To affair-proof your marriage, it is essential to understand the different types of affairs, such as cheating and infidelity. To avoid these, it is crucial to avoid temptation, have meaningful conversations with your spouse, and have a sense of honor and duty. It is also important to be aware of the 9s, which are often followed by life-changing behaviors such as starting an affair.
To build an affair-proof marriage, it is essential to rate each need based on its importance and rank them in order of importance. Have your partner rate each need and discuss the needs that are not being met and brainstorm ways to meet those needs inside your relationship.
Affairs can take two common forms: emotional and sexual. To get down to the truth, it is essential to ask your spouse directly. Instead of becoming a detective and snooping through their phone, consider talking about it. This will help you understand your partner’s capabilities and beliefs and help you build a stronger foundation for your marriage.
📹 UNLOCKED Full Episode: “Affair-Proof Your Marriage ” | The Oprah Winfrey Show | OWN
M. Gary Neumanis back after a fallout show from Why Men Cheat. Watch more full episodes of “The Oprah Winfrey Show”: …
Is he cheating or am I paranoid?
If your partner is cheating, he might suddenly be secretive about his schedule and interactions with people outside of the relationship. If your partner is cheating, they might be secretive about their phone or emails.
Will a cheater change after marriage?
Can a cheater change? Yes? It depends. Your partner has to experience a big change to change. She won’t change just because she hurt you. She needs to believe she’ll lose you if she doesn’t fix things. Her fear of losing you should be strong enough to make her feel like she’s in an emotional crisis. I know that sounds wrong, but it’s true. If she isn’t scared, she probably won’t change. If she does, the change won’t last. You say she’s in another relationship. If she’s in another relationship, her feelings for that person might make her less afraid of losing you. She might tell you what you want to hear and go back to her old ways. Can you forgive a cheater? That depends on who you ask. In my marriage, I would forgive my wife for a one-off or short-lived affair. She would walk away and not look back. We agree that if either of us had another relationship, we would probably view it as an unforgivable betrayal.
Does the guilt of cheating ever go away?
8. Be committed, but don’t make promises you can’t keep. I cheated and feel guilty! Does cheating ever feel better? Yes. You can get over the pain and guilt. But learning to stop feeling guilty about cheating won’t be easy. Sometimes you just want to forget what you’ve done. If your partner gives you another chance, you can learn how to cope with cheating. Start the change and stick with it. Don’t make too many promises. Your spouse or partner won’t believe you.
How to catch a narcissist cheating?
Every relationship is different, but these seven signs of narcissistic cheating are common: lying. … They’re defensive. … No reassurance. … Ask for space. … Unusual online behavior. … More spending. … Risky sex. What is a narcissist? Why do narcissists cheat?Narcissistic Cheating Patterns Coping with a Cheating Narcissist Partner When to Seek Help Conclusion Additional Resources Infographics Lydia has over 16 years of experience and specializes in mood disorders, anxiety, and more. She offers therapy to help clients on their journey to well-being. Heidi Moawad, MD, is a neurologist with 20 years of experience. She treats mental health disorders, behavioral health issues, neurological disease, migraines, pain, stroke, cognitive impairment, multiple sclerosis, and more.
How to fix marriage after cheating?
Don’t decide right away if you want to save your marriage. Before ending a marriage, take time to heal and understand what caused the affair. Be accountable. If you cheated, take responsibility. … See a marriage counselor. Get help from different sources. … Restore trust. Infidelity is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage. If both spouses are committed to healing the relationship, many marriages survive. Sometimes, they become stronger and more intimate. What is infidelity? Infidelity isn’t a single thing. What’s considered infidelity can differ between couples and spouses. Is an emotional connection without sex considered infidelity? What about online relationships or sexual activity? Each couple must decide what infidelity means in their marriage. Why do affairs happen? Infidelity can happen in any marriage. This includes happy and unhappy marriages. Infidelity can happen for many reasons.
What evidence is needed to prove cheating?
