Great marriages exist, but they are rare. Married people generally report being happier than singles, but psychologists debate whether marriage causes or selects for happiness. The five most important features of a happy marriage include deep friendship, deep understanding of each other, and good mental and physical health. Happy marriages can be correlated with increased average life expectancy for many.
In the United States, half of Americans ages 18 and older were married in the 1960s, and the share of marriages ending in divorce increased from the 1960s to the 1990s. A 2021 survey by Health Testing Centers found that over 46% of respondents in a monogamous relationship said they had affairs, and nearly 24% of marriages affected by infidelity.
Maintaining sex is designed to keep both partners content in long-term relationships or marriages. A larger share of adults have cohabited than have been married, and among adults ages 18 to 44, 59% have lived with an unmarried partner at some point in their lives, while 50% have ever been married.
Research suggests that rates of cheating differ based on various factors, including age and gender. In the modern age, having a halfway decent marriage prospect is difficult or impossible.
On average, 74% of Americans say they are happily married, but only 10% of marriages in the US are healthy and happy. Getting married significantly increases happiness within a 2-year time frame, but the effects at the 4-year window are somewhat diminished.
📹 Secret To A Happy Marriage – Couple Married Over 50 Years
Ivy and Gordon have been married for 52 years. We asked them what they think the secret is to a long and happy marriage.
How common is it to be married 3 times?
Many Americans have been married three times or more. Census data from 2013 shows that over 9 million Americans have been married three times or more. That’s about 5.3% of all married people. That means more than 5% of married Americans have been married three or more times.
There is also regional variation in these numbers. In Kentucky, 7.9% of married people are on spouse #3 or more, which is about 1 in 12. But Arkansas is the capital of serial monogamy, with 11% of married residents having been married three or more times. The northeast and upper midwest have the lowest rates of serial marriage. New Jersey has the lowest rate, with only 1.9% of married people having been married three times or more. See the table below for the numbers for all the states. Davis converted to Christianity four years ago. Most of her marital history happened before then. Her defenders say it’s not fair to blame Davis for not following Christian values before she became a Christian.
What are hardest years of marriage?
Divorce lawyers, psychologists, and researchers have rated the risk of divorce based on how long couples have been married. Low risk.
Home People also ask: What are the hardest years of marriage?
Years 1–2: Very risky; Years 3–4: Mild risk; Years 5–8: Very risky; Years 9–15: Low risk; Years 15 and over: Low to Mild Risk; in 2019, 2,015,603 marriages happened and 746,971 divorces were granted in America. That means about a 37% divorce rate. The average American marriage lasts about eight years.
At what age are married couples the happiest?
People who are married are happier than singles, no matter their age, race, or gender. The data shows that being married is a better predictor of well-being than other factors like education, income, politics, and religion. Even when researchers controlled for other factors, married people were still more likely to be thriving than singles. A married person without a high school diploma was happier than an unmarried person with a college degree.
The link between well-being and marriage may affect whole communities. People in areas with more marriages, like Provo, Utah, were happier.
Is anyone truly happy in marriage?
These trends are wrong because they are based on bad data. Married people are happier than unmarried people. Data from the GSS shows that 36% of married people say they are “very happy,” while just 11% say they are “not too happy.” This is compared to 22% and 15% for people who have never married. Married people are happier, even if public views change. Some people are skeptical of the benefits of marriage. Married people are happy, but it’s not because of marriage. Maybe happy people get married more often! There is evidence to support this view. A paper showed that happiness rose before marriage, peaked in the year of marriage, then declined. This was more noticeable for women than men. Other papers have built on this, such as a recent paper that compared cohabiting and married people. It found that marriage makes people happier, but not because of marriage itself. Many people think that marriage makes people happy, but this is just because happy people get married. This research is even more pessimistic than it sounds. The same methods that suggest marriage doesn’t impact happiness also suggest that many other life experiences don’t impact happiness much. This research suggests that poor, unemployed, lonely, or disabled people are less happy because they’d be unhappy no matter what. Other recent research challenges the pessimistic view. Data from a large British survey show that marriage increases long-run happiness. This suggests that “selection” is not the whole story. Maybe marriage doesn’t make Germans happy, but it does make the English happy. A paper using Taiwanese data found that marriage makes people happier, but there was a lot of variety in happiness trajectories. Christians might get more happiness from marriage than other people.
How often do married people make love?
How often married couples have sex. According to the 2018 General Social Surveys, about 660 married people shared how often they had sex in the past year.
