Childlessness is a unique journey for every couple, and it is important to distinguish between marital status and parental status. In the early modern period, single women typically had no children. To maintain a childless marriage, couples should embrace their uniqueness, communicate openly, define priorities, cultivate their relationship, discover their passions, embrace their community, and nurture self-care.
When discussing childlessness, it is crucial to be honest and open with your partner. The decision to have children is a big one, and it can push boundaries, test patience, and challenge you and your spouse in ways you have never been challenged before. Infertility and childlessness are a major loss in life, and the only way to cope with it is to go through the grieving process.
In Ghana, children are also a status symbol, and all married adults are expected to have children. In the past, the greater the number of children you had, the higher the respect you earned in society. Marriages without children are therefore seen as a bad omen.
Emotional distance and intimacy in a loveless marriage are reduced to a minimum, and affectionate gestures like holding hands, hugging, and kissing become rare or nonexistent. Physical intimacy is reduced to a minimum, and emotional connection and intimacy have faded away.
To handle infertility, couples should be patient, show understanding and acceptance, recognize their value and worth, identify new avenues to meaning and joy, feel seen and validated in their childless experience, and find inspiring places to connect.
Building a positive image of your marriage, enjoying being childless, and not wallowing in self-pity are essential steps to maintain a childless marriage. Seeking emotional support is extremely important to the process of coping with not having kids.
📹 Childless By Choice – A Powerful Act of Fulfillment | Vicki McLeod | TEDxGastownWomen
Living a fulfilled life is a radical act. It is even more radical when you choose to live it in an unconventional way. In her talk Vicki …
Do childless couples divorce more?
A new study says that 66% of divorced couples have no children, while about 40% have children together. But researchers disagree on why childless couples are more likely to divorce. Some think that couples without kids have less reason to stay married. They aren’t staying together because of the kids or trying to make things work to keep their family together. When childless couples divorce, there are no custody battles or payments. They can just split their property and start over. Others say the study didn’t ask if couples were childless by choice. They think couples divorced because of different views on having kids or being unable to have them. Infertility and arguments about having kids can be stressful. The bottom line? Experts say talking about having kids before marriage is important for a healthy marriage. Those starting fertility treatments should talk with their partner about how far they want to go to start a family. More research is needed to understand the effects of a childless marriage.
How do you cope with being childless?
What support can I get? Grief is different for everyone. It can take time to accept what comes next. Some people find it helpful to talk to others who have experienced childlessness or join online forums and communities. This can help with feelings of isolation and exclusion.
Professional help. Seeking support from a grief and loss expert can also help. Counseling helps you process your experiences and heal. You’re not alone. There are also online support groups. Connecting with others who have been through a similar experience can help you cope and reassure you that you are not alone.
What happens to your body if you never have children?
Having a child is a big change. Raising a child is expensive and time-consuming. It can also affect a woman’s health. Not having kids can raise the risk of certain health issues. Having kids can also raise the risk of heart disease and chronic pain for some women.
How Childbirth Can Improve Your Health. Studies show that women who have children are less likely to get breast, ovarian, or endometrial cancers. The benefit seems to get better with each additional full-term pregnancy, especially for women who gave birth before 30. Other studies have found that women who have not had children may die or have mental health problems earlier. But not all the research looks at other things that could make people live longer, like income or health problems that make women choose not to have children.
What are childless couples called?
A DINK is a couple with no kids and two incomes. Couples in a DINK household often have more money because they don’t have kids. They also spend less on housing because they can share rooms.
Compare DINKs with DEWKs, a living arrangement where both partners work and have children. A DINK is a household with two incomes and no children. DINKs often have higher disposable incomes and are often targets of marketing efforts for investment products and luxury items. There are several types of DINK situations, including new couples, empty nesters, and other childless couples.
How to cope if you can’t have kids?
I’ve found therapy helpful. … Peer support from the Childless Not By Choice and the mental health community. … I’ve been open about my experiences. I’ve worked with my therapist to redefine my expectations and values and work out what makes me happy and who I am. This week (Sept. 14-20) is World Childless Week. It’s a week to talk about a taboo topic that affects mental health. I am childless by choice, but it’s like having long-standing mental health problems. It’s another club I never expected to be in. Like many people, I have always wanted to be a mother. I first thought about it when I started babysitting at age 12 or 13. People told me I was good with kids and that I would make a great mother. It is also when I started struggling with my mental health. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts throughout my life. As a teenager, I talked with friends about the statistic that one in five couples can’t have children. I had a feeling it might be me, but I didn’t think much of it. In my thirties. This isn’t a story about my childlessness journey. It’s about the impact it’s had on my mental health. The tests, the hopes, the years. My family and friends were getting pregnant, but I wasn’t. For years, it destroyed me.
Can infertility ruin a marriage?
Infertility affects couples, not just women. About 1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant, and men are involved in half of these cases. Fertility problems can break a relationship. “Going through a disappointing and frustrating experience as a couple often pushes both people to their limits, and they end up falling apart,” Diana Kirschner, a clinical psychologist, told health.com. But if you have fertility problems, it doesn’t have to ruin your relationship. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship strong while you deal with infertility.
IT TAKES A TEAM. When a couple struggles to conceive, people often blame the woman. However, 30% of infertility cases are caused by men. Despite the numbers, 80% of men won’t get a fertility evaluation, leaving the woman to carry the burden.
How to accept you won’t have children?
Think about what is and what can be, not what should or could be. Imagine your future without children. … Remove painful reminders. You need to understand why you don’t want kids. People may not have children for many reasons. It may be because you don’t want kids, your partner doesn’t want kids, or you can’t have kids. If you can’t have kids, you might feel sad and scared about life without kids. But you can cope and move on.
Express your feelings. It’s okay to feel any way you want to feel. You can express your emotions in any way you want. Be realistic about life. If you don’t want children, accept it. Then, do these things every day:
How do I let go of not having kids?
If you regret not having children, acknowledge your feelings, examine your regrets, embrace your situation, recognize that you’re not alone, explore your options. It’s natural to sometimes regret not having children, whether you chose not to or circumstances forced you to. Almost every non-parent has wondered if they should have had children, especially as they age. If you’re struggling with being childless, here are some suggestions to help you feel better.
Admit your feelings. It’s normal to have regrets. Everyone looks back on their life and regrets something. The key is how you deal with your regrets. You can’t change your situation, but how you respond is important.
First, be honest with yourself. But you can’t stay there. You can’t let being childless define you. You have more to offer than just being a parent. Realize this and you’ll be better off.
What are the psychological effects of not having a child?
