Second marriages often involve one or two ex-spouses, unless the couple has been widowed. While most divorced couples manage to be civil and decent, remarriage after divorce can lead to resentment and a strained relationship. To prevent resentment, it is essential to address potential conflict before and during the second marriage.
India’s succession laws treat the second wife in the same manner as the first, but if the marriage is solemnized seven years after the first wife’s departure and the husband is unaware of her whereabouts or living situation, the second wife’s legal position may change. In the Islamic religion, it is not permissible to establish a relationship between a man and a woman who is ajanabiyya to him (lit. foreign, i.e., marriageable) before marriage.
Counselors can use counseling tips to save their second marriage. First, work hard to make things last, as the divorce rate for remarriage is higher than that of the first marriage. Second marriages often end in divorce, with 67% of all second marriages ending in divorce.
To stop a second marriage, it is important to be upfront about your feelings and concerns, build a culture of appreciation, respect, and tolerance, and pray five times a day after performing the wudu. If your husband is seeking another marriage, it is appropriate for him to discuss this matter and be transparent.
📹 “Can I Stop My Husband from Marrying a Second Wife?” | Mufti Menk
Mufti Menk’s video tackles a particularly important and sensitive issue within the context of Islamic marriage contracts—whether a …
Can a man love two wives?
A man can love two wives equally. A man can love two wives equally, but it takes work. Each wife should get the same amount of attention, respect, and affection.
Can a married man still love another woman?
Yes. People can love their spouse and another person. Our hearts can love more than one person at a time. But because it’s not accepted, some people hide their feelings instead of admitting them.
What should I do if my husband wants to marry another woman?
Find out what’s wrong and talk to him about it. Tell him what you’ll do if he does that. May Allah guide you and your husband. Tell him you’re unhappy and don’t want a second wife.
What is the walk away wife syndrome?
What is “walkaway wife syndrome”? Walkaway wife syndrome is when a wife leaves her husband because she is unhappy. The phenomenon begins when a wife feels disconnected from her spouse. She may or may not say she’s unhappy. If she does speak up, she may feel her spouse ignores her or dismisses her concerns. This makes her feel ignored and she withdraws emotionally. She may start living her life without her spouse.
Walkaway wife syndrome starts with the wife leaving because she feels unmet needs or dissatisfied. This may lead to less communication, less shared activities, and more focus on individual interests. Eventually, the wife may move out. Divorce follows. This final step often comes as a surprise to the spouse. If the couple doesn’t divorce, they may lose respect for each other. Some call this “dead marriage syndrome.”
Can a man love his second wife?
I love my second wife more than my first. My first wife and I were married for five years, and my second wife and I will be married for 15 years this year.
What is the walkaway wife syndrome?
Sometimes, one spouse leaves the other suddenly. The other spouse is shocked. This is called “walkaway wife syndrome.” This term is used for when a spouse, often the wife, feels alone, neglected, and resentful in a bad marriage and decides to leave. What is walkaway wife syndrome? The term “walkaway wife syndrome” suggests a sudden decision, but it often comes after a long period of conflict. The divorce takes years to happen. After trying to get her spouse to deal with their relationship issues, the wife finally decides it’s pointless. She has thought about her options and is ready to leave the marriage.
How do I stop second wife syndrome?
Final thoughts. I still feel insecure sometimes. Even after seven years, I still compare myself to her. But all the good things in my life make up for the bad. If we leave the past behind, accept our partner, and focus on the future, being the second wife will be better and easier. We got a second chance at love. We can rewrite our story.
I’d love to hear from you. How are you managing your insecurities as a second wife? If you like this post, check out my other post. Building a healthy relationship.
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Do 2nd marriages last?
Many couples think remarriage will make them happy, but the statistics say otherwise. Census data shows that over 60% of second marriages end in divorce, compared to around 50% of first marriages. Blended families can cause problems with stepchildren and rivalries between co-parents. There are many other difficulties and stresses with remarriage. Trust and intimacy are key to success.
Everyone has issues. When people remarry, they often bring unhealthy relationship patterns and trust issues from their first marriage that can ruin the new relationship. Sometimes couples rush into marriage without knowing each other well.
Can a married man truly love another married woman?
A good man won’t act on it and ruin his marriage and the other woman’s friendship. He’ll be friendly but keep his distance.
How to get husband to leave?
What if we can’t agree? If your spouse won’t leave the house, you can ask the police to help, get a protective order, or get divorced. You can’t evict your spouse from their home without using one of these methods. Call the police. In Texas, the police can only remove your spouse from the residence if you report a crime against them, such as assault or terroristic threat. After you call the police, they will either ask your spouse to leave or arrest them.
