In a passive-aggressive marriage, it is essential to be assertive in order to maintain healthy communication and avoid appearing aggressive. To be more assertive, one should understand their feelings, understand the meaning of assertiveness, acknowledge their feelings, examine the truth, define their wants, and know what to expect.
To become more assertive, one should reflect on their sense of self, take responsibility for naming their needs, desires, and boundaries, and use good judgment and discretion. Start small and narrow, starting with one small situation to build up gradually over time. Assertiveness boosts self-confidence and attracts respect from others.
To improve assertiveness in a relationship, one should examine the problem, understand the meaning of assertiveness, acknowledge their feelings, examine the truth, define their wants, and know what to expect. Focus on progress, celebrate small wins, and take responsibility for their actions. By doing so, one can foster healthy communication and improve their relationship with their partner.
📹 What is Healthy Assertiveness in a Relationship | Dr. David Hawkins
In healthy relationships, couples genuinely acknowledge their partner’s wants, thoughts, and feelings. And this is only possible …
Can you train yourself to be more assertive?
Acting only in your own interest is aggressive. You can learn to be more assertive by identifying your needs, expressing them positively, and learning to say no.
What’s difficult about being assertive as a woman?
Women are afraid that speaking up will make them seem difficult or unlikeable. Women are taught to be nice and accommodating, which makes them put others first to avoid being seen as unkind or rude.
Why is it so hard for me to be assertive?
You get too emotional. When we’re feeling strong emotions, we can act out. We need to be assertive in emotionally charged situations. Our bodies make it hard to think clearly when we’re angry. Only discuss difficult topics when you’re calm and confident. If you start to get emotional, take a break and breathe. Stay on topic and don’t make things personal. Address difficult topics early. Passive behavior can lead to aggression. We looked at five reasons people struggle to be assertive and some solutions. Practice assertiveness to get along with others and stand up for yourself. Our practitioners can help you become more assertive.
How to become more assertive as a woman?
Be more assertive at work. To succeed at work, women must be comfortable promoting themselves and asking for what they want. … Speak up. … Set boundaries. … Embrace conflict. … Build your brand. Some think women must be aggressive to be assertive at work. That’s not true. Assertiveness and aggression are different. Aggression is negative and puts others down. Assertiveness is positive and productive. When you assert your value, you respect yourself and others.
Women face a “double bind” or penalty for assertiveness, as described in a study in Organization Science. The research showed that women often face backlash when they can’t be both warm and competent in the boardroom. This is called the double bind. Women have to adapt to gendered expectations, which might explain why women are more likely to be burned out than men. You don’t have to be a bulldozer to get ahead. Here are five ways women can be more assertive at work.
How to be less aggressive as a woman?
Think about how they feel. Empathy and understanding are key to assertive communication. … Say things in a more considerate way. … Use “I” statements. … Don’t interrupt when someone is talking. … Stay calm. Communication is important in all aspects of life. Some people are more aggressive when they communicate, which can have negative consequences.
What is assertive communication? It’s expressing yourself clearly while respecting others. It’s not making demands of others; it’s standing up for yourself without upsetting others. Aggressive communication is telling rather than asking; being critical and disrespectful of others; guilt-tripping; disregarding others’ needs and wants; invading others’ personal space without permission; yelling or raising your voice to get your point across; intimidating others; being physically, forcefully, and hostile.
What words should you avoid when being assertive?
Be assertive without being aggressive. Avoid these four phrases that make you sound weak or timid: “I’m sorry to ask this…” I can do that. … You need to… … You always… (or you never…) We all have skills, opinions, and ideas we’re confident about. How you communicate affects how others feel.
Are you a doormat? Are you too aggressive and make enemies? Or are you passive-aggressive and irritate others? None of these make you sound confident. To be assertive without being aggressive, avoid these four phrases that make you sound weak or timid:
What are the three C’s of assertive communication?
Confident, clear, controlled. Confident, clear, controlled. Confident: You believe you can handle the situation and are calm. Clear: The message is easy to understand. Controlled: You keep an eye on the other person and adjust yourself if needed.
What are the 3 C’s of assertive communication?
Confident, clear, controlled. Confident, clear, controlled. Confident: You believe you can handle the situation and are calm. Clear: The message is easy to understand. Controlled: You keep an eye on the other person and adjust yourself if needed.
How to be assertive but not rude?