Introduction About 70-80 million couples worldwide are infertile. Many more are childless. Most people want to have children. Not being able to have children is a big problem. Many people want to have more children, even if they already have some. Many studies in Western countries have shown that involuntary childlessness has strong psychological consequences. Most studies in this area are quantitative, and some are qualitative. Both types of studies show that there are many psychological and physical effects, and women are especially affected. The most common effects are distress, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, feelings of blame and guilt, physical complaints, and reduced sexual interest. For some women and men in the West, these effects are serious (Greil, 1997).
It is interesting that social and cultural consequences are rarely mentioned in these studies. These aspects are often related to studies about elderly people without children. The studies say that older people without children have less social support and a weaker network for living independently than older people with children. Wirtberg and colleagues did a study on elderly women who had no choice about not having children. They reported on 14 women and said that in all cases but one, sexual life was affected. Half of these elderly women were separated. Some studies say that childless couples have trouble talking to friends with kids. They describe negative comments at social events, but also supportive reactions (Greil, 1991; van Balen et al., 1996; Schmidt, 2006). Childless couples can participate in the world of children if they have good friends or relatives with children. They can take care of the children of their friends and relatives, for example, by looking after them during the week or when the parents are on holiday. They can also take the children to school, music lessons or sports activities, or go to games or shows in which the children participate. A study found that about ten percent of couples had chosen this as a way of coming to terms with their childlessness (van Balen, 1991). Recently, Wirtberg and colleagues described this as a typical coping strategy for childlessness. In the West, childless people can still raise children.
Can marriage survive without a child?
Being childless has its advantages. Childless women tend to be wealthier than mothers. Their friendships can deepen over time. Hence, childless couples can be just as fulfilled as people with children. She says it’s a myth that all children take care of their parents in old age. Marni Amsellem, a psychologist in New York and Connecticut, says every childless couple is different. For most, it’s just a choice. They often are close with their partners, and sometimes it’s their second marriage and they’re older, so having children isn’t an option.
📹 How To Cope With Being Childless Not By Choice
For my Tribe of childless women: This video is for YOU; helpful and humorous info on how to cope with being childless not by …
I’m 53..childfree..and have no regrets in my decision. I’m not a fan of children. I like my freedom. I like a peaceful house when I’m home sick. I have better things to do with $250,000 than raise a child. I like sleeping in. Disney is cheaper without kids. I can go see a horror movie rather than the emoji movie. I can spend $300 on Lion King tickets. I can have a room devoted to doing my crafts in. I like my life with just my husband and myself. What ever any woman’s reason is for not having a child. We need to. stop questioning it.
I have so many childfree friends and never once had it occurred to me question their life choices. Having children is in no way the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done in my life. What a crazy thing to say. I love my children, but my reason for being? No way. Everyone is on their own path, by choice or circumstance, and if there is joy on your path you’re doing it right.
I’ve been married 6 years now and I am always asked when are you going to have kids? Why do people care so much? It drives me nuts when people have this I feel sorry for you face when they hear my answer no to their question if I have kids. I’m not sorry I’m happy that I find my purpose in other things than having a kid.
If only we could dump the “I don’t have kids but I’m such a cool aunt” narrative. It implies that women need children – if not theirs then someone else’s – to be “normal” and fulfilled. When asked if they have children, childless men just say “nope”. They don’t feel the need to add mitigating statements and neither should we.
I think many women have children and they get married because they think, they have to…I never followed the crowds….no regrets…when people ask me why I didn’t have children they expect maybe a sad story so when i say the truth That I never really wanted any, …..they get shocked…and do I feel complete?? yes, manly because i was truthful to myself, I am the one who has to look at myself in the mirror…
I’m 35, childfree and happily married. Women tend to either treat me with suspicion, pity, or infantilise me and tend to exclude me from activities (baby showers, coffee meet-ups etc) as they assume I hate children! Interestingly, men tend to be curious and find my independent, unconventional nature appealing! As well as over-population and environmental concerns, I don’t feel there is anything missing in my life, and don’t want to give up my hobbies and identity to become a mother. Even though maternity pay, flexible working etc is much better, the reality of working and raising a child doesn’t sound much fun to me. Also, even though men are taking a more active role in child care, in many cases, the every day childcare is still mainly left to women (e.g. dropping kids of at school etc). I get on the train every morning, and often there will be none or very few women in their 30s in the carriage (and sometimes no women at all!) and I sometimes wonder whether we are living in the 1950s still. The men are happily reading their newspapers or chatting about their hobbies, whilst the women look tired and haggered and mostly just talk about their children. At the weekends, I see hoards of women with designer prams going for coffee or to play groups, and I often wonder what their husbands are doing? Until childcare becomes a bit more equal, I think I will pass, thank you!
I chose to be sterilized 44 years ago. It’s the smartest thing I’ve done so far!!! Thanks to Planned Parenthood, the only ones who would do it. I was turned down by 10 old male doctors who thought they should choose my life for me. I shutter to think what I would have missed had I been forced to risk pregnancy.
I just feel so bad for those who will experience the end of the world or a catastrophic event. All this fuss when we know nothing lasts forever. Be kind and love those who are here. There is an over abundance of people and need. Those who wish to not bow to social pressures can provide the love, energy, and strength of will that is so desperately needed. Creating more children for the sake of having children is wrong.
I love kids and have lots of experience as a teacher, nanny, preschool teacher and mentor and fairy godmother. Because I have so much experience I know the reality of kids and I can’t believe how if someone wants to drive a car they need to go through a process to get a the credential for a license, or go to college for a career but without any preparation or education on the topic, rando irresponsible idiots can put an innocent child into this world. I think anyone who wants to be a parent should be required to feed babies and change diapers, wake up,prepare, and drop off school aged children then help them with their homework and then council troubled teens and prep them for college. If they did this and still wanted children afterwards they would be somewhat ready. Meanwhile its guaranteed many would not! A program like this would help society. The world is overpopulated anyway and the ocean is full of plastic so the human race is sadly doomed due to corporate greed. No one thinks about 60 years from now, or even 30… the future your child will be living. They just think “I want a baby” … so selfish.
Most people who have children do it for utilitarian reasons, they want to get something out of it (social status, someone to take care of them when they are old, filling in the empty hours of their life) the ones who decide not to have children are the ones who feel that they would lose something if they had children, whereas those who want to have children don’t have anything of value in their lives, so they don’t have that dilemma.
I loved reading the comments. I’m 35 and also childfree. All of my friends have children and whenever I see them, they never bring up the subject but they look at me like there’s something very odd about the way I’ve chosen to live my life, about me. It’s like there’s a barrier between us for chosing to have children or not to, which makes me a little sad. I also live in a mostly Catholic country so I think the pressure to have kids is stronger.
