Engaging in meaningful conversations promotes a deeper understanding of others’ perspectives, nurtures empathy, and encourages active listening and interpretation. To start a conversation, ask thoughtful questions, listen attentively, summarize, and repeat what the other person says. Use engaged body language, pause between sentences, remember the information, attempt to relate, and allow the conversation to end naturally.
Start small and avoid asking about your greatest regret. Building a friendly atmosphere through genuine smiles and observing body language can enhance connection. Mastering the art of asking insightful questions enhances our ability to engage others in meaningful discussions. Building a friendly atmosphere through genuine smiles and observing body language can help adjust our approach and enhance connection.
Be authentic with yourself first, smile and make initial eye contact when initiating small talk. Start simple, ask for help, check your body language, listen and express interest, and strike a balance. Start with 125 deep conversation starters to spark meaningful connections with friends, family, or strangers.
Being an active listener is crucial for connecting with others on a deeper level. Humility is essential in recognizing all parties have a limited outlook and transforming our thinking. Listening with full attention is also essential for a sense of shared connection.
📹 How to have More Meaningful Conversations. 💌
Hey guys! Welcome to Ep 3 of Summer of Self: How to Have More Meaningful, Deep and Interesting Conversations (especially for …
What does it mean to engage with others?
Verb: to interact with someone or something. formal: a teacher who doesn’t interact with students.
Examples on the Web: During the interview, interact with the interviewers and other candidates. Show your teamwork and communication skills. —Ebony Flake, Essence, 26 Apr. 2024 The agency has also worked with Flint residents and stakeholders. —Ash-Har Quraishi, CBS News, 25 Apr. 2024 TikTok’s engine is its hyper-personalized algorithm that keeps users engaged. —Bobby Allyn, NPR, 24 Apr. 2024 After talking to people at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, the idea of a Food and Beverage Innovation Campus was created. —Rick Barrett, Journal Sentinel, 23 Apr. 2024 For women in London, the West End was a place to experience an urban culture that was both liberating and restrictive as shopping became more feminine. —TIME, 17 Apr. 2024 Other tips include keeping your mind active, engaging with friends and social activities, and lowering stress. —Lauryn Higgins, Health, 16 Apr. 2024 But Schwartz also engaged with ideas more than most lyricists did. —Maggie Doherty, The New Yorker, 15 Apr. 2024 Visitors can meet artists and learn about their creative processes. —Jp Shaffer, Miami Herald, 12 Apr. 2024.
These examples show how the word “engage with” is used today. These examples don’t reflect the views of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Tell us what you think of these examples.
“Engage with.” Merriam-Webster Dictionary: engage with. 4 May. 2024.
How to connect and engage with people?
It’s important to be able to connect with people to build meaningful relationships. It means listening, being empathetic, being present, asking open-ended questions, sharing your thoughts and feelings, and being yourself. By developing your engagement skills, you can improve your communication, build trust, and establish positive relationships. Mark contributions as unhelpful if you find them irrelevant. This feedback is private. This feedback is private. We use it to show better contributions.
Why is engaging in conversation important?
Conversations are important for both work and personal relationships. Honest conversations help us find common ground and engage with each other despite differences. Everyone needs to be able to converse. People talk a lot, but don’t listen. Are people avoiding difficult conversations about important topics? Digital communication makes it easy to share ideas that align with popular opinions, but it doesn’t encourage us to consider other perspectives.
Connecting Different Ideas. Conversation matters in many ways. Good communicators often do better than poor communicators. Also, poor communication makes it harder to see things from other people’s points of view. To have an honest conversation, we must set aside stereotypes and biases. To bridge disparate perceptions, people need to be able to set their ego aside. The goal is to listen and talk during difficult conversations. Don’t criticize the person, but the ideas. Focus on finding solutions and learn from people you disagree with. This will help people understand each other.
What makes a good conversation?
Abstract: A good conversation is balanced. It has a mix of simple and detailed topics, stays on topic, and involves both asking and answering questions. Although people often judge the quality of dialogue agents, we don’t know much about how quality depends on different factors. We examine two neural text generation methods to control four attributes for chit-chat dialogue: repetition, specificity, response-relatedness, and question-asking. We evaluate the effect of these control parameters on multi-turn interactive conversations on the PersonaChat task. We analyze how these variables affect high-level aspects of conversation. Our models improve when we control these variables.
How to engage others in conversation?
Here are seven questions you can use to start any presentation, meeting, or conversation. Asking a question is easy. … Share statistics. … Tell a story. … Make an analogy. … Ask for something. … Give a powerful quote. … Tell a joke. First impressions last. In today’s digital world, people decide quickly whether to listen to us. Most research says we have between three and seven seconds to engage people before they move on to other things.
How do you engage with everyone?
5. Let people know you’re listening. Empathy is another way to improve relationships and boost engagement, but it’s often confused. Empathy is not the same as sympathy. Empathy is about helping people feel seen, heard, and understood. It’s about showing you understand. People often share their own experiences to show they relate. This doesn’t make the person you’re speaking with feel seen. It diverts attention from their story.
How to engage in a meaningful conversation?
Be yourself. Think about the other person. Know their differences. … Don’t assume. … Don’t fake it. … Make space for communication. … Ask questions clearly. Avoid closed questions. We’ve all had conversations that didn’t go as planned. You probably thought things through, had good intentions, and phrased things in a way you thought would make sense. So what went wrong? Here’s the thing. Communication is more than words. Many things can impact our ability to communicate effectively, such as a lack of self-awareness, negative feedback, and cultural differences. Our messages are also affected by our bodies and tone. And I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that communicating through social media, text, and chat limits our ability to send the right message. We’ve all witnessed misunderstandings. We must all evaluate our authenticity and emotional intelligence to create a more meaningful conversation. Here are 12 tips for better communication.
