Marriage can provide numerous benefits, including well-being, life satisfaction, and stress management. However, disagreements can arise, and communication is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. To address these issues, it is essential to communicate openly, avoid blaming your partner, and create an atmosphere of trust. Expressing emotions, taking care of oneself physically, and seeking support from others can help in recovery.
Preventing anger and maintaining boundaries is crucial for a healthy relationship. Step-parents should respect biological parent boundaries regarding decisions and parenting responsibilities, and communication is key. Professional help is also essential for dealing with separation.
After having children, couples may face issues such as conflicts over parenting, difficulty spending time together, fatigue, lack of sleep, financial challenges, intimacy issues, lack of support, and stress. To address common marriage problems, it is essential to communicate openly, focus on one issue at a time, and try to understand each other’s perspectives.
To solve marriage problems, open and honest communication, seeking professional help, prioritizing quality time together, and working on compromise are essential. Mutual respect for each other, respecting each other’s opinions and decisions, and never bringing up past arguments and disagreements are also essential. Commitment to the relationship, forgiveness, honor and respect, regular communication, sharing financial expectations, and giving each other respect are also essential.
Reviving a marriage involves pursuing your spouse like a first date, taking social media with a grain of salt, and allowing yourself to feel true love.
📹 How to Cope with Health Issues in Marriage – #CouplesTalk
How to Cope with Health Issues in Marriage – #CouplesTalk // Many families are experiencing health challenges and it’s …
What is the walkaway wife syndrome?
Sometimes, one spouse leaves the other suddenly. The other spouse is shocked. This is called “walkaway wife syndrome.” This term is used for when a spouse, often the wife, feels alone, neglected, and resentful in a bad marriage and decides to leave. What is walkaway wife syndrome? The term “walkaway wife syndrome” suggests a sudden decision, but it often comes after a long period of conflict. The divorce takes years to happen. After trying to get her spouse to deal with their relationship issues, the wife finally decides it’s pointless. She has thought about her options and is ready to leave the marriage.
How to survive in an unhappy marriage?
Show up for your partner. … Keep your friendship strong. … Check in with your partner daily. Don’t assume anything about your partner. … Own up to your part in the argument. … Be open to talking. … Soothe yourself. This guest blog was written by Tina Villis in 2019. It has been updated with more recent information. I took an Uber to meet my spouse for dinner. After some small talk, the driver asked me what I do. “I’m a counselor,” I said. He told me how unhappy his spouse makes him and how he can’t leave his unhappy marriage. He looked at me in the mirror and said, “I have to deal with this.” “Well,” I said. “You told me all your spouse’s faults.” How have you hurt the relationship? He laughed nervously, and we drove in silence.
What is the #1 cause of divorce?
Why people are getting divorced in the United States. 42. A recent survey found that lack of commitment is the main reason for divorce. Here are the reasons and their percentages:
- Lack of commitment 73%
- Argue too much 56%
- Infidelity 55%
- Married too young 46%
- Unrealistic expectations 45%
- Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
- Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
- Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%
(Respondents often cited more than one reason, so the percentages add up to more than 100 percent)
What Makes People More or Less Likely to Divorce? Your age. 43. 48% of those who marry before 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared to 25% of those who marry after 25.
Why do marriages become unhappy?
Lacking trust, blaming each other, and comparing. Unhappy and unhealthy marriages can be caused by many things. Lack of trust is a big problem. If there’s been infidelity, it’s hard to trust each other.
3 Factors That Lead to Relationship Dissatisfaction. Why do some marriages succeed while others fail? People often ask me about this because a lot of people have been through a divorce or are likely to in the future. I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak to the issues I see in my therapy office. I work with couples and individuals, and many of them are stressed about their relationships. We are complex individuals, so when we add another person to the mix, the complexity doubles. This is why couples sometimes say they don’t understand each other or that they’re too different for a relationship. Two people can have different backgrounds, personalities, and still be happy in marriage. What causes unhealthy and unhappy marriages?
