The traditional wedding ceremony involves the exchange of vows, where the couple prepares their vows and repeats them after the officiant. The officiant facilitates the exchange of vows with a simple announcement, such as “I, GROOM, take you, BRIDE, to be my wife.” The bride and groom must give their consent by saying qubool hai three times to the officiant.
The ring keeper gives the ring to the groom or partner, and they must wait while Partner 1 places the ring on Partner 2’s finger. They should not try to put the ring on the other’s finger and say things at the same time. After all the boutonnieres are attached, they should double-check for security and make any final adjustments if needed.
For the bride, the bride can choose from various sweet and sentimental songs, such as “Marry Me” by Train, which speaks to the everlasting love between two people. For groomsmen, personalized leather wallets or keychains can be a great option.
The traditional wedding speech order goes father of the bride, groom, best man, and other toasts. In LGBTQ weddings, it is also common for both parties to speak together.
Tuxedos can be used to make the groom stand out from the groom and groomsmen. The toast is something that the speaker says and is repeated by the wedding guests.
In summary, the traditional wedding ceremony order includes the exchange of vows, the preparation of the vows, and the use of unique and memorable vows.
📹 Incredible Groom Wedding Vows | Cam’s Personal and Heartfelt Words to his bride Alysia
After filming over 700 weddings, I can tell when a groom puts his all into writing his personal wedding vows. Cam truly expressed …
Is 4 bridesmaids too little?
The number of bridesmaids depends on the size of the wedding. A small wedding of up to 100 people probably won’t have 9 bridesmaids. A wedding of 500 people may have 5 bridesmaids. Brides usually choose between 3 and 5 bridesmaids. Your bridesmaids should be people you want to see on your wedding day. They’re your own personal Golden Globes. They’re the people you can count on in a crisis and for a good laugh. If you have five close friends, go with five! If you have one great friend, go with just one. There are no rules. Anything we share is just guidance.
Is 9 bridesmaids too many?
The number of bridesmaids depends on the size of the wedding. A small wedding of up to 100 people probably won’t have 9 bridesmaids. A wedding of 500 people may have 5 bridesmaids. Brides usually choose between 3 and 5 bridesmaids. Your bridesmaids should be people you want to see on your wedding day. They’re your own personal Golden Globes. They’re the people you can count on in a crisis and for a good laugh. If you have five close friends, go with five! If you have one great friend, go with just one. There are no rules. Anything we share is just guidance.
Are you supposed to have the same amount of bridesmaids and groomsmen?
It’s your choice. There are guides for different kinds of weddings, but it’s your choice. It depends on what you think is best. In a formal wedding with over 200 guests, it’s normal to have 6 to 10 bridesmaids and a similar number of groomsmen. Keep the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen the same.
In formal weddings, you may also want to include a ring bearer and a flower girl. For a semi-formal wedding, you may want to include 1-6 bridesmaids and groomsmen. You can have a ring bearer and flower girl if you want.
What to do with more bridesmaids than groomsmen?
If the groups are unevenly matched, you may have to get more creative. If there are 10 bridesmaids and two groomsmen, have them enter separately, says Chaban. Each bridal party member can walk down the aisle individually. People can enter by themselves, but at a quicker pace. How should the wedding party stand at the altar? The wedding party should stand in order of importance, with the best man and maid/matron of honor closest to the couple. If the wedding party is uneven, Chaban suggests having the best man and maid/matron of honor stand beside the couple while the rest sits in the front row. Here are more ideas for how your uneven bridal party should stand at the altar.
What is a male maid of honour called?
More couples are having co-ed wedding parties, including brides asking men to stand with them at the altar. The main job of an honor attendant or man of honor is to support the bride and groom. You can make this role more fun for you both. If you’re not sure who to ask, you can invite anyone important to you, says Carina Van Son of Sinclair & Moore. A man of honor could be a family member or a close friend. It could also be a teenage or adult son, stepson, or nephew. These modern etiquette considerations will help you create a flawless man of honor experience for the both of you. “Don’t follow tradition just for the sake of it,” says Van Son. As you figure out what it means to be a man of honor, enjoy the planning process together.
Is there a male version of bridal shower?
The groom roast is a modern version of a traditional bridal shower. A groom roast is a “shower”-type event where the groom is surrounded by important men in his life, celebrating and having fun. The traditional bachelor party may not always be appropriate for younger guys or older relatives, so this is a great way to include them in a group ritual that can include sports, gaming, poker, and humor. The groomsmen and/or father of the groom plan the group’s activities. These can include poker, sports, a team-building activity, or video games. The event should take place on the same day as the bride’s bridal shower. It should be in the afternoon or early evening. Like a bridal shower, guests can give the groom practical, sporty, or home-improvement gifts. The groom should be served light snacks and refreshments that reflect his tastes. Something grilled, deep fried, or roasted is always a good choice. The program should include a “roast” of the groom. Guests make fun of the groom with stories, jokes, and tributes. A groom roast is a chance for older and younger people to get to know each other before the wedding. It’s also a way for important family members to feel included and have fun at the groom’s expense! Learn more about groom roasts and other groom-related resources at The Grooms List.