Why is it important to engage with others?
Leaders who change lives connect with employees by embracing differences. I have a simple question for you. What does engaging others mean to you? There are many reasons to engage others. It reduces staff turnover, improves productivity and efficiency, and even retains customers. Engaged employees are said to be happier at work. In this lesson, I’ll show you what engaging others is all about. Engaging others is not about how many followers you have. It’s about recognizing and appreciating differences among people. Doing…
What are the 5 steps to a good conversation?
Listen more than you speak. … Ask questions based on what the other person said. … Take a moment to choose your words. … Be open. … Think well of the person you’re talking to. Listen more than you speak. The more you listen, the more you can talk about what you’ve heard. Use this information to connect, reduce conflict, and create unity. Ask questions based on what the other person said. Asking avoids assumptions. If you’re making an assumption, ask if you’re right. Clarifying shows respect and keeps your conversation on track. Take time to choose your words. It’s okay to think in silence. Pausing lets you think before you speak. Think about how your words will sound to the other person before you speak. Ask yourself questions to find the best answer. How will they understand you? How can you make sure you’re understood?
How do you engage people in a team?
Get to know your employees. … Give them the tools to succeed. … Tell them how the company is doing. … Let them grow. … Support them and their authority. … Appreciate your team. … Encourage teamwork. … Hire employees who care about customers.
How to keep conversation engaging?
Keep the conversation going by being interested. … Use small talk. Know the difference between sharing too much and being vulnerable. … Be direct in texting. Listen. … Ask open-ended questions. … Use icebreakers. … Use silence. Talking is hard! Small talk is only so valuable. Once you’ve talked about the weird weather and Love Is Blind couples, how do you keep the conversation going? Sometimes it’s a good idea to leave a conversation and go to the snack table. Sometimes you want the conversation to continue. What about texting? Not understanding body language makes it hard to keep up with emoji-filled conversations.
Whether you’re stuck in an elevator with a stranger, trying to connect with someone, or just hoping to deepen your conversational abilities, we spoke to experts in conversation-making to help you move past a mid-conversation silence.
Nothing kills a conversation faster than a face that says, “I’m waiting for this conversation to end.” Look alert and interested. Don’t stare or nod too much unless you really mean it. Look at the person you’re talking to and react to what they say. Don’t look around the room or turn at the slightest movement. And don’t check your phone, even if you just got a text. Your message is, “I don’t know what this is, but it’s more important than talking to you.”
How do you engage someone you like in a conversation?
Ask for information to start a conversation. Ask for information to start a conversation. Compliment them. … Comment on something nice. Say hello. … Ask for or offer help. … Mention something you have in common. … Ask for an opinion. … Show interest.
- Career development
- 10 Ways To Start a Conversation (Plus 15 Ice Breakers)
Starting a conversation is an excellent skill for networking and building relationships. It can be hard to know what to say when you first meet someone. There are many ways to start a conversation. In this article, we look at 10 conversation starters, 15 ice breakers, and the best topics to start a new conversation with. How to Keep a Conversation Going: 10 Ways to Start a Conversation In the workplace, you can choose any topic to start a conversation, as long as it’s appropriate. Conversations with colleagues are different from those with friends. Your first efforts could start a conversation that will help you build relationships with coworkers and colleagues. Here are some conversation starters for work:
📹 Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People
Welcome to the BeeFriend course. In today’s lesson, we’re going to go over what I consider to be the fastest way to getting better …
Most of my deep conversations are during the night. It is like the darkness makes us more vulnerable and reflective. And it also happens a lot with my brother. Sometimes one of us says to the other: “I have something to talk to you about.” And other days we don’t plan it, we just keep talking for hours. It is beautiful. I am so grateful for him :’)
Something I told a friend who really struggled talking to others was to avoid answering with just one word like yes or no. I said it was fine to answer with that as long as you follow it up with one more sentence. For example, someone would ask “are you into football?” and instead of just saying no and ending the convo I would encourage them to say “no but i really enjoy…”. This also helps out the person asking the questions as it offers new topics for the conversation to naturally flow instead of them having to think of new questions to ask
i once was on an abroad trip with uni and really struggling to find my niche in who to hang around with and felt like i’d had the same awkward small talk conversation with everyone and was feeling very insecure. i then came across this girl who instantly moved past the small talk and went on with really deep and interesting questions, and we very quickly became good friends. i can’t express how much she put me at ease and made the trip to much better for me. big talk people are genuinely the best 🥰
I’m going to be honest, when u said u were doing this series I thought it would be things like getting up early and exercising which of course is good advice but nothing new. This series is so insightful and helpful and specific to things I need. I’m LOVING IT! Thank u for this gift! ❤️ can’t wait for more! 😄
really enjoyed this article!! 💞 i just want to add that if someone isn’t making eye contact / fidgeting it doesn’t have to mean they’re not paying attention, as an autistic person i can actually focus More on what the other is saying when i’m making little eye contact (its really hard for me to maintain long eye contact, and the difficulty distracts me from what the person is saying)!!
When someone tells me about something, I sometimes find myself just replying with a related anecdote that’s about me or my experience, like someone tells me their opinion on something and then I’ll just say my opinion, but recently I’ve been trying to ask a question about what they told me. It’s amazing how much people love that. Often when I just reply with a personal anecdote they’re not really that interested and the convo stays shallow, but a question tells the other person that you want to know more and it makes them feel so good. Then they’ll feel more confident to talk more deeply about what they said because you showed interest. Asking more questions in general, even simple ones, is such a powerful way to make a conversation so much better and it’s very related to what Jade was saying in this article!
