The Come as You Are (aka Casual Dress Code) is a dress code that allows guests to wear casual but not too formal attire for business events. It is a special fall in the business look, meaning that attendees should not wear the desired attire for the workplace but for evening events. The dress code is also used in various industries, such as business, where it is used to indicate formal attire.
The Come as You Are dress code is a versatile option that can be used for various occasions, such as weddings, parties, and events. For women, the dress code is casual, with any length dress except for floor-length or ridiculously short. For men, lounge suits are acceptable, preferably in lighter colors than black. For women, any length dress except for floor-length or ridiculously short, dressy playsuits and jumpsuits are acceptable.
In addition to casual attire, the Come as You Are dress code also includes business casual, trade-show chic, town dress, urban chic, and city dress. Variations of this dress code include suits in brighter, lighter colors, and a mix of semi-formal or dressy casual.
In summary, the Come as You Are dress code is a versatile and inclusive option that allows guests to wear casual yet refined attire for various events. It is important to remember that the true goal of adding dress codes to an event is to create a professional environment and ensure that everyone looks their best when they enter the workplace.
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You have hit the nail on the head! My father always told me, if you’re not sure what you should wear, wear a dress. I’m 66 now and his words could not be more true. So many people today are slobs; the way they talk, eat and look. I refuse to fall into that mentality. Im sure some of your subscribers will come for me, but I stand by my words.
I’m born and raised in Tunisia, North Africa, and our weddings are very diffirent from what Anna talked about. In here, it’s very common that the guests (the ladies) wear very flamboyant, sparkly and showy dresses. I think it’s considered okay in here because the bride’s dress and make up are usually super flamboyant, so she naturally outshines everyone. These cultural differences are very interesting so thank you Anna for the amazing content. ❤️
Hi Anna, The best compliment I’ve received when traveling abroad is…you don’t look like a tourist. I’ve had tourists ask me for directions because they thought I was a native. I’ve always dressed appropriately for any situation. I’ve learned so much from you since finding your website a few months ago. Signed, Elegant lady in training 😏 😉 ❤
Last summer i worked as an hostess in a five star luxury hotel, you cannot imagine how many people came to dinner in flip flops and short trousers, i mean if you can afford a five star hotel stay maybe you can afford some nice clothes too! I was embarassed to ask them to go and change because there was a dress code…
I took my daughter to the Nutcracker ballet when she was little, meant to be a wonderful fancy and fun thing to do as a little girl. People were there in ripped jeans and stained white tank tops. We had a fun time anyway, and she looked sweet in her elegant little dress, but it really was odd to see ppl dressed that way.
As someone who works as a lawyer, I’ve seen some make the mistake of wearing an expensive designer/branded clothes to an interview. Subconsciously, recruiters see it as ‘well you don’t need the job clearly’. Also, I’d go as far as saying do not wear designer clothes to a corporate job at all! This will affect your chances of being promoted (from experience) and your relationship with clients, as you’re giving off a certain kind of image.
I had a heated conversation with a friend of mine one time about dress codes. I argued that it is disrespectful to attend an event wearing clothing that clearly violates the dress code. She argued that it is silly to have to follow a dress code, that it is old-fashioned and rude to impose a dress code. Needless to say, I am not close friends with her anymore. Living in Utah (USA), many people do not dress up for work at all. I am a scientist, but that doesn’t mean that I wear boring clothes (tee shirt and jeans) every day. I have more and more “Anna Bey” in my style: trousers, chic flats, cashmere sweaters and silk blouses, and nice blazer jackets.
Something that really crashes my “dress-up mood” is when I arrive at a nice restaurant and see that almost nobody is well dressed, they are all wearing t-shirts, jeans, and casual clothes and it really has made me wonder if I am the weird one or the exaggerated one because it seems I am the one who is out of place, it is really sad that nowadays you will feel weird when being a little more overdressed than everyone else. It almost makes you want to underdress.
I couldn’t agree more to this article! I was 18 when I moved to Germany to study medicine and I will never forget my first experience at the opera there. My friend and me were most probably the poorest students in the public and yet we were the only ones wearing a dress and pumps. Literally everyone else was wearing jeans and sport shoes. And the worst of all was their judgement in the eyes just looking at us. As if we were the awkward ones?!? This left such a trauma in my life, that 10 years later I still travel abroad to enjoy opera although I am still living in the same city.
