In broken relationships, it is crucial to prioritize God first in your life and set your marriage as a top priority. Make a list of steps you need to take, such as respecting each other, working on forgiveness, love being demonstrated in action, patience in anger, and the role of communication. Trusting God with your marriage is essential, as He has been faithful in your life and directed your path.
Praying for God’s help is essential, but He will not lead you to adultery or lead you down your own path. Instead, invite God into your marriage through earnest prayer and ask for His intervention and guidance. Use scriptures such as Genesis 2:24 to guide your decision-making process.
Counseling can help you with the decision-making process. Research published in 2020 revealed the most frequently given reasons for divorce from a sample of more than 2,000 people. A functional and fulfilling marriage requires commitment from both spouses. If your marriage has been ravaged by adultery, porn, other marital problems, divorce, emotional abuse, mental abuse, or verbal abuse, consider seeking help from Joel and Kathy Davisson.
God can soften and harden hearts, but it is usually just helping people. Drinking deeply from God’s love will inevitably pour that love into each other. God can work a miracle in your marriage by saving both of you to serve Him in ministry.
In summary, God can save your marriage by making it a priority in your life, setting it as a top priority, and focusing on respect, forgiveness, love, patience, and communication. By trusting in God’s plan, you can restore your relationship and live a fulfilling life.
📹 The story of how God saved my marriage
My wife showed me something that the Bible calls “covenant love.” There are things in our lives that get broken so badly that they …
How do I know if God wants to restore my marriage?
God is restoring your marriage when: Better communication. You and your spouse communicate more openly, honestly, and respectfully. You listen to each other without becoming defensive or argumentative.
Will God put my marriage back together?
Pray for your spouse and children. No matter how bad things are, pray for them. Pray for your children’s protection. Pray for your spouse to receive godly counsel and to avoid ungodly counsel. Pray that God will put good people in your spouse’s path. Pray that your spouse will see the ungodly council for what it is. If you know what kind of counseling they’re getting, pray about it. Healthy communication is key in a healthy marriage. In unhealthy relationships, communication breaks down. Divorce often ends in complete communication breakdowns. Pray for healthy communication with your spouse. Against Control – Standing is not control. It’s about having faith in what God has told you. You can’t control your spouse, and God won’t control your spouse. If you’re only “standing” to save your marriage, you’re putting your faith in your spouse, not God. God wants your marriage to be restored, but your spouse has a choice. God won’t force them to return. You should stand for your marriage because it’s the right thing to do. God wants you to love and honor Him even if He doesn’t restore your marriage. Your faith in God and commitment to Him don’t depend on your spouse. Pray that God will help you stay focused on Him and not lose faith or try to control things.
Does God expect you to stay in an unhappy marriage?
God designed marriage to last forever. It’s a strong commitment. He wants you to stay married unless you are being abused or unfaithful. You must stay committed to your spouse, even if you’re unhappy.
Does God want you to stay in an unhappy marriage?
God designed marriage to last forever. It’s a strong commitment. He wants you to stay married unless you are being abused or unfaithful. You must stay committed to your spouse, even if you’re unhappy.
How to fix a broken marriage God’s way?
Fix a broken marriage with God. Pray. Take responsibility for your part. Forgive your partner. Love your partner for who they are. Love your spouse, even when it’s hard. Thank your spouse. As a Christian dealing with a broken marriage, it’s natural to turn to God for healing and hope. Even the most godly marriages go through hard times. Many Christian couples use faith to fix their marriages. Our guide will show you how to repair your relationship with God. In a godly marriage, you and your partner should pray for and with each other, go to church together, and study the Bible together. These gifts will help you navigate your relationship with more grace and forgiveness. Even if your spouse isn’t involved in your spiritual life, a closer relationship with God can help you find peace as you fix your marriage. In 1 Chronicles 16:11, the Bible describes how you should pursue a relationship with God. Look to the Lord for strength and guidance.
How can God fix a broken marriage?
Fix a broken marriage with God. Pray. Take responsibility for your part. Forgive your partner. Love your partner for who they are. Love your spouse, even when it’s hard. Thank your spouse. As a Christian dealing with a broken marriage, it’s natural to turn to God for healing and hope. Even the most godly marriages go through hard times. Many Christian couples use faith to fix their marriages. Our guide will show you how to repair your relationship with God. In a godly marriage, you and your partner should pray for and with each other, go to church together, and study the Bible together. These gifts will help you navigate your relationship with more grace and forgiveness. Even if your spouse isn’t involved in your spiritual life, a closer relationship with God can help you find peace as you fix your marriage. In 1 Chronicles 16:11, the Bible describes how you should pursue a relationship with God. Look to the Lord for strength and guidance.
What does God say about saving my marriage?
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 (NIV) “To married people, I give this command: A wife must not leave her husband. If she does, she must stay single or get back with her husband. “A husband must not divorce his wife.” Unity is the goal of marriage. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It requires love, devotion, selflessness, kindness, and care. These Bible verses and movies about marriage can help couples grow and focus on what matters.
If some important parts of a marriage are not considered, it can end badly. This makes the marriage suffer. The couple must work through what matters most.
Read also: 29 Bible verses about wives, marriage, and love.
How can God save my marriage?
Pray for your spouse and ask God to help them. God knows what the marriage needs to succeed. Ask Him for it. Sometimes, being still is the best way to help in God’s battle. Let go of your anger, hate, jealousy, and pain. Be still.
Can God restore a toxic marriage?
Yes. God is love, healer, and restorer. God makes things whole again. Sometimes God keeps us from people who are harmful to us.
Will God fix my marriage?
Healing a broken marriage is hard. But God knows your situation and wants your marriage to be restored. Start by seeking Him. He can heal your marriage. The Bible promises restoration and healing. However, whether you’ve been a Christian for a long time or just a short time, you’ve likely found that people don’t always agree with Biblical truth. How do you move forward in Christ and the healing He promises? This is hard when your marriage seems to be falling apart.