If you’re wondering why you get asked this question a lot “when are you going to have kids?” It’s because people like to assume that you to are following the social norm. This is usually because they themselves are having doubts about whether or not they should reproduce and when uncertain about a life path, what do people do? They look for clarification and an inherent need to stick with the herd and do the normal safe thing like it’s some kind of recipe for happiness. So instead of making a conscious decision based on what they really want – They go with the flow and then find themselves at 25, 30, 35, 40 wondering why they aren’t happy and life didn’t turn out how they’d always hoped it would. Then there’s the new parents that are completely obsessed with their babies like it’s Christmas every day – You often find that they had very little enjoyment, activity, and fun in their life before kids so when they do have them it’s suddenly given their life purpose. Those who already had all this feel that having children may take away from that. (Less time, freedom, money. More stress etc).
So glad people are starting to “come out” about this! We live in a parent-oriented society for sure. Some people are harassed or even disowned by their families for not having biological children. For most it’s not that serious, but the majority of us–especially women–have experienced at least SOME judgment on the issue. If everyone was childfree, we’d be in trouble as a species. Likewise, if every man & woman had children, we’d be in a lot of trouble population-wise since some families have 3 or more kids. Diversity is to be welcomed, not shunned.
Thank you so much for this! As a 20 year old I knew from age 11 I would never have children at mainly because I lost so much of my childhood to take care of my younger siblings so I associate kids with no fun and since then I knew kids were not for me. My lifestyle includes long trips, peaceful days at the beach and many haunted houses and I may be selfish but I will not ruin the rest of my life. I am currently searching for a doctor who will remove my tubes so no accidents happen.
Loved this talk. Amazing and oh so true. I’m a 63 year woman. A mother and grandmother. But respect applaud and encourage young woman towards self empowerment. We’re certainly not at the brink of extinction. Quiet on the contrary. I write poetry and written a few works on this very topic as well. Thank you again 💓
Childfree since I was 19. That’s when I got my vasectomy. I will never regret that decision. This is an important subject that not enough people are talking about. For you info, i am very happy. I have been with my spouse for going on 5 years and we could not be happier. Wanted to note that, while you do mention that only women are asked if they have kids in public, it is ultimately a decision made by two people. I have all the respect in the world for people who adopt. Giving birth to a child is the thing I can’t agree with. So, basically, there is just a much weight on men when it comes to that decision as their is for women. My father, for one, has basically disowned me because of my decision.
I always get the “you will change your mind when you are older” speech when I mention I don’t want children, however, it is when I mention I don’t want to get married or even have a boyfriend that they get really shocked and look at me with pity. I know I am definitely not alone in not wanting children but finding people that understand that feeling of not even wanting to be in a relationship is a bit more difficult.
i always tell people “I want to be like my uncle” who has no kids, lives his best life, and is loved by every single person bc he’s such a vibrant person. However, nobody questions him on a daily basis and when he does say “I love kids but I’m a better uncle than I’d be a father!” He always gets a laugh and people move on. With women, we say the same thing and they look at us as selfish, narcissistic, and useless. When we explain why we don’t want kids nobody laughs, they just judge and grow concerned. It’s such a misogynist mindset and I really wish in 2023 we could move past this.
I am an 82 year old man, childless by choice, and never regretted it. Occasionally I am asked if I have children. My reply is usually: No, I’m childless by choice, or I have given the gift of space for others; it is the most precious gift you can give to an overpopulated, resource depleted planet. I am thanked for this gift by having to pay an extra $2000 per year in federal income tax for the one replacement in quantity child I didn’t have.
Thank You for this, Ive been struggling for a couple of years Now with this issue. I like kids But not of my own. The question irritates me most of the time when people ask me. Especially when its people who have kids of their own and complain all the time about not sleeping, No sexlife etc. I feel like: You wanted this yourself..? Or maybe you didnt realize it was society pushing You? I Dont know But its great to see that more and more women are choosing another destiny.
I want to be childfree..I’m an Indian and in India being a mother is the most important job…My mom was shocked when I revealed this decision to her..And my sister taunts me for having such a choice..But I don’t understand those who want to be childfree never ask any couple who want to have children that why are you having children..But we those who want to be childfree always have to face questions and humilations..But I will not change my decision of being childfree, and if I have to fight for it I will and if because of this decision I will have to remain unmarried for the rest of my life I will but I will not change my decision..Because the society needs to understand we all have choices and we should respect everyone’s choice
I’m 26, been married since I was 21 and now all the questions are coming about children. It feels constant. What people don’t know is we did try early on and didn’t get pregnant. We have since realised we really don’t want children. There are so many things we want to do in life and children don’t fit into these plans. My husband doesn’t get asked about children, however my parents, MIL, and colleagues constantly ask me and say ‘you don’t want to wait too long’ etc. Really fed up of my uterus being the topic of conversation. The only person who knows we don’t want children and supports it is my father in law. He is supportive of whichever choice we make and acknowledges that he found raising children very stressful and it isn’t for everyone.
I totally respect and understand why women would want to be child free! I have one child, and while I am so thankful I have her, it is alot of work! She was very wanted by my husband and I, but I did not understand fully the amount of sacrifices that I would have to make at the time I was trying to concieve her. It does get easier, however, as the years go by ; and I’m thankful we get to enjoy life with her now. ( mind you she was an easy baby, healthy, and easy child to teach). People often ask me why I dont have a second child. I tell them I rolled the dice once and thankfully hit the jackpot…why would I need to roll again? I understand women not wanting to roll the dice at all. There are many risks, “what ifs”, and alot of work involved until you can get the child to a point of semi independence. So I will say it was worth it for my ONE child, but no way would I have been happy with more! Women will be judged no matter what they decide for themselves…so just do what makes you happiest!
Let’s be real for a moment. People with children sometimes wish the never had any. I know I do some days. I love my kids, but I wonder what my life would have been child free. At the same time my experience is different then some. My first child unfortunately was not planned so, I was bitter about kids for years and years. I met my wife she had a child also. We both brought one child to the relationship. We got married after being together 10 years. We were both scared that my wife would be unable to bare anymore children and wanted to share a child together. So we had a little adorable baby girl wish I love to death. However after 2 years LOL terrible two’s sometimes I think to myself, WTF what we were thinking. But I know ten years from now, hopefully things will be different. It’s all good, these are good conversations to have. Not everyone wants kids and that’s ok. Not every women wants to bare children, and there’s nothing wrong with that notion. Women aren’t just baby making machines, they are much more and our culture is slowly getting it. Me and my wife probably would have been just fine without having another baby, but for us, it was worth dealing with the stress then the regret later. That’s us though. Some people will never have regrets and that’s normal fine and cool and besides it’s your life. You do what makes you feel happy. Other people will always judge and have their opinions, but guess what, they don’t pay your bills or govern your household, so their opinion isn’t worth the lips they were spouted from.