I’m originally from Lithuania and I remember the first time I attended opera here in the UK. I was so surprised that not only the majority didn’t make that much of effort, but some were even sitting with coats through the whole performance. I think when attending theatre we’re celebrating art and someone’s incredibly hard work. Why not dress the part for this occasion? Loved the article. You look so gorgeous Anna. Made me want to buy a ticket to something special 💕 Always a huge inspiration for my own website
Thank you for talking about the lack of care and effort that so many people seem to lack in their appearance and behavior. I am 76 years old, I refuse to be “old and frumpy.” I take pride in looking attractive, I look much younger than my age because I take the time to look as good and vibrant as possible. I dearly wish more of my lady friends would do the same. It makes ne sad to see people not caring how they present themselves or maybe not feeling like they deserve any self care.
Yes Anna, My Husband took me to Las Vegas for my Birthday some years ago. We had a lovely suite at the Venetian. He had purchased tickets to see ‘Phantom’. He wore his Tuxedo, and I wore a formal tea length dress. We were stunned to see people standing in line wearing jeans, board shorts, tee shirts, etc. I still get upset thinking about it.
The opera/theater one REALLY gets me. If “class” is considered old-fashioned, I’m happy to wear the label. Appropriate and modest dress conveys respect for yourself, for others, and an awareness of the occasion. In my family, we always say we’d rather be slightly overdressed than underdressed. How you carry yourself matters.
I was taught in Music Appreciation classes that one should show respect to the performers on stage. Notice how the performers take care about their appearance…it is a sign of respect not only to the performers but also to the arts. Audience should always show the same by dressing with the same respect.
My best advice for being comfortable in formal clothes is this: Make sure that every piece fits you correctly. Not necessarily perfectly, but correctly. Nothing too big, and nothing too small. And this advice applies to every single piece of clothing being worn for a formal event, including the undergarments. If the undergarments don’t fit, you can still be very uncomfortable even while wearing clothes that should fit comfortably. Especially correctly fitting bras for ladies. A badly fitted bra is one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever worn. You cannot be comfortable in your own skin if your undergarments are uncomfortable.
Indeed you are right, here in Greece it is considered inappropriate to enter a church in revealing clothes. And i agree with it, even if some people rebel against this rule. Either you are religious or not, you should respect the place and the people around you by being modest.. As always,great tips Anna!☺️✨
This is the article I needed. I went with my friend to see “The Phantom of the Opera” over the summer in NYC and 95% of the people looked like they just left the gym and decided to catch a show. My friend and I both wore dresses, heels and small handbags. We looked out of place, but we felt good. My other friend who goes to the theater often on her birthday usually wears a gorgeous ballgown, because she says she wants to show respect to the hard work of the performers and it would be rude to show up in gym clothes or casual wear.
Thank you, Anna. The casualness of our society bothers me, too. Dressing well and appropriately is a sign of respect, both for yourself and others. It’s as if all the respect has been drained from society. People no longer seem to care how they present themselves and often don’t consider the appropriateness of their attire for the occasion. I think this has been caused partly by the mental illness epidemic in America (currently about 50% of us have a diagnosable mental illness, with anxiety, depression, and PTSD being by far the most common forms) and partly by the isolation and toxic self-focus the internet encourages. If you are isolated, self-focused, or feel disconnected from other people, you don’t think about how others see you. You have no motive for engaging in respectful behavior. I worked hospital mental health. We had to teach most of our patients how to respect themselves and others, and we were very strict. Lack of respect increased patients’ violent incidents, just as it does in non-patients. Ultimately, lack of respect is a form of hate and in most of us it”s also an expression of self-hate. We never talk about the epidemic of self-hate in America, but that’s THE reason most people are so miserable. Anna, articles like yours are good teaching tools for showing why respectful behavior, manners, and dress are so important. Keep up the good work!
I’m from Switzerland but have been living for 35 years in the USA. You are absolutely right about dressing accordingly for the occasion. Here in the states the American man is unable to separate him self from his base ball cap no matter what the occasion. I think Americans are quite known over the world to be bad dressers and some times I think they dress theme selves just so they don’t have to walk around naked.
I was invited to a wedding, and I was going to wear something like the light blue wrap dress😍 While searching for wedding guest dresses, I saw too many dresses with slits on the waist and exposing too much cleavage, and a lot were just slips that are better off layered under a blazer than worn on their own. It was just tough to find something decent that was also charming!
Well…I have a good example of dressing inappropriately. I attended an “out door wedding” a few years back and I was completely mortified by the attire of one of the close personal friends. She arrived on her bicycle wearing cycling shorts and and a t-shirt. Every one thought she had packed appropriate clothing to change into but she was not carrying a bag of any kind. She popped off her helmet and nonchalantly entered the wedding tent. The worse part of all this, is that she was in many of the wedding pictures. Every one else was in summer garden attire and she just stood out like a sore thumb….the sad part is….I don’t think she realised her mistake.
