This guide provides a step-by-step approach to rejecting a marriage proposal. It emphasizes the importance of being polite, respectful, and understanding when declining a proposal. The guide provides ten polite ways to say “NO”: I’m honored, but I’m sorry, I wish I could split into two, please excuse me; I have another appointment today.
Refusing a marriage proposal requires a delicate balance of honesty, respect, and empathy. To decline a proposal politely, ensure simplicity, be precise, and follow the golden rule. Introduce yourself and give them a cute handwritten note.
Be direct and honest with your words and emotions, and don’t overthink your answer. If the proposal is sprung on you in front of family and friends, don’t say “yes” in the heat of the moment if you know your real answer is “no.”
If you’re the partner who turns down a proposal, be both honest and mindful of your partner’s feelings. Ideally, seek to articulate your reasons for your answer and acknowledge your partner’s feelings.
In summary, this guide provides a step-by-step approach to rejecting a marriage proposal, emphasizing the importance of being polite, respectful, and understanding.
📹 How To Turn A Guy Down In A Classy Way
*** In this week’s episode of LOVELife, I tackle that awkward moment when a guy you’re not interested in approaches you, and theĀ …
How to reject someone nicely without hurting them?
Don’t blame. Don’t say you’re breaking up with someone because they’re a horrible person. It’s okay to voice your concerns. Be honest and constructive. For example, you could say, “I can’t date you anymore.” It bothers me when you cancel plans without warning. You can also say something nice. There are lots of good things about dating. It’s time for me to move on. You might be nervous if you have to reject someone. Sometimes making a plan can help. Think about what you want to say. If you’re breaking up because you don’t want to be in a relationship, say so. Write down your thoughts. It can help to write your thoughts down. It can help you remember what to say. Think about how the other person feels. Try different ways of saying this to find the one that feels right.
How to politely decline a proposal?
Thank you for the quote. Thanks for your work on this proposal. However, we have decided to decline the offer. We can’t go ahead with the proposal. We appreciate the quality of your work and your company’s reputation. We’ll keep you in mind for future projects. Thank you for putting this together. Best of luck with this work.
How do you nicely reject a marriage proposal?
Stay positive and honest. That’s a great request. … Thanks, but I have so many questions that I’m not sure if we’ll be compatible. … I love you for asking, but I don’t plan on getting married. The fairytale says yes is the only answer to a marriage proposal. Sometimes, marriage isn’t the right choice. There are many reasons to reject a proposal. It could be that you’re not sure the person is a good marriage partner, that you don’t know each other well, or that you’re not sure if the person asking means it. When it comes to a big decision, don’t say yes if you should say no. Being honest helps you both make the best decision. It’s OK to have a feeling that the marriage won’t work and just go with that. But it’s better to know what you’re worried about. If you’re nervous about marriage, read How to overcome the fear of marriage. If you think you and your partner are not compatible, talk about it soon. Think about these things before you have a serious conversation. Do you feel like this is a serious, permanent relationship, or more like a temporary, lighthearted one? If your partner is more serious than you are, it could be hard to find a way forward. Is getting married going to stop you doing what you want to do? Would you marry your partner later? Do you have strong opinions about marriage? Would you rather live together or separately in a committed relationship? Do you have concerns about your partner’s approach to having children, running a household, financial habits, career goals, or other big picture items that would make marriage or cohabitation difficult? Do you have other concerns about your partner or your relationship? Discuss these as soon as possible, even if you don’t plan to marry.
How to reject a rishta politely?
You can say, “I appreciate your honesty, but I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” “I hope you find someone worthy.”
9. Keep it casual. Sometimes you have to reject someone you like. It’s hard to reject someone you like because they think it should be easy. But it doesn’t have to be awkward. Tell them you can’t go on a date with them.
How to politely turn a guy down?
Reject a guy nicely by thanking him politely and then saying no. Offer a compliment to soften the rejection. Prevent him from feeling hurt by sharing I statements. Let him know you’re dating someone else. Explain that you don’t see him as a romantic interest.
Turn down a date or hookup without hurting his feelings.
It’s a bummer when a guy you don’t like asks you out. You don’t want to hurt his feelings, but you have to say no. Don’t stress! We can help. We’ve got the best ways to say no to a guy.
Thank him politely and say no. Offer a compliment to soften the rejection. Prevent him from feeling hurt by sharing I statements. Let him know you’re dating someone else. Explain you don’t see him as romantic.
How to kindly turn someone down?
You can say, “Thanks for the fun date, but I’m not interested in a romantic relationship,” or “It was great meeting you, but I don’t feel a spark.” Even if they don’t react the way you want, you can feel good about being direct and ending it cleanly.
Tell the other person how you feel. You don’t owe anyone more explanation or time than you want to give. If the other person is sad or frustrated, they may want to know that their feelings are valid. If you’re comfortable, saying “I understand your disappointment” can make them feel seen and heard.
Check in with yourself, too. Everyone reacts differently to ending things, so listen to your feelings. Maybe you need a break from dating or you want to start dating again. You shouldn’t ignore your own feelings just because you broke up with someone. Be kind to everyone involved.
How do you politely decline a proposal?
Thank you for your proposal to Company Name. “Thank you for your proposal and considering us as a partner.” State the decision clearly. Tell them you’re not going to accept the proposal. State that you have decided not to move forward with the proposal. “We regret to inform you that we have chosen not to proceed with your proposal at this time.”
Give a reason (optional): If you want, explain why. This helps the sender understand why their proposal was not accepted.
Is it OK to say no to a marriage proposal?
It’s brave to say no, but you have to love your partner. If you see a future with them, say yes. Don’t say yes just to say no later. Don’t do anything you don’t feel right about, said Katrina Grossman, a marriage and family therapist in San Francisco. “If you don’t trust the decision, it wasn’t the right one,” she said. “Let things happen in their own time. “You’ll find the right path.” If it’s a public proposal, saying no is harder.