A meaningful conversation is one that makes me feel validated, appreciated and leaves me feeling great about my day ✨ I love learning about anything but its hard for me to get to that stage because I tend to overthink and get anxious about myself. I’m currently learning how to value expressing my voice and getting comfortable in a group setting 🙂
I really struggle with this because I always feel like the only reason I am talking to someone is to please them, in the sense that most people simply can’t seem to cope with “awkward silence” even though for me, it’s not awkward, it makes me feel relaxed not to have to try and think about what to say. I love it when people talk at me. I guess I get that from how I grew up. My Dad would always talk and talk about things he found interesting, so nobody else could get a word in.
I love this. Small talk is so superficial. My parents have had mental health problems my whole life and I live with my gran and my siblings. Personally, I have struggled to have meaningful conversations, but I’ve recognised they are important to build deep and meaningful relationships. Thank you, for highlighting ways to have these conversations.
“I am just generally fascinated by people. I love how everyone is a mosaic of all the people in their lives. Like the reasons you do most things are because of someone you know, or someone you are close to. And I think that’s really beautiful. Like all the people who have hurt you, challenged you, supported you, loved you, all of those people have helped create who you are.” -Jade Absolutely love this! I have been trying to figure out how to eloquently word this idea for the past year, so thank you, and I feel the exact same way!
I learnt all this in an optional communication class in school. People were like eww why are you taking that it’s not even a requirement. But I was just interested/ curious and I learnt so much from it. For example the thing that why is a harsh word. I’m just someone who is always very interested in the why and of course I never just asked ‘why?’ but it made me realise I may have phrased my questions a little too harshly in the past without even realising. I’m someone who is very direct and confident in my thoughts and opinions so I don’t mind such questions but in that class I realised it might make others feel uncomfortable. So yeah I learnt lots of new things and it also showed me my strengths in communication such as active listening. But even for the things I already subconsciously was good at, it was valuable to just get everything straight. If your school offers a communication class I would definitely recommend taking it!
A few years ago I was an absolute social disaster. I could not for the life of me keep a conversation going and these are exactly the things that I learned over the years that have helped me tremendously in social situations. And knowing how to have deep conversations can even make you better at handling small talk and it just makes life more enjoyable
To me, meaningful conversation engages both my mind and my heart. Since I have mild ADHD and social anxiety, if a conversation feels boring or stale, I can very easily zone out or start fidgeting without realising. However, get me talking about something deep/interesting (even better if it’s a recent hyperfixation lol) and I’ll be chatting for hours! For example, talking about books/movies/music is always interesting since they can make you think/reflect but also engage your emotions and feelings. I’ve been on a gap year for covid reasons and I’m really missing deep conversation with people outside my family. I’m starting college next month, so hopefully I’ll be able to put these tips into practice 🙂 Anyway, loved the article Jade, and happy to see the plants thriving in the background. My casual magic today is this article 😀 xoxo
Something I just know, while talking to most people, is that I am listening and being attentive to kind of everyone (I think) but not them. This just akes me feel like I am not an interesting person or worth listening to, which is probably true but you know, sometimes I wanna feel like I’m worth something. 🙁
I completely agree about the part where you mentioned ‘energy’. When the vibe of the person clicks with me the conversation just flows and you feel like you’ve know them for a long time altho you’ve recently met them. The best part about conversations is when you find middle ground that both parties can contribute to…everyone has such different perspectives and that’s very intriguing
I love deep chats but I really struggle with eye contact and I have ADHD so being overly fidgety is not necessarily something I can change. My advice for anyone struggling in this way is to go on a walk or talk whilst doing something – that way eye contact isn’t normally expected as often and movement is natural which helps me stay focused. Lovely article Jade! Thanks for your content 🙂
OH MY GODDD I just love the part where you said that people are a mosaic of all the people in their life; like people that’ve hurt them, loved them and everything I just LOVE that! 🤭💓 We can also add books we’ve read, movie characters we like and generally other content we consume, what’d you think?✨
hi jade! i just wanted to thank you for everything your articles have done for me over the past few years. a couple days ago i found out i got 10 9s on my GCSEs and i know there was absolutely no way i could have done that without you. not only did you give me the motivation and self-care advice i needed but you also taught be that studying can be cool, fun and something to find joy in – that’s something that will always stay with me.
I recently started following your work. I consciously intend to appreciate the fact that you have such an organic and accepting vibe to you, you are truly blessed and I know you know it somewhere in your heart. This intention of yours to have fun is all over your articles and definitely your smile just accents it all. Keep on the good work..you genuinely inspire me to be a better version of myself:) Thanks!