Either way, the police can’t keep your husband or wife from coming back to their home. If the police arrest your spouse for family violence, you can ask the police or a judge to order them to stay away from you and your home for a limited time.
What to do when he marries a second wife?
Ezekiel said, “The woman must stay calm.” She shouldn’t yell at her husband or complain about his decision. She should see a marriage counselor with her husband.
“The reason men take a second wife is because they get bored with their first wife. They’re bored with their first wife. Some men say they love their first wife but that nothing has changed since they married her. They said they’re tired of seeing the same face. “Any woman who wants to stop her husband from taking a second wife should do so in a calm way.” Another marriage counselor, Mrs. Helina Jones, said women should take care of their appearance and home.
“I am against polygamy, but some men told me that their first wife made them marry a second wife. They said their first wife didn’t care for the home. When I speak to wives struggling with a second wife, I tell them to wake up. “Wives should wake up to their roles as mothers and wives,” she said.
📹 Can She Threaten Her Husband With Divorce If He Takes a Second Wife? || The Muslim Family Q&A | AMAU
BarakAllahu feekum. #AMAU #TimHumble #MuslimFamily.
If women are possessive of their husbands their labeled weak and insecure (men look down on them), but if men are possessive of their women, while they don’t even want her to look at another men, they get praised. I find this a double standard. Isn’t the monogamy clause in the contract a Hanbali matter?
Sisters know your rights in Islam. Dont let anybody persuade you to ignore those rights and protections that are given to you by our beautiful religion. I havent heard of any muslim man taking a second or even a third wife that has herself been married before or has children from a previous marriage. With the exception of Aisha (ra), all the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives were either widowed or divorced. Brothers seem to be very selective about which parts of the Sunnah need to be followed. Being on benefits does not count as being able to provide for mutiple wives and their subsequent children. Noone even talks about the affect on the children of the first wife. The way that many brothers conduct second marriages is destroying families and scarring their children.
It takes a very secure women to not accept anything less then her rights and divorce a man who disrespects her especially because most of society chastises divorced women – thus it will Take a lot of security and bravery on a women to not accept such emotional abuse, add the clause and then act upon it if a man deceptively married her by agreeing to the clause and then broke it
If he breaks the clause or cheats on his wife then she has every right to seek divorce. He clearly was a deceptive person and not a moral person whose looking to deceive people or break clauses and marry on the wrong pretenses. Don’t marry a guy that can’t agree to the nikkah clauses you have every right to and don’t marry women that require clauses that you’re not man enough to abide by
I told my husband before marriage that I do not want to marry a polygamist because I don’t want a complicated marriage. He said that he only ever wants me. He knows that moment he talk about have another wife I’ll leave him right away. For me if my husband is considering another wife it means he doesn’t love and respect me anymore.
Polygamy is only mentioned once in a Surrah about women’s right. So if a woman doesn’t want to be in a polygamous marriage, she has the right to decline and, a man, as a Quwaam is not supposed to break his first family only to start a new one. What kind of Quwaam would that be? Although, men running after many women is a sign of weak men. Also, it’s Sunnah to add the clause to not allow the husbands to marry another in the wive’s lifetime, because it was our Prophet PBUH who added this clause to Fatima’s r.a marriage contract and forbade her husband from taking multiple wives. I think the scholars seem to have amnesia when it comes to that Sunnah.
I mean emotionally usually, it creates jealousy and it takes a long time for me to really understand the wisdom of Allah s.w.t and because I came from a background where my mother is divorced because of second marriage. But truly, Allah s.w.t is full of wisdom and he had given so much right to a woman that it is beautiful, so I am going to accept when Allah s.w. t allows polygamy for men as long as he has not transgress the right of of his wife as a woman. If he transgresses, then he should release the wife. It is very difficult to digest it because women are jealous in nature but Allah s.w. t loves you more than your husband so there must be some reason why your husband is married to another woman also and it will benefit us if we sabr. ❤
You are very right abt being a good husband first. I have experience in that field and I would like to tell all the young ladies out there: The best husband is a loving, supportive husband who has only you as a wife The second best is a husband who is loving and supportive but has another wife The third best is a husband who is not loving and supportive but you are his only wife. Actually, this is not a good husband. And the worst husband is he who is not loving and supportive and has another wife on top of that. And ladies, please, if and when you marry a man who is already married: It is by no means permissible for you to try and get rid of the first wife. This would be the meanest thing you can do, but I have seen it again and again.
“O Allah, make my religion easy for me by virtue of which my affairs are protected, set right for me my world where my life exists, make good for me my Hereafter which is my resort to which I have to return, and make my life prone to perform all types of good, and make death a comfort for me from every evil.”
