If you received a save-the-date but haven’t received a formal invitation to a friend’s wedding, it’s safe to assume it got lost in the mail. Before contacting the couple, ask a friend who is going to the wedding to do some sleuthing for you. If you’re not invited to the wedding, don’t think you’re automatically invited after hearing about it.
When dealing with friends not invited to the wedding, etiquette is tricky. You can either say to the bridesmaid that you weren’t invited to the wedding and the bride will get back to the bride. At this point, the bride will clear up a misunderstanding and send you an invitation or you will remain uninvited. If you remain uninvited, drop the friend like a bad habit.
It’s disappointing not to be invited to a friend’s wedding, but it’s important to handle it with empathy and understanding. Weddings can be limited in numbers, and young people can have huge circles of friends. It’s important to remember that weddings can be expensive, with the average US wedding costing around $33,000.
There are several reasons why a friend wouldn’t invite you to their wedding, such as the couple may be dealing with issues or the other friends, other than Sarah, know you haven’t been invited. When you’re not invited to a friend’s wedding, it’s important to handle it with empathy and understanding.
📹 Coworker Excluded Just Me From His Wedding And His Life Became A Crapshow..
Coworker Excluded Just Me From His Wedding And His Life Became A Crapshow… #reddit #redditupdate #redditrelationship.
Do you give a gift if you are not invited to the wedding?
Just send the note! Or just the gift. Or maybe you don’t want to. Your choice. If you were invited, I’d say give a gift or write a card. If you weren’t invited or going, anything goes. Ask Caroline a question. Email us at [email protected].
Caroline Moss hosts Gee Thanks, Just Bought It!, a product-recommendation podcast produced by Forever35. She co-wrote Hey Ladies! and a series about women in work for kids called Work It, Girl. She’s been writing and editing online for 10 years and lives in LA.
Is it rude not to invite someone to your wedding?
The person on the invite must be there. Don’t bring others. You can say no, but it would be weird to do so if this is your live-in partner or spouse.
Is it rude to not go to someone’s wedding?
Think carefully about whether to go. If you immediately think of ways to get out of going to a wedding, take a moment to think about why. If you can’t go, that’s ok. It’s not rude to not go to a wedding. If you decide not to go, let the couple know by RSVPing. Do you worry you can’t afford to go to the wedding? Or maybe you have a busy schedule and can’t take time off work. That’s okay. Make a decision and tell the couple.
Fill out the RSVP card correctly. Guests should follow the instructions on wedding invitations. Some couples include a paper RSVP card in their wedding invitations, while others ask guests to respond digitally. Most younger guests prefer to RSVP online, including 57% of millennials. If the couple has sent a paper response card, guests should reply quickly. This often means filling in the blanks with the name of the person attending or not attending. Sometimes, a formal invitation doesn’t include a response card. In this case, the guest should write their answer on nice paper. I’m happy to accept the invitation of couples names here on date here. If you can’t make the wedding, send the couple a warm note.
Do I have to give a wedding gift if I wasn’t invited?
Just send the note! Or just the gift. Or maybe you don’t want to. Your choice. If you were invited, I’d say give a gift or write a card. If you weren’t invited or going, anything goes. Ask Caroline a question. Email us at [email protected].
Caroline Moss hosts Gee Thanks, Just Bought It!, a product-recommendation podcast produced by Forever35. She co-wrote Hey Ladies! and a series about women in work for kids called Work It, Girl. She has been writing and editing online for 10 years and lives in Los Angeles.
Should I send a card if I wasn’t invited to a wedding?
Just send the note! Or just the gift. Or maybe you don’t want to. Your choice. If you were invited, I’d say give a gift or write a card. If you weren’t invited or going, anything goes. Ask Caroline a question. Email us at [email protected].
Caroline Moss hosts Gee Thanks, Just Bought It!, a product-recommendation podcast produced by Forever35. She co-wrote Hey Ladies! and a series about women in work for kids called Work It, Girl. She has been writing and editing online for 10 years and lives in Los Angeles.
Why would a friend not invite you to her wedding?
Expenses are a concern. Sometimes you have to prioritize family over friends. It’s still a snub. You weren’t important enough to make the guest list.
Is it rude to not invite partners to a wedding?