Thanks for this! I’m usually a really extrovert person but I always feel so awkward when it comes to start conversation so I let the others do that for me and then we speak a lot. With this article I gained more confidence and now I will start more conversation without feeling stupid or something like that
JADE! You are one of the only YouTubers I’ve came across that I actually enjoy listening to and perusal. Although your on my screen, I feel like I relate to you and I’m with you😂🤷♀️ I appreciate all your articles, and the thought and hard work you put into it all, aswell as studying etc. You really encourage me, thank you🥰💖
when i try to start a deeper conversation i often ask about people’s favourite travel experience. this always leads to fun conversations that don’t feel very serious. but i guess it really depends on who you’re talking to. people around me just tend to be travelers. (it’s definitely my go-to topic in a hostel when I solo travel)
I absolutely loved the intro and your energy throughout the article! there’s one friend that is really precious to me but I feel like we’re not that close anymore because we do not talk as much as before, and I’m scared I’ll lose her as a friend some day, but I hope that by having more meaningful conversations we can grow together instead of apart so thank you for your advice! ✨
I like these 36 questions as an opener to meaningful conversations! With my boyfriend I have a ritual that every year on our anniversary we ask each other these questions and it’s also nice to see how the answers differ and evolve. But the funny thing is that on our last anniversary in October, we were in a nice rooftop bar in Berlin, asked each other the questions and I spotted you in the same bar!! For me it was really a conquest to speak to you because I’m not so self confident, but I did it and told you that you inspire me with every article 🌞 and I was so proud of myself and smiled so much. And the learning for me was definitely: you regret only what you have NOT done and not what you have done. PS: you still inspire me with every article ✨
You. Are. Absolutely. Gorgeous. And I mean not only outside but the way you think and say things, but the way you get people, inspire or remind people what we really need and how to get it. I am an extroverted person, and I always felt (and was told) that I am great listener, warm and I make people feel warmth, but you uploaded this article in perfect time to remind me and make me realise what actually makes great deep conversation. Ps. I was my absolutely in one of the worst times for me for a long time and your articles are enlightening. I wish more people would listen to you. We would all be better to ourselves and most importantly to each other. Let’s create together beautiful memories. Thank you, you seem like a lovely mirage. I would love you to be peace of mine.
I highly recommend the Were Not Really Strangers card game! It’s amazing for vulnerability, connection and really learning something about people you love – and realising we are more similar than we think, and just human experience alone brings us together. The best thing is that it’s allowed to feel forced and a little uncomfortable at first because it’s part of the game but gradually the conversation becomes more natural for all people and I always feel a little lighter and a little closer to my friends after consciously opening up to them
I feel like I’ve been learning how to do this for years, but not known how to explain it as a “meaningful conversation” I’m currently going through starting (and hoping) to get a ADHD diagnosis. I find fidgeting, eye contact and complete focus can be really difficult. Learning how my body language can affect a situation whilst being unable to completely stop it has been a silent, personal struggle. I’ve always strived to make spaces where people can be open and honest, I try not immediately have opinions and wait to digest information later on. That can also be super difficult with being impulsive and quick to blurt out an anecdote the second it comes it to your mind. I totally agree with what you said about judgement being the biggest killer of a conversation. Dealing with sensitivity rejection issues can complicate this. If there’s anyone who’s neurodiverse out there struggling to create meaningful conversations, it’s possible! But it takes effort. I didn’t realise I was struggling more than average to do what seemed SO obvious. It’s been the most worthwhile trait I possess when at times I feel like I have nothing else. Be the positivity and goodness you want to see in the world, and don’t beat yourself up in the process ❤
Today I’m meeting again with my group of friends after more than a year of almost never seeing each other and being together as a group. Often after a big period of time separated from someone I feel like some of the trust and friendship we had got lost. Specially during quarantine, we all went through a lot and grew individually and never really had the time to talk with each other about it. But I hope that by applying the things from this article we get to spend a good and meaningful afternoon /dinner together ☺️
This was so helpful ! Thank you. In less than a month I’m going to start high school and I literally SUCK at meeting new people…. when I try to start a conversation my brain suddenly stops processing and there’s me and that person in an awkward moment….I’ve realized for a long time that I judge people a lot according to how they look ( even if I don’t admire how I look), how they talk etc. I’m trying to let go of that habit but I just can’t help it. Of coarse I don’t say anything offensive but I can’t connect either. I’m going to try to stick to your advice. Sorry for my bad English I’m Turkish.
I think is needs to be talked about so here I am. I have ADHD and a lot of things that neurotypical people see as ‘rude’ or ‘negative’ are actually just the way I am. I interrupt people because I know that in a second I’ll forget what I wanted to say. I interrupt because I remember something relatable and I want to tell you this to show that I understand, I relate and to feel connected. I know that’s not how usually people connect so I try really hard not to interrupt but I don’t always succeed. I fidget a lot because I’m hyperactive and cannot just sit still – and it’s not something I can change. If I just sit for longer it’s a win for me. People that are autistic don’t like to make eye contact. Not because they’re not interested but because it’s hard for them to do so. So please, don’t judge others too harshly. They might have challenges you don’t know about (I wouldn’t tell the first person I talk to “hi, I have ADHD”). And they may be trying really hard but their brain is wired differently. Just please, be understanding
I really want to have more meaningful conversations with my family especially with my mom and my dad bc sometimes I feel like I don’t know what they think or what they feel. My family are the most important people to me and having small talks with them doesn’t feel well, doesn’t feel like I’m appreciating the time with them.
Such a lovely article ! I think I can hold onto conversations decently well and they tend to be deep (like of course after reading the energy, or the person you are talking to gets thoroughly confused and/or irritated)… But still, we all can be better and strive to be a little better everyday. Also, the comfort zone article was my wake up call, apparently I never thought about my ‘fears’ about basic adulting and I executed the ‘one thing I could do this week’ prompt ! Ps Sis that hair is so cuteeee !!! And this format of sit down articles is just such a vibe <3 Btw what books are you reading this summer ?
I honestly find it most useful to try my best to find a common topic, something to share ideas and opinions about (favorite TV show, a city we both visited, restaurant/food suggestions (especially for people with “unussual” diets – instead of asking why someone is vegan, ask them for their favorite recipe!)),…). I feel weird about the whole “how did it make you feel?” types of question, shifting the attention to a “third thing” makes people comfortable to talk.
I’m an introvert who couldn’t understand small talk for years. Now, I see it as a process of bouncing unimportant information against someone to see how they react. Depending on the impression you receive from them, you can gauge whether they will respond positively if you share something a bit deeper and more valuable to you. Some conversations never go beyond the small talk, but that’s ok, because you can’t connect on a deep level with everyone you meet.
personally i don’t know that body language and energy is all that important, i am very extroverted and have never had a problem having deep or shallow conversations with people… but i also have adhd, which means i fidget loads, i struggle to make eye contact and i don’t always appear to be listening – never mind active listening – which are all things she suggested to avoid. i honestly just think it’s about you, if you have something interesting to say and the person you’re talking to does as well then a deep conversation will come naturally no matter what, sometimes you don’t click with people and that’s fine, no amount of trying will create that connection because it’s not there.