I am not childless by choice. I wanted children. I don’t really place value in age. As I know a fair amount of women in their early 40s who got pregnant naturally because they thought they couldn’t and stop using bc pills. Anyway, finding a man that I loved and who loved me proved to be elusive. Life just said marriage and children will not happen to you. After depression and feeling like I lost out. I came to term with the fact that this is the hand that I have been dealt. I have learned to enjoy my life as is. I still date, hang out and do what I want when I want. I have found a pleasure in bucking society’s expectation of who I am suppose to be because I am a women. It’s somewhat liberating not having that responsibility.
I’m a 50 something year old, married woman and I knew very early in my life I wasn’t that interested in children or having them. My husband didn’t care either way and he even moved to not being interested after we were married a few years. I have always loved and momma’d my animals and that is how it is even today. I was always the type to go goo goo over baby animals, especially puppies and I didn’t feel much of anything towards human babies. I’m just wired that way and it’s never been something I long pondered. I never really felt pressure from society to have kids but my dad has always been disappointed. My mom actually thought it was my choice and never gave me too much grief about it. My sister had kids for them so, hey, all is good! I’m still happy with my choice to this day.
Honestly, having women pressured to having kids as a default to their “life purpose” is such a waste. Women can be good moms yes, if they choose that willingly, but they should reflect on what else they can contribute to the world that is in a crisis mode in terms of the lovelessness of how it operates. Could women serve in other ways that bring more love and thoughtfulness to the world at large? To millions of starving children? To millions of people enslaved under our economic system? To the earth we depend on that is being destroyed by our cruelty ? What we need more than ever is more women to be leaders. Not saying men can’t do this, but we need more women as they can offer something different.
If someone would birth a child for me, feed it, get up for it in the night, change its nappy, pay for everything and worry about it, then I might consider motherhood. But seriously, I am so fed up of mothers who look at me as if I were a moron for not being maternal. They all say “you’ll change your mind when you meet the one” with a knowing, smug look. “No lady, if I find the one, I’ll want a peaceful, quiet, child free life with him, thanks”- some people do NOT WANT children. End of… I wish people would respect our right to not want children as much as we respect their right to want children.
I simply don’t want any. I am still a kid, 18 yrs old and still get people to torture my mind with this question. I never get questions as “whats your hobby” or “whats your favorite type of music/art/games etc” but I get “Do you want kids”. No, I don’t. I simply don’t. The end, finito. And when they question why as no isn’t enough, that’s when I get frustrated. There’s MANY reasons, one is that I just don’t want to ruin a body I am working so hard to achieve. And the most important is, I want an art career. Art is a craft that takes dedication, responsibility, time, freedom, to be done. When they say ” Oh well many concept artist have children” but many of them are males, having a woman taking care of those… I am not male as you can see. Plus, when I have a talk with my boyfriend and apparently “he doesn’t want any”… But then when I say no, he has to ask as there’s deeper meaning, as I didn’t explain many times why… Then I get upset because he is ignoring my NO, and usually he asks me why am I saying many reasons why not when he didn’t ask but he literally did ask with ” tell me why”
Waaauw such a relief to see all these comments! Im 30 and I just don’t feel that the world needs more humans right now – we need less!! World is overpopulated. Not having a child is seen as en egoistic choice, but it’s the other way around. Your needs to bring more of yourself into a world, that is burning, animals loosing habitat and all of the environment getting ruined, THAT is egoistic.
I actually question when women have to throw in the “don’t get me wrong, I love children” disclaimer. I view it as them still feeling the need to control the perception of them being monsters who want harm to come to children. I don’t want children. I don’t like children and I am unapologetic about it. This in no way means I wish harm to children. When I hear about cruelty to any child, I am as heartbroken and livid as I am hearing about harm that comes to any living being, because I am an empathetic human being who does not relish in suffering. I have a niece whom I love and whom I am extremely protective over, but I still do not like children. Yes, the two things can co-exist. Even if I met someone who awakened a desire in me to have a child, it would be something specific to our particular connection and would not mean that I now love all children. Yes, that too is possible.
Such a brave story! As we can tell from the very strong opinions on this comment thread, this is an emotional subject. So imagine how hard it must be to get out on stage and expose yourself to people’s strong opinions. I’m not sure I could do it. In fact, I’m already worrying about the replies I may get from this comment. Choosing to be childless (particularly as a woman) should be welcomed into the fabric of our community just like one child families, large families, those that adopt and foster and are favourite Aunts or Uncles. There’s room for all of us and it won’t hurt the population, in fact it will only add to it.
It’s just sad how people keep trying to convince me that I must be having a child when I don’t want any. I already feel happy with the way things are. There is no point in bringing a child to this world when I know won’t be able to raise them the way they deserve to be raised. Not all of us have to be mothers
This Childless By Choice An Act of Fulfillment via Vicki McLeod Tedx Talk IA thought provoking to listen to. My husband and I are voluntarily childless by choice and I have nothing against parents or children especially since a multiple number of people in my life who have been allies to me in both challenging and good times are parents. Still I am glad to have accessed this Tedx Vicki McLeod YouTube feature to hear the extensive and compelling viewpoints of another childless by choice viewpoint.
I am a doctor myself & once, I asked a senior gynaecologist I know, about methods of permanent sterilization (my husband & I’s joint decision). She was horrified! And said, ” what will you do? You’ll both get bothered of each other! ” & went on to lecture me as if I was making a wrong decision! I know how my mother regretted having me (as if that was my fault). And I KNOW I don’t want kids. Simple!
I have nothing against children. i would never harm a child, if i saw one in need i would try and help 4sure, but its really not my thing. Kids are annoying and noisy and command your full attention at all times and your life becomes them. Sorry not interested. Not to mention expensive and bringing them into an enslaved world. Nothing makes be run away as fast as i can in the opposite direction that someone’s screaming, freshly downloaded scion, having a temper tantrum. Just leaves me cold.
All the vile, misogynistic men in these comments, saying things to the effect of “you deserve to die unhappy and alone” or “you deserve to die” period, to these women who are trying to make a responsible decision for themselves just goes to show me how sick and antiquated so much of this society is. Men don’t have the right to women’s bodies or their hypothetical children. Man or woman, It is a laudable act to make the decision to not have children if you know you can’t handle them or that your life will be unhappy if you do have them.