These tips help you be assertive without being aggressive. Be clear. Make eye contact. … stay positive. Do your research. Take a step back. Don’t accuse. Stay calm. … set boundaries. Be assertive but not too assertive to communicate clearly. Some people don’t speak up, while others interrupt and talk over people. If you lack assertiveness, you tend to agree with people, even if they’re wrong. If you’re very assertive, you focus on your own feelings. It’s not easy to find the right balance between being assertive and not being too assertive. These tips will help you become more assertive without being aggressive.
What are 5 assertive behaviors?
10 Examples of Assertive Behavior That Will Bring You Success in the Workplace Action Assertive Behavior Voice/Speech Firm, Warm, Well-paced, Non-accusatory Face/Eyes Comfortable, Direct Eye Contact, Firm but Kind Expression, Appropriate Smiling Body Language Relaxed, Upright, Open, Calm Hand Gestures, Respect for Personal Space.
Assertive Behavior is key when it comes to pursuing your goals and meeting objectives in the workplace. It’s a healthy way to express yourself and can boost your career. It can earn you respect and make you look confident and able to set clear professional boundaries. It’s also useful for managers and leaders, helping them deal with difficult employees. Being assertive helps you behave professionally and perform better at work. If you’ve been too quick to agree with others, used intimidation to get them to agree with you, or avoided conflict but expressed your annoyance with sarcasm, there are ways to improve your communication skills at work.
What causes lack of assertiveness?
Being punished often, not valuing positive feedback, stressful life events, anxiety, low confidence, and poor self-esteem, learned behavior, unhealthy relationships in which your voice is “silenced” or your needs and opinions are ignored, feeling “frozen by anxiety” and unable to respond, not knowing or neglecting your rights, and patterns of irrational thoughts. Can people suffering from a lack of assertiveness improve this? You can improve your communication skills by working on assertiveness. You don’t have to change who you are, just learn new ways to communicate. Self-esteem boosters can also help you be more assertive. Try making small changes, like observing how you handle difficult conversations, analyzing how clearly you communicate, or using positive self-talk. Therapy can help you become more assertive. This is based on a series of techniques that help people express their feelings, believe in themselves, and think clearly.
How can I improve my assertiveness?
Learn to be more assertive. Assess your style. Do you speak up or stay quiet? Use “I” statements. I statements let others know what you’re thinking or feeling without being accusatory. … Practice saying no. Practice what you want to say. … Use body language. … Keep calm. … Start small. Being assertive is a key communication skill. Assertiveness helps you express yourself and stand up for your point of view. It helps you respect others’ rights and beliefs. Being assertive can also make you feel better and get others to respect you. This can help with stress. If you often take on too many responsibilities because you find it hard to say no, it can help you reduce stress. Some people are naturally assertive. If you’re not assertive, you can learn to be.
📹 How To Be More Assertive | 3 Tips For Men!
You’re probably thinking, “How can I be more assertive? I am coming off as either a nice guy or a shy guy or I’m always in the …
Didn’t know this was for marriage counseling, I was just exploring virtues and happen upon cooperation. More specifically the relationship between assertiveness and cooperation. Thanks for the food for thought! I wasn’t 100% sure where to start but comparing assertiveness to a balance of wants from each party is valuable. Like, interpersonal justice.
How to Be More Assertive: 1. Have positive confrontations – when something crosses your boundaries and principles, address it forcefully, with opinion, but with respect. 2. Say no. Don’t do what you don’t want to. Don’t agree with what you don’t agree with. Don’t say what you don’t mean 3. Be confident in knowing yourself. Hold yourself to a certain standard. Be comfortable in who you are and live according to it.
This is why I love listening to your articles. Not standing by either parties of this or that but standing by on what must be done for both parties to communicate and operate properly. Not yin/yang, feminine/masculine but both. I really love your articles. Very informative and intellectually uplifting. Sidenote: Whoever is your guy is one lucky man 😅 Truthfully speaking, it is hard to find people who aren’t bias to a cause that only serve a party. Man or women.
Thank you Apollonia. That’s really influencial. Being assertive demonstrates high value which makes a woman want to be a part of your life. By the way, i like how you balance your style Apollonia. It’s about colours. You know that you make me discover new things about you Apollonia. Allah bless you Apollonia.
