In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, the marriage between Elizabeth and Darcy is considered exemplary due to their combination of romance and reason. Elizabeth is unaware of any new proposal from Darcy, but her pride in herself and love for him make her feel attracted to him. Darcy marries Elizabeth because of her merits and affection for her, rather than to advance his career or economic situation like Mr. Collins did.
In Austen’s time, it would be awkward and often inappropriate for an unmarried man to marry. However, Darcy’s ability to attract a woman into marriage is more important than his wealth and social position. Elizabeth falls in love with Darcy despite his wealth, but she is not attracted to him because of it.
Both Collins and Darcy’s proposals are extremely condescending to Elizabeth, but they both give the impression that they would like to marry her despite the considerable drawbacks. The main draw of Darcy is not that he is wealthy, British, or even somewhat mean, but because he alters himself for love, women adore him. Elizabeth also starts out with a negative first impression of Mr. Darcy, but it takes her a little longer to change her mind.
The marriage between Darcy and Elizabeth is based on love, not necessarily need, as many women marry people they have to. Darcy’s parents had not arranged any marriage for him, and his substantial estates and income made him a prize.
In conclusion, the marriage between Darcy and Elizabeth is a testament to the power of love and reason in adversity.
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Did Darcy really love Elizabeth?
Even Wikipedias article for Austens Pride and Prejudice implies that Elizabeth and Darcy have long been in love with one another without realizing it: “The course of Elizabeth and Darcys relationship is ultimately decided when Darcy overcomes his pride, and Elizabeth overcomes her prejudice, leading to them both …
Why do girls like Mr. Darcy?
2. His brooding is a sign of power. Darcy is more like a cold fish than a hot prospect in the eyes of Elizabeth Bennett when they first meet him, yet other women see a great catch. Hes an enduring object of female desire because of his personality, too, says Welch. At the beginning of the novel, Darcy is brooding, taciturn, and difficult to please. Research shows that women tend to think such men are the best providers.
3. Hes all in. Darcy may appear the classic unavailable man, but we come to know that he is love sick with his desire for Elizabeth. He is the tortured soul, who longs for the heroine… even though he does not want to, says Silke Jahn, Founder and Editor of Romance & Smut, an online literary hub for romance novels. But once he makes his mind up, he is all in and pursues the relationship with focus. In this way he really is not all that different at all from modern romantic heroes.
4. He risks it all for the woman he loves. Darcy is a rich young guy with power living in an era where status and conventions hold a lot of weight. A man with resources who wont commit his heart to the heroine is no good at all, says Welch. But Darcy is focused solely on Elizabeth. He could have any woman he wanted, being the universally sought hottie he is. But in womens fantasies, and in Austens romance novel(s), the heroine is special, singular, worthy of his wholly focused pursuit.
Who is the handsomest woman according to Mr. Darcy?
The next day, the Gardiners and Elizabeth go to Pemberley at Darcys and Miss Darcys invitation. Mr. Gardiner goes fishing with the men while Mrs. and Gardiner and Elizabeth join Georgiana, Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst, and Georgianas companion at the house. Although Miss Bingley treats Elizabeth coldly, Elizabeth attributes her behavior to jealousy. When Darcy returns from fishing, his behavior shows that he is clearly attracted to Elizabeth. Miss Bingley attempts to allude to Elizabeths former attachment to Wickham and to make her look foolish by bringing up her sisters attachment to the regiment in Meryton, but Elizabeths calm response makes Miss Bingley look ill-natured instead. After Elizabeth and the Gardiners leave, Miss Bingley tries again to demean Elizabeth, this time by criticizing her appearance. She is deflated, however, by Darcys remark that Elizabeth is one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance.
Elizabeth soon receives two letters from Jane that shatter any hopes she has of further exploring her relationship with Darcy. In the letters, Jane tells her that Lydia has run away with Wickham from Brighton and that they probably have not gotten married. They were spotted headed toward London, so Mr. Bennet is going there to search for them and Jane asks that Mr. Gardiner join Mr. Bennet in London to assist in the search.
Dismayed by the news, Elizabeth rushes to get her uncle, but is met there by Darcy. Troubled by Elizabeths agitation, Darcy sends for her uncle and stays with her to try to calm her down. Overcome by what she has learned, Elizabeth begins to cry and tells Darcy what has happened. He expresses concern and worries that his own silence regarding Wickham is, in part, responsible for the present situation. Thinking he is only in the way, Darcy leaves. Elizabeth realizes that she loves him, but fears that the family scandal will ruin her chances of his wanting her for a wife. The Gardiners soon arrive, and they and Elizabeth leave immediately for Longbourn.
What is so attractive about Mr. Darcy?
