Child marriage is a widespread issue that affects up to 10 million girls worldwide, with many coming from impoverished nations. The UN calls for global action to end this human rights violation, as one in every five girls is formally married or in an informal union before reaching age 18. Early marriage compromises a child’s development and can lead to poverty, undermining their prospects and potential.
In the US, Missouri has the most lenient law allowing 15-year-olds to marry, with only one parent’s signature required. However, child marriage rates are slowly falling, with rates of child marriage before age 15 dropping from 11% in 2000 to 5% in 2021. This systematically disempowers girls by robbing them of a chance to learn, grow, and fully realize their potential.
As of April 2024, 12 states have banned underage marriages, with no exceptions. Child marriage is defined as any marriage where at least one party is under the age of 18, and it significantly impacts a girl’s ability to continue her education.
The Girls Not Brides Theory of Change highlights the range and combination of approaches needed to address child marriage, emphasizing the role everyone has to play to end it. As of April 2024, 12 states have banned underage marriages, with no exceptions.
Furthermore, 10 states allow children younger than 16 to get married with judicial approval, while four will drop this requirement. A child marriage is considered a form of forced marriage if one or both parties have not expressed full, free, and informed consent.
📹 How I Overcame Being A Child Bride!
Welcome back to Unfiltered Stories! Ashley Pereira will share her life story with us today. Ashley was raised in a religious …
Can 10 year olds get married in California?
The minimum age to marry varies by state. Seven states have no minimum age. UNICEF USA is working with Unchained at Last to end child marriage in the United States. Eleven U.S. states have banned marriage before 18 with no exceptions. California could be next.
Ask your elected officials to end child marriage with no exceptions. Child marriage violates children’s rights. Janette was 14 and in ninth grade in Southern California when she met her future husband, who was 21. Her mom let him sleep on the couch. I wondered why he was there. Next thing I know, I’m at his place, said Janette, now an activist working to end child marriage. I know now. She got me.
Can I marry a girl 10 years younger than me?
There’s no law against marrying someone with a ten-year age difference. It’s fine to marry someone ten years younger than you if she’s okay with it and you’re both on board.
Which king married a 13 year old?
Henry Bolingbroke (age 13; later King Henry IV of England) married Mary de Bohun (age 10/11) in 1380. In January 1382, Richard II of England married Anne of Bohemia. John, Count of Nevers married Margaret of Bavaria (21/22) in April 1385. This article lists child brides and husbands. Some are notable or historically significant.
List Antiquity Tutankhamun was married to his half-sister Ankhesenamun when he was about nine. The future Emperor Shōmu (aged about 16) was married to Asukabe-hime (aged 16) around 717.
What happens to a child bride?
Early marriage hurts girls. Child marriage stops her childhood. Girls are forced into adulthood too soon. Child brides are often denied their rights to health, education, safety, and participation. Also, arranged marriages often mean girls marry older men. Girls who marry young are less likely to stay in school, which has long-lasting economic consequences. They are often isolated. They are at higher risk of violence. Child brides are also at greater risk of complications during pregnancy and childbirth, contracting HIV/AIDS, and suffering domestic violence. At 13, Aisha was forced to marry a man 20 years her senior. She is now a mother of two. We lived together, but we didn’t get along because he was older.
Who is the youngest child bride in history?
Berengaria of Castile married Conrad II, Duke of Swabia, when she was about 8. The marriage was never consummated because she was too young. After Conrad’s death in 1196, Berengaria married her first cousin Alfonso IX of León in 1197, when she was about 17 or 18. The Pope annulled the marriage in 1204 because of consanguinity. Matilda of Saxony was married to Geoffrey of Perche in 1189. Theresa of Portugal married Alfonso IX of León in 1191.
Is it OK to marry a girl 20 years younger?
Doing the Right Thing. If you’re an older man considering marrying someone much younger, you should be aware of the consequences of your actions. Make sure you’re not doing this for the wrong reasons. It usually ends in hurt and heartbreak. Get help from a therapist before you make any decisions.
Counseling before marriage is always helpful. If you’re in Palo Alto, schedule an appointment. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be!
Which king married his own daughter?
Mughal ruler Shah Jahan married his daughter. Mughal King Shah Jahan married his daughter Jahanara after Mumtaz’s death because she looked like Mumtaz. Mumtaz died on June 17, 1631, while giving birth to Shah Jahan’s 14th child.
Can a 14 year old get married in Texas?
You must be at least 18 to marry. You must be 18 to marry. If you’re between 16 and 18, you need parental consent or a court order to marry. If you’re under 16, you need a court order to marry.