Find out why your marriage is broken. Then learn how to live out your faith in this relationship.
Can God repair a marriage?
Healing a broken marriage is hard. But God knows your situation and wants your marriage to be restored. Start by seeking Him. He can heal your marriage. The Bible promises restoration and healing. However, whether you’ve been a Christian for a long time or just a short time, you’ve likely found that people don’t always agree with Biblical truth. How do you move forward in Christ and the healing He promises? This is hard when your marriage seems to be falling apart.
Find out why your marriage is broken. Then learn how to live out your faith in this relationship.
How to heal a damaged marriage?
How to Fix Your Marriage: Be trustworthy. Be reliable. … Value the little moments. … Take time for yourself. … 5:1 positives to negatives. … Make a love map. … Start slowly. … Let your partner influence you. … Don’t criticize, attack, or disrespect your partner. Our relationships affect our everyday lives. You’ll have relationships with other people, like your parents, your partner, your kids, your friends, your coworkers, and more.
Of course, relationships have problems. We’re human. We’re all different, and keeping relationships strong and smooth is hard, especially in romantic relationships.
📹 How God Saved Me From A Narcissistic Marriage – Testimony
If you feel trapped in a narcissistic relationship, please know, you’re not alone. God sees you and has the power to transform and …
Nice story. I just started a chess youtube website this year. I post well explained chess articles. I also post my interviews when I win chess tournaments because I usually got censored by local media for thanking my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. My articles don’t get many views despite being very good. Do you have any advices please? Thanks for your time brother.
My husband was a covert narcissist, BUT God changed his heart, mind, and direction when he decided to get saved. My husband admitted to everything when I showed him an article that God gave me to explain this behavior. Not even the best counselor in the world can get a narcissist to admit they are a narcissist. But God is the ultimate Counselor 🙌 🙏 ❤️
I was married 18.5 to very trouble porn addiction too God gave me the strength to finally let him go He actually left after my cancer diagnosis God used this diagnosis to set me free from my very troubled marriage My diagnosis has also led me to get healing from my childhood trauma It’s been two years and I am thriving God has been good to me and my 14 year old son
My story is very similar; we had children and I told myself I was staying for them–comes with it’s own repercussions. I stayed much longer, then it was almost like a light bulb went on–God told me, now is the time, you will be ok. This time I listened and its something I’ve never regretted. For those of you out there who aren’t there yet…keep praying, he will answer..God bless
I am 25 years into a marriage with a covert narcissist. It is so hard!! My health has definitely suffered and I feel like a different person because of it. He has everyone at church fooled and even teaches Sunday school now. I have been praying for God to set me free. I don’t have $ to be able to leave, so I am stuck and miserable 😢 . I also did it to myself and married the wrong one!! I’m just thankful this is only temporary and one day, even if it isn’t until I get to Heaven, I will be free.
Astonishing!!! I listened to your testimony like I was hearing myself testify!! After listening to you I immediately went to the Father to pray about my marriage….and me in it!. I’ve repented of my arrogance to believe I could fix, change, even save a man from himself! I’ve given this marriage, this man and me over to Father God to do as He desires. He’s in charge and I will wait on Him to fix, change or deliver. I know He will.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I too, was married to a narcissist. I stayed 19 years. Always thinking … I’m a Christian. I don’t get to leave. My pastor, is the one who showed me that if I had been walking with GOD, when i married this man, I would not have done so. HE, GOD, does heal, and restore, and as soon as I walked away, GOD, began blessing me more than I could have ever hoped for. 🙏🏼❤️
I love it when you say, ” Judge all you want, but I left!” It’s also very liberating when one takes responsibility for the part that they played in getting entangled in such chaos. The say I topped blaming and taking responsibility was the beginning of my freedom. I also have zero regrets for leaving, and even though he never fought to keep our marriage or stop me, he still tells everyone that I filed for the divorce, I left…and you know what? I’m okay with that.
Beautiful testimony! Glory to God alone! My ex husband was a narcissist. The Lord removed him from my life and my son’s life before my son turned 3 years old. He even terminated his parental rights. He did the right thing for the wrong reasons. Years later I met my husband and he adopted my son and we’ve since welcomed 9 more blessings. God turned everything around when I surrendered it all to Him! 🙌🏽❤️
My mum just got divorced from my dad after 54 years! God heals is right! Restoring has begun… my mum met my dad when she was 16 and married at 18… she wishes she did this sooner but I tell my dear mum she cannot dwell… we live together in my childhood home… my mum needed to get a mortgage even though my dad had 300,000 in the bank, and she had nothing… heartbreaking but… she is free from his narcissistic ways that were only growing over time
Thank you for sharing your story, Kris. My malignant narcissist wife of almost 19 years was just caught cheating by me. Praise our God! I have been delivered by the LORD and I will not look back. It has been the darkest 2 decades of my life with this supposedly Christian woman in my life. But God is faithful, and now I’m free. Thank you for your content. I’m grateful to hear of fellow Christians and their deliverance from narcissistic spouses.
Wow… just wow. Did we marry the same man? lol… I lived exactly what you did, except for 7 years. My relationship with God came first. I prayed for direction and truth and he provided! What a trial. After 23 years of being single, my lesson to “look for a man’s good fruits before marrying” is forever at the front of my mind.
Your married life sounds so much like my life story. At the time, I had no idea of narcissistic behavior or sociopaths, but knew something was wrong. Looking back, it was the “unequally yolked” situation. I prayed before the marriage and when I did not receive an immediate NO, I continued with my plans. What a hard lesson to learn that God is sometimes silent and that is HIS answer. Long story short, I refused to quit and he left me after 7 yrs together (dating and married time). There were many events in that 7 years where I learned some cold hard facts. I was a basket case, but God never disappoints and always restores his children to a better life than before. P.S. I had no professional therapy (because he had drained my finances). Only my Bible and my church, but God’s guidance brought me through.