Dear Anna so happy you addressed the “theatre dresscode” because even if it not formal it is a SOCIAL event and you have to be proper. I love going to musicals and ballet, and looking nice at such events it makes it even more special!!! Also, people complaining they have to cover up when going into a Church as their are wearing mini skirts and crop tops. However, going to othe religious buildings they respect the dresscode. That is so disrespectful to Christians. 😥 29 and on my way to become a lady thanks to you 🥰
This is a very important vid, Anna! I am so sick of people showing up at funeral home calling hours or churches looking like they just changed the oil in their cars or just left the strip club. How much does it take to spend a few extra minutes to put on something that is more dressed up and respectful to the situation. And if that means you are, in fact, a tiny bit less “comfortable”, well, too darn bad. It’s so incredibly sad how slovenly everyone has become. It’s not limited to a particular country because it’s everywhere!!! I can say I saw a bit of hope in a couple of designer fashion shows this Fall. Ralph Lauren’s especially was all pure elegance and a bit of a throwback to the good parts of the 1960’s (Audrey Hepburn looks, etc.). If I were younger, I would start a business teaching the 20-something women and men how to dress up elegantly even for casual situations. Once they do it they will experience that incredible great sense of niceness that comes along with it. Those peers of theirs who might mock what they’re doing will begin to change themselves because it just makes you feel a little extra special. Keep up the “elegance” Anna. It’s very important and so, so needed. God Bless!!!!❤
Yes it’s amazing how people just don’t care how they look anymore and very sad actually. Back in the 40s/50s people really used to take pride in how they looked and they never left the house looking sloppy. I think we can take a lesson from them. Not saying we have to dress in that style, just start taking pride in how we look and making sure we are appropriate for the places we go. Great article Anna 😉
My parents were not rich or into society but they always taught me manners and to dress propperly according to the occasion no matter the budget. Specially for church and restaurants. It is all about common sense and respect for the other person or culture! Thank you for this excellent reminder Anna.
I was raised in the south with good manners and a certain etiquette. Most of the time, I’m shocked by what people are wearing or not wearing! I think we’ve gotten too comfortable and most of us have forgotten what is appropriate clothing for certain events. The other problem is that parents aren’t teaching their kids manners or etiquette either. Your articles are so great and totally helpful!
Thank you!!!! 🙌 100000 times agree! ❤❤ Wearing a sweatpants or frumpy clothes to the opera, or elegant restaurant is a just sign of lack respect and being uneducated and ‚simple’ person. This is sad and disturbing how people show no effort, neither respect to themselves, others, art and public in general. Especially after pandemic, it seems that standards in society dropped so dramatically 🙄🙈😢 why we accept this trend of wearing messy, dirty or inapropriate clothes?!! 🤯
I spent a year in Berlin in the mid-seventies, and went to the opera many, many times. The dress code was absolutely evening dress, which I was delighted to comply with. It was also fun travelling to the opera via the U-Bahn, with all the opera-goers in evening dress mixed in with the commuters in their work or office clothes. Fond memories!
I twice had people come to a job interview in shorts, once the man was even wearing flipflops! I work in a job where we can be (smart) casual on most days and dress up for events and meetings. However shorts in a job interview context definitely gives the impression that one doesn’t care nor took the time to prepare.
You know I think I lot of “discomfort” in a lot of clothes (not shoes, shoe construction can be very uncomfortable for people who aren’t used to high heels) comes down to people not understanding their actual sizes after living in super stretchy sweats and buying clothes that are too small, short or tight. And also bad posture. If you are slouching in a stiffer fabric, it will pinch, it will pull at the neck because it’s not supposed to stretch.
Totally agree Anna. I think most people have developed a “who cares” attitude which they don’t realize makes their way into every area of their life. I forget if it was Jim Rohn or Tony Robbins who said “how you do some things is how you do everything” meaning you can’t have a who cares attitude in some areas and a 100% attitude in other areas.
Dear Anna, how right you are. I keep seeing people very often, who either have no idea about dress codes or then they think ” I need to be comfortable “. I used to know someone, who often said she wants to feel comfy and free. No make-up, no style, nothing. Her basic idea was: ” Why should I bother? If people do not like the way I look and dress, they do not need to meet me. This is my natural look,- take it or leave it.” How can it be made clear to a person already 33 yrs old, what appearance means? Thank you again for an interesting and extremely needed article. Stay happy and safe.