My go to “small talk to meaningfull conversation” question is “what music do you listen to”.. If there is ever going to be a connection with the other person I will know based on their answer. Based on their answer to this question I can at least tell wether or not they are in the mood for a deeper and more meaningfull conversation or just want small talk
I think it’s important to ask questions and not just talk about yourself but sometimes the conversation just gets stuck. Like you asked someone a question and they answer it but they don’t ask a question back and you don’t have another question for them. Or if you already asked multiple questions and you don’t want it to sound like rapid fire questions. In that case it’s also okay to start talking about your own experiences without anyone asking for them. Make your story the right size: not too long, the other person gets bored and it isn’t a true conversation anymore, more like a monologue no one has asked for, but also not too long, your story must have some content and has to be valuable and meaningful. Then maybe that other person asks you further questions about it or you just simply ask things like: “how do you feel about that?” Or ” how is that for you?” People tend to feel selfish for talking about themselves in my experience but they often have truly interesting stories and I never would have thought about the question that story would have been the answer to.
Thank you for this wonderful article Jade! I’m an introvert and rather bad at talking to people, but feel like some of these tips might help me in future conversations. On a different note: where is this gorgeous dress from? I’ve been looking for a dress like this for a while now. You look amazing queen ✨✨✨
Do you have any suggestions on how to realize what your energy is and how you could change it? I feel like I’m naturally a bit judgemental (I won’t judge a person as human but will directly have opinions on what they say, basically) and if I’m overthinking I’ll get anxious and awkward and I’ll probably not radiate the best energy
i really loved this article, and it helped me realize things that i do that make me feel closed off to people. the only thing i have a question about is the section mentioning fidgeting/movement. this is something that is very difficult for me as a neurodivergent person with ADHD as well as an anxiety disorder. i’m curious if there is a way i could do both at the same time?
Hey Jade I am so grateful for your advice and your articles. You really help me on my journey of becoming my best version. I have a question to you. This year I started working on my self and on my social skills. I have always being pretty quit and introverted, but I started to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone. I try to make friends but I get the feeling that I am the only one making effort in a friendship or on an event. I don’t mind it at first because I love to genuinely listen to people, but after some time it becomes like my role to always listen and make a person comfortable however I don’t receive the same in return. Do you have any advice for my situation? Thank you in advance!💕
For me a meaningful conversation means somthing to learn about the other person that she/he is insecure about or would just tell anyone.Conversations that makes you feel closer to the person. I think is also just conversation where you talk about nothing secial for hours but you feel comortable and relax and you dont care about the time
I think what makes a meaningful conversation hard to keep up with (at least to me) is the struggle of expressing oneself. Sometimes I have all of these great ideas but it’s too hard to reformulate them into a phrase that would make sense as it does in my mind. So I feel the other one is already annoyed and I don’t want to waste their time anymore.
I love your content! By the way, is there any particular psychologically trick regarding the glass you were holding? Because I have clocked you were holding it in the intro and outro. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but, to be honest, nobody would take the time to go and hold a glass on camera with any meaning behind, wouldn’t they?
thank you for this article. loved it… errr still love it😂✨💕 edit: btw funfact i have more deep conversations than small talk conversations. So i don’t really know where that comes from or what is it about me, buuut ppl tend to open up about every deep topic to me. Like for real I’m kind of the person ppl telling them about their suicide attempt or about their family problems, mental health issues or about their spiritual awaking stories – while we barely know each other, met just a few moments ago or sth like that. I’m kind of fascinated by that. ouh and my casual magic of today is seeing shooting stars. in case that’s it what you call them in English. omg I’m so embarrassed about my Englishs skills, but ey I’m still learning, so mistakes are okay. back to the shooting stars: I’ve never seen any of them and last night i saw ten of them. ten! like isn’t that crazy? I’m so grateful for that experience ✨🙏🏼
A guy i dated told me that i am superficial. It made me think about my life and i feel like i am a boring person and do not have any dept to me. Idk what i want in life and i feel so behind. I do try to ask question about different aspects of life but i feel like i am always the last friend that people would turn to.
I found this article so interesting! I’m a socially outgoing, extroverted person, but sometimes I feel self conscious that I’m actually not good enough at small talk and my conversations go too deep with people I don’t know that well, probably because I’m very comfortable talking about feelings with someone I’ve literally just met. I often think about sort of the opposite to this article…trying to think of smaller conversation starters to let me chit chat with random people without emotions or big thoughts getting involved.
im autistic and cant stand small talk. From my inderstanding, the point of conversation is to come out of said conversationwith information. Whether that information be about the person ur talking to, about yourself, or facts in general, small talk feels unproductive, stale, and awkward. Like, i can see the weather. I know its cold. Ask me about something that actually matters, you know? i dont socialise often, can you tell lmao
☀️☄Journal Progress☄☀️ Ik this is 3 weeks late hehe but I was off socials for a while and I’m catching up lol. 1. How comfortable are you talking to people you know? New people? Answer: I tend to come off as a bit rude ngl in the beginning, but once I get through the first phase of talking, it becomes super easy to talk. 2. Do you tend to stick to small talk and everyday convos or do you also broach more meaningful topics? Answer: I feel like I go about this depending on who I’m talking to. With my closest friends I can easily dump a huge question on them and they will respond well, while with others, casual talk is much better. 3. Imagine having the qualities your best version of yourself has. Answer: Jeez, that version of me would be able to read people’s body language properly lol. Okay I love this question a lot and it reminds me of a quote I saw on pinterest which said something like,”Think about how your best version would handle a problem and do that.” Ty Jade, I loved this article!❤
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. This life isn’t all there is, heaven and hell are very real, but Jesus Christ loves you and can save you. If you will ask Jesus Christ with a genuine heart to please forgive all your sins, and come into your heart and please save you, he will save you and you will soon know how real he is. God bless.
