Jett V., a 31-year-old Catholic woman, and her husband waited to have sex for six years before getting married. According to The Knot 2021 Engagement and Jewelry Study, the average relationship length before getting married is two or more years. Dr. Busby claimed that couples who waited until after marriage rated their sex life better and reported that their marriages were more sacred.
Waiting until marriage honors the biblical definition of marriage and acknowledges the sacredness of this union. By waiting until marriage, individuals can build a foundation of trust, emotional intimacy, and commitment before engaging in sexual activity. In the New Testament, Jesus speaks about marriage and waiting until marriage in various places. In the book of 1 Corinthians, Paul says that it is better to have sex before marriage.
Waiting for marriage means inexperience, as neither you nor the partner knows what they want or like yet. Inexperience means neither you nor the partner knows what they want or like yet. Outercourse lowers your risk a lot. People choose abstinence to: wait until they feel ready for a sexual relationship, wait to find the right partner, enjoy their partner’s company without having to deal with a sexual relationship, focus on school, their job, or hobbies.
Overall, 20% of Americans said they would wait until marriage to have sex with someone they’re dating, with women being 73% more likely than men to wait until marriage. It is important to remember that waiting until marriage doesn’t mean someone is necessarily a virgin.
📹 Dating While Abstinent? ❤️
Abstinence can be great when you go about it the right way. Premarital secks from Christian Youtuber. Should you remain celibate …
What is the point of waiting till marriage?
A quick Google search shows that couples who wait until marriage report higher relationship and sexual satisfaction, better communication, and less consideration of divorce. Having sex with someone you’re committed to makes sense because your brain bonds to that person when you have sex. That bond is meant to last. It helps keep a marriage together. So, breaking up with someone you’ve been intimate with is harder than with someone you haven’t. Reserving sex for marriage is about giving your whole self to someone else. In marriage, we give our whole life to the other person.
Does oral count as celibacy?
What is it? Clinical abstinence means not having sex. This includes sex on a man or woman. People define abstinence in different ways, but these definitions may not be medically accurate. Some people think abstinence means no sex at all. Others think it means no vaginal sex but includes oral sex. It’s important to talk with your partner about what abstinence means to each of you. Decide in advance what you’re willing to do and talk about it with your partner. Do this before it happens. Communication is important for practicing abstinence. If you are abstinent in one area but not others, you are still at risk for STIs. Clinical abstinence is the best way to avoid pregnancy and STIs. You can be abstinent for as long or as short as you want. You might choose not to have sex.
You might not have sex with a particular person, at a particular time, in particular circumstances, or in general.
Do couples who wait until marriage last longer?
Couples who wait until marriage to have sex are happier, communicate better, and are less likely to divorce. They also have better sex. Should you assess sexual compatibility early in dating or wait to have sex? Should you wait for “true love” or test a relationship before getting married? Most single adults want to have a successful, lifelong marriage. Many couples move quickly into sexual relationships during dating. Recent studies show that 30-40% of couples have sex within a month of starting a relationship. The numbers are even higher for couples living together.
Source: Sassler, S., Addo, F. R., & Lichter, D. T.. The Pace of Sexual Activity and Relationship Quality. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74, 708-725. Data from the Marital and Relationship Survey. See Figure 1 in Sassler et al. for more details. Do these dating patterns lead to loving, lasting marriages? Let’s look at what research says about these questions.
Do people regret waiting till marriage?
Most people who waited until marriage were happy, but 45 percent regretted it. Some who didn’t wait expressed mixed feelings about their decision. Almost one in five wished they hadn’t had sex before their wedding. It’s good to think about past choices, but don’t be too critical. Psychologists say harsh self-judgments about sex can make intimacy hard in future relationships. Two-thirds of those who waited to have sex until marriage said it helped their sex life with their partner. Those who had sex before marriage felt differently. Forty percent felt waiting would have a negative effect, and 41 percent said it would have no effect. Your past choices can affect your sex life. But you can improve your sex life now. Experts say that couples can improve their sex lives by making intimacy a priority. Nearly half of people who waited did so for religious reasons. Those who said this was why they waited were the least likely to regret it. Many people said they wanted to wait until they found the right partner. Others said they wanted to save themselves for marriage. Some said they wanted to wait until their relationship was stronger. 28% said they were pressured to stay celibate, but most regretted it.