Hoodies are in fact the tiktok dress code, probably, this is the same app where people post thirst traps and lewd dances. But I think that this sort of image we see online has only further normalized how people are so casual nowadays and don’t dress up when they’re supposed to. It’s really sad actually, but that’s why we’re all here, to NOT be like that lol
I am delighted to see over a million subscribers which hopefully means that over a million people will start dressing properly. Anna, you are such a class act, no young women should be allowed out in public without completing your course, I am a grandmother and can no longer go to the beach with my sons as the trend is thongs ? or whatever it is they don’t wear !! with their entire backside exposed, its revolting
I’m so glad you talked about these common sense dress codes! I thought it was only in America that people have no sense of what to wear even on a daily basis! People wear things that wasn’t made for that purpose! Soccer shorts are not worn for sports! Bike shorts aren’t worn for cycling! Yoga pants, well you get the idea! 😂😂
Anna I love you! I agree with the Opera dress code. My mother and I had a tradition of going to the Nutcracker during the Christmas season. We loved the experience because it was a wonderful time to get dressed up and behave gracefully. The first time I got a let-down with live events was when I went to see “O” in Vegas. The tickets were over $200 yet people dressed horribly. They also drank and ate in the seats while getting up often to get more snacks. So tacky. I resist so many live events now due to the lowered dress requirements.
Thank you Anna 🙏🏼♥️🧿 Etiquette has gone out the window nowadays. I’am 33 & I can’t fathom the mentality that the elegant & classy dressing, Is looked at as if it’s what you should wear in your late 40-50’s. For example the class Anna shows here. It’s like, more flesh the better & EVERYTHING is sexualised nowadays. It’s just ridiculous, I watch your articles with my daughter & shes 11. She love’s you & looks forward to perusal these article’s. As she learns in a more detailed manner, she learns how to carry herself & talk too in a fun way. Thank you for being so inspiring, there’s not many people out there with platforms that do what you do, to make positive change. At funeral’s, if I’am honest I just wear elegant pearl earrings, my wedding rings & that’s it. Depends on whatever culture funeral I’am attending. I make sure I ask/research! what is worn out of respect & make sure I wear what other culture’s do. Once I borrowed my friends headscarf & asked her to put it on correctly for me. As I didn’t know & I didn’t want to disrespect anyone Simple. I love visiting different places of worship when we travel & depending on whatever country & place of worship, my husband & I make sure not only he & I, but our children are dressed appropriately. Even our children who are 13 & 11 ask to do so & research prior to going away too, which is lovely. As for Oprah I’ve always wanted to go & I noticed some people don’t dress how I thought. So I think, when I go I hope if I dress up I don’t get starred at, as if there’s something wrong with me.
I guess I am old fashion but I love the 30s and 40s where people wore really nice clothes all the time even hats. Men wore suits and women wore suits also or dresses and heels with hats. I always have people tell me you look so nice today where are you going?? I’m not going anywhere. I just step up my game because life’s too short not to look great!
I moved to the USA recently, and this type of things have been a full shock to me, I was taught to wear appropriate clothes for the ocassion, even if it is going for groceries, you can’t do that in your pijamas or home clothing. But now living in Arkansas everyday people stare at me and judge me because I don’t wear sweatpants and sweatshirts for everything. Even if it is just a simple dress and pretty flats, they would look at me weird. I know I’m doing the right thing, but being in a different country without friends, sometimes you really want to fit in.
7:33 I remember that when I was little they didn’t let into the Milan cathedral if you weren’t wearing appropriate clothes. If people wore a top, for example, they would give a plastic cape to put on their shoulders. Today this doesn’t happen anymore, but for me it was right. In a sacred place you have to be respectful. If you want to go to churches or similar places you have to dress in a certain way.
I was in New York city right before the plague hit. We were there for Christmas. We went to the theater, and I was so delighted to be in New York City, going to the theater. And then I became so disappointed by the lack of the dress code. Thank you for addressing this issue. I despair for the younger generations, because they don’t have the guidance that will allow them to enjoy proper attire for special events.
Wonderful. There are so few guides out there for young men and women – I am so happy you included what to wear for an interview. I think one point that needs to be made is that people have forgotten to respect themselves; to enjoy looking their best. To say “I’m worth it ” and I deserve to make this a special occasion by wearing something flattering and not lazy. I do believe more articles like this that are not fast fashion – but simple guidelines to looking polished and ‘worth it’ will benefit so many people who simply don’t know where to get this info. Thank you for empowering people !
In Texas it’s super common for people to show in in tshirts and even camouflage to a funeral. Unless the deceased’s family had set a form of quirky attire because the deceased made a request for their service, I do t think it’s appropriate to show up like that. I have felt very disrespected as family when a loved one had died and people showed up like they were going for a run. *This doesn’t include someone who is wearing scrubs or a uniform if they just left work to attend the service.