Is it okay to reject a proposal?
The person asking is brave. They’ve shown their heart. Thank them for the offer and be aware of their feelings. But don’t change your mind.
How do you reject someone in the kindest way?
Be honest. They say honesty is the best policy for a reason. Be ready. … Do it in person. … Use “I” statements. … It’s normal to feel this way. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t give false hope.
Phone vector created by pch.vector – freepik.com.
Rejection is never fun. Rejecting someone is hard, especially if you’re trying to be nice. Our relationships expert offers seven tips to reject someone nicely.
How do I respectfully decline?
Here are a few ways to practice: Thanks for thinking of me. I can’t make it. I’m at capacity. Thanks for understanding. No, not now.
📹 How to politely say no to a proposal
Hey love, This was a video request on how to say no to men without causing much damage. I have shared a few comments fromĀ …
It hurts so much to reject someone else. At least someone I care about. After rejecting someone it feels as though I manipulated their feelings for my own selfish flaws. It’s true. I hate when I procrastinate or create false signals just because I feel lonely and sometimes they are the only ones I am talking to and spent time with. On the inside I don’t feel strong enough attraction either physically or emotionally for them. Sometimes I may have moments I feel like it could happen but sadly if it could, I wouldn’t be in the shoes I am in needing to reject them. I feel very bad, heartbroken, rejected, defeated each time I have to reject others. I have to keep in mind that it’s important to respect them to let them know how we feel in an honest and respectful way. Know boundaries and not to cross them.
To be honest, it sucks that women can’t be nice, engaging and friendly with men their not interested in. I’m a nice person! I like connecting with people! But as soon as my free-spirited self flashes a friendly smile, guys take it the WRONG WAY. For now on, I’m going to say upfront: “I’m not interested in anything romantic with you, just friends.” Is that a good way to say it? Help me out people.
I’m so polite that some guys understand me wrong and actually believe i like them. then when they really piss me off by literally following me and being very annoying i have to find many lies that would NOT hurt their feelings, so i usually say ” i have a boyfriend” and “I’m a lesbian” but there are some freaks who continue being persistent. So I’d say when women are polite, the insecure guys hear what they would like to hear
This one time a guy was being super annoying and clingy even though we haven‘t even met, so I started being repellent and barely texted back, but he kept being persistent. So I told him politely that I wasn’t interested and that we wouldn’t be a good fit and what did he do? He started insulting me and blocked me afterwards. Classic move
I disagree with this article. Love you Matt, but I don’t think you should be kind simply because your ideal man may be perusal you. It’s part of common decency and empathy for other people to be gentle when you reject someone. Being rejected is universally humiliating. There is nothing socially worse than it. As a human being you should have the compassion not to tear someone apart (especially in public) when you do not want them. I’m sure we have all been rejected in our love lives, and know exactly how it feels. I would never want to cut someone like I’ve been cut.
I’m usually really polite. Sometimes I even talk to a guy I’m not interested in, cause I like meeting new people, or I’m bored ect. But what I hate is sometimes other guys look at me weird that I’m talking to this guy, who is not as cute, or a little unusual, like why am I talking to him? I must like him…They kind of don’re respect me as much for doing that. It’s werid. But I have to think, why can’t I talked to someone, even if I don’t like them, and why does it automatically mean I’m with them, or easy, just cause I have good manners and am interested in people. I think if someone was a really nice guy, it wouldn’t bother him, if I did this.
I generally don’t judge women when they have to reject guys in public. I don’t know what their situation is, this guy could have been following them the whole night or has been following them to parties for a while even after she has politely rejected them. A lot of the time I do find that guys (and most disturbingly older men) will not take a polite rejection and you really have to spell it out for them otherwise they will not leave you alone because somehow they think that when a woman makes an awkward smile or laugh that that means whatever they’re doing is working even though in reality the women are really uncomfortable and they want to leave. The worst is when, if the group tries to duck out of the situation and get their friend out of there, they’ll follow them or keep popping up in the middle of conversations with other people, which is the worst because not only are they distracting you from people you were talking to but they’re actively demanding your attention even though you’ve made it clear that you are talking to someone else right now. I think the cold stare really is the go-to for a lot of really popular women because at some point it just gets too exhausting to deal with and you never know when one of these guys is going to be a hanger-on. While I get that guy you actually are attracted to might not come up to you if you give the other guy the cold shoulder, well, I guess you have to cut your losses.
Ughh I always had this problem going out! The minute you say “hi!” it’s over. Even trying to remove myself from the situation didn’t work because the guy would just FOLLOW me like some stray puppy.. One guy was so persistent even though I told him several times I wasn’t interested that after a couple of hours my bestie finally snapped and all but bit his head off telling him to screw off. I”m not that bold. He finally left XD but then the rest of the guys were so afraid of her they avoided our group the rest of the night! Sometimes you just can’t win…
This is perfect! And it couldn’t have come at a better time. This has happened to me twice this week and I’ve found being really honest and nice is the best way to go. I just say thank you for the kind words but I’m currently fresh out of a relationship and not interested in dating anyone at the moment other than myself š Mature classy guys are always respectful and never argue with that answer š Thank you Matt!
I actually have asked my friends to pull me our of situations when I’m not feeling good or we are having a girl’s night out. So it works and it is more polite/natural, I feel. I guess the key is always treating/responding to someone the way you would like to be responded to/treated. Great article. Thanks.
I hang out with a bunch of guys and there were times when a real hot girl comes in and give my guy friend a look. I would tell them to go get her because she is obviously interested too. But you know what he said? He said: she’ll probably have 10 guys approaching her and I don’t want to be the eleventh. WTF?! Somehow it is the woman’s fault that she is attractive. It is her fault that she gets chatted up by too many men. So a guy would already cross a girl off his list way before she had the chance to be rude or act classy to anyone. I hate this way of thinking; judging a person from afar before you actually meet the person. And it pisses me off how you are telling women this as if it is ok to for the guy to judge the girl without knowing her situation. If a girl is impolite to a waiter on your date then I can understand that you don’t want to see her again. But here you just see her giving someone the cold shoulder and you assume she is a bitch. Maybe that guy came to her with a real sleazy line or he rudely interrupted her when she was taking to others. Maybe she had a bad day at the office.
