Silent treatment is not the right way to handle a situation, especially when done out of spite or to punish the partner. It creates an unequal power dynamic and can lead to fear and doubt, making the receiving end do whatever they must to prevent it from happening again. To deal with silent treatment with dignity, it is important to not escalate things, be calm and patient, and not respond in anger, patronizing, or condescending.
One common sign of silent treatment is withdrawal, where the person withdraws from conversations, social activities, and communication with their partner. They may also avoid eye contact and refuse to acknowledge their presence. Instead, they give their partner space to think and allow them to soften their feelings. Once the amygdala hijack that initiated the silent treatment has subsided, it is time for ice melt.
Alternatives to giving or receiving silent treatment in marriage include talking to your wife when they are both calm to develop strategies to resolve conflict in a more productive manner. Being compassionate with yourself and reminding yourself that you are not a “bad” person is crucial when dealing with silent treatment.
In conclusion, silent treatment is an ineffective way to communicate and is not helpful in resolving conflicts. It is essential to communicate openly and respectfully with your spouse to avoid further abuse and maintain a healthy relationship.
📹 My Spouse Gives Me The Silent Treatment- ASK DR. CLARKE
Dr. David Clarke answers a question from a podcast listener who asked what to do if their spouse is giving them the silent …
What is emotional abandonment in marriage?
Kevin studied philosophy and psychology. Emotional abandonment is when your spouse or partner stops caring about you. We all need to feel loved, wanted, and appreciated.
What happens when you don t react to narcissist silent treatment?
Your narcissist will be angry if you act like nothing is going on and go about your day. They want a reaction, so they’re giving you the silent treatment. If you don’t react, they get frustrated.
What does a narcissist want you to do during the silent treatment?
To punish you: Punishment can be used to stop bad behavior. For a timeout: Taking a timeout from a heated argument is often a good idea. But people with NPD may use timeouts to wait for the other person to calm down. Relational aggression: A person may use the silent treatment to harm or threaten you. The silent treatment is used to get you to do something or stop a behavior they don’t like. Narcissists may use power tactics to get what they want. Disengaging and then talking can be healthy. But it can become unhealthy when someone doesn’t try to resolve the conflict. Narcissism is a spectrum. Narcissists often think they’re better than others. If you’ve met someone with NPD, they may be very self-important and want a lot of admiration.
Is silent treatment a red flag?
If someone lies, is manipulative, or gives you the silent treatment during a conflict, it’s a red flag in a relationship. These red flags may seem logical, but it’s not always easy to recognize them in your own relationship or when you’re dating someone. What are red flags? Psychologist Judith Klenter says a red flag is a warning signal. A red flag is when someone doesn’t suit you. This could be someone who talks about their ex on the first date. Are these red flags the same for everyone? Yes and no, Judith says. “Some red flags are universal. Think violent behavior, jealousy, and control. Anything that could lead to abuse or manipulation is a red flag. One person’s red flag may not be another’s. In a monogamous relationship, it’s a red flag if your partner is on a dating app. In a polyamorous relationship, you may have agreed to this. Also interesting: How to Meet Your Relationship Needs.
How to deal with silence in marriage?
2. Tell your silent spouse you want to talk. Misunderstandings and assumptions happen in marriages, hurting couples. They may think silence is peaceful, but it’s actually damaging your relationship.
3. Listen, not just talk. Communication is a two-way street. Communication is a two-way street. Listening is as important as talking when you want to get your silent spouse to talk. If they think you just want them to talk so you can give them a piece of your mind, they’ll probably shut up. Listening well is important for communication.
4. Be kind when your spouse talks to you. Don’t say “It’s about time” or “You figured out how to talk after all!” Say “thank you.” Sarcasm can ruin communication, so stop it.
How do you respond to silent treatment?
After the silent treatment, it’s best to be straightforward and avoid emotional issues. The silent treatment means one or both people need space to sort things out. Hey, you’re not responding to me. I don’t know why, but I’d like to know. When I stop talking to someone, it means I’m angry, upset, or sad. If you don’t want to talk or need space, I understand. I’m sorry you’re silent. Please let me know. Let’s talk next week. “I can’t continue this relationship if you keep shutting me out.” If you’re the one giving the cold shoulder, start a conversation like this:
What is the miserable husband syndrome?
Miserable Husband Syndrome is when a man gets angry, frustrated, and anxious because he’s losing testosterone. This can be caused by aging, certain medications, or too much stress.
What is the walk away wife syndrome?
What to do if you think your spouse might leave. Walkaway wife syndrome is more than just a phase. It’s the end of the relationship. Your wife has checked out. What can you do when your wife no longer loves you? Can you resolve your issues, or is it too late? Think about yourself. Why do you want to save your marriage? You may have checked out too. Do you still love each other? Respect? Are you committed? Or is it just a convenience? Maybe you’ve been afraid to let it go. Know your reasons. If you still love and commit to each other, you’ll need to work at it. If not, it’s time to move on. Don’t waste your time.