Proving adultery in a divorce case. To prove adultery, you need evidence. To prove adultery, you need more than hurt feelings. You must provide proof that your spouse cheated. Evidence could be a photo of your spouse and their partner or an admission by your spouse. Think carefully before getting a divorce because of adultery. You can get a divorce without proving fault. Proving your spouse had an affair might feel good, but it could cost you a lot. Fault-based divorces take longer and cost more. People often hire private investigators to gather evidence. You might want a divorce because it could affect the money you get. After a divorce, people must divide their property and settle alimony and child support. If you can prove adultery, you might get more alimony, property, and child support.
What is the difference between infidelity and adultery?
What’s the difference between infidelity and adultery? Infidelity is being unfaithful to a spouse or partner. Adultery is having sex with someone other than your spouse. It is illegal in some places and can lead to divorce. Take some time to think. People often feel shocked, angry, and sad when they find out their spouse has been unfaithful. It takes time and effort to work through these emotions. Give yourself space to collect your thoughts and feelings. Practice what you’ll say so you come across as assertive, not aggressive. Rushing into things will lead to bad decisions. Practice controlling your emotions with tools like mindfulness, self-control, and deep breathing.
Get away. The affair must end. To end an affair, you have to stop seeing the other person. The spouse in the affair should be open and honest and tell the other that they still love their spouse. It can be hard to break up with someone you’re in love with because they fulfill some need or desire. They must be told it’s over. There can be no discussion. If you don’t separate, you can’t recover your marriage.
How to get proof your spouse is cheating?
Know your feelings. You know yourself better than anyone else, but if you’re too busy to know your feelings, you’re missing out. You’re special and deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve respect. If you think your partner is cheating, identify your feelings. Anger is usually the first sign. There are deeper feelings behind it. Try to identify these feelings. Journaling helps you vent and identify feelings. Also, draw or paint how you feel. Talk to your spouse about your feelings and concerns. Tell your partner how their behavior affects you. Speak calmly. An angry tone will make them defensive and they won’t listen. Talk about your feelings calmly. Do this for yourself. Stand up for yourself and address their behavior. Watch their reaction. If your spouse is cheating on you, they may deny it, blame you, or get angry. Watch for these behaviors: Is he/she trying to control you, look down on you, or are they sorry? Provide evidence. Photos, sexting, credit card charges, hidden email accounts, or dating apps on their phone can prove the affair. Show them the evidence. Your partner may deny cheating until you show them the evidence. If you can access your husband or wife’s phone or social media, you may find evidence of cheating. Demand honesty. After catching your spouse cheating, ask them to be honest with you. If this is a constant thing, you may need to see a therapist. Set boundaries for your self-care. Set boundaries to keep yourself safe and sane. If your partner has visited strip clubs or had sex with someone else, get tested for STDs. How Do You Catch a Cheating Spouse? It’s hard to catch a cheating spouse. Most people don’t know how to investigate a spouse. To catch a cheating spouse, start from the beginning and understand the problem. Catching a cheating spouse is hard because cheaters have an advantage. Most infidelity goes undetected and unproven because cheaters have an advantage.
How to find out if your spouse is cheating?
Eleven signs of cheating include: Changes in communication. Increased interest in appearance. More time spent away from home. Attitude changes. Lying. Avoidance. They accuse you of cheating. Indifference.
Infidelity can be hard on a relationship. Some people find out about their spouse or partner cheating, while others suspect it because of unusual behavior.
Changes in communication; Increased interest in appearance; More time spent away from home; Attitude changes; Lying; Avoidance; They accuse you of cheating; Indifference; Changes in your sex life; Money issues; Change in technology use. Some of these signs contradict each other. This list shows how different signs can be from one person to the next.
Is kissing adultery?
Adultery. Adultery is simple. Adultery is sex between a married person and someone else. State laws usually define adultery as vaginal intercourse. Two people seen kissing, groping, or having oral sex may not be considered adulterers in your state. Adultery is defined as: Sex between a married person and someone other than their spouse. What is proof of adultery? It can be hard to prove that two people had sex. The law doesn’t require someone to witness sexual intercourse to use adultery as grounds for a divorce. Instead, evidence can be presented that the offender and their partner had the chance and desire to have sex. Opportunity is shown when the two parties enter a private place together for a long enough time to have sex. Two people show they want to have sex when they act like they want to have sex. In most adultery cases, this evidence is in the form of testimony by a third party who saw the couple kissing. Evidence of disposition can also be shown by emails, texts, or cards that show the couple is in love. If it was obtained illegally, it would not be allowed in court.
