Forced marriage is a marriage where one or more parties are married without their consent or against their will. It can also become a forced marriage even if both parties enter with full consent if they are later forced to stay in the marriage against their will. Forced marriages can occur to anyone from any background and nationality, and can affect both males and females. They can also happen to adults too.
Forced marriages are a form of gender-based violence and an abuse of human rights. They are not limited to any particular cultural group, religion, or ethnicity, and there are reports of forced marriage from all over the world. Anyone can be a victim of forced marriage, regardless of their age, gender, or sexual orientation.
In 2016, an estimated 15.4 million people were in forced marriages, with 88% of victims being women and girls. In Asia and the Pacific, an estimated 2 persons per 1000 were victims of forced marriage. Forced marriage is considered an abuse of human rights, as it involves serious violations of fundamental rights, particularly women’s and girls’ rights to freedom of choice.
A child marriage is considered a form of forced marriage, given that one and/or both parties have not expressed full, free, and informed consent. Forced marriages can take the form of exchange or trade-off marriages, alliances agreed upon, or forced marriages that involve emotional pressure, threats, or violence.
In conclusion, forced marriages are a form of violence against women and girls, affecting both sexes and affecting individuals from various backgrounds and nationalities.
📹 Forced To Marry (Investigative Documentary) | Real Stories
In this undercover investigation, religious leaders appear willing to agree to perform underage marriages at some mosques …
What is it called when someone forces you to marry?
Forced marriage is when someone is forced to marry against their will. Consent means you agree to marry your intended spouse and when. Forced marriage happens when family members or others use threats or deception to make you marry without your consent. Forced marriage can be a result of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, or stalking. Forced marriage can happen to anyone. It can happen to anyone.
You feel you don’t or didn’t have a choice about who to marry or when to marry. You are being threatened with abandonment, isolation, or abuse if you don’t marry or leave a marriage you didn’t consent to. You are afraid of the consequences of saying “no” to a marriage, including being hurt or cut off from your family. You are being closely monitored to prevent you from talking to others about the pressure you are facing.You feel you cannot refuse to marry or leave a marriage you did not consent to because it would hurt you or your family. You believe that you or people you care about would be hurt or even killed if you refuse to marry or attempt to leave a marriage you did not consent to. You have had your travel documents, identification, communication devices, or money taken away from you and will not get them back unless you agree to marry or remain in a marriage you did not consent to.
What is considered a forced marriage?
A forced marriage is when one or both people don’t or can’t agree to marry and are forced into it. It is also when someone is forced to marry before they turn 18, even if there is no pressure or abuse.
Know a forced marriage. A forced marriage is when one or both people don’t or can’t agree to marry and are forced into it. It is also when someone is forced to marry before they turn 18, even if they don’t want to. Forced marriage is illegal in the UK. It’s a form of domestic abuse and a serious human rights violation.
People may be pressured to marry against their will.
Is forced marriage illegal in the US?
A person may not force another to marry them or someone else, or to have sex.
Is forced marriage a religion?
Forced marriage affects people of all religions, ethnic groups, and cultures. All major faiths oppose forced marriage. In Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, and Sikh marriages, consent must be freely given. The 2014 Anti-social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act made it a crime to force someone to marry. This includes:
Taking someone overseas to force them to marry; marrying someone who lacks the mental capacity to consent to the marriage; breaching a Forced Marriage Protection Order is also a criminal offence.
Is forced marriage illegal in California?
If someone takes a woman against her will and forces her to marry them or someone else, they can go to prison.
Can a woman be forced to marry?
Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) Forced marriage is a human rights violation and a form of gender violence. Article 16 of the UDHR says that marriage must be agreed to by both people.
What do we call a forced marriage?