What is a silent divorce?
What is a silent divorce? A silent divorce is a gradual separation between couples. Intimacy, love, and connection erode, leaving couples feeling more like roommates than romantic partners. A silent divorce is not official or legal. It happens without a formal declaration. A legal divorce involves court proceedings, lawyers, and dividing property. A silent divorce is about emotional disconnection, indifference, and a lack of shared experiences. The couple may still live together and have kids, but they don’t love each other anymore.
Signs of a Silent Divorce. A silent divorce isn’t discussed. But there are signs you might be going through a silent divorce. We list these signs below.
What are the hardest years of marriage?
Divorce lawyers, psychologists, and researchers have rated the risk of divorce based on how long couples have been married. Low risk.
Home People also ask: What are the hardest years of marriage?
Years 1–2: Very risky; Years 3–4: Mild risk; Years 5–8: Very risky; Years 9–15: Low risk; Years 15 and over: Low to Mild Risk; in 2019, 2,015,603 marriages happened and 746,971 divorces were granted in America. That means about a 37% divorce rate. The average American marriage lasts about eight years.
Who is usually happier after divorce?
Women are more likely than men to ask for a divorce in heterosexual relationships. Are women happier after getting divorced? Leaving a long-term partner is hard. But most women do feel happier after a divorce. Being single is better than being married to the wrong person. Why do so many women find happiness after getting divorced, even though living alone can be hard? Many women use this chance to focus on themselves. It can start a new chapter. Here are a few things women do after getting divorced to be happy and stable again. Women often have strong support systems. They have close female friends they can turn to when they need help. Divorced women might also turn to their parents, siblings, and extended family. Also, women are less likely to be judged if they see a therapist. Many women see therapists after a divorce. Therapy can help you process your emotions after a divorce and start rebuilding your life.
How to cope with a struggling marriage?
John Gottman: Complain without blaming. … Fix conflicts. … Focus on the problem. … Show physical affection. … Show love and respect. … Spend time with your partner every day. … Be honest about your relationship. … Don’t let wounds fester. Seth and Kayla, both in their late forties and married for fifteen years, are thinking about getting divorced. “I’m done with this marriage,” says Kayla. “I feel unloved and rejected by Seth. We don’t have an emotional connection and rarely have sex.” Seth says: “Kayla loves the kids more than me and she’s always fighting with me.” “She keeps threatening to leave, and that might be the best option.” Many couples like Seth and Kayla want quick solutions to save their marriage. This is a common problem, but the solutions are never easy.
At what year do most couples divorce?
Most divorces happen between years three and seven of marriage. Only 4% of couples divorce after 10 years.
Is it better to divorce or stay unhappily married?
A study showed that unhappy married people who divorced were no happier than unhappy married people who stayed married. Divorce didn’t usually make people feel better about themselves or more in control. Divorce is often the best option in a bad marriage. If you are thinking about divorce, you may wonder if you’ll be happier afterwards. There are several things to consider when asking if you will be happier after divorce.
Who makes the decision: If you decide to divorce, you probably think it will make you happier. You see a better future. If you didn’t see the divorce coming, you are probably shocked, angry, or dreading the future.
Gender differences: Research shows that men and women have different outcomes.
What year of marriage is the happiest?
Couples often have a baby in the third year of their marriage. Their relationship gets stronger. The third year of marriage is the happiest. Not all couples know that both partners need to work at family life. About 40% of European marriages last 10 years or less. A study by Slater and Gordon Lawyers found that the happiest and hardest years of marriage are different. We at WeatBrightSide want to point out the reasons for divorce. Some say love lasts only three years. Then the couple stops loving each other. After three years, people accept their partner’s weaknesses and feel more comfortable.
What is marriage burnout?