📹 Breaking the Cycle of Child Marriages: Zarif Sahin at TEDxRockCreekPark
At what age is a girl physically and mentally old enough to be married? Every year, millions of girls under the age of 18 become …
This absolutely makes my blood boil. 31 yrs ago I was a single, 29 yr old youth pastor for 2 years. I was VERY careful in how I conducted myself with the kids that were entrusted to me. I cannot get my head around how a man in his 20’s could do something like this. I saw the kids in my youthgroup as just that; CHILDREN who needed to be protected and guided, not preyed upon.
When I was 14 I started dating a 20 years old. When he found out I was leaving the country with my family and that he couldn’t leave with me he tried to get me pregnant every single day at the age of 15. Now I’m 21 and see things more clearly. It’s hard to live having to convince yourself that none of that was you fault, and you didn’t want this to happen to you, but couldn’t stop it either. It’s also hard to forgive your parents for letting all happen.
Yeah, me too. I was married to a man who was 24 when I was 16. We stayed married for 28 years…. he left me when I could no longer serve him because I was critically ill for a prolonged period of time and as he put it… the illness made me unattractive to him. After he left my morale went up and I completely recovered. I then married the most amazing man I’ve ever known. Looking back on all of it, I realize that 16 is FAR, FAR too young to ever make a life choice like this…. the mental resources for selecting a lifelong partner haven’t been developed yet.
Life is not easy, but having no one next to you to guide you is wicked. The truth is they pushed their daughter to be with whom they chose, they forgot she was way to young, when things turn bad they blamed her… Dispite all, you are a strong woman, even all the hardship and trouble … you did it !
Sighhhhh..what a victorious woman- WOW. Just seems like this story should be 30 years old- the oversight and ignorance of adults- thankfully the dad has repented for his passivity. Allowing a young man to move in while having a beautiful young daughter???? Madness. What a way to overcome such a tragedy and teach the world. Mankind is so dreadfully slow to learn. Unreal. Thank you incredible woman for sharing and God bless you for forgiving your mom, for moving ONWARD. 🤍🤍🤍🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
a 14 year old having a crush on an adult figure in their life is normal. When I was 13 or 14, my two best friends and I were in climbing courses and we all had a crush on the instructor. He was very good at climbing and he was super nice and fun and could explain well and genuinely cared about his group. We would giggle and fawn over him and be embarrassing teens and get all giddy when he helped us and wanted to get super good at climbing to impress him. And that’s normal. That is normal, innocent young kids. It’s normal that kids have their first crushes on a person like that, because they are supposed to be safe. Nothing is supposed to come from that. Did my climbing teacher know that some of the girls in his group had little crushes on him? Probably. But him acting on it would have been the sick thing, not us being normal teens. You did nothing wrong. Your feelings were never wrong. You were groomed and you were taken advantage of but what you felt was always normal. He is the only one who did something incredibly, terribly wrong. Him and your parents, but I mean between you and him.
This is when I have issues with religion. How any parent can put their religion over their own child, setting up the perfect environment for rape and abuse. I would drag fire up from the pits of hell to keep my daughter safe. She just turned 13 and I cannot fathom putting her in those situations. If she got pregnant from a bf her own age,I would support her choices, whatever they were as far as what she wanted to do with that pregnancy. But if I let a 25yr old man into my hiuse, knowing he was abusing my own flesh. Makes me want to vomit. She is stronger than she knows
People who work in the service industry are truly great people and aren’t afraid to tell it like it is. I’m so glad you saw the light even though it was extremely difficult for you. Your ex should be in jail and you didn’t deserve any of this. What an amazing role model for your daughter. Thanks for sharing your story
Pedos are so predictable. They usually find “themselves ” in positions/jobs where they are surrounded by children. It’s so sick and gross. This poor young lady as so many others was completely taken advantage of right under her parents noses. It’s such a sad and unfortunately very common situation in so many homes all over the world. God save and protect the children 🙏
The pastor knew you were underage. That is why he suggested that your parents should give permission for you to marry him so that he wouldn’t go to jail. Your mother is an enabler, an accomplice in a sexual crime. Is there a statute of limitation in a case of statutory rape? The guilty should be held accountable. You are very strong to tell your story to the world. I applaud you. Stay strong. There are Pro Bono attorneys. Consult with them and get child support (retroactive, of course). I’m glad that you have moved forward in life and have found someone who cares for you. You are a survivor! God bless!