Hello and thank you for yet another well prepared lesson on etiquette. I, too, believe people nowadays are in need of clear, simple examples and also plenty of reminders that there are far better choices for dressing than the so called trendy laid back style. The older I am the more sensitive I find myself to be concerning what feels appropriate and what feels off. Thank you again for all your efforts in educating us to a more elegant existence and helping us build our own intuitive knowing about it.
THANK YOU! This is such a confusing circumstance🤷🏼♀️. Why it is that dressing appropriately for the place and occasion is now regard as dressing up?. It is just dressing accordingly… what a shame it is to see the costumes of dressing accordingly been lost by this new trend of crop tops and yoga pants a with sneakers. 🤦🏼♀️
Anna, I love what you said about holy places! It annoys me when people come to church to receive the sacraments and at the entrance you can see that they do not come here often because they have very short dresses and no sleeves. I wonder if it is ignorance or thinking that no one will tell them how to dress… In my country most people know about the rules in the church, and if not, the priest says it in the preparation for the sacraments.
PLEASE do a vlog on how to choose dress code verbiage on wedding/event invitations! I went to wedding recently where the dress code was “casual chic”. I chose a simple tea length dress with sleeves and kitten heels. The event ended up being a farm, muddy/grass location for the ceremony and most people had on jeans. That is NOT casual chic!!! Please help the ladies with this!!
So many of weddings we have attended in the last 10 yrs. many young women act like and dress like hos. The thing I absolutely hate the worst is when so many dance with a drink. I don’t want that crap on my clothes. And the dance floor becomes dangerous. Pigs I tell you. So many spend so much on these extravagances and then act like slobs. No self respect.
People this days… Saw a purple spagetti-straps mini dress with floral print on funeral recently🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ As about Opera, my husband always wears the tuxedo, and I wear an evening gown. Might be too much, but you know what, noticing how grateful opera stuff looking at us makes it worth to put an effort to our looks. And it feels different))
Regarding church attire. I think Americans culture of informality has extended to church too. Here in Texas people dress down in many Protestant churches. I went to a Christmas Eve service at a Protestant church, and I wore a skirt and blouse BUT I was the ONLY woman not wearing jeans!! There were 250 people there and I felt incredible out of place, but also more appropriately dressed for the occasion.
Great article – so true everything you say! Thanks for the tips…my biggest footwear pet peeve is seeing people wear rubber flip flops anywhere except at the beach…and even at the beach I think they look cheap and gross…but wearing flip flops in the street, to work (!), restaurant, even fast food place just makes me cringe…
Anna, thank you for the on-point advice that is much needed in modern times. This is one of my favorite and most generally applicable etiquette articles on youtube. I appreciate your focus on manners that demonstrate respect for others and the situations we are in. The dress you are wearing is stunning! Bravo all the way around!
I love and appreciate the fact you explained with examples of the mistakes/ what is inappropriate as well as what is acceptable and appropriate. Thank you so much Anna, you help upgrade us. And a special thank to you, for addressing my request for suggested dress codes for special occasions(and I’m sure many would have requested this.. a much needed one! )👏
My late husband’s son asked if I minded that his mother wanted to attend my husband,s funeral. I told him that since it was in a church, she was welcome to come. She wore bright red, along with red lipstick and made sure to come up and introduce herself to me. The only person who looked a fool was her.
Recently my brother-in-law started a relationship with a woman who is always underdressed for events. I am horrified that he started to dress like her at every event now as well (matching outfits 😬)! Matching sweat pants and hoodies for everything, which is not like him at all!! Should I be offended that I invited them over for dinner and wine and they came underdressed like this or am I overreacting? I’m happy they feel comfortable in my home, but I put in so much effort to clean and prepare the meal and source the wine that it feels disrespectful how they show up dressed like it’s their own living room. As always, I appreciate your guidance Anna ❤️ Hoping to visit the Vienna Opera soon with some friends and use your advice!
I live in rural Canada. My lifestyle is definitely casual. It consists of camping, fishing, hiking, curling up over winter by the woodstove with daily walks to break up the monotony, and a trip into the one grocery store in town once a week. I’ve started wearing my nicer casual clothes even for walking the dog. No one sees me, but it’s a mood lifter so why not? Thanks for your website. It has been fun to dream of operas and events to dress up for.
Love these tips! I feel compelled to say, though, that tip #6 made me chuckle a little. I can definitely see how it can be jarring seeing people dressed so casually. There are 2 point that come to mind in “defense” of it. First, part of the charm of TikTok is feeling like you’re seeing a snapshot of someone’s unedited life, like you’re right there with them. Second, TikTok is largely filled by gen Z. They’re all still so young and not necessarily aware yet of how their clothes can affect them.
