Marriage can be a blessing or a burden, but it can also break your heart. A psychologist reveals common issues couples face when deciding whether it’s time to end a marriage. Some signs of a relationship nearing its conclusion include abuse, physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, and spiritual issues. To avoid arguing and blame, couples should talk things out calmly. To move forward, it’s important to clearly communicate concerns and needs, and seek professional help if necessary. Taking steps to move forward can help you navigate the difficult decision to end your marriage.
The decision to end a marriage can be challenging, but it is possible to reconcile if one spouse dies, remarries after a divorce, or continues involvement in an activity that makes the marriage impossible. Some common symptoms that indicate a relationship likely to end include small irritations that grow over time, commitment to stay together, abuse, emotional exhaustion, unexplained discomfort, doubt and guilt, lack of mutual respect, and excessive control or possessiveness.
Emotional attachments can make it difficult to understand when it’s time to end a relationship or marriage. However, when honest with ourselves, we can recognize when we are experiencing more than one of these clear signs that its time to move on.
Toxic relationships or living with an abusive spouse are usually one of the main reasons for giving up on the marriage. Even if there is no rage, one or both partners may begin to lose respect for the relationship and their spouse, which might mean the end.
In the meantime, it may seem all too easy to simply give up and separate when things get difficult, but with commitment from both you and your partner, most couples can still work through the issues. To help you decide whether to end a marriage, follow these steps:
1. Complain without blame.
2. Repair conflicts skillfully.
3. Stay focused on the issues at hand.
4. Boost up physical affection.
5. Nurture fondness and fondness.
The only time to give up on a marriage is when one spouse dies, remarries another after a divorce, or continues involvement in an activity that makes the marriage impossible. Otherwise, there is a chance to reconcile.
📹 When Is It Time To Let Go?
Time Stamps: 0:00 – When is it time to give up and let go? 1:12 – When they found him a foot from the ground. 2:12 – The principle …
At what stage do most marriages fail?
While there are numerous divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. During those two high-risk timeframes, two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
But what is the most common age to get divorced? The average age for a couple entering their first divorce is 30 years old. And 60% of divorces involve spouses between the ages of 25 and 39. Women are more likely to file for divorce than men. The highest divorce rate is for African-American women aged 50 to 59. Conversely, the lowest divorce rate is for Asian women between 25 and 29 years old.2.
It is of interest that the divorce rate for heterosexual couples is double that of same-sex couples.
At what age is marriage most successful?
Marriage is most likely to last at least five years if the couple gets married between the ages of 28 and 32. The idea is that people at this age are just right. Krawiec says people should be old enough to understand the difference between true compatibility and puppy love, but young enough to be flexible. “A person usually succeeds in their marriage after age 25,” says Alicia Taverner, owner of Rancho Counseling. “I see couples on the verge of divorce. They married before they found themselves.”
When should I stop trying in my marriage?
When should I give up on saving my relationship? If you’re in a bad relationship, it’s time to end it.
- You’ve both stopped trying
- There is no connection
- You have different goals
- You no longer trust each other
- You can’t imagine a future together
- There is conflict or abuse in the relationship
Fun Ideas to Get the Spark Back. When the spark goes out, it can be relit. Try these ideas to rekindle your relationship.
Go on spontaneous dates often; write a love letter; take a bath for your partner; recreate the first date; plan a vacation to a place you both want to go; turn off technology, sit on the floor, and talk; get dressed up and cook at home, then help each other undress for dessert.
What is the walkaway wife syndrome?
Sometimes, one spouse leaves the other suddenly. The other spouse is shocked. This is called “walkaway wife syndrome.” This term is used for when a spouse, often the wife, feels alone, neglected, and resentful in a bad marriage and decides to leave. What is walkaway wife syndrome? The term “walkaway wife syndrome” suggests a sudden decision, but it often comes after a long period of conflict. The divorce takes years to happen. After trying to get her spouse to deal with their relationship issues, the wife finally decides it’s pointless. She has thought about her options and is ready to leave the marriage.