Is the guest in a relationship? If you’re not sure if the guest is in a relationship, ask a mutual friend or relative. How long has the relationship been going? If the couple has been together for more than six months, we suggest inviting their partner. If it’s a new relationship and less than six months, it’s easier to not invite their partner. We don’t recommend making distinctions between different relationship statuses. This can be unhelpful and cause offence. If you need to choose between some guests’ partners, choose the guests/couples you’re closest to. For example, it might make more sense to invite your best friend’s boyfriend than the husband of a colleague. But only if you consider the third point! Will the guest know many people at the wedding? If they don’t know your other guests well, it’s polite to invite their partner. If they’re not married, offer them a plus one. If they know a few other people at the wedding, they should still have fun, so having a partner or plus one isn’t important. It can help to invite guests from the same social group to your wedding. For example, two or three friends from work or a sports team. They’ll have fun even without a partner. What if I don’t invite guests’ girlfriends or boyfriends to the wedding? If you don’t want to invite guests to the wedding, invite them to the after-party or Day Two party. Got another wedding guest etiquette question? You’ll find the answer here.
Should I feel bad for not inviting someone to wedding?
You can invite anyone you want to your wedding. You don’t have to invite anyone, including family, if there’s a good reason not to. It can be awkward. If you need help, Zola is here for you. Read on for more.
Part 1: Don’t invite family to the wedding. Weddings can cause family problems. It’s usually a good idea to invite family to the wedding, but there are exceptions.
How to respond to someone who was not invited to the wedding?
What to say: Start off positive and show you care. You can say, “I value our friendship and wanted you there, but we couldn’t invite everyone because of the budget.” I hope you understand. I’d love to celebrate with you later. You’re worried about their behavior. Sometimes you don’t want to invite someone because of their behavior. Maybe your old frat brother drinks too much, or maybe you have a friend who gossips too much. If you don’t want it at your wedding, don’t have it. What to say: If you’re comfortable, you can tell the person they’re not invited to your wedding because of their past behavior. The person probably knows they’re not welcome. Be gentle. This can also be a good time to clear the air.
How to deal with not being invited to a friends wedding?
7. Be kind to everyone’s feelings. As a guest, it’s better to say, “I know you’re getting married.” I’m happy for you. I understand I’m not invited, and I accept that. “I don’t want it to be weird,” says Blum. “There’s nothing to lose by being nice.”
Is it OK to not go to a friends wedding?
If you don’t want to go to a wedding, that’s okay. Kellee Khalil is the founder and CEO of Loverly. She lives in upstate New York with her fiancé and two dogs.
📹 What To Do If You’re Not Invited To A Friend’s Wedding?
Well my friends. I come across this and wanted to address the question thrown at me. You wasn’t invited. Let me be blunt. 1.
Man, you know what would’ve been a more reasonable solution to “I’m worried the single guys will get drunk and harass women”? No alcohol at the wedding instead of excluding a massive chunk of their friend groups. Like, sure, it’s a bit of a bummer going to a big party like a wedding reception and not being allowed to drink, but it’s so much easier to lie and say you just want a sober wedding than imply all your friends are rapists :/
Pam is such a fantastic person for treating both OP and her own sister like they’re sexual predators. She also does NOT care about the women around her, she can’t even talk about her sister in a normal respectful manner to OP, who she barely knows. Imagine going up to your husband’s coworker and saying “you’re my sister’s type and she’s a sl-t”?? Super inappropriate behavior.
I love how throughout all of this OP is like “and after all these weeks I’m still yet to receive any god damn Apple Cider Donuts” 🤣 i think that’s what he truly only cares about 🤭 Also it seems like Pam wants OP, her reactions towards OP is creepy and weird. I wouldn’t be surprised if she confesses her love to him down the road 😬
This story isn’t over, considering they will still be connected to Pam if things work out between them. I wonder if that joke about her having a crush on OP wasn’t a “true things often said in jest” situation, and she was keeping them apart because she didn’t want to see the sister she is jealous of together with a guy she’s attracted to.
So the bride’s sister (OP’s now girlfriend) Beth, got Bob (Groom) and Pam (Bride) into a “non-monogamous lifestyle”? OP focused on the BDSM, but the non-monogamous part is what stood out to me… 16:32 And now Pam, who thinks OP is the “coolest guy ever” is upset that he’s dating her sister, after she went to great lengths to keep them apart. That didn’t slip my notice. I suspect more drama is coming down the road, lol. Sounds like the new bride has some ulterior motives toward OP. I’m glad I don’t have all that nonsense in my life. But even still, I was moved by this story. In the end, OP ended up with his coworker’s “slutty” Sister-in-law, AND two dozen doughnuts. That’s the most beautiful ending to a story I’ve ever heard. I’m getting a little misty-eyed just thinking about it. 😊
Seen and read this whole story already. Bob wife should have just added security and be done with it. Instead she chose the nuclear option which basically got not only her friends and coworkers hating her but also hating bob as well. Bob has every right to feel resentment for what his wife done and put him in, but she said so herself, ‘I’ll take the heat for it.’ Guess she didnt expect this much heat that his own boys just said fk you, now she’s grasping for friends to make, its pretty sad but hey, actions have consequences. And also pam seem to be a jealous type to her sister from the way bob tells op she describes her. Nothing wrong with liking sex, its normal. But I feel as tho shes jealous her sister may be more successful and have many eyes on her without trying while pam has too. Or could be the golden child thing again with parents. At the end of this, its Pam’s fault, bob as well and they might as well try to make whatever of their marriage work, cuz it sounds like annualment is right around the corner.