Forced marriages still happen in many cultures around the world, especially in South Asia and Africa. Some scholars say the term “forced marriage” is wrong because it makes it sound like the marriage is consensual. They say it should be called “forced conjugal association” or “conjugal slavery.” The United Nations says forced marriage is a human rights abuse because it violates the freedom and autonomy of individuals. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights says that a person’s right to choose a spouse and enter into marriage is important for their life and dignity. The Roman Catholic Church says that forced marriage is grounds for an annulment. For a marriage to be valid, both parties must consent freely. The Supplementary Convention on the Abolition of Slavery also says that both people must agree to get married. It also says that people must be at least a certain age to get married. The International Labour Organization says that forced marriage is a form of modern slavery. In 2009, the Special Court for Sierra Leone (SCSL) Appeals Chamber found the abduction and confinement of women for forced marriage in war to be a crime against humanity. The SCSL Trial Chamber in the Charles Taylor decision found that the term forced marriage should be avoided and described the practice in war as conjugal slavery. In 2013, the first United Nations Human Rights Council resolution against child, early, and forced marriages was adopted. The resolution says that child, early, and forced marriage violate human rights. It also says that these marriages prevent people from living their lives free from violence. It also says that these marriages have bad effects on people’s rights to education and health. It also says that the United Nations wants to end child, early, and forced marriage.
What to do if a girl forces you to marry her?
You don’t have to marry them. Tell her goodbye and don’t contact her again. Block her on all your devices. If she keeps contacting you, she’s stalking you. Get law enforcement involved.
Is forced marriage really bad?
In a forced marriage, one or both spouses don’t agree to get married. Some pressure is involved. Duress can be physical, psychological, financial, sexual, or emotional pressure. Forced marriage is a human rights abuse, especially when children are involved. Forced marriage of anyone under 18 is child abuse. A child forced into marriage is at risk of abuse. Forced marriage hurts children’s health and development and can lead to rape. If a child is forced to marry, they may be taken abroad for a long time, which could be child abduction. A child in this situation would miss school, which could affect their future. Even if the child isn’t taken abroad, they’re likely to be taken out of school to keep them from talking about their situation with their peers.
2. Risks. Forced marriage often leads to domestic violence and sexual abuse. If you are forced into marriage, you are at risk of rape and sexual abuse. You may not want to have sex or may not be old enough to consent. This can lead to unwanted pregnancies or forced abortions. Female genital mutilation may also be a factor in forced marriages. See also FGM.
Can a girl marry a girl?
Do adults get to marry each other? Yes, some places allow same-sex marriage. Some places don’t allow it because there’s no law.
Can you marry as and as?
AA marries AS. You’ll have kids with AA and AS, which is good. But sometimes all the kids will be AS, which limits their choice of partner. AS and AS shouldn’t marry because they could have a child with SS. AS and SS shouldn’t marry. SS and SS should not marry because they will have a child with sickle cell disease.
Solution: The only way to change the genotype is through a bone marrow transplant. It’s the only permanent cure for SS, SC, and CC. But it’s new, very expensive, and not available in Africa. It also has risks. The AUN Health Center provides health tips.
Is it OK to force someone to marry?
You can be forced into marriage by others. They may force you through violence, making you feel guilty or taking your money (theft). This is abuse. This is not okay. You should always have a choice.
Reasons why you may be pressured into marrying someone you don’t want to include:
Parents may feel pressured by others to force a marriage, or may see forced marriage as part of their religion or culture. Parents may be fearful about your family’s reputation. Parents may believe that your reputation can be damaged if you have a relationship outside of marriage or if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. If someone hurts or threatens to hurt you because of these, this is called “honor-based violence.” There may be a financial motive behind the marriage. Families may force marriages to keep money in the family or to get money.
📹 Fighting forced marriages and honour based abuse | Jasvinder Sanghera | TEDxGöteborg
Listed by The Guardian as one of the world’s 100 most Inspirational Women, Jasvinder Sanghera has been fighting forced …
Where’s the unconditional love? I often see people going on and on about an Indian parent’s unconditional love. But I don’t see it. Yes they will love u unconditionally if u choose the career they want, marry the person they want and live life according to their wish. But isn’t that conditional love? Guilt tripping the child, staying in abusive marriages and making the child responsible for it is so wrong.