25% had sex once a week; 16% had sex two to three times per week; 5% had sex four or more times per week; 17% had sex once a month; 19% had sex two to three times per month; 10% hadn’t had sex in the past year; 7% had sex about once or twice in the past year. A study of 35,000 Brits published in 2019 found that about half of couples have sex less than once a week. In 2013, AARP reported that in a study of over 8,000 people over 50 years old, 31% of couples have sex a few times a week, 28% have sex a few times a month, 8% have sex once a month, and 33% rarely or never have sex.
Is a good marriage rare?
Most of us are not in good relationships, even if we don’t leave. But fewer happy marriages exist than I thought.
What percentage of marriages are happy?
Most married Americans are happy in their relationships. This shows how happy married Americans are in their relationships. Most married people are happy in their marriages. Marriage can be a source of joy and fulfillment. This shows that marriage can be good for many couples. The happiest couples have an “intimate friendship.” 70% of happy couples say this is the most important factor for their satisfaction. This shows that a successful marriage needs an intimate friendship. It shows that a strong bond between partners is important for a healthy and happy relationship. This shows that couples should build a strong friendship to have a lasting and happy marriage.
Marriage Happiness Statistics. Two-thirds of married adults say trust is key to a happy marriage. This statistic shows the importance of trust in a happy marriage. Trust is key to a happy marriage. Couples who prioritize trust are more likely to experience marital bliss. This statistic shows what makes a successful marriage. It should be considered when discussing marriage happiness statistics. 81% of married couples say openly discussing finances is crucial for marital happiness.
Is it common to be unhappy in marriage?
Why am I unhappy in my marriage? Marriage is full of ups and downs. It’s normal to feel unhappy when you argue a lot or don’t see eye to eye with your partner. A marriage is hard work. If you’re unhappy, you and your partner must sit together, communicate, and work on it. But it’s easier said than done. You and your partner may not know how to start this conversation. A marriage and family therapist can help with these conversations. Here are some reasons you might be unhappy in your marriage. 1. Not enough intimacy. Most people think of intimacy as sex. But if you don’t feel close, any connection feels empty. Emotional intimacy means learning about your spouse and understanding their hopes, dreams, and motivations. If this is missing, one partner may feel unappreciated or like their partner doesn’t know them.
What percentage of marriages are successful?
How many marriages end in divorce? The American Psychological Association says that about 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. About 60-67% of second marriages end in divorce. How many marriages end in divorce? In 2019, 2.2 million marriages ended in divorce, which is about 37% of all marriages. What is the current divorce rate? The current divorce rate in the US is 3.2 per 1,000 people. In 2019, about 827,261 divorces were recorded, and since 2000, over 8.3 million divorces have been granted.
What are the odds of being happily married?
Psychologist Ty Tashiro says that only three in ten married people stay in happy marriages. I could give you more stats, but they don’t help much. Most studies look at divorce rates or how long couples stay married. Being “not divorced” doesn’t mean they’re “happily married.”
How many marriages last 40 years?
17. 67% of first marriages end in divorce.
18. Among all Americans 18 or older, 25% have been divorced.
19. Today, 15% of adult women in the US are divorced or separated, compared with less than 1% in 1920.
20. On average, first marriages that end in divorce last about eight years.
Duration of first marriages that end in divorce: Males: 7.8 years; Females: 7.9 years.
What is the #1 cause of divorce?
Why people are getting divorced in the United States. 42. A recent survey found that lack of commitment is the main reason for divorce. Here are the reasons and their percentages:
- Lack of commitment 73%
- Argue too much 56%
- Infidelity 55%
- Married too young 46%
- Unrealistic expectations 45%
- Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
- Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
- Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%
(Respondents often cited more than one reason, so the percentages add up to more than 100 percent)
What Makes People More or Less Likely to Divorce? Your age. 43. 48% of those who marry before 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared to 25% of those who marry after 25.
📹 The Key to a Happy Marriage That Most People Forget About
#JordanPeterson #JordanBPeterson #DrJordanPeterson #DrJordanBPeterson #DailyWirePlus #Relationship #Relationships …
This man is so fundamentally engaged with truth that he made it the backbone of his whole life. Relationship, career, and even his private thoughts are constantly engaging with fundamental truths. Such a masculine ethic, one of the two highest virtues. I would argue that the feminine highest virtue is caring. This isn’t a simple idea to discuss the way truth is. I watch my wife do it with my son, and even with me. Just a willingness to accept you in your worst moments, and be there to love you through it. Whether that’s a baby screaming or a man depressed, she is there to emotionally calm the storm and say “everything is okay”. And without saying it, she will give the ability to say “nothing can touch us, because what you and I have makes it all worth it.” It’s what gives meaning to all of life. A muse. Without that, the truth just feels hollow, like solving a complex equation without context.