Affairs. People who confess to having affairs often don’t end them. The paramour may not want to end the relationship, so they pressure the offender to stay together. If you’re trying to reconcile with your spouse after they’ve had an affair, be careful. If a spouse won’t stop communicating with their paramour, it means they’re not willing to end the affair and earn their spouse’s trust. Many people we work with are in this situation. We can tell our client what their spouse is doing so they don’t get taken advantage of again.
Where do cheaters hide evidence?
They have secret phones where they talk. On the phone. They delete and install apps, hide apps within other apps, and log in and out of secret social media accounts. There are apps that look like calculators that are actually for cheating.
Is it cheating if someone else kisses you?
Is kissing someone else cheating? Kissing someone else is cheating if it goes against the rules of your relationship. Some see a stolen kiss as a minor thing, while others see it as a major betrayal. The context, emotions, and intentions affect how a relationship is affected. Each couple must decide and talk about their rules and expectations. The answer to this question can be different for everyone. Is kissing someone else cheating when you’re married? Marriage is about love, trust, and fidelity. Kissing someone else while married is a violation of vows and a betrayal of trust. But just like in any other relationship, what a kiss means depends on the context, feelings, and intentions. Communication and understanding are important in how a kiss affects a marriage. Is drunk kissing cheating? Drinking can make it harder to know if kissing is cheating. When drunk, we might do things we wouldn’t normally do. Drunk kissing can still be a breach of trust and a violation of relationship boundaries, but it depends on the circumstances. Talk to your partner, think about why you did it, and make a plan to rebuild trust.
📹 Affair-Proof Relationships?
Is there a way to affair-proof your relationship? “The Real” ladies chat about ways to minimize their risk of infidelity, in this Girl Chat …
I honestly miss Tamar because she was real (a little loud sometimes and a little extra but I’m a black South African 80% of my family and friends are like her) I’ve been cheated on and I have never heard a man say “You weren’t respectful/nice enough” it’s always “I didn’t think you would find out” or “It just happened” it was never about me
I’m gonna have to disagree with Adrienne about catering to your man when she said “if you don’t do it, someone else will” (using it as incentive to stop your man from cheating), I feel that if my man likes something that is out of my comfort zone to keep him interested, then I’m gonna have to say ‘dueces’ and keep it moving. I’m not about to forfeit my happiness to make others feel happy. Cause as Loni and Tamar said, if he’s gonna cheat, he’s gonna cheat😕
I get what Tamar was saying. We tend to blame the one cheated on instead of the cheater for causing the person to stray. Especially, if we are the ones cheated on, usually our first instinct is to think “What did I do wrong”. But we shouldn’t! If someone wants to cheat, they will. It has nothing to do with you and what you are doing or not doing, its on them. The problem is with the cheater, not with the person being cheated on. If you aren’t happy in a relationship then bounce. why cheat.
Tamar was just not getting it! I agree with what Jeannie was saying. You have to respect your bf/husband. You can’t be calling him names and cussing him out all the time. He going to eventually hate you and go cheat with the next woman that makes him feel good and like a man. Now I agree that if a man want’s to cheat he going do it regardless of what you do to try to keep him. However, you not suppose to help him by making the decision to cheat by trying him like trash.
I heard a story of a woman who learned in the worst way. She was marries for fifteen years, with children. She wasn’t feeling well, went to the hospital and she had HIV. Her husband had it for five years and didn’t tell her because he made the mistake of cheating. Cheating has consequences, and sadly, your only safe from it if both parties don’t want to cheat.
I don’t know why ppl are criticizing Tamar when her opinion is absolutely rt. If a man wants to cheat he will cheat anyways. You are just becoming his maid by doing everything he wants just to “please” him. A relationship should be mutual by pleasing and respecting each other and not taking advantage of a person or kissing his ass just to keep him. Ppl should learn to love each other with loyalty and respect in order to have a successful relationship.
I 100% agree with Tamar no woman or man for that matter should be having to think about how to get their spouse to not cheat on them, that is not a normal thing, which is why you should know who you are marrying inside amd out cause that’s not something you should have to worry about and if its gonna happen its gonna happen there’s nothing you can do or should do about it.