I was married to a narcissist Pastor. It was horrifying, and did much damage physically and mentally. Your story has so many similarities. Abuse in every form, adultery, enslavement, extortion, death threats and more. I prayed and fasted daily for 3 years. I witnessed, exhorted, remained silent, and more. Finally, God delivered me. Then the next season of Hell ensued. I await recompense. God is good and He shall indeed save me.
Wow! Sounds so familiar!!! This has definitely helped me realize that I’m not alone. God rescued me from a 12 year marriage to a narcissist sociopath that used me to get his citizenship and grow a very lucrative business. I found out he had been lying from day one. All the cheating and lies had completely ruined me. I’m seeing a therapist and rebuilding my self esteem. Thank you so much for your testimony.
Our stories are so similar- Married for 7yrs… I knew within 1st 3months (I dreaded going home- never knowing what I would come home too) -but I knew I couldn’t walk away until God guided my every step.(Painful heartbreaking time – No matter what the outside world said..I wouldn’t move until God directed me) Final got divorced. God gave me such peace, the day I moved out…I felt sorry for my ex…not myself. God does restore. I am at peace, Praise God 🙏 🙌 Thank you for sharing.
Wow! I feel incredibly overwhelmingly blessed. After 33 yrs in a marriage with a narcissist when I didn’t even know what that was. I just took it to Jesus. Raised my children. Kept giving it all to Jesus. Prayed over him while he slept. Like a life explosion 💥 Jesus came through and delivered him and all glory to God…God is healing and delivering his narcissistic father too and healing relationships in our family now that we know about😮 this Jezebel spirit. Kingdom marriage now. ♥️🙏God is faithful ♥️
I also married a narcissist, an abusive narcissist. As a missionary child whose parents lived in another country, this was difficult on my parents and myself. I felt shame for what I had done but chose to rely on God. I trusted God in my shame and fear of my husband. But God finally allowed me to get pregnant and my child gave me someone to care for and protect. My son was 10 months old when I separated from my husband. I tried everything I could to save the marriage until I also was Biblically released and so divorced. It was final 3 days prior to my 10th anniversary. God has taken care of my son and me through all these years since.
It’s taken me over 25yrs to realize that my husband has these narcissistic tendencies (demonization) to be exact. I can relate to everything you’ve said, from manipulation, gaslighting, the guilt instilled in me of being the problem. He’s been in prison, out of prison, in church, out of church and even disrespected my daughter, yet I kept going back. Until that one eventful night when he nearly choked me to death and had no other choice but to call the cops on him- now I’m battling him wanting to take my home in the mist of what is probably going to be a horrible divorce, BUT GOD has delivered me and I know He will see me through. So prayers are Welcomed. I don’t have a support of people and definitely need to find counseling as I’m going through my healing process. So blessed I found you. Thank you for sharing your story. I felt I was alone and I now see from the many comments that this is more common than I thought. 🙏🏼
8:18 hate when people say that. Just because you are called to love doesn’t mean you need to stay in a toxic and abusive situation. God has called us to love others. Love doesn’t mean letting that person walk all over you. Love doesn’t mean getting everything they want. Sometimes love is letting someone go. Sometimes love is discipline and making sure people are held accountable for actions. Enabling somebody’s bad behavior is not loving. God loves you enough to take you away from people who are hurting you!
I suffered 26 years before God freed me. I made such a huge mistake and I found out on my honeymoon. So many red flags for me too but I was head strong and thought he would change. He didn’t but in fact things got worse. I prayed and went to counseling many times. My heart broke because my dream of a happy marriage was elusive no matter how hard I tried. I finally said God I just can’t do this anymore!
One month after I married ‘the man of God’, he abused me physically. I’ve been ordained minister for 30 yrs & a therapist for many more. Recently divorced (19 months married) with a restraining order these past 8 months I am healing & understanding! Thank you Kris for your transparency & always coming to the Word!
“He brought us out from there in order to bring us in, to give us the land which He had sworn to our fathers.’” Deuteronomy 6:23. This is what I heard the LORD say to me after a 32 year marriage w a covert malignant narcissist. He was bringing me out of abuse, manipulation, lies, disjunction, into a promised land I didn’t even know existed. I now have peace, tranquility, and building my identity in God and His Word.
I endured the same thing throughout my marriage. I had codependency issues from my narcissistic alcoholic mother but did not know what that was or what a narcissist was. After years of abuse and toxicity, he had an affair so I divorced him. It has taken a decade for me to heal and i have grown closer to God than I ever have been. I am walking with God and am perfectly content with this. God is great! Trust in God!!! 🥰😇
54 years and I am out as of March 22nd 2023. I knew something was wrong but he and his family convinced me it was my problem. A councellor, my fourth, told me he was a narcissist but that only I could decide to leave. 12 years later I did my homework, I have been married to a covert narcissist all along. His mother was also a narcissist, I can forgive them because they are very sick people who don’t know it. I am moving on with my life, alone…… I feel like damaged goods but am confident that my God can heal all wounds.
Please pray for me and my 6yr old son. My wife is a very violent abuser and a chronic cheater. I can’t do this any more I almost killed myself the other day. Another day is to much let a lone another year. Please LORD DELIVER ME AND MY SON. Pray for strength that I can stay surrendered to GOD….PLEASE
Thank you for sharing your testimony. I’ve been through the porn addiction of my former spouse and all the lies, so many lies. I too married someone who I very well knew wasn’t the right one for me and I ignored that thought. It took over 20 years of pain but God got me out and for that I’m grateful. I’m also grateful for the way God used that time to work in my heart and grow me. God has healed me and continues to heal me daily. Anyone who is in a dark situation, take heart. God knows and he has your back. Pray for a way out. It may take time. In the meantime immerse yourself in God’s word and in prayer. Pray for clarity. Release your partner to God and whatever he decides to do in regard to that partner.