Include into your marriage contract that he can’t marry anyone else. And if he still wants to have more wives… Dear women in this world leave that poor excuse of human being and let him go wherever he wants. Divorce that filth and start your own life. Create your own beautiful days alone or with someone else. It’s your choice.
I agree it’s about insecurity, but not on the part of the woman. It shows that she is expressing doubts as to whether the man she’s chosen can provide security and can actually be loyal. If you feel a man is besotted with you and won’t choose anyone else, then you won’t put in the clause because there is no need to. But if then, such a person brings a second wife later, you will simple divorce them, because a second wife was never on the table for you. The point of the clause, presumably in the mind of the women, is to protect their marriage, but whether or not the clause is in there, this woman will divorce that man if he ever does introduce a second wife. If you’re questioning whether to put this clause in there, I would say seriously question yourself on who you are choosing to marry, and what is it you are observing in his character that is making you want to put in such a clause.
i think the matter is being taken out of proportion lol … islam allows polygny doesn’t encourage it also its not allowed in some circumstances.. for instance if a man is stuggulign to provide for his wife and kids, would the Islamic court allow him to marry a second wife???? both parties need to discuss beforehand what they want and prefer and find someone like minded… the issue is men don’t even want the women who are okay with polygamy but they want the women are not okay so it feels like a game to them. its ego problem
I understand this is a sensitive topic for womenfolk. But please Please do your research before giving fatwas. No you are not allowed to divorce your husband just because he marries a second wife. If he does not give your rights as a wife like right to maintenance, equal share of time among the wives, fair treatment etc then only you can demand divorce. Demanding divorce without valid reason is a big sin as there’s a hadith : “If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of Paradise is forbidden for her”. (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunan At-Tirmidhi, 1187.). And about prophet (saw) not wanting Ali to get married again, that’s true but do you know Ali had a slave with home he had intimate relations and prophet knew this and gave his approval? Hadith: The Prophet (ﷺ) sent `Ali to Khalid to bring the Khumus (of the booty) and I hated `Ali, and `Ali had taken a bath (after a sexual act with a slave-girl from the Khumus). I said to Khalid, “Don’t you see this (i.e. `Ali)?” When we reached the Prophet (ﷺ) I mentioned that to him. He said, “O Buraida! Do you hate `Ali?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Do you hate him, for he deserves more than that from the Khumlus.” (bukhari 4350)
Sheikh answered the question in a very diplomatic way, understandably so because of the influence of western ideologies like feminism on our sisters. But before you put such a clause, where does it end? What if a guy wants a clause that she must be a virgin, or never had a boyfriend, or has never been touched by a non-Marham, or intimacy 24/7 for the rest of the marriage, or she must quit her job or education, or she can never leave the house, or she must change phones and get rid of her past life. where do these clauses end? This is something that once opened, cannot be closed back. I believe Allah has already perfected this religion for us, which is why no addition can be made into the religion. And we have to be careful in trying to make Haram what Allah has made halal, which usually leads to the reverse of people making halal what Allah has made Haram. Be careful of following the footsteps of shaitan. Jazzakallah
please reply .if 1 wife ans 8 yrs daughter facing Allah ke azmayesh,husband not provide any maintenance but got another marriage without inform 1 wife in the Islam not give permission, how i will solve my problem can u please suggest me.🙏my husband and law members big frauder,i am syed but law members told me i am unlucky my husband gifted property to his brother without inform me. where is my 8 yrs daughter.
Hmm I think If She Oppose The Idea now both of there Idea’s are Conflicting so they both should just get Divorce And That Man Should seek womens who will allow him marry Other Girls And That woman should seek man who will marry her and won’t take a 2nd wife It’s the best for Both of them . They shouldn’t stay in a that kind of relationship.
We live in wild times. Its hard enough to get one wife these days let alone two. Marriage has gotten lot harder even though its not supposed to be that hard. Modern women are influenced from western values have become more entitled, expecting everything from their men when they have nothing to offer in return. They prefer career over marriage. Parents use their children as bargaining chips to get more dowry from each other and seal the deal with the highest bidder. Marriage now has become a business where bride and groom have a price tag . Monetary benefits are more important than character.
Women outnumber men massively so allowing multiple wives is a mercy from Allah and ensures that every woman can find a real man. However when every woman starts to say I want my husband all to myself then what they are doing is creating more lonely Muslim women. Its easy to claim you have love for the Ummah but alhamdulilah Allah tests us in the best of ways. This religion isn’t about acting on your feelings it’s about doing whats right regardless of how you feel. Those are the successful.