I’ve been with my partner for 34 years. We figured we’d get married when it was time to have a child and then we waited 15 years to do that. By then, neither one of us felt the need to get married. I think the key to longevity is respect for each other, shared values, the ability to compromise and be willing to redefine your relationship at various points. As the decades go things change and you change. So you need to reassess the ground rules from time to time, ditch old habits that no longer serve you and create new ones that can serve you into the future. My partner and I have done this many times in our relationship.
One thing keeps blowing my mind.Most beautiful women don’t know they are beautiful unless repetitively told.My spouse is great for me.Im still surprised how she still needs me to validate her almost all the time.”Gold does not loose value for the lack of praise”. I agree there are always exceptions,but I wish to hear Dr.Jordans take on this. Greetings to everyone.🙏🏾
Yesssss!!!!! On 3rd marriage. 😉 First was 2 yrs, young and dumb and can look back and know the “why” of it. We are friends! The second was “familiar and a pregnancy”. It took my 4 months postpartum to think this was a good idea. 16 years later he made the break. It was the right decision for us both. We are friends! It took till my mid 40’s to find myself in love with a sweet cement head of a man and we took 3 years to learn how to fight because we both were too afraid of losing this great thing we’d found. When we learned that neither of us were going anywhere we got lazy and fought too much. Both too stubborn 😂 We may not be a storybook love story but we both know how to laugh at ourselves and each other and put effort into our own things we like yo do that doesn’t involve the other while supporting the others interests. He recently did the humane thing and freed me from perusal football with him YAHOO! I tried to get into it ! But after 15 years he’s given up on me and so don’t make him watch CrossFit with me. 😂
Pre-marital counseling, from Dr Peterson if you can get it but otherwise from your church minister. If you don’t have a church minister that does it or can do it move church now, there will be a lot more wrong with that church. If you don’t have a church minister then start looking round your local churches for one where they use the Bible and are not afraid to mention sin.
I have to disagree with Peterson on this. I’ve been with my spouse since 1991 and we agree on most everything. We are very similar people with reasonably similar interests (jazz/opera). With enough difference that we can both grow. And we are very honest with each other. You don’t need strife in a happy marriage
The price you pay for not learning these strategies to create a healthy relationship are very terrible. After sixty years of marriage you will basically hate one another, and rely on your children as your ally, using them to feel good about being “right”, if they will permit. And this in turn will pit your adult children one against another depending of whether they choose team mom or team dad, or try to remain neutral. You will shift all your resentment onto your mate, and whichever adult offspring will not be on your team. This happens because you have never developed the maturity to settle your own disagreements. And you will scar your children creating the same level of inability to problem solve.
The thing with speaking truth n being honest in any marriage is it gets really really tough for initial few years but the most b’ful thing is, with time it just gets better n u love the other person more each day bc u know both of u r being genuine.. on the other hand if u r not honest, married life is pretty easy initially but u end up having a bad relationship as the time goes by because lies n false promises don’t go a long way.
We just love each other, I guess this helps a lot. He‘s been in my corner for many many years as I‘ve been in his. We never lie to each other or our children and we show our emotions without trying to hurt each other on purpose. We argue about things we don’t agree on in the moment, never about things long past, because past fights are long gone and there are no old grudges. And at the end of a hard day we fall in each other’s arms, no matter what. Sometimes we are too tired to lift a limb, but we never ever let our love life just die like some couples I know, not even when the kids were little. There is always a possibility to do things to each other, even if it is some fondling in the kitchen or graping each other’s asses when nobody’s looking. You just have to be aware of each other as lovers and as persons with real feelings. I mean he is not just some random guy who is living under the same roof and raising our children. He is my guy and I take care of what‘s mine and if it goes both ways, it‘s a good base for a successful partnership.
GOD says Divorces are because of OUR HARDENED HEARTS and not for any real reasons except for adultery. Also Society is supposed to aid Couples in keeping their marriages strong instead of creating rumours and breaking the couples apart. GOD is part of the marriage and the Couple is another part but so is the community who are to support and defend the couples marriage.