Kris, It’s been almost 33 years for me. I get sick every time I think about it. The Lord revealed to me in December ’22 what I was seeing for so long but was not able to call it for what it is. I couldn’t believe it! Never thought I would ever want to leave him the way I do now. because all those other times I thought he was trying to change. NOT!!! I am so disgusted with myself and with him. I repented and still repent every time I think of how I did not regard God in my decision to marry him back then. I made a horrible choice, and I have lived in despair for all these years. After the Lord revealed his porn addiction, adulterous affairs- even a child resulting in one of those adulterous affairs, the lies, profiles on 2 dating sites, drinking problem, not to mention the verbal, emotional and physical abuse I’ve endured. Yet, I decided to fast and pray even though I know and have been through all these things, to know what I should do next. “Wait” was impressed in my spirit. It’s been 5 months since then. He tries “love bombing” in the attempt to get me to believe he’s changed but I know that devil hasn’t left him. He lays low in order to pounce on me again, but I’ve seen this cycle of behavior many times before. I KNOW what I’m dealing with now and, with the Spirit’s help, will NEVER fall into that trap again! It’s hard to wait though. I feel like I’m trapped with… a lion! I want to be free; however, I want God to do all He desires in me to change me to who He wants me to be.
Sounds similar to my story but my ex is a religious narcissist. I tried to pray and hang on for decades and be a responsible Christian wife. Now I bear the guilt of what my children have suffered emotionally from having a narcissistic father. I finally prayed for deliverance and got it. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony with YouTube viewers.
😮 I’m listening to a story much like I am experiencing now. I just graduated with my Masters in Pastoral Counseling. Then (After 23 years) my STBX turning into a narcissist on steroids. Lied about being Christian said he wasn’t interested any more, became verbally abusive cursing all the time. 😢 thank you for sharing your story. I’ve been crashed like no other time in my life. Slowly I’m healing ❤️🩹 one moment at a time. I’ve lost everything because of his narcissism. Which, by the way, I didn’t realize until after the divorce. Loneliness drowns me, but I’ve returned to scripture, prayer, and debating to the Lord. You gave me hope to heal. I too, should have never married him, it was wrong from the beginning. ❤❤❤ Your article gave me hope.
Thank you, Kris. Yes, God delivers, heals, restores. As for me, I cried, “Jesus help! Rescue me.” He did within several hours. It was frightening but God delivered me in the most outstanding manner. I left him but his narrative was it was a mutual decision. It was not, I had to leave as the rage, devaluing, verbal abuse was too much! Sixteen days before the wedding, Praise Jesus!
12 years in and 8 years married. I’ve prayed about it and begged him to go to church with me to be healed, etc. Cheating, lying, and telling me that I’m the problem was a regular thing. Narcissists are very jealous and insecure. He cheated while I was pregnant with each of our 3 children and even right after they were born. If I wanted friends or went on a work team building outing he would go cheat and have his ring off and be very cold when I came home. I’m not sure I will ever trust or date again after the divorce is final.
Our story is so very similar, exactly 9 years for me too. So many times I prayed and cried for God to get my baby daughter and I out. It boiled down to my choice each time. The very last time- I took my daughter & I and fled with just the clothes we had on. I’m still reeling from the separation abuse BUT now I’m in a beautiful new home, everything in it donated, an Angel of an attorney fighting the demonic ex – pro bono. My war is still raging but I have God’s peace that surpasses all understanding in me this time.
oh girl… let me have a sit!!!! my husband was a passive aggressor, it was awful!! it took me sooo long to wake up until he cheated on me and blame me for going thru his stuff and finding out… it was the worse season of my life! therapy after therapy.. only God knows my tears! I heard for my entire marriage- “i never said that”, he had excuses for every action but the most horrible was that i was ignored, invisible.. until the day i couldn’t take anymore and kicked him out and all his stuff, he cheated on me for more than 4 years. All this time God lifted me up, i got strong by His power and mercy, i went to school, im in nursing working full time, God heals hearts, He makes everything new!! So many days i want to die! But the Lord hugged me! We have a beautiful life ahead of us! One day i woke up with a very strong thought- “Get up and live!” Theres life for us, theres new chances! my husband now is depressed, sad, im doing divorce and he doesnt want.. Life turns around! You’re wanted, you’re precious, you’re the love of God’s heart! I wasn’t going to leave a big comment but wonder if someone needs to hear
Thanks for your honesty and testimony. Tomorrow is my 30 year wedding anniversary and I honestly didn’t recognize my husband’s covert narcissistic traits until several years ago. I couldn’t fathom that someone could be like that. Like you, I knew something was wrong all those years. I’m committed now to trust God, gain knowledge and work on my own codependency. Glad I found your YouTube website. Thank you for sharing your experiences and helping us still in the hell of a toxic relationship.
Same here, same situation, except that we had 2 children, and I held on for 26 years. We were married for over 3 years when my first child was born, 3 years later came my son. I held on for 26 years. God pulled me through it all and yes, he does heal your heart. So happy to be away from that life of living hell.
29 years for me with a grandiose malignant narcissist. But God has lovingly restored me and made something beautiful from the ashes. Psychological abuse is worse than physical abuse many times. Physical abuse is usually cuts and bruises where psychological abuse can cause dis-ease and harm you years into the future. But our God can heal anything if you have the faith to believe he will. Live in the moment—It takes away the pain of the past and any fear of the future.
My story is very similar to yours, but it took me 28 yrs to realize how bad my marriage was and after I left him God showed me he was a covert narcissist… Everyone was against me leaving him because we are Christians and because everyone says how God hates divorce but nobody understood that in church he was a Christian and at home he was horrible but I oder him 1 1/2 ago and filed for divorce it’s been hard but I must trust God 🙏
100% my Testimony!!! I’m 6 years out, and still feel guilty or confused about if I “can use it as my Testimony”…..may I use it as my Calling? Cause I am a Survivor, and God saved me miraculously out of this marraige. Like I never could think how….new job, new house, new area….I could flee like the Israelites fled from the Egyptians…and the Sea was opened for me….
Thank you for this! I’ve been married for 6 years, and this is exactly where I am. The similarities between your story and mine is remarkable, and I’m at the place of surrendrance. Either God will change him or deliver me. And as much as it hurts right now, I’m ready for either one because He is with me and for me. Thank you Kris.