Conclusions: Marriage burnout is when a spouse feels emotionally and physically exhausted. This is caused by being too tired, not getting enough emotional support, and not meeting the emotional needs of their partner. Spouses with children are more likely to experience marriage burnout.
Keywords Marriage burnout: emotional exhaustion Maslach Burnout Inventory Years of marriage Background: Most people want to get married. It can benefit husbands and wives. Marriage offers social, psychological, physical, and intellectual benefits. Is marriage a complex thing in today’s society? People get married for love, sex, security, companionship, and emotional reasons. People also get married to avoid feeling lonely or to share interests.
📹 HOW TO COPE WITH AN AVOIDANT PARTNER:5 VULNERABILITIES
This video breaks down and explains the 5 main vulnerabilities for those with an Avoidant Attachment Style, and how to cope with …
Radical acceptance is tough. Very tough. But she described it very beautifully: That it’s liberating to be able to accept you’re in a place to watch miracles happen. They may be small and sometimes even easy to miss, yet just as wondrous. They’ve come a long way. I hope they’ll walk a long way from here. That is, if that’s what serves them. Because suffering at any cost is not what it’s meant to be. I hope they encounter a lot of grace, as they already did by things aligning for them within their very challenging situation. Lots of love their way. One thing is already quite certain, their children have amazing role models in their parents. (Let’s drop the wuss part, though, 😂 People are allowed to be fragile. It makes us more caring and perceptive)
I’d love to see a article about radical acceptance! My husband and I have come to terms with my chronic health struggles and it was very freeing to accept what is and move on, but all of our parents are still in denial, try to tell us we’re not doing enough to fix it, or tell us we’ve lost hope so of course it won’t get better. It would be helpful if you shared some tools to help people learn to accept what is… if those tools even exist 😅 Really loved this article! Especially seeing other Christians accept what’s going on and it actually make their peace and faith stronger. So many people in my life don’t understand how it’s possible to accept what is AND have faith in a miracle at the same time.
Thank you for making this article. My husband has Berger’s disease and is in end stage renal failure so he is on dialysis three times a week. I have Fibromyalgia and an auto immune, we think it is atypical Rheumatoid arthritis. My heath problems probably started before I met my husband but I started noticing changes while I was pregnant but we assumed it was my pregnancy because the pain fit pregnancy issues then after I had my son when he was about 8mths old my husband found me curled up on our couch crying silently because I was in so much pain. He made me go to a doctor right away. Then 2 years ago on our son’s birthday he ended up in the ER for what we thought was either a staph infection or a blood clot in his leg. Turned he did have a staph infection but his kidneys had also stopped working. It was insanely scary and insanely difficult to navigate through but we’ve been doing the best we can.
We’ve been through some serious health issues as well. It can be so hard. Good on them for being there for each other and not letting it become an unresolvable problem. I’ve seen that happen. The Lord is amazing that way. Miracles happen. My husband could’ve died many times. It’s only through the grace of God that he hasn’t. I pray that they have a long, happy life together. Stay strong and trust in the Lord.
My first wife had the same reaction when my symptoms first started. Constantly telling me I have no idea what pain is since I haven’t had a baby. My back seizing and all the shots, all the traumatic treatments didn’t matter. It turned out it was because she could not accept that this was happening, her security, her future was going up in smoke. In the end she had to leave.
I am 53 yr old guy and was just ghosted after 5 yr relationship with a dismissive avoidant woman. I never understood why she was so cold and non warm of a person. I even expressed this a couple times. Add about the 3 1/2 yr mark the mask got dropped and everything changed. These people are not able to express themselves like an adult. They come off as cold, aloof and obtuse. I didnt know what a DA was until after but after learning about it, she hit every check mark. Sad part is i really loved this person and i was a good dude to her. Not overly needy. She was always talking about what her “needs and wants” but to this day she never clarified what they were. As i started to point stuff out, things got more and more distant. And then POOF! . Gone like a fart in the wind and by TEXT no less. Ive had breakups and dissapointments before but this one reaaaaallly hurt. No wonder her ex husband of 20 yrs cheated on her with multiple women. He was looking for something he wasnt getting at home.