Noting to do with insecurity just lack of trust. It’s simple if the husband wants another wife and you have no confidence in his ability to be fair equally divorce him; no body has a right to force you to live in conditions less than what Allahs has ordained for you. It’s beyond me why men would invite such high risk of sin from not living up to the expectation that the Prophet has set out for men which are so high to begin with you don’t even have time for more than one wife. I barely see 1 out of ten passably happy marriages in monogamous society, what hell of a drama it must be for non monogamous communities. Advice to men: pray more; do more charity, focus on ahira not sex with different women.
Most women against polygamy are either already married or still young. Go check up on women in their late 30s and 40s, I’ve seen staunch feminists who swore never to “settle”, settle down as a 3rd or 4th wife. Maybe when you fall into such a situation, you will understand the hikmah and wisdom behind Allah’s decree
The more possessive and insecure we first wives are, while giving our husbands no peace at home, no proper food, comfort or sex, we force our husbands to do Zina. So we first wives are at fault ! Also, if a man has been promiscuous before marriage, it is blund to happen after marriage too ! So what Allah has permitted, who are we and why should we dare to stop our husbands from marrying again while remaining married to us as their first wives ?! Alhamdulillah I am happy and we wives are like sisters to one another with no ounce of comeptition amongst us or jealousy, envy or hatred against each other. Most importantly my husband and our families with us two wives are at peace with each others, even the kids and we all respect one another. Alhamdulillah.
First a fall our imaan is very weak we women are very selfish some time we only think about our self but some time we forget that Allah is the one who is the creations of everything. When he himself gave permission to mens then we women dont have rights to point out anything on men. I know its hurt a lot but in second point of view we should think about tat woman who is widow divorce if mens have capability then look for the women’s in the same way. He should take everything accordingly.
Most women don’t know men. That’s the problem. When did Allah say he made him for you only. Most women rather watch her sister in islam live on the streets than marrie a men Allah has given plenty to share with another sister in need. Women will never understand. Allah has a wisdom on why he allows this.
Thank you for addressing this in a way that’s not one sided, as a Muslim woman it’s exhausting constantly being made to feel (by religious leaders) like my well being (not just materialistic but mental and spiritual as well) are less important to Allah then man’s desire to have more than 1 woman. Again, thank you for not giving a selfish response to this topic/situation. It’s halal doesn’t mean mandatory or good for everyone.
People in this comment section Wallahi you are missing the point. Allah will never force a women to bear more than she can handle…mental health issues. Depression and just sadness anger and resentful are all things many women deal with because of polygamy I know a few who left the deen all together. Women now can provide for themselves and if she cant agree to this lifestyle then let the man practice this halal life and she can move on…simple very simple people no need to call names in the comment section it’s all about choices
No women has to agree to anything. Some women may accept polygamy and some may not. A women isnt any less or “bad” because she doesnt except it. Shes human and she has the right to feelings. I personally would never except being a first,second wife etc. So she has the right to divorce and he can find someone who is okay with what he wants. Dont feel bad if u cant accept it ur not bad or a bad muslim theres no such thing and nor do u have to accept it. May Allah bless us with whats best for us.
~ The Second Wife ~ A second wife is not a mistress That you hide under your mattress She is not a concubine that her rights is lesser than mine. She is not your playmate that you use only in bed Not a trial course that you plan to divorce If the first wife was made in heaven A second wife was not made from hell If the first shall be your childrens’ mother The second is not just their babysitter You protect your first wife like a diamond And think the other was just another stone When you wake up and realize you can’t afford the two She has to work and spend on her own. Remember that to be fair is your duty With her comes a greater responsibility Think carefully before your try cause the Second Wife could ruin your life.
If someone is not gonna want to be in a relationship anymore, he or she can decide to go..no need for permission of anyone. End of the story. I wont be depressed all my life just because my husband wants to fulfill his lust…what about me wanting more money? Can a guy give me that? he cant..so i go..this is crap of lying to your wife also..
Two of my neighbours are women who are 2nd secret wives of two rich men. Theyre very young and beautiful and the men are old are not that attractive. Old enough to be their fathers. Their first wives are in different countries. The women are often sad. And live alone most of the time. I dont know but from what they tell us neither of the men treats them properly. Thats how many men are these days. They wont even pray will drink alcohol but when it comes to wives they become islamic and say that its a sunnah… they need to be good muslims first.
Realistically women are extremely complex and in this day and age if a man does not have the emotional intelligence, finances, moral character, and knowledge of his deen as a prerequisite, I do not think it should be entertained by the brother but I have not studied the deen formally and know less than nothing about Islam yet this is how I feel.