Can you get oral while celibate?
Everyone’s idea of celibacy is different. Some people don’t have sex at all, while others have sex but not penetration.
Celibacy is not only for religious people. If you’re curious or thinking about changing your lifestyle, here are some answers to the most common questions about celibacy.
Is it a sin to touch your private parts?
Conclusion: Touching yourself in a sexual manner is a sin. Touching yourself sexually is a sin in Catholic teachings. It is wrong to touch yourself sexually. It is against the sanctity of our bodies, involves intention and consent, defiles marriage, and can lead to addiction. The Church also says that we can ask God for forgiveness. Through confession, repentance, and commitment to holiness, we can find healing, restoration, and the grace to resist temptation.
May we all live in purity and glorify God.
Is it a sin to make out?
Anytime you get physical with someone, you create strong ties and bonds. Having a sexual drive is not bad. Making out is not a sin, but it can be sinful. A man’s job in a relationship is to honor God and the woman he is dating. Think about why you want to make out. You want to honor your body.If you’re making out just to please someone, you might not be respecting yourself. For many guys, making out is hard to stop because of the physical effects. It’s best to avoid this. Figure out why you value making out. You don’t need physical validation or connection in a dating relationship. “Your goal in dating is to honor the other person well” -JD Rodgers.
Does celibacy include kissing?
Celibacy is not having sex. It can or can’t include kissing, holding hands, or other sexual contact. Some people choose celibacy because of their faith, but it can also help during stressful times or when you feel numb. More couples are choosing celibacy for a while to deepen their friendship, take a break from having children, and deal with problems instead of avoiding them with sex. These couples report deeper intimacy. Here are five reasons celibacy can enhance your relationship.
1. Celibacy reduces stress. Many people take risks with pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Not having sex means less stress.
2. You focus. Abstaining from sex frees your mind and helps you focus on your career or what’s important to you. In relationships, couples may use sex to connect instead of resolving underlying struggles. Not having sex helps partners focus on resolving issues and developing a closer friendship. This makes you closer.
📹 What does the Bible say about sex before marriage? | GotQuestions.org
Is sex before marriage a sin? Is premarital sex considered fornication and/or sexual immorality in the Bible? What does the Bible …
I’m 46 and for the first time ever I am practicing abstinence in my current relationship. I wasn’t sure how he’d react to it but when we met, God started dealing with me on the subject. He was open to it because of failed relationships in his past and we both wanted better for ourselves. I told him that I wanted to get to know him without clouded judgment. Sex before marriage or even too soon in a relationship is a smokescreen. All of the feels are bedazzled by sex. Truth be told some people depend on sex being their catcher because they don’t have much else to offer. I must say this experience is eye opening and awe-inspiring.
Abstinence before marriage helps people discern if the person you are talking to is the right person. Your feelings aren’t in the way and you can catch red flags better than if you slept with that person and your mind isn’t alert and red flags keep slipping by. I really thank men speakers like yourself who helped me learn my value and gave me the deal on how I should date people and the meaning of dating.
💎💎 as usual. Ladies let’s use our abstinence and singleness to work on ourselves. Stand your ground. You’ll have more time to get yourself together if you stop worrying about “hookups”… Abstinence isn’t easy…I’ve complained about not meeting any good men and although I am a hard working good woman, I’m using this time wisely. We all have things about us that need fine tuning. I had to spend time with myself and God to get over past hurts (thanks Stephan for your book on healing). I’ve made time to set goals for myself and I’m actually accomplishing them. My son I and are looking at colleges. Life’s great minus the B.S. I’m not perfect, but I’m not done with me yet and neither is God!!!
Thanks so much for the article. The man that God destined to be your husband will wait till marriage 💍. If they leave because you were abstinent, then it’s a good sign that God does want the relationship. However, it’s hard to accept but God will bring the right man that will be able to wait till the wedding night. After all, the wait is sexy. This article inspired me. Thanks a lot.