What is the misery stage of marriage?
Many couples consider a divorce during the Misery Stage. Many believe the pain is too much. It seems like too much has happened and it’s impossible to forgive and move on. Many think it’s impossible to restore love and trust, and that things will never be the same. When children are involved, this third stage of misery is particularly difficult for them. No matter what, the misery of the marriage affects the children. The pain is so intense during the Misery Stage that you just want it to stop. The pain is so intense, you can’t think of anything else. One spouse wants a divorce, while the other doesn’t. Love is tested to the limit.
What are the 4 pillars of unhappy marriage?
What are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? The Four Horsemen are four communication habits that increase the likelihood of divorce, according to research by John Gottman, Ph.D. Those four behaviors are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist in Philadelphia. She is a certified Gottman therapist and director and therapist at A Better Life Therapy. She got her master’s in couples and family therapy from Thomas Jefferson University.
. The research shows that differences in background, age, or opinions don’t affect relationships. It’s how people communicate that affects a relationship the most. One important finding is a set of communication habits called The Four Horsemen.
Gottman named these four communication habits after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in the Christian Bible. The four horsemen—conquest, war, hunger, and death—signaled the end of times. If you use Gottman’s Four Horsemen a lot, your relationship is likely to become unstable and unhappy. It will probably end.
Should you bring up marriage?
Final Thoughts. Discussing marriage is a big step in a relationship. It should be comfortable for both partners. Be open and honest with your partner. Addressing this early can help you build a strong relationship.
You’re writing your life story. Make sure you both agree on a prenup. To make love last, you have to prepare. Protect your future together. Dr. Vivian Oberling is the founder of Pace Groups. She is also a psychologist who has helped clients of all ages. She has worked in academic centers and hospitals (Stanford, Harvard, UCLA, Kaiser, and Rady Children’s) and uses evidence-based treatments and research to improve non-clinical services.
When should I bring up marriage?
When you’re ready, share your commitment and trust. If one partner wants to take the next step, it’s important to tell the other, says Tcharkhoutian. If the other person isn’t ready, talk about what would make them feel ready or what steps need to be taken to make the relationship healthier. Discuss marriage before moving in together. Doares says moving in together before talking about marriage is a bad idea. Why? If one person thinks the relationship will lead to marriage, while the other is only focused on the lease, feelings will get hurt. The marriage-desiring partner may think the relationship is headed towards marriage when it isn’t, Doares explains. This causes unnecessary pain and frustration. Cohabitating makes it harder to break up, so the relationship can drag on without either partner being happy.
What are the signs of an unhappy marriage?
You don’t talk much. There’s no intimacy. You’d rather be with friends than your partner. Everything they do bothers you. You’re emotionally distant. You have different values, beliefs, and goals. You criticize, disrespect, defend, and ignore each other. Being in a relationship is hard. Many couples forget the promise they made on their wedding day. People don’t just fall out of love. Problems often build up slowly, testing the basics of a relationship. People often file for divorce because of unreasonable behavior, infidelity, or financial problems.
What is the hardest years of marriage?
Divorce lawyers, psychologists, and researchers have rated the risk of divorce based on how long couples have been married. Low risk.
Home People also ask: What are the hardest years of marriage?
Years 1–2: Very risky; Years 3–4: Mild risk; Years 5–8: Very risky; Years 9–15: Low risk; Years 15 and over: Low to Mild Risk; in 2019, 2,015,603 marriages happened and 746,971 divorces were granted in America. That means about a 37% divorce rate. The average American marriage lasts about eight years.
What is a silent divorce?
What is a silent divorce? A silent divorce is a gradual separation between couples. Intimacy, love, and connection erode, leaving couples feeling more like roommates than romantic partners. A silent divorce is not recognized by law. A legal divorce involves court proceedings, lawyers, and dividing property. A silent divorce is about emotional disconnection, indifference, and a lack of shared experiences. The couple may still live together and have children, but they don’t love each other anymore.
Signs of a Silent Divorce. A silent divorce isn’t discussed. But there are signs you might be going through a silent divorce. We list these signs below.