It’s better to just stipulate monogamy in the marriage contract in the beginning not to be controlling but so you have the choice of walking away if you know something like that would cause you to be unhappy and suffer for the rest of your life. If a man is being very argumentative about it just leave it and marry someone else. Many men don’t mind in real life despite what the minority say on social media lol but they’ll try to convince you all men are combatant just to force you to give up. Just move on if it’s not for you. Also ask Allāh for a monogamous partner often if that’s what you really want and seek refuge with Him (often) from ending up in a polygynous situation. It’s not compulsory at the end of the day. Also I end with this Hadith where a woman sought khula when she was just very unhappy in her marriage despite no fault in he husband so what of when a man does something he knows will traumatize her over and over again for the rest of her life ? the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammaas (may Allah be pleased with him) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I do not find any fault with Thabit ibn Qays in his character or his religious commitment, but I do not want to commit any act of kufr after becoming a Muslim.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to her, “Will you give back his garden?” Because he had given her a garden as her mahr. She said, “Yes.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to Thabit: “Take back your garden, and divorce her.
I personally think women do not need to wait patiently and see how they will deal with their husbands second marriage to decide on khula, mainly because especially in the west and the society we live in, things which are not the norm can lead to severe mental and emotional pain leading to physical ailments. Men shouldn’t take women frm cultures where it js not the norm of second marriages and subject a woman to that reality.
This man in the article is very biased, to be frank. Muhammad ﷺ also married only Khadijah ra. until her last day. Only her. She was divirced (twice) und also much older than Muhammad ﷺ. And he ﷺ still loved her so much, even after her death. Nobody remembers this Sunnah. And this kind of love. I have the feeling that people nowadays don’t know what love is or relationship between husband and wife actually means anymore. Nobody wants to take their rights away, audhubillah. Nobody dares to do that. But is one woman not enough? Is this kind of love nonexistent? Subhanallah. Muhammad ﷺ never married many women because of lust or something like that – but because because of Islamic, political and social reason. He ﷺ could’ve been married to the most beautiful young woman who is also a virgin who was alive at his age of 25, but he ﷺ did not. He ﷺ got married to multiple women when he ﷺ got much older and he did so for the reasons that I’ve already mentioned.
Husband has the Islamic right for having wives. And wives have right for khulah. Get Khulah if you don’t want to be forceful be with a man who has another wife. KHULAH is your Islamic right. Religious blackmail and forced marriages have no place in Islam. Don’t threaten your husband since Allah has made is permissible. Allah has gave you the right for khula if you don’t want your husband. Islam is not a terrorist religion. Women has also divorce right. Husband can’t clearly be just with you. So liberate yourself. Remember Allah will never accept any form of domestic volience abuse even if it’s emotional and psychological. Keep Allah in mind and let him marry. You free yourself frome the painful shackles.
Often people forget the second woman who comes into the marriage, once the man realizes the stress and problems that crop up after he takes a second wife he cannot withstand it and promptly finds a fault in the second woman and divorces her. The woman who agrees to be a second wife is abandoned and kicked to the curb in a lot of cases.
Its not a threat when a woman doesnt want to have poly.its not her fearing she cannot be truthful to Allah.it doesnt mean she is afraid of sinnig,it just meant she doesnt want to have poly.its a normal thing.stop putting words in womens mouth and making them feel guilty when they dont was a poly by saying “its bc she fears on sinning/not being able to be a great muslimah” .That’s guilt tripping women who dont want it.Even the pious ones.we are allowed to dislike it,nothing haram or sinning about it istaghfaullah.
listen, a wife can not stop her husband from a second marriage but she doesnt have to stay in the marriage either, it is her right to choose to stay or not once there is a potential second wife, now if she stays and is patient then she is rewarded but she doesnt have to. also she can not threaten her husband with their kids if he chooses to marry another woman. and Allahu aalam
for me as a woman or as a first wife I will never leave my husband though Even if he marries another woman again Because the important thing is that your husband will not leave you even if he has another wife it is better for the man of four women to marry than for him to marry someone else and then leave you So my only advice to muslimahs around the world You must understand that polygamy is a sunnah As long as it is able to equalize the rights of wives there is no issue there You are muslimah right?So you should already know that it is sunnah
well.. sometimes, i feel quite good with polygamy being said or put as something men can do, cuz from it i can recognize the way this men behave or how their mind work on this topic for myself personally, from their point of view on it, i see how some has a bit care abt someone feeling and some just keep saying its halal and dismiss the feeling that is there directly and doesnt seem to a bit considering in their speech on how the women said, its hurting her (i know its halal and who am i to judge God rules) so i just pinpoint the behavior and the act on some humans. As example, a prophet himself marrying another of his wives after mother Khadija has passed away showed how much he truly love her and we can feel it in his story that makes me think and feel, with the prophet personality, i wouldn’t mind him marrying up to 10 tbh, we can feel his pure and sincere intention. This also helps me looking at who is the best of their women as its mentioned, the best of u is the best to their women. Another is, so if u dont even show a bit emotional side on why it hurt women so much rather than telling its halal, so… hurm nvm, yes its halal but its matter of phycological approach which is u showed me, u cared abt my feeling enough to make me think that u actlly qualified to hv more than one wife (example). I also sees this rule abt letting men to hv more wife is as part of a test and its just like telling u, lets see, what will u do if its halal lol (this just my joke haha). Overall, im ok with polygamy and i dont blame other if they dont want it cuz its sunnah, not a must.
