How To Make Your Essay More Engaging?

It’s so much better to interpret setting through the characters’ experience of it. It’s a way to tell us more about the characters too. It was raining by the time Jill sat down at her desk to review the reports from work. The desk top was large; but the only thing on it besides her reports was a goosenecked desk lamp. Versus: When the first rain drops pelted against the window, Jill’s shoulders slumped. The room darkened, mirroring the world outside the window. She immediately reached over and turned on the gooseneck desk lamp. Soft white light flooded her desk top. It wasn’t sunlight, but it was better than the alternative. After she reread the same sentence three times, she gave up. The rain was once again the victor. She had no choice but to just wait it out. Versus: Jill smiled, nodding as the first rain drops tapped out it’s melody on the bay window. The tension emptied out of her shoulders. It was par for the course. When the room darkened, mirroring the world outside the window, she didn’t disrupt the mood by turning on the gooseneck lamp. She let her eyes adjust. She finished reviewing the reports in record time, yet again awestruck by the rain’s effect on her. It had always been that way. Same setting and conditions, first told not shown. Then shown as being experienced in a negative way versus a positive way by the character. It’s an extra opportunity to give some personal insight into the character – hinting that the rain consistently affects her mood and ability to focus but not saying why.

When I’m about to write characters I use three words and let them write them selves following it like a law. Nothing bothers me more then when characters break the rules of how they’re supposed to act… Unless it’s done well and is noticed by other characters. It could be supernatural some kind of mental illness or whatever…(shrug) love your work bro, keep it up.

You dang near saved how I was writing my story. My current story is my first time writing so I am very parionoid to even write more than 2 pages. So ive been perusal a lot of these types of articles to gain more knowledge and gain ny confidence to finish the first Chapter. And you have been the only person ive watched that has gave me this tip. And info dumping was something i was extremely worried about, and you helped me a lot with seeing the difference between info dumping meaningless information and instead adding debth. Thank you.

If I had to analyze the difference between your meh and good examples it would be that the good examples leave much of the work up to the reader. That involves them in the process, which is the very definition of immersion. We’ve all seen offices, we don’t need to be told what color the walls are unless there is something pertinent about that fact. Pointing out odd details like the broken light on the coffee machine tells readers something very specific and lets them fill in the mundane details on their own.

I honestly think that you are so underrated on YouTube. You deserve a lot more subscribers. I’ve learned so much from your simple, straightforward approach to writing. The traditional information out there are too much to remember when writing but you’ve narrowed it down to simply breathing life into characters by giving them human emotions and thinking of them as real humans so that writers can have a lasting impact on the reader. Thank you for everything you do.

I have been writing since I was seven, and the progress I made from being focused on describing the room where the characters are in had been transferred to how they would describe the room, how they feel around it, and how they see it rather than perceive it. I like to drop in occassional little details that may not make sense in the present, but later will be, and it’s been hard for me to transition from that to letting the reader be in the same shoes as the character in.

There’s a concept in information theory: Information is surprise. It’s why it’s possible to compress computer files. And it’s why idiosyncratic details are more memorable than expected ones. The problem with idiosyncratic details are that you have to convince the reader they are realistic and believable. The only reliable way to do that is go there IRL and be as observant as possible. Real police stations are full of quirky details that convey more information (and personality) than the carpet was grey and the coffee machine had a broken light.

Dialogue can help with description, also something happening during the description. Here’s a description of a place, from my (unpublished) novel, “For Selenya”. Our hero John is at a mountain lookout at the edge of a forest on an alien world, talkng with an alien woman who had just told John how she loves this forest: “Look John, how beautiful it is: wild, alive, riotous with green and—look—so many colours of tiny, unassuming forest flowers: in the shade, or peeking out from under a leaf, delicate little things you could so easily overlook—and yet it is rough, unconquered—so different from the neat way of the lowlands. Just these few scarecs away from our highway, how it all changes!” She breathed deeply, seeming to inhale the very essence of the place she so loved. John found himself doing likewise, for the first time consciously sensing the kaleidoscope of mossy, woody, fruity, flowery fragrances; he fancied he detected hints of pine forest, cedar, orange and peach blossom, and more, separately and together giving rise to a fine, exhilarating freshness. When he was here before, he was preoccupied with his troubles, but now he saw it with fresh eyes. Her love for this wilderness was infectious. She led the way around the bench, and they started strolling along a path that led directly into the forest. The sun was still bright outside, but soon the light softened, and the colours of the surroundings muted into mellow, shaded hues; and there was a great stillness. The rippled sounds of the light breeze that had wafted the foliage at the lookout did not penetrate.