God is so good, this is my story and to see that is so many other people story. The father clearly told me that he was my test and I walked in it anyway. He lied he was addicted to porn. And just like you, I can’t act like the victim I knew in my spirit it was wrong. I was praying for God to take my life and then I made a prayer closet. I came closer to God but I was still asking for what I wanted and not his well, and one day as I was praying, the father spoke Freewill to me and I knew going through all that counseling with him was not changing anything. And God gave me away out. He told me he didn’t love me and he didn’t want to be married rejection rejection. Rejection, but the father brought me to San Diego. I am healing, and I am getting delivery every day and staying focused on the father. Thank you for sharing your testimony. I needed to hear that this morning. God bless you my sister in Christ.
Thank you for sharing. God delivered me from marrying a man like this. I wanted to be married so badly.. I thought I finally found the guy. But three weeks after the engagement his colors came out full force. I would love to say I just walked away… but I went back a few times. God threw sooooo many flags on the field. Eventually I got it. The thing was I wanted to be married before 40 and at least have the opportunity to have children. Alas… I am turning 44 this year.. never married.. no kids. And I will say this… what I went through for a handful of years with him brought me so close to the Lord. I wish it didn’t take that but God used my crying out to Him about my ex to work on MY heart. I now enjoy a close relationship with Jesus. I still would like a godly spouse… but I will not rush it.. I won’t control it.. and I won’t force it. It was my own fault I went back and forth with him. It wasted a number of years for me… but God wasted none of it if that makes sense!
Kris, at 42 years of marriage I’m in the middle of a divorce. It often takes time to put all the pieces together and match them to what the Bible says about them. What you said in the Narcissistic Twist helped me most. Not once in the last 29 years, when I pointed out what she said or did that caused a problem, did she say something like, “I’m sorry,” or “You’re right”, or “I’ll stop doing that”. As a Biblical Counselor I modeled such communication skills to her many times, but she never reciprocated. SO, THANK YOU for what you are doing!
Awesome testimony. I also submitted to my Lord in a desperate situation with my husband. The work that God needed to do in me was necessary. Sometimes we don’t understand why God is telling us to do something we don’t understand. His ways are higher than ours and He will always work things for our good. We need to trust in Him
I can relate 100%. I am STILL with my narcissistic / toxic husband. 10 years. I saw the warning signs ….. mostly the extreme EXTREME anger outbursts. The gaslighting…..TONS of gaslighting. ALWAYS ALWAYS blaming me. He too is significantly older than me. 20 years to be exact. I do not feel God is releasing me. Yes, this has pulled me closer and closer to God. So, praise God for that. I too have done the, “God!!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!” prayer. I do think I see some signs of God changing him. I hope. Kris Reece ….. do not apologize for hating your ex. I get it. 100% understand. I feel like day by day I just go through whatever the waves throw at me. I keep telling myself that many wives have it a lot worse. And, yes, that is true. I know that I NEEEEED to lean in to God, fully.
Great testimony! My life is a real mess . 45-year marriage to a crazy person. You’re so right they suck the life out of you. It’s very complicated here as I have several children now. My grandma warned me. I still remember her wrinkled worn out sad face. Kept going back. Kept forgiving. Got saved. In my marriage when Bill Gothard was popular, been very very damaging. I love the Lord all my heart. I just think he’s got to be coming back pretty quickly. Why even bother? sad part is there’s never been any accountability for the things that have happened. All the blame has been shifted to me. Bottom line, any of you young married girls out there or guys don’t keep going deeper if you know it’s not right. You’re only digging your own grave and you’ll never get out! Seek the Lord while he may be found.. pray and listen to godly council then do something about it! Don’t wait! Thank you so much for your website. You are a bigger blessing than you know 🙏💞
When I was still with him I begged God for forgiveness for all the things he blamed me for and all the things he accused me of doing or being and I lost the peace that passes all understanding. After the divorce and being stalked and threatened by him and his minions was done I finally got on my knees and repented of my actual faults and sins. Then I felt that peace that passes all understanding and I’m so grateful to God who deserves all the glory. I judge you to be a human being who is trusting in our trustworthy savior!
You are telling my story too. 25 years of marriage hell and I did the same thing “I will win him over with my love” and all the other phases, but that doesn’t work and it just got worse. I didn’t know about narcissists until after the divorce when after year we got back together (i felt like an idiot) and then things spiraled quickly. After research, I realized what was going on. They are hard to get rid of and I cried out to God for months, on my face on the bedroom floor. He finally got into legal trouble and was sent to prison. I was left a broken, sick mess, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. After he was in prison for about a year i got a call from the jail, He had died of a heart attack. Don’t judge me as this was a huge relief. Then I was experiencing Complex Grief and PTSD and had to go to counseling to quit crying every minute of the day. I am convinced they are sent by the devil to try and destroy us. It has been 5 years and I am just now feeling some healing but I don’t feel like I will ever be “normal” again. Yes i take responsibility for marrying him and being out of Gods will.
Kris, thank you or being so open about your personal and painful experiences. When I heard you say “just 6 days after the honeymoon” I gasped. Mine was about a week or so after the honeymoon too. A vicious monster came out. I had been married before and made a massive mistake that came from internal pain from my childhood, and that mistake cost me my first marriage. Even today 24 years later God still has her on my heart. I met someone new even as I was still heavily grieving. I made the mistake of thinking I had to earn God’s grace and maybe if I marry this single mom with three young kids and care for them, maybe then God will forgive me. This was not God’s will. My earthly father was a grudge holding angry person, that was how I saw God for a long time. I have been suffering for 18 years with a narcissist and as a codependent. Your course is helping me with codependency. I am a “doer” as well, with running shoes on. I have to come to terms with the reality I need to trust God COMPLETELY with all of this. But to know there is a deliverance available fills me with hope. Lord, restore me to your will.
