Though she loves her and cares. But she’s dealing with something else that has nothing to do with the relationship yet its affecting the relationship
The married couple is me and my ex boyfriend. We are great as parents but the love had fizzled after three years of being together. I was pregnant during the beginning of the pandemic and I have postpartum depression. It got to the point where my mental health was hurting our relationship. I am a better headspace both physically and mentally. Emotionally, it’s hard that we still care for each other but just on different paths career wise and as individuals. Maybe one day, we can get back together but I am happy that we are co-parenting our beloved daughter. She is the reason why her dad and I have respect for one another. We had been best friends for almost six years before we became a couple. I am letting God put me on a positive path as a mother and an individual. God bless this couple. Stay strong and be the best parents that you can be 🙏🏾❤️
I honor and learn from my past. I forgive myself for when I did NOT show up for my partner in the relationship and I forgive him for when he did NOT show up for me. I release the stigma society has on desiring to end relationships that does NOT serve the authentic you. I acknowledge my fears and tears. I surrender to the unknown and step boldly into the future.
There are so many adults who have never had real intimacy. With real intimacy there is truthfulness, honesty that is in a safe place. You can trust that person and you appreciate it. Hearing your mate say why you love, respect and appreciate them . And it will show in the behavior. Being vulnerable is such a difficult thing for many people. I say, heal your hurts before entering a relationship.
So interesting to see couples try this! I did this with my ex but instead of one calm productive conversation across a table from each other it was random, sometimes snippy, texts sent at all hours for three or four months lol. “Where did we fail each other? Did you love her? Did you ever love me?” But it accomplished the same thing. We didn’t get back together but we’re best friends now and we can be honest about where things went wrong.
Damn this makes me feel all types of ways. I found it really level-headed, educational, healthy, and emotional. I couldn’t help but feel for the ones who were wanting to get back together with their exes, or still had feelings/a door open in their heart. I think while I’ve closed doors on past relationships in my head, I’ve always held onto emotional connections I’ve had with exes. Even just a sliver, a glimmer of love for a past lover like that fairytale thought “but what if we end up together?” Or maybe it’s just this article making me nostalgic and emotional that caused this thought to come up. I think that might be the case. Regardless, I really liked this article and it brought me inward emotionally once again, in a way I haven’t felt in a while. It’s like viewing my feelings and emotions from a really healthy lens, rather than the mess and wild way my emotions tend to run wild. It’s really growth oriented which is how I try to carry myself individually and in my relationships. Growing, developing, learning and becoming healthier than the start I was given. Love y’all out there on this same journey of growth and love ❤️
10:10 This hits home because my dad has the same issue of saying what he thinks the other person wants to hear instead of what he’s really feeling, and it causes so many conflicts between him and my mom, and also with me as his daughter. Neither of us want to push his boundaries, but he tends to not communicate his boundaries and then blow up when he’s hit his limit, and it comes out of the blue.
OMG I like your chanel so much, even tho found it about an hour ago. I don’t even in a relationships, and never was, but all this information is so helpful – i started to think, how this can be me, what triggers I have and how it can be explained to the partner right befor or after rough time. This article make me cry (interracial couple are so real and sweet, that I see myself in each of them, wanting to hear such things from someone, anyone)
You know most of the time people don’t break up because they don’t love each other anymore. It can be ton of different reasons. I remember my mother been with this amazing man for MANY years but my mother couldn’t have kids since her 28 yo because of endometriosis and had everything removed. They wanted kids together, they talked about adopting but it is not necessarily the same when you know he still can make a kid, have the same blood, genes, temper and look. She decided to break up so he can be a father. Maybe 2-3 years later he met a woman who looks exactly like my mom and they have a beautiful daughter together. My mom is very happy for him including me but I remember the pain she went through for letting him go. Sadly she never met a man like him after that. So like I said sometimes love have nothing to do with breakups.
this will probably never happen ( realistically) but i really wish i could do this with a recent ex of mine. we were in a short but incredibly tumultuous relationship. he treated me terribly throughout it but i loved him very deeply and it has affected me in many areas of my life. I don’t even want him back, but i would really want to be able to have a calm and honest discussion about each other and the relationship
I’m working towards being a therapist, and my hardest challenge is perusal my friends hurt in their lives and their relationships. And sometimes I wish they could have these conversations with their partners and themselves, so I think it’s great to see these conversations and to make a article about these conversations where it’s not always going to end how we want it to.
My ex husband…had to have the kissing conversation before we even got engaged. He was an aggressive kisser which was a complete TURN OFF for me. I showed him how to kiss me he adjusted and after that kissing him was great. There were times i would have to put my hand on his chest, back up from him, and tell him no thats too much. It was awkward having to tell him that….I didnt want to embarrass him or hurt his feelings but I wanted to enjoy kissing him and it worked.