What is the #1 cause of divorce?
Why people are getting divorced in the United States. 42. A recent survey found that lack of commitment is the main reason for divorce. Here are the reasons and their percentages:
- Lack of commitment 73%
- Argue too much 56%
- Infidelity 55%
- Married too young 46%
- Unrealistic expectations 45%
- Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
- Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
- Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%
(Respondents often cited more than one reason, so the percentages add up to more than 100 percent)
What Makes People More or Less Likely to Divorce? Your age. 43. 48% of those who marry before 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared to 25% of those who marry after 25.
📹 Should I Give Up Or Fight For My Marriage?
We know how difficult it is when your marriage is in trouble: the pain, helplessness, and hurt seem overwhelming. Here at …
My story when I let go. He started to become addicted to prescription drugs, he stop providing for his family. I left and while we were apart I asked him to go to counseling together and he said he didn’t want to. That’s when I knew it was time to divorce. We were married for 36 years. Very sad indeed
I don’t get it. If someone left because they thought they found something better, why would people like us want them back? While we were together in the early stage, everything was fine. When you get married, buy a house, have a baby and then things may get tough, either financially, PIES, and with the pandemic which didn’t help, and a partner leaves because they felt they got something else better than what they have to deal with, would we really want them back? It just doesn’t make sense.
My situation is weird: we got divorced after a year and a half of being separated. Recently he gave me back my things but now he just continues to string me along in conversation. It’s frustrating and annoying. I decided to today to just go ghost on him for a while just so I can breathe and not be hurt every time I see his name across my phone screen. I need to heal. And he isn’t admitting his wrong in anything and most of the conversations have been fruitless.
Sadly, most divorces today are initiated by women for the benign reason of being “unhappy” in the marriage. All other valid reasons, such as actual abuse, infidelity and threats to one’s life, are largely edge cases. Additionally, men and women (generally) cheat for different reasons. The reality is that “marriage” in the West, which is a state-run contractual agreement, is no longer beneficial to men—and, most importantly, does not incentivize fidelity. The odds are the average person of today will not be able to stay true to the oath that they take so either you should avoid marriage OR accept the fact that your wife will tire of you eventually and leave you for a (perceived) better option.
My husband makes me feel like I shouldn’t even be married. Like I feel worthless. I know that I am a good wife…just tired of fighting. I really don’t take much advice to leave because of the very reasons Dr beam stated. I’ll leave when I’m ready and I think I am. Can’t live someone who continue to push me away by ignoring me. I wish every marriage well. ❤️
Hi guys God is faithful ! He did it for me and i know He will do it for you. Work on your P.I.E.S. Physical self Intellectual self Emotional self Spiritual self Use this time to improve in these areas and know that this is for a season and have a peace that what ever happens you WILL be ok by the GRACE of GOD.
When marriages hit a rough patch, always great to recognize that changes need to be made to move forward.. but, if one person has emotionally moved on or just doesn’t want to be with you.. then what is to fight for.. hold your head high, take a deep breath and know that you will be ok. Never try to force someone to love you..
I don’t know how to fight, I have been avoiding the fight for over a decade. I avoided contact or conversations other than the daily, good morning, being asked about the weather or what I would like to eat. No interest in being at home. It’s a lonely and sad situation. My goal No is waiting to die. No I don’t have cancer or an illness, just have nothing to live for as a goal.
I am grateful that I am now reading the comments from all of you that are standing up for your marriage, comments that let me know that this world is full of wonderful people! Thank you all for your prayers 🙏 and I am returning your prayers. Thank You my Father God for standing with all of us. I love You! ❤️
After 7 months of going through the grieving process and healing, working on my PIES with dedication I have now realized how much work I needed to do years ago. I know I took my wife for granted, that I disrespected her, and as you said I want nothing more than to change those behaviors from the past. Today is today and I finally know what unconditional love really means. That I don’t love her because of fears but because I love her from my heart. I haven’t given up despite external advise as you mentioned because I loved her then when we met and I love her now at a much deeper level. I am not ready to give up on us after 23 yrs. We are a beautiful couple and I know deep inside a small spark is all it takes to win the fight. Until then it’s understanding, acknowledgement of the hurt I caused her, and unconditional love, commitment, and I am here still standing.