Really killed me when she mentioned her father having her graduation picture on his wall. When you grow up knowing and believing certain things and ideologies, it’s hard to break free. I’m glad that I took the time to watch this today, and I feel better informed, awakened, and grateful. My heart goes out to all the victims of such tragedies. xoxo
I’m 26 and my parents somehow just want me to be married off. They think I’ll not survive without a man. I am a dentist currently working to take an exam that will lead to specialization. I am not ready or interested in marriage. And i can honestly relate to her. My dad does pressure me but he doesn’t throw a tantrum. My mom loses her calm over my marriage. Worst part is when all these families come in to ‘see’ you to get you into an arranged marriage. This is quite screwed up. Mostly female peers question me and pressure me into settling down. I am not ready for marriage and i don’t want it anytime soon. But my parents ignore it like it’s a pointless thing. They say “oh she’ll be fine once married”. Well hello no i won’t be! If I’m not ready and you marry me off even to the best guy in the whole wide world, i won’t be able to appreciate him and just walk out of it! I wish our mothers could break free of their own fears! UPDATE: wow it’s been years!! I’m 29 now and still have the same passion. I left a comment in the replies too but I guess so many who showed concern for me couldn’t read that. ❣️ I love you all. This is so surreal! I am truly humbled and thankful for the love you all had to give. ❣️
I read her book “Shame” I cried reading it!.. looking back at my childhood I can remember my friend’s sister who had run away and did exactly what Jaswinder had done.. it was only when I read her book did I know why my friend would never speak about her sister… Being Asian myself I too had to go through an arranged marriage.. and I was not happy… I only divorced him when my mum died! I totally resonate with her… now a divorcee and with three daughters of my own.. I would never in the world put my daughters through what I went through… when you have been brought up in a closed knit family it is so hard to go on yourself
I cried. Because I’ve seen my aunts talk about my NRI cousins the same way. Girls who are being too ‘Westernized’ or being too ‘Hippie’ but seeing and knowing them personally, I know that they are kinder, smarter and more compassionate than the so called ‘good-girls’ living back home. Ambition, happiness, and love do not follow codes of conduct. I also feel blessed to be raised by parents who refuse to give in to the stupid rules of the society, and never made me feel insignificant. Sometimes the irony comes too stark to me. Raised in India, a supposedly conservative country, I am more out-spoken than people I know raised in the US or UK under really harsh community pressures. She’s so right when she says just because she was raised in England didn’t mean being exposed to the same sense of freedom like everyone else. This really shook me. I’ve seen my friends and cousins from the US or the UK migrating back to India, and their parents throwing away a promising career, because of ‘Culture Shock’ and I’m beginning to think now, it’s not about culture shock. It’s about ‘honor’ and a false sense of pride that’s just another version of racial discrimination.
Quoting Khalil Gibran’s poem ‘Our Children’ which has stuck with me ever since I read it….goes somewhat like this: Your children are not your children. They’re the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you… You may give them your love but not your thoughts for they have their own thoughts.
When my match was made when I was 14 I was so excited. I’d never been so happy as I was on my wedding day. My parents we’re so proud of me…it wasn’t until after I was married that it all went wrong. My new husband was much older, which I didn’t really mind, but he was also cruel and his mother was even worse. They both beat me regularly. I was 21 when I ran and I took my daughter with me. She will never be married off to a man she doesn’t know.
Anyone else clap loud enough for the people in the back when she says that her daughter got a beautiful wedding day because of the decisions she made as a mother when her daughter was 16 years old? The joy she must have felt to see her daughter have the CHOICE and to be happily married just resonates with me.
I can’t even imagine or conceive that a family would say “it was better this way” in regard to their child having SET HERSELF ON FIRE. Or a mother put a plastic bag down her young daughter’s throat. This is just insane. It puts me to think that ideology and culture are so powerful as to have an entire society lose sense of humanity. The basic instinct of protecting your children and having them around can be shut off.
So revolting! A lot of these women who uphold these insane traditions have been brainwashed from a young age. They were once victims yet they become the perpetrators. Very sad! I remember perusal a documentary on a young Iranian girl called Banaz who was also murdered by her own family members. I truly hope many young women suffering with a life like this will make it out and find true freedom.
Read once about a British officer in India in the 19th century when he witnessed a funeral pyre being built for a recently deceased man. When he inquired further he was told that the pyre is not only for the husband but the widow as well. That it was a cultural norm that a widow should not outlive the husband. The British officer was enraged at this practice so he instructed his men to build a gallows next to the pyre. When asked what he was building, he explained that in our culture, anyone who burns alive a person for this type of reason will hang to death. The practice was stopped immediately and the pyre removed but the gallows stayed.
