Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves, particularly family members such as parents. In some cultures, a professional matchmaker may be used to find a spouse for a young person. Arranged marriages can mean illegal forced marriages, with many cases involving brides under 15 years old.
The pros of arranged marriage include fulfilling religious duty, family involvement and financial security, community support, and social and economic stability. Cultural norms about love and courtship vary greatly throughout the world, including the prevalence of arranged marriage. The vast majority of Indians still have arranged marriages, with 93% of married Indians reporting theirs was an arranged marriage in a 2018 survey.
Arranged marriages allow couples to form relationships based on more than just emotion, and romantic love is found throughout the world. While arranged or forced marriages have come under fire in the west for being associated with certain societies of immigrant origin, they are widespread among many so-called “tribal” societies around the world.
Arranged marriages in India are long and tedious affairs, with both parties committed to a marriage. Trust, understanding, and security are additional feelings that form when arranged marriages within the same religion, caste, and social context. Arranged marriages provide equal stature, financial stability, cultural identity, and the same opinions among partners and families. In essence, in an arranged marriage, first comes the right person and then comes love.
📹 What It’s Like To Have An Arranged Marriage
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What are 2 disadvantages of arranged marriages?
Arranged marriages have some disadvantages. Arranged marriages can have some drawbacks, like not being able to choose your partner and not being compatible. Also, pressure to fit in can make relationships stressful.
Together Forever. One downside of arranged marriage is that you don’t get to choose your partner. You may feel pressured to accept a partner you don’t want, which can make you unhappy in the marriage. Incompatibility is a risk in arranged marriages, but you can make it work by remembering the four magic words: I’ll do the dishes.
Love Shackled. In arranged marriages, one or both partners may feel trapped by love. They may not be as emotionally invested in the relationship. This can make the marriage unhappy. Plus, both partners may lack trust and communication because they don’t love each other.
What are 5 benefits of an arranged marriage?
Arranged marriages have many advantages. You know what you’re getting into from the start. … Sharing values and traditions makes it easier. … You can know what you want in a partner without past pain. … It makes relationships clear. An arranged marriage is when a couple gets married because their parents and families planned it. The bride and groom don’t have much say because their parents arranged the relationship. Today, young people think this is forced. Many couples who get engaged this way grew up together. They may be childhood friends, their families know each other, and the couple may grow close because they know each other from childhood. Arranged marriage is not a forced partnership. People in many communities around the world force people together for the benefit of the family or culture.
Is arranged marriage is good or love?
Arranged marriages are more successful. It’s better if your parents find someone for you because they know you and will make the best decision for you. Arranged marriages have a lower divorce rate. Parents can help with marriage. Arranged marriages also create a strong bond between families. The couple knows not to make a fuss. Arranged marriage teaches men and women to compromise and negotiate. Love marriages cause a lot of arguments because there’s no guidance for the newlyweds. They were in love. But the change in their relationship was hard for them. Love marriages have higher divorce rates. Both are dominant in a relationship, so no one learns to compromise. People have been debating love and arranged marriages for years. People want to know which is better. A psychologist says that love in love marriages fades over time, but grows in arranged marriages. The debate over love marriages and arranged marriages has lasted decades. But making a choice is hard. Both kinds of marriages have pros and cons. No matter what, the couple and their families need to love, trust, and understand each other for the marriage to succeed. The debate about love marriages vs. arranged marriages is over. We want to know your opinion. Tell us your choice in the comments.
What happens in an arranged marriage?