Pam really screwed Bob over, didn’t she “I’lL tAkE tHe HeAt FoR iT” but nowhere to be found Bob gets cornered and lies, presumably to dodge the convo he shouldn’t even be having, then everything implodes Also, Beth got her sister and Bob in on her lifestyle of non-monogamy? So they’re swingers then. And Pam might have a crush on OP Riiiiight This is all circling back to one overarching sentiment. Poor Bob 😅
so… here is the thing. it is your wedding and you have the right to have whomever you want there. That said you do need to be honest to people as to why they are not invited. because if the story is different for different people (he is sick / he is single) then you are going to have problems. My own FIL disinvited himself after my wife and I decided to not allow his wife (stepmom) at the wedding because she had basically kicked my wife out at 18-19, and never once has endeared herself to any of my wife’s family. We also had a venue that had a max capacity of 120 people and let people know to rsvp if they were going to be able to make the wedding and that 120 was a cut-off count. (we didn’t end up having that many at our wedding since my family is spread out everywhere. so lots of cards.) I think the real issue here is the dishonesty. if bob had just been upfront about why people werent invited then it could have been a much easier thing to blow over. a trauma is a trauma, but don’t create more trauma by lying about yours.
“Why wasn’t I invited?” “I wanted my girl friends to feel safe, so no single guys.” “So you think I’m a creep who’d hurt your friends?” “NOOOO! I like you and think you’re a good person.” “So why wasn’t I invited?” “I wanted my girlfriends to feel safe….” Yeah, she freaking buried herself with this circular reasoning. She’s mad that others can’t understand her viewpoint, but SHE can’t even explain it properly in a way that doesn’t make her sound terrible. And Bob’s guy friends doing the “F-You Fishing Trip” and donating money to women’s shelters instead of giving them wedding presents? Freaking BRILLIANT!!! I’d like to make friends with those guys myself.
WTF is Pam mad about? “I knew this would happen” so what? OP can’t date? She wants OP on the side? She could have used this as means to actually becoming friends with OP, since now he’s dating her sister, but no! Her reaction is to be mad her sister is with someone she considers amazing. I pity Bob.
Imma say Pam hates Beth alot. It explains the no single guys policy but inviting family single guys. Pam sounds very jealous and narssacistic. She used the drunk guys crapfest as an excuse. She then casually mentioned “oh btw my sister is very promiscuous and i dont want her grinding on you”. Like okay but who cares if she does? Then how Pam blew up when Bob said he introduced Beth to the OP via her instagram. So yeah Bob was on the money being sus about his entire marriage. And alsp the co workers and both bob and pam’s friends. Especially the one dude who was quoted. Well whatever op is winning and Pam will probably become insufferable if she continues like this. Only dude who will suffer is Bob.
I thought I read a similar story to this; where the true reason why she didn’t invite single men was because the bride was a ‘frenemy’ to all of her bridesmaids and wanted to rub it in their faces about her special day. Apparently the chances of hooking up after a wedding are high and she wanted to keep that stat down.
Why are these people so bad at keeping secrets? “So we tell people there’s not enough room at the venue, and that’s why we’re excluding them.” “Yeah okay. That’s fool-proof.” “Repeat it back to me.” “The person you’re asking about is ill. Don’t check with them.” “I’ll introduce you to the sister.” “Won’t your wife be mad?” “Yeah. This is kind of a big middle finger specifically to her. But there’s literally no way she can find out if no one tells her it was me.” “Okay.” “Sure hope the sister doesn’t do that.”
Please for the love of apples can someone please send OP his long awaited apple cider donuts😂😂😂 But this just reminds me to keep work colleagues as professional level and nothing deeper than that because it gets complicated. Plus Pam needs to reign it in about accussing innocent men of being predatory, i find that disgusting. Bob needs to wake up and smell the red flags 🚩 🚩 🚩
Yes Bob has the right to invite and uninvite whoever he wants, but as soon as he lied and said “op was sick so he couldn’t make it” he lost all rights to keep it a secret. Edit: nvm I just finished the article. Bob’s innocent, Pam’s a jealous judgemental b who ruined her own marriage and friendships with her fail reasoning. If you’re reading this Pam, you svck, you did this to yourself, and you got all that you deserve.