Adrienne is the only one now that acknowledges and agrees with Jeannie and the sensible things she says. It’s like Tamar and Tamera feel some type of way about how wise she is. They hardly ever agree w. her when it comes to the topic of marriage. I mean she’s been married for 8 years, I would think she knows what she’s talking about.
The point is, you can only “keep” a man that wants to be “kept”. Bc as Loni said, he’s gonna do whatever he wanna do. He doesn’t care about the extra factors you bring in. Respect is a given in the relationship, if you don’t know how then find a man that can tolerate disrespect more than the usual. Most important, as tamera stated, a man that’s going to stray will stray. As Tamar said, if he wants to cheat on you then he will cheat on you. So basically, they will do what they want to do no matter what so just be careful when choosing your man and you’ll be okay.
I feel like what was left out of this conversation to really bring home Tamera and Jeannie’s points that a man will go where he’s respected and treated like a man is that an affair doesn’t start with sex. There’s stages before that. A man and a coworker don’t just wind up in a hotel room together there’s a period before that where the 2 realize they’re getting to close and if the man is happy, respected, and feels like a man in his relationship he’s more likely to shut it down then and not move forward and cross any more lines.
Listen people you can respect a man, upkeep your appearance, give him sex every night and he’ll still cheat. Like Loni and Tamar said “A Man Gonna DO What He Wants To Do.” We’ve all know someone who’s done all those things Adrienne and Jeannie said and still get cheated on because the man wanted to cheat. When it comes to cheating its not the victims fault but the suspect. Like they said in everything else never blame the victim. A cheaters gonna do what a cheater wanna do, just accept this and move on with your life. Please…
Kind of confused about everyone opposing Adrienne’s suggestion to not be mean. That’s wonderful advice! If you can get your point across without being mean, he might listen more, he might be receptive to it, and it’ll definitely make him want to stay. No one wants to be around a mean person. What works for my boyfriend and I is- we are ALWAYS communicating. Any concerns we have, things we want in the relationship, things we would rather not have in the relationship- it’s talked about. It allows us to always be in sync and therefore feel 100% fulfilled with each other. Communication sparks understandings and any changes that might need to happen for a successful relationship.
I think what Adrienne is trying to say here is not just to be nice, shes saying, in essence, dont be a SHREW. No one wants to be arouvd some shrill overbearing harpie who only cuts them down and is always argumentative, much less be in a marriage or other comitted relationship with them. Additionally, how about picking a man with character who is respectful of his relationship, partner, and himself enough to not need to cheat?There are men out there, for example, who believe in God’s Covenant enough to do the right thing in holy matrimony because they simply want to lead a Godly life for His glory and His alone. It can be done. I see it every day. If it doesn’t hapoen for you or those sround you, then examine the character and integrity of all involved.
I normally disagree with Tamar. But in this clip I wholeheartedly agree with her and her energy about this she is totally right if someone cheats on you it is obviously not your fault! It is their own insecurities and problems with their own self-worth! Now you doing certain things can make your relationship not last. Or cause a lot of fights or an happiness in your relationship. But cheating is a whole other issue.
It’s not anyone’s responsibility to make sure their partner doesn’t cheat on them! I think that’s the point that Loni and Tamar and Tamera were trying to make. However, it’s your responsibility in a relationship (especially a marriage) to make sure that you do not cheat on them! And I think that’s the point that Jeannie was making. So I agree with them, but Adrienne makes no sense to me. First she’s saying to treat him nicely all the time and he won’t cheat on you, and then she’s agreeing with everyone who says that a person will cheat if they want to cheat… okay A
What Jeannie said at the end was real. Communication is key! Let each other know how you feel, before doing the wrong thing. And never blame yourself for being cheated on!!!!!! Lets ask the question in the different direction, what do the men have to do, so that their partners don’t cheat on them? I’m sick of people always asking “well what could you have done to make him/her stay”. NAhh, if they cheated is because they don’t respect you…….!!!!!!
Society has taught us women to blame ourselves for men cheating on us. I was on the road a lot, I was saving myself for marriage. No. If a man really loves you, he’ll do wait for you and work with you. If he cheated, is just because it’s in his nature or he just wanted to. Don’t blame yourself for other people’s mistakes. That’s what I learned.