I am from Vienna and I am so embarrassed by your observation! It’s true, hardly anyone here dresses formally for the opera anymore. There is a last bastion of a few of us old-school Viennese who do, and it just hurts to see everyone else fall prey to this forced casualisation. It’s yet another part of our local culture that is being eroded by a faceless, consumerist, global non-culture that has already seized large parts of the Western world.
The church step (#4) is totally true. I live in Puerto Rico, which is an archipelago, and it is very common for us Puerto Ricans to go dressed up to church (in some areas that are poorer it’s not that common but people still try). However, many foreigners (mainly Americans) have been moving here more often and I get appalled at how they go dressed to our churches. I don’t know if they view our territory as some jungle but most of them go dressed up in shorts, flip fops, leggings, tank tops and beach dresses. I find it disrespectful because even though they might view Puerto Rico as a touristic place it’s still a place where people live and have rules.
As a 20 year old who has to go to fancy restaurants and high end events frequently, the only thing I’m comfortable with is blazer and smart pants to be honest. So that’s why i have a variety of different blazers for different occasions – different colors, some cropped, some more formal more casual. I feel like blazers can be quite versatile as I do see at least one blazer in all sorts of colours being worn at every event regardless of the occasion. Blazers don’t always need to look like a job interview outfit, because these days there are pastel colored blazers from Sandro or Maje, or nice checkered cropped blazers from Zara, not all blazers are super formal these days, and you can also choose what to wear inside a blazer from a casual t-shirt or a nice blouse depending on occasion
I don’t know when it happened, because in the 80s, when i was in my 20s, I had clothes for all occasions. I had career clothes, cocktail dresses for after 5, I had dresses for theatre, and the Race track and the boat club. I had formal and evening. I had clothes to wear to my sons school events, i had clothes for casual or weekends and i had clothes for the nightclub. I even had clothes for the gym and aerobics class, by the way they weren’t sweat pants. Sweat pants were for around the house. Somehow the WORLD has turned into a grungy thoughtless overly relaxed and even slovenly bunch of human beings. They just dont care anymore. I attend church and i can understand unbelievers wearing inappropriate clothing, but professing believers dresses like hoochys well thats a different story all together! I love this article, because I dont care about how times change we shouldn’t throw out every rule and standard. We should aspire to look our best.
Good job Anna. Thank you for this article. Thank God I was raised in a family with manners. The first thing they taught me, and always remind me, is respect. Respect myself first. Get up, take a shower, wash your teeth and brush your hair and wear clothes with no creases on them, not your pjs. Respect the others. Respect the place and the time. Is that so hard nowadays? Is that so complicated? Why? I have an answer. It’s because people are lazy, and find reasons to justify their laziness, because they don’t like to admit it that they are lazy and disrespectful. The way someone dresses, is the way he presents himself to the world, without saying anything. How hard is that to comprehend?
My friend’s boyfriend dressed up for Life of Pi in London this week and he was made fun of by his best friend who is the guy that wears his bin bag coat for the entire show :/ the reality these days unfortunately. I have a hard time convincing my own boyfriend to dress up sometimes too. He loves comfort and getting ready quickly 😛
Thank you for making this article. I went to watch Nutcracker ballet performance late last year. The theatre was packed. The lady sitting next to me had a bit too much drinks and the whole time I was worried she would get sick. She was also wore flip flops and umm beach attire like outfit for the theatre. Anyway the performance was phenomenal.
Thank you for the wonderful advice, Anna! Dressing appropriately for life events and in places of worship is all about respect–to that occasion, culture, or belief, as well as to yourself. People who make no effort for special outings, such as theatres or the opera, are really missing out. Getting ready and wearing something out of the ordinary adds so much to the magic of the event and honors the artists. You CAN be comfortable and classy at the same time.
Great article! Dressing appropriately is a lost art. *sigh. It’s really about respect. Glad to see some of us still abide by that. I’m visiting Crete this winter and deciding what to pack. So far I have dark blue wide leg jeans, a long wool knit skirt, cashmere sweaters, a cape coat, and walking boots. We will be visiting museums, important sites, churches, and wineries. Last time I was far too casual and felt awkward. Won’t make that mistake again.
Anna, of all your wonderful vids, this is THE MOST IMPORTANT!! I go absolutely nuts when people come to weddings and funerals looking like slobs. For God’s sake, if you can’t learn what respectful attire is and put in a modicum of effort, then stay home. Thanks for making it perfectly clear what should NOT be the norm, especially in America.