The part when he said “go out and talk to people and you’ll learn what’s not appropriate” stuck a chord with me. I’ve spent years saying inappropriate things and perusal people excuse themselves from a conversation with me. It’s a horrible feeling to see people backing away because I just wanted to be relatable.
For me, the hard part was silences; I was always afraid they would make me or the other person feel awkward. It really helped when I learned that awkwardness is a normal part of life and relationships, and not a problem at all. When you embrace the fact that sometimes there will be silences and awkwardness and that it is okay, talking to anyone becomes 200% easier
If there was one mistake I made in life and now regret, it was that I didn’t spend the rest of my childhood going out and spending time with friends and learning, observing, and building social skills to be able to talk to people. Like everyone in the comments section, I was also socially awkward and introverted, and my dumass old self said that I didn’t need to interact with people because it was a waste of time and energy to even try. That mindset led me to what I am currently feeling: loneliness, pathetic, and a lack of self-confidence and communication. Every time I try to talk, I either talk too fast or say something that people won’t know because I keep on mumbling or stuttering. And the replies I get are “Sorry, I don’t understand?” or “Can you speak slowly?” or “Can you repeat that one more time?” IT’S SO DAMN FRUSTRATING AND I HATE IT, NOT ON THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTING LIKE THIS, BUT IM MAD AT MYSELF FOR WHY I BECAME LIKE THIS. And even after multiple attempts to improve this problem, I still manage to fumble and repeat this cycle again and again. Now all I ever wanted right now is people or at least someone who I could talk to normally and to make sure I kept them accompanied and made them feel comfortable around me, not being an anti-social and awkward person who was dying on the inside and always blaming themself. Right now, I’m still finding ways to be a better social person, and I will promise to become a better person for myself and for those, I dearly want to spend my time with.
Talking feels embarrassing. I’m so nervous about tripping over my words, or saying the wrong things. It feels like a weight is on my shoulder everytime I try to write or talk. I’m breaking out of this mindset and doing better to keep communication steady, flowing, and beautiful like I had when I was a child!
The main point is to reduce online interactions and try to go and interact with people in real life to have all the factors playing like ” sign language, etc. ” so If we want to improve our social and communication skills we just have to try to talk to different people even by saying hi • This is what I have understood from the article and for anyone reading my comment I hope you have a great day
I was way more shy before, but after I stopped worrying about making them talk I kind of just started to talk, and people really appreciate when you are the guy talking. Because it’s better for one guy to talk than for no one to talk. What you also can do is have small pauses to make them talk if they want. Talk, talk about what you do, and one more thing. Why, how and what, these are things you can ask yourself and other people to keep the conversation going😊
Pro tip that helped me break out of my shell: people are always in their thoughts. they’re always thinking more about themselves than you are. Nobody is judging you as much as you think they are and if they are in the rare sitution, judgement is quite literally a reflection of how someone feels about themselves. Basic Psychology !
This is very true. I used to have terrible anxiety, and didn’t help I was autistic. Really it comes with practice. I work customer service now doing pest control so talking to several customers each day. Each time someone wants to talk with me I listen, especially if they are telling a story. You learn so many great things. Even just chatting with people on the street. You begin to realize maybe most people are not as hostile as you once thought and it gets easier.
i was a shy and timid girl, i’m so scared to talk to my friend or classmate. so my first step on practicing to communicate and open up is by greeting the cleaners in my school. i mean they are the one that keep our school clean, so i at least need to appreciate and greet them, right? just a simple “morning!” and smile then walk away, but that small step that i took really help me feel comfortable to speak today
thanks improvement pill, i now get to know why i am like this, such a socially awkward person because in my teen i don’t have much friends in school and always gets trolled after saying something, so i started talking less in school as i starting to develop the fear of getting judge and trolled, at coaching i talks a lot but again people there always talk trash and just troll each other and laugh thinking it funny, so i didn’t learn much there as well, at home my parents never let me go out and talk with any stranger as well and because of this fear that i started to have since my 3rd or 4th class and became deeper in my 10th class, i started to prefer being with myself rather than being with those asshole people, got toxic friends since childhood so if i ever try to make a new friend they just didn’t let me do it as well and i was such a fool to let them do it as well, and that’s how my social skills became worst by time, my 11th and 12th was in lockdown period so i was so comfortable at home as no school,no more need to see those people’s face again, just gave exams and straight back to home, got literally no friends in class as well, but now when i worked upon my confidence, i will definitely try to interact with people as i need to learn how to talk as soon i need to get into corporate world, so yup thanks, i think i wrote too much haha, if you read till here, thnks buddy, have a nice day 🙂 (even i learned to communicate and express myself in comment sections better through observing other comments, how they just vent out without fear of getting judged, so thanks to it i got unfiltered in comment section communication, haha)
One thing that helps me is to realize that everyone is just a person. No matter if it’s your crush or just another person, they aren’t actively evaluating you and determining whether you are worth being around. They’re just talking to you. You’re also just a person to them and they’re not gonna think your stupid for approaching them, especially if you are already friends.