Good article! I have something to add which I learned from my writing classes. Many of your “showing” sentences used the to-bes “was” or “were”. These words in and of themselves can lead to passive and even telling writing–not to mention verbose writing, meaning using more words than necessary to describe or say something. Outside of thoughts and dialogue (people do talk that way after all), to-be’s (am, are, is, was, were, be, being, been) should usually be eliminated. Example 1-“The man was fidgeting and biting his nails.” could be written as “The man fidgeted and bit his nails.” This eliminates a bit of verbose making the sentence more active and crisp. Example 2-“There was a leftover pizza, dirty clothes…” could be written in a more active way by writing it as “A leftover pizza and dirty clothes lay strewn about the floor.” Hope this helps other writers out there. Thanks for reading!

Writing 101: Ask yourself how you know what you’re telling the reader. Ex: The man was stressed. Ask yourself “How do I know that?” Then share the answer with the audience: There was a man sitting in the corner of the waiting room. His hair was matted to his forehead where beads of had been sweat collecting. His right leg was shaking in a steady rhythm accompanied by his blank stare into the distance. Here, the reader might infer this man was either waiting to hear news on a loved one or even himself. Much more interesting than the original sentence and made possible via the ole “how do I know this?” questionnaire. Great advice & a great article!

I feel there IS a place for the simple sentence, like when stating plainly a conclusion built up in a narrative or when it serves to contrast against being descriptive, but its also important to keep from over-elaborating. It is better to show than tell, but endlessly droning on or using increasingly verbose and esoteric words can feel tiresome. Shakespeare did say that “brevity is the soul of wit”.

Very good. Short and to the point. Well explained. I see this in my writing groups from writers of all levels. It’s hard to get them to change their ways. Many writers that haven’t bothered to learn the craft of writing are documenters rather than story tellers. They’re stuck on writing what they saw, not what their character(s) felt or experienced.

this article and your teaching has definitely added a new, stable variable to the current abomination that is my writing. i will definitely be descriptive, paint integral details for the purpose of being good at written communication as well as understanding complex, intelligent journals and articles. thanks!

Nice lesson today. I’m too lazy to improve my writing skill and this is my first time to write an english sentence again since a long time ago, i know what’s the point of the articles that i watched, and understand what they’re talking, sometimes i also practice my speaking by reading a text and spelling pronounce vocabulary with more better and correctly. I’m so thankful with your article benjamin

Every writer has to find the correct balance in all elements of their style. The “show vs tell” dynamic is important. But sometimes you do need to “tell”, particularly in first person. It’s more about the HOW you tell than the WHAT you tell. If you are constantly analyzing your technique/process instead of writing with honest emotion, your writing will be clear and proper, but stuffy. The most important thing is to write in rhythm, to have a flow and tempo. The details can be worked out later in the rewrite/editing stage. That being said, cutting out words and sentences has the same peculiar appeal as picking off scabs from yer knees.

My favorite example that i created myself Tell “She stepped over the bodies, not caring about them, only focused on the person in the middle of the fight, which she also didnt care for.” Show “The person she was after was in the middle of the brawl, already bodies were strewn around it, so she stepped over them, she needed to get to the middle.”