Watching your articles make me feel so validated. LOL The things you say on your website are things that my mom and grandmother drilled into my head as a child. I’m always made to feel like i’m ” stuck up” because I wouldn’t dare walk out of my house with pajamas or a sleeping bonnet on. I had to pause the article and say ” WOW” when you mentioned Tiktok because my mom has ALWAYS told me that the internet is still being in “public”, so you want to make sure you look presentable. Her logic is that you never know who you will run into or meet when you go out in public. I was an actress at the time, so she reminded me that I could accidentally run into a casting director or agent or something, so I need to be 100% on point. Same with tiktok/ the internet. You never know who might be perusal those articles. I feel second hand embarassment when people post tiktok article and they go viral and end up being featured on the news or on a large platform and thy’re filming themselves or a loved one in a terrible state (ex.half dressed, in pajamas, in underwear, extremely ill and/or in the hospital.)
I agree with most of your points, and it’s true that formal clothing can be just as confortable as hoodies and sweatpants or leggings, but what would be the elegant alternative to sneakers when you have a lot of walking to do around the city? Not everybody can afford to travel around by cab or uber all the time and driving is not convenient at all in most big cities/downtowns…
I come from Poland, I live in Canada, remember when first time went to my local church and I saw people coming with shoping bag from Walmart in one hand and coffee in other, wearing flip flops and t-shirt . I was shocked. People in my back country they have special clothes for church. My mom called them “church clothes “. Never saw people drinking coffee in church during holly mass.
When I was so much younger, I wore an ivory lace dress to a wedding, and I’m surprised that my Momma didn’t say anything, or the people at the store that I bought my dress from, and I told them what I was looking for. When I found out years later that I had made an error, I was so embarrassed! It was a lesson learned. I also go to this upscale restaurant, and I can’t believe that people show up there in flip flops, offensive shirt, looking just plain sloppy, and this is an upscale, elegant restaurant too! I always make sure that I’m dressed well for the occasion, even if I’m told that I didn’t need to dress up, I do.
Hi Anna, I haven’t missed one article in the past two years and I am really happy for that. About the topic churches in Greece, those people that entered there were mostly Greek. And is not about some disrespect, people go for vacations and they wear as les clothes as possible in 40 degrees. I am talking out of my personal experience, every year all my childhood memories as.. exploring the island. And yes we were entering the church in our bikini 3x per day🤷🏼♀️. Without never see the point of view you just share. I am impressed.
Anna, I love your articles. I dress up for the theater and I am in shock to see that most do not I once was in Europe and saw this amazing church I had a nice outfit but my top was sleeveless. And the curated of the church was really nice to inform me that I need to have something to cover my arms. I felt so embarrassed but appreciated how nice he was to explain to me.
I practically stood up and shouted about the “no sleeveless blouses” for women! I almost thew shoes at my own TV when several female American press secretary’s (in both parties) wore sleeveless blouses at the lectern giving a press conference!!! NO! Ronald Regan wouldn’t even remove his suit jacket I the oval office, let’s have respect!! I do attend a rather casual America church and often wear a sheer sleeved blouse over a tank top because it’s 100 degrees out, but I draw the line at cleavage, low cut, or spaghetti straps ( a little sweater does the trick often to add some material which can be removed upon exit). Nice article. Thank you! One thing I loved about living in Paris is everyone at that time dressed nicely. Wedges dresses for the women and pants and collared shirts on the men. It was nice.
I feel you, I had similar experiences especially your topic about the opera and going to a fancy restaurants. Sometimes I feel shamed and made me questioned myself, am I overdressed or the people here are the ones who is wearing inappropriate outfits? I think people these days forgets about the proper etiquettes. By the way, thank you for taking the time to continue educating the women in our society and the new generations.
I used to go to Opera and Theater in my modest country and we would all get dressed well and appropriate. Once arrived to Germany I saw a very very modest way of dressing in the streets and offices, and I don’t remember who, but someone told me it applies the same for Art gathering. I was invited to Opera in Frankfurt and I didn’t want (and couldn’t, as I was traveling and didn’t have much stuff with me) to be overdressed, so I kept a casual style. When I entered the Alte Oper hall and I saw all the public elegant, sophisticated, and respectful to this event, I felt great that I was in the right place, and in the same time I felt embarrassed that I wasn’t on the same page as everyone. But I learned the lesson: now I prefer to keep my style everywhere, and choose to be overdressed (if I don’t have enough information for the event), than underdressed.
You hit the nail on the head Anna I really love your articles and my styles have changed for the better. I also recently visited a church an dressed formal as I usually do. But I was so shocked to see people in flip flops and shorts and girls in spaghetti tops and slippers and the men didn’t even remove their caps once they entered the house of God. I found it extremely disrespectful.