Talk honestly. Don’t beg. You missed your chance. Just listen. Stop justifying yourself. Think about what she says from her point of view, even if you disagree. You’re at a crossroads. You may feel betrayed, but she has felt abandoned by you for a long time. If you want to save your marriage, don’t make her feel worse. Just. Listen.
Does silent treatment work in a marriage?
Many couples know that silence isn’t always the best solution after a disagreement. Good communication fixes problems and builds trust, while silence can hurt relationships.
Some partners punish others with quiet displeasure, appearing aloof and emotionally unavailable. Research shows that this passive-aggressive approach to conflict is bad. Silence can ruin a relationship. Christine E. Rittenour et al. studied the silent treatment in families. They found that it hurts relationships. In the study, adult children said that their parents’ silent treatment made them feel bad about themselves and unhappy with their parents. But the implications are much wider.
How do you outsmart a narcissist silent treatment?
There are eight ways to deal with a narcissist’s silent treatment: arm yourself with information and understanding. … Don’t let them use you. … Stay safe first. … Don’t fall for tricks. … Set boundaries. … Take care of your emotional well-being. … Ask for help. What is Narcissistic Silent Treatment? Common Signs Why They Use Silent Treatment? Impacts of Silent Treatment Tips for Coping When to Seek Help?When to Seek Help?; My Experience; Additional Resources; Infographics; Maggie Holland helps women with anxiety, panic, and mental health issues during pregnancy. Dr. Saleh is an experienced physician and a leading medical journalist. He has helped raise awareness and reduce stigma about mental health disorders on evidence-based mental health sites.
Is silent treatment narcissistic?
People with narcissistic personality disorder often use the silent treatment to control you by not talking to you. The silent treatment is emotional abuse. This makes you feel bad.
Research from 2022 shows that the silent treatment is used for five reasons:
What type of person gives the silent treatment?
Speak up. The silent treatment is when you don’t talk to someone during a conflict. People with abusive tendencies sometimes use the silent treatment to shame, punish, or manipulate. Sometimes people who don’t mean to hurt others use the silent treatment when they’re overwhelmed, can’t deal with conflict, or can’t express painful feelings. How you handle the silent treatment depends on who’s doing it and why. If you’re giving someone the silent treatment, get mental health support to improve your conflict resolution and communication skills.
📹 Staying strong during the silent treatment | 3 TIPS to WIN | How to deal with the silent treatment
Staying strong during the silent treatment can be hard. You want to discuss your concerns, talk with each other, and have things …
Been dealing with this for a long long time. Years. My husband is my pastor and his friends (other pastors) plus others think he’s a good man. I well not go into everything but I am now doing things for ME and I don’t care what he thinks. I need to get healthy because I know if he hasn’t changed after 43 yrs of marriage, he will never change.
Often he will do it until You apologize. You apologize because his silence has caused you so much anxiety, you think you must have done something to cause him to be so angry. It’s not normal ever! What power your apology gives to the narc! ” Look at me! I treat her like dirt and she apologizes! I can do whatever I want!”
My husband always says he’s not ignoring me he just doesn’t know what to say. The longest he’s went was 10 days. He refuses to say he does the silent treatment as a punishment. He says he just don’t like confrontation. Although it feels like a punishment to me. But it does make me doubt whether it’s on purpose or not. Is he just gaslighting me?
My husband has done this to me for years when he does not get his way. He has been cussing at me and stopped talking to me for a whole day because I told him to not use that language with me. I’m his wife. I started talking to him and he acts like nothing happened every time. I told my pastor and he stated the only reason for divorce is if they leave you or if there is infidelity there’s none of those things. I left him a year ago and came back. I don’t want to disobey God I have 2 kids perusal me and I just pretend like I’m ok even tough I feel like I’m choking
Mine did this a lot and it’s cruel. He would bellow at me and even use headphones. If he would repeat the silent treatment every time I tried to bring up hard issues. This is what he did when separating from me. Didn’t even discuss it after 10yrs together, started speaking to another woman 2 weeks later…so painful.
There are several comments on one part of the article being confusing and I apologize for that. Thank you for everyone that asked for clarification or to point out how it could be confusing. I hope this clears it up! You don’t want to acknowledge how their silent treatment is affecting you because this is exactly what they want – to know that what they are doing is upsetting you. To give the silent treatment back will just lead to butting of heads and a power struggle which will go nowhere positive. The best approach is to go about your day as normal. Talk to them even if you feel like you are talking to a wall. The narcissist stops the silent treatment when they feel it no longer benefits them. What that is may not be known but keep focused on living your life and hopefully the narcissist will get past this punishment tactic. If they don’t, you need to consider whether remaining in a relationship with them is worth your mental well-being.
I love getting the silent treatment. I consider it as a gift. It’s a chance to get peace and quiet. Carry on like you are unbothered. Do you really need to keep hearing from them? Return their gift with your low energy. Enjoy the performance from a distance. Chat up a friend, play music and dance to it, take a bath, finish that book. Enjoy it. It’s an opportunity to do you.