I cannot second more what it’s being said in this article. I used to be a very awkward kid, kind of nerdy and insecure in every aspect of life. So I decided to pick up a career that would put me in the game so I could master social skills: I studied and took a degree in nursing. Now I talk to people 90% of my week, I can say yes it does improve, but you still have to put some effort in it and apply to really understand the setting and stuff. But it does pay off indoubtedly (many patients now appreciate my person and enjoy socializing with me even though I still feel a little bit awkward sometimes).
My biggest problem is that if someone judges me of my talking. I hate and I am scared of people who judges me and I think that’s why I am always quiet and shy. When I am around my bestest friends I will be completely a whole person but when there are strangers in that room I suddenly become silent. In school also if there is any programme or interaction classes I starts to stammer while talking. My head becomes completely blank while I am talking in front of my classmates/schoolmates. Next week I am joining medical course. So I know that there will be so many cases in which I should interact so that’s why I am searching for articles that helps me interact. I wish this course will be my turning point of my life of becoming a confident and courageous person who I have always dreamed of.
I’ve learned to just stay calm. I used to get anxious when talking to people, especially random people who just walked up to me. Wether it’s a causal convo on the street, or a job interview, I always listen to understand, think about the question/statement, and then respond as if we are friends just having a convo. I also find that smiling and being open tends to help a lot as well, and that makes the other person feel comfortable enough to have a conversation.
I liked the challenge of 100 interaction 😍 Making friends and socializing with people who will help us to improve is soo crucial. This requires us to go beneath the facade of social media, and jump on to interact with as much people as possible in real life in order to learn more from them and about them .
I used to be very shy. A couple of months ago I said life is awesome and just started naturally talking to people. Literally with anyone. When I didn’t know what to say, basically the first thing that came to my mind I said it. I was talking one time with a stranger about the weather and then when the silence came, I literally started talking about the school systems out of nowhere. At first it was VERY awkward, I was like an alien, I didn’t know anything but right now I’m very different than a couple of months ago. I started loving and having respect for myself. Then everything else started coming to me positively. I’m still improving but I’m not really shy anymore.
I’m very socially underdeveloped. I was born with bad eyesight and it’s extremely difficult to “observe” the social goingons from a visual standpoint. I’m incredibly shy, and have learned the art of “becoming invisible.” I have lots to do to catch up to my peers in that aspect, but I always thought it was interesting how my eyesight, albeit mixed with my introverted personality, makes it so hard to be social. I just learned the other day, that people smile at each other when they pass by each other, at least where I am. No one ever told me for almost 17 years that that’s what you do, because people usually just figure it out. Sad, but absolutely fascinating to me.
Thanks to your article I know how far I really am with my social skills especially by far as to how to communicate with other people and most of the time I struggle on what I need to say whenever I do have something in my mind but then I forgot what I need to say and sometimes I don’t have anything to say which can be very difficult for me to start conversations with some people I’m interested in and I’ve been dealing with this problem since my middle and high school years.
I’m shy, awkward, introverted and I overthink a lot. This is why I don’t socialize. It’s exhausting but I’ll try. Edit: Dude, I didn’t even know it’d reach this amount of likes. I thought my comment was just cringe asf. An update in my life for those who’re curious; ftf classes started and I am faced with a bunch of people to interact. The first day of school was nerve-wracking. I had to sit all by myself in the corner of the room as I knew no one. However, I was not entirely alone. There was one person in front of me who also seemed to be really nervous just as I am. Hence, I tapped on their shoulder and made light conversations like, “what’s your name?” “you should sit next to me, I feel kind of lonely all alone here hahaha”. One way to enhance your communicating skill is to make the first move. I, myself don’t like small talks but everything has got to start from scratch. My hands were literally shaking. I was thinking of how to continue the conversation. Luckily, this dude was quite talkative, hence everything went well and we became friends. I felt awesome after that. I’m still working on how to talk to a big group of people but this much is already a big improvement on my side.
I struggle to transition from small talk to deeper conversations, and im always scared of saying something stupid or weird. But i’ve been learning slowly but surely that it doesnt matter if i mess up, life goes on, and people who are worth keeping in ur life wont care about if u say something dumb or weird
I’m also facing this same problem.. When i communicate to others thinks that i make him / her bored so that’s my first reason why I’m not extrovert….now when i watch your article about the same topic realised that it is not matter what others think on my skills it’s me who is gonna improve myself for better tomorrow so, from today onwards i am not getting afraid to speak in public place or around groups of peoples… Thank you for this article and it helps me for giving a kick to improve my skills
My actual handicap is my lack of interest into a communication with others. I literally can’t even think of a topic to talk about and find myself too often to be way too different anyways. But in the rare case I have a similar interest like the other person, I actually find myself capable of prolonged small talk. (But heck, that’s rare.)
There’s something so sad about these kinds of articles. As an introvert, I don’t normally talk to people but as moments progress, we really meet some amazing people we want to have a conversation with and it really sucks when we don’t know how to maintain them. I’m afraid I’ll lose them someday because of how inexperienced I am of this. It’s never easy but still, we’ll get through these introverts 🙂
I grew up in abusive household, didn’t get to go out and socialize much. All those years was hell for me. I become too self-concious, had low self-esteem and severely depressed. At school, i wanted to start talking but didn’t, because i felt i had no experience and i would just sound dumb. Few years later, i went to college and met inspiring people that helped me become better. Don’t ever let people’s negativity bury you, Don’t ever be afraid of becoming better.✌️🦋
Yo bro thanks on letting me know on how I could get better at talking to people, because for the most part I am really awkward and shy and don’t like meeting new people, but after seeing your article it really makes wanna go out and start a new conversations with people, but like what you say it dose take time so I’ll start practicing it so I can improve.