Wow, great word for someone like myself who has been saving myself all my life, I’m now in my early 30s. I used to be avoidant of the topic altogether but now happy with my choice knowing the right man will see the value in that…sure some will move on but that is not “The Man God Has For You”, great book!
One thing abstinent and celibate females need to understand as well though is practice what you feel, that’s cool. 🤷🏾♀ But don’t get mad at the men who do not want to wait for you and then you turn around and act like they’re not “real men” or they’re immature. A lot of you had sex in your past and then want to turn celibate and expect the next guy to be ready and willing to wait…but you forgot the other seven men you slept with did not. So it’s not uncommon for them to be turned off by that. Not trying to be rude but respect both sides. You can pratice your celibacy and abstinence and others have a right not to want to be in that. Does not make them bad people or any less.
Yes this powerful message is right on time from God and stephan. I agree we all need to learn and grow and know your value. Trust God first his way his time and his plans God knows our lifes and purpose and value and worth. God love us love yourself and other people. Everyone stand strong on your standards dont allow noone to disrespect your values and worth. They are not from God. God will bring the right soulmate and people in your life. Be patient and Trust Gods words and pray. Thank you God and stephan God bless everyone😊👏👏💪
If you thumbed this down you’re the one he’s talking about. Instead of giving thumbs down on honesty self evaluate and be honest about what you want to fix in yourself then do it. It’s completely private; only an internal conversation. It’ll become public once people sees the positive effects of those repairs.
🤔Interesting explanation … * But what if you are 40+, a truly good woman, practice abstenance because you not only value yourself but it is part of your spiritual belief, you are disabled but capable and have many other wonderful things to bring to a relationship? Why do MOST men say they want a women to have their back through thick and thin but cheat, go ghost, lie, etc., and don’t cherish the very thing they asked for in the first place? Why are they not accepting of women in the same way when women are accepting of them (meaning the good attributes, pet peaves or flaws, with or without health issues)? This seems very one sided. I see this affecting larger percentages of woman 40+, especially our women of color. This is becoming a problem and awareness is key.*** Can you please address this vital topic in a article? I have never seen any articles discussing this aspect before. I would be very appreciative of an answer. Peace and blessings. – Crystal from NYC😊
I’ve been abstinent because I was never able to date. HS, college, and into my career I suffered from anxiety disorder and depression. I didn’t date till I was in my 30s, but I wasn’t comfortable ever on a date. I dated one woman, but she had kids and I couldn’t handle that. Now I am older, ill health, and just want to remain by myself.
As a Christian, l am required to live in obedience to God’s will. Practising abstinence before marriage is pleasing to God. Not giving in to my human desires when dating will develop a pattern where l am able to continue to obey and honour God in my marriage. If l am not willing to be obedient when dating, l will probably struggle with obedience when l get married.
Stephan, and the men on here, I have a question for you!! Since A lot of men often don’t approach attractive women, how would you men feel if a woman struck up a conversation with you instead? Maybe complimented you and then followed it up with, “hey I think you’re really attractive, can I give you my number?” Would this be a turn off? Or would you appreciate the direct honesty? Please comment below! My friends and I understand it can be hard for guys to make the first move and risk rejection but we also don’t want to take that role away from the men either….Thanks for your input!!
Love this! BUT the issues here are that this is ALL SUBJECTIVE. I’ve met men who live at home with their mom, drive a beater, don’t have a career is self proclaimed bipolar and tell me with sincerity that they think they are a catch. These men DGAF they’ll take what they can and do very little self reflection or work on themselves. 😵💫
I need your advice. I got him interested in just revealed to me that he wants to be abstinent n, remind you we’ve already had sex three times….but he said he’s prayed this weekend and decided he wants to be abstinent for the person he will marry in the future. Is it normal for guys to do this ? He is a church goer and Christian … Could some help with advice
I am starting to practice celibacy . but I’m worried because I just started this celibacy journey with my boyfriend after we already started having sex and I saw the aftermath it had on me. I know his morals are different from mine and he said that he doesn’t mind waiting in order to get closer to me but I know he isn’t doing it from a spiritual perspective. He doesn’t necessarily follow the idea of “abstinence” but he said he’s willing to wait awhile to be sure we’re in love without it. He may not see it from a spiritual perspective like me but we really want to be with each other and I’m not sure if im supposed to leave him or what to do:(
What if you have already had sex and the plan is to wait 3 years? I want to do abstinence but in no way is it easy and i’m only 20. I have to sacrifice a lot of time and effort to make this work. Can you please give me some insight? No relationship is easy but it feels like another hoop to jump through. We have been having sex for roughly 5 years. I love this woman with all my heart it just is hard.