I was sexually abused by the surgeon who cured my appendicitis when i was 14. I thought he was interested in my personality or a friendship but no. They are always grooming you and say afterwards thats your fault when you needed affection that you not got by your mother and father, that makes you an easy victim to be blamed on top. This woman ist so beautiful and strong! ❤
I find it so fascinating to hear the moment when she realized her lifestyle was not “normal”. I also feel very happy for her that that one comment from her co worker struck a chord in her enough to make a change and break free. She seems like she really has a lot going for her at this point in her life. An incredible story. Thank you for sharing.
I’m a Pastor, and what you went through is far, far from any acceptable Christian behaviour!!! 😥❤️ I agree with others here that you were groomed in so many ways. My heart is truly breaking for you tonight, and I’m sure that God is weeping, too. Please know that the picture of God you were raised with is not the true picture of the Biblical God. He will always love you and will be with you, no matter what. 🙏❤️🫂
1 week after turning 17 I got married I was 5 months pregnant already My husband is 21 years older than me so …. He was 38 when I turned 17. I had the same mind set as this girl. Because he was my first kiss and the person I slept with I felt I needed to marry him to get right with God. I am still married to him and I’m now 25. Many many things have happened and lots of manipulation has taken place but because I have 4 children with him, i stay. I want to raise my children and I’m homeschooling them. Despite the verbal abuse and the heartache I know that I’m able to care for my children and be home with them. So I take it. If I left I wouldn’t be able to be a stay at home mom with them. I don’t know what the future holds but one thing that I don’t regret is my kids. I think back when I was 16 and I feel the same way. How can a 38 year old man have interest in a 16 year old girl. I had my first ever job that summer and by the end of august he was convincing me he could take care of me. And that I was so beautiful etc. when you are that young and nieve you get swept off your feet easily. I will not let my daughters go down the same path.
You are a beautiful young woman who was the victim of grooming and child abuse. It is gradually coming out how much sexual abuse against children happened/is still happening in churches and amongst Christian religious communities. None of this is your fault. You were let down by the very people you should have been able to trust. I hope you continue to go from strength to strength in your life and that your story helps other young people who are finding themselves in similar situations . Xx
Thank you so much for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you ❤ I’m 36 and have 3 daughters who are 19,17, and 15, and I can’t imagine how difficult your teen years were. I was a teen parent as well but thankfully met an amazing man who is my husband now who was also a teen parent, our oldest was his our middle daughter was mine and we had our youngest daughter together and all three were raised with us with no other parents involved, and to this day I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found him. We will be celebrating our 15 year wedding anniversary on March 29th 2023. You are such a brave person for sharing your story and I can only imagine how many people can learn and gain courage from you ❤
We need more to speak out on this subject. Coming from a similar background I feel like this is to normalized within our community. Then here we are figuring out this is wrong and left to pick up the pieces. Thank you for sharing your story and showing others they are not alone and you can overcome anything. 🙏 ❤❤
Hi I got pregnant at 17teen by someone who was around me since I was sixteen I know I was older but he was abusive and I also felt obliged to marry him I was only 18!at the time I was a young 18 it was 1981 I also have a lovely daughter grown up now and I have lots of animals that I love too I left my abuser when I was around 20it was difficult but I’m glad I did lots of hugs to you and our daughter and doggies💛
It absolutely appalls me that people use my religion to excuse this type of behavior! As a Christian myself I know that this is wrong and that man never should have been a pastor. It’s not my place to decide if a person is saved or not but I really don’t think any of those people were if they were really just ok with a 14 year old girl having a relationship and a child with her 24 year old pastor.
We never let our daughters spend time alone with any men, even our trusted friends. We are conservative Christians and we are very involved in our church. Our family policy is none of us are alone with a person of the opposite sex so that there is not even a hint of possibility for impropriety. Parents need to protect their children from predators. Period. It doesn’t matter if the person seems great at first, we need to keep our eyes open.
THank you for being so brave to talk about this. Something similar happened to me at 13 with my sister’s fiance, a person I looked at as a big brother at that point (he was in his 20’s). Thankfully I was able to distance myself once I realized what was about to happen (R), but it still haunts me to this day. I still question if I did something to lead him to that point, and how I let things go and get that bad. However, as you get older you realize, you were a kid, and no amount of anything you do could ever justify an ADULT in their 20’s+ taking advantage of you like that. I’m so happy that you are living such a great life and you were able to overcome those demons of the past. <3
Your parents did to you what sadly some cocaine dependent parents do to their daughters. They made you available. They turned a blind eye to the possibly of what could become your inevitable future. Only your brother had any wisdom. Only your brother tried to protect you. This behavior from people who proport to be la dee dah church going Christians, just blows my mind.