I am from Pakistan I am 15, my father and mother always said education is the key to a good life, the want me to become a doctor, I am so grateful for them all the people around me value a girl’s basic rights, I know alot of girls in my country suffur by getting married early, I want to change that some how ❤️✊🏻
I am 27 year old independent girl and a Chartered accountant.. My parents started planning for arranged marriage thats when I disclosed them about my love towards a boy who is also CA.. I expresses my desire to marry him.. My parents disagreed and ignored me.. They say I don’t have any right to love a man without their prior permission.. It kills me when I realized that their honour is more important than happiness of their only daughter. They say I bring shame to the family to love someone without their permissions. Every time I oppose their point of arrange marriage they start blackmailing me that they would kill themselves.. I love my parents and I want them to be happy but my happiness in my marriage is of utmost priority
Dear Jasvinder, your talk had me in tears. The same happened to my sister in law 45 years ago. She was kidnapped by her family and taken to the airport bound for India. She managed to alert a British friend what was happening and the police were called and she was taken into custody and kept in a safe place. She too had a choice to go back to her family or be disowned, and she chose the latter. Fast forward 10 years and she met my brother and fell in love. They married and had two beautiful children, she was happy in her new life but unfortunately the pain of what happened all those years ago, losing her family, and not being told when her parents died, it took it’s toll on her and she died of cancer at a young age. My heart aches that we lost her so young.
As a man born into a Sikh-identifying family (though not considered religious myself), I applaud this woman for her courage, tenacity and perseverance in staying the course to get on with her life whilst having kids of her own to witness their independence. The fact you harbour the will to forgive your family situation speaks volumes about your character. YOU GO GRRRRRRL!
To all HATERS and those 3 people who disliked this article, I pity your point of views and i wish you had better sense of moral judgement. Jasvinder Sanghera, we stand by you to fight for this cause. I pray to God that no girl ever faces this kind of situation. I bow down to in front of your courage and personality Jasvinder Sanghera. We need more people like you.
the way she talked about women being the main abusers too, hit me hard because it’s so true. Even the women are brainwashed to think these menist values are true Edit: I agree with some of the replies, South Asian men don’t fear talking up or breaking the rules but women have to obide because there is no other option for them and through that fear they know only to enforce the mindset on their daughters because if there daughters start “acting different” all the blame will always be on the women. Women are more strict because they don’t have the freedom to not
People don’t realize that family makes the biggest impact on ones life. To those who have kids, please love them unconditionally and with your whole heart and place them before anyone and anything. And to those who don’t want kids, please don’t have them if you know you won’t give them all the love they deserve and accept them for who they become.
Most people cannot begin to understand what it’s like to be abandoned by a mother and father. I was 14 when my mother sent me to a father I’d never met and 17 when he bugged out for a life with his new girlfriend. I’m a white, American male in middle life who is still trying to reconcile my self-worth with a perception of worthlessness and the shame of abandonment. Parents need to recognize the level of trauma they’re capable of visiting upon their children and the far reaching consequences of doing so.
So lovely to hear an intelligent, educated Punjabi woman, who is not ashamed to have been westernised. But how sad it makes me to know that she is one of only a tiny minority. And how sad it makes me to know that there are oh, so many, who cannot protest at the treatment they receive from the hands of their own mother, father and,even worse, from their community.
Brilliant Speech!! It is very much a real issue for people from South-Asian counties + Afghanistan! When I was 21 my father wanted me to marry this 36 years old man who he claim is the best man ever! I fought, staying in the same house, everyday with him who war pressurizing me, having my mom being accused of my shameful behavior was hell. I stand up for my rights and I used real Islamic teaching to shame them. I won, but I was Lucky that my parents werent psychopaths who would kill their daughter. But many girls arent as fortunate, the idea of leaving their families is so scary that they stay and obey. Like like any women in a abused relationship! Fear of Leaving and be on the streets is very powerful!
I’m seeing this for the first time and it’s just so potent. I met Jasvinder a few years ago and read her book when it was first published. What an amazing woman! She deserves all the support she and Karma Nirvana can get from all levels of society. Jasvinder deserves to be listed “as one of the world’s most Inspirational Women”! Thank you for sharing your life so others can live out theirs in freedom and personal security.
I find the idea of forced marriage to be very repugnant regardless of sex. At age 18 I was not ready for marriage. Even 50 years later I am still not ready for marriage. I am happily a perennial bachelor to the very end. Marriage is an institution that is not for everyone. I love this woman’s stand against marriage and for thinking for herself. I think it is a good idea for more Muslim (and former Muslim) adults to give Ted talks.