I feel so sorry for all those who are at present enduring this cruel and childish form of abuse. I suffered through the whole gamut of narcissistic abuse, including this, for exactly forty years! All those internal battles with myself and the constant “should I stay, should I leave” struggle manifested itself physically. After 25 years, I developed a scoliosis of the spine. No one on either side of my family tree has had this disability. It’s amazing how the mind finds a way of websiteling great pain and turmoil. I had no idea about NPD until after he left. I had begun living my life separate to him, basically keeping my self to myself. His answer to not having control of me was to look up an old girlfriend he knew before me. Don’t know how long he was grooming her, but I called him out, after seeing it in his eyes. I then told him to leave and we divorced. Five years now and only now do I feel like me again. It’s great to feel totally free and at peace.
Todays Day 7 of receiving the Silent Treatment from my husband. After 8 years I now think Ok how long will this one last?! It used to break me down so badly until the day I realized he was unhappy with himself!!! Im not perfect but I am definitely not the issue here. His issues go wayyyyyy back! I enjoy this time because I focus on myself and my kiddos! It doesn’t bother me anymore and I stay away from him and go about my life! I refuse to let his nonsense bring me down! Not anymore buddy!
The discard or silent treatment from the narcissist is the wonderful moment where you wake up out of the dream that you’re in and realize that this person lives in another reality that you will never know about and you live in a reality they will never know about. Consider the silent treatment the blessing and your ticket to walk. Any person that’s abusing you emotionally or physically —you should leave. If you’re staying, you need to get psychological help yourself and can only blame yourself for the pain and suffering that you’re experiencing.
The silent treatment was his main tool. I had zero knowledge of narcissism and was bewildered by what was going on. He never raised his voice or hit me, yet managed to annihilate me and reduce me to ash simply by remaining silent. Yet, just like things that are reduced to ash I sprouted one small stem and inch by inch built my life back up from there. Thank you for education such as yours. I hope this saves many people in years to come by not wasting their precious lives on an investment with no return.
What you do? You STAY SILENT. They always come running back. It may take months but they do and they pretend like nothing happened. When they knock on your door, you treat them with disguist like give them a look of “euw” and if they ask if anythings wrong, you reply: “Everythings fine” That way YOU have the upper hand. They’ll get nervous bc they can treat others this way but not take it themselves. They get NERVOUS, scared of losing you but you keep at it and now YOU’RE top dog.
My husband is avoidant and has narcissistic traits, silent treatment is his favorite. Once I got so fed up that I’d been ignoring him for more than a week – no eye contact, no affection, no talking… He ended up breaking down and promising to improve. He tries to give me a silent treatment now, but as long as I don’t react, usually he is the one who approaches me with apology a couple of hours later
I disagree slightly. If the Narcisst gives the silent treatment I would do the same to let it blow over until narccist changes his mind to talk again. If not then so be it! At least that is in my books. Apologize for what if one hasn’t done nothing! I wouldn’t even wish Narcisst goodbye or say to “Have a nice life”
I have a sister who is a ex junkie. If you confront her about anything even soooo small she will give you the silent treatment. I find it very funny. The next day I make conversations with her to piss her off and I see how mad she gets at my small talk. Shes in her mid 30s and acts 16. Her brain is super fried from drug abuse. I hate her soo much but I loved seeing her get mad at my small talk. She can see that it doesn’t work on me lol
My live in boyfriend of one year. Gives me the silent treatment. This usually happens if o get a text or call from an ex. Even though I’m still friends with my ex’s. This happens even if I don’t respond to calls or texts. He blames me for my ex reaching out even though I have no control over it. He is 52 never married no kids. I’m 58 was married for 23yearswith 4 adult children
I am the one who is being silent… He hurt my feelings really bad 2 days ago, and he never wants to talk about it. So I stopped talking about it because I didn’t want it to be a big fight. I still want him to know that I was hurt though, I’m still sending loving little reels to let him know I’m not planning an escape route. I just feel like he doesn’t care. So why keep talking? Even when I try to wait until a better time. It’s almost never a good time. Or he’ll double down in some fights, so I end up feeling worse! But I’m just hurting myself with this. He seems unaffected by my silence, I don’t know what to do. It feels like I’m always asking to be treated nicely and it works for like a week and then he’s back to childish and hurtful “jokes”. We’re both early 20’s, and it’ll be 7 years in July, We began a long-distance relationship last year due to me giving school another try. Am I wrong for being silent this long? I just don’t want to open up again and he tells me I’m overreacting… IT HURTS SO BAD WHEN HE SAYS THAT SHIT!!
I confronted him about not contributing financially or lifting a finger in the home he insulted me stormed out of the home then came back 2 hours later saying he waited in the garden for 2 hours slept on the sofa next morning stormed out without saying a word to me or the kids haven’t heard from him since it’s been almost 4 days now