The 18th century was a time of politeness. People were very polite and refined. This led to a situation where English life became fragile and dainty. No other age in England has been like this. People lost their natural dignity to a kind of fancy politeness. People started acting like toys, and the delicate sensibility went too far. Those who were suffering from the cult of sensibility had almost entirely lost their manliness and ability to survive. In the 18th-century idea, a man was expected to be pleasant and pleasing. It was better for a man to lie than to offend. In the early 19th century, a tougher, more brooding version of masculinity was starting to come into vogue. The character of Mr. Darcy exemplifies this trend. Nicolson described the differences between Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy as follows: Mr. Bingley is an 18th-century man: handsome, young, agreeable, delightful, fond of dancing, gentlemanlike, pleasant, easy, unaffected, and not in control of his own destiny. Darcy is tall, handsome, noble, proud, and disagreeable. He is not controlled by anyone. Darcy is a 19th-century man, a man’s man, uncompromising, dark, and sexy. The novel ends with Darcy. Mr. Darcy reflects changing standards of English masculinity. Unlike 18th-century heroes, he says what he thinks. This shows his authenticity and honesty. These were important for men in the new Romantic age. Darcy apologizes to Miss Bennet for being rude. He means it, not just to please her. Mr. Darcy showed a new type of masculinity that could not tolerate the previous century’s superficial values. Nicolson called Darcy the model for Victorian manliness. The novel suggests that politeness is not enough. Darcy is silent, grave, and indifferent. In this new moral universe, words signal pure approval. At one point, Darcy says he never pretends to be anything other than what he is. When Miss Bingley lists all the attributes of an accomplished woman, Darcy says she must improve her mind by reading. He wants more from a woman than what Miss Bingley thinks is necessary. Nicolson said that a character like Mr. Darcy reflects changes in British life. In the Romantic age, what mattered was authentic, self-generated worth. The novel says that Elizabeth was unaware of this. She saw Darcy as the man who made himself agreeable and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with. Darcy is attracted to Elizabeth early on, but thinks she’s not good enough for him socially. However, he decides to marry her anyway, which makes him a Romantic hero.After Darcy overcomes his prejudice against marrying Elizabeth, Bernard Paris wrote that Darcy becomes the most romantic figure in the book. He upholds traditional British values while using his power to serve order and desire. Darcy is equally opposed to Wickham’s anarchistic tendencies and Lady Catherine’s tyranny. The scholar Alison Sulloway said that Darcy doesn’t like polite society. He prefers to be outdoors or at Pemberley. Darcy’s heroic stance is shown by the way he pursues Elizabeth despite her rejection of his first offer of marriage. Darcy is sometimes clumsy at expressing his love for Elizabeth, but he speaks his mind. Wickham is the opposite. Josephine Ross said that the image of Darcy as asexual reflects our standards, not those of the Romantic era. When Elizabeth says Wickham seduced her sister Lydia, Darcy is silent. He wants to touch Elizabeth, but he doesn’t because that’s not proper for a gentleman. Ross wrote, “If he’d taken her in his arms and kissed her, the scene would’ve been more thrilling.”
What is Darcy’s concept of what a wife should be?
“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.”
“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”
“I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any.”
Did Darcy and Elizabeth have a happy marriage?
The greater good is a concept that people all over the world incorporate in their everyday lives and use as a predominant end goal in literary works. One theme that is evident in Jane AustensPride and Prejudiceis the concept of conforming to societal standards. The societal standards that are set and most commonly seen in Jane Austens literary works are the standards society at that time has set for marriage. These standards include marring for a rise in social status and as a way of survival because it was a pre-established notion that woman were required to marry so as not to be a burden to their family. InPride and PrejudiceAusten has several different characters make decisions that do not follow the standards that have been set by society. In this regard we believe that Austen has set a foundation that perhaps defying conformity is something that leads to the greater good. Throughout Pride and Prejudice Austen gives several examples of marriages that had followed the standards set by society but were not successful. A few examples of these unhappy marriages are Mr. and Mrs. Bennet and Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins, both of these marriages were made because of the pressing need by society and in both of these marriages the couples are unhappy with how their marriages have turned out. However, on the case of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, Austen makes it very clear at the end of the novel that the marriage is going well and the two are extremely happy. This marriage between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy was formed out of love and defied the standards that society had placed on them. Perhaps Austens notion that societal standards contradict the greater good is what people should take from Austen, not the romanticized ideas of marriage and proposals that usually are taken fromPride and Prejudice.
In deciding which scenes ofPride and Prejudiceto adapt we took into consideration who our target audience would be and what we wanted to gain from this adaptation. We decided that our main audience would be children ages five to eight. In choosing this age group we are hoping to bring in a younger generation of Janeites and promote the book by having parents read it to younger children. Children are very insightful and pick up a lot of what is going on around them more then what their parents or teachers assume most of the time. Because children five to eight are so incredibly smart and are able to grasp more complicated concepts we rewrote these two scenes in a way that portrayed important concepts and ideas without watering it down. To help with the understanding of the more complicated themes and ideas in the book we are adding and education aspect to the book. Inserted in the back of the novel is a glossary where complicated words and ideas will be defined and explained to help with the childs comprehension. In choosing the two scenes of Darcys proposals we wanted to focus on the theme of marriage and trying to focus on the moral of choosing to love someone because of their character not how popular they are or how much money they make. In this we hope to inspire that getting to know a person, finding their true character, and marring someone because you love them and they make you happy is much more important than how much money they make or what their social status is…..
A long time ago, a man and woman met on a special night. There was a new suitor in town and all the women wanted to be his wife. At a fancy ball that was being held in town, Mr. Darcy met a young woman whose name was Elizabeth. As these two met, the thought of something special crossed Mr. Darcys mind, but never crossed Elizabeths.