I have just today finished reading jasvinders book ‘ Shame ‘ and I could NOT put it down,what she went through was horrendous, Jasvinder is a VERY BRAVE lady,and what she does now to help young Asian girls is to be commended… Jasvinder ! I loved your book it was a REVELATION!!! Had no idea what goes on in Asian families ..
listening to this make me feel that i did the right thing. my mum kept showing me photos of guys and i kept saying no. i lived with them but didnt feel a part of the family because i was too Australian according to them. when i met and fell in love with my husband, i had to hide the relationship for a year then my mother told me to leave him. my father never let on that he knew but my mother constantly said what will the others say. i felt like i was suffocating. there was no physical abuse on a 22 year old me but there was plenty emotional. i tried to commit suicide because i wasnt brave enough to tell my parents what i wanted that i am not same as them. that night passed in agony but it gave me courage to talk to my dad, i could have been dead 10 hours ago but i didnt. once i spoke to them that i wanted to move out and live with my then boyfriend my mum cried and cried however my dad was rational. he said thats ok but you need to marry him first what will others think. as much as i loved my boyfriend, i wasnt ready to marry. i said no and i am leaving home because it is something i want to do for my sanity. my parents surprisingly chose to support me well dad did and mum had no choice but to agree with dad. they told other indians that i got married. now only 18 months later i am actually married to the same guy, he is not indian but my parents agree they couldnt have chosen anyone better. everytime they put pressure on me to marry and i stood up, i am glad that happened. im glad my parents chose to see me alive than kill me.
This also often happens to rape victims in the UK too. I havent seen my family for 8 years for speaking out about male sexist violence against me. We in the West are not so above endorsing violence against women and children as we like to believe. Honour violence is male supremacist violence, a more extreme version of domestic violence but with the same driver at its base, the subjugation of women and children as property rather than people.
I feel so lucky that my parents only disowned me for a few years – that they missed me and learned to adapt. Now there are just some parts of my life that we don’t talk about openly. The part about missing all the nice aspects of your culture made me cry like a little kid. Thanks so much for sharing your story Jasvinder.
I had a similar problem. I was engaged when I was born to a son of my father’s distant friend but when my mother said no, I was freed from the arrangement. I grew up in Canada, on the east coast where life is simple and people don’t get married usually. Cohabitation is the norm. But, that was unacceptable to my family and as a result, I was forced to marry my boyfriend when I was 20. I was not ready and neither was he but it was marriage or lose my family. I chose the former. We divorced after 6 years because I wanted to work and he wanted me to stay home and take care of him while he worked a minimum wage job. I met my second husband a month after I left my first and got pregnant. My father was livid and told me not to come home to Toronto until I was married. He told all my aunts and uncles I was married when I got pregnant and he refused to come to my wedding that I was forced to have. I had barely known the man I was impregnated by and it was one of the worst things I could have done because of the emotional damage this man caused me. My mother died 9 weeks after my first child was born and I was stuck with the man who I didn’t really want to marry. There’s a lot more to this story, but I think the idea is here.
Thank you for bring an awareness on force marriage. I’m living this life for the last 26 years, I’m getting a divorce. Born in a third world country ( Laos ). My parents come to USA for better life. But carried the backward thinking with them. I have all kind of medical issues related to mental health. If you’re in the same situation please reach out for help.
It is important to acknowledge that not all cases of honor based abuse are this extreme. they come in the form of not letting girls wear short clothing, drink alcohol /even if her brothers are doing it), speak up about taboo:ed topics or sexism, and marrying out of culture. An amazing speach from Sanghera! You have all my respect!!
I’m German and one of three sisters, but I grew up in Egypt. From a very young age my parents taught me about women’s rights issues that the girls around me faced, like forced marriage and FGM. When each one of us were born, my mother’s Egyptian friends would be devastated because they feared the anger of my father about having another daughter, but of course he loved us anyway. It made me so aware of how fortunate I am and that I need to support my fellow women who are not as lucky as I.
This made me cry… My in-laws wanted my now husband to have an arrange marriage. It took 5yrs and many tears for us to get married. My husband chose ME and I chose HIM. We live our lives the way we like and we don’t let them interfere. I sometimes fear my daughters will find an indian boy and go through the same I went through but in this case we will be there to support and help them in whatever way we can.