Have God at the center of your marriage. Love, respect, honor, submit, protect, provide for, has safe guards in place, forgive, admit your mistakes, date each other, have healthy boundaries. Do these and you will be divorce proof. If each person grows in their obedience to God the marriage will thrive. It is when people do what they think is best, without having a clue how that will affect the marriage, is how things get messed up. Selfishness is the root of many a problem…
I don’t think Adrianne is saying be happy and nice always (like that’s wrong to do) but you should have more happy days as a couple verses miserable disrespectful days everyone has a mood but to stay mad and angry at your spouse all the time yes a man/woman will cheat if they want to no matter what but some of Yall get too comfortable and like the saying say what you won’t do someone else will
I kind of understand why Tamar got fired. Don’t get me wrong… I’m really upset that she won’t be continuing because I am obsessed with her, but in this segment she disagreed with whoever said something opposing to what she’s thinking and she got all nasty and uninterested saying “chile” as if she’s an expert in life. Seriously? Say what you have to say then listen to the others & be respectful!
I’m with Loni- a man who wants to cheat will cheat regardless. You could be putting it on him good, making him gourmet meals, dressing up for him, loving up on him, supporting him, and so on, and he could still want to be with someone else. Some people are never satisfied. I remember a male friend of mine telling me he cheated on his then wife because she was catered to his every need…he wanted someone who’d tell him no. He got with a new woman who told him ‘no’ and this fool still wasn’t satisfied. I don’t think it’s fair for women or men to take on the burden of making sure their partner doesn’t cheat. You can do it at all and still get cheated on.
Love Adrienne! That’s basic stuff people forget! Learning how communicate with your partner and how they communicate is important. Then you won’t be mean to each other. The crazy thing is communication will come off as mean only if you let it by not learning each other, but when that LOVE TANK isn’t full and you’ll don’t know how to fill each other’s love tank someone even both may stray. I think just like people need coaches in sports they need a marriage coach that is unbiased and helps the couples focus on each other.
People cheat for different reasons and you can’t control what they do. Each person is responsible & accountable for their actions. Cheaters have to take accountability for cheating and the partner depending on the situation & reason have to take accountability for their behavior that may have contributed to their spouse cheating. Whether you want to accept it or not your actions, the way you treat your mate and the way you carry out your role as a spouse has the ability to leave your spouse feeling empty, disrespected, unloved, unsatisfied and vulnerable to temptations. Failures in relationships are not usually one sided. Two people can make a marriage and often it’s both people that break a marriage.
I love perusal these episodes with ALL ORIGINAL members on the show. I just thought to weigh in because this topic spoke to me. I agree with what Loni, Tamera & Tamar said. Loni said that “Nobody will ever know the right answer.” I agree because it’s the truth. As women, we will NEVER completely understand a “man’s ” motive when it comes to cheating and we will never really see eye to eye when it comes to situations like this. As the woman in the relationship, it’s our job to check in on and with our men too because they have feelings too. We can’t be selfish and ignore the man’s needs and desires. I’m going right over to what Tamar said. It doesn’t matter what you do or buy. If the man wants to cheat. They will. There’s nothing you can do to stop or change it. That’s straight Facts. You cannot control the outcome of what’s going to happen. In case it does happen…. forgiveness is the first step if you want to continue being with that person dependent on the situation or circumstances. Time to Process it… meaning space may be necessary so that you can fully forgive the mistake and forget it . And more steps after to get back on the right track. It just depends on the issue and situation… Treat your man like a King and he will worship the ground you walk on. Just my opinion. Let him be whoever he wants to be. Don’t try to control him or nag too much because that’s the first straw in leading them astray.
WOW Jeannie comes through again. She speaks the truth!! My would say that same thing. RESPECT and HONOR the man you’re going to be with. If you’re in a marriage let him be the man, function as one, but don’t forget to love yourself and have your freedom as well. There needs to be an effort toward maintaining a balance.