What is Mr. Darcy’s view of marriage?
The middle ground view which is favored by Austen is the idea of marrying for love and happiness not impulse or logic. Darcy, Elizabeth, and Jane represent the middle ground. Jane believes in true love, she falls in love with Mr. Bingley and waits several weeks before becoming engaged to him. She falls in love with his personality and character. She doesnt jump into marriage right after she meets him. “” I am certainly the most fortunate creature that ever existed! cried Jane. “”Oh! Lizzy, why am I thus singled from my family, and blessed above them all! If i could but see you as happy! If there were such another man for you( Austen, chapter 55)””. This shows her love and happiness she finds in Bingley. Not just based on impulsion and lust but true love. Darcy and Elizabeth both represent middle ground with how their whole love story unfolds. Darcy is very arrogant and believes that marriage should benefit each of them. While Elizabeth will only marry for love. Darcy believes in true love and will only marry for it as well. “”3. “”In vain have I struggled.
It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”” Elizabeths astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her, immediately followed. He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed, and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride. His sense of her inferiority””of its being a degradation””of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit( Austen, chapter 36)””. This is the marriage proposal from Darcy. This shows not only his love for Elizabeth but his respect for her and his thoughtfulness. Austen shows that true love is the reason for marriage.
Was Mr. Darcy romantic?
Everyone knows that Mr. Darcy from Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” is the perfect romantic hero. He speaks in romantic ways, saves our heroines’ families, and is a man who can admit when he’s wrong.
What is the theme of love and marriage in Pride and Prejudice?
Love and marriage are bad for her. Love is found in being compatible. Jane and Bingley are kind, and Elizabeth and Darcy are strong-willed but kind and intelligent.
What is the attitude towards marriage in Pride and Prejudice?
In Pride and Prejudice, she writes about marriage in the Victorian era. She shows different types of marriages and why people get married. In this novel, she encourages women to marry for love, not money or interests.
📹 How Not To Marry Mr Wickham | Scoundrels & Constructing Reality in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice
How can you tell if someone is secretly a scoundrel? Well in this video, we analyze Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice to learn …
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I wonder if that’s why Austen resonates with young women at that point of life where they are finding out about themselves and others (and their motives). It’s all a part of growing up: who do we trust? How well do we know ourselves? It’s so interesting comparing reading Austen as a 20 year old and reading Austen now at 50…
I got married to a scandalous person who divorced me because I stopped allowing him to misuse my money…I have two kids..and believe me it was a horrible experience..I was deceived by his appearance and I was so open to him that he knew my faults. Also, I didn’t give myself enough time to well judge his character….Thanks a lot for this amazing article 🌷
This is great content!!!!!! I almost married a Wickham 2y ago. It took me 6months to see what grave mistake I was heading for and end the engagement. He played my weakness (loneliness, bad mental health and pride) and I was only looking at the things I wanted to see in him. Time was crucial! He showed his true colors and I finally confronted my own blindness. Now I’m in a journey to forgive myself for my stupidity! (And I’m in better place regarding my mental health)
I think you just did more in 25 minutes to help me get over my ex boyfriend than years of therapy have. And I think I owe all my friends (the ones I should have been listening to) an apology. 🤣 He is one of Austen’s charming scoundrels. How did I never see this in the three years together and the year and a half since we broke up?!? I need to not talk to him. (Duh! 🤦♀️)
A good way to ascertain Wickam’s true character is to ask him. As long as you’re not a threat to his designs he will freely admit that he has no morals. It depends on the setting how forthright Wickam will be. I’ve come across sociopaths here and there. Most of them freely admit that they take advantage people. Personally, if someone tells me they have no morals I believe them, and I watch out for them.
Some things never change. I’m dating right now and it’s a nightmare. I’d say that by now, I have fairly well working ‘bullshit detectors’, but they’re rather the result of lots of trial and error. To imagine, that one misstep, one case of trusting the wrong guy too early could ruin my whole life, rather then being just a disappointing experience…makes me grateful, I live when and where I live.
This is all great advice. 3 reminded me of a job I once had. The time came for my 100 day review and someone told me that when I first started nobody thought I’d last because I didn’t talk much (they had $20.00 on two weeks BTW). I told her it was because I was listening, people will show themselves if you just let them talk enough, and that’s how I knew who I could trust and who to keep an eye on. She looked at me like wowed.
One of the best pieces of advice in this, that I will definitely echo, is take your time. If they are truly in love with you they will be fine going at a slower pace. Nobody can hide their true character forever so, ladies, take your time! I was with my boyfriend for 6 years before we got married and had kids! It was worth the wait to get a genuine person.
This article is such a good example of how media analysis and understanding the themes of a piece of fiction can teach you something irl. As someone who always feels kind of naive and over-trusting in new social situations, I actually learned a lot from this article about how to better judge ppl’s character. There’s something really… freeing, maybe? About the distance that analyzing literature gives you, while also feeling true to life. Like, it feels a little silly saying that I learned a few new things about social interactions from a Jane Austen analysis, but it’s also safer than living through making the mistakes myself. Which makes it feel less silly.