Every time a guy comes to talk to me and I don’t like him I really get nervous because I don’t know how to turn him down, without hurting him or making feel ashamed of his movement or whatever. And I feel terrible when the guy I like is near and he sees me talking to someone else, though I don”t want to talk with him…. This article was really useful Mat thank you.
Great advice! Be polite and respectful. I definitely had a situation when I wasn’t the most respectful when I turned down a guy. He was drunk and obnoxious, however, I was very rude to him. I could have been a bit more polite. I learned a lesson, and I intend to apply my lessons to the next time I have to turn down a guy. Thanks Matt!
Thanking someone for a compliment is well and good, but most guys don’t pay a compliment to just get a ‘Thank you’ in return. If you say you have to leave to be with your friends, or just leave to avoid them altogether, they’d try and ask you for your number! They can be quite persistent and obnoxious. What’s worked better for me personally is either the cold stare and walking away (depending on how cocky the guy is) or saying that I’m in a relationship/engaged/married!
This is great advice, but how to we get out of it when guys are messaging us on Facebook? When I turn a guy down and say I’m not interested they’ll usually say “but I just wanted to be friends. I didn’t want anything more. What’s wrong with getting to know each other”. How are we supposed to respond to that? We all know they wanted more, and they are making it harder for us to get out of it.
Thank you for addressing the issue, Matthew! Once in a while I have to turn down a guy and I almost always have a hard time doing it. Often I am too nice and engage in a conversation, because I think maybe the guy is an interesting person, I’m curious and because I find it arrogant to turn away from the beginning. I also hate to l lie and at the same time I have the feeling that it’s really hard sometimes to turn someone down in a classy way without lying, i.e. “dropping the bf-bomb”, as “akiheavenly6” has phrased it.^^ Many times I regret having engaged in a conversation because the guy got really pushy which I hate. However, I don’t want to be the kind of person who just turns away. I think that the scope of the article is too small, though, as it applies mainly to situations, where a stranger comes over to you, e.g. in a bar, club, etc. For me it’s also very hard if I’ve already talked to the guy or I already know the guy better and really like him and nevertheless I have to turn him down. Then it isn’t the solution to just be nice and turn away.
Hmmm I don’t think so – my boyfriend (before we were dating) saw me reject a guy in the most savage way. The unknown guy came up to me and said I was gorgeous and that I looked interesting. I replied “no, I’m not having a bar of this, I’m enjoying myself and you’re being rude by interrupting” and the entire table ignored him. My boyfriend and I discussed it years later and he was so impressed with how savage and brutal I was, he thought “damn! That’s my girl” hahahahaha. We have a laugh about it. I’m sorry, its not my or other women’s job to make sure men’s feelings don’t get hurt when they acost us – it’s not our job to be sugar and spice and everything nice. I also think my boyfriend probably thought “if she’s like this when she’s single, imagine her when shes in a committed relationship”. To all the women out there, don’t listen to this guy. Loyalty, integrity and asserting your boundaries is truly attractive to men
Rejecting a guy politely has often lead to them calling me a bitch or them telling me that I can’t take a compliment or them making excuses like, “I was just being nice,” or, “what? We can’t just talk?” (And if you let them talk they view this as another opportunity and ignore your previous rejection). I would say this happens upwards of 90% of the time. Point being you can’t underestimate the amount of entitlement many men feel when they approach a woman – particularly in a bar. I would argue that the majority of the time women end up sacrificing this opportunity to appear as someone who is kind or pleasant (and subsequently desirable). It seems very unfair that we are being docked points for dealing with harassment in an effective manner.
Mathew, I searched this article because when men approach me I am feeling extremely afraid of them. I wanted a nice way to turn them down so that they may be less inclined to do anything to humiliate, pursue or hurt me. I’m insulted that you believe I should behave in a certain way because others are looking. I don’t think you can fully appreciate the daily experience of being a woman. This thing happens in the streets, at a market at my school, I don’t go to night clubs, I dress conservatively nothing helps. When this happens I feel sick to my stomach and go home and cry and all you can say to me is that I should be worried who is looking. It’s ignorant and disappointing, but I appreciate you are trying to help. By the way telling someone that you have someone to meet when you are alone invites them to find out otherwise and attempt to engage again. Walking away invites a scene. After this happens I have no choice but to go straight home. Please be aware of this in future.
I just have this deep regret from 8th grade when I was going to a different class and someone just told me I’m cute which was completely the last thing I expected I just gave the dude the most confused look ever and he just looked so disappointed in himself I felt so bad after my brain had fully registered what happened
Hi Matthew,I really appreciate each article you made, actually- this one was the first one (because I was seeking this answer) and after that I watched many others and subscribed here š But still, I have problem : how to kindly reject someoneĀ“s claim(ask) for my number when I know I am not interested being in touch? What to tell them ? I miss some assertiveness, I donĀ“t want to offend anybody, so I gave them my n. and then slowly dropping from answering, however I donĀ“t feel comfortable to do it this way either. What to do, how to make it to be polite, kind and clear in the same time?
Hi Matthew, as you suggested in the other article to engage more in comments, not just perusal your articles. I’m doing it now;) just wanna say thanks for all these good articles advices and I really like you as a kind person. Really enjoy perusal all your articles, hope to meet you one day in person, haha:-p
This is really useful advice. I agree with IphigĆ©nie -Ifi Pop below. In my social circle I tend to be on my own rather than with friends and as it’s largely a male environment tend to feel more vulnerable at times. I’m never rude. However, it’s knowing how to draw the line and say no in a polite way.