I SERIOUSLY don’t get women like Pam. First, yes, I understand the fact that she was traumatized by an incident that ruined what was supposed to be a happy occasion, and that can leave a scar on a person. HOWEVER, literally assuming just the single MEN, JUST the men, would be sexually harassing the women at the venue? And that’s not even mentioning the fact that they were her FRIENDS, people that she SHOULD know and TRUST. But she invites the single WOMEN instead, that ironically wished he single men were there. Do you not know your friends that well or something? Or did you just assume that all single men are rapists? Even if it meant that those men were your friends? Why would you stay friends with them if that’s how you truly felt about them? So fucking shitty I swear. While granted, most of the time weddings are supposed to be about the bride(s) and the groom(s) respectively, however its mainly about people getting together, whether they’re family or complete strangers to each other, it becomes a happy occasion when you see others becoming close because of you and your significant other. Wouldn’t you have been happy about that? Which brings me to my second point: OP. WHY is Pam even UPSET that her now husband’s co-worker is dating her sister??? I’m starting to think that the “joke” Bob made about her having a crush on OP is suspiciously true. The way she blatantly talked shit about her sister and calling her a slut was not only way out of line but I think was also her way of sabotaging something that she knew was a potential relationship, something that would make her sister happy for once and she, of course, like a typical petty female, would’ve hated the fact that her sister, just because of her life style, would be happy.
I think Pam didn’t want OP to go to the wedding because she didn’t want OP to meet her sister. Her sister got Pam and her husband into a lot of BDSM stuff, including non-monogamy, and Pam really liked OP. I think she wanted to include OP in their relationship because she liked him and is mad she lost the chance because now he’s with her sister.
I’d be content if I didn’t get invited to a coworker’s wedding if they are just an acquaintance. I generally find large weddings where every acquaintance is invited to be a boring spectacle that is less about the couple sharing something beautiful with those close to them and more about getting attention from people whose opinions shouldn’t matter. But I’m not about to lie or be lied about so you can save face either. Own your decisions and actions and this is a non-issue.
10:16 plot twist she wasn’t speaking about her sister she was speaking about herself. Maybe she was too afraid of getting a little bit too tipsy and trying to go after OP. OP is probably her type same interest in article games he’s tall had a good 15 minute conversation and he wasn’t even trying to hit on her just casual talk and getting to know her.
Not the jerk for answering a question directly aaked of him. Coworker is a jerk for not inviting him. Edit: “I think youre a good person, but I couldn’t risk it” is an absolute horrible way of putting it lady. She could have simply said “if we had made an exception for you, then we would have had to make exceptions for others eventually or have other big issues, thus who knows who would have been there and bitter, so it would have beena. Domino type effect.” Or something like that. Or, you know, be honest with people to begin with. Or say “it traumatized me, and I know y’all are good people, but there’s this fear in me about the situation.” And if it was genuinely presented as an irrational fear… maybe people could understand that. If they were presented with it to begin with.
This got way overesculated like i understand being upset but cuting them out of your life forever is crazy. Also she mentioned how the previous wedding ended in a fight not that anyone got SA why did everyone go “they must think im a predator.” Like no dude they know drunk men can get rowdy and they wanted to avoid that. Overall it was stuppid and a dry wedding would a sufficed
I don’t understand why you would want to involve yourself with coworkers on a personal level anyway. If you like weddings one can always just admire those from a distance like watch it on youtube or something. Congratulate them earnestly and leave it at that. Even if you work alongside the same people year by year one day you will never see them again. It really does not matter. Most people don’t care about a singular person anyway. This sounds harsh but it’s the reality.
I understand why you didnt get invited to the wedding with all this drama. If you dont get an invite and everyone else gets one then just accept that bob doesnt think fondly of you – just say that you didnt get invited if people ask and continue with your life without trying to force the couple an explanation. They clearly dont like you, now you got a reason to not be friends with them.
To be fair, no one is an actual a*hole here OP is definitely not the a*hole, he didnt do anything wrong Bob is not an a*hole, but made a mistake covering for pams idea by saying OP is sick Pam is not an a*hole but is in the wrong for a big part. I can understand excluding single guys (should’ve excluded single woman too btw) for having a nice civil party on her vieuws, what she shouldnt have done is lie to everyone about it. (Also did she fking like OP? If so, she sucks) In my opinion the only thing at fault here is the fked up communication and the lying to cover it up
The groom said to not make a big deal out of it, in my point of view, op didn’t made a big deal, just said point blank he wasn’t invited and that he wasn’t ok with not being invited. And about the bride’s reason, it’s actually pretty reasonable but like the friend said, if she thinks their male single friends are ab*sers then why is her friends with them in the first place?