Jane Austin and Leo Tolstoy both helped me to avoid charming scoundrels and to arrive in a happy, stable marriage. It was interesting perusal the scoundrels’ characters being illuminated over time and seeing the traces of the bullets that I had dodged from not getting involved with such people, both male romantic partners and potential female false friends. It has been grieving to note the trail of destruction that several of these people left in their wakes, but I’m grateful that I was not caught in the direct path of their negative choices.
This is a fascinating article! I’ve been studying narcissism and narcissistic abuse and I I’m intrigued by the idea of not being able to recognize someone’s deceit because of lack of experience. If you’re an honest person and you were sheltered from dishonest people, one’s own honesty will make it almost impossible to believe someone could be dishonest.
I think one of the reasons that Anne knows the value of investing time is that unlike all of our other point-of-view characters, she’s already had a good amount of it. She’s had a decade or so (assuming she came out ~16-18 as most girls did) of living in the world as an adult and observing people. Her social circle isn’t especially large so she’s probably made a lot of observations of the same people over a stretch of multiple years. And as an internally focused character she’s probably done a lot of contemplation about how people do and don’t change and the nuances of different kinds of characters.
There was this one guy I liked in my class. We were friendly with each other but weren’t in the same friend group, so we never spend that much time together. When I talked to the girls in that friend group about him, they said that he wants to appear as a nice and caring guy, but in many instances he didn’t do what he promised to do or he wasn’t sincere and kept his life very private, even tho they were friends for 3-4 years. I didn’t take these seriously, as I was blinded by my feelings for him, but I should have known better. I should have trusted the people who knew him for a longer time. They were my friends too and I knew them longer than him. They were honest and didn’t want to hurt me nor him. One day, I was talking to him about my life and such and I expected him to do the same. I believed that he would be as open as I am. The next day, I discovered that he has a girlfriend, whom he didn’t mention at all the day before. I was shocked and angry at him for not telling me such a big change in his life. I thought we were friends, and friends share these things with each other, don’t they? Now, that I am older, I got to realise that not all people in my life are the same as me, and that I should be more picky with who I open my heart to.
I’m not sure that Mr Collins really does think that Charlotte is his perfect partner. Mr Collins knows what he ought to feel about Charlotte, Lizzie (when he proposes to her), Lady Catherine, Rosings and its expensive windows, Lydia going of with Wickham, and everybody and everything. He has probably learnt this knowledge out of books. He does not, however, appear to have any genuine feelings at all. Even rendering Charlotte pregnant is, perhaps, only what he considered he ought to do.
I know Mr. Collins is annoying and stuff, but he does get bashed a lot for no reason. Unlike Wickham or other scoundrels, Collins isn’t able to lie or hide his feelings. He’s overall a shallow kind of person, who respects wealth and “stuff”, but that doesn’t necessarily make him a BAD person. Since Charlotte was so desperate as to approve of his proposal, I do have a hope in my “this is how things turn out in the future” scenario that she and Mr. Collins learned to be happy together, instead of her trying to avoid him all the time. I know Charlotte is working to “improve” his worse impulses, like declaring every random and potentially unflattering thought in his head out loud. So, it’s my hope that she’s successful one day and he gets less annoying and she learns to appreciate that he’s really not that bad of a person. But still, better her than me. I wouldn’t want to marry Mr. Collins. I’d rather be an old maid. haha
I read Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield for the first time as a teen and was horrified by Uriah Heep, and for many years he epitomized the classic villain in my mind. My mother read David Copperfield on my recommendation when she was in her mid to late forties. She was horrified by Steerforth and ranted about him at length when we discussed it afterwards. I didn’t understand her reaction. I mean, Steerforth made bad choices and hurt people, but surely it was nothing more than youthful indiscretion. I recently reread David Copperfield after not having done so for many years. I would like to say that I get it now that I’m… more mature. Steerforth was all of the things you described in this article, and more. He used people for his own gratification and then flung them aside when he’d gotten all he could out of them. Truly a charming and unprincipled rake. Thank you for the article. I quite enjoyed it.
I watched this over a year ago and I still think it’s one of the best things (video/audio) posted to any social media ever and deserves some kind of gold statue for it. It clearly explains one Austen’s chief geniuses and why it is as relevant today as it was then. And simply, it provides an invaluable life-lesson to all young (and old) people — that and Austen’s other invaluable life-lesson: invest, invest, invest. It is ALSO one of the best lay introductions to EPISTEMOLOGY that probably exists, period. This article was genuine genius. (I miss this kind of content here.)
Can you do a few articles on Sense and Sensibility? I feel like everyone is always hype on Pride and Prejudice and the other fun, popular reads, I hardly see any commentary articles on Sense and Sensibility and it’s such a good book! I think it’s more on human nature with less comedy but it’s still great! Please do some articles on it!
Ellie this is an excellent analysis of application from classic literature! This is one reason why people need to read classics like Austin. Imagine if they taught this in schools with this depth? It could save so many from ruining their lives. This made me examine myself and realize some changes I need to make. Thanks!
This got me thinking about Fanny Price, and the Dashwood sisters. What are their distorted views of the world? Marianne’s is obviously related to excessive sensibility and an overly romantic view of the world that doesn’t account for loving more than one person. Fanny’s stems from a lack of self-confidence and that – as JA herself suggested – would’ve led to eventually marrying HC and being miserable. Elinor… is harder to pinpoint. In some ways she’s both too sensible and also not observant enough. Curious to know your opinion, Ellie.