I was groomed at 13 too by a man 10 years older. My family accepted him too and it’s messed me up for a long time. I had my daughter at 18, he has never been charged although was charged with lots of other sexual offences including minors. I couldn’t bring myself to charge as don’t want my daughter to know how bad he really was. I’m now at university and doing well but do struggle with cptsd after all that happened. It’s only really been this year that I’ve stopped being angry at my parents (especially my mum) for not stopping it. I’m so glad to see you’re doing well 🖤
I am glad you are happy. You deserve to be loved by right person. I am quite shocked that your mom has been on his side allthis time. Who knows what is in her head. Maybe she fancy him more than appropriate and these feelings has made her blind. Anyway, congratulations on your courage and all the best in your life.
Your strength to not bawl through telling your story is mountain moving power. You are so strong. If there is one thing I have learned from my experience in Christ, it is that our ashes, our failures and failures of others, become a fortified tower. God uses the crappiest of things to constitute himself in us to make us stronger and bring us to maturity. Your smile at the end of the article is a testimony of strength. That pastor and your parents in now way represent God and His church. In contrary, it shows us the reality that Satan has usurped many aspects of God’s name and representation, especially within His Church. Thank you for sharing your testimony to help others who, unfortunately, will have to endure such evil.
I have to give this girl all credits for coming out with her struggles. This is lesson for all, specially the parents. It all starts from home. In a dysfunctional home such as hers, stuff like this is bound to happen. Pay attention to children, constantly be in communication with your children. Religion is necessary in everyone’s life but always question. Questioning is the most powerful tool tobring to light truth! If any organization or person rejects your question, it’s time to stay away from them. Undoubtedly this person or organization will bring more harm to you than you can imagine. Keep QUESTIONING!
I stayed in an apartment with 2 of my old brothers and a boy from our church, which was 12 years older than me. My parents weren’t there, I was at school far away and I had 16 years old. That boy never touched me, only looked at me in a way that botherd me. He acted like an older brother, he was a very calm and calculated person. I always had an argue with one of my brothers, and that boy was there to suite me and confort me (with his words, never touched me also). After 1 year, he has got a girlfriend and married with her. I feeled a relief when he has got married. My parents were passive, both of them, and thanks God I’m OK now, but it was very hard to cope alone without parents involved in my life, in very many situations, not only this. I think your parents trusted J and thought that J would treat you just like an older brother…they thought J is a man of God and never touch you in another way, because J was their pastor and they lived upon strong principles and so on. At least your father, didn’t expect J to act like that. It was a huge mistake not to be upon your side everytime and in every situation (both of your parents). Your mom should have been closer to you. I understood that she was ‘closer’ to J, which is a very big mistake from her. I don’t understand your mother, as I don’t understand my mother, also she never apologized to me, when she was wrong with something.
That’s sad this happened to this girl and her parents were at fault here along with this guy And there are people that love god and go to church that make mistakes all the time The fact that she is making articles on what happened can help her heal and inform others she is exceptionally beautiful and unfortunately has to be on guard because she has to many men interested in her so I wish she can make a life through adversity 😊
You’re a beautiful person inside and out. The way you tell your story with grace and compassion for those that you clearly know wronged you shows you’re the Christian person you tried to be when this happened to you. Praying you continue to grow as a wonderful person and your family stays healthy and happy for a long time to come.
Her mother controlled the ENTIRE household. Thank God her father woke up, apologized and is ACTIVELY working on himself. That is what taking accountability for your actions looks like! Her mother siding with the pedophile speaks VOLUMES!!! She controlled her husband and that household with evil intentions
Makes you wonder if her mom had some sort of strange infactuation with her. The fact that she knew and let it keep happening. This poor girl was groomed. My husband and I did youth ministry for years and I can not wrap this around my head. Groomers need to be exposed. Its our job to protect the innocent. Also, what was the dad doing?! He wouldn’t be living in that house with my daughter. Wow.
This is exactly what Jesus talks about in Luke 17:1-3. “Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. So watch yourselves.’” The spiritual, mental, and sexual abuse is unbelievable. I have no words. None of this is your fault. NONE. God weeps with you. This is truly awful.
I hope this didn’t make you lose your faith in God! God is so kind and doesn’t want to control us so he give us free will. It’s like a parent who loves their child so much that you allow them to make their own choices as an adult but sometimes they could be bad choices. In the way, people choose to do evil because they want to. God is not the reason bad things happen! I pray that you can remember that people can pretend they are Christians and not truly be part of the faith. 2 Corinthians 11:14 And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.