Hey Matthew. Wonderful article. Excellent advice as always. This article was much awaited. I now know how to deal with guys in public. My issue is a little different. I’m a pharmacist. I’m always friendly and professional with all my patients. Unfortunately some males take the friendliness as me being interested because I always tend to get guys calling me at work and trying to ask me out. Now I’m not used to being anything but polite and I Dnt knw how to handle rejecting these guys over the phone. I tend to avoid the calls or when I realize it’s them I just say “I’m extremely busy, iv got to go”. I hate rejecting ppl as I knw it hurts and so my solution is avoidance but this isn’t a proper solution and it doesn’t work. Any advice? This one guy calls me every day and it’s becoming a bit much too handle. Please help me.
If youre a beautiful person you show your beauty to everyone and don’t judge just because someones “weird” or whatever. If you reject guys based on their look then you deserve to be rejected the same way by guys. Im a girl and I learned this lesson that life is way easier when youre just beautiful with everyone… it also takes the hot ones off a pedestal.
Some guys are just too desperate. I get along well with most people and this is always being held against me in a way. I don’t want to be unkind, so I just tend to ignore a bit more and be a bit more distant. The moment I’m kind in rejecting, then they’d suggest another date or change the subject. Men are not stupid, they sometimes just choose to be ignorant. I think the rule number one should be: Don’t take everything so seriously when you hardly know the other person. This goes for males and females.
though I agree with being empathetic and understanding how difficult it is to approach someone, I know from experience that being kind, never turned away a man who approached me. I have rarely been approached respectfully and decently enough for that person to just leave when I ask them to. Even when it starts with a simple ‘hello’ it usually never just ends there and often takes a turn for the worse. Being ‘cold’ is often the only way to successfully reject someone if at all.And it may not even be an act, as it is more than understandable that inappropriate approaches are tiring, humiliating and sometimes scary. And that is a problem that cannot be changed by ‘classy rejections’. So I don’t find this technique to be effective, even though I would very much like it to be. This is a societal problem. From feelings of entitlement to miscommunication in dating altogether.
The problem with this advice is depends on who and how you’re being approached by the guy. There are situations where you are in a pub with friends and a few drunks just keep interrupting the conversation you’re having, I’m always nice at first but if they keep insisting it will end up pissing me off. Other times you’re just alone in the middle of the street and some weirdo driving just decides to stop to ask for your number while you walk.. this happened to me a few times and it’s not a good feeling, the first thing is that you feel unsafe..even one time the guy just asked me if I lived in that street (which I did), I had to lie and say I lived with my boyfriend just in case… this is why some women act cold, I’m generally nice and have been asked for my number many times and usually guys approach you being nice, funny and not being creeps at all so I have no problem with that, if I’m not interested I always say I have a boyfriend nicely but thank you and they’re OK. But what to do in the other situations??
This advice doesn’t leave me feeling warm and fuzzy. Why should I have to make up an excuse to get a man to quit hitting on me? I like being warm and friendly to everyone and I feel that when I do, some guys think it’s an open invitation to do that. It’s fine if he politely asks or makes a flirt, but if it’s not reciprocated, just stop already. As if being pushy is going to make me all of a sudden change my mind. Also, there are many times when a woman gets hit on and she is alone, who do you turn to for escape then? I think being upfront and honest is the best way. “Thank you for your compliment, etc. but I’m not interested.” Seriously, this should be the end of it. It really sucks when men take advantage of the surroundings and push boundaries because they feel they can. (Like when you are at work and serving customers).
Saying things you suggested can actually get a girl in trouble. There is a lot of guys who – like you said – think that if a girl is being kind, she is intrested. Even if she finds an obvious exuse to leave, he will just think that she’s playing hard to get or whatever. And he’ll be coming back trying to talk again later. Or keep staring. But I agree that we shouldn’t be mean – at least not from the very beginning. But if a guy doesn’t get it and come to you again – that’s when it’s a good moment to make him wanna stop.
My single friends don’t even approach women anymore because of how much the insecure men ruined for them. My friends are the good guys that most women are searching for. Sometimes if a guy comes up to you it doesn’t mean they’re a dog, it can mean that they genuinely like you and also want to get to know you as a person. I’m not single so I don’t have this problem of having to approach women and get rejected
Any suggestions for the super persistent ones that you can’t get rid of after being polite for several minutes of several attempts to leave the conversation including “I need to go to _ now,” or when you are in a job where you are stationary and can’t move and have said “I need to get back to work now”? Or would that be the time to contact security or a supervisor and there isn’t another step really?
Just drop the boyfriend-bomb and get it over with. I do not have time to turn men down in a classy way. I know men hate the bf-bomb but it is really the easiest way for a woman and the guy won’t take that personal. And meeting guys is not my priority anyway when I go out, so I am not going to act classy when someone gets on my nerves.
I really like this article. there is this peace about it and the advice is implementable..unfortunately I got this too late..I had just told him that I would be a very good friend to him and that I wasnt ever going to like him back…and it took a while for me to tell him…I was just giving myself sometime to see I’d I would naturally respond to his constant attention but nth happened.Now,he won’t talk to me.