I have been married to an avoidant for 43 years. I knew she was very “shy” when we met, but very beautiful and very sweet and nice (people pleaser). Intimacy….she would fall asleep every night at 8 pm, including our wedding night..should have gotten an annulment! Years of lack of intimacy except when she wanted kids, we had three, then life was completely about them, went years without sexual intimacy, dove into work and became highly successful, but still nothing. Later, years of therapy, thousands and thousands of $$ worth…determined she is an Adult Child of an Alcoholic…now she is a victim and has no time for anything with us…sabotages everything. I am 65 and finally leaving her as I can’t stand who I have become in all of this mess. Don’t ever stay for the children when you are miserable, as you all suffer!
People don’t ever realize the heavy weight that lodges itself onto the back of a fearful avoidant. Lots of people don’t realize it comes from childhood traumas that forced that person to build an impenetrable armor, that they never know is there. I had a stepfather that would lose his shit every time I cried or showed any type of vulnerable state as a child. Took me 39 years and almost losing an 11 year marriage to see that in myself. But if a FA isn’t ready to see those traumas for what they are, you will never be able to do it for them.
My wife is an avoidant and I am ultra anxious. What keeps us together is that we love each other and I do not tire of being super sweet to her. Our relationship is not easy but she appreciates kindness and treating her accordingly is not a chore for me because I love her so much. Love truly conquers all.
It’s difficult to be with an avoidant as they tend to magnify the negative and make it bigger than the positives.. it would be really helpful if you Kim were able to offer advice to the partners of these attachment styles especially those of us who are secure but being with an avoidant brings out our anxious side at times..
These people are too hard. Walk and find some one that is not going to destroy you. It’s all about their needs their avoidance not one thought about you have needs. We all have baggage somewhere but we all have a responsibility that it does consume us and destroy people around us. Do we let a person get away with it if they hit you ? No ! This emotional abuse from them is worse and needs be treated so rather than justified.
I dealt with this for five months. I gave a ton of patience and felt breadcrummed with my own needs most of the time. I was always the one to have the heart to hearts and always online in texts. She made promises at my request she never worked on fulfilling. Simple things like going on cute dates with me that I would take her on and pay for. So many assurances she would step out of her own way. By month five nothing was changing and every week there was another excuse. She told me her aunt died and I told her I’d be there if she needed comfort or anything. No response. Day six my dad goes to the hospital and we think he is about to die. I wanted to talk to her and be comforted by her but she was peaced out. Day seven, I hit block and blocked her from being able to message me. I hated feeding into her abandonment issues but I had to prioritize myself and I realized no healthy or mostly healthy person with intimacy should pursue or be involved with an avoidant. They need to go to therapy and deal with the roadblocks that prevent them from real connection. I couldn’t have given more over the months. I always had thoughtful gifts and the focus was always on her. Finally I had enough. I also had to step back and look at why I would accept so little from someone I was so deeply wanting to connect with. It’s very painful and sad. If you don’t have to be in such a relationship, get out and run. It may hurt at first but it hurts more getting scraps when we deserve so much more.
The first two minutes of your article were a real eye opener. I’ve always thought I had a wonderful childhood and have never been able to understand why I have so many problems, including AvPD. You just exactly described my parents! I can’t remember ever being hugged or held by them, even now they are in their 80’s, there’s never any public display of emotions or physical contact. Thank you for your articles, they are very interesting. Unfortunately I’ve not been able to find any therapy here in Wales, and can’t afford private therapy, so I’m trying to learn to handle things through articles from people like you.