You can tell that Stacy’s wife has to placate her, borderline fawning. I immediately noticed the dynamic of “angry black woman and crying white woman”, and that Stacy appears to rely on that in order to provoke comforting behaviours in her wife. I’m not implying that Stacy is racist, I am simply saying that even those we love the most can become a life raft in the desperate state of drowning. In other words, Stacy’s displays of emotions signal a comforting response in her wife, even to the cost of her wife’s own wants and needs. This will always lead to divorce because Stacy’s comfort is resourced from her wife’s contingency. It’s important to understand that it’s extremely unlikely that Stacy does this on purpose, or is intentionally milking contingent or fawning behaviours out of her wife. It’s normal behaviour in people who are depressed or at risk of depression. To Stacy’s nervous system, all that matters is her wife is present and signalling affection, no matter the cost. How it’s obtained is also irrelevant, even if it leans on harmful social ideologies like racial dynamics. A mediator like a relationship therapist acts more as an anchor of cognisance and a neutral voice of reason than anything else, as though the therapist is an environment in which both parties are socially conditioned to be aware against the conditionings or cycle of their relationship. I know that this will annoy people with how I’ve illustrated the nature of this couples relationship. I understand that some people do not see adults as a kind of sequel to children, or an extension of the child, but think of how a baby makes annoying and incessant noises and the noise ceases as soon as the need is met.
Are there questions like this to be asked while in a relationship or is it better to have these sorts of conversations when there are issues or if things don’t work out? (Personally feel like these kinds of conversations should/could also be had while in a healthy relationship) And if yes, what kind of questions should we ask ourselves?
I just had this happen we were in the car and basically I asked the 30 questions to understand that it was done and over with or if we could work it out he said no and said I’m not peaceful to him as well as dating and relationship with another woman so yeah I told myself it was too late but if he still loved me why not fight why let go I cried for days and said you block and delete and move on it sucks and hurts but there’s nothing wrong being alone until someone finds me.
I think professional get so wrapped in to the fact a couple has become very well versed in q words or phrase words that they don’t always carry the back meaning they sound like they do . The conversation just sounds nice … the lesbian couple yes you can feel the love but you also feel the fight for power and where as one is a leader naturally the other is feels scared they are being controlled.. I feel like one girl gives the other positive affirmation that she feels she always needed to hear and is trying to build her self esteem from it at the same time I feel like she’s addicted to up and downs arguing and making up .. I can sense a little manipulation . Really I wanted to focus note on the professional to remind them not to get to over excited over que words they need some explanation of what that means to them
I think all therapists especially marriage counselors need to be educated on narcissism. Sadly a lot of therapists can be charmed by the narcissist in the relationship therefore making the victim look like the crazy one. Narcissism is very common sadly, so a therapist needs to know how to look for those cues & read in between the lines.
Well, im not sure about the one couple. Not enough context. As someone who usually just agrees with or says what my spouse wants to hear, it’s because I’ve been conditioned into knowing he doesn’t respond well when I give my real opinion. It’s either NOT good enough, or not “thought through” or “I dont know what I’m talking 15:38 etc. Or he keeps flip flopping until he ultimately gets the answer he actually wants. Such as “should I buy a kayak”?! Then I hear “I wish you would just tell me something OTHER than what you think I want to hear. I’d rather have the argument than think you have to break to think for yourself”…! I OFTEN don’t talk at all when he’s talking now, because he doesn’t want a conversation. He just thinks he does.
What I would like to know is, if the CUT gets ethical permission to ask these type of questions and engage in these sort of what you could call experiments, from a psychological view as the therapist mentioned, some of these questions seem to be for entertainment which is counteractive. I also feel like honestly, closure is overrated and at times we may need to move on with our life instead of revisiting certain relationships, if the couples wanted to go ahead and try to fix their relationship, I fail to understand why they didn’t proceed with professional help instead.
I know this is an old article but if anyone can answer my question would be a great help. Is there a such thing as over communication? I tend to be very vocal about how I feel whether negative or positive but when I communicate the “difficult” things like sex, boundries, my emotions pertaining to different things it seems like my partner hears me but like shuts down, I don’t use an accusatory tone or have defensive body language, I’m usually speaking in a soft spoken submissive manner, but idk i just honestly don’t feel heard. Is there a better way to go about this? Better timing? Anything 😭
I have a friend who has been married to her wife for 15 years. She said that if at any point they felt they needed a couples therapist it would basically be the beginning of the end. She said if they want to each do individual therapy then that’s fine but for couple’s therapy it means communication has broken down and they may as well separate.
If this was me and my ex at the table and i said something truthful. He’s 100% slam his hands on the table and yell at me as loud as he could. But his #1 problem with me was that he never believed that i was being truthful….when i was truthful our whole relationship. I cant explain to you how much trauma that boy put me through. I wish i could bring him onto this show just to show everyone in his life that i wasn’t the liar and he was the manipulater
@11:29: Well, yeah, the CUT’s questions are definitely for “drama”, entertainment, views, likes, website subscriptions = MONEY. 💰Are we seriously expecting anything more? All of these websites serve one purpose, to make a dollar. These articles are on the same level as Married at First Sight, Love is Blind, The Ultimatum, etc.