I come from monogamous society….i will stipulate this condition inshallah for my own security…in my society men at time of marriage demads dowry from bride father …couldnot even pray 5 times a day so how could women bear a co wife….if i love my husband so much and if he takes another wife and if i have to remain with him i will definetely loses loving him..i can not be able to pass smile when he sees me, when he demands intamcy i will be just a body for him because i can not ignore that he has another wife…i will do my duties but not loving him and maybe after sometime i start hating him….because i can provide for my self so i do not need gifts or money from him that can console me
God create men. And when God saw Adam sad and lonley, he create the woman from his ribs. ONE woman he gave him. God did Not create 4 woman for the men. God give Adam ONE woman. Men has taken the so call “right” to marriage 4 wifes. It is not God who give that right. Men had put that right on woman. It s Not fear, it is impossible! Share the same men sexually, economically, attention, love.. it’s NOT easy. I admire those woman who does it. They are Brave!
Marrying 4 wives is man right. Men never bother his first wife will be suffer from this, he did it because his desire and call it his right. When married women see other men that’s call sin but men get love and marry it’s his right. While putting some one in pain giving life for other one won’t be fair. Your doing it only for your desire by using islam .
If we read tafsir of aayat 3 surah nisa, Allah prohibiting the selfish men to marry orphan girl and giving them advice to marry girl of your choice whether two or three or four only if you are just among them or marry slave girl (without Meher) ( as they don’t want to give Meher) or contained with one. It’s Highly demotivating not to practise polygamy. Polygamy is highly discouraged in Islam just like slavery, you’re allowed to have slaves but not encouraged. As it’s mentioned in Hadith prophet ordered men who have multiples wives like 10 give talaq to 6 and have one but they disliked so prophet told them max you can have four by doing justice only. Sheikh here are all promoting Arab Culture not Islam.
Wanna ask u one thing that if a man marries another woman when he is already married bt the 1st wife is unwilling to accept or not 100% sure that she can be happy seeing them together and even afraid that she can do harm to the 2nd wife,in that situation what that 1st wife should do?? Some people say 1st wife have to accept the husband 2nd,3rd or 4th wife even if she is unwilling bt the quran says ” the best of u are those who are best to their women “. So how can the person be best if he hurts his wife’s feelings. Moreover Islam gives women the highest respect and rights compare to any other religion. So tell me that if a women’s husband marry another woman and she can’t accept that and file for a divorce can she get a divorce 🤔. Bcz I saw in a drama that husband 2nd marriage can’t be the reason of a divorce. In that circumstances what can the women do?? If she gets too much suffocated or get jealous by seeing her husband with another woman and also she can ‘t divorce him she can do suicide or murder the another women🙂. Bcz she can’t do anything . So is it her fault that she did murder or suicide ?? She was helpless what she could have done. And the last thing if a women is too much need of her husband bt the day was for the 2nd wife . So in that situation what should the husband do??
To those men who want to practice polygamy because they are super men thinking about those many women nowdays who have no husband.(most of those who bring this issue is trying to convince us..that he is doing that because he is a superman helping the women in need…without him wanting that for his sexual reasons) You can go ahead and marry 4 women…that is your right…because one woman is not enough for you, while thinking it is not my right to say that having a husband for 91 days a year is not enough for me??? By the way…many women feel off having a sexual relationship with their husbands while knowing that he does with other women…or finding his romance with her meaningful while she knows he had the same senario with his other wife. So dont assume that any woman who doesnt have a husband is needy…and she prefers dealing with the matter I mentioned above…sacrificing her mental and emotional health to have you as a man in her life
Where did you get this info from? Can you state the shyookh? Assim Al Hakeem has a completely different take on this and he makes it clear it’s ok to ask for divorce and it’s ok to stipulate it in your marriage contract. He’s quite knowledgeable msA it’s unlikely he just disregarded reputable scholarly opinions
Polygamy at the time of the prophet was a major part of their culture not only in Arab but also in other parts of the world. But polygamy today is way too different and difficult to accept for any woman or society. Allah allowed polygamy for the welfare of the widow. But now people gas just sexualized this concept. Nouman Ali khan has explained polygamy in the following article, just a bit- youtu.be/v7YBhhQPdbo Men can never imagine how difficult it is for a woman to see his husband taking a second wife. It can cause her heart to bleed out of pain but they just care about their selves. It is better that a woman put this condition in the marriage contract and discuss it before marriage to avoid any problems after marriage.