I have a guy at my new job who’s been very flirty with me, take in mind I have a boyfriend but I’m very polite so I was very easy to approach and start a conversation. I would continue the conversation because it’s just the “polite” thing to do. I knew from the get go he was flirting but I also had a little doubt until today where he had winked at me twice!!! First time I was extremely surprised to the point where I didn’t know whether I was imagining things or not and he did it a second time and it made me feel EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE. I had hoped for him to just give up but he keeps asking me “how are you? How are you doing? Everything okay?” I literally just want it to end, I don’t see my boyfriend as much as I’d like to so it makes it even harder 😔🌸
What if you’re going home by public transport at 2 a.m., waiting at the bus stop and choose to engage in a friendly conversation with a fellow commuter who is also waiting? I think rejecting someone when you have friends close by or during the day is much different than having that conversation when you’re tried from your day and just left friends after a few drinks. What would you advise? How can we politely decline? I am trying my best to be nice to people and understand them! Just after I came into the bus (I had my bike that day because I had already biked 32 km and I was not ready to do 12 km uphill at 2 a.m), another women, who also had a bike and latched it to the front of the bus, came in, and right away, a random dude comes up to her to tell her she’s strong (wow), and comes super close to her (this is COVID times), anyway… couldn’t really hear what she said to him, probably quite roughly, he was smiling though!! and just left after understanding he wasn’t gonna get nothing. All of this is from last night. At 2:45 a.m., I was close from home, when my mom textes me “Where are you?”. I’m 24 years old, I haven’t lived with my parents in six years, and have lived in two different cities since, travelled alone for 5 months. Yet my mom, who is scared to death of just about anything tangible or intangible, has to feel like she has to ask her daughter where she is, in probably one of the safest cities in the world. And I am extremely lucky for that. We had agreed, when I moved back in just before COVID, that I’d only text them to tell me if I was not coming home at all that night.
This is great advice; however, what about guys in a work situation? I work in a male dominant industry and I am very charismatic professionally. I have been invited to dinner by men who I work with. Because I am new and I want to be very careful of not sending the wrong message, I decline the invitations. I will never know what sort of invitation it was, because I do not take the chance to find out and have an awkward conversation with someone I have to work with. Please tell me what to say to get out of these awkward invitations! Why can’t I find a nice gentleman outside of my work environment?
I had a guy interested in me last semester. I sort of suspected it, but I have zero realtionship experience (im 16) and I didnt know how to handle it. I have really low self-esteem, so I didnt know if I should just say Im not interested, because I thought why would I assume that someone could like me or some shit. We were great friends, and we planned to go out AS FRIENDS. Two days before the arranged time he asked me if this was a date. I agreed, even tho I knew I will feel uncomfortable and anxious all the time. I did. That week I told him that I want our relationship to be purely of friends, and now, exactly a year later we dont even talk. It kind of hurts, cuz before we spoke almost every day, we had inside jokes that are lost now and a few topics I could only discuss with him. I learned that trying to be friends with the opposite sex at this age is extremely hard, unless you’re both in a relationship or one of you isnt straight.
I have had several guys be total jerks when I’ve let them down nicely. It makes me not want to date. If being vulnerable means getting your life picked apart for sport, I’m out. I can’t imagine doing that to someone else. If I don’t think he’s right for me, I politely say so and don’t tell him why, even if he asks.
Nope. A classy response will still make the guy think he has an opening. The safest thing for a woman is to keep giving out the cold shoulder. If the guy she likes comes along then she’ll welcome him. Keep things the way they are. And it’s our job to try even if we see her rejecting other dudes. We are not all the same. Seeing her rejecting guys cold like that, actually makes me interested in her and makes me believe she knows how to turn guys down when she gets married to me and others flirt with her.
I’m glad that you brought up this, I’ve seen far to often that women are generally cruel or harsh in their responses to men that they are not interested in. But now I understand the reasoning of that as men can be overly persistent. However, I’ve never been this way and to a point have gone out of my way to be kind and respectful of my rejections of people. If they were being overly aggressive after that I would make it very clear as day that I was not interested and insist that they stop. Being firm but not harsh and crude.
What I am having trouble with are guys who I have no interest in because you know what? I’m not attracted to them. And yet, they are persistent with the whole “give me a chance”, go on a date with me. I’m not into wasting my time when I am already not interested. We all deserve to go on dates with people we are attracted to.
4:05 I’m not agree with you Matthew. Why do I have to leave to another part of the venue or leave the venue? I’m not the one being annoying, I’m the one having a good time with my friends and being polite with that particular annoying person. I prefer to be a little bit more “rude” and make sure that person know that I’m not interested than make my friends have to move venue because of him.
My daughter’s coach is socially akward. I was open to entertaining it because he is a reality nice guy….. but he got weirder. He has an obsession with big woman and feet and started sending weird pictures sticking his tongue out. It disgusted me and made me lose respect for him. So i told him we’re not compatible and i wished him the best. Now he texts me all the time and I want to be cordial and not ghost him but is it ghosting if i already told him i wasn’t interested. I think it’s an infatuation. He is very persistent and creepy. Like he only sends text, wont call. And never asks me out just says how are you doing and memes etc. I dont know do i tell him again im not interested or just stop responding?
I have to say…reading these comments from girls (not women), have been a bit eye-opening. The sense of entitlement and self-delusion is…letĀ“s say suprising. Good that I got rid of my fear of rejection…has been very liberating š A piece of advice to guys is to approach women you are not interested in and just practice conversing and having fun..and then you can move on. It creates a fun atmosphere and gets you ready to talk to the women you are interested in. Plus it raises your social value in a group environment. A benefit of being the one who does the approach is that you get to choose which women you want to interact with…far better than having to wait around, like what most women have to do. Being pro-active is a benefit š
What if they don’t get the message? There’s this guy that keeps texting me and since I don’t want to flat out leave him on “seen”, I respond, in short, dead-end answers… except that they try to keep the conversation going by asking more questions! Questions that are literally the same every time and it just gets kind of boring. Not to mention, I reply really slowly as well. I have to say, he seems like a nice guy but I would really hope he gets the sign that sometimes I just don’t want to engage in conversation!
some random guy gave me his number today. i felt really uncomfortable with it. he kept touching me and it made me very uneasy. he doesnt even know my name. i’ve had one convo with him last week bc we were in the same elevator. it was a minute at most and i didnt show interest. i was just being polite. i am 18 but i look younger. hes more into his 40s. he tried waiting for me to leave when i didnt go outside with him. i can’t just not show up all week. i have to go to that place since its mandatory. i think i might just tell him i’m gay if he keeps pushing it? something is really bothering me about the situation. i don’t know what else to do.