I was married to a narcissist and I too knew that I was out of God’s. I stayed trying to make it work until I had to go. My blood pressure shot up. I didn’t listen to people with warning signs. I feel I’m still paying for it. I felt the church held the divorce against me but I couldn’t stay. God did move and deliver me. Thank God!
I also married a narcissist liar who was already married to someone else. God has allowed me to leave the so called “marriage”after 17 years. God released me also from a broken covenant. I’m totally free now. Divorce will be final soon. Nothing is wasted from that 17 years.. God was with me the entire time. I kept my trust in God. However, I didn’t listen in the beginning. I since repented and humbled myself. Thank you for sharing.
I so needed this today. I’ve been married to a narcissist for 20 years. Like you I always new there was something wrong, and within the last 4 months I found out.the name of who he was. Unfortunately for me his health is failing, he has lost half his foot on the left leg and one toe on the right. He has depended on me for his care. This is hard because I realize, he only thinks of his self and not really appreciative of what I do. Ty for this article
I spent 25 years in a marriage like this and prayed for God to release me. I knew that I was partly responsible, trying to escape a narc parent I landed in a familiar place. One day he said he was leaving. I asked no questions I just thanked God and hoped he did not return. I had been threatened many times before. I hoped he was serious, I had had enough. The next week he was back asking if we could go to counseling. This time I listened to God. I did not know what I was going to do financially or otherwise with the children but I knew that for the rest of this journey called life it would me and Jesus. I am still challenged but I am at peace. No lies, manipulation and embarrassment my body and mind are healing. Have courage God is definitely hearing you.
I am not in a toxic marriage but in a 2 year abusive workplace filled with Narcissistic people. I am a bit Codependent and struggling to leave. I don’t belong nor fit in and it’s destroying my self esteem and confidence. Thank You for your testimony and sharing about God’s providence to deliver and restore.💯👍🙏🙂
7 years in counting….I know this is my year of freedom. And no matter what it looks like for me to everyone I know God is on my side and I’ll be delivered soon! In Jesus name! Thank you for this article… It doesn’t change the exacerbated time length but I trust the Lord and am grateful to hear your testimony.
Thank you for your story. As a Pastor I see so many who struggle in this area. I have someone close to me who is dealing with this, it is so hard perusal it happen. I am listening because I want to be able to help those who are trapped and need to get out. I am so thankful for my wife, she is amazing. So I may not see how how destructive this can be in others. Our world is in crisis. Keep up the great work.
Praise God, I know he brought this article into my view for a reason! I have been in a narcissistic marriage for almost 30 years and am so broken emotionally, physically, and financially. Praying, Praying,Praying, please pray for me, I just feel so exhausted!! You gave me hope! I want out but on SSD and no money
I was married to an abusive narcissist and stayed years longer than I should have. 23 yrs. later and my kids and I are still healing, I should have left as soon as God showed me who my spouse really was.. Proverbs 4:23 states “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” God does not expect women to subject themselves (and their children) to abusive husbands.
I loved God, I was in a toxic marriage with covert narcissist. In my case God took me trough the process of deliverance. I was so addicted to my ex that I didn’t want to leave, despite the suffering. In addition to that, I believed that the divorce is never God’s solution, even when the other spouse is extremely abusive and wants to destroy her partner. For my ex it was a perfect deal- she held me hostage and could torture me without consequences. But God is not to be mocked. He delivered me. Now I’m out, go no contact with the abusive ex. I’m sure God will deal with her.
8 years in with a covert narcissist, hes left and come more times than i can count. Only thing keeping me is our young daughter who is so attcahed to both and everytime he leaves she suffers. I hate that I am so miserable and unhappy but really dont even have the strength or desire to pray over this situation or over this person.
It took 28 years for me. I regret and repent but I don’t regret the lessons so I embrace the wisdom that I have received in the last 4 years, wisdom that I was lacking in. I repented for entering into a union that was not for me because we were clearly unequally yoked. I walked on eggshells, I tried to do everything to please him and made him an idol in my life. I was far from being in the will of God. I have been praying to God for years but I was leaning more on what I can do instead of trusting what God can do. So I reached a breaking point and my marriage was hanging by a thread. I’ll never forget that day that I fought with my husband and I walked out the house and I got in my car went to a park then just cried out to God in deep anguish and asked him what do you want me to do. God calmed me down and I went back home. When I approached my husband and told him I can’t do this something has to change in order for our marriage to work and to have peace in our home and marriage. And the answer that I got was what I needed and severed that thread. I walked away as hard as it was but in my separation I sought the Lord. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t easy by any means but as I kept my eyes on Jesus and his promises I was able to learn how to let go, forgive, and love him again from a distance through my prayers on his behalf, and grow my faith in God and his promises. When you belong to God through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ there is Deliverance, healing, restoration, redemption, protection, provision, and the greatest gift of all Salvation.
I also never realized I was married to a Narcissistic person until we were married 40 years and He passed away. By then our children were grown and I was on my own and realized what an unhealthy relationship I was in. I no longer had someone critizing everything I did, I didn’t have to walk on eggshells anymore! I was free to do what I wanted without getting yelled at or ignored. I remember praying to God to help me get through this marriage. And he did, He just took his sweet time.
I definitely can relate with you on not listening to the voice of God. I never wanted to married a divorced man but I was swayed by his love bombing since I was recovering from a terrible breakup. Ten years down the line, I can say I only got free a year ago. I noticed in the process I began to loss my memory. The constant verbal abuse, gaslighting and put downs made me so depressed and suicidal. But I thank God that I was saved by Him about 5 years ago, and through God’s help I’ve been able to stand up to him. But I don’t see him changing cause he is only scared that I will leave him. God bless you so much for sharing your story, it is such a relief knowing that I’m not alone.