Sisters perusal, by Allah, if your husband is a good man, a man upon his deen, who is good to you, and who fears Allah, who is a good father, pls don’t make it difficult for him to marry again, this is coming from a man my beloved sisters, if he seems like a man who will abuse his rights, then I understand, but if he is a just man, a man of truth, Wallahi it is better for you to be patient, and your reward is from Allah. JazakuAllah khairan.
This is very interesting and i have to admit unfortunately a lot of my sisters who dont want their husbands to gave a second wife (which is their right) dont fully appreciate the situation and often tines go out of their way to cause conflict and get their husband to divorce or relinquish any rights to second wife. Sadly i think its usually the second wife that suffers the most because she never gets to experience a family life because of all the stress from the first wife. And is left to run her household as a single parent the very thing she was trying to escape 😢 Please dear sisters, our sisters have many reasons to be a second wife dont feel they are trying to take your place or wrecking your marriage. They are simply looking for a solution within the parameter of Islam. Lets stop and think, ratio of men to women. Dont be a readon for fitna in this life, there is plenty already. Help our sisters to feel a part of the community and respected as a wife by allowing your husbands to remarry should he wish to.
Sub’haanAllaah. I’m reading the comments and I’m very disappointed at the state of most of our sisters. What happened to hearing and obeying as soon as ALLAAHU sub’haanahu wa ta’ala legislates something?! All this back and forth arguing and fighting over something Allaah has made lawful for men. Sub’haanAllaah. Fear Allaah all of you. Who are you to come and object to the legislations of Allaah after He has allowed it?! Fear Allaah and keep your emotions aside. Ultimately what matters is who has attained Allaah’s love and is admitted to al-Firdous al-a’laa
Polygamy is a solution to many problems in society. I don’t know why we still argue over it. It has been decided by Allah (swt) and His Prophet (saw). Who are we to question them? Anyway, I get why women would not want polygamy. Even the Prophets wives became jealous and at times reacted irrationally. However, these Muslim women were more about the deen and not greed or nafs. That is why they were overall happy with being co-wives. Overall happy does not mean they were absolutely happy with everything. Just overall they were content. Which is natural with anything even in a good stable marriage… you’d be content overall, but little things you may not like. Anyway, I don’t understand how the Ulema can think it is okay to write in a contract that a husband cannot take a second wife. This is like saying: Allah wrote in His book that you should choose two’s, threes or fours, but I am writing in a marriage contract that you cannot listen to this advice that our Creator has written in the Quran. Wallahi that sounds similar to Kufr. Imagine, giving a free pass and banning people from following parts of the Quran. Madness.
If a woman can write in the contract something that strips the man of his rights, granted it’s his decision to agree or not, and that this is something Islamically valid, then on that same note, can the man do the same thing to a woman? Let’s say he wants to marry a working woman who at the time doesn’t realize the benefit of taking her right to be financially provided for by her husband, so her husband to be puts in the contract that he will not be paying for her, and she signs it…this is okay? Please clarify ustadh Tim Humble. JazakAllah khair
Simple really… the men who have loads of money and are generally kind of arrogant will marry many times regardless of any impact on women or kids… so women please stop looking at money and marry a guy with a good character and good heart. I can honestly tell you there are more good men in this world than good women. I’m saying this as a woman. If you can be your husband’s best friend and you chose him for companionship over money these matters won’t even come anywhere near you. Not only does my husband have respect for me but also whatever he makes he gives me and he trusts me. I don’t splash out money on makeup or waste it on expensive clothes. I don’t disrespect him and we can laugh and joke. I honestly love him so much that if I couldn’t fulfill his needs I would actually wish for him to have another wife and I would never want him to feel sad or upset. I honestly don’t think I know many couples around me who even care about each other. Women place this comment of you can’t get a second wife yet I ask as his wife what level is your relationship on? Ppl are in relationships just because they have to be, it’s like the women just felt she was getting a bit old so she just got married or the guy feels like his mum wanted him to marry so he just married. These marriages are based on what if I could have married someone better. This is shaytaans way of making problems. In all honesty the men who I know of who have second wife’s have a certain character- they are not close to any woman.