Giiiirlll!!! Same! Except I thought I was grown at 15 and wanted to escape my home life circumstances. He was 21. He was just really immature at that time. Now that I’m 46 I genuinely feel for him bcuz after “us” which didn’t last long, (I was forced to marry him 20 days after my 16th birthday bcuz I was pregnant by him from the first time about 6-7 weeks before my 16 birthday 😬) so our marriage didn’t last but 10-11 months. GIRL!!!!! You look AMAZING!!!! I thought you were fresh out your circumstances maybe 21? But math says your 30!!!!! Wow girl! You look beautiful ❤️ I ended up with 7 kids. My last 4 from a long marriage I’m still in. But what I’d gone through at 16 set me off on a course of dysfunction that ultimately led to severe drug abuse by my early 20s I’d had two kids by two men, then got hooked on Crack and lived as a prostitute in an abandoned apt building. But God allowed me to end up in prison 7 months pregnant, no withdrawal issues, only STARVING for a relationship with Him and a great hunger for His Word. I gave birth to son number 3 shackled to a hospital bed in the hospital’s prisoners wing. But God, reformed and transformed me into a new creation! 🙌🏼❤️🙌🏼❤️ I’ve raised 4 kids with my husband of 18 years married; 20 years altogether. That is another miracle story but yeah, I hope to write a book soon! 😃God is good!
With “family” like that; who needs enemies? This is so disturbing. And it resonates with me. I come from a single/”Christian” incubator. She allowed a grown adult male to start grooming me at age 13. He was such a gentlemen….waited for my 14th birthday to have s*x with me. I got knocked up and was married at 14 and he was 22. After holding our kids over my head for years and keeping me trapped in the marriage, I finally turned 18 and fled with the kids. Now I’m a mother of 5 adult children, 3 grandbabies and 2 more on the way. I remember when my kids were going through all their youth phases and thinking to my: I’m willing to be put on death row to keep my own children from being predated on like I was my whole life….while so called grown up made the choice to turn a blind eye. I wrote to the judge and mayor who made that marriage happen a few years; asking them how they could just traffic a 14 year old child without batting an eyelash. But I never did hear back from them. 🙄 I’m so glad to hear you got out too!!!!!
I don’t understand how her parents could treat her the way they did and feel okay about it. Especially her mother, who just didn’t give a sh*t at all. I guess her dad did have some regrets about it, just too little too late. They really set her up for trouble, just by having that creep move in with them. Then on top of it they totally blamed her and refused to help her in any way. It’s also really messed up the whole way the court system treated her. She should have gotten some child support at the very least. It is insane that they wouldn’t have awarded her that even. He should have faced some consequences for what he did. He knew exactly what he was doing and it sounds like he definitely intentionally got her pregnant. I am glad that she was able to overcome all the obstacles in her life and create a happy life for her and her daughter. It sounds like she’s done an amazing job in spite of everything that’s happened.
Unfortunately a lotta mothers are like that toward their daughters and a lotta women are like that toward girls and other women, their first instinct is to protect the man even though the man is the criminal to their knowledge. Perhaps we as a society need to educate women on how to protect their daughters or girls.
Wow! Thank you for sharing this story. You are so brave. I can see how intelligent you are, and you have so much potential still, so don’t be hard on yourself! …. Things happen in life, and I’m sure you don’t regret having your child, but you are not alone in that your own family dynamics will set you up to fail sometimes and you can’t help that you never had a chance to make a different decision. My guess is your religious/homeschooling parents were controlling to a point that they wanted to control how you would get married, knowing full well that was a likely outcome of the single guy when they let him move in. I am sorry you were made easy prey for a predator, and maybe in the future you can live a healthy life on your own terms.
My 12 yr old I protect her when you see her you see me,we go everywhere together except when she go to school,no uncivilized human beings not going to destroy her…I don’t send her no where especially sleep over at any one house but her sister any animal try to abuse her man I tell I rather ruin that person no way honey,as a parent it’s our duty to protect our children 💯
If I had a daughter, my daughter would always come first no matter what. I would tell her that I love her and support her on anything. God is always there for anyone, but men made religion doesn’t get you nowhere, it’s only to control and destroy. I’m glad that young women is doing good and got stronger.
He not only had sex with her, but he kept doing it. Even though they were both consenting at the time, she was a minor and he knew it. As the adult, he should have put his foot down. He is at fault. I don’t understand why parents allow these things with their children. Do they hate their children? What is the reason for this?