I’m so glad I ran into this because right about now I’m feeling the pressure from family and friends that I NEED to have children, but I’ve never wanted to. It’s not that I don’t like kids, I love them. I just don’t understand the need women have to give up their body, their life and peace for a baby. For a long time I’ve been made felt like something is wrong with me for this but I’m glad to see I’m not alone in this.
My brother abandoned his child.. I am childfree yet im paying for the child support of his kids cause i cant ignore them being hungry this pandemic… Now who is more selfish. Dont have children you cant take care of. So many irresponsible parents. Besides the earths resources are depleted. And the state of world is not good..
I also believe mental health is a very huge factor as well as far as decision making. Because if your childhood was not that good and growing up then would you be mentally capable? For me personally I’ve just had times in my life where they were at their darkest until I discovered EDM and then that made me want to become a DJ & producer. I’m thankful everyday no matter what. In a nutshell Mental health is very important and most of society has just not recognized it yet.
In my country men divorce their wife because they don’t have children. Women without a child or single is like anormal living being. I am truly happy to see millions of people sharing the same mindset with me. Child is a human being-it is a serious decision. A bad parent is not different than a murderer- they all cause ‘death’.
I’m in my 50s and only am more happy about my decision to be childfree the older I get. Yes, childfree. I’m not “less” of anything. My childfree life gives me more – more freedom, more options, more time to do the things that matter to me. I am so glad to be out of the reproductive years when the relentless pressure to have children bombards women at every angle.
”It implies something’s missing.” EXACTLY! There’s not a thing missing. People must learn to understand that, children, much like everything else in life, are great for those who actually WANT those things in life. Do you know how many people did have kids and regret it? I’d hate to know the percentage.
It’s refreshing to see other women who feel the same. I’m in my mid-30s & the subtle “oh” I get from women speaks mountains. It’s a pity oh. I’ve even had women go as far as to say, “It’ll happen for you one day. There’s still hope.” As if I’m lonely & in despair of not having children or even a man! I hate the realization that’s there’s still a lot of women out there that base their worth off of having a significant other & children. These are (some) women that later complain about their SO & the burden of children.
I have a child but agree it is not the be all an end all and you dont need a child to be happy and fulfilled Well I didnt plan to get pregnant it was an accident and many people end up having their children that way, many children were not planned, then they decide they need to have another one to give their first one a sibling not because they really want another one, I am glad I have my son now but i doubt id be regretting not having a child if i hadnt of gotten pregnant
I read a couple of the negative comments. Honestly I don’t think that you should have to say, “I love being an Aunt” Why would we even go there as childless or childfree? It strikes me as we are forced to say it so as people don’t look at us as if we have 3 heads. From now on I am not going to say anything but “No” as a reply. People will only understand me up to their level of perception and I don’t have to explain myself to them. If they don’t accept the answer then it really isn’t up to me how they perceive me. I am sick of one stepping it with the “I am an aunt, or I have pets.” Neither are the same thing as being a mother and if they want to think of me as a witch with warts…or a troll living under a bridge I suppose that is their own thoughts and I am not responsible to change their thoughts.
We love kids, they are blessings. In my culture, having kids is a must after married, they don’t need to ask me whether I want one or not, they never asked whether I’m ready or not. I’m so grateful finding a man who is my husband now that understand I don’t want kids. Family and friends force me to have one. But I don’t feel intimidating to have a kid. When they said I will regret someday. No I won’t.
I’m 26 now and the pressure is getting real. I realllyy don’t want children, never did. Not that i hate them, i just can’t imagine myself being responsible for someone else’s wellbeing 24/7 and have no desire for that. Deep down i always knew i’ll never have children and i’m totally fine with that but the social pressure just feels weird. The only thing i know is that i’d be completely broken if the person i love left me because of my decision not to have kids. I’m terrified of the idea i could agree to have them just to make him stay. It would be a horrible scenario. Btw, why do people say ‘having kidS’? Like one isn’t more than enough.
I don’t want kids. I’m turning 20 soon but I think I have known deep inside for a long time. Because I have always been uncomfortable around kids. What I wanted since i was little was getting a good education with maybe an Ivy League job, so I can get really comfortable financially, exceeding what I grew up with and then support my parents with whatever they want when they are retired. That’s the least I could do to give back what they gave to me. But that doesn’t include building a legacy for my children or even marry maybe I’m just better off alone and that’s okay. But I don’t get why my plans are always labeled as selfish and why I would want to have such high goals if not to build a legacy for my family. That’s just sick. Why can’t you understand that I have to make this decision for myself? If I had children I wouldn’t be able to care for them properly because I don’t know how and don’t want to so why should I have any? It would only hurt the child. And for the women who are childless and sterilized how is it? Because I have thought about it for myself in a couple of years. But I don’t know what to expect of it really.
I am ChildFree! 🙂 knew since I was in my teens that I didn’t want to be tied down with baby making chores. I have had a laparoscopic bilateral Salpingectomy, best day ever! 😀 my partner and I prefer to make music (he’s a drummer and I am a cellist), we go on spontaneous adventures, do art, practice yoga when we want, sleep in when we want and generally do whatever the fxxk we want. It’s pretty great to not have to conform to outdated backwards societal expectations. 🙂
Honestly, people should just mind their own business and stop trying to get any justification from childfree people about their choice to remain childfree. Parenthood is a calling and not everybody is called to be a parent, if the existence of abusive parents are any indication. Looking back at when I was eleven years old, I could never really picture myself being a mother and enjoying it. I was one of the few girls in my class who didn’t coo or swoon at the sight of a baby. I am now 22 years old, turning 23 this year — nothing has changed. And I’m happy to know that I am not the only woman who feels this way.
I get stigmatized and demonized for my “choice” not to have children all the time. And it wasn’t even by choice. I tried, and tried and tried. I’m starting to question whether or not I ever wanted to have kids or just thought I should. And if I wanted to 25 years ago when I began trying, do I still want to, or do I just not want to fail at something I tried.
I’m 40, My wife is 52, I just never saw myself as a parent, sometimes I would think about it and it would be nice to have a family, but it’s so much responsibility, my wife would probably love to have children more than me, but she was never given that choice because of a medical issue, Sometimes we both get sad thinking about it, but I believe people can still live a happy life without children.
As some of the comments suggest, it seems that women who don’t have children feel the need to provide some meaningful explanation. “I’m saving the world! I’m creating a rich and fulfilling life! Blah, blah, blah…” Sometimes not having children is a bit of a fluke. It’s just worked out that way. It will be really nice when this is no longer some big controversial debate.