Just read an article about marriage that was re-published online by Esquire mag, originally published in print in ’96, written by Lynn Darling. There were so many JBPesque points made about relationships and the balance of order & chaos within a successful marriage, written with the poetic honesty that only someone who’s been there would be able to express. I really hope Dr. Peterson has read it!
I liken relationships to a circle of metal, It has a tiny cut at the top. Each of you represent one end of the circle. If one of you shrinks back for whatever reason, the other should grow to cover the gap….think bereavement, illness, stress and such. However, as you recover, you should grow back to ease the burden on your partner having to “grow” to fill the gap. When you get this right. THEN you have a good relationship – supporting each other. If one half fails to make the effort, the other will eventually tire of the stretch and the relationship dies. You might stay together, but….the magic is gone. ❣
To answer the question: Does this (article of clothing) make me look fat/ugly/frumpy/etc? You simply say: The color/cut/pattern/fit (whichever applies) is not very flattering, or may not take advantage of your best features. This has served me well in my 22 years of marriage. Be honest but diplomatic and with compliments about the fact she does have features to accentuate and flatter. She’s your beautiful woman, after all.
Married 36 years. I remind my wife life would be perfect if our now adult children didn’t cause us so much stress through the years. They are all hard working responsible adults who we love. I consider my wife my best friend and enjoy spending free time working on home projects, gardening, vacations, volunteering together in our church etc. We have a traditional marriage with defined roles. I am the primary provider, my wife keeps the home, cleans our cloths, cooks meals and I wash the dishes and do minor home and auto repairs. We grocery shop together and I do the finances but always text her our spread sheet budget updated weekly. I trust my wife 100% and never question purchases. She is a smart shopper.
5h00 made my marriage almost failing, coz am fighting for it as am writing. She wants spontaneous mutual interaction and we have thee kids and we both work.. And im trying to run a business as im an entrepreneur… So, people sometimes demand things thats almost impossible to deliver.. Am great with kids and I take her out sometimes, but the problems is that money is tight for the last 18 months and she got promoted. Before that, my life was flying, travel, fancy hotels, fancy clothes, LV bags, Valentino shoes, and so on..
Little things, discuss little/ even big things. Don’t keep them to yourself and let them add up and explode ( like pressure cooker) married 40 yrs, I can not sleep if I don’t say it I have to get the msg across if something is bothering me. One of the most imp point say it don’t let it accumulate.🤓 and ofcourse trust, fidelity honesty comes first, if you keep talking about things all these become stronger and leave no room for suspicion or confusion that results in anger and chaos. You have to ignore somethings but if it really bothers you say it even if it results in an argument ( atleast things will get cleared) There is nothing more toxic than yrs of accumulated hurt, pain, suspicion and anger. Another v imp point is to be a selfless person in marriage and in life. Sadly not many people possess or give imp to this most beautiful attribute a person can have, no surprise that there are so many problems in the world.
Problems arise when people revert back to their default “unhealthy coping” settings of when they were single, because they are unwilling to maintain the standard of how the “presented” themselves during the “courting” phase; Therefore they are unwilling to maintain the “expected” standard they set as the “expectation” & then are stupefied as to WHY their partner is Not as “engaged” towards them; Because their partner is experiencing someone completely different! It is unfair to expect the same “loving” disposition from someone without making the same effort as when you 1st inspired & convinced them to give 1st love dynamic under specific parameters!
Our number one is to give preference to each other…submitting to each other works…on the other hand selfishness and self centredness is the number one enemy of a good marriage. As couples we choose how we roll….out of humility or pride, forgiveness or resentment, agreement or division….over to you 🙂
Also, your sign is important. I as a Pisces (water sign) should not marry a fire sign. I did (an Aires) and although it lasted 10 years it was a struggle. Now for the last 20 years I am happily married to an Aquarius. I keep everything light and funny. She keeps things logical and only does things for the good of all. I respect that.
It is quite interesting that the news anchors wanted to talk about outfits, both of them are wearing colours that are not in harmony with their natural colouring they both look like spring or summer or warm soft depending on which system that we’re following. The only types that can wear these contrasting colours are winters aka deeps, therefore dark cool hair, eyes and skin.
Your best bet is to begin with a common set of values. Thus when arguing you have fewer “deal breakers.” Then (and no one I’ve ever talked to even notices this) you make sure to eat your meals together. Commensality is important to establishing a strong base for family life. You have to be counter-cultural to do this, but the dividends are immense.