Just realizing my husband is dismissive avoidant. We’ve been together 26 yrs. I can’t believe non of the psychologists ever mentioned this. He is not available emotionally and does not show vulnerability. He was abused when he was a kid. Had substance abuse issues. And, acts like a martyr with his Dad’s business. He gaslights me and belittles me when he feels cornered. I feel like I have been dealing with an abusive partner that doesn’t understand what he is doing. I always wondered why he couldn’t be authentic with me. I’m exhausted.
Just listen to your gut people! People reveal to you who they are. Don’t lie to yourself & continue on with these “head up their own ass types. Stay away, from the self help help yourself folks & you’ll have a fulfilling life. People talk themselves into the fairytale & don’t pay attention to their gut in the first place. Much better to be living free than saddled next to a doorknob for 60 years ❤
I didn’t realise that I need to really fully understand this person that I’m dealing with, I thought he’s just shutting me down. Thank you so much for opening my understanding about these qualities and hoping I can be able to help him and help our relationship 🙏❤ I was tiptoeing around him, trying to be careful with words and things I do with him coz he does gets upsets easily or take things negatively and he does suddenly stop everything when things becomes intense and overwhelms him to much especially when he gets too much attention… it stresses him to the point I don’t understand him anymore … I would get very anxious and think negatively like maybe he’s seeing someone else or he’s not into me anymore …
I think my husband is avoidant and I’m anxious so this is creating issues in our marriage. We’ve been together for a total of 9 years (dating included). I hope he will answer these questions. Whenever I have asked him about childhood, he just says I don’t know defensively. I feel so lonely and frustrated with the lack of intimacy in my marriage. I’ve been seeing a trauma therapist because of my tragic childhood. She just told me I’m having flashbacks. I’m assuming I have PTSD from childhood. I don’t want my husband to fix me. He can’t. I just want some intimacy and empathy. I also don’t want our children to suffer because of our attachment styles and my trauma. I want to have a happy healthy and intimate family unlike the ones we came from.
I’ve noticed a big correlation with “avoidant” partners. Really being people who want to do what they want, and not accept responsibility. Maybe because their parents didn’t respect their responsibility. With that said, we are adults, and it’s on you to fix yourself. It’s not your parents’ fault you won’t step up and correct yourself.
My ex was textbook avoidant. Blaming, stonewalling, would never listen, would cut me off in conversation and rarely let me finish a sentence without her interrupting. Breadcrumbing, her way or no way, Projection, twist the words I would say. Wow. What an impact she made on me. Depression, sadness, hurt, guilty for how she behaved towards me. Yet I still pursed her because I loved her. I never felt so low. I offered to go to couples therapy so I could work on things together and also work on myself. Hoping she would go she adamantly refused saying she didn’t have anything to fix. And there shouldn’t be compromise in relationships. I’m floored. How can someone act this way and think this is ok …
I was ghosted out of a (what felt to me) deep friendship with a Fearful Avoidant. I am mostly secure but his behaviour brought out some anxious tendencies due to old wounds. Anyway, very little people talk about all that stuff in friendships, but your article really helped me still, as I expierienced most of the problems mentioned here in our friendship as well and it helps me get rid of the self-blame of being too pushy or needy and maybe that’s why he ghosted me. I actually did most of the things right by instinct, without even knowing about attachment styles. So I feel it was very little my fault. That eases the self-blame – not the pain or the feel of missing him. I love him, I love our friendship and I hope after learning so much about him the universe or whatever will give us a second chance.