There’s one coworker who’s been trying to ask me out for quite some time now. He’s really persistent about it, text&call me every night even though I never pick it up. One day, I gave up and decided to go out to the movies with him once (as a friend) so I dont feel like I have debt anymore. What happened was, he tried to hold my hand a few times, and I always brushed it off. Then after the movie ends, I immediately say I need to go home cause my parents are coming. And he said, he wanted to come to my house and meet my parents. And I pretended to laugh at it and changed the subject. The next day, he continued doing the same thing: text and call me everyday, though I never reply any of his text anymore except for work. Can anyone give me an advice for my situation? I dont know how to reject him. Because he’s a coworker that I have to work with everyday.
how could you just understand everything in the subconscious world and put into words. i feel like you can express everything we understand but we don’t quiet say it out loud. it is really cool to hear what i personally can get from a situation or understand from someone else saying it… if you get what i mean.
Hey Matthew! I have a question for you. Guys only seem to wanna sleep with me. What should I do or rather don’t do to get to know the person? I have obviously tried going the highway but guys always seem to wanna be overly sexual right away even if it’s on the phone or in real life. Feel depressed over this fact. Give me any advice! Thanks alot! Julia
quick story time i need some advice there is a guy whom texted me “i love you” with no context what so ever. i feel like it might me a joke. i texted him i didnt feel the same. he hasnt responded, and we are on spring break at the moment so i dont have to see hime for a while, but i dont want it to be awkward when we start school again, what do i do? plz help
What does it mean when a guy keeps looking at you in school during class? What should you do if you have been good friends with a guy for a long time but you might start have feelings for him now and what if he’s the guy who keeps looking at you in class during school? What do you do? I’m in high school. I would like to know what to do and if I should do anything about it. Also what if you like two guys one you have been friends withĀ a long time and are starting to have feelings for but the other guy you don’t talk to or know very well but still like? what do you in that situation?
I like this but wish you’d elaborated on what to say AFTER.. So if you give that little speech what is stopping him from saying “That’s cool, I’d love to take you out sometime can we exchange numbers?” Do we just say, “Uh..I’m not sure.. because that seems like backtracking from this friendly air you were just demonstrating. What is the best way to deal with that?
i perusal the article and reading the comments. i see a good amount of the comments of woman that are says “we do this and they still wont leave us alone!!!” i feel ya… i can be the most polite person in the world and they will still follow me. maybe there should be a article for guys not getting all butt hurt and leave the woman alone.
This was really helpful. Unfortunately i should have watched this before i was approached ^.^” I acted really nice to him and am still chatting with him online but he’s becoming really creepy and stalker ish and keeps messaging me everyday and i dont know how to say stop. I don’t mind talking to him from time to time but just not evrryday. Pls help
What if you accendentally led him on during a first date after getting a little too tipsy at dinner? And you have mutual friends who will lose trust in you after rejecting him? I need advice please, he wants to hang out again tonight and I gave him the wrong idea. I feel awful, but it felt like I was kissing my brother.
I need specific help. I met this guy through my bff’s boyfriend when we were all hanging out, but I didn’t really pay much attention to him. Later, my bff and her bf tell me that the guy likes me and they push me to try to date him, he’s a really nice guy so I tried to get to know him by texts, but when we met up it just didn’t feel right. Now I don’t know how to turn him down cuz he never told me, he liked me, but I know he does and I don’t really want to hurt him…help please.
I wish there was a way to have a group gathering and explain to all that are inquiring, that I do not want to go on any type of date or etc. All my hints as to “no I have no desire to date or do anything that resembles one”…could be said to all of them at once. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. I don’t even give off any signals, and try to isolate myself from any situation so I don’t have to hurt feelings. I almost want to put “married” as my status. I have told my soul to one person….I am no longer interested in explaining my heart to anyone else. How do you explain that to someone? Without going into a lot of detail. And I don’t want to sound rude (that is not who I am). I had found the perfect fit. Anyone else would be 2nd best.
This doesn’t quite help me. How about the guy that hits on you at the gym and asks you for your number or offers his card? It’s not like I have a gaggle of girls standing around waiting to rescue me. And I’m not going to lie and say I have a boyfriend because then that might circulate and prevent the guy I’m actually interested in from approaching me. Thoughts???
I’d like an answer to the question that I can do something with. I often go out by myself so no ‘escape’ of using the gal-pals to help me out. Being polite does not work. Men are too thick it seems, OR they get rude. Then leaving the venue… I go out for THAT particular venue! It would be great if men would finally respect women and not see is as sex objects for their convenience, esp when they had a beer. But I’ve even had this happen online on dating sites. So I don’t even send a message anymore to say I’m not interested. They either get very rude or they start engaging as if I said “I’m interested!” Most men are really annoying and pushy and totally oblivious of what I want/need, and disrespectful of a woman.
Sometimes you can’t get it right and it realy depends, some have to be put down very hard or they keep coming at you otherwise. Others – you just know, that they will get ugly when you’re rude, but will also proceed, because your no was to nice. Their ego wont take it. Borderline to haressment. It helps to wear a wedding or engagement ring, but then the right guy wont approach you.
I would love to see relationship “gurus” like this create content teaching men how to respectfully treat and value women… unfortunately this isn’t a trending topic so there appears to be no way to monetize it. While some men have been raised to value women and some men are seeking out opportunities to learn how to value themselves and others, this is a very slow shift in society overall and isn’t representative of the majority. So Matthew, while you tell us to politely reject them, please also tell them to politely respect that objection. Maybe you’ll start a trend.