4:3\r وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا۟ فِى ٱلْيَتَـٰمَىٰ فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَـٰثَ وَرُبَـٰعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا۟ ٣\r \r If you fear you might fail to give orphan women their ˹due˺ rights ˹if you were to marry them˺, then marry other women of your choice—two, three, or four. But if you are afraid you will fail to maintain justice, then ˹content yourselves with˺ one or those ˹bondwomen˺ in your possession. This way you are less likely to commit injustice.\r — Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran
my question is that should we be giving a timeline for or amount of effort that is put into trying to make the marriage work in polygyny before there’s a final decision of “i can’t mentally handle this and it’s affecting my deen and my ability to fulfill his rights” because i have seen women who right away were not even willing to make it work at all and were immediately set on leaving as soon as it happened and took no effort to see if they could or could not handle it over time instead did everything in their power to leave using this reasoning that they could not handle it. but it may be that at the moment the situation makes us feel like “i can’t do this” and act on impulse demanding a khula and even if it takes time the very fact that we would already have this mindset only makes us not willing or open minded to make it work at all before making a big decision like that. i feel like we should atleast enourage us as woman to sit for a bit take a breath and atleast test the waters and see for a few months with an open heart amd mind because it may be that we are capable of handling more than we think and actually are able to make the situation work but after all the efforts, counseling, trying to make it work and trying our best to fulfill each others rights and work on being a loving couple and working to create a healthy relationship sincerely and it still doesn’t work and it’s still creating issues that are ruining your sense of deen, mental health, emotional well-being after months or years of trying to make it work then i think that calls for talking to eachother and sheikhs to mediate what the situation calls for.
A woman should always be alone at home while husband and kids are out.She cannot work and go anywhere without her husband’s permission.So easy to say that she should manage to be alone and keep herself busy. 2.She cannot divorce a man for being polygamous. 3.She can’t attempt suicide. What should she do? How long should she be patient.
I need help here my brothers and sisters in islam, I got married to a convert and after 2months of our marriage he wants to marry another wife. My problem is not even that, he will never perform his salah nor even trying to get knowledge about his deen, only after helping him learn suratul Fatia, salah and the main dhikr after salah and sometimes he will pray when am at home with him but he gets upset quickly then he will never pray go out drink alcohol pick women and bring in our house and ask me to live. I fill betrayed and deceived that he only married me bcz he needed permit to stay in my country since hes not a citizen here but he wants to live here permanently. He is narcistic and every friday if I do a mistake of asking him to drive me to Jumaa prayers that day he will ask me to live his house. I told him if its Allahs kadr he will marry another wife the only things i adviced him to do is learn his deen first and be steadfast in his prayers and that ill even help him in finding a good woman to be the second wife but he told me am controlling him and he knows what hes doing, he said his happiness is having 2 women living under the same roof no matter how much I tried to tell him happiness and tranquility is only found in Allah. I need some advice and your duas plz, I believe Allah will never burden a soul with more than it can bear
What about a man that marries a western American muslims, but marrying other women in hopes she will give him a usa visa so he and the real wife he wanted can live and work in usa while he wanted to ship American wife to his country of Egypt? The other wives which have been several and ended in khula except the American wife?
Can we notice 2 points 1. A women should always be self INDEPENDENT and keep earning, if one day husband shows up with a new wife, she can take divorce easily and not live a oppressed sad life, 2. The male female ratio is 1:1, so if a man is taking 2and wife, someone is deprived of a wife, which is bad. Let all mean have one wife atleast
Some men need to lower there gaze even more! Stop perusal filth stop going to free mix gyms, stop with the second wife threats Stop getting the wife pregnant cuz your selfish not to use protection! This nonsense is getting out of hand you can not handle the first wife and give her Islamic rights so you want to Marry again to a barren or virgin women?!
Its so hypocrate on the side of the women when on one side she claim by loosing some how her husband shatter their life(which in reality still stay with her) and on the other hand she is ok to loose him completely and destroy family life as well. I believe its only selfishness and shaitan play with their minds. Where is your submission to one God. La ilaha illa Allah is the only way forward.
I get why men would want second wives. But what I don’t get is why do some women want to become second wives, when there are many single men. Why be apart of a marriage, knowing you most likely will cause pain, heartbreak and emotional distress to another women (and possibly her kids), and potentially to them too.
I recently told my wife that I had s desire to marry in future in sha Allah. This led to a huge argument. Basically, she said that she would want a divorce as I cant bear it. Plus my mum even put a lot emotional pressure on me not to. Due to our indo pak culture, this will lead to a massive fall out between relatives. There would be a lot of consequences. This had left me confused. Nevertheless, I know its halal. Any advice?
Never consult a woman on Islamic ruling the same way a woman can’t be a judge or ruler of an ummah. This is the reality and women prove this reality by living in denial and emotionally perceiving the world rather than logically. To most women, a husband committing zina (may Allah protect our ummah) is better than him taking a wife after her.