I really don’t like other human beings. I’m much happier with animals and nature than people. Kids, in my opinion, are a financial and emotional drain that I don’t want. If I raised a child to, I don’t know, let’s say 18 and that child died, I’d be more annoyed at how much money I spent on it. Needless to say, I’m doing my possible children a favour. We have too many people on the planet. I would prefer to see the population of endangered animals increase than ours.
I’m choosing not to have children for many reasons. But one of them, a big one, is that I am terrified of being alone, and my mind has gone to having a child, to minimize the chances of being alone. That is not reason enough, I never want to cave into a decision out of fear. Let’s pray I don’t end up all alone hahah.
Even the title of this article was influenced by the mainstream stigma over not having kids. People who opt for a life without children aren’t childLESS, they are child FREE. For example, (I am obviously not about to imply children are a medical malady with the following, so please bear with me since it is merely a linguistic example) just as a person whose dentist gave a clean bill of health would probably declare them as “cavity free” rather than “cavity less” because they didn’t particularly want cavities in their teeth in the first place. So then why are we expected to imply that we are “less” without a child and pretend to be all sorry about it? So society will accept us? Don’t be sorry, be happy! You’ve chosen freedom! Those of you who have chosen children- that’s also wonderful! Now go share your joy with your kids and your family, and don’t go trying to increase the joy of the world by reducing the happiness of others, it won’t work! Love all around!
Yes, but what’s NOT fulfilling is how the state and federal IRS discriminate against the Child-Free in the extreme by giving parents tax breaks, leaving us to make up the difference. And if that’s not bad enough, the biggest killer is probably your property tax bill. Here on Long Island, and probably in most regions with good quality schools, the school tax levied against your single family home is upwards of 65% of your property tax bill! Typically, on a split level, colonial or even many single story ranch homes on Long Island, homeowners will get hit for upwards of $10,000 on school tax alone, plus at least $2700. in general taxes-every year! Some homeowners even get hit with an additional “special district” tax. But it’s the local school tax that is presently the biggest crime of legalized extortion victimizing the Child-Free EVERY tax year. None of us probably mind paying some school tax but none of us should be paying anywhere near what our neighbors with kids pay on homes of comparable assessed value. What to do? Child-Free, especially those over 55, should be posting right here on YOUTUBE numerous TAX REFORM articles on how Child-Free have been singularly extorted every tax year for generations by the federal, state and local tax codes.We must organize and PETITION congress and our state legislatures to reform, if not abolish outright, these highly discriminatory forms of taxation. DO IT NOW!!
My grandmother : wanna hold David (my 1 year old nephew ) for a bit ? Me : no, thanks … My grandmother : Why not ? Isn’t he adorable ? Here, hold him ! Me : No, I don’t want to . My grandmother : Why not ? Me : Granny, I don’t like kids . My grandmother : WHAT ? Me : I don’t like ki- My grandmother : Oh hush you, you just haven’t found the right man . Why is everyone saying that ? Meeting the perfect man will change my opinion on kids ? How ? Why can’t elders respect my point of views and opinions, and why do thy have to tell me that I change my mind ?
Trying to unpack the logic. How does having, or for that matter not having, children equate to having a fulfilling life! What is so special about her personal choice and how is it more special or exemplary than a person who has children or who adopts? What if she wanted to have children but could not; would she be unable to find fulfilment because her choice was taken from her. What should be important to society, and to her, is that she has the ability to make a choice. Her actual choice is her business and hers alone and of no relevance to anyone else. To me she kind of sounds like she is confusing selfishness with self-fulfilment by the approach she took.
I’m 50 now, and am so glad I ‘chose’ not to have children (even when I was married and my husband wasn’t fussed either). When we divorced, I learnt to live alone with my dog and became very independent, and worked from home. I now run a successful business – which I love! I’m content, and happy. I thought children’s games (especially boys article games) were far too violent 25 years ago – but now – the graphic content of them is astounding. Yet many parents are unaware of the content of them and let their kids play them. I’d hate my son to be fed a diet of violence and go an imitate the games they see and think it’s ok to act that way. I gave my life thought and I’m glad I did. I adopted an older greyhound who is like a child to me and I can continue to adopt dogs for the rest of my life. I saw many parents stressed out having to work so hard to make ends meet. Life holds no guarantees that you’ll get a healthy, well adjusted child. Not these days with so much to worry about anyway…..
I knew as a teenager I never wanted kids. Luckily, I was in a family that didn’t try to pressure me about it, but it’s still the number one question I get to this day. People don’t ask about my career or my time in the military, they ask why I chose not to have kids. Am I unable to? Am I weird? No. I just don’t want or like them. Gasp. You should see the shock on people’s faces when I say that. And if the time ever comes that I do want a child or to have a family, I’ll adopt. I think it’s selfish to bring more children into a world where there’s so many unwanted kids and teenagers and an already so overpopulated planet we can barely sustain the life we have on it already.
I am unsure if I want children. The thought of pregnancy freaks me out and if I were to have children, I would 100% adopt. I have heard people say on these articles that if you aren’t sure you want children, don’t do it. But then you tell adults and they are all like “You might change your mind.” But just because you were born, does not mean you are worthless, we all have a purpose here, you just have to find it.
While this lady’s husband might never be asked about ‘his kids’, I (single male) get approached all the time by married women looking to set me up with one of their single friends. They can’t believe anyone would want to stay single and not have kids. I’ve always been reserved about the whole marriage game that society so heavily values and pushes us toward, and put more value on the freedom I’ve had to achieve personal goals that did not include marriage and raising kids. I’m satisfied with my decision.
1:32 women are choosing childless largely because it’s a tough world and you don’t have the freedom for having children. The poor will inherit earth as the middle class just slaves and is bounded by bills and hourly job needs. The rich have lots of kids though, since they have all the freedom. So Choice is really not so much real. It’s already predetermined.
I’d rather regret never having children than bringing a child into the world I don’t want, can’t be there for, or god forbid hate. It’s narcissistic to put so much pressure on having biological children under the premis of ‘You’ll never feel true love until you have a baby.’ You can’t feel true love for something or someone that doesn’t share your dna code?? Wow… I feel true love for my pets. My family. My friends. No it isnt different. They love me for being me, they’re there for me, because I exist. That is unconditional love. If you bring a new life into the world that you’re not prepared to love, to sacrifice your body, your friends, your social life for, if you’re not prepared to give up who you were, or are currently as a person, then you’re not prepared to have a baby. And if you decide to never have kids, get your tubes tied maybe, the whole ‘NEVER have kids’ premis is false. You CAN still have children, have your eggs frozen first, you could hire a surrogate late with your partner, or even adopt. Until that day, or if that day never arrives, then continue to be that world class, cool Auntie.