Growing up in London during the 80-90s this was common knowledge to me and my peers . Girls from Africa, Asia and the Middle East would talk of their parents making arrangements. Many were matter of fact about it, in some cases I became aware that violence and coercion were used. As parents we should listen more to our children about their experiences, you will learn many telling things. Our family rescued two young girls from abuse this way.
This article really hit me deep in the feels….I’m in a relationship right now. With someone in Pakistan, his family has very strict religious and honor based beliefs, they are Islamic. I am not, I’m Buddhist (a religion that doesnt even have a god) American, and white. It goes without saying to anyone with a brain cell that they dont like me…His dad talked to him a couple months ago…he said to him that I wasnt dedicated enough and would leave him because he cant marry someone who isnt Islamic. He said that he would find him a real woman, and for him to forget about me for the time being…I haven’t even mentioned the fact that i know he’s been abused by his mother and siblings, physically and emotionally. And a lot of it is because of me and because they dont approve of me…and the hardest part about it all is that i cant do anything about it… This just made me so emotional, legitimately bringing me to tears..i just wanna say, thank you for doing this talk, it gives me hope that there are people who are addressing the issue and willing to help
There are other stories too. I am a Muslim woman of Turkish heritage that was born and raised in Germany by blue color parents with no more than a elementary school education. But my parents LOVED me and always supported me. I became a single unwed mother in 1999 and not ones did they bother to worry about what others think or religion. My mother watched my son while I finished university. A few years later I married my Jewish American husband with the blessing and support of my parents. Almost 17 years into our Union we now are the proud parents of 4 children. I guess what I am trying to say is don’t put everyone in the same pot. There are parents that do what they are supposed to do. Which is love, support and protect their children no matter what.
“You can only embrace culture and tradition if you only have people to embrace it with” -True that I feel very similar to her in a way and though I didn’t have it as extreme, I was kind of in her shoes. We all should enjoy and embrace what other cultures offer, not be shamed and ridiculed into it if we don’t fit the expectations of that culture. Hats off to Jasvinder.
I tell u one of the best spee ches I have ever heard on Ted! The experience,the Emotions the whole incident together with its recovery process was played out right before my eyes!!..I felt the energy,every trapped tear,and all the unspoken volume of energy,bounce off my PC screen here in west London!
I will never understand how parents can do this to their children especially mothers. The baby that grew inside you, the baby you watched growing into a person. You love and nurture and protect this child just to end up killing them in the name of “honour”. How ? What happened to all the love, time, effort you put into this girl for so many years? How does all that just disappear and how does their heart not ache while they suffocate their own child ?
wow….truth in every word you said!! some things are so “normalised” in our cultures that it becomes a part of honour, culture and communities but at the end of the day it’s all about power and control. I am so passionate about changing the views and perceptions of society about their definition of honour, culture, religion etc……..
I worked at a grocery store in New Zealand with a young Indian man who was in an arranged marriage. He confided with me that he was very unhappy in his marriage and that as a young man he would rather be going to nightclubs and dating Kiwi women. Another Indian I worked with showed me photos on his phone of the girl he was going back to India to marry and I say girl because she looked about thirteen or fourteen. A group of Sikh’s I worked with were shocked to learn I was 36 and not married they said in their culture this would never happen that if I was a Sikh my parents would have found me a wife by the time I was 26.
I admire you for not allowing your culture to kill you. I also, thank God for allowing you to get away and find the life you wanted. I am so glad you talked to your daughter about your past and she was able to marry the man she wanted. Lastly, I am glad your father left a message for you to see in your old house to let you know he was proud of you. Even though, he could not speak the words to you or be at your graduation, I could only imagine him in private sobbing of special years missed. Moreover, wishing he could have helped you. But, I know that those thoughts you may not care about. But, he could not get out of a culture that was set up for man. To be dishonored they could gave killed you. J a glad you have lived to tell your story. I am glad you did not take your life. You have so much to share to help young women who are going through what you have in countered. You are brave! You are a hero! Never be asked of what you had to do to live freely! You have your readers and fans as family. Family is not always who you are born but who take you in there hearts and care about you and your safety. I will keep you in my prayers. I pray God will keep protection around you and you girls. If you have a husband him as well.