So a few single guy were allowed, just not OP, who has never been in trouble on nights out or cautioned by the police for fighting. Not buying it, sounds things at work have gotten bad for him and he is having his wife take the blame to try and smooth things over. I’d let him suffer, he made his bed, now let him lay in it.
WTF is wrong with reddit. The guy was the only one who didn’t get an invite he asked about it and was good with the no invite for you. The problem stems from the jerk saying op didn’t make it cause he was sick. Like WTF do you think was going to happen? You don’t think anyone is going to be concerned or ask about it later? Why didn’t the jerk give the same excuse he gave OP about the numbers issue? The jerk didn’t panic he wanted OP to look bad.
The bride can’t understand the consequences of her misandry because she can’t a even acknowledge that she’s a misandrist. As if that’s not bad enough, she reveals that she’s also a misogynist in the way she speaks about her sister. I wonder what other groups she hates? She’s also sex-negative but into BDSM… What magnitude of cognitive dissonance does she operate under? It even sounds like she was really keen for OP as her choice for the non-monogamy. She will continue to cause suffering for herself and those around her until she is capable of developing some self-awareness.
honestly, if I was bob I would’ve been straight up from the start. “My wife didn’t want to invite you, so you’re not invited.” you don’t need to know more, it’s their day; that’s it. the lies and over-explaining and trying to be the “nice” guy when he’s literally just a coworker, ill be damned. It could’ve been a simple, “hey guys we didn’t invite x because we’re just not that close, please don’t talk about the wedding too much at work.” But no they wanted to be the good guys, sometimes its best to just be truthful and honest. no one owes you anything. and you don’t owe anyone anything either.
Of course he’s allowed to be upset to not have been invited. Being upset and being entitled are not the same thing. He’s just telling the truth that he didn’t get invited. Kinda a jerk move to not see him as a “trusted guy”. Their reasoning is just stupid. He could have had a +1 and the sister wouldn’t have had the chance to hit on him.
She didnt mean it like that.? There was no other way to interpret that. And it sounds like some of the women were upset there were no single men around. She deserved to lose her friends. I love how she was screaming “why can’t anyone see my point of view.!” My response would be “why cant she see their point of view.?” She did pretty much call them creeps and predators. She could have had security at her wedding just in case but she didnt want to do that. She burned all those bridges down herself. Now she has to lay in the bed she made. I also do think Pam has a crush on OP. Why else would she be scared they – beth and OP – would have hit it off.?
“She’s sorry about it but would do it again” and they didn’t even gave him the donuts they promised. 7:30 So he had to turn down all his single guy friends, but her single girl friends were fine? 8:00 Why didn’t they exclude the sister to protect the other men? 13:24 Why does she even have that many guy friends? – red flag 16:00 Of course she likes you, because you ain’t such a wimp as her husband.
I get what pan meant and was trying to do, and it’s reasonable to say she had a pretty good reason not wanting to risk experiencing something that traumatized her on what was supposed to be her wedding. but yeah her continued phrasing doesn’t really support that. I hope she learns to be a better person and I wish Bob and OP the best.
If the OP and his new girlfriend wind up getting married, they need to hold the ceremony at the same winery where Pam and Bob held theirs, and make sure to invite every person they know, men and women, married and single, without exceptions. They should even invite Pam and Bob, and in fact I would say they should make an explicit point to do so. The OP should hand Bob his invitation personally. Hire a security guard or two, and instruct the barman to cut off anybody who seems too drunk. Make no mention of Bob and Pam’s mistake. Just have fun.
Im not mad a Bob, im mad that he isnt seeing the red flags, Pam is such a manipulative narcicist, its insane how much this man is being walked over, he needs to stand tf up and use his damn brain for a second. And it seems like not a single thing about the wedding had anything catered to him, only Pam. Weddings are a day about the Bride AND Groom, not just the Bride.
Everyone in this story is unreasonable and petty especially the OP, its just donuts and not being invited to a wedding is not the end of the world, the only people who matter in a wedding is the bride and groom, whatever choices they make even if they’re stupid as hell should be taken as a matter of course, if you dont like their choices you shouldn’t even want to attend and if the groom and bride can’t agree with the wedding choices then thats something they should be figuring out before the wedding
Man. Bob should have honestly questioned his wife. Because it seems to me like she was hoping to have OP as a fallback incase the marriage didn’t work out. So she was purposely trying to keep him away from any girl that could get with him. Meanwhile trying to get as close to OP as possible. Thankfully Bob finally came around like a bro getting OP with someone who he can build a relationship with.