Being a man who is normally too cautious when it comes to heart matters you would think that I might escape similar mistakes, however for a long time I was a bit of a sucker for women who were overly emotionally needy. Since I’ve become aware of that tendency I’ve successfully avoided being lured in by any more similar women so far. Great article again, Eliie! You deserve all your success because you’re awesome!
Your articles and examinations have helped me realize why I just love Jane Austen’s writing. Her characters are so diverse of personality and experiences and so real. She understood how people are and through this wrote how to look and view the world around us. Her main characters aren’t one dimensional or “heroines” but they’re real, in that they too struggle through things and have to learn…and recognize that as humans we need to continue to do so. Thank you for your articles!! Additionally just adore your necklace and makeup 🙂
This is awesome! I want to use all of these points in my everyday life (not just at the balls), but I especially loved your first point!! But that has got me thinking, it seems like the main characters who go through drastic character growth are the heroines or Mr. Darcy. Could this be one of the reasons we all love him so much… that he mans up to his faults and listens to Lizzy?
Here is the paradox involving love and reality/appearance: Would Mr. Darcy have known that Elizabeth really loved him if she had been more truthful with her sisters? When Elizabeth reveals that she did not tell her sisters about Mr. Wickham, what could Mr. Darcy have gleaned from the act of concealing the unhappy truth? That in exposing Mr. Wickham she would have also exposed Mr. Darcy to the world’s derision? In which case, is the truth (their love) predicated on a lie, meaning the appearance that nothing “entertaining” happened at Kent? There’s also this through line in the novel that the truth can only be known indirectly (through appearances). For example, think about how Elizabeth knows that the rumor of her engagement to Darcy exits. It must exist because Lady Catherine went through all the trouble to come see her. Likewise, think about how Lady Catherine seeks out the truth behind the rumor that Elizabeth is engaged to Darcy. She visits Elizabeth and NOT Darcy because (as she claims rather ironically) she does not wish to injure him with lies. It is ironic because Elizabeth does the opposite: she protects Darcy by not being truthful with her sisters.
This article is fantastic, you are amazing at literary analysis! This is the first article I have seen from you and I am subscribing now! The points you make about marriage and life I had never really thought about before and I feel like I understand myself and life more from having watched this. Definitely self reflection, deciding who to trust, and giving yourself time are three important things to consider before making any big decisions. Thanks for educating me! Please keep making articles!
It’s interesting to me that in her last novel Persuasion she passed the lack of perceptiveness off onto Lady Russell – while Anne Elliott reserved her own judgement – just ‘knowing’ something was up but not entirely sure what. And to answer your last question – nope! I feel sometimes I read Austen to gain a backbone – or to at least try to ferret out some sense of self which would allow me not to give over my entire self on meeting people – which isn’t anything the other person asked for but my goodness am I happy to give. Austen’s works contain so many examples of her main characters being polite but not giving themselves entirely – I think of it as being self-contained – thoughtful and mindful. I have the habit of being such a ‘please like me’ person that I seem to lose myself a little bit in social interactions – but that could also be part of being an incurably chatty Libran 😊
YOU are awesome, and as Mr. Darcy asks; I hope (you and) your family are in good health. I connect more with Anne Elliot because she takes time for evaluation – that was an excellent point. I also think that because she suffered long-term from not listening to her heart regarding Captain Wentworth, she is careful in deciding things for herself.
A great perspective that I had never thought of! An example that came to mind was the “glowing review” Darcy’s housekeeper gave of him, which seemed in total opposition to Elizabeth’s (original) prejudices. Maybe I remember wrong, but I think afterwards she was discussing with her uncle and aunt this account of him and it seemed to them that she was a trustworthy source. I’m saying this in relation to step 2, of course.
Among modern romance fiction, stories that take place in Jane Austen’s time tend to be very formulaic: guy with a title, adorable young woman, one of them is rich and the other is broke, they fall passionately in love, yadda yadda yadda, eventually they’re happily, blissfully, married, The End. But Austen was living in the middle of what these much-later writers romanticize, and many of the marriages in her books range from barely tolerable to just horrible. Her main characters tended to end up with the men they loved, but her books usually end with their engagements or weddings. In contrast, Lydia is saddled with Wickham, Mr. Elton marries a rich shrew, Mr. Bennett is married to a dumbbell, etc. Possibly Austen’s view of marriage (cynical, or simply clear-eyed?) was a major factor in her never having gone in for it herself.
I seem to have fairly good scoundrel avoidance score. Mostly. However, I’ve noticed that when depressed or under distress, you cannot necessarily trust your detectors, they may operate poorly – and even more so the process of detecting who’s a good match for you. This is at least partly because of having greater need for someone special. Also depression may skew your ability to perceive things and self-reflect.