I like these articles. Kind of refocuses my mind where it needs to be which are my goals. New person here so I haven’t seen all of them. I would like to see your if your an introvert article cause I’m definetely in person an introvert. On text, commenting, messaging I’m different cause I’m more open. Thanks Apollonia
Walking up to a girl takes courage for most men. Most men won’t approach women for a simple reason, shes gonna reject me. Well it’s always better to get rejected in the beginning rather than later on. Most women want a guy that is confident in what they want. Translation…women want men that know what they are doing. Even if she rejects you and say no in the beginning, it’s a Big Win for you men. You approached her and talked to her. Member one thing guys, not every girl wants you. You have got to work for it. Just like everything you worked hard for in life.
I grew up under a Narcissist tyrant mother. Its SO HARD for me to stand up for myself. I get SO afraid of upsetting people, losing relationships, being punished or retaliated for it. Thank you. I need a whole series on this. Having landlord-tenant issues. Repairs not being done, landlord ignoring noise complaints. I’m SO scared to address this.
Thank You very Much. I’m new to your website, Looking back I wish I would have found you sooner, but I believe I found you at the right time. I’m in a relationship of over one year as a bf,gf and its a long distance relationship she lives in New Zealand, we are going through a tough time right now, we are both believers in Jesus, Our faith levels are becoming increasingly an issue. I’m being patient and have taken a week so far of very limited contact, just some texting. No phones calls, yesterday was our first time texting for over one hour, in a loving way sharing my new standards, On the second one it hit a nerve with her, I stuck to by guns, by the time we said goodnight she stop pushing back. I just shared your Quote with her this morning while she sleeps, growth isn’t suppose to be comfortable…. I like that and that has given me more determination. Thank you.
Thanks Ms Ponti. This is an area that i need balance in. Because when i did speak up, i came across as too aggressive at times or not assertive enough. So this article was very helpful. I do have a question about how i felt like i had a great connection with a Lady on a date, but i struggle with shyness at times, I am busy shooting article’s of bands, and recording them, photography and work a 9-5, but i lacked confidence and didn’t keep eye contact. Afterwards i even admitted that she was my first date after a 12 year marriage, now divorced. Well, she didn’t show it then, but afterwards, she wished me well in my endeavors and that was it. Any suggestion?
I like the article. I am surrounded twig beautiful woman’s. I have a friend ( She is a lady). She got her business but she lack of confidence. Even she is the boss in her firm. I see this scenario with men too. Another coach was a talking for professional athlete which is girlfriend left him for a regular guy who have a normal job and even less money. So question here. How a guy with regular job and less money attract the girl of the man looking muscular and athletic? Why athlete man is insecure?
I like your articles Apollonia, you need to touch base on, what do women have to offer these days…. the modern woman, can’t cook, can’t clean, can’t manage their own finances, let alone the household, are mostly in debt, are more concerned about Botox and fillers and expect men to pay for this, so what is there? The modern woman is so demanding yet have nothing to off except for their vagina. The olden days a woman could do all these things mentioned and work and have a lot to offer. These days it’s nothing. I believe is that you should be the prize not the woman. Yes make an effort to approach a woman, but everything after that is based on equal reciprocation, none of this mind game business that women play. And when I mean equal I mean finances as well, men are not money machines to please a woman’s needs and wants. Thank you for your articles as always
Thanks you, for verifying what I already do! I would rather stand alone, in doing right, and living right. The Narrow Path Then have thousands of those fair weather friends, who when time get rough, only stand for going along with the majority, a.k.a. the mob, just to get along to go along, taking the wide path, that destroys your character!
1 You have positive confrontations When something does not go for the liking of your values, your boundaries or your values in any relationships you speak your opinion in a respectful without judging anybody else but by coming across forceful and opinionated. You’re not telling they’re wrong and you’re right. You’re telling them why it doesn’t go for your liking and standing firm. 2 You say No You won’t devalue yourself and submiss yourself to doing something the other person wants you to do but you don’t feel it right. 3 Confidence in Knowing Who You’re Confidence doesn’t mean I’m the best guy here rather it means you hold yourself to a certain standards or certain respect. You put your passions, you put your goals first in order to know what it is you want in life, you’ve a clear conscious decision and goals of what that looks like and you’re determined to work towards that every single day.
I guess men sometimes are frightened to be assertive, stand their ground on important issues, values and beliefs when they are in a one sided relationship with a woman . They (and I’ve been in this position) are reluctant to say stuff that will annoy their partner for fear they will be marginalized or at worst, dumped. So we suck up the nonsense and slowly lose our dignity. We don’t realise women will not respect weakness. I’ve learnt to speak my truth quietly and clearly using light instead of heat. If the woman doesn’t appreciate ones truth then so be it. Not worth any more investment.