I kept seeing the red flags and ignored them not wanting to believe that my kids father had narcissist traits I was set in my own ways not realizing that he’s not the one for me, I finally made up my mind to make God take control and do his will and each day I’m overcoming everything that comes my way with grace. Trust in the Lord lean not on your own understanding 🙏God is everything 🙌🙌🙌
Kris, thank you so much for sharing this. I relate to your testimony so deeply. I am so grateful that you were delivered from this horrible marriage, and I want to thank you so much for using your experience to help other women feel validated and provide comfort by reminding us of God’s promise. I too married a man outside of God’s will and as a result, I was abused in every manner possible. I got free after over a decade of prayer for deliverance and while I have several people trying to make me feel guilty about this, God delivered me from this man and this union was not a marriage that glorified Him. They tell me that I should love him through the abuse and that the fact I wanted to leave to begin with is a sign of my bitter heart, but this marriage was broken by his adultery and abuse and there’s nothing wrong with my heart when I stop enabling his sin which pulls me away from God’s idea of love. When you mentioned being released from your marriage it gave me chills, because I’ve been asking God if I’ve been released from this and confirmation that He approves of my separation and intent to divorce. I feel like this was my confirmation.
Oh. My. Word. This is so close to my story unfortunately 3 kids, 27 years later. 1 year divorced now. I finally prayed “Lord reveal to me anything I need to know, or at me free”. My narcissistic ex divorced me, which even though he tried to leave me story absolutely nothing, is better a narcissist set you free. God is merciful.
My story is similar. I am now out of a toxic marriage and with a healthy husband who loves me and respects me. Two things spoke to me the most, it took her nine years. That does seem like a long time, but in reality, it really isn’t. It took me 5 years to leave my toxic marriage and eight years to remarry. Looking back, it was worth it and time flew. The second thing that spoke to me was trusting in God. I am still struggling with that. Because I’m trying to control everything on my own, my life is still a mess. Great marriage, I’ve done a lot of healing and growth, but I live in fear and I can’t experience true happiness and joy. Thank you for this testimony. I need to do whatever it takes to have a relationship with Jesus and to trust Him fully.
This message came to me at exactly the right time, Praise God! What has transpired in my home in the past 24 hours has made the arrival of this article a tremendous blessing and precisely what I needed. Kris, I thank the LORD for you and your messages, this article brought me to tears by the end. The timing of this one is truly amazing, He is Glorious! Thank you, thank you, thank you! May God richly bless you and your ministry.
Dear Kris I’m so sorry you had to go through this type of relationship. It’s one thing to read about narcissism in a book or watch many articles on this subject, but to be married to a narcissist has got to be the most painful & traumatic experience I could think of. I myself was also married to a narcissist so I understand why this is such a huge topic, and one that needs to be discussed openly. They say that sunshine is the best antiseptic, so thanks for having the courage to bring your personal experiences into the light for all of us to learn from!!
Thank you so much for sharing your testimony Kris! I too was in a sham/scam of a marriage and knew not of God’s will for my life and if I’m honest hadn’t even had a solid relationship with Him to know His love and care for me. Now, I’ve been delivered from that marriage and it feels like majesty, not all the time, but my goodness it’s better than ever before. I too am so used to steering my own life and it’s taken some adjustment to surrender, but each day is a new day to try and try again. Your parting words ring true: God delivers; God heals; God restores. Amen and amen. Thanks again.❤
Wow, my story. You sound like me. Except, we had 2 boys. 22 yrs of a Rollercoaster. A mess. Divorced 13 yrs. I left. Our boys are adults. 31 & 22 The youngest has Down Syndrome who has chosen to stay with his Dad. Our older son has chosen not to have a relationship with his Father. And, because of his decision to do this, I have not seen or heard from my younger son over a year. I call there Fsther and text him, hut he ignores me. He has made sure to cut me completely out of our younger son’s life. I thank God that HE keeps HIS PROMISES. HE knows my heart. HE is healing and strengthening. God’s timing is crucial in all of this. So, when my son comes to see me, God will be sure to be given the Glory. 😊😊 THANKYOU FOR SHARING VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE. SO GLAD THAT YOU GOT OUT. 😊❤
I married my narcissistic ex-husband as a non-believer and 5 years into the marriage I discovered he was having sex with men. I was shattered. But that situation led me to a relationship with the Lord less than 6 weeks after my discovery. I stayed in that marriage because I thought it was the godly and right thing to do. Seven years after my discovery of his infidelity (which was ongoing btw), God made a way out for me. I was scared but I trusted Him enough to leave. Like you, I’ve never looked back. God WILL deliver his daughters from an abusive (narcissistic) relationship.
Honey, I understand you. I left a narcissist too and I still have a family member trying to convince me to ‘make it work’. Now, I was willing to die trying and only left because I finally listened to GOD. Not myself…but God. Yet a Christian relative still is adamant that I go back. Listen to God’s Will, not man’s. Good for you for doing just that.
Tomorrow 12 June 2023, my divorce from a covert narcissistic will be finalized. 7 years of abuse and lies and trauma. I too knew I should not marry him. Addicted to porn on such an evil level. Full of self, inflated ego, always right. But I was the problem. He left me broken, alone and financially broke, and when I eventually called him out on his behaviour, he discarded me.
I was in the abusive cycle over four years with boyfriend. I couldn’t think right. Took prayers but i prayed wrong. I prayed for him to see, act right, know i loved him and to see i was worthy🙄 after it got to me not able to take anymore and wanting to hurt myself i began to pray my way out. I had to get very serious about it and be willing to accept it when the out came. All the pain and agony those years was gone within six months out. It took a year to work out most the kinks left in me. It took work, lots of work. I always thought the pain of leaving would be worse because he trained my brain but it was a world lifted off me and then my eyes and brain saw everything as it really was and i seen things i couldn’t before. I prayed my way out and grace and mercy was given.
I’m surprised by how many Nosey Nellies, who profess Christianity, think they have a right to know the reasons or details for a divorce before they are obligated to cease and desist in negatively gossiping about and judging the cause of someone’s divorce as if it’s guaranteed to be non-biblical. A person can have a biblical divorce and not be morally obligated to share that information with anyone in general, simply because they want to know.