Stephan you are preaching to the choir so to speak. I had one guy that approach me some years ago when I was working at a gas station. He was fat and disgusting!!! graying hair, short and just plain disgusting!!!. He walk up to the cash register where I was working and asked me ” Can we go out on a date? I said HELL!!!!!! NO!!! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE” this fool was bothering me on my job talking nonsense. I know that was nothing but the devil. I would never ever be that desperate for a man. I have discernment because I believe in God. So any man that approach me with bad spirited energy I will know there spirit. That’s why I don’t date because I refused to deal with any man that has bad spirited energy and disgusting looking. I will wait on God best for me.
I would not marry a Woman who has relations with a man.And also since I am celibate I would not date one.Also To have a friendship is not to have body contact and to know that a woman is not made to have relations till marriage.And to know that a man does not marry her for just relations but loves her as a person.And marries her as a friend companion and helper.
No body contact is good.Doing without a woman is good.Living without a womans body is being adapted.To live without a womans body a man can can live and endure.I would love for a woman to have a baby but then again I know my Lord intercedes.He does forgive all pregnancies.I carry the baby seed and no woman ever carried one for me.I am abstinent in my britches.
I’m a 22 year old guy in college and I confirm the “there are guys who wish it was more abstinent women” these girls on campus have at the least 8 guy body counts even the nerd girls. Honestly even if she a 7 out of 10 looks I would become more attractive due to her self value. And girls if u made a mistake once or twice having sex with a guy or guys if you become a born again virgin(don’t lie and say u are complete virgin just say I’m a born again virgin) guys will respect u except for the guys who can’t get their way with u which lets u know he’s not the guy for you. I think of girls who’s body has been run down by a lot of guys or the same guy for a long time as no good. I view it as leftover meatloaf forgotten to be thrown out 2 weeks ago. I don’t like other guys leftovers I prefer fresh out of the package
I disagree with the interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:2. The idea here is not to use getting married as an antagonist to premarital sex, but to use marital sex as an antagonist to extramarital sex, i.e. adultery. Much of what Paul is saying here is in response to 1 Corinthians 5:1, which reports an act of adultery involving a man having sex with his father’s wife: “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife.” Notice here that Paul uses the word “has” as a kind of euphemism or slang for sexual intercourse. Basically, “has” here roughly translates to “bedded”, “screwed”, “banged”, etc. Now return to 1 Corinthians 7:2 – “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” “Have” here doesn’t mean “to possess” or more specifically “to marry”; rather, “have” carries the same meaning as its alternate verb conjugation in 1 Corinthians 5:1. So basically, 1 Corinthians 7:2 can be translated: “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should screw his own wife and each woman (should screw) her own husband.” In other words, the injunction is not “marry rather than fornicate”, but “have sex with your spouse rather than have sex with someone else’s spouse”, i.e. adultery.
I think you may be stretching those two verses a bit much. Hebrews 13:4 is referring to adultery within the marriage relationship. No mention of pre-marriage history. To suggest such is forcing that idea into the text. The Corinthians verse may also be referring to married couples having sex outside the marriage union-adultery. And what exactly is “sexual immorality”? Trying to nail down a precise definition of that term isn’t easy. Does it refer to just sexual intercourse. Or all forms of physical intimacy. Or something in between.