I grew up being introvert and timid so socializing to people is what I’m really scared of. I just feel like once I stutter or make mistake, they’ll judge me. But then, recently I started to change my mindset and slowly practicing how to communicate without sounding awkward. It was hard but sure will get used to it if you’re consistent. I’m glad I watched this article and learned a lot on how to be better at talking. So to anyone who’s like me, always remember that everything takes time, so keep practicing and never give up!
Soy realmente una persona asocial, y ahora que fue todo esto de la pandemia me volví aún más, ahora que regresé a presenciales en mi universidad veo que soy la única que siempre está sola y callada, entonces he decidido vencer con esto, regresaré en un tiempo y espero regresar un poco mejor a como estoy ahora
I’m autistic, so it’s a little bit funny to me to hear “you’re not born socially handicapped”, lol, sure. That being said, the thing about practice is absolutely true. People usually think I’m a little weird, but that doesn’t change that I have several friends in my irl school and I’m fairly decent at talking to strangers Some other tips that have helped me – Media can be a huge help in observing social interactions. Books, films, shows, casual YouTube articles, are all great for perusal social interaction. For me, the game changer was, ironically, social media – I could reference things other people talked about and see how people joked with each other. – People like to talk about themselves, so always make sure the other person has a chance to ask and offer input – Don’t talk about negative things unless you’re specifically venting to a friend or loved one – it can be really off-putting to get the life story of a stranger – Generally speaking, people are more forgiving than you think. Don’t stress too much about being awkward, and laugh about the stuff that is. The other person is often nervous too – make them know it’s okay, and don’t judge people by your perceptions of them
Something that really helped me improve my social skills is getting a job, especially one that works with the customers. Things like talking to customers and taking orders or working the register has forced me to talk to strangers. I learned a lot from my more experienced co-workers by just perusal them and understanding what to say. At first I was really nervous, especially since it was my first job, but I credit all my social skills now to that.
This is so true. I’m very socially awkward, but in high school I decided to set myself a goal of doing things out of my comfort zone and even though I’m still not a social skills specialist, but the more people I tried to randomly talk to and even invite for awkward meetings the better I got at interacting with others. Practise is the best exercise.
For those who came out of quarantine thinking something was wrong with them for not knowing how to communicate, you’re not alone! Nothing is wrong with you, it’s just what happens when the most social interaction you had for a year was over text/zoom and talking to your family. If you want to improve your social skills, definitely take some time to talk to people and pick up on all of the little cues people leave (like posture, tone, eye contact, etc.). I wish you all the best of luck!
You know, imagine yourself as a person or character you admire, have posture, then go and talk to the person without thinking twice, because if you do, you fall in the trap of your mind. Even if the conversation doesn’t goes well, you should see it as experience, as a lesson to be taken, so you can improve. Allow yourself to commit “errors”, nobody is perfect. The best way to improve is practice.
It’s also who you interact with. I’m a manufacturing engineer so I’m always relaying input from the operations staff to the engineering staff and they both communicate in very different ways. Ones a lot more formal. I often make dumb comments that would make total sense in the other group, but say it to the wrong group and leave them feeling confused. Half my job is grouping people together and communicating, however, due to the different social circles, it can be difficult at times.
i always struggled to talk to strangers and it developed into a fear. i then forced myself into getting a job where i was a cashier, that way i would have to talk to strangers. when i first stared, i remember always stuttering or practically whispering. even planning what i was going to say. and today i actually noticed how i wasn’t even nervous anymore, and when someone would ask me questions that i wasn’t expecting, i was able to answer confidently and not panic like i used to. it really is just about practicing
Protip that helped for me: I upped my social skills by applying for a job in retail (clothing). The pay sucks, sure, but if you see it as “I’m learning and getting paid for it” it gets better. You’re forced to interact with so many different kinds of people (customers) the entire day and you have a team of awesome colleagues to help you get better at it. Even if you do the job just one day a week, you’ll learn SO MUCH, so fast!
I honestly don’t like enjoy or like being socially awkward. I know others revel in it or even embrace it but you know you need a balance in your life. I’m glad this article popped up for me, because I would of never looked it up myself (pride is a real funny thing these days). I watched the article with low expectations and then I absolutely loved the idea you gave me with the 100 people (my anxiety hated it but my brain knows it’s totally the right thing). I hope one day I can put that effort forward and actually try to see if I can improve, thank you!
Thanks! Even tho this might come as a “just do it” type of advice, it’s really reinforcing to know that the best way it’s to actually practice. I’ve been going to a church recently with a lot of people in it, and I do feel a difference in how comfortable I’m at talking to people. Now I’m sure that if I keep at it, I’ll get better and better day.
In middle school, I had friends. Though at first they weren’t really friends, just people I stayed with because I knew no one else’s name. After they cracked a joke at my expense, I figured to try and force myself open up to other people, thus meeting other people as well, which was hard enough as it is because I was rather introverted and uninteresting. I ended up in multiple friend groups by the end of 7th grade and somehow became more social. And when I went to high school where no one from my middle school went, I decided to do the same approach in a place where no one knew each other. I forced myself to talk to other people and that soon turned into many relationships. This article basically explained that you gotta actually force yourself to talk to other people in order to learn.
This is so true. I’ve stopped using social media for about 3 days and I can feel a huge change in my social life and mental health. Life is so much more easier when your mind isn’t everywhere at the same time taking in so much information. I feel so much in touch with my surroundings. I would recommend everyone to limit your time with technology and allow you mind to detox.
I wish I grew up before the internet. Unfortunately I was raised around the era so all I know is social media etc. I deleted all my social media to try and grow verbally and connect with others but it seems impossible. Not giving up, I hope all of you struggling with the some or similar issues overcome this obstacle and you can master your communication skills, best of luck <3