It’s interesting perusal this in 2021. Because as a woman perspective there is the tie of human psychology and then the idealism of man. Based in the article its saying to reject men nicely in order to get the guy you want. Fairly straight forward, but as a woman our physical body holds fear for the unsafely aspect of social environments and more. Does this really work? Who does this really serve? Could it be the matter of male idealism for woman or that women should go with their internal natural response fight or flight? There is alot of scenarios where I feel that sometimes even in rejection to certain men, as when women have been nice, can lead to alot of sketchy scenarios for a mans ego to persist and also the nice open ended rejection still implying the impression of kindness towards her leading to a dangerous consequences. So I wouldn’t state this as you SHOULD be kind to people of whom you reject, just for the opposition to see ” ahh she is a kind lady” Thats such old school bullshit, but is also well there is that ” He’s human and has feelings.” I would say its hard for a man to really understand a woman’s perspectives to that degree. If she is taking on the impressions of man, this would be a great article, but vice versa, not so much. I also would like to add that its that old fashion imprint of 1950’s women should come off friendly and nice. Its just twisted. Men should be more educated to learn women don’t necessarily feel safe out in public, so its not quite natural to be super empathetic to someone that maybe putting your body in stress.
A boy literally randomly started saying I love and after an hour of talking about how much he loves me and then he asked me out. I told him that I will tell him on Monday (it started Saturday) and he keeps on begging me to tell him and talking about how he thinks of me. I don’t have the guts to reject him and everyone tells me I should say yes but it doesn’t feel right ;-;
The problem I have is with my ex. I was in a relationship with him, and other men would compliment me. I would take it as innocent complements and thank them and get on with it, but my guy didn’t. He wanted me to go full bitch on them and tell them straight away to back off I’m in a relationship! Of course I know there are boundaries. I have had to be firm with a few, but it became a major reason why we broke up. Because of this I’m left feeling very uneasy around men, thinking they’ve all got some kind of agenda with me and I feel so naive. My ex made me feel like I’m so clueless when it comes to men and their intentions. Anyway, I’m a very friendly and caring person by nature, and I think a lot of men take that the wrong way…including my ex. He was convinced that Im an attention seeker and on the verge of cheating. Any advice?
Interesting, I have always wondered why would a man who I don’t want to be with,would be so brave to come close to me than someone who I really love. Little did I know this mysterious thought. But anyway I guess there shouldn’t be anything hindering a big guy, I mean, that’s annoying,how many ex’s does he have and really those incident would hinder him. I think sometimes,him being yours could just be a thought in his mind or fantasy not something that he really wants.
I keep having a funny thing happen to me, a guy comes over and trys to talk to me and he tell me by accident that he’s either got a girlfriend or whatever he’s a player or that he’s lies! I just stand there staring at him till he’s finished talking and say that’s nice and I’ll talk to you later! This has happened to me a few time’s at a friend’s back yard party. It’s not really funny, it’s just weird that all the guys are telling on themselves!
But they still will not know for sure that you’re not interested in their company unless you are sufficiently honest about that. Please tell us the “kind” ways to be very, VERY honest. When people know the truth about who really wants to talk to them and who doesn’t, they will appreciate who connects with them so much more. And, women (and men sometimes) are constantly harassed by these moments, because as humans we are still ignorant on how to deal with the truth and become stronger from it. So, what are the kind ways BE HONEST?? That’s the million dollar question.
wow this comment section is harsh, Im a guy and i get rejected by a lot of girls. But with all of u girls talking about how guys tell u ur bit*hes and what not, I’m actually really suprised. I could never say those kind of things to a girl I fancy. When I ask a girl out I always get left on ‘seen’ or hey sorry im busy LOL. I know its a lie but i have to play along with it. But even then, I think every girl I’ve liked, I’ve liked them for a good reason, because they’re fun to hang around and great people in general, and even if they reject me, that doesnt change my opinion on them.
So I’ve had an awkward situation where I went on a date and a guy( that was not my date) hit on me. The guy was just being a douche too because he knew we were on a date. In the beginning I was nice and cordial but I really didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to seem like a bitch but at the same time I didn’t want to let him (the other guy)think it was ok so I was kind of cold and stand offish. And I tried to turn my attention to my date most of the time. So I wasn’t completely rude. Would the same etiquette apply in that situation. Granted it was a first date.
I find the best way to reject a guy is just be honest and direct. Don’t say you have a bf when you don’t that is just fucking annoying and will just piss me off. I wont be pissed off that you said it, I will be pissed that you thought it was a good idea to drop your own standards and lie to me and yourself. If you want to let a guy down all you have to say is “I appreciate you coming over and saying hello, I know it takes courage, but I am not interested blah blah blah or you really are not my type”. That’s it, be firm and direct and you won’t have a problem.
Often when I meet a nice guy with whom I only want to be friends, I feel like he could very easy fall in love with me. And I dont want to disappoint him. And because we dont talk about what each of us wants, this leads quickly to the end of a friendship that never could have happened. I dont like that.but I dont know if the guy would still want to do anything with me when he knows that Im not attracted to him :/
He gave me red roses today, and I just now received a very long message where he confessed his feelings. He’s a really nice friend of mine, has helped me in tough times. He really goes out of the way to help me out with things. What he doesn’t know is I’m bisexual and I like this girl from college. How should I tell him that I don’t want anything more than friendship?
I met this guy and he asked me on a date, i was willing to go. But then i notice we know a lot of people in common and he runs hes mouth too much he mentions me and told several people he wants to date me… i dont like that because i fear his a “kiss and tell”. Relatiinships i had have been very private. I want to turn him down before a date. Nicely.
Background: I’m a female also polysexual (I don’t like boys) and I’m in middle school. There is this one boy in my class, he has been in my class for quite a few years (since elementary) and he has asked to date me countless times. I have rejected them all. Yesterday he asked to date me again, he already knows Im not into boys. And now I’m just finding ways to turn him down nicely .
so also you are telling women, if some guy does something inappropriate, that the shoudl just run or leave the venue, instead of standing up for themselves. i am totally for being kind, but if you feel unsafe, if someone is pressuring you or touching you or not respecting your borders,…then i donĀ“t think its a great idea to just run. if you feel safe enough i would suggest you stnad up for yourself and call it out. this way we all might learn that women arenĀ“t just helpless little creatures, whose only choice is to run and hide. š
The problem I have are guy friends that think they have a chance. I’ve tried a million different ways to express that we’d never date – i.e. my next door neighbor who is much older than me who is calling me hot with a “that’s like hearing that from my father”, etc. Being nice is usually a cat call for ‘she wants me’!