Great points as always. The way I look at it, getting dressed up is usually half the fun. I really look forward to events where I get the chance to wear a beautiful dress. I also only select shoes that not only have a heel but are comfortable and flattering. People are selling THEMSELVES short by not dressing up a bit, in my opinion. While flexibility is nice, I don’t know why things are getting soooo casual. Sometimes you even feel funny dressing up nowadays, which is really a shame. In my mother’s day, most people didn’t have a lot of money but they dressed beautifully and appropriately in their best whenever attending an event, flying somewhere, etc.
Thank you very much Anna for mansion this very important things. Yes,I have saw a plenty people who are disrespectful for the high level place’s, by not properly outfit. I am shocking as well when I see it. There is a specific dress code in every kind of places, and we should to respect it,and also to continue protect the culture. We in Poland say,, how people are see you, that they describe you and treat you.” Based on the Tiktok, unfortunately I don’t have an profile on this platform. However I do observe some movie,and I cannot to believe for this lshocking low level as this people are presenting. I understand that people with very high value of them self do no need to provide and fight obout popularity. I am glad you have the determination to provide a plenty important things. With plenty positive energy 🤗❤️🍀🌹
I do completely agree with you, Anna, in just about all the points and examples you shared in this article. For years I’ve been describing our world as a “come-as-you-are-world”. While I appreciate things being a bit more relaxed and casual than they were 60-70 or more years ago, too many people are just plain lazy, tacky, and disrespectful to the world around them in this regard. I hope that I can take comfort in the possibility that people who can choose to raise their dress standards and don’t, simply miss out on the rewards enjoyed by people who DO make the effort. 🙂
Hi Anna, it happend to me this summer in Milan. I went to visit Duomo di Milano. I was wearing a midi skirt with a blouse. I was allowed to go in like this. However, there were women with spaghetti straps or reveling clothing and they were given some coverups on the entrance. The coverups were quite transparent, but it was something. I have to admit that I did not think ahead, when I was dressing at a certain dresscode for the Duomo. And I guess a lot of people do not and it is a shame. I really hope more people will see your article and learn something
(Sorry for my bad english) I’m 13, next month I’ll be 14, and I don’t know how to do my hair, I don’t know how to do my nails, I don’t know how to do my makeup, and I don’t know how to dress properly. I feel terrible, when I go to school all the girls are well dressed, wearing makeup and with nice nails and hair, I don’t have any friends and I have social anxiety.\r I’m trying to change the way i live and trying to learn how to take care of myself, it’s been hard, but now that I found this website I’m perusal the articles non-stop, and I’ve learned a lot of things that I didn’t know, I have a long road ahead of me to become an elegant woman, but with the help of these articles my path seems clearer.
I went to the Vatican in 2004. A group of women who spoke with British accents were attempting to enter the church wearing what could only be described as club clothing. When the staff wouldn’t let them enter, they weren’t happy, to put it mildly. We ran into them again at St. Agnes in the Piazza Navona,, where they actually entered and were up around the altar, touching things and loudly conversing. It was 2004, so it was before selfies were big, but they managed to be completely obnoxious otherwise.
I’m glad you brought up the topic of dress code in the restaurant. Like you, I’m frustrated at how sloppily some people dress in restaurants. And I don’t understand. When I eat in a good place, drink good wine, and be served by well-dressed and trained waiters, respect dictates that I take care of my dress. It’s just a matter of style.
I was given a shawl to cover my shoulders when I visited the Saint Francis Basilica in Assisi. It was a long dress but part of my shoulders were bare. That’s when I learned that in Italy you need to cover your skin to enter churches. And in Greece I was given pants to cover my legs at the Agio Saint Lukas Monastery. My dress had long sleeves but it was above the knee. My friend also had to cover. I agree with the dress code for opera and theaters. I see it all and it does not go together. But I also want to be sensitive to the fact that some folks can barely afford the ticket and they also deserve the soothing effect of the performing arts. Love your articles Anna!
I have many of the same pet frustrations as you. I feel that my style is classy and put-together but everyone else is sloppy and doesn’t seem to care, even down to just personal hygiene! However since so many do that, take the lazy way I’m then made to feel like the schmuck for taking time & effort on my appearance.
Gosh, I attended an art gallery opening in a place surrounded by luxury and designer stores, where we were offered wine and canapes, and people attended wearing the first thing they picked up from their floors I swear. And I don’t mean only gen Z, I mean everyone. What is wrong with people nowadays? Of course I was the best dressed and everyone noticed.
You’re asking the same questions. Why don’t people try? Everyone just rolls out of their home in their crappy clothing and it’s distasteful and disrespectful. The part I find the most interesting is that these people often have put a lot of thought into their outfit lol They are trying to hard to look like they don’t care, instead if just selecting a wardrobe that actually looks like you do.