Is it OK to have less bridesmaids than groomsmen?
The rules don’t have to be the same on both sides. But what if a couple wants different things for their wedding? What if your partner wants to skip attendants, but you want a big wedding party? That’s fine. You can have as many bridesmaids and groomsmen as you want. The numbers don’t have to be even. Your photos will be just as lovely, but let your photographer know. Men and women don’t have to stand on one side of the aisle. Brides can have bridesmen and vice versa. It’s about choosing the people you love most, regardless of gender. If you still want bridesmaids and groomsmen, don’t give them up or limit your love for them on your wedding day. A wedding party is a meaningful tradition that creates memories. If you don’t want bridesmaids or groomsmen, that’s okay.
Is 7 bridesmaids too many?
How many bridesmaids should you have? There’s no normal number of bridesmaids, so you get to decide. You and your partner should decide together based on who your closest friends, family, and other must-have attendants are. Choosing bridesmaids is different from choosing anyone just because you can. You might think you should choose a specific number of bridesmaids to match the number of attendants your partner has, but that’s not necessary. If your spouse wants to include their 10 best friends from high school but you’re only including your three close cousins, don’t worry about matching numbers. An uneven wedding party will still look perfect. You might also hear that the number of bridesmaids and wedding attendants depends on the size and type of your wedding. The more formal the wedding, the more attendants you should have. A black-tie wedding with more than 200 guests may have up to 12 attendants. Don’t let tradition dictate your decision. You should have as many bridesmaids as you want, no matter what. Choose people you can’t imagine not having by your side on your special day.
Are groomsmaids a thing?
The bride doesn’t have to have all-female attendants. The same goes for the groom. It’s fine to have bridesmen and groomsmen. All weddings are unique. They should reflect the bride and groom. You can make up the rules as you go. More and more weddings have mixed-gender bridal parties. Bridesmen and Groomsmaids Attire. What should I wear? What should they wear? Some women wear tuxedos next to the groom (like Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City). If you like this look, it’s perfect. Another idea for the bridesmaid is to wear a dress that matches the groomsman’s suit. Bridesmen should match their ties, bow ties, or pocket squares to the bridesmaids’ dresses.
What is a Jack and Jill party?
A Jack and Jill party is a wedding shower for the couple. It’s like a bridal shower, but the groom and his family and friends are there too. This party lets engaged couples spend time with loved ones before their wedding. This trend is new and different for everyone involved. We consulted New York City-based wedding planner Jennifer Brisman to answer your questions. “It’s special when men and women come together,” she says.
What is the male version of bride?
When marrying, the bride is usually called the bride. A bridegroom is usually accompanied by a best man and groomsmen.
Etymology: The first mention of the term “bridegroom” is from 1604. It comes from Old English, where it is made up of “bride” and “man.” It comes from the Old Saxon brūdigomo, the Old High German brūtigomo, the German Bräutigam, and the Old Norse brúðgumi. The style of the bridegroom’s clothing can be influenced by many factors.
📹 10 Wedding TRADITIONS to SKIP (but only if you want to ✌🏻)
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Instead of a bachelor/bachelorette party we had a a bonfire with friends a couple months prior, and then a spa day with moms and sisters the week prior (wedding talk was banned). Totally better for us and the combo of the 2 of them was cheaper and more relaxing. Although after the wedding we had a paintball tournament…. nothing to do with the stress of hosting a party with 150 people.
Thank you SO much! I want a dry wedding. I am an alcoholic and I have many family members who are. But, I’m getting so much flack for wanting a dry wedding. “It’s boring. No one will dance. No one will come”. Thank you for giving me permission to tell them no alcohol! *Got married 11/28/21 with a dry wedding and it was AMAZING. People danced. People enjoyed themselves. People who said they weren’t coming ended up coming and having fun! It’s your day, do what you want! ♥️♥️
I once heard an idea for instead of a ring bearer that I love. (Though it takes probably a small wedding and complete trust in all your guests.) You have your guests pass the rings from person to person to warm the rings/give their blessing/say a prayer/whatever. By the time for them, they, in theory, would be at the front for you
My daughter small intimate wedding in September 2019 was divine. She skipped almost all traditions and didn’t listen to any of Martha Stewart advise. She didn’t do flower or garter toss, first dance, favors, articlegrapher, no bridal party, no kids, toast, speeches were limited only mom (me) bride and groom spoke and thanked everyone. It was a prefect day of being present, enjoying their guest talking to everyone, taking pictures, listening to the harpest play, eating the most delicious food and drinking the best wine. Their honeymoon was in the Maldives. They preferred to invite less people, skip traditions to save for their future house, children and have an amazing honeymoon.