Honestly it is my sole goal to terrify the next guy. I’m fed up with my gym and I’ve only been going a couple of months. I get it, the tight clothes draw attention. Wanna look? Idc let him who have eyes see. But as a married woman who shouldnt feel like a constant trophy for a guy to obtain, I think times are warranted to be nasty because many of these men are being nasty. We arent some conquest for you to overcome. I know I’m ranting but I’m getting to the point where I dont even wanna go to my gym anymore and its robbing me of my outlet for stress to maintain my happiness. I’ve been followed to my car, interrupted blatantly one while on an actual set of my workout. Even today a guy came up from behind me and touched me without me even seeing him coming or giving him permission. All just to be a creep and say he liked my outfit. He was at least in his mid to late 60s. The guy who followed me to my car also interrupted my workout, wouldnt stop talking, then I told him I was married. He followed me on my IG and DMd me to “come through” one night and I told him he must’ve forgot I was married. As if that wasnt enough to tell him a 2nd time, he continued saying he forgets on married because I’m “so hot”. I am beginning to love and hate the gym and men are selfish assholes for doing this to us on a regular basis.
There’s currently a 65+ year old man who’s giving me super creepy stares every time he runs into me. I feel I have to walk different routes and stop going to my usual cafe’s and shops. Not like in a grandfatherly good natured way, but a predatory stare. Also he keeps saying that I am shy and timid. 🤢🤢🤢😬😬😬😱😱😱🤬🤬🤬
It’s quite simple actually: 1. Don’t try to lead guys you don’t like just say: “I’m sorry I am not interested “. It’s even better to say that than saying the boyfriend line because the boyfriend line is insulting. It’s like saying:”I don’t like you and I think you are stupid enough to believe this lie” so don’t do it. Just be straight up. 2. Now if after you said that the guy is still being persistent you have all the freedom to be rude .
Dude most of us are not going through life wanting the “other guy who’s perusal to see us” usually when we’re being hit on we’re out running errands, not at a singles night at a bar, like you seem to think given this scenario. You don’t really understand the problem, so you’re giving a solution without really understanding the problem.
K so, idk why I’m here, but theirs this guy on one game.. oof So, he told his friend he liked me, then his friend told me for getting back at him for something. So this is the weird part, iz kinda like mincraft, but with a lot rounder characters, I made my own character, so the dud said I’m “hot” so, my skin was like aiming for cuteness, it’s like looking at Tohru and Kana and saying kana is hot. So that’s weird
ugh tell me about it. I had tons of girlfriends that would be so rude to guys that I would feel embarrassed myself. Is not like my girlfriends were that hot that guys were never gonna get the rejection sooner or later. I hate seeing women treating guys like shit in bars because that is why guys end up being jerks to women in those places.
Dear Matthew, I recently used this tactic at a bar recently. This guy just didn’t get the hint and was noticeably intoxicated. I used the exact words you said and that did not work. I resorted to giving my friend the lets go signal and got away. Throughout the night he kept approaching me in a defensive manner but got away from it.
How to turn down a guy way older that you are not interested in. I ALWAYS attract men 20 years older. I don’t know why. I have an older casual friend that has started asking me out for dinner. I don’t want to be rude, but I am not interested in him that way. I did agree to go to meet at dinner, but now, not a week later, he asked again. I’m kind of freaking out a bit because I hate situations like this. How to nicely say, I’m not interested in that way without hurting his feelings? I am so done with super older guys. P.s. the photo and gamer is my son. Its a joint account for his safety.
Men don’t come up and talk to me in public (I’m 58). I just had a male neighbor explain that the reason is because I dress in what he calls modest, instead of what I call slutty. Sure, I dressed as sexy as my late husband wanted, but now as a single lady, I don’t feel it appropriate to dress sexy for strangers. I assume that would attract the scums.
Would someone please tell me a classy way to turn down guys that are relentless at bars? I turned this guy 5 times last sat.he wouldnt leave me alone! I freaked out when he touched my arm and said ” are u ok?” I said nothing because he was trying to do ANYTHING to start a conversation.so I turned away repeatedly and not said a word. Unbelievable.I hope to God I dont run into him again. I would hav dropped the boyfriend bomb but its a small town and word would hav spread.
Matthew…I have been divorced over 4 years, and have no desire “to date”, or have any relationship with any guy. I know the right type of person who is the best fit for me. Unfortunately I only know of one person like that, who is not available. But in the last year, and even recently there has been past guys I either went out with back in high school or guys that were just my friends contacting me. A few mention…go out for coffee.. dinner or drinks…to catch up. How do I politely not do that? I don’t want no one on one with anyone that I feel is in dating mode. I will not waste anyone’s time. One guy this week (was only a friend in a group of guy friends I had)…wants me to go with him and another old guy friend….on some jet skiis.. and quads…etc (he also mentioned dinner or etc). I tried hinting heavily…i am too tired for anything. So much more to say. I hinted he could “catch up” at my moms house…when I go to her house to work in her yard..lol But how do i nicely explain…i just want to be by myself? I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. I also do not want to share my life with just anyone. I can’t answer or respond easily on the spot to people. If I am somewhere and see them…no problem catching up. I just don’t want anything planned. Any ideas would be appreciated.
I’m only ten and I was at the store and I know wouldn’t want me to give a guy my age my number so I said no sorry he’s like do you have a brother and I said yes he said his number I said no sorry and he lives same town as me so I said maybe next time and he was kinda cute ngl but he only came when my stepmom was in the store he was hilarious he was with his 2 friends and they were like go and they were cute ngl and they had skate boards and scooters and I told my stepmom cause she just got back and was like what did they want and I said my number and she said has this happend before cause I’m ugly and I said no and she laughed and then I told my dad and he said 😲