In urban and rural areas, parents arrange marriages for their children. These marriages are arranged by both the girl’s and boy’s families. Child marriages are also in decline. In India, the legal age of marriage is 21 for men and 18 for women. So, the term “arranged marriage” now refers to marriages between consenting adults. Sociologists and policymakers now distinguish between arranged marriages (which involve consenting adults) and forced marriages. Another trend in arranged marriages is the loosening of traditional clan bonds in India. In the past, parents found spouses for their children through family and social connections. Now, they often use ads because many urban parents don’t have the social networks they once did. The internet has led to the rise of matchmaking websites like shaadi.com, which claims to be the largest matrimonial service in the world. Shaadi.com is often seen as a platform for modern Indian arranged marriages. Endogamy is the practice of marrying within one’s social group. Caste-based endogamy is when people in one caste reject others because they are seen as inferior or superior. Shaadi.com is like a Western dating app, but users often have their accounts managed by parents or guardians. Shaadi.Com lets users find people from specific communities. There are two hundred Hindu communities. But when looking for a good match, people also consider many other things. Some of these include class, exposure, and good looks. As long as the partners are compatible and of similar caste, the marriage is acceptable. But marrying someone from a lower caste is not possible.
Which is more successful love or arrange?
Arranged marriages are more successful. It’s better if your parents find someone for you because they know you and will make the best decision for you. Arranged marriages have a lower divorce rate. Parents can help with marriage. Arranged marriages also create a strong bond between families. The couple knows not to make a fuss. Arranged marriage teaches men and women to compromise and negotiate. Love marriages cause a lot of arguments because there’s no guidance for the newlyweds. They were in love. But the change in their relationship was hard for them. Love marriages have higher divorce rates. Both are dominant in a relationship, so no one learns to compromise. People have been debating love and arranged marriages for years. People want to know which is better. A psychologist says that love in love marriages fades over time, but grows in arranged marriages. The debate over love marriages and arranged marriages has lasted decades. But making a choice is hard. Both kinds of marriages have pros and cons. No matter what, the couple and their families need to love, trust, and understand each other for the marriage to succeed. The debate about love marriages vs. arranged marriages is over. We want to know your opinion. Tell us your choice in the comments.
Which is better, love or arranged marriage?
Arranged marriages are more successful. It’s better if your parents find someone for you because they know you and will make the best decision for you. Arranged marriages have a lower divorce rate. Parents can help with marriage. Arranged marriages also create a strong bond between families. The couple knows not to make a fuss. Arranged marriage teaches men and women to compromise and negotiate. Love marriages cause a lot of arguments because there’s no guidance for the newlyweds. They were in love. But the change in their relationship was hard for them. Love marriages have higher divorce rates. Both are dominant in a relationship, so no one learns to compromise. People have been debating love and arranged marriages for years. People want to know which is better. A psychologist says that love in love marriages fades over time, but grows in arranged marriages. The debate over love marriages and arranged marriages has lasted decades. But making a choice is hard. Both kinds of marriages have pros and cons. No matter what, the couple and their families need to love, trust, and understand each other for the marriage to succeed. The debate about love marriages vs. arranged marriages is over. We want to know your opinion. Tell us your choice in the comments.
Can we fall in love in arranged marriage?
Arranged marriages don’t start with love, but love can grow. Many couples in arranged marriages fall in love with their spouse after the wedding. This is because they have similar experiences, values, and respect each other.
Shared experiences. Love can develop in an arranged marriage through shared experiences. When two people get married, they have to learn to live together. This can include things like living together and making decisions together. As they work through challenges together, they may bond.
Common values. Shared values can also help love develop in arranged marriages. Families often arrange marriages based on religion, caste, and cultural traditions. This means the couple shares values, which helps build a strong relationship.
Is there true love in arranged marriage?
Couples who get married by arrangement are more likely to be romantic because they are adjusting to their new lives together. Eventually, these two people will know each other well and fall in love. Trust, understanding, and security are feelings that form when arranged marriages within the same religion, caste, and social background are decided upon. There’s no time limit on falling in love in an arranged marriage. It’s not love at first sight, but it can take weeks, months, or even years. When such a couple finally falls in love, nothing can tear them apart. They are tied by the threat of marriage in Indian culture.
How is love marriage better than arranged?
Rate it. Which is better? You might be wondering which is better. Studies show that arranged marriages have a higher success rate, but love marriages have a higher satisfaction rate. Not surprising, right? Love isn’t forever, and good matchmakers can help you find a good partner. It’s not about where you meet, but the quality of your relationship. Love marriages last longer. Studies say they last a little longer. It could be because couples build their relationships on chemistry and understanding, not family compatibility. Arranged marriages also have long-lasting romances. It’s about keeping the spark alive.