I am a wedding photographer and my wedding was everything but traditional, and it was PERFECT for me. I have been working weddings for over 5 years now so I have known for a while what I don’t want to waste money on, so I had no bridal party, a free ceremony space, a ceremony one day and reception the next morning- brunch buffet with bloody and mimosa bar. The whole weekend was exactly what I wanted and we saved a lot of money.
Oh my god I got SO MUCH FLACK in a bridal group for saying it was okay for brides to be uncomfortable with a garter toss/not want to do it!! Was told that my boundaries didn’t matter, that I was too immature and childish to get married if I wasn’t okay with doing it??? Wild how aggressive people get over OTHER PEOPLES’ wedding choices
The only things we’re doing on this list is pro officiant (only priests, mayors and such can wed in Norway, we’re doing a courthouse wedding which is free in our city), tacos for dinner, alcohol (BYOB after dinner) and a small cake (the rest cupcakes)! No flowers, decor, paper stuff.. We’re only doing the things we WANT to, which isn’t much! 60 ish guests, about $4500 cost max 😀
To add to the cake thing, some people want a cake for the look and tradition, so in such a situation you can have a small wedding cake made to cut and take photos with, and serve much cheaper sheet cake on the side to your guests. It can be the same flavors and everything, it just doesn’t cost as much to make and decorate.
Hi Jamie!!!! If it might be useful to anyone, I also think that you can skip favors, in fact, I think you said on multiple occasions that most guests do not take favors with them anyways. As a rule of thumb, don’t let family/friends/vendors/people push you to do things you don’t want to do! Stay safe everyone ❤
Can you possibly do a article on all the traditions that there are. Not necessarily the ones we should do but just what a typical traditional wedding day includes from the time we wake up until we leave the venue. I’m newly engaged and am not necessarily wanting to do all the traditional things but I do want to know them all so I can pick and choose what right for us
Thank you for your thoughts about a dry wedding! We’re having a dry, brunch wedding and I’ve struggled explaining to people that it’s expensive and puts a lot of responsibility on us 🙃 Also, after perusal your website for a while, you inspired me to become an event planner/coordinator. I work in the wedding industry already (bridal gowns) and never thought about doing it professionally until a friend asked me to coordinate hers so I came to your website for advice!
It’s nice to hear more people are going the nontraditional route. The ONLY wedding tradition I have any interest in keeping is the “trash can” gift tradition, which was created by my great uncle, and gets a lot of the family involved. Practical items, gag gifts, as long as you can tie it to the wash-line and fit it all in the garbage can, anything goes! 🙂
My guest list is 32 people myself and groom included. Our wedding officiant is my step brother. My ring bearer is my almost adult-teenage brother. Our desert is s’mores (outdoor September wedding). My photographer is my cousin (who is building a photography business). We hope it will naturally transition from wedding to reception and into bonfire party. Our wedding venue is also our lodging so no grand exit. Just casual big party and get together with our closest family/friends. It’s small and covid-approved.
I’m a diligent student who has seen some of these already 😅 However, I’m getting married in September 2020, and you have helped me be the bride I want to be, and let us have the wedding we want, shame free! Nothing about our wedding is ‘typical’ or ‘traditional’ and our vendors and families are so excited to experience it once it happens ♥️ it will be OUR wedding OUR way! Thank you Jamie
My stepson got married last year. They had a fancy, sit-down dinner and a DJ. Everybody left after the first dance because there wasn’t any alcohol. Most people don’t like to dance sober. The place was rented until midnight but everyone (except immediate family) had left by 7:30. The bride was heartbroken.