Her mother was the first monster here. Sounds like her mother idolized attention from religious leaders and sold her daughter for her own feelings of self righteousness. Maybe she even lived vicariously through her daughter receiving all that attention from him. Very evil either way. An evil woman tears up her own home.
She could have made a shit ton of money as a model. I wonder why she didn’t do that. It can be a seedy world to get into and she could have been sucked in to doing things she didn’t want to do but a lot of modeling is completely harmless. Gosh.. if I was struggling for me and my baby I would have 100% used those looks.
Some comments are sick. Men, do you believe it would be a good idea for you at 15 to marry a woman in their mid 20s and beyond? Please do tell! Would you want your daughter to get married at that age? Notice how they had to hide this from the father initially because he would’ve never let that fly. Sick men
Honestly, wth is wrong with your parents?? What is the point of sheltering you all your life if they’re just going to hand you over to the first predator they encounter? Especially your mom. She definitely KNEW what he was about and how you were being groomed and did NOTHING to protect you. Like I can’t wrap my head around that. Was she jealous of you? Does she have other narcissistic traits, bc she sounds crazy. How is it that they’re literally standing by your full grown abuser, allowing him to live with them after all of that while you, at 17 was out there, struggling to get by on your own?? Your parents are crazy, and I’m glad you’re away from them. Wish the best for you and your daughter, God bless and stay strong.
Seriously the mother of this young lady has feeling for this man to bring him into her home around her daughter shows all she wanted was to have constant contact with him even after her brother brought it to her attention she chose to keep him there and he stayed in the home after she left . 🤨 The mother is sick and has feeling for him big time.
Honey, I would make sure to get a therapist, or stay with a good therapist is you have one. All that junk running through your young situation was not your fault but it now is your responsibility to figure out the whys. Get it straightened out before making any important decisions in your life. You are a survivor…but ARE you happy? You are a beautiful young woman with a lot of life ahead of you. Make sure it’s the life you want.
I don’t pity the men and women that steal away someone else’s salvation, especially a child’s, by abusing the sanctity of the church . The Lord stores up so much wrath for them, the Bible tells us. I completely understand people going their own ways in life, I just hope that the truth of Jesus brings comfort to the victims again, I’m sorry for your pain, may God bless you and thank you for sharing 🤍
This story is so tragic. I’m just so angry. But I’m also angry about this. With the change of Roe v. Wade, there are states where a rapist is considered the father, and is granted visitation. There is one case that I know of where the rapist won custody of the child when the mom was going through a hard time. His victim had to pay him child support. Women! Women!!! We are the only ones who have the power to stop this or do something about it. It’s not our shame. It’s not our children’s shame. Rapists will be making families. I mean God just think of that. Men fear us. We’ve got to take our power back. We are amazing!
you can still isa hopefully be a special person and it will never mean you will not have all what you expect or deserve. but the thing that really makes me steamed up is that this person and her family unluckily deform the image of ppl who try to be devoted to their religious values; however, on the way they lose their values, and even worse may cause others to lose their faith.
I am sorry that your parents failed to protect you. This adult male should have never allowed him to be alone with you. He was completely responsible for what happened. Youth pastors should never be alone with a child that is not their own. For the protection of the children and for their own protection. But primarily to protect the children.
This young lady’s mother and father wronged her. Religion is a personal thing, her mom made made the mistake of keeping the cotton and fire next to each other. There’s no justification for just trusting someone coz they follow ur religion! What abt common sense?! I am very very upset with the parents for this beautiful young lady to go through all these nonsense and truma at such an young age!
Her mother and passively, her father wanted her to be with that man and her mother seems upset they didn’t work out not that that the grooming was illegal and unethical. Many hyper religious families feel like the job parenting of their daughters is to get them married and in their own families. And many times it means to a much older man who they think has the means of caring for a family. The mother seemed aware of the situation every step of the way and did nothing to to protect her child while she was in the process of courting her child to a man a decade older than her against her will. Disgusting.
Unfortunately the law isn’t there to help this girl at all. So sad. Only thing that I can recommend is learning the True law. ” The Original Common law. All lawyers, judges, doctors ECT will have to learn the right laws. Hopefully learning this will help you . Know your rights through David Straight. God Bless and praying for you and and daughter. You are truly a brave girl.🙏🇺🇸❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your experience that must have been so, so terrible and it is NOT your fault. You were abused, hand picked, impregnated and forced into marriage. Can I ask why you had sex with him if you had been taught not to until you were married? Was it his manipulation? Had you been determined not to have sex before marriage until him? What do you think we can teach our daughters about how to avoid this? You were also very wise beyond your years. You did what you could to stop it and you knew your parents wouldn’t support you, that was very wise at 14/15. It all also makes me wonder if your Mom had a thing for him.