My confusion with the blanket term of “sexual immorality” is that Paul would, likely, have been using in reference to levitical precepts about sexuality since that was his biblical and cultural benchmark at the time of writing the letters to the Corinthians. The same would probably be true of the verse in Hebrews, since the writer of Hebrews is often hypothesized to be a teacher of the law or, at least, someone very familiar with it. Given that levitical law has no outright precepts against sex before marriage, how would you respond this as a criticism of the traditional view of sex before marriage?
When i was avoiding sex then i was full of lust all the time and carrying a guilt trip all the time. At the age of 37 i had sex for the first time then i lost all the lust and interest in women and sex. Now i am not having even urges for sex and im completely free and feel awesome. Now i am not involved in sex and will never be. So which condition is better ?
Brothers and sisters, Men and Women the scriptures say 1 Corinthians 7 King James Version 7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
I had have sex before marriage and for so long afterword she left and god isolated myself for a reason I knew what I did was wrong and I I also knew god has something better in store for me for very long I’ve been listening to what he is saying and I’m doing so well in staying on the straight and narrow path I’m just glad god was able to close a door for me that would eventually lead me to more sexual immorality and im glad that through Christ I am made new 🙏
I admitted that i have committed sins in sex before marriage and outside marriage that i can’t control before, but i prayed sincerely to my Father God to forgive me and control my lust but, when I’m praying it control my lust, hunger and obsession of sex as if it doesn’t lessen but it worsen so i just control and discipline myself not to be jealous of what the others is doing which is wrong and a great sins by doing it also. That’s why i always repent and ask forgiveness through prayers. And I prayed too that I’ll only have sex with a right girl in a right time to make myself pure and clean and in the eyes of God. As a king of the World like king David i just wait for the right time That’s why i don’t lose patience to wait to those who really love snd serve me from now and for eternity. Marriage and sex is sacred and it is a gift for us human from God but in a right ways, right person, right place. Those who practice and doing it in a wrong ways will surely be tormented and punish in the lake of fire in hell. But as a chosen snd destined as King of the World there is a consideration like a chosen king of Israel 🇮🇱 but in a right persons, right place and right time with respect and sincerity. And even as a chosen king there’s still Commandments of God not to do it, like king David he committed sin by killing Uriah his soldier just to marry his wife Batsheba because he like and in loved with her so much even he has many wives and that is his sin to God by ordering the killing of Uriah.
Hi Nelson, I had a question, I’ve always been a Christian but grew up in very modern times without any guidance, so I had to find my own way in the faith. Did the sexual revolution change the dynamics of sexual immorality? In my experience, my first girlfriend was actually only for sex. (She used me for sex too I believe, but sought much more behind it) After three months I realized I didn’t want to marry her so I broke the relationship off. Her crying on my pants for 45 minutes straight made me realize this wasn’t the way to go. Later on when I went to university, I got a fwb, which was kinda so to say, a form of covenanted sexual relationship. After three months she developed the first signs of feelings for me so I broke it off. Felt like it kinda happened in a right way. No tears, no pain, for the both of us. Maybe I am just Naive and have not chosen to actually “follow” Christ, but I have always taken him as the truth. I do think about his wisdoms and have built my own relationship with them/him. EDIT: I come from an atheist-Christian background. Could this be just a matter of perspective? Could this be a matter of finding right? Wrong? Acceptable? Anyway, let me hear your thoughts on this! Much Blessings, Alan
Kingdom Marriage is between the husband and the wife with The Most High/Holy Spirit residing in both parties. How the world sees and promotes marriage is a money making business. Like Jesus said, “There is no marriage in The Kingdom.” In my opinion we were created with our bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh before the foundation of the earth and some of us just got lost and distracted in sin(missing the mark). 😇🙏🏽 When you find Your Kingdom ordained Spouse you will KNOW and NOT be concerned about getting married the world’s way…😇🙏🏽👩🏽❤️💋👨🏼
Botom line is God is love, therefore to honor God, every decision you make do it with love. Have sex because you love someone unconditionally and you want to make them feel good in the first place. Do not have sex if so desires your lust for lust is just a different form of selfishness. But, if you love someone unconditionally so much, then of course you also would want to marry them and you need to know if they love you enough to marry you. Marrying is a commitment for a lifetime covenant. It’s truly established and is working when love is genuine. Therefore, if you love someone very much and they love you too, ask them to marry. Someone who is mature and understands the meaning of this commitment will only agree on such covenant if they truly love you. You don’t want to assume that, you want to confirm that.