We’re doing a grand entrance mainly because my fiance and I are extra as hell. It’s something that we’re genuinely excited for, and I totally understand how some brides and grooms would not be down for it. As for garter and bouquet toss, I think we’re going to throw them at the same time, and whoever catches what can! Again, we’re extra and would love to see our friends Duke it out (even though 90% are happily single and will likely run in the opposite direction 😂)
Could you do a article on how to handle bridesmaids that you now regret asking to be a bridesmaid??😅 my maid of honor is my fiancé’s sister and it seems that she thinks it’s her wedding? Literally everything I do pisses her off and she complains about it to the other bridesmaids. And I. Can’t. Handle. It. Hellllppppp 😐😐😐
Jamie you are so sweet totally my fav human here at Youtube! Thank you so much for all of your advices here. Love your website and keep going back. Sending my best vibes and well wishes to you and your loved ones! Going to (hopefully still) have our wedding 1th of August with under 30 people total at a historical venue. Short lovely ceremony at outdoors park-like-garden area and then casually eating, drinking and having a good time together & looking around the venue (there is an art exhibition and the place have a long history + a few little things to get involved if wanted so). Then casually going together at local club if feeling like dancing a night away. Only traditions and/or well known wedding things we are going to have is my dad’s speech. We are not into “wedding looking like wedding”, dressing like a bride and groom, we don’t have anything tossed, no games and quizzes nor anything leaded program, no traditional wedding food and no cake (still good warm food and dessert yes we have catering), no bridal/groom’s party, no huge budget, no professional photo- or articlegraphers (we are so lucky to have both a sister who is great with pro camera and want to give wedding photos as a wedding gift + we have a polaroid camera for quests to use). Just 2 of us getting married after 10 years together and having the nearest ones spending that special day with us. So what I am trying to say with this is that if you are reading this please remember that you and your soulmate are the most important so please do whatever you love to do with your wedding and that wedding day is just a one day and it’s going to be lovely & you gonna have so much golden memories no matter what.
Omg I NEEDED to hear this at this exact moment! I’ve watched all your articles like 3 times through throughout this last year as I’ve been planning, but the grand entrance thing has been giving me issues and I’ve been wondering what to do. I feel such relief, and all it took was Jamie Wolfer telling me that I don’t need to do it! ❤️❤️❤️
It’s so much fun to see how many traditions are around the glob. I’m personally live in Poland and there’s not such thing as grand exit, bride and groom just stays to the end of the party. Registry it’s quite rere same as flower girls and ring bearer. And in legal way there is ceremony in a church or with official in city hall (or in any place you want with extra charge). And usually there’s something name “oczepiny” which is around 12pm and it’s time for games like tossing a bouquet (or a veil, with groom a tie)
I am really proud that we did not do most of the things on your list (especially the little kid flower girl. Total fan girl moment but I digress). Thx for giving permission to those engaged couples who strive to have a wedding that is completely their own. ALSO YOUR ENDING IS ADORABLE AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF YOU AND YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BUSINESS
I bought this using the coupon code, and I’m single… this is how you know shelter in place has driven me crazy. I bought it because I wanted to understand weddings as someone who never really cared before Jamie really made it an interesting and exciting topic with all her info on how a wedding is like a symphony and it all works together. It’s really useful information.!!! I probably won’t need it for longer than a month and debated returning but the info she gives is DEF worth $100. Thanks, Jamie, I love your content!
We’re planning to have tea and the cake in the afternoon after the ceremony. Our package at the venue included dessert and evening snacks, so it felt like too much to have cake after that. This makes it cheaper as well because no cocktail hour – there will be enough wine and beer for the rest of the evening. Plus, it makes it easier to include kids in this part of the day and then ask that they’ll go home for the dinner part of the evening.
Love this article Jamie! For officiant, depends on your state if they accept people that get certificate online (my state has strict rules on officiants). Another note is that my fiancé and I are having mixed gender sides (4 women 1 man for bridal party, 2 women 3 men for groomsmen) it’s all about who you want up there!
Yes!! Thank you! I’m not having cake at my wedding because I worked as a server at a wedding venue and SOOOOOOOO much cake is wasted. People don’t want cake after eating appetizers, getting a drink, AND having a meal. We throw away most of the cake and it’s a real shame. Also donuts and other desserts so so delicious, unique, and just not as heavy when you’re about to dance.
Thank you sooo much for this article. It was my first article of you and I clicked subscribed two minutes after it. I’m having a really hard time explaining people I don’t want children at my wedding. I’m a kindergarten teacher and I know, If there are children, I’ll be on mode kindergraten all the way through the wedding. I don’t want to. But people think I’m just being rude for not inviting their children. I’m super tired of this! Loved your perspective. Agree with all. Oh, and the cake? At least here in Portugal the meals in a wedding are soo heavy that people usually don’t even eat cake in the end. So, why is it there for?
LOL My friend is hopefully getting married this year (I say hopefully because of this entire covid snaps thing) and we’re planning her bachelorette party whether she wants one or not. But basically what we’re planning is getting an airbnb with a pool, pigging out on pizza and other favorite foods, drinking some wine and soda and having like a girls night sleep over haha and none of it is coming out of her pocket
Sooo, I’ve just been named coordinator for a wedding. I’m honored and said yes, before realizing: I actually hate weddings… God I hate them. I think it’s a complete waste of time, energy and money. But I see that it’s really important to some people and I want the couple to have their special day as great as possible. I try to find out everything about weddings and landed on here. You are amazing Jamie! You would help me a lot, if you could make a article with a few things that are crucial for coordinators to do oder remember. Greets from Switzerland!
at my venue, the end of the aisle is folding doors that open into our cocktail hour/dinner tables room, so we are just going to go straight to our cocktail hour from the ceremony. we will essentially be the first people at our cocktail hour, and are skipping the grand entrance all together. we are going to get all our photos done beforehand, so we can spend the entirety of our cocktail hour/reception with our guests. we are also skipping a lot of other things that are “traditional”. like the bouquet/garter toss, a flower girl, favors, programs, mail in RSVPs (we will have online RSVPs), and excessive toasts. basically, all the things we dont want/dont like at other weddings, we arent doing.