I actually feel a bit better knowing that fictional characters were as stupid as I was. I befriended my now stalker a few years ago… I now very much wish I would have been careful and confident enough to trust my observations early and get away from her in time. But some lessons are unfortunately learned the hard way. I still feel guilty if I give myself time to get to know people. I feel guilty if I don’t like people who seem to like me. It’s a process. To all the other people in their twenties and beyond (and before) who are in the same process of figuring out who to trust – I feel you, it’s not easy, doesn’t feel nice – you’re not alone and you’re not guilty because you got tricked – the person who tricked you is.❤
Stage 2, “knowing who to trust,” can only come into play if there is a person in your environment who communicates the message “do not fall for this person,” because without such a third person, there is no conflict of opinion to choose from, no opportunity to place trust elsewhere than in the manipulator. Thus the opportunity to use stage 2 depends on factors outside one’s own abilities, namely, the happenstance of there being a person who has either a backstory with the manipulator, or an unbiased judgment of the manipulator, who is also part of your current circle of acquaintances. In Mansfield Park, Fanny could be an alternative source of trust for Edmund to rely on about Mary Crawford, but Fanny never speaks to him about Mary. I suspect she was wise in this, because Edmund had not yet learned to respect Fanny enough to rely on her opinion, and would have rejected her observations. In Pride & Prejudice, Mr. Bingley was an alternative source of trust about Wickham, and Jane has the wisdom to recognize this, but Elizabeth, having been offended by Darcy and looking for reasons to dislike him, rejects this. Elizabeth’s rejection is made somewhat reasonable because Bingley does not know the details of Wickham’s misconduct towards both Darcy and his sister, and thus, does not have much of substance to cite. In Emma, Mr. Knightley was an alternative source of trust about Churchill, and about Elton, and about Harriet Smith herself, and he has solid substance for his opinion on all three, but Emma rejects him on all three persons, mostly because it would discredit her own imaginings about them.
Jane Austen called that particular story Love and Freindship, NOT Love and Friendship (the name Whit Stillman gave the movie adaptation he made based on the novella that had long been known as Lady Susan. That probably doesn’t do much to diferentiate, but it’s a technicality that became a little bit more important because of his choice of title for his adaptation.)
I’d like to point out that it’s not just Mary Crawford Edmund projects better qualities onto because he wants to believe the best of her, he does the same thing with his aunt Norris, believing she would be kind to Fanny if Fanny went to live with her despite literally all evidence being to the contrary. I think Edmund was just such a good natured person he didn’t really see how cruel the people around him were capable of being.
It’s interesting, I think, the Anne Elliot is one of Austen’s only characters to give herself time, and is also one of Austen’s oldest heroines. She had 8 yrs to rue the persuasion of her old friend and neighbor, Lady Russell, and was pretty much “on the shelf.” With age comes wisdom … at least to some.
this article inspired me to include a couple in my story where the man is thought to be a scoundrel, but hes actually quite sweet, and the woman is quite naive. Everyone warns her to stay away from him, but after situations force them to get to know each other, she learns that everyone is prejudiced against him (I’m imagining he has an older brother who genuinely is a scoundrel and because his brother helped raise him everyone assumes he’ll be the same. His apparent coldness comes from distrusting people because they often gossip about him, and perhaps spread rumours about him acting inappropriately when the situation was beyond his control) I’d obviously need to develop them both more, but i like the idea
this article has shown me what I was blinded to see in pride and prejudice! I did not realize the book was this deep because of preconceived thoughts from seeing the movie first and not liking it(I still think it’s a light fun book, and I’m not too captivated by the storytelling/plot but it’s cool to know the insights). I love the idea of reality vs appearance and how she uses words to differentiate the two.
Some of the best life advice ever.—Worthwhile conversation.❤️ I understand much more clearly why Anne Elliot has been my favorite Jane Austen heroine, but I am ashamed to say I have lived my life to this point much more like a Catherine Morland. …Hmmm, maybe that’s why Northanger Abbey was always my least favorite of Austen’s books…🙃 No time like the present to self-reflect and choose to be different!
what’s interesting about lizzie and darcy is, lizzie’s prejudice springs from pride — her injured pride when darcy calls her tolerable and won’t dance with her makes her prejudiced against him (and partial to anyone who criticises him, which leaves her vulnerable to wickham’s manipulations). And darcy’s pride springs from his prejudice (he assumes nobody at the assembly is worthy to stand up with, because of their station, and so comes off as / is proud; later on he proves he has fixed this flaw in his thinking by being nice to the gardners).
You know, the very first time I was introduced to this story i thought it really weird that making Wickham marry her was held up as the desired solution – I thought it couldn’t possibly have been good for the poor girl in the long term! But mum and dad explained that’s just what they did back then. I suppose your question invites the response: “It’s necessary to improve the whole state of society and the public’s way of thinking. Improve the entire ZeitGeist.”
What a great review. There’s a reason why Jane Austen remains as popular as ever. Just like a great joke is funny because it’s true. A great story remains great when it remains true and relevant regardless of the time you live in. The time period is irrelevant it’s the observations she had on human nature that we can all identify with and learn from. #janeausten4life!
I could not have married a scoundrel because my parents were very observant and protective. They could spot someone who was not on the level. And I would never have married anyone they didn’t like. It’s an old-fashioned view, but there is value in having parents who love you on. your side. My parents successfully weeded out more than one creep during my most vulnerable years.