It is interesting the part she mentions about how many women are waiting longer to have children & it makes perfect sense. Firstly, we live way longer lives now. Secondly, with the advent of birth control women are able to better control when they want to have a child & can put it off so that they can work on their career, education or just personal development. My sister in law waited until she finished her degrees, got married, obtained a six figure income job & then had two children in her late 30’s. People wait longer for kids, for marriage, studies are even showing people are now losing their virginity at a later age than in the past. I suppose as human being live longer, healthier lives there will (hopefully) be a little extra time for everything.
perfectly valid reasons by the way! They are way too expensive but the main reason I choose to not have kids is that I don’t want to say or do the wrong thing and have them effected by that. So it’s a bit selfish but selfless too. pedophobia is what it’s called I think. But also I don’t want them to experience poverty, sickness disease, corrupt society, violence of other people, disability, depression, fear, worry, doubt and other troubling emotions. I don’t think I have the right skills temperance, personality, tolerance other other beneficial traits to help them with any of that. I’m happier without responsibility or teaching them them what little I know. Lets just face it they are messy, noisy, they misbehave, don’t pay attention or don’t listen. My kid would be just as stubborn as I am and I don’t want that hassle either. Also one less person polluting with their waste, and one less person in the world, which lets all admit that we are overpopulated ( 8 billion is way too many people) . I don’t hate kids, I just don’t want to be around them or have any of my own. But they are the future of our humanity. Less drama, less stress and obligation, for me and them. It’s called boundaries and knowing ones own limitations. I’m 38 and perfectly fine without children, continuing my views and current lifestyle. I’d rather have dogs or cats
My wife & I are 46 & childless, yet we still have arseholes bugging us about having kids, which gives me the shits & made me end friendships. There was a time when couples over 35 weren’t asked about having kids. Unfortunately, thanks to old parents being normalised (And young parents being marginalised) Older couples now get harassed & it pisses me off!
The reason why I don’t want kids is that I don’t have the right mindset to give them the nurture and care they want. I value my freedom and my freetime A LOT, something that will barely exist when children come to the picture and people will judge me if I value my freetime and my freedom more than my own children. I have hardtime living by myself, if I can’t take care of myself how can I take of a child and before you saying getting a partner or having family help will have well my family can’t baby me forever especially since my parents aren’t going to live forever and my siblings have their own lives and letting my partner do all of the childrearing is just bad parenting in my opinion. And I know this sounds selfish but if a child came to me may it be through pregnancy or some foundling, I would not keep it and refuse to take care of it nor let that child have any contact with me if I give it up for adoption as the only way a child comes under my care if it is forced upon me which means it was NOT MY CHOICE TO HAVE THEM. I don’t want to be forced into motherhood at all! They are better off with families who actually love them! The only thing they are getting from me is medical history and potential families members who might be still interested in meeting them but other than that they are not going to get any familial affection from me, maybe friendship at best. The only exception might be my potential nieces and nephews if something happened to my siblings and my in-laws but that is it.
Antinatalism is the first step. I salute you – especially women, given the history of the West and its brutality toward women – for standing up to this unethical, immoral push to bring more suffering into being. I waver on whether or not post-humanism is the way. Consciousness may be the most horrible thing that has ever happened. If it could exist in some kind of homeostasis, where the most egregious suffering it could experience is something like curiosity… then that might fix the asymmetry between suffering and well-being.
I’m obviously not a woman, but can’t be the only PERSON who didn’t ever want children for certain reasons. As a matter of fact, I have read comments on this article that stated as such. 1. I am now 44 and have NEVER wanted children because…. 2. I don’t like children because.. 3. Their whiny little voices that they have no control over simply because they are young. 4. I remember what my sister and I were like during puberty..yeah, no thank you. 5. I like quiet and children who are just being children are by nature far from quiet. Just a few of the reasons that I’m sure childless women share with me.
There are to many kids in the world! And are starving to death and have no parents. We should rather stop having kids or adopt them and make the world a better place! Countries will then be forced to take in more immigrants that live in poor countries to hold up the economy and take care of the growing old population. This would be the ideal situation for the world and the environment.
All things are ephemeral. The “…but who will remember yooooooooou!” people are amusing. When you are dead, it will not matter to you. Even those who have kids will soon be forgotten. You remember your grandparents. Maybe you remember your great grandparents; some of them anyway. Perhaps you know the names of your great-great grandparents. Or just one of them, as I do. I suppose if you cared you could find out more from records, but unless you are one of those rare people with genealogy as a hobby, you wont. You never had any meaningful relationship to them and they no longer matter to you. They are just faceless contributions to your genetic lineage. As you will be to your decedents. Also, while the pattern of your DNA may be unique to you, the various sequences it contains are repeated and scattered throughout all of humanity and other living things. They’re not unique to you, and unless they’re completely broken, not disappearing anytime soon. If it is important to you to be remembered after you are dead, breeding is not the way to go. Make something people will still be reading, perusal, or admiring centuries for now. Go into politics. Create a religion. Do science. Start an unusually successful business or create a far reaching product. Otherwise, in five generations or less, you’ll be just as forgotten as almost every other thing that ever lived.** Even then, you’ll only be remembered all long as humanity exists and stays relatively stable. Something which is neither guaranteed or even likely.
It’s important to note that: 1) The world at the moment is stuck in survival mode, scarcity & obsolete oppressive hierarchical systems such as paying for electricity – when Tesla invented technologies sooooooo long ago that would generate power & create cheaper or even free supplies of energy to homes but of course that doesn’t make the elites richer. 2) They’ve also succeeded in dividing the family unit (and traumatising the child in it’s early life) by taxing the other half of the population – emancipated women who today are expected to work and have kids simultaneously without appropriate logistic support such as adjoining crèches in their workplaces, etc… Most of them can;t afford to stay home when they have kids, even if they wanted to and they need to ensure they get some pension in the old days. Back in the tribal days, there was no independence (splitting off from a tribe equaled death, fair enough) BUT there was a whole village to help raise a child. Today? The mother is barely there because of the hierarchical / patriarchal oppressive system. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WANTS TO HAVE CHILDREN IN SUCH CONDITIONS ON THE PLANET ??! The 1% in that sense is succeeding in reducing the world population solely by discouraging anyone who does the math from the undertaking in the first place.
“You’ll change your mind.” “You just got to find the right person.” “You’ll want the company of your children, when you get old, so that you don’t become lonely.” I’ve heard these so many times. I have anthrophobia, meeting the ‘right person’ is impossible. I’ve felt this way since I was 8. It’s been 17 years, and still the same. If I become a lonely old woman, I can go volunteer for a hospital or something. Does having a kid solve these problems? Yes, but you don’t have kids to solve the problems in your life. Doing so is quite selfish.