Jamie can you also make a article about how to deal with not having your family’s support in the wedding? My family and I aren’t on great terms due to conflicts and such. It makes me sad that they can’t be on my special day but I’ve already accept that. So my issue is who’s going to walk me down the isle and how (if I should) can explain to my guests that my family won’t be around. I know people will probably ask and I really don’t feel like explaining, but I feel like just letting people know so they won’t have to hush behind my back and asking questions. I’d appreciate it if you have any insights about this issue and if you ever had an event where the family of the bride is not around to support her.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING NO CAKE IF YOU DON’T WANT CAKE! 👏👏👏 I keep telling people I don’t want a wedding cake because I’m not going to spend an arm and a leg on a desert I don’t even care for and they think I’m crazy! “You’re at least going to have a cake for you and your hubby to cut, right?” Probably not! What part of I don’t care for cake don’t y’all understand? Okay sorry. End rant. 🤣
I LOVE cake 😅 but in attempt to save money, I am getting a small 2-tier for the wedding party, so we can have the pics, and getting sheet cakes for the rest of the guests. I asked my fiance if he wanted to do a garter toss and he was like NO. 😄 as far as the grand entrance, we plan to do one, but no frills, just announcing the maids/men, pics of each, etc.
I love that article! You should tell the guests beforehand if you make mayor changes to traditions (so that they can e.g. bring swimwear if you have a poolparty or eat before the party if there is no complete meal), but otherwise – there should be something to dring, something to eat, somewhere to sit for the guests. The rest – do what you want! Friends of mine did not have decorations. Was it a great wedding? Yeah! Other friends had the ceremony only the two of them and the guests came later to the party – was still fun! I don’t like flowers, I don’t want flowers on my wedding. Either will make a bouquet of buttons (I love sewing) or won’t have one at all. I’m from Germany, and in most regions guests do only give money to the bridal couple (cash, nicely decorated, as the cash lovers we Germans are), because nearly all couples live together before getting married. And it’s fine. Let them use the money to pay the wedding bills or the honey moon – or do what they want!
Hello! Would you be able to do a article on appropriate day of wedding timelines? And perhaps talk about unusual timelines people have done but worked perfectly! I’m asking because I had an idea of having a reception style party the night before. I’m thinking all of the speeches and long-winded activities to be done there. Then keep the day of reception basic. Like serving a few eats and have a first dance. What do you think?
I skipped bouquet toss (didn’t want to lose mine, didn’t want to spend more money on a toss bouquet) and the garter toss (not my style…I’ve watched too many awkward ones). No regrets! Love this article…do what you want for YOUR wedding! My ring bearer was also 19 years old–some people raised their eyebrows, but on the day of, it was a lot of people’s favorite surprise moment! Everything else was pretty traditional, but it was fun to make these little details “us”, and have our wedding be memorable for our guests AND fun for us 🙂 Edit: we also had a dry wedding! Yes some people will give you a hard time…but I told them we were on a strict budget, didn’t want people making the long drive home in bad weather possibly drunk, and have some people in both my husband and I’s immediate family that are very against alcohol. The day of, no one said anything, we had lots of coffee, and an awesome dance playlist, and people partied long and hard despite it being a “dry” event. Having alcohol would have cost us easily another $2-3k, plus extra event insurance. not worth it for us
Getting married in a couple weeks and we opted to not have a bridal party or bachelorette party, my officiant is my best friend whom has officiated LOTS of weddings, we have 50 guests (perfect size!) and my good friend is our “flower girl” (we will be on a glacier so he will be dancing and throwing small pieces of ice haha). Cant wait!