You know I find it interesting that most of these articles on avoidant styles give excuses.. this happened in their childhood.. and therefore we need to treat them this way… screw that they’re adults! We all had stuff happened to us in our childhood why is that they get a pass? Why does the anxious attachment style have to be one to adjust? I’ll venture a guess!! It’s because they’re too narcissistic to try and meet anybody in the middle is there a way or the highway! Just stay away from this type of person it’s not worth the heartache you will endure over and over
Intergraded without choice. Family intergraded lifestyle alongside never seening homelike relationships. BIA schools kept us years in and years our. Holidays were unhealthy an physical abuse. Tough kids at school something else . Looking back now im relax because fighting thur out childhood with lack of courage an understanding. Not sure what im trying to reach or remember. Thank You once again Dr.Sage
I’m avoidant and tbh I don’t know exactly why. The only thing I can think of is that I had gastrointestinal problems and other health issues growing up, and because they happened so often, my mom got tired of them and got angry at me because she believed that eating unhealthy was the cause of those problems (I didn’t see a correlation because sure they tended to happen when I ate junk but I ate junk often and didn’t have problems the majority of that time). If I could hide the pain, I hid it just so I wouldn’t have to deal with pain AND my mom’s reproaches. It sucks that for everything else my mom was helpful and encouraged a secure attachment style, but this one thing made all her efforts go to the trash… My bf and I have had trouble because he expects a level of intimacy that I wasn’t providing. I started doing what he wished I did, like hold hands and ask to spend the night at his place (we’re asexual so I didn’t know there was a need to share a bed). But I wonder if there’s more things. If my bf was more comfortable sharing his needs, I’d be happy to oblige, but even though I have been nothing but understanding and welcoming of his opinions, I still think he hesitates to tell me things with the fear that I might be hurt or something idk
Honestly this article does help my understand, I know she wants to try and I understand how hard it can be for it and I want to be able to help her maybe ease into everything so that she can have that ability to reach out for comfort instead of always relying on herself, which I do too but I’m not as much of a struggle since I talk with my mom a lot so That I’m able to ground myself and just understand from different perspectives.
I really enjoyed this vid. I would appreciate using more examples of the avoidant vulnerabilities such as you did on the last one: 9:20 when you notice them try to make quick repairs. I also appreciate when you described the physiological expressions 5:26 of an avoidant together with the corresponding vulnerability, like not wanting to show their neediness or weaknesses. Thanks Kim, great stuff! 👍
Unpopular opinion: It’s more important you find a partner who supports your goals/ endeavors than someone who meets your needs. You should be able to take care of your own needs as an adult UNLESS you have medical issues, etc that don’t enable you to take care of your needs. When you look for someone who supports your life goals, everything else will fall into place.
my partner doesnt avoid me completely, but he avoids any emotional connection / deep feelings / conversations that illicit emotional reactions from either myself or him- and I think that’s worse than him being completely silent from me as I don’t know how to not want him to speak to me with care and compassion and show an interest in my feelings. he doesn’t like it when I want things he feels like he cannot provide, but he doesn’t explicitly tell me he doesn’t want to provide them, so I’m just left feeling horribly alone and ashamed for wanting the things that I feel like I deserve…
How would I go about “informing” a person that they have an avoidant attachment style without sounding like I am psychoanalyzing them or triggering the “I don’t have needs” response? I have seen him grow a lot, and he really tries, but I think if he knew more about the attachment styles, he might just do a deep dive and work to fix that as well.
PLEASE!!! They Are Entitled Narcissists!!! Both of my Parents and Entire “Family” denied Me of LOVE & attention and I am NOTHING like those demons, I am Capable of Giving & Receiving LOVE, and I don’t Need Anybody’s Validation, I have a healthy emotional person inside of me that Understands that LOVE is about Giving and Receiving.
Sorry but l really heard l have to make all the adjustments sort of walk on eggs. Everytime l speak to her l have to evaluate what words must l use which must l avoid…it’s taxing. The avoidant l live with has standards of perfection. If l try and make a mistake or fail l’m not reliable enough…so she goes more deeply into her shell.
I see that some avoidants, when they approach you in the beginning, they make it seem like they want a relationship without, or at least, they come at you from that angle. As time progresses, they become cold and distant and the interaction begins to fizzle out. They don’t always get up and leave, they stick around and this confuses the anxious partner cause if he doesn’t love me, why is he sticking around, right ? The answer is, that, they stick around for sexual benefits. Had nothing to do with love or affection. It’s to use you to fulfill their sexual desires. You’ll notice that they still remain avoidant, stoic and vague. They may be fake nice to you every time they need a release so your body may be of service to them. Other than that, you’re on your own, buddy!