The Bible literally says that a women should respect her husband and the husband should love and cherish his wife. This is exactly what should happen in the courting/dating phase. Ofc ppl are going to cheat regardless period point blank, but you should always show the man respect and he should always cherish and love you. if he cheats on you then he most likely chose to cheat on his own accord
Tamar was my favorite part of this show!!!!! I don’t like how they did her in regards to the show.. However I think it’s funny that Jeannie Mai made that comment I do agree that there’s truth to what both Jeannie and tamar are saying there’s truths in what all of them said but Jeannie Mai, in particular her then husband now ex husband ….did cheat on her so that’s kind of an interesting perspective.
Jeanie and Adrienne are absolutely right! If you’re unapologetically mean and disrespectful and you beat a man down he’s liable to draw closer to someone that gives him the attention you’re not giving and the same goes for a woman, if she’s not getting the affection and attention that she needs at home she’s liable to stray. I’m not saying it’s right, but it happens. And it can be avoided!!! Not all men want to go out and cheat, some stray because of home situations and it happens with women as well. Not right, but true!!!
What i’d like to say, from what i’ve witnessed, Jeannie has been able to preserve a marriage without children and that speaks volumes to me. She has nothing else to offer her husband but herself and granted that may have caused issues (as she’s mentioned before), that is in deed a very special kind of love. She gives very insightful marriage advice. I think she is happiest of the married women on that panel and is content with herself. As for Tamera and Tamar, they dont trigger my intellect.
Respect goes a long way with men. A woman who is kind, slow to anger, and respectful is much less likely to get cheated on than a woman who calls a man out his name and yells at him every chance she gets. In either situation a man still may cheat, but that is not an excuse to disrespect him, because then you are asking for it.
Lord have mercy Jeanie is the perfect woman what she said spoke to my spirit!!!! Real talk shut tamar ass And Adrienne UP… She said listen you can love yourself but when your with someone you love that person as you would love your self so that y’all can work through issues… I’m old school in that regard we live in a society so ready for that easy way out you can take it but before you know it you got 3 marriages under your built… Don’t be selfish !!! Yassss
The BIGGEST reason he cheats: He is tired of you. Think about it. You get tired of being around your family ALL THE TIME. You can’t wait to move out of your parents houses and only see them once a week! Same with friends, you make a girls night once or twice a week! I think you should only see you man a few times a week instead of everyday 24/7. You are both excited too see each other, both craving sex and always have things to talk about whenever you meet up!
😢😩😫😖 I’m gonna miss Tamar’s common sense, straight to the point advice and opinion. In addition to her animated facial expressions. Yes she’s loud, and im obsessed with it. She’s smart and she makes excellent points. And the shade is masterful 👍🏼 and hysterical 😂 also, And DUH love yourself. How can you expect respect and love if you don’t respect and love thy self? That was not the question. The question was how do you prevent cheating. There’s nothing you can do to prevent cheating. just move on, lick your wounds, but some ice cream and try not to pick a dude like the one that cheated on you next time, period.
It’s about trust, morals, dignity, respect, love, faith, and self-control. If you want to have the best chance of “affair-proof” (ing) your marriage, start with someone who has those character assets. It at least offers the best chance of protection. Honestly speaking, there is NOTHING a spouse can do or not do to prevent a cheater from cheating. The question for those that think they can is: “How many hoops are you willing to jump through?”
I understand wanting to keep a man and grow and maintain a relationship. But not so he doesn’t cheat? So you don’t lose him and you can make the man you love happy. Plus, I will never understand how people think cheating is the answer before breaking up. Uh, ya Tamara you can blame that guy for cheating on you. When he found out you were saving yourself he should’ve said I’m sorry I don’t feel the same I can’t wait and therefore can’t be in this relationship. Instead he avoided confrontation and slept with someone else. That’s not okay. They asked “What can you do in a relationship to keep your man from cheating?” picking a man who is mature enough to talk about issues and them break up with you if he’s not feeling it way before cheating crosses his mind. But I agree with Tamar for once, if a man wants to cheat he will.