From what I have seen the immigrant parents tend to be more conservative and orthodox than people back in their home country. It’s like immigrant parents have this longing to be back in their home country that they tend to cling to what they think is the cultural bond, but they don’t realise that the world has moved on.
Jasvinder Ma’am, you truly are an inspiration and the voice of those women and girls that have been silenced through the fear of verbal and physical abuse. With your continued effort in fighting forced marriages and honour based abuse, I am hopeful that in the years ahead we will witness those changes that you have been seeking. God Bless You and continue with all your good work.
Most Indians say arranged marriages aren’t wrong, I agree, but only when the partners who the parents had made meet each other are ready for marriage and decide when to get married on their own. But in India, you meet your supposed spouse, they say yes or no in week, they arrange marriage dates even before the guy and girl get to know each other properly, they start pouring money in preparation of weddings until one of them realise they don’t want to marry the other, which by then money is all wasted. Why can’t parents just set up, and let the children decide on their own pace when they want to marry.
All of my kids, now near 50, were beaten and abused by their dad. I was beaten by him for 10 years, severely, I was molested by age 3 continued till 15. I’m blessed in that I did not carry on the abuse, nor my did my children, but I can see clearly how it affected us all. I’m now 67, I still struggle, but I have been to lots of counseling, I don’t know that it helped other than giving me a sounding board.
Asalaam wa alaykum, Namastay, Good Afternoon to everybody. I was the first one in my family to break off my engagement at the age of 17. He was 7yrs older than me living in Pakistan. It was my choice to get engaged to him as I liked him secretly for many years. A great human being who respected everybody, however I changed my mind. After 6months within joining college I realised that I was too young and was discovering myself and knew I will regret it. And after other reasons i broke it off politely. Best life decision I ever made.
as a somali that culture of force marriage definitely exist back home but not as extreme as indians,bengali or even middle east countries.somali parents try to arrange marry you to someone they know but dont force. its just too sad and painful that women have to face these kinda of behavior because of pride och honor
She’s right, Asian women do have to lead double lives even when it’s not because of the fear of being killed. Just upholding the family reputation is burden enough and it’s easier to conform than rebel. Hopefully with each passing generation it’ll change, I see it happening already. Jasvinder is a true inspiration
wow!! I’ve heard stories and think about this… my baptist pastor father wanted to arrange a marriage for me, I was disowned many times and there is a great divide with my family bc they choose religion over love…. I ache for anyone forced to do anything. Thank you for speaking out and being there for those who are forced into this.
These things she said I feel sad for her but if one say that every culture or religion from Asia is like this than please don’t believe. I myself from a punjabi and Sikh family being a girl have all rights given by my family. They always supported me I went to study what was my choice .. I choose at what age I want to get married. . What job I want to do ? Nobody forced me to do anything against my wish. And same go see with other girls . I dont know any girl from my village, University, relatives who was or is forced like this. At end these kind of things are mindset of some people not all country or cast or religion or culture. Be open minded guys. Thanks n Waheguru ji may bless u all.
Fabulous that you were courageous and wise to honour yourself and your feelings. Long term better to disown such parents’ (in your case, your mother), who in reality do not truly care for the well-being of their children. Sadly such persons possess such a warped concept of the term honor. Why do they even have children? You are doing a splendid work and wish you and your charity work every success.
Praise the Lord for your strength and bravey igniting the passion to help others. My heart shrank with the death of your sister, your own mom and the effect of that horrid system. Thanks for all you do to rescue the other souls, comfort other survivors, honor the lost lives and do break the cycle. I am a survivor of a Caucasian man here in USA, a latina mother of 2 girls badly harmed for life by him who doesn’t accept a woman standing up and against his stance so your own rebellion against oppression is a breath of fresh hope regarding my girls finding their way out of abuse
On twitter I asked why pakistani cricket player doesn’t look into eyes of reporter women not once. Why is he rudely looks into space and appears not to be interested be next to her…like she was nothing. I was attacked by muslim women that it is showing of “respect” that it is inpolite to look at woman that is not your wife, mother or sibling What should I do when I meet brainwashed muslim women that fights for rights to be oppressed by muslim patriarchal culture where woman is taking only as source of filth and immoral seduction?