I think this is part of the reason why Fanny is not an interesting main character. In the book, she is the only character who always knows who people really are. It’s not her view of reality that changes, it’s just that other characters learn to recognize that their view is incorrect and that hers was always correct. She immediately saw through the Crawfords and was not so in love with Edmund to not recognize that he was ignoring his own principles because he was blinded by his attraction to Mary Crawford. The only person you can say she was even partially deceived in was Sir Thomas, as she maybe underestimates his ability to be good. However, he is one of the few characters in that book who legitimately changes, so really she saw him as he was at the beginning and then he learned from his mistakes and recognized that she had been right all along.
Hey Ellie, I’ve only just recently discovered your website and I’m binging all your knowledge but I’m just wondering– is western history all you specialize in? That’s completely wonderful, of course, but I am curious if you have any knowledge on Eastern culture– such as Chinese, Korean and Japanese royalty throughout these eras you usually cover. And whether or how Eastern royalty dealt with western royalty (I want to write a romance story about something like this). Just another topic I’d be interested in, if you have any knowledge on it. If not I understand. Thank you for your fun and informative articles!
Excellent song choice at the end, Ellie! I fully expected my life to be a chick flick when I was younger. That worldview coupled with my undying propensity toward instant gratification led me to “fall in love” many a time within a fortnight lol. But luckily the man who did eventually catch my forever fancy, haha, is the absolute opposite of a rusher. So I had no choice cuz he constantly pumped the brakes for me. 😂😂😂 Very thankful to have my equal opposite in life!!!
How long was considered normal to marry after meeting in Regency times? If a both feel a mutual attraction, would a courtship request in a month or so occur if you still fancied each other? How long was courtship? Engagements in Austen’s stories are 1 or 2 month, (unless they’re secret). Would it be bad for your reputation to break up while courting?
Anne Elliot also have a thought about trusting others advice and prejudice. She knew that without Ms. Smith’s story, her godmother would have been supportive of Mr. Elliot’s character. Also, people do not like Fanny a lot, but she is a great observer of people around her and can read carefully everything and decide be herself, despite the fact that she is shy.
i’m interested to know how you think the film love & friiendship gets it wrong. i liked both the film and the book (lady susan) and found the film (and the book) to be pretty good at showing that even while carefully observing the actions of others, assigning motives to those actions is hopelessly biased by one’s own prejudices. the book also gives us one of my fav austen quotes (very apropos to this article)– “but where there is a disposition to dislike, a motive will never be wanting;”
Dear loveliest Ellie. You extol the concept of not imprinting yet you further your fashion line. We can see characteristics in others and wish to renconcile them in ourselves. Does Elizabeth come to understand a form of sophistication that country life did not offer and there she found her own understanding and lavk in Darcy’s manner. Which made the greatest acvommodation?
A couple of oddities in this scheme — Charlotte and Lizzie. Early on when Charlotte is advocating that Jane ‘secure’ Bingley she’s pretty much saying his character doesn’t matter and that it doesn’t help to take lots of time to learn someone’s character. Lizzie counters that Jane shouldn’t jump ahead ‘before she is sure of his character.’ So Lizzie is the one to express caution in that instance. Later Charlotte of course does go quickly to move on Mr. Collins, in fact as soon as Lizzie dumps him. Charlotte knows almost nothing of Mr. Collins, and while she is not exactly self-deceptive she may be deceptive about Collins’ character since she basically does not know him. Just an example IMO of them flipping this script a bit – Charlotte not bring cautious (even though it’s not for a romantic reason) and Lizzie being moreso. Lizzie shows the more measured thinking, both regarding Mr. Collins and regarding Jane’s relations with Bingley. Lizzie has some complexity, as we know.
I had this article pop up as a next to watch. I am NOT a fan of Jane Austen, and couldn’t get into Pride and Prejudice. My knowledge of Austen comes from PBS Digital “Lizzie Bennet Diaries” and “Emma Approved” which I really enjoyed, but MIGHT be a bit heretical here. That being said, I love the way you break down all the character elements, and your analysis is very sharp. Maybe a few more articles of yours MIGHT convince me to try Austen again. She is the big missing piece of my Victorian literature experience.
I think it’s interesting and very realistic that the younger Austen heroines are usually more naive, or easily manipulated, and the older the protagonist is, the wiser they get. For example, Anne was already suspicious of Mr. Elliot even before Miss Smith lays out his true character. Had Catherine Morland been in her position she would easily have fallen for Mr. Elliot’s charm.
It’s so interesting that in today’s world, we meet so many “Mr Wickhams” who present themselves as charming and appealing, but are really lying assholes. Sadly, Mr Wickham has been around in one form or another for many hundreds of years. It’s even more awful when the innocent “Elizabeth Bennet” is actually told about his misdeeds and attitudes and behaviours, but continues to believe in him anyway… One of my former friends is a perfect example of what if Elizabeth got involved with Mr Wickham, and then got the letter from Darcy, but chose to ignore it and instead said “oh but he’s changed”. Her particular world view is distorted because she has had a rather innocent upbringing – somewhat sheltered. She easily believes this guy, and he’s playing on her insecurities by showing interest in her, which really she’s never experienced before. She is blinded to the fact that he hasn’t changed his behaviour, nor has he acknowledged it or apologised for it. She trusts him, rather than her friends’ assessments of him and (true) stories about his behaviour. For reasons of that sort, we are not friends any more!