Did your church not teach that sex outside of marriage is wrong. You were being ‘used’ and ‘exploited’ by a ‘mean’ person. Did he target other ladies also? Was your youth pastor actually a Christian or was he simply ‘acting’ as though he was a Christian. So the person who does the evil is protected and the innocent person is treated like the guilty person. If a person who is a naracist, that person is totally in love with himself. He does not love anyone else only himself. A naracist is a person who has no sense of empathy and never ever apologise for anything. They ‘twist’ everything around and make the victim out to be the guilty person. These people are Wolves in sheeps clothing. Your past is one of trauma and abuse and abuse also happens in the church with some ‘pastors’ even emotionally abusing their wives. Keep contact to a minimum with your ex and set clear boundaries that he cannot cross. Christian churches simply always protect their own ‘image’ and ‘good name’. That’s why priests and pastors get moved from Parish to Parish across the country in order to ‘save’ the ‘good name’ of the organisation. Naracists never take responsibility and never ever will. They love positions of power and leadership over others as this fills the emptiness inside them. They also have many followers like a cult following and in the eyes of these people, the naracistic pastor is put on a plinth and ‘can do no wrong’. Their followers practically worship them instead of giving worship to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
She needed to get different lawyers, because she had every right to fight for everything that she could get from that pedophile! Her own mother groomed her too, and her father supported it! I would NEVER tell my daughter that I didn’t support her in anything that she wanted to do for herself, and my granddaughters, as long as she wasn’t harming herself, my granddaughters, or anyone else. Of course he’s going to say that she lied about her age, because he’s not about to come forth, and admit that he’s such a useless pos that he gets turned on by young girls, because he can fool them easier than he could a grown woman. Why do people think that all criminals are going to admit to what they did? It’s only a few who are honest about the crime that they committed. Being a young Momma with a child with a disability is hard, and she needed her parents, and they abandoned her. She’s a lot bigger person than I am, because I’d tell my Daddy that his apologies were a little to late, and I’d sue my pedophile supporting parents, my Momma especially. Having a grown man live with you, and he’s taking your young daughter places, is cause to tell him to pack up, and move, or better yet, not invite him to live with y’all! What a concept!! He as a man, should’ve volunteered to pay for his own child, especially after finding out that she was Autistic, but then we’re not talking about a normal man mentality, because normal men don’t like to Sha Bang Bang children! Yes, 14-15 years old is still a child!
I’m so confused at your mothers approach and the system is obviously weird . I felt sort of in the twilight zone listening to how that pedophile took advantage of your beauty and crush you had on him . May God convert him and your mother to face up what they did to you before their judgment day . I’m so proud of your accomplishments and resilience. May God continue to bless you even more
I disagree many 14 year olds I knew growing up had sex willingly and she knew what sex was and what the result of sex was. If a girl is old enough to have sex and get pregnn 6:08 ant shes old enough to get married and raise the kid right assuming no one put a gun to her head about it. Of course she can also choose divorce under the law which she did. All of these are choices. I dont see anyone forcing her to do anything.
I think your parents shouldn’t have brought a stranger to come live with you guys even if the starnger is christian or cathlic is wrong things can happen helping others is good but you have to draw the line perhaps if they had the money they could have rented a place for him and not have him at your place
This “youth pastor” is sooo wrong, and the fact that he used the Bible to manipulate this young lady 😓. She didn’t need to experience that, and he took advantage of her innocence…the family allowed that as well. God doesn’t condone predatory behaviors, and to see predators use The Bible is another kind of evil. Even Jesus says that if a man stares at a woman with lust in His eyes, he has committed adultery in his heart. That’s why it’s so important to cultivate a personal relationship with God based on sound knowledge and understanding because people cannot use our ignorance against us if we knew the truth. I’m saying this because I “dated” a youth pastor who manipulated and lied to me as well. I came to the truth when I was intentional about cultivating intimacy with God, and being studious for myself because it’s so easy to blame the “Christians”….when in fact these people who are using The Bible chose to give their heart to evil. As someone who loves God’s Word and enjoying growing in the knowledge of who God is, there’s no way a person who’s truly crucifying their flesh and searching their hearts would use Christianity to victimize others! It’s pure satanic 💔. The Holy Spirit doesn’t lead us to defile one another…Jesus says to love your neighbor as yourself, this challenges our standard to not think the lives of others is less meaningful than our own; we are to love one another. The Bible also says to not awaken love before its time…God’s wisdom concerning matters of the heart truly protect and preserve us, if anyone “claims” to be a Christian but what they’re saying or doing compromise your sanity and faith in God…run for your life.