Divorces? Love the arranged. Divorce statistics show a more complex picture. Arranged marriages have lower divorce rates. It could be the family support, the compromise, or the commitment to long-term stability. Why? In love marriages, people can leave if things get bad. There’s no pressure to stay together.
Why is love marriage better than arranged?
Divorces? Love the arranged. Divorce statistics show more detail. Arranged marriages have lower divorce rates. It could be the family support system, the emphasis on compromise, or the societal commitment to long-term stability. Why? People in love marriages can leave if things get bad. There’s no pressure to stay together. Arranged marriages have a lower divorce rate at first, but this gap shrinks over time. Not all love marriages fail. Open communication, shared values, and a healthy dose of “I dos” help couples get through rough patches. It means both partners work harder.
Arranged, With Love: Advantages and Disadvantages of Arranged vs. Love Marriage. Arranged marriage is better than love marriage because it avoids dating problems and offers family support for conflicts. You have family mediators to help you through disagreements. But they’re a gamble on compatibility, not passion. You also skip the “getting to know your person” part. It’s like a surprise vacation. You might find paradise, or you might share a bed with a stranger. The good news is… If you don’t expect much, you won’t be disappointed. When the honeymoon phase ends, it ends fast. Love marriages offer freedom, compatibility, and flexibility. You can choose your partner based on shared ideas of life and break societal barriers. You know each other’s quirks and can set your own pace. But beware: passion can blind, cultural clashes can sting, and family support can be scarce. Choose wisely.
What are the feelings in arranged marriages?
It is possible for an arranged marriage couple to fall in love after getting married, even if they didn’t love each other before. Men and women are attracted to each other. Feelings will develop over time.
📹 Do Indians Prefer Love or Arranged Marriage? | Street Interview
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Would have been a different story if she didn’t love the guy…🤷🏻♀️ the parents just conditioned them to fall in love. Arranged marriages are great when families are open and understanding and accepting. In many arranged marriages take the couple barely know each other. These two grew up together. It’s not the same. It’s so common where families turn nasty once the wedding is done or Ill-treat a new bride. I’m not against the concept but couples should be allowed to get to know one another before marrying. What if they never brush at night? 😐
sometimes being “forced” into a relationship like that is not so outwardly. i mean, deep down inside do the parties FEEL like they can even say no? sometimes you are just raised to be complacent and obedient and you don’t even consider rebelling because of how engrained it is to “respect” your parents’ wishes….
no. i will always hate arranged marriages. my parents had one and stayed together “for the kids”(classic excuse) and i have vivid childhood memories of my dad throwing things at my mother, insulting and berating her loudly, leaving the house during their fights and not coming back for days, scaring us all. i remember my mother lived in constant fear of my dad and for the longest time, this taught me to bear with toxic behavior from men. they’ve been married for over 25 years and didn’t want to divorce or separate because of my sisters and i and from societal pressure, but are finally getting the process of a divorce started. i don’t like hearing that arranged marriages should be acceptable, we have to remember the vulnerable children that become victims to them.
My husband and I chose each other but we were fully committed to a courtship from the beginning. For a lot of people it’s so scary to put forth expectations and commitment of any kind for what could be a temporary situation. But for us, it was never intended to be temporary. We had flirted, gotten to know each other as friends, knew each other’s families, and then ironically I asked him to my senior prom. He was older than me, but had already graduated at 15yo, and had more life experience than I did. From prom as our first date, we simply let the relationship progress naturally and became close very quickly. We finally married at 19 and 20, have only ever been with each other and have been married over 14 years now. Was our situation traditional? No. But 14 years, two kids, and three dogs later…there is nobody else for me. He is my whole heart and I am his.
Not everyone in an arranged marriage is as lucky as you were!! Tell a 15 years old girl how is being married to a 40 years old man that it’s ok!! Tell a LGBTQ+ person that it’s ok to be married in exchange for some cows!! Getting married to someone you don’t love is not a love story, don’t sell it for one!!