I think some people are just not ready and mature often for a real relationship which should be “forever”. But I also think that other times it’s about change as well. Some guy or girl might fall in love with you and you get together, but if you start to change yourself in that relationship, you automatically change the person he fell in love with, so I think that’s what they were trying to explain. Some guys/girls become for example very passive aggressive in a relationship or very jealous or controlling, which wasn’t the case when they were dating. Being like that, changing in a negative way, can open a door, which maybe wouldn’t be there if you would’ve stayed the same. For example; my best friend datet a girl that I knew very well before and I knew that she is manipulative and changes herself in front of guys, when she likes someone. At that time when they were dating, I didn’t know it was her that he’d been dating, just like 2 months later and like 3 months after that, they made it official and got together. Just in case that maybe she wasn’t like that anymore and changed, I decided not to tell him, because he was saying so much positive stuff about her. He said she was very caring, always wanting to know if he’s alright, always trying to make him feel good, basically making an effort and he really respected that about her and I found that great. Also, I found her very lovely every time we met, so I didn’t really see the need or maybe I just didn’t feel like it was my place to say something.
Trust me I know, when someone wants to cheat he/she will regardless of how he/she is being treated in a the relationship, because it’s a selfish act and once you want it you will do it and if you love the person enough and yourself enough you will stop, and come clean. Once you’ve come cleaned and really understand how bad it is then things may or may not work out, regardless telling the truth is needed. Men and women will cheat simply if they want to. Sadly. Cheating it’s a selfish act and no one is perfect. Also knowing what you can and cannot tolerate helps.
I’m 5 years late to this response but a woman can be very kind to a guy, very caring and totally crucified herself for him, but he’ll cheat on her for other reasons. My ex cheated on me because I was growing very successful. A lot more successful more than he was and he got extremely jealousy and insecure. The kinder I was to him, the more he thought I was only being boastful. So it’s an internal demon that cause cheating
Why don’t we stop putting this problem on ourself ? Like if he wants to cheat, they gonna cheat no matter what you do, no matter how good you are… It’s the same for women as it is for men! It’s important to keep the relationship alive but there are really stable and fun relationships in which people still cheat
Is Adrienne trying to justify her cheating boyfriend? Is she throwing shade to the ex-wife? I hope not, because gurl if you like them cheaters that doesn’t mean all men are like this. She even said “and with this attitude you gon be cheated on” I say gurl with this type of mentality you will always be the girlfriend.
It is not up to any woman or man to ensure that they are doing enough to keep their partner interested enough to not cheat. I can’t believe they said all that and they’re still talking about being “strong, independent women”. If someone is gonna cheat there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. Just find someone that you can trust, that’s it.
It’s funny how Tamar thought she had the upper hand in this answer to this with Tamara. Only one of them is still married and HER way didn’t keep her husband from straying. Yes men loved to be cherished and respected and shown love to. It’s not one sided. It’s beautiful when a woman expresses that. My sister buys her husband flowers and gifts for Valentine’s Day too ..his bday…their Anny…Christmas.
I’m glad that this conversation shifted from being “what can a woman do to prevent this” to “if they’re gonna cheat, they’re gonna cheat anyway, so love yourself, respect yourself, and if he doesn’t respect you, say BUH-BYE” That was what Tamar and Adrienne was leaning towards, then Jeannie brought in stuff about respecting the man… which brought it back to blaming the woman. While in some cases men cheat to escape an unhappy relationship, it is generally NOT the woman’s fault imo. He should either work it out with her through honest communication or break up if they aren’t right for each other, and the woman should love herself enough to end the relationship and be with someone who’s honest and willing to work it out when there is dissatisfaction in the relationship (which is the part of Jeannie’s advice that I agreed with… work it out together, through thick or thin. THAT’S what marriage and commitment is all about)
It’s 110% about WHO you marry. Find a man who is incapable of cheating morally and loves you so much that nothing you do or don’t do would impact that. My husband I without a doubt know would NEVER cheat. And I am also completely incapable of cheating. But we also believe in putting God in the center of our marriage and fighting for our marriage. Also, you can look as pretty as you want or be as nice as you can be but if your husband doesn’t feel SAFE with you and feel like he can confide in you for anything and everything he will find safety elsewhere. You have to be a safe place for your spouse, it’s not ALWAYS about passion. My husband is my best friend and I am his so we need each other to confide in.