I might be wrong on this whole ordeal, but it seems to me like Pam had some doubts about the mariage and from the moment she met OP she counted on the possibility of having the backdoor still open with him if anything went wrong. I mean… Its still just a random feeling but if you think about it a bit – it seems at least a bit plausible.
Similar to something I’ve experienced before. Friend’s wife went bridezilla and mysteriously uninvited any single pretty girls they knew outside of relations. I was one of the Groomsmen so spent quite a while listening to the Stag complaining about it. To be fair, some of the girls were trouble and were apparently in his DMs but seemed a bit OTT at the time. Mostly the wedding went off without a hitch and we just laugh about it now. They are still married 10 years later. 😂
Honestly Pam is the main one at fault here, Like I can understand that kind of trauma, but to basically assume EVERY guy is a sexual preditor, even the gay ones as well, wouldnt put it past her at this rate is a sexual preditor is savearly sexist, ngl I wouldnt be surprised if she assumed her own husband could be a sex preditor, yeesh, he needs to devorce her.
I’ve heard of this story before. Bob lying to OP and their co-workers about the reason why OP wasn’t invited to the wedding was such an a-holish move along with Pam’s reasons for not inviting her and Bob’s guy friends. They totally deserved to lose their friends after what they did. Also, the way Pam is acting towards OP is rather creepy. She almost seems a little too obsessive over him. It’s good that OP hit it off with Beth. But, just to be on the safe side, he should be extremely cautious with her. Especially with her having a sister like Pam. And, like other people are saying, I’m glad that he finally got those donuts! 😁
“How dare my sister have a boyfriend!? This is exactly what I was afraid of, that two people who like eachother would date” how fn miserable and jealous do you have to be to call your own sister who engages in the same stuff you do a sloot, and when she tries to become monogamous actively prevent her from doing so.
its such a shame for everyone involved. it started due to people traumatising pam, and she had a genuine real fear. i mean i dont agree with what she did, but i get it. especially since its her wedding, itd make sense for her to want to feel safe. bobs position makes sense too, and so does OPs, and everyone involved honestly. but i dont even see much malice in pam, just fear and pain due to trauma.
I had a feeling that Pam is a swinger and is more into op than bob knows. I think she wanted op at the wedding but knew she would kiss/sleep with him or the other single men if she gets drunk. Or someone else gets with or sleeps with op and is ‘saving’ him for later. But Who knows what’s going on in Pam’s head and her thought process.
Screw them all,your work acquaintances not friends just let it be and move on with your own friends. Bob is p whipped what a joke of a man. His friends going on a trip and donating was a good one. The so called friends have the right to be pissed this Bob will loose everyone he gets along with own fault
Everyone talking about the dishonesty, Pam being… Pam, and whatnot. I’m just sitting here thinking, “Why would a coworker– not a bestie, not a close relative, just a fellow employee– get upset about not being invited to the wedding?” I tried listening to the whole article, I really did, but it just spiraled into drama that I didn’t care about and I lost interest before the halfway mark.
This marriage is doomed. If you can’t talk your partner out of really dumb ideas and get ignored even when you put your foot down, then you have no chance of making it work. I would never marry a woman who would do something like this against my will and get our entire social life destroyed, and no woman should marry a man who does this either, big decisions have to get the green light by both partners plain and simple.