I don’t think the blonde woman was being callous, maybe they didn’t know how to cross clearly the line from being friends to lovers? I might be wrong, but I think her ex partner showed that he sometimes didn’t know how to express his emotions, ideas and plans properly? Or maybe both of them didn’t get to understand each other for some reason, but my point is, that is good that she’s being honest without giving any hope Since there are still good feelings between each other, better up clarify where the grounds are and nothing else I wish him the best, I think he was more invested than her in the lovers’ aspect, while she cared more about friendship 🫂🫂🫂 The ladies couple was so touching, no matter if they’re together or not, I wish them the best and ik they’ll be good mothers for their child no matter what 😊
As a person who has a fear of becoming a single mom i would hate for my partner to wanna leave during postpartum depression!! God that would suck. We cant even weather our first storm? Why marry me then? Why HAVE KIDS WITH ME THEN?? We are going to have so many storms to weather and we cant stand the first test of time? Id have to die..
For the lesbian couple, the root cause of their issue was the emotional burden of the relationship. One party was feeling exhausted from carrying the load. The black lesbian doesn’t express how she feels, for whatever reason, and it leads to problems. The white lesbian says “I bring you down with my sadness and my anger.” The black lesbian did GLOSSED over that declaration, threw out a compliment bomb, and to got the hell out of that emotional landmine😂😂😂!!!! I saw it as manipulative. Make her feel good, so she will stop pushing. She was asked a question and deflected by tossing out a compliment. I first noticed this tactic in my work environment. I would have to address poor performance and suddenly the compliments would start flowing. Comments inserted about my teeth, hair, outfit etc. I know I am fabulous, so they aren’t telling me anything I don’t already know. However, for someone who is not attractive, by traditional beauty standards, a statement like this can redirect the conversation. Maybe I am pessimistic AF but that is what I saw.
So embarassing and demeaning for that guy…to have his love making skills called out by his more attractive ex partner, to have her make that face at him… This is why you can’t “be friends” with an ex. You have been so intimate…you can’t just be normal after that. She was being callous. She sees herself as above him. Poor guy.
I’ve always been interested in knowing what people think of a wife who leaves her wife because of the latter’s post-partum-related stress. I know what the general consensus for men who do that to their wives is and I am interested to know what it’s like through a queer lens. As a gay man myself, I hear a lot of talk from my friends concerning this topic, but it’s always been through the heterosexual POV.
@StephAnya I don’t understand how you could even suggest that the girl in the het dynamic is being coldhearted. She’s clearly super uncomfortable with this dude dragging all this up and confessing that he’s still in love with her when she thought they had both moved on to friendship. Like, that is not the good kind of surprise when he says he’s still in love with her, that is red lights flashing warning surprise, and it should be. I’ve seen guys who talk about girls like he does and they ended up being stalkers. She needs to carefully disentangle herself from him and put safety measures in place ASAP. He’s got entitled Nice Guy vibes screaming from his body language and expressions. Maybe he won’t go off the rails and will just drift around campus being a sad puppy, but better safe than sorry. It’s not hard to get a new phone number and if they’re students then she can move pretty easily at end of semester, if not sooner.
I feel like the blonde girl was done with her boundaries being crossed and her ex probably plays the nice guy, because that an be so exhausting and it’s easy to come off like an a-hole from the outside when others dont know the extent of the “nice guy’s” disrespect– OR it could be something completely different and negative on her side… lol
The black guy with the striped shirt and the girl with the yellow cardigan are major narcissists. Nice example of guilt tripping, blame shifting, playing the victim card. Also triangulation with friends (striped shirt guy), moving on quickly to show that I can do better than you (yellow cardigan girl). Her partner did not dare to talk about her emotions, because she had to walk on eggshells around her. The most important things are in the details, but very telling. I sincerely hope that their partners will never ever get back to them and get some work on their self esteem, because they deserve partners who respect them.
Leaving someone because you’re sexually not compatible is wild to me. When you really think about, the act of sex is such a brief and small amount of time throughout the course of a relationship and the older you get the less frequently you’re probably are going to be in the act. You spend maybe 15 – 30 minutes having sex on average (for most people) and that’s probably not daily unless you’re young with crazed hormones. That time in comparison to the time you’ll spend talking, and having other experiences is so miniature. Telling someone they don’t kiss well, or don’t give good “head” as a reason to leave just sounds immature.
I’m sorry but that one couple where the guy wanted to know if she slept with ppl he knew. I’m sorry but theres nothing to talk about anymore cause if that person gets drunk or we have a falling out and they tell me before you did we’re done. You don’t sleep with ppl both of y’all know with giving me the curtesy to choose to be or not be friends with that person.