I feel the same way Rules4Life. He is a breath of fresh air. At my old age, I’m learning a lot. We learn from our parents mostly and it is only what they learned, good or bad. The area of disipline I find to be a tough one. So many opinions out there that I am so happy to learn from some one like Dr. Peterson cause I feel the truth when he speaks.
0:52 reminds me of my father who became ‘bored’ in the marriage, to the extent that he was having affairs. Everyday he would remind us that family life was boring and that he was not some family man.I want a new life, he would say. After the divorce, he married a girl a few years older than my sister (yes, his new bride was old enough to be his daughter), but at least he had no more kids. In the end my dad got divorced twice.
I once was trying on a new dress in a shop, and there was this other woman trying on a dress and she asked me my opinion of her dress, well I didn’t think it suited her so I told her so, this was after she had asked another lady and the other lady said it look good on her, well it was interesting because after that she only asked for my opinion.
My problem was (at 23 & 26 respectively) we had an artificial pressure upon us in the form of differing citizenships and a soon to expire travel visa. We had to either get married or break up. We chose to marry, quickly, and without any of the customary ceremony or ritual. It was the wrong choice. But when you’re young and in love, being separated is an intolerable option. Question is, at nearly 50 now, can I ever love again, or is that it?
Relationships deal with the coexistence…The marital relationship is the fundamental core of the test of society…if it can work society can find a way to coexist rather well…I believe that the health of a relationship is dependent upon each person’s ability and grit toward obtaining and maintaining their own emotional security and to participate in the journey of the other in that same pursuit. To the extent that each person is willing and capable of working toward that end, the relationship will be healthy and can prosper into the future infinitely. If either person in the relationship are not efficient at establishing and maintaining their own emotional security, they will not be able to understand well enough how to support the other in their unique pursuit of emotional security, and if either is disrespectful of the other’s pursuit or maintenance of emotional security, the relationship will be unhealthy and die at worst or be shallow at best. The moment that is not key to the relationship it will slowly fail over time. I know very very very little though, just been married for about 12 years. But as far as I can tell that’s a strong basis of success.
Bbahahahhahh! Does my butt look big?… JP, you are, and will always be, one of my favorite people. We are raising our kids to be honest, even painfully so, but still trying to teach tackfullnes. They already have, their little friends telling them, thank you for your honesty. It will be so, impairative for their futures.
Unfortunately, a good marriage requires two people who complement each other, and how to find someone who complements you is not easy to learn so there is some luck involved in the process. That does not mean that there are not ways to improve your chances before picking your spouse or after picking your spouse but there is not “one fits all” advise that will always work. And if two people’s personalities do not match enough, the best thing is to do is to separate and try again before having children. I have been married for almost 30 years so I have some experience, and if I were to give some advice, it would be to learn your partners weaknesses as soon as possible, to see if that is something that you can live with, because if you cannot live with that weakness then your relationship is not going to last.
That’s funny. My GF asks me all the time if an outfit looks good. I always tell her the truth. Regardless if it doesn’t look good or not. She didn’t like it at first but she knows without a doubt when I say she looks good, which I do a lot, that I truly think she looks good and she NEVER second guesses that now. I will also tell her what an outfit is good for. For example we might be going out to eat and she will put something on and I’ll say well it’s not flattering however that would make a very good respectable work outfit. I can tell she takes my advise too because then I’ll see her wearing those outfits during the work week but not so much on weekends.
A relationship described in a nutshell! “I’m busy.” He says the busier you are the more time you have to make for each other. “I want someone that goes perfectly well with me.” He says you need someone different from you, someone that expresses their opinion, there has to be a bit of tension…It’s a constant negotiation. Sounds very different to what many want these days: A quite submissive wife who’ll do all the men’s bidding and just goes along with whatever he says and you constantly have to say “Yes!” If we all followed this, they’d be less brake up’s, separation and divorce.
I understand the need for intimacy, but right now I’m pregnant with baby #4, and the constant nausea (it’s always really tough on me) coupled with fatigue makes me feel awful… not interested in sex at all. It’s tough for both of us. I feel tremendously guilty, and he, of course, just wants that closeness. If anyone has any practical advice on this (especially if it comes from experience), that would be great.
Hey Jordan Peterson!, why do you want chaos or make things complicated in your relationship? What’s wrong with getting along with your wife/Husband (spouse)? The whole world is the damn chaos!, complicated, difficult (tackle that or at least try to handle it somewhat), again why do you want that in your relationship? If it’s outside your front door!!