Initially I thought Reddit might of fed him a little too hard, like yes stand your ground what she did was good natured but still sexist, don’t be friends with people you can’t trust. Maybe it’s cause I’m a mediator at heart. Reddit clearly saw something I didn’t cause omg did this escalate. Any good on OP for getting Beth and those damn donuts 🤣🤣
I think all of them are wrong. He should have just let it go. It’s their wedding and if they don’t want him there, why does he want to associate with such people? Sure he got hurt but they’re clearly bad company. People in your workplace are just that, co- workers. No one is your friend in the workplace. Stick with company that appreciates and prioritizes you. Not treats you like an optional interaction. Just my two copper ingots
I think Pam is insecured. she doesnt want guys to hit her girl friends bc she is scared that “what if the guys is hotter than Bob” and she will feel jealous seeing her girl friends got hot guys. also vice versa with her guy friends may got better girlfriends. i think she have them as her friend but she also wants to control them. she tried so hard to prevent that “what if” situation but in actual fact the “what if” situation isnt abt “drunk guys ruin wedding”, but “im scared they’ll become couple which is better than me”. she is the “nobody can have better than me” type of person Bob should divorce Pam. she 100% has a crush on OP and will use Bob and excuses to make up with OP that i think she will then try to flirt and win OP. Bob will soon become the victim from cheater. She doesnt want OP to meet Beth bc she feel scared. she knows Beth loves sex, and better than her. and she doesnt want Beth to get a hotter guy. when she know OP and Beth become couple she got angry bc she feel jealous that she cant wint OP. Bon should save himself from Pam. a toxic controlling woman who uses fake excuses to cover her real intention
this is ridiculous, just say it out right and get it over with. I’d much rather know why I’m not getting invited prior to the wedding and hear it conjointly from both the bride and the groom instead of hearing a worse explanation with the feeling of exclusion afterwards. Not to mention they were all pretty close as a team so why would the guy not have felt comfortable telling OP their reasoning? Not to mention OP didn’t even get his damn apple cider doughnuts
this sounds so fake, but I don’t doubt that the same time of people that try and keep their single friends/siblings from hooking up are the type that have friends/siblings that will hook up at a moments notice. if anything, i was confused why OP was so bent about this that he had to make a post but it seems like it was actually Bob and Pam that were bent about it.
This is what is going on in society. Pam is taught all men are sexual predators. Meanwhile men are no longer being taught to be men which doesn’t help this. I’ve sen too many men who allow emotions to control their actions instead of being in control of their emotions. The result of which is what happened at the wedding Pam went to, which, sadly, is also a result of how we raise boys.
LIKE! WHY! why is “Pam” mad? She got her wedding the way she wanted granted the outfall and her husband set her up with a way more than decent guy that has the same interest as her sister. like this is only a win for Pam as she got her wedding and made her sister happy aswell. granted the hapiness could had happened at the wedding but fuck it
I’m a woman, and I understand the fear and caution. I completely understand where she is coming from, but this was not dealt with well. It sounds like the Wedding Rumble was… almost traumatizing for the women involved – it sounds like an awful incident, but this could have been avoided with more communication and hiring security. Not having a free, open bar etc. There were better ways to handle this. Also the way she thinks of her sister is a bit telling…
This woman acts like as soon as a man is single, he is a sex offender I feel awful bout her previous experience but the fact she wouldn’t give any of them the chance is honestly kind of sexist She turned down friends because she “wanted to be sure” and then acted said “ohh but I didn’t mean it like that, but I did but I’m sure you understand, even though you might have done it, but I don’t think that” Edit: she was also fine with women getting drunk and flirting with the men and sexualising them Even though she purposely excluded the men for the possibility that they might do that too without any proof they where like that
Oh Good Lord! I’m so pleased that I stumbled across this article. About a year and a half ago I was not invited to the wedding of two former friends. I was shocked to look one evening on Facebook and see all these photos of the wedding on different profiles of mutual friends who attended the wedding. This ended up being a “shattered glass” moment between me and these individuals. About a month previous I had spoken to these two people, the bride and the groom, and they made no mention of their upcoming nuptials. I WAS IN SHOCK!!! This taught me that I was not important to these people. Honestly I thought there was more to this friendship. Apparently I was wrong. This was a lesson learned. It was a bitter pill to shallow. Since then I have kept my distance from these people. Because things will never be the same. They know it and I know it. The sad part is that I attended the bride’s cousin’s wedding a few years previous. Of course the bride who didn’t invite me to her wedding was there with her future husband.
What we fail to notice early is that we place our selves sometimes in people lives basing on the position we gave them in our hearts. People change, people find new friends, being someones best friend a few months or yrs back doesn’t mean you are still. others feel insecure in our eyes. others invite us basing on what we can provide not only what we are to them. Close your eyes, get off watsup a little or facebook and before you know it, that will have passed.
Do nothing 🤷♀️. I wasn’t invited many times to some friend’s weddings for many reasons, from budget to family only, or because we weren’t close. Just keep minding your bussiness and live your life, because it’s too short for crying over missing opportunities. Now, it’s up to you how to take it, if as a sign of parting ways or just an unfortunate event of life.
The way i look at it is, it should be equally honorable to have guests as it is to invite them. If the people inviting you feel like they’re that much superior to where they have to get exclusive, it’s not an honor to be there anyway. Remember people are only as important as you make them. Look at the brightside- you get to save money on a gift and have more time to yourself. And time is very valuable.