My hubbie and I met thru a Christian 4wd club, which supported 2 Australian organisations. We asked guests just to donate to those, instead of any present/registry. We had everyone we knew come to the service, and just bring domething for morning tea instead, so stacks of food. It was too early in the day for grog, which was fine with us. Too crowded for dancing either. Then my brother had us for lunch: bridal party, interstate guests, and immediate family. We had photos in his garden, so we weren’t holding up lunch. We had a spit roast company do our food. My whole outfit was from thrift stores/ op shops, so cost <$20A. I did my own artificial flower bouquet etc, and didn't toss it. I did small real flower bouquets on ends of pews, given as thank yous during speeches. We decorated my and a friend's 4wd for wedding cars. No grand entrance/exit, as service/ morning tea were on the same church site. A friend who always had pretty makeup did mine. My mum made a normal size version of my favourite cake to cut at morning tea, and then prewrapped slices of a couple more to have on plates ready to hand out. Whole thing (in 1999) cost $1500A, not counting rings. My 2 attendants walked me down the aisle with the 3 kids I worked with at a boarding school for moderately intellectually disabled kids. Wouldn't change a thing. No bridal shower/ batchelorette parties. No garter/ flower toss. No wedding favours, or ring bearer.
We have been planning for our wedding this August since 2018. But with the whole corona virus we do not want to post pone our wedding for yet another year and we realized that we didn’t actually want to a big reception afterwards. So we are planning for a small barbecue at my fiancée parents place. The gradual lifting of restrictions in my area will decide on the number of people that we will be inviting. Hopefully everything works out in the end! 🇨🇦
I love this vid! Yes 😍 definitely really enjoyed perusal this and being like hell yeah we’re not doing that… Or that… Or that. Just great to feel justified in our choices. Big thing – Cake. We’re not having one in the traditional sense. Raised a lot of eyebrows. But me and the fella just don’t really like cake. And why spend that much money on it, it’s obscene! So, as there was contention we found a compromise. Still not doing doing traditional wedding cake. But instead doing a cake made of cheese (full tiers and everything, but we love different cheeses so it fits perfectly with us as a couple). It’s LOADS cheaper. Also, my grandma is paying for it because she really wants us to have cake. Another point of contention on that – we’re not having a cake cutting picture. We don’t want to pose with our cake. We’ll get the photographer to take a lovely pic of the cake set up. Then the staff at our hotel will take it away and cut it then put it out again with crackers for all our guest to enjoy with the evening reception. To be honest I’m saying this story in the comments because I’m hoping someone else reading this will realise it’s okay to do that, even when lots of close family are against it. It’s your wedding and you should 100% stand your ground. That’s what we’re doing every step of the way!
I do not like cake. So we are doing a small cutting cafe for my fiancé and I that’s red velvet (only favor I like) then cupcakes. Also we’re going to have a contest (for a honeymoon fund) to see who should get their face smashed with cake. We are getting married next October so we may do pie because my fiancé loves pie. I’m def here for no cake. Also we won’t being doing a Carter toss or Bouquet. I don’t like that tradition. So I’m here for that! Love your articles! It has helped me plan my wedding.
Literally my fiance and I cracked open our wedding planning book we got and crossed off a bunch of this stuff on the checklists. Ring bearer? Nope, that’s what a best man is for. Flower girl? Nah his daughter MIGHT walk down with him. Grand entrance and exit are a no. We’re doing pumpkin pie instead of cake (made by me). No bouquet toss or garter toss. We’re not even doing a articlegrapher. There are so many things that you just don’t need to do. A lot of the traditions are outdated and are just boring and repetitive.
Thank you for this article girl it was right on and thank you about the cake I worked as a bakery manager and saw so many cakes wasted at weddings. Just your honest opinion how do you feel about a bride planning her own bridal shower. All my bridesmaids live out of town except one and I’m not sure anything is planned. I just feel it’s not as fun as I thought it was going to be. Any advice would really help
Omg aa soon as i announced my engagement and picked my Maid of Honor she tried taking over my entire wedding….like When we do the bridal entrance i want to walk in to this song and i had to tell her like im not doing a bridal party entrace(like to me its stupid and cringe annnnnd the ceremony is on the same site as venue((cuz also making people drive here and there is ridiculous)) sooo she was all mad then she was mad because i told her i wasnt doing a bouquet toss or garter toss cuz i also think thats gross no man needs to bw under their womans dress in front of their parents and grandparents groossssss. Anyhow literally everyone thinks its their wedding and the endless opinions are giving me PTSD
I’m not doing most of these traditions on Jamie’s list. No registry, bouquet/garter toss, grand exit, and such. We are having a cake, pro officiant, bridal party albeit a small one – just three on each side and one of our groomsmen will be just 6 yrs old when our wedding takes place this Oct. Guest count is only 42 and that’s including us, the bride and groom, seated dinner but with such a small guest count the restaurant we’re having has made it surprisingly affordable, we just have to meet a 1200 dollar minimum and with a small cocktail hour and three course dinner that will be so easy to do that we plan to throw in an additional amount of cash just to make sure all guest have several options and leave full.