I HATE how Loni acts so pretentious sometimes. She sometimes has this “I know so much more than you because I’m older vibe.” Just because you’re higher in age, doesn’t discredit what the others have to say. ALSO all of them are in relationships and she’s the only one single by choice. She can’t sit there an act like she knows “SO MUCH MORE” about relationships than the rest of the panel. 🙄
If a real man wants out, he will be courteous enough to leave. I’d rather be broken up with than stepped out on. Tamar and Loni hit the answer on the nose. It doesn’t matter how pretty you are, how nice you are, how respectful you are, if a man has it in him to cheat on you, he will. Sure, some people cheat because of the things the rest of the ladies were saying, but the things they were saying are just common decency. Getting comfortable and giving up on your appearance and not trying anymore is a recipe for anything to fail. The point is that there is no way to affair-proof your relationship because someone will cheat if they want.
I am not feeling what Jeannie’s saying, I treated my ex-boyfriend like a king, I always spoiled him, bought him everything, was always being sweet to him, did everything he liked in the bedroom, and at the end of the day, he cheated with some other girl who had zero interest in graduating from university and had a big butt. So yeah, a man’s gon do, what he wants to do, I agree with Tamar, Loni and Tamera.
I feel like what they are trying to get across is a man will stray without the appreciation we require as women being reciprocated back to them. Thank them for the chores that are done same as you appreciate being told thank you. Little things not changing who you are. Because he loves you for you if he married you there should be no reason for change in the first place hence why dating comes before marriage to know who that person is and want to build from there. Thank you does so much in a relationship it’s such a small thing that is monumental in a long term relationship.
Okay so Tamera asks Adrienne what a WOMAN can do to make sure her man doesn’t stray, and then Tamera and Tamar go off on Adrienne about her mentality being wrong and all that? The hell? SHE ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION, Tam and Tay be the ones changing the script to make Adrienne look ignorant. That’s just rude…
In the U.S. the culture is to blame the victim. The culture is to put the RESPONSIBILITY on the victim. Often times cheating is the symptom of a deeper psychological, emotional dysfunction. Cheating, and how to stop it, is the responsibility of the person who cheated. NOT the person who was cheated on.
How do you keep a man faithful? Ask a barber how he keeps his customer. 1. He’s consistent in what he offers. 2. What he offers doesn’t depend on the quality of customer. If he’s a good barber, he doesn’t need anyone to “make him want to be” a good barber. 3. He knows EXACTLY what his client wants because he pays attention and cares about their satisfaction. If they want something new, they listen and apply. 4. Barbers ALWAYS want to do their best work and put their best foot forward every time because of their own integrity. Also, you notice men will wait hours with a chewed up hairline for their barber. Why not go to another one, you ask? NOBODY CAN DO IT LIKE THEIR BARBER. It’s never a good idea to use another barber, because that other person doesn’t get it right. Now, ladies…soak up this game and APPLY, APPLY, APPLY!
I absolutely agree with Adrienne. I also agree with the other ladies. If a man WANTS to cheat, he WILL. But, as Adrienne is saying is, we as women should keep our men happy and satisfied. Just as they, us. Because, if and when we do not take care of home, and make sure it is happy, someone else will (from both ends): A.) Stroke our egos. B.) Be our motivation for why we do what we do. C.) Show us the sort of love & affection that we all, so genuinely crave (UNCONDITIONAL Love.) A.) One day, be so willing to accept us as we are, that, … they DO! Love You LADIES.😉 (Especially You, Adrienne, Loni, Tamara, Tamar and Jenni. 😊)
Ok I’m kinda getting tired of people saying “This is probably why Tamar got fired, because she’s always interrupting.” The Real is basically like The View in a sense where these ladies will share their thoughts and opinions in Girl Chat. Every single one of these ladies were hired based on how different they are personality wise and how different their views are, which makes up a good Girl Chat right? Ok… I AM PRETTY SURE if Tamar was fired because of how “extra” she is, that’s a load of bs, because she was HIRED for that very reason, that being her PERSONALITY. Why in the hell would they fire her knowing that’s how she is, and then YOU GUYS make up these imaginary feuds between Tamar and Jeannie as if you can read her mind. Get off it already. I really don’t want to type too much because I have so much to say, but I just wanna end this off by saying that people need to stop being ignorant and jumping to conclusions about why this girl was even fired.