As you get older and meet different people your friendship network changes. There are tiers to friends and if not invited to major events it is time to drop that person to a lower tier, spend less time thinking and connecting with that person to concentrate on more important and newer connections (as they have done). Sometimes completely dropping someone is quite nice to save and free up time. Any friendship is slowly degraded by neglect. Unfortunately, it is not possible and unrealistic to devote time to keeping all friendships strong as distances between work, different paths in life, types of work, differences in allegiance etc pulls people apart. In the older world where people lived in the same town, worked together, were educated in the same schools at similar times, went to the same religious place and went to the same recreational places together it was far easier to keep a tight-knit circle of friends. Today, much of the shared commonalities are fewer as life continues. Not to mention values change.
I’m 68-years-old and for the first time in my life I received a “non-invitation” card which on one side says all the traditional stuff announcing the wedding, but when you flip it over it says: “While we really wish we could celebrate with you all in person, we need to keep both the venue and the guest list small. We will miss your company. If you wish, feel free to use the QR code to send your well wishes.” I was bummed that I wouldn’t be a part of it (the venue is literally across the street from my home), and have been wresting with sad feelings for a couple of days. The event is actually going on at this very moment as I write this. I want to be strong and smile and wish them well, but on the other hand, I’m feeling hurt.
One of my closest friends for 25 years got married last week and I just found out yesterday after seeing their wedding pictures on FB and it made me feel some type of way. Judging from the pics they kept the ceremony small which is understandable considering the ongoing Covid pandemic but what surprised me was him not even mentioning a word about it to me. I would have been fine being told I wasn’t being invited on the basis of those reasons (or whatever reasons there might have been) but not hearing a single word about it shines a light on a rift between us I didn’t know was there. Last month one of the bridesmaids reached out to me to make sure that their planned bachelorette party wasn’t set for the same date as the bachelor party (they have kids and can’t be away from home at the same time), I was quite taken back by this information as I knew nothing about any marriage plans so I just told her that I couldn’t help her and wished her good luck on her mission. When I have talked to my friend after the bridesmaid contacted me he hasn’t made any mention about it either and now they are husband and wife and I still haven’t heard from him. So I ask myself what conclusions can be drawn from this? For whatever reasons my friend decided not to even tell me so maybe the idea of marriage isn’t that big of a deal to him? Or maybe I should ask do some soul-searching and ask myself why I wasn’t included? Or perhaps I am not as important to my friend as I imagined and if that’s how it is then it’s highly important for me to know so I can reset my own priorities and focus on other people and activities where I am wanted, appreciated and made a priority.
Your coverage on this topic was very mature. I feel like it’s hard to give someone a pass and let it slide especially during covid, where most invitations go out electronically to make an online audience on zoom. And even in that situation a very close friend did not invite me. I don’t believe in making the person feel bad over it but damn man it hurts 🤣
My long time childhood closest friend got married today and I realized I was not invited until I saw people start posting their photos. we don’t have any conflict tgt and I know we’ve drifted apart these years but how is some of her not-so-close friends were invited and me who grew up together was not invited. I’m a clown lol. Whatever.
Thanks a lot for this. I am also going through something similar. A friend of mine is going to get married in next 5 days and I still do not have an invitation/message. The wedding is going to be in another city, so even if they send me an invite like 2 days before, I do not think I will be able to make it. And they know that. So yeah, its as good as not inviting. But your article really helped. I will definitely send them my congratulations.
I wish that more people we’re like you and understanding. “When” I was engaged 2 times my step family who was not really their for me nor did most of didn’t really know me at all. They all helped break me and fiances up including my very own stepdad. The only thing that my stepdad was just trying to come to wedding because it was nice. That’s all not because it was in his heart to give me away. Sad right 😐
Weddings are where you get to see social rankings at their most naked. It can be incredibly disturbing to see how people really see you and the best thing is to recognize that this truth can help you reframe your view of the people you think you are close to but who see you differently. It is pointless to fight with people who hurt the ones who value them, because in their minds they are “right.” However, the bride and groom need to be prepared for the aftermath when the truth of it all comes back at them like a boomerang. The best action for those who have been given the proverbial boot is to smile and disappear into the woodwork and move on, like water around a rock in a stream ;>)
It absolutely hurt 😞, my close friend invited me verbally .and one week ago she text me that I can’t come bcs there is limited seats due to coved .and she was talking about the wedding preparation all the time with me and I was exited for her .and I have big ego if I have choice I will end the friendship and move on in my life .but the problem is I will have to take classes with her that have only small number 3 so I will have to interact with her .
Hey! I’m going through it right now, I’m trying to deal with it….I don’t know what to say, I thought we were on the same page with the homie but definitely not on his book. I won’t decline that I am hurt that he didn’t invite me to his wedding but I’m also trying to understand that it was his wedding not mine