My wedding is going to be simple simple, no bridal party, no kids and only 30 people. I convinced my fiance to get ready with me the morning of the wedding beacuse Im not close with my mother and mot super close with his and my sisters cant even make it. So were going to have a private first look and vows in the hotel room before we leave 🥰
Officiants are definitely a regional thing! In my province in Canada (British Columbia), you cannot legally have just anybody officiate your wedding. There’s no way to ordain online, you have to use a government official or religious leader. That being said, the official government officiants are fantastic and only about $100 or less 🙂
I Will not have the flower girl, my sister will do it. No bachelorette party. I will have only virtual invitations. I will be spending my morning wedding alone. I will be having only 80 people attending it. No throwing my bouquet away girl lol. No first look. No dj, only a spotify playlist. No favors. Pizza and appetizers only. No alcohol. No dance in front of everybody, that big moment of the first dance…
Registry: Please consider clarifying that gift guidance is provided ONLY when requested. NEVER bring up what sort of gift you might like, not even to say you’d rather not have a gift at all. (The reasoning is that gifts are not to be expected or even anticipated. So no matter how much you are 100% certain Jane will be giving a gift, you pretend that the idea has never crossed your mind.)\r \r Dinner: Unless the event is quite short, it is necessary to feed those asked to attend. Suppose the invitation says ceremony at 1:00. Guests start travelling at noon. Then ceremony, perhaps “cocktail hour,” and finally celebration at starts 2:30. By 3:30 these people will be quite hungry and hosts have a duty to assuage that hunger. The service needn’t be formal and the food needn’t be fancy, but it must be a meal, not just a few nibbles. If you want to serve nibbles only, then celebrate immediately after the ceremony and keep it short. Guests’ hunger doesn’t take a Time Out while you run off for a photo shoot.\r \r Booze: Yes and TY! Host are obliged to relieve guests of hunger, of thirst, but not of sobriety. Those who cannot endure time without their intoxicant of choice may perhaps bring a discreet purse or pocket flask. \r \r Grand Entrance: What happened to a receiving line to WELCOME GUESTS to YOUR party? Oh that’s right, you abandoned your own party for something more important to you than your guests! Silly me! IMHPO the whole “Cocktail Hour Then Grand Entrance” thing is rude. Hosts should not leave their own party to keep guests cooling heels for an hour or more and then emphasize the rudeness with an eventual Grand Entrance as is everyone is thrilled to sit and wait for them.
You also didn’t mention that you don’t have to have someone ‘give you away’. As a full fledged tax paying adult, you can give your self to your spouse. It amazes me that so many brides continue to think that a father or brother ‘giving her away’ is based in a time when ‘giving the bride’ to the new husband had to include her coming with gifts. She was part of a barter. Not romantic at all.
I’m not planning to have alcohol OR dancing! Frankly, I come from a family of very budget-conscious (I’m talking 3k to 4k max) brides, and of all my cousin’s/siblings weddings (10/14 of them are married on my Dad’s side), only one of those that I went to had dancing. While I do love dancing, my partner doesn’t, and I would rather hold a dance party some other time than make him uncomfortable the whole night. Also, my partner and I are not that into alcohol, nor is my family, so paying for everyone to have it isn’t our speed either. Considering ditching dinner too and just doing desserts. Is it much of a wedding after that? You can be the judge… but all I really care about is getting married and having my closest family there to see.
We’re planning on skipping toasts at the wedding. No one cares about the inside jokes that they can barely hear because my dad doesn’t know how to hold a microphone. We’ll do toasts at the rehearsal dinner so our close friends and family who still want to say something special get the chance to do so and then we don’t have to interrupt dancing, food, and fun. We’re also not doing alcohol, because neither of us are big drinkers and we both have people in our families who are typically irresponsible with alcohol on a regular basis — that’s not a problem we want to deal with on our wedding day.
I wasted money on an exit outfit. I bought a suit that I wore only because I was supposed to. I stalled as long as I could changing clothes because I didn’t want to get out of my dress. when we arrived at the old hotel where we spent the wedding night I realized how beautiful my dress would look going up the antique staircase. we literally should have had our photos done there but I didn’t even have my dress with me And I never wore that suit again….not even once
I’ve seen quite a few of your articles now and it’s making this seem a little more do-able. Just engaged and will provablt have a long engagement so very early on. One thing that worries me is the dancing. Not just the his&her dance but the whole dancefloor. My partner and I are both kind of shy. He will not dance at all. Whenever I dance, I am usually at the edge of the dance floor and will peace out way before others (unless I am very drunk which I don’t really plan to be). Has anyone been to a mid-day wedding where there was no dance floor? Was it still fun and beautiful?
I’m not doing a bouquet toss or a garter toss. I just was never a fan of it. I am doing a grand exit, but we’re doing a faux exit so our photographer and articlegrapher can leave and then we have 2 hours or so of dancing without cameras in our faces. Also thanks for saying I don’t have to do a grand entrance, I have been considering the possibilities and I think just a simple entrance will be much better.