In David Copperfield, Charles Dickens calls the reason why someone would marry a person who is unable or not willing to lead a good marriage, ‘my undisciplined heart’. He uses this expression when writing about the relationship and marriage of David with Dora Spenlow, a pretty but stupid and childish girl, who he marries because he is smitten with her attractive looks. Luckily, she soon dies and finally, he is able to marry Agnes Wickfield, his soulmate, a psychologically mature, strong and courageous woman.
16:33 wow i didn’t know that. i think it means that austen was interested in appearance and manipulation, and perhaps experimented with imagining how it might be to be a manipulator – but i guess her situation and maybe also her personal choices led her to explore the perspectives of the deceived instead.
Taking one’s time is key! That way you can both look within and introspect about your own pre-conceived notions and desires, as well as consult with those you trust. Uggh if every Willoughby and Wickham wasn’t a master manipulator. Mr Crawford with all his narcissistic love-bombing and Mr Elliott with his pretentions and ill-willing charm. Ughh. But truly, self-blinding thoughts can lead one into messy situations. Anne Elliott was one self-aware character that did not let herself be completely swept away by Mr Elliot’s false charms. Even Fanny resisted Crawford but then she was overpowered because of her youth. A fair bit of scepticism towards “charming” people should be a must?
I find this idea, that you could know anyone accurately in Regency society, to be totally unbelievable. This article is interesting in that it presents completely logical things about building relationships, but those things only work in a society where people are actually authentic. Everything about Regency society and its rigid social structure is so completely artificial that I can’t fathom how one person ever knew another. Even the friendships they made were based on obligation to class rules and preserving or elevating one’s status. This gives the impression that nobody was friends with anybody else because they actually liked each other any more than who you chose to invite for dinner (or whose invitations you accepted) had anything to do with liking. The same dilemma presents itself in courtship. If couples were never allowed to be alone with each other or have any experiences of one another outside of the many artifices set up by their social rules and regulations, how could they have any idea who they were dealing with? Even this article talks about how much time they all spent pretending. Not wanting to appear uninterested or upset, for example. The entire society was a pretense. How does anyone have authentic relationships inside of that context? @Ellie Dashwood, it would be interesting to have a article exploring “what is authenticity” in the Regency era.
Something I’ve always wondered about. If Wickham had run off with some other woman that wasn’t connected to the Bennet family…would Mr. Darcy still feel so responsible for the girl? Would he have found them and forced the marriage? My overall thought is yes but he probably wouldn’t have spent 10k…he did that so he’d be able to marry Lizzie if she ever changed her feelings for him. But he does feel responsible for Wickham in general independent of that I think
Great subject ! Can we really ever know someone..? Intuition versus Reason… Both using observation. And both misleading… P&P is the best illustration of how intuition is misleading. How the first impression is not a proof and does not allow to well infer. In psychology it is known as the anchoring effect, a cognitive bias. So we would want to wait for the good amount of impressions, assuring us of the reality behind the appearance (for, even the hundredth impression is an appearance too). But can reason really know the true identity of a thing, even more so a person? Coz, behind the “time criteria” there is a postulate of stability, that is, of stable identity. And we know people change, evolve, grow old… Does it means they have no identity? Does it means they were not “true”…? The “time will tell” principle is not that relevant. For, in order to know someone, 3 months are better than 3 days, but 3 decades will give you 3 identies (teenage, grown up, midday demon). You might sometime know oneself in one good occasion, and might some other time never know your wife or husband after 30 years… And what is “to be true” or “false”? In a way, Wickham was not that “false”, or a manipulative person… Maybe he was true in his inconstancy… He had really good manners and social qualities ; and his bad deeds do not erase his qualities, or make them false.. Did he use his qualities to do bad, on purpose? Speculation… So what do we really know about him..? Impressions… And how not to marry Wickham if you can’t distinguish between playing and being a gentleman?
Hi Ellie, I hope your health is getting better. I love your articles and the way you interpret Jane Austen’s novels. Excuse me for saying but I just had to pop up and tell you to use a little less makeup. You are beautiful, but it’s a little bit too much, I hope it’s not an attempt to cover health problems, believe me I know how it feels and I’ve been there myself. I’m really sorry if my comment is too personal.
I thought Edmund Bertram was well aware of Mary Crawford’s faults. He had complained about them on several occasions to Fanny. I think he believed he could save Mary from herself. Unfortunately, I believe both Edmund and Fanny were so busy judging others that they were blind to most of their own faults. They were able to see Mary’s faults a lot easier than they were able to see their own. Which is why I believe neither one of them really experienced any character growth in “Mansfield Park”.
Hi Ellie! The makeup is an improvement. The darker shade of lipstick looks better than the blood red. The foundation, even though it is dark for you, looks a lot more natural and shows well on camera. Eyebrows are just a little heavy (although fashionable). The eye shadow is still too bright. Brown or blue might be a better color for you. It would pick up the colors in your necklace. Your commentary is great. Love is blind. Unfortunately, I didn’t avoid marrying a scoundrel.
The only way to avoid this fate I know…get a private investigator on the case. Interesting character tropes in Regency and Victorian literature are the “rogue”, “villain”, and “scoundrel”. These are not the same thing. Don’t you just pine for the good old Victorian days, where women can so easily be ruined?