I’m so sick of being called weak, spineless, codependent, a simp, trauma bonded, or of having Stockholm syndrome. They always tell me to set boundaries and enforce them by leaving but never how to understand what’s happening and what my options are. This is the first article out of hundreds I’ve seen that accurately described what’s happening and how I feel about it.
My wife and I of just over 6 years of marriage and 4 kids have been in different houses for 2 months now and my first reaction was panic and pushed her so far away! My anger drove her to this decision and now I have stepped back have hope and 100% committed to me working on me and changing and working on this marriage even though she doesn’t want to! I still have a fire of passionate love for her and I will not quit! Please pray for a miracle I need this! And marriage helper so far has been a great influence on me and give me hope and I trust them because they know the pain! Thank you marriage helper. I can fully relate to this article because so many people tell me you’re over and leave her and you will never change but I have never been so committed to changing me and working on my marriage in a smart way
I am told over and over again to run for the hills. But I love her. I see her pain. I see her struggle. And I want to be there for her and help her to get through it. I took a vow. Not many people seem to respect those vows now a days. Thank you. I am fighting for my marriage and my family with everything I have.
I’ve been married for 16 years and in a weeks time would be 17 years. We have been together for 24 years. 2 months ago I found out my wife was involved in an affair for about 2 years already and she moved out with my daughters to move in with the other man who himself is also married but going through a divorce. I love my wife dearly and am willing to fight but she says she has moved on and feels nothing for me. She has completely cut herself off from the rest of the family and friends, stopped working, given up everything to be with another man and I feel so hopeless yet I don’t want to give up. I pray everyday for a change but don’t know if I should just quit and give up because I am getting no encouragement from my wife or kids. What else can I do? My hope is fading.
I’ve been called selfish by my fiance for wanting to keep our union together. I love her and we have a young daughter together. I rarely see them and I’m told I’m controlling for wanting to get back together and remain a family. It hurts so much when she tells me that she doesn’t want me anymore but I’m using SMART contact and working on my PIES. I come back to this article every single day to maintain my strength.
Hope. Faith. Is all I have for my marriage. My husband is telling me to wait he will come home when he’s ready. I don’t know how to take it. But I wait patiently. Even tho it’s defiling at times. Its very satisfying at the same time cuz I know I’m being a good woman. If he doesn’t appreciate it now. He will one day and know what real love is. Some pole don’t know how to love.
My spouse divorced me while deployed. She’s still gone. I’m doing everything I can to fight for my marriage and my relationship. I’m still fighting. It is hard. These articles have helped me and I keep hope and I keep doing what I can for my family. She gets home in a week or two and I will never give up on her.
I completely agree. There is always hope. People can change. The problems that led to wanting the divorce aren’t insurmountable. With communication, patience, and compassion there is nothing that can stand in the way of two people who fight for each other. But it takes two. It takes commitment for change, awareness and empathy to understand that change even needs to happen. At what point do you change so much for the other person, sacrifice, and fight before you realize your partner wouldn’t do the same for you? After the decade you spent with them, they’re willing to let it all just fade into the void? At some point, I suppose the question would be if either party is using divorce as an escape to circumvent the work and struggle of maintaining a healthy relationship— and do you want to be with someone who would do that?
My wife and I have been separated for nearly 2yrs. In Dec. of 2023 she filed for divorce. I really didn’t act on it but I guess I hadn’t hit rock bottom until about 6wks ago. God placed His hand on me and a light was switched on! I’m gonna fight for my wife even if she has checked out. My vows were real and I meant every word. I may have forgotten that for a moment, but God reminded me of what they meant. I love you Darcy! I will fight for you!
Thank you so much for this article. I’m married almost 37 yrs & learned of my husband’s infidelity (4x) beginning with our 3rd anniversary. The deception & betrayal