Reading the comments fills me with sadness for the pain and loss suffered at the hands of dismissive avoidant or covert narcissists or whatever the clinical labels are for souless monsters hiding in sheep skin coats. I had a horrible childhood of emotional and physical abuse,my parents never showed and affection to each other or to me. No siblings,not allowed to have friends or go out after school, just used as child labour by my father and abused by a wicked mother . That didn’t make me a dismissive avoidant. My so called partner could fake empathy and show affection when it was to her advantage She married 3 times. The last was to a much older man she seduced for his wealth, and I have that from that mans daughter. He passed away age 72 and she dragged me into bed on our first date just 8 months later. No doubt to relieve her great grief. Sorry but I think it’s a choice to be so deeply self focused and ti switch off empathy and hurt others Narcissism particularly the vulnerable covert type fits like a glove with dismissive avoidance. If you shut out the light to choose being souless no doubt entities are jumping for joy to find a fit dwelling place.
my partner fits all of this even though you said this article is not for us lol. He is clearly an avoidant literally haven’t spoke to me for a week + because I said we need to discuss being loyal and respectful as me. But How do I address him correctly, how to hold him accountable. His mother definitely left him as a child and he has detachment disorder affectionately it’s hard for him. Even committment issues, I know I shouldn’t still be here, but we grew up together and now I have made myself small to suit his needs and I can’t do that anymore.
Pretty sure I’m avoidant. I went to the doctor complaining about chest pain but made it clear its not my heart because I can feel emotion with it, stangly. She asked heaps of questions and said….”I cant rule out your heart! How long has this pain been bothering you?” Me…”oh probably about 2 years now I guess” Doctor…”WHAT!!!!?? Why haven’t you been in sooner!?” Me…”well clearly if it was my heart, I would have dropped dead by now so I figured it was my mental health bull shit again” 😐
Why does our complexity in attachment sometimes directed towards the ones closest (like girlfriend or spouse) to us while we have some ease of interaction and emotions with friends and people in social setups? Is it because we have a fear of loss or other fear related parameters associated with the ones closest who we share love with but these parts are not really exposed in the social contexts?
So basically we are all playing a article game where we need to press certain buttons and different stages of the game just to get through it… miserable. My Wife I’ve just discovered is a disorganized avoidant / NPD. I’m anxious but keep getting secure from the tests. It’s a freaking nightmare scenario. Just found out she’s cheating. Lives over
Maybe some of the people putting down avoidants would be running the other way if the avoidant actually changed, who would you blame for your problems then? Maybe you are an avoidant your self, so being avoided works for you but you dont even know it because you dont have to do the avoiding you can be the victim..lol
Avoidant person wouldn’t mind if you let him/her, I know that because I was that. It will forget you forever. Don’t date avoidant that person would never love you until it heal by himself herself. It’s because they don’t develop attachment and they forget you with speed of light, I don’t believe people who are in any kind relationship are avoidant. So don’t think if your partner avoids you he/ she is avoidant it simple doesn’t like you
OK I will try to avoid triggering my DA wife. However, it’s very difficult to not trigger someone when all I am doing is literally breathing at times and being myself. For example, I like to take photos of pretty and beautiful moments, and I like to share them on Instagram. This triggers, my wife is being disrespectful to her so I cannot even take a selfie of myself or take a selfie of us together and post it anywhere I feel like a dog who is just being a dog, but being randomly kicked or scolded or punished for something that a dog normally does So I agree, one should really be conscious and aware with a DA personality to try not to trigger them However, when a person pure existence and normal or society would probably consider normal behavior triggers, the DAs anxiety I’m not too sure what else can be done