I made the decision to not have cake because I’m gluten free and a good cake for that is expensive, or we would have to have a weirdly small cake to cut or a layer of the big cake (which means risk of cross contamination or getting the wrong layer altogether). My plan was eh, maybe donuts? And my Mom immediately said she loves cake and there must be cake so she will pay for all the cake for everyone lol. 🤷🏻♀️ so it’s anyone in the family really cares, they have the ability to change that.
when i was 4 i was my aunt’s flower girl. in the weeks leading up to it i was loving the attention. when the day came, i saw the very long aisle and freaked out. i started crying and would not walk down the aisle on my own. my dad carried me as he walked down the aisle, my face was red from crying. i cringe every time i think about it.
In my family, we don’t give the ring bearer the real rings. We give him little fake rings to walk down the isle with. I just don’t see how it’s wise to hand a little boy something so important – cause they can lose the rings. Not a good idea. If you’re gonna have a ring bearer, put fake rings on the pillow. Not real ones.
We’re not doing a tonne of ‘traditional’ things… not hiring a car to drive me and my dad, he has a white car anyway so he’s just driving me. We’re not doing a first dance, we want everyone on the dance floor with us just getting down and partying!! Probably won’t have a cake because I can’t seem to find anywhere that does vegan wedding cake?! Why is this not a thing?! I sure won’t be throwing my bouquet, I may throw a bridesmaids but I’m not 100% sold on it. I’m wearing converse and a fake leather jacket with my new name plastered across the back of it, I’m so excited for our wedding day 🥰🥰🥰
Question: is it still/really a rule that the people you invite to the ceremony have to be invited to the reception? My ceremony won’t cost me anything extra no matter the head count. It’s crucial that i get married in my church but it would seem rude to have the wedding in the church and not invite all the members. I love them all and want them to share in the two becoming one but i wouldn’t feed them all a 100 meal. i tried to check if you had a article on etiquette but didn’t see one.
I HATE REALLY HATE CAKE! So screw cake ppl. I will be doing a Ribbon Cutting of The Desert Table. It will be a Combo Of Sinful Desserts & Pittsburgh Cookie Table complete with Flavored milk & coffee stations. Giant scissors & satin ribbon around the desserts. My Dad died, he is from Pittsburgh. He adored cookies. So hence the world famous cookie table.
“You don’t have to have a pro officiant” – unfortunately, Jamie, in most countries in Europe, there are only a certain few ways you can get legally married, so yes, you do need one (unless you ask you friend to do a fake one, then independently go to sign your marriage in court or other lcoations, where it is possible”). So….
Dude I wish I had NO BRIDAL PARTY!!! Literally everyones opinions ruined the whole experience. I changed things like colors due to their opinions and how they hated the color i chose!!! Annnnd its hard getting them to agree to anything, especially Batchelorette party….the thing is everyone considers it “their vacation” and not “your Batchelorette party” IT TIME TO WAKE UP BRIDES !!!! MOST PEOPLE DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR WEDDING AS MUCH AS YOU DO!!! therefore do whatever you and groom want if you have difficult family or friends exclude them from the beginning, and dont change dooooooont change your mind or do what i wished i begged for an ELOPE
You do kind of have to do a full meal…………………. if it is a full day…….yes feed people otherwise u’ll end up with a load of photos of hungry sad people, no one will dance with an empty stomach. Been to a wedding that did this, they didn’t warn us, they acted as if the buffet was enough …………..for that amount of people no it wasn’t it was gone within 30mins.
Are we allowed to not have dancing? My family aren’t really dancers… I’m just afraid of setting up this time and space for dancing and then nobody wants to? Like, it just turns into this awkward thing where it’s suddenly a middle school dance? But I don’t want people to be bored either, so what do we do instead?
I have a question: In many weddings I’ve attended before, the bride and groom made a huge deal to visit every single guest during the reception and it seemed like it didnt let anyone get to dance or the couple’s didnt seem to enjoy themselves either. Is it okay that I dont make a huge point to greet everyone? I’m gonna have a smallish wedding and I just wanna have fun and not have anxiety because I made myself talk to every person in the room lol
My husband and I did not register- we got cash gifts for our honeymoon etc. We did not have a Bridal Party really either. Well, my sister was the Matron of Honor and her husband was my husband’s Best Man. We also did not have a Bachelor/Bachelorette weekend. We also did not do a bouquet or garter toss. Our guest count was 70-80 people. Also, an officiant is said Oh-fish-e-ant. 🙂
You skipped the part about the bride being escorted down the aisle. Why are you people so afraid to admit the most sexist part of the wedding . Why didn’t you say that a bride should nit feel that she has to lesve her mom out of the walk anf let her dad be the only one to walk her……..as if he is her only parent.