Amen! God delivers and heals! I was raised by religious narc parents, God saved me in college and the next narc came along. As a new believer, I had no idea that “Christians” did not obey Word. He was in the ministry and I was deceived by that. I didn’t know what Jesus said about wolves, false doctrines, and doctrines of men being IN the church by tares, wolves and goats (who do signs and wonders but live in sin and do not show fruit of The Spirit and love to be served and honored instead of following Jesus’ example… these are children of the devil that Word tells us WILL BE AMONG US… wolves never preach about wolves in 2 Peter 2 (also describes narcs) As a new believer, a new wife, a new mother, and a children’s pastor’s wife, the lack of God’s Love I received from Pastors and Pastors’ wives surprised and repulsed me. The more I sought God and asked Holy Spirit to teach me Word, the more I realized that these leaders of a popular denomination actually served and worshipped them SELVES. Someone can call themself a Christian or a pastor… but if they don’t have fruit of The Spirit, they are a bad tree and not even saved (consistent bad fruit that is not repented of shows this.) The LACK of EMPATHY for the abused, the poor, the hurting… these wolves, tares, and goats had NO ANSWERS or compassion for. They are blind leading the blind into a ditch. And you can’t teach them… you cannot toss pearls of God’s Word before them, they trample of Word and on you. They already treat the Holy Word of God as though It is something they can make filthy lucre off of.
Kris’ story is very similar to mine… the only differences being there was not a big age difference, and there were NO red flags until well into our marriage. Like her, I’d never even HEARD of NPD or narcissism until after we had separated and were in the midst of the divorce. The first time I found proof of his infidelity in 2008, we went through a terrible rough patch, and almost split up then. Like Kris, I turned FULLY to God, and my relationship with Him grew stronger than ever in the years that followed. Things SEEMED to get better in the marriage… but they weren’t. \r In 2017, 9 years later (just like with Kris), God practically dumped in my lap ALL of the disgusting, appalling things I needed to see to be fully released with a clean conscience. Up until that very day, I DID pray for His intervention, to change my husband, and BEGGED Him to bless my marriage, and to save it. But it wasn’t to be. Instead, He revealed the truth to me. \r You see, there is an element of free will involved in every situation like this. God may see fit to open the eyes and soften the heart of a person, and that person CAN truly repent and change, IF they understand their faults and are WILLING to change. But God is a gentleman. He will NOT force anyone to change their ways and follow Him. We are not His puppets on strings. He wants us to WILLINGLY pursue righteousness and a relationship with Him, through our own free will… and sadly, most people with narcissistic tendencies or NPD do not believe they are in the wrong on anything.
” Repent, submit and trust God’s timing” Impactful! Thank you for sharing your personal testimony. I had a similar experience in that early on, I realized something was terribly wrong in my marital choice. I knew nothing about Narcissism, but was intent on being the best husband a man could be, loving my wife as Christ loved the church. But, something wasn’t right. My spirit knew, but my mind lagged behind for years. 15 years later, God rescued me from the demonic onslaught I was daily accustomed to interfacing with. Since she left, and I divorced, I am left with a journey of discovery and healing, living one day at a time, taking this world as it is, not as i would have it.
Thank you for the encouraging words through the word of God and sharing your testimony. Truly, one should not be supressed thinking they are going to save the world but should know that the rest is left to the the Lord. I have subscribed and am going to listen to the rest of your playlist. May God Bless You!
I have a very similar story! Especially the faux Christian part, and him telling me soon after our marriage that he wasn’t going to go to church anymore, but that I could go alone! That was my deal breaker, and I told him that, because I wanted a Christian man who would go to church with me! So heartbroken. He tried to hurt me on his jet ski we were riding together; he would make sharp turns and tried to cause me to fall off, but, thank God, I held on with God’s help! He also turned left into oncoming traffic and almost got my passenger’s side in a multiple-vehicle collision, but God saved me then, too! He needs Jesus and mental help! I got out after I found out he was cheating, with proof, after 7 years of marriage. I suspected him cheating a lot, but I waited on the Lord, and it’s always best to do that!❤
Your story is my story! The day we married I stopped dead in my tracks and asked myself why are you doing this; then still married him. He was older than me as well…He delivered me as well we were 7 years…I asked God when would be the right time and He showed up with my answer two weeks later. This was mid June and divorced October. His glory His time…never looked back!
Our stories are very similar. God helped me and my disabled 15 yo daughter to leave. It took us many years and now we are free in another country. He tries to control yet ( money, divorce etc). At least we are in peace. Trust God and do your best to leave. They won’t change. No empathy! Only suffering and sadness living with them. Thanks for sharing.
You may have sung the first verse to this song, but I am singing the second verse. My story is very similar, but I had children. I am a former military spouse and so he used his transfering of duty stations to economically abuse me. I could have a job as long as it did not interfere with my primary job:the house, kids, and whatever he needed. So part time was all I could physically handle. No retirement, no 401K, no savings for me. All money, cars, everything is in his name. I have no out.
38 years for me. He put me through hell. Finally divorced in Dec 22. I see all the signs now looking back. I prayed for things to get better. They never did. God did get me out of that mess and I am so happy to be getting back to being myself and not having to worry about upsetting him. My poor children put up with so much of his twisted behavior too. That is my big regret.
God rescued me from a 33 year relationship and revealed to me what a narcissist was. I finally understood what I had been dealing with all these years. It wasn’t just my ex, but his entire family. I felt dead inside. Praise God, because He brought peace back into my life. Took me 9 months to get the divorce. That was last year. I heard God whisper to me… “it’s been 33 years and you’re still not happy. ” That whisper saved my soul!
I went through the same thing in my marriage i didn’t know what a narcissist was either until my hairdresser was talking about her husband and posting about narcissist online so i started researching then i found out this was my husband to a T… i was way over my head…i also prayed my way out after 22 years of a horrible marriage been divorced 3 years lost a beautiful house and now I’m back into an apartment 💔 😢 i still have a hard time healing from all this…