I think this sort of thing is culturally different even in first world countries. I’m Italian, born and raised in Italy, and here the universal age of consent is 14 with no age limit and even now it’s not so strange if a 15 year old goes out with a 20 year old, we consider them almost the same age. Probably this perception has changed a bit with modern times, but my niece also had her “teacher crush” on a couple of her male teachers during high school and always talked about it freely. Obviously it was a secret one-way thing that she would only tell her friends about, so the teacher never knew about it. I myself had fallen in love with complete strangers much older than me. I’m 40 and when I was 13 I had a crush on a 33 year old, then at 15 on a 29 year old and at 16 on a 30 year old. People I’ve never talked to, people who didn’t even know I existed. I confessed to all of them via texts on their cars, going to the same places they went, and if they asked me for sex I would probably immediately say yes even though I had no previous experience. So no grooming on my part. Even now, in my 40s, I find older men more attractive than people my age or younger. And I’m also talking about 60-70 year old men. It’s not even so uncommon to have couples with an age gap. I’ve seen many Americans shocked by people with a 10-15years gap, but here it’s not uncommon. Even between my mother and my father there is a 10 year gap, with my father being the younger one (when I was born my mom was 35 and my father 25), now they’re 75 and 65.
Her parents are responsible as much as this “youth pastor”. I do wonder, how to young people in that position get the support they deserve? Homeschooled youth don’t have the range of community resources other students have. How could other adults have intervened before this disaster-waiting-to-happen happened? It was illegal. He should have been thrown in jail for starting a physical relationship with a child. I think people like this man should be outed, and not protected by blurring their image. And the parents… as a mom myself, it makes me furious that they allowed this, let alone were anything but supportive, comforting, and loving to their daughter (who is a survivor)!
I want to say this. In my understanding a Christian is a follower of Christ! Someone that submits to him, by first loving him and then loving their neighbor! If you abuse and take advantage of someone you are not doing that. A child having to carry out this burden is demonic and most shocking. Please correct me if I’m wrong.. No one can force you to a decision based on a sin (an adults sin really!). If you believe to be the sinner: Jesus died for our sins and heals us! God loves us. He is forgiving and life giving, when we turn to him. In Jesus name, I pray for healing for you and anyone in the comment section that suffered so tremendously. I pray for help and support and most importantly comfort. That you experience gentle and kind love and protection in your future and thet you will always remember that God is in the dark pit with you. ❤
That type of cristians that don’t protect their children at all cost just in order to hide their stupidity is very common. And we need to know that the Bible is against that behaviour. Faith without love is empty and results in soul loss. Love for own child is a must for anyone, moreover for a christian parent.
Your mother put you in this predicament …. 😐 Shed selfish .. I can’t believe she threatened your brother with grounding him for looking out for his sister !!! This only shows him that he doesn’t need to respect women. As a mother of a daughter who is 10 years old, (I’m 30. I had her at 20), I couldn’t invite a boy to live under my roof. The only boys that should be in your house is your husband & your sons if you have any. Ppl always tell kids to be careful with adults. But parents also need to watch with who they hang with. Your child might be friends with a child that has been sexually abused for years .. kids who are sexually abused, don’t know any better and will go on to abuse siblings or any family or friend. Because they think it’s normal. Don’t let your child go to a friends house alone or if they do, ask if there will be any men and boys. Even tho women can also be the abuser, usually it’s a male. Ppl need to watch their kids !!!!!
Both parents failed her! Mostly her mother! For inviting a man in the house and knowing after what was happening. She will go to hell! If she was that religous she wouldve done better obviously she was not connected to jesus whatsoever. Not a real christians because christians don’t do that. At least the real ones.
I’m sorry but I cannot be sympathetic to your article. Because you’re not taking absolutely any ownership of your actions. If he was 16 or 15 years old the same thing would have happened. It was really up to you to be the one who says no you were old enough to know between right and wrong. He did not rape you, you willingly laid with him.
It’s always so crazy to hear from those “Christian” homeschooled Americans what they do and their world view. It feels like they live in another universe and keep their kids willingly stupid and out of touch with the real world. I’m glad to live in a country where not only homeschooling is prohibited but also marriage before the legal age. I’m so sorry for you