If I may I think you are brushing aside an important objection to the institution of arrange marriage. This being: “It rewards conformity and punishes originality”. I am glad you had the choice but most people who are born in that institution don’t. It’s either sticking to tradition or being victimized by endless shaming. Let me give you a personal example. I grew up in the East and moved to West when I was 19. To this day I have struggle with having my identity framed in a context of conformity. I.e. as a man my purpose in life is to be a provider. While my sisters attached their identity to being good wife’s and mothers. Any deviation is unacceptable and immediately shamed and punished by society. There is an implicit ‘with society’ or ‘against society’ mentality that comes with the culture. I am extremely happy that thing worked out for you. I just worry that by ignoring the important cultural aspects you make it sound like a utopia which it clearly isn’t.
I don’t think I can even handle it, I’m too aggressive, I know if I listen to my parents about an arranged marriage I would make myself miserable, and I’m too impatient and I will admit that I’m not a nice person. I would basically do anything to get out of an arranged marriage and make the man’s life miserable to the point where he would most likely not wanna see me again. It’s what I get for loving another and not loving a man who my mother would pick for me.
Okay but like….aren’t there like, actually very real “forced” arranged marriages where the woman gets zero say? Is that completely false, like that’s never true? Or is that real? Cause literally every criticism I’ve ever heard on arranged marriages refers to that, not what happened here. So, is that just, not real, or is the word “arranged marriaged” used her being used in a different way when your average white American says “arranged marriage”
The problem I have with this is she is assumes the western way of love and relationships is like how it is in movies and tv. Understand she from a different country as well as different culture but since she was living and growing up in America she should’ve focused more on the reality of it. She can focus without actually being in a relationship herself she can see it from her friends relationships.
Arranged marriage and forced marriage are not the same thing. Often they are confused for one another but arranged is literally like being set up but you choose to go ahead with it. Forced obviously means you have no choice and my heart goes out to anyone who has ever had to experience that coz no one ever should.
Personally, I am thinking of getting an arranged marriage myself. One thing that I love about the east is that marriage is more traditional, serious, focused, and more goal oriented than the western romantic ideal marriages. I’ve seen so many love marriages fall apart and just crumble. The divorce rates in this country put many family and community members in trauma from the stress of the children and grandchildren’s future from divorces.
I agree that its scary that in America relationships can last up to 8 years or more with no wedding ring and no future in sight. I was proposed to after 10 months thank goodness. I knew he was the one from the beginning. If you don’t know they’re your wife/husband within a few months, don’t waste their time. Its not fair.
Love to see so many miseducated people in the comments. There is a difference between arrange marriages and forced marriages. THE ARE NOT THE SAME!!! One includes consent while the other doesn’t. I actually come from a country where arrange marriages are common. So I have seen how many arrange marriages were set up. Usually arranged marriages only mean that parents brought up the idea of marriage between the bride and the groom. The said bride and groom have to both agree to it after meeting each other. The also can say no at any point of the engagement up until the sign the legal documents. Even after that divorce is still possible. Even in my overly religious developing country forced marriages are looked as a bad thing. I’m not saying that forced marriages don’t happen. They do happen, they happen all over the world. In my country (IDK about other countries) they happen in less educated people (school is not mandatory there so I mean 6th, 8th, and 10th grade dropouts) or people from small towns or villages (that are usually less educated because the good schools are in the cites and they have a harder time affording school). includefamilies ask each other to make it “official” and you will find people being judgy about them in small towns or villages .
At some point she talks about how uncomfortable she felt with the idea of dating somebody forever without knowing if their intention was to marry – so, does this mean that if you don’t marry the relationship is not real? Or that, marriage will guarantee you a real long life story with your partner? Let’s be honest, no matter what you choose, nothing guarantees it will be happy and eternal, no matter if it is arranged, or not arranged. The format doesn’t guarantee the genuinity or duration, or the happiness with that person. Even arrange marriage break. And many that are unhappy may not divorce to avoid sharing with society their failure. We are too caught up with the formats of relationship but show me statistics of happy relationships, then convince me arrange works better.