The main problem your “short ” article has is many coming to the article are trying to find a loop hole. Every scripture you mentioned uses the word “sexual immorality,” ( porneia in Greek) but its meaning isnt distinctly explained. So its like saying “X” . Assuming any form of “premarital sex” is included in porneia is an assumption that those who look for loop holes NEED proven. 1 Corinthians 7:1 in context isnt refering to getting married to avoid premattial sex. Its telling those who are married to have sex to guard against temptation to being involved in the temple prostitution in Corinth. See NT scholar Gordon Fee. IMO.. the bible isnt a book to find Morality..rather it offers wisdom. Wisdom comes to those who ask and pray and seek to order their lives in under God. . “if in doubt cut it out”
This got me thinking… how does a couple get married? Lets say you and your grilfriend got stranded in an island and nobody from the outside world would be able to contact you in any way. Lets say the island provides the food etc you need to sustain life so you wont die. My question is, when they decided to get married, how does that work? Can they just hold their hands together and speak their marriage vows by praying to God to get officially married? Because in these circumstances they cant go to church or register their names to create marriage certificate. I’m just wondering what makes a man and woman considered officially married so that God would approve them as man and wife?
When interpreting these verses I think we should consider the realities of the time e.g. no contraceptive method other than killing the fetus (if the boy friend runs away). In modern times, casual sex between consenting partners using contraceptive method (e.g. pills … ) does not harm anyone. Having said that under the law things are binary and would be a sin (i think).
I think the reason that premaritial sex is a sin is because it does not further God’s Kingdom. Let me explain. I’m sure that sex is pleasurable, because God made it that way…..whether or not someone has sex inside or outside of marriage. However, if you have sex outside of marriage and only for pleasure, not only are you at risk for spreading disease, but you are also at risk for unplanned pregnancies…..in which you may or may not give up to adoption agency, or in some cases worse abortion. If someone becomes a single mother, the life ahead isn’t an easy one. This and many more are some of things that someone can expect if you have sex outside of marriage. Now, if you wait to have sex inside of marriage…….sure you will be having sex with just one person your entire life, but with one who loves you and wants the best for you. And both of you can support your children instead of just one person. And when you bring your children to church and teach them about God, you are furthering God’s kingdom. Your children will one day be able to share the Gospel with someone else. If you were to have sex outside of marriage for pleasure and for self, your future children wouldn’t be able to further God’s kingdom.
It really should be understood as “sex outside of marriage”, whether before or AFTER marriage. Yes, those who divorce and then have sex with another whether they remarry or not are committing adultery. Most Christians don’t want to hear this but read it from Jesus himself, Mat 5:31-32 – “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except (l)sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” Spoiler alert, God hates divorce! Malachi 2:16 – “For the Lord God of Israel says\r That He hates divorce,\r For it covers one’s garment with violence,”\r Says the Lord of hosts.\r “Therefore take heed to your spirit,\r That you do not deal treacherously.” Mat 19:1-12, Mark 10:1-12, Luke 16:18
The issue with sex before marriage has little to do with the Bible and more to do with the cultures that carried the belief. Particularly in the western world. Polygamous and polyamorous engagements between Christians still exist TODAY in African and eastern worlds. But they are not talked about. If sex before marriage was a sin, God would’ve condemned men who had sex with concubines and maidens…he never did. In fact he encouraged it in some cases in the OT. It was adultery and the things that led to it he had an issue with (fornication) Fornication in biblical terms refers to sexual crimes such as incest, homosexuality, bestiality, and whoredom/prostitution The purpose of sex if for man to lead and guide the woman, and no other man should interfere if she belongs to that man Fornication is an umbrella term to describe the many “effects” of adultery. Which comes from a contamination of the natural order God had established for a man to have with his wife or wives… Men were mainly in danger of lusting after other men’s wives or “dumping” their women without reason. Something God did not approve of. If you have sex with a woman…she’s stuck with you unless you have clear reason to leave her such as her being rebellious towards you
is sex within marriage actually more pleasureful than casual sex for example? I know people say it is, but I want the truth. Or is it like being a bodybuilder and eating boiled chicken with rice for every meal. Healthy yes, but not exact the most appetizing. This is what I want to know and I want the truth.