Thank you so much for the clear explanations and examples. “Show, not tell” ought to make the story more lively. In a short story, this is relatively easy. One can follow the examples you gave. But for a long story (a 500-page novel, for instance), “show, not tell” becomes more complicated. Sometimes, using short sentences is best. It does not mean that those short sentences have to be boring. You have to find the balance, and the line is thin. The problem also exists in dialogues. While talking, it is sometimes more natural to “tell, not show.” It is important to remember this and always try to find a balance. “Showing” should not result in overloaded sentences that will cause the reader vertigo. Good writing should not stick to recipes. It is more about working every sentence until it fits the story. Thank you again for the presentation.

This tutorial is great. But, you could also use the simpler phrases to introduce the more detailed clauses. For example, “It was cold: drainpipes were freezing, frost swallowed the hearth of silent cars, as the bitter burn of Nuclear Winter blemished the earth’s remains.” There’s many ways to be creative, without eliminating simple sentences. They also work to create impact. Open a paragraph with “blood everywhere.” And tell me that doesnt stick ;).

Comment at the START of the article: Great stuff Benjamin, I’m sure this might be useful to me one day. Comment at the END of the article: That article of Benjamin’s became a turning point in my writing career. It left a lasting impression and was the driving force that motivated me to want to become a better writer. I could picture myself writing my first masterpiece, then, how I would one day receive a call from the editor of a top-10 publishing house, inviting me to sign the contract and, as a culmination point, being nominated for the Pulitzer Prize and receiving worldwide recognition for the best novel of the decade.

I want to write comics as a career this is very helpful. I’ve thought if I was too describe backstory in a story. I could try a flashback sequence so a reader can at least see it. I’ve seen too many movies rip off the star wars info-dump. I’ve read books and comics that got quicker to the point than most movies with LESS dialogue.

I’m currently working a 12 hour shift in a remote railroad signal box, it has 360 degree panoramic views. In front of me is the ocean and the sun is glinting on calm waters, behind me are mountains, I can see tiny white specs moving up and down the mountains (sheep). Either side are lush green meadows which produce vibrant beautiful colours from wild flowers in the summer time. The signal box is an old Victorian wooden building. The old pendulum clock is tick ticking in a very mediative rhythm on the wall. My dog is curled up asleep next to the old log burning stove . The wind is trying to make its way through the thin panes of glass which makes a beautiful haunting sound . The resident Robin is outside on the steps eagerly pecking at the bread & biscuits crumbs I’ve thrown out for him. It’s a far cry from my last career in the city, I was well groomed and sharp suits, nice car and big house until one day ( 3 years ago) I saw the light after being forced to lay off some people at my company. It hit me hard & I just couldn’t live with myself anymore. I handed in my notice and walked out . The Universe came to my rescue and found this job for me, now I have long hair & beard and look like Grizzly Adams . I’ve taken up painting with water colours and I’m regularly bringing my paint pads here to work. I regularly have this website playing in the background. The only person I see occasionally is an old farmer who drives by on an old open top tractor, he’s an old man with a flat cap, bright red face, his sheep dog between his legs with its front paws placed on the steering wheel .

Just make sure as beginning writers that show don’t tell is a rather modern Zeitgeist of writing stories and more practical for screenwriters and less for novelist, obviously you can still use it but the only real advice is to read through your favourite novels to determine what is your flavour. And then try to find a balance between those two techniques. It’s like saying never write in second person but that would of diminished many beautiful prose to come.

It wasnt til earlier this year when I was feeling super upset and there was literally nothing to do about it at that time where I sat there and actually tried feeling what my emotional response was. My hands and legs were shaking and my stomach was hot. I don’t know why and Im sure that description is terrible, but idk how else to describe it. I really wonder how often do normal people pay attention to their emotions beyond “I feel angry”? How often do people have the chance to sit with a feeling and fully experience it? Most of the time theres something that needs to be done, right? Like if youre in an argument do you go, “hold on Im feeling angry and want to study this feeling. You can continue yelling at me later.” Even when I was little I was either thinking about the person or situation that made me upset or trying to get my mind off of it, rather than going “how do I feel? What do I feel? Where do I feel these feelings? What do they mean?” Yeah I never did that. Do people do that or is that some high level therapy thing?