And who said being forced into anything had to be so bad? We were all forced into this world without choice of time period, family, or race. At the very least it would’ve been nice i had a spouse chosen for me long ago and a child already able to take care of themselves by now, than having mixed feelings of living the remainder of my life single. Considering that no one will meet my ever-refining and i would undoubtedly live a married life believing there can always be someone better for me out there. Who would want to “marry” the person who i’ve become?
I am jealous of people who can marry someone they love my parents wants me to get married to strangers whom I never seen and to live a suffocating life getting pressurized by their family even after job I have to do all house work and can have my time which I love,and I find it hard to get along with people and to live with someone I don’t know 😶 I feel so anixious I just wanna live alone but I am in so much stress
Research shows divorce in love marriage is 50% higher because prior to marriage they both live in LaLa land and after marriage the love in most relationships stay or start to lower between them so soon after they get separated because they assumed love marriage ment love between them double by the second as it did prior to marriage when they were in love.
Why do people think marriage is something that means you’ve been successful in life? And not having and cherishing platonic friendships and other non romantic fulfilling relationships that you can have multiple of and the story of figuring out how to have healthy relationships with others or yourself! With out being in codependent straight fantasy
I think whatever works for you is great. Fate Is fate sometimes….I like the fact I dated before my husband whom I met at 16 in highschool and got married at 23 (we didnt start dating till 19). I think all my past relationships really prepared me to be with my husband. My mother in law did get an arranged marriage and even tried to set up my husband with someone she liked before we got married…but he did like her in the past but I was just the one…she over the years has had trouble letting go of the rope even with my kids and tries to put in her traditional ways. I’m happy my life went the way it did. I think when it’s more forced and like you have no options that’s worse. Especially because chemically not everyone works…its just science and if you arent attracted then there’s no fun in that.
As/Is: What It’s Like To Have An Arranged Marriage Me: Lol, you don’t have to tell me. I’m Indian. As an Indian, I can say that I never believed that arranged marriages had love in the bond. I mean, it varies because some people fell in love after marriage. Thanks to society, I learned three things: 1. After marriage (arranged marriage), you can experience love with your husband. 2. Love Marriages always lead to divorce and love marriages are bad. 3. I hate to say this, but this targets women – If a woman has a dating history or if she’s not a virgin before marriage, she’s considered to be tainted (Honestly, this makes my blood boil.). It makes me sad because when we talk about Love in Indian culture, it feels so “wrong” and a “bad topic” to talk about. But when we talk about Love in any other culture, it feels so beautiful. I absolutely hate that. I believe that Love is beautiful in every single culture that exists in this world. I hope that our kids grow up in a generation where Love is accepted in every way and Love Marriages are considered to be a good thing too.
This is such an infantile way of looking at things. The whole story you can catch the huge family pressure that never really gets refuted contrary to the whole “It’s your choice” argument she keeps touting. I am glad that this worked for her but the vast majority of people in arranged marriages i know are extremely dissatisfied with their position. There IS a lot of nuance, but unfortunately it never gets touched upon in this article not even slightly.
Arranged marriages are toxic, dehumanizing and may even be dangerous. It’s also really odd that arranged marriages are talked about when kids are MINORS. Sorry girl, but you can talk for 30 minutes or 30 hours and based on these comments, myself and many others aren’t going to change our minds on this.
? This is the lady that wrote the book about arranged marriage those two pictures that you brought up from the two movies already living in a delusion and not Islamic even if you’re a Christian or a Jew you have to follow the law of the country you live in and follow the laws of the religion be you a Jew a Muslim or a Christian anyway you slice it you have to cover up you have to be modest you can’t live like some Western woman not covering up not wearing hijab not showing your beauty only to those who are lawful To Be With You by family or marriage no brother-in-law’s cousins we have to follow an Islamic belief the Christian belief and a Jewish belief but it has to be kosher it has to be orthodoxxxzx?x? When you get that right then your book will be authentic