I don’t really want kids but if I was to become successful at a young age I would like to care for orphans because I dont believe that putting a child into this world with no future and that is already over populated is a good idea but these orphans are already here . Also I prefer to be alone as of right now I can’t imagine motherhood because I have a lot of plans and I don’t see a child fitting into that neither do I need a child to feel happy because I’m not a family person but all my relatives tell me to get pregnant because it’s usual in my family to have a child between 18-20 and my family trying to push me into this is splitting us more and more
Few generations ago, when the population was about 1 or 2 billion,life was moving at a slow pace . so, they used to have bunch of kids to entertain themselves. Some time later, that generation opted for only two kids with respect to the then pace of life. Now, it’s about time not to have kids, because of the fast pace of life . And also, it’s also better not to stress yourself and your kids by bringing them into this cold world.It’s only for few years in your life that you urge to have kids. If you can overcome that age, then you can begin to enjoy retirement life few decades earlier, rather than work most of your life and wait for your kids to grow certain age when they move on with their lives. and then you retire to relax. Kids are for people who do not have hobbies in life or who are not talented enough to get a life for themselves.I am happy that my son is not born into this cold world. I work just enough to stay mentally and physically healthy and feel like I already begin my retirement. I am 40 years old and got vasectomy 5 years ago, that’s the greatest favor I did to my unborn kids, who would have gone through similar BS I undergone, making my parents regret with my miseries. At the end of life, you’ll be wise enough to say that it’s not worth it. Just discover yourself, get a life. Kids are for losers who cannot manage their instincts, emotions.
Of course forget about all the thousands or millions of kids needing a home or parents, we must have our own kids —–we are so damn awesome!! We have convinced ourselves we are so unique that we need copies of ourselves for our lives to mean something. If passing our genes to our offspring is the goal, then donating them to some organisation for others would solve it, but it seems women (mostly or more than men, want to have their own kids, the ACT of birthing someone is the point, it seems, like all other animals women were designed for it and don’t feel complete until they do (mostly), and men are almost universally unable to resist a woman/female in heat. As a man, I have never gone to bed with a woman thinking or hoping she gets pregnant…. and I bet most women don’t either, most of humanity is an accident, a surprise pregnancy.
My long term bf jokes that raising a child costs as much as buying a house. Id like to have possiblity one child but if I don’t he supports that decision as well. At the end of the day we love each other and it’s all we want as well as dogs. The earth is much overpopulated it’s a good thing that women and couples chose to not have kids.
Elizabeth didn’t choose to be unmarried and childless. She simply didn’t have options for a man to marry to and have children with. Being a monarch at that time, she could only marry another monarch, whereas a man monarch could marry literally any woman with no risk to his reputation or status, therefore her pool of potential husbands was very very limited. I don’t think she is a good example to justify an idea that a woman is happy being childless.
I talked my wife into having a kid and she is glad that I did. My daughter is 17 now. She is so much fun. We have had epic pillow fights. She is in her third year of high school now. She just took the S.A.T. and scored in the 99th percentile. She appears to be gifted at math and creative writing. I am a proud dad and I enjoy bragging about it. I did not have a happy childhood myself and worried that I would be abusive like my father. But I am not my father. My daughter loves me very much and I love to hear her say “daddy”. If you worry that you might not be a good parent I want to remind you that all the tomorrow’s do not have to be the same as the days before them.
I’m not good with babies and small kids. Never want to go through pregnancy. I want my tubes cut idc if I’m only 19. I don’t want to do that and everyone makes it feel like it’s a requirement and all I am meant to do as a woman is give birth. Then pregnant women get dehumanized and everyone only cares about the baby and never her.
Why is it that women decide to remain childless … I think that though there are real cases of women who do not want children, the reasons may lay in the risk of associating with men and the uncertainty of marital relationships in terms of dependability, fidelity, material and financial support and proper treatment by males as children do require many of these things and women who bring them to life and raise them as well.
I have no issue if a woman want to be childless. I think in your case it was a responsible decision because you were married at age 42, by the time you have a child you would be 43-44. Do you really want to be starting a family at that age. I know I didn’t. I think what concerns me more is the number of women who want to have a child and they decide to go it alone. My personal feelings on this are that this is quite selfish and narcissistic. Every child deserves a mother and a father and when women decide to go down this path its not fair on the child. Which brings me to my next point. If its not to fulflill something missing in your life why are so many women choosing this option, to be single and have children.
Most people dont know the other possibilities that come with being a human like self realization,transcending body -mind so they go with their instinctual cravings which are pre program in their biology which is to reproduce .these group of women in the article have the urge of wanting something more and they are brave enough to make this decision but the sad part is they don’t know how to direct their energies inward and dive deep with so they will succub to boredom in their old age
I am almost 60. I have a child. Most the people I know that chose to remain child free are starting to confide in me they think they may have missed something. Even a couple of my male friends. One just told me the other day wrt a woman he dated for a decade over a decade ago, and would not marry and have a child with- I think I made a mistake. Most of us who raised children now have wonderful adults that are so gratifying and fun to be around and so many fun memories to share. I do think there are some people that just are not met to have kids, but they are in the minority. If you are young making these decisions, talk with some childless old women IRL that will be straight with you, look at their life and think, is this what I want ? If it is great. But don’t go by some youtube article/talk given by some person you font know whos motivations you aldo font know.
Not a lot of women admit the truth when they hit 40s+… that’s when the longing for something missing in life that wealth or amount of traveling cant replaced…the happiness I got when I had my daughter, 2yrs ago, was the most happiest of my life… there’s this emotion that even words couldn’t explained… anyhow, there’s 2 options go old in a retirement that no one will visit you or get old and have kids and grandkids who you will leave behind knowing that parts of you will still live on… it’s your choice to find but don’t get fooled by speeches and media because that’s their decision and encouraging more people to follow will make them feel not alone but deep inside them — they know a wrong decision was made and time was lost. I’m here to encourage but it’s your life so think twice..
I agree. Women, choose yourselves what you desire to do. You know best! The pill was a blessing for sure! However, it is very burdened women that are saying they don’t want kids. Burden = masculine. The more masculine you are, the less you desire motherhood. The more feminine you are, the more you will desire a baby. But again, I agree that women should not be forced to have any kids if they do not want to. Those kids will suffer if they come into a “family” not desired. Work rather on continuously unburdening yourself. Thank me later. And to think that people used to worry about population control ! 😂😂 it all happens very naturally from the sound of these comments 😉