I wonder why the Bible isn’t as clear concerning premarital sex as it is in homosexual sex. Leviticus 18:22 clear short and concise. Without any stretches of the imagination. If premarital sex is bad why not just write it one 10 word verse could have put an end to the whole debate. Yet we are left with pastors who must redefine versus to comply with their own thoughts and ideas.
You did a pretty bad job thoroughly explaining how the Bible actually says this. In-fact, you basically said – the Bible doesn’t exactly say it. I believe in abstinence before marriage btw. I think it is sensible, moral, and the Bible DOES teach it. However, your explanation of HOW and where the Bible specifies this commandment was way overshadowed by your prooftexting and personal explanation of the issue. Saying what God wants as if God said it to you and not as if you got it out of the Bible. Visit what the words in the commandments about sex contained in the Bible mean. What the language meant at the time the words were spoken. Approaching it the way you did allows anyone to justify just about anything using 5 hand-selected Bible verses.
I have a questipn. The institution of marrige is one that began in the times of the bible as an involuntary forced marrige. So in that time, sex before marrige wouldnt be just an unmarried committed relationship, it would be basicslly a one night stand. This policy is making people rush to get married before they are ready too
Luke 13:1-5 New Living Translation A Call to Repentance 13 About this time Jesus was informed that Pilate had murdered some people from Galilee as they were offering sacrifices at the Temple. 2 “Do you think those Galileans were worse sinners than all the other people from Galilee?” Jesus asked. “Is that why they suffered? 3 Not at all! And you will perish, too, unless you repent of your sins and turn to God. 4 And what about the eighteen people who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them? Were they the worst sinners in Jerusalem? 5 No, and I tell you again that unless you repent, you will perish, too.”
The Bible never says premarital sex is wrong…. Premarital sex is not even mentioned in the Bible once… God actually condones request for men to impregnate women who are not their wives in Genesis 38 … the only response I ever get for that is ” that was a long time ago ” I thought God was the same yesterday today and forever??? 🤔 plenty of characters in scripture have concubines and are never chastised … or more than one wife … like David Solomon or Abraham …bigamy or poligamy were never outlawed until 1000 years AD by Judaism … still legal in Islam … the only scriptural verse suggested is in Timothy where Pastors are to be “husbands of one wife” … but this rule is for pastors … btw I don’t advocate premarital sexual relations nor multiple marriages wives… or concubines …. But the Bible just is silence on this …. Pornea or fornication ….term it’s not exclusive….
Knowing the consequences of falling into sin helps to acquire knowledge to reflect on the anguish and suffering that committing sin brings. =>> Hosea 4:6 6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for Me; Because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children
With regards to pre-marital sex, scripture absolutely does NOT condemn sex before. What it outlines is marital commitments between the male and female. An example…, 2 teenagers engaged in a premarital sexual relationship, I would consider that sinful. Because the “man”, the teenage boy, has not made the necessary preparations to be the provider and protector of that girl. Her father is currently doing that. But a man who is independent of his parents and understands the Biblical mandates for a husband to lead, provide, and protect for his wife, he could take a wife and never be “married” by license or ceremony. Although the state makes provisions for that. It’s called a common law marriage. It was instituted mainly to protect women. Marrage in scripture is not state mandated contractual ceremony. Its a mutual commitment. Once 2 ADULTS realize this commitment the biblical marriage starts at sex. The act of sex is the consummation of that commitment. The signing of the contract so to speak. So therefore, having sex is a really big deal. And post “marriage” commitment it is the continuation of that contract. Not to sound misogynistic, but for a woman to continue to give herself to her husband is to renew that commitment over and over again. Very meaningful stuff even though we take it all for granted.
“Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.” —Leviticus 25:44-46 Christians, is owning people as property moral or not? This is a simple yes or no question. Context is irrelevant. The above verses are proof that you have no business preaching morality, especially when it comes to sex.
your adding to God’s word with your understanding of what fornication is, it’s clearly any sexual sin that in the law of Moses condemns, don’t dream up others or your going to make the innocent feel guilty or condemned, your also not pointing out that sex between two single adults of the opposite sex are not forbidden, possibly trying to use laws that pertained to children on adults, misleading and deceptive, the bible clearly tells a man what to do if he lies with a woman and a emission of semen happens, it’s obvious it doesn’t refer to her husband because it says if ANY man lie with her while she’s on her period he shall be unclean seven days, this sort of teaching are the main cause so many of our youths and single men and women don’t go to church, you condemn them from the pulpit then think in your heart your doing God’s will, such hypocrisy too, most if not all of your people had sex before they got married, especially the one’s that did get married, all except the one’s that fall for this false teaching
So u do sex and adultry before marriage and u eat port and u drink alcohol and u pray only once a week..r u religion really..? Do u enter heaven like this easily..? And if u said jesus die for us so why he wrote the bible and learn u, why he didnt created us in heaven if there is no test in this life..?
I just found out what “soaking” is…sigh…The LORD will clean up and refine His Church. Thank you for this discussion. The fear of the LORD is our treasure. The fear of the LORD is clean. If you are burning with passion get married to a fellow believer like 1 Corinthians 7 says (paraphrase). I know by experience that it is possible through Christ to overcome sexual immorality and not act on evil thoughts. Let’s not find loopholes. Satan is exploiting these things. I am tired of wickedness on the earth. The LORD is pure and holy so how should we be? Judgement begins with the household of God. If you messed up ask for forgiveness and move forward. Like this article says, there is a place for sex which is undefiled: marriage.
The problem with this question is what do we mean when say “marriage”? Biblical marriages were arranged, took place while people were in their teens, and was based on economics instead of being “in love”. Modern marriage involves dating, falling “in love”, and getting married at 30. The difference is so great that you almost can’t call them by the same word. The church has already accepted the modern form of marriage so why insist that there be no sex before marriage?
And Hebrews 13:4 considers sex outside of marriage to be immoral: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” This verse can’t just be limited to adultery, since both “sexually immoral” and “adulterous” are listed.
If those are the rules, while i understand the safety net it provides, them i guess Christianity is simply not for me. I refuse to deny my partner love and care. If I follow these vague “immorality” standards then I’ll never feel safe to kiss her or hold her hand. No thanks. I wont be a hypocrite either by following the rest of the Bible but ommit this part.
Well, since we’re all created in Gods image why do we have the need for fortification then? Without or without marriage, is the forbidden fruit simply the ability the sin but the wisdom to know the difference ? If that’s the case, this world is full of sin no matter what the cost. I.e. sexual, lust, gluttony, etc. so the real question is then, how does someone turn away from this sin a Goldy manner? If so, how does one wash away the sins of her or his past when that person maybe had a child that is soo damn beautiful even in the making of sin they protruded life? See, not everything is perfect even Gods creation. So, we must be forgiven automatically even when we realize this. Because we are only human in the end
You failed to prove sex before marriage is sin. The few scriptures that you try to use don’t say it you try to twist the word morality and immorality covers a multitude of sins it doesn’t single out sex before marriage. There is nowhere that says sex before marriage is sin that’s the bottom line so stop inventing laws.
something i have never heard addressed is it is mathematically and logistically impossible for everyone to marry, even if everyone wanted to, and not everyone does. so if what you say is true that means god is prejudiced against and discriminates against the unmarried. correct me if i am wrong but i suspect you believe god loves us all. so which is it? if sex is only moral in marriages how can god love everyone? was god unaware not everyone would marry? if you never marry are you supposed to die a virgin? there are two versions of sex outside of marriage: unmarried people having sex and married people straying. does not every passage you quoted apply to married people straying? the term “pre marital” should not exist, for sex or anything else. i do not want to ban marriage, but the idea being married is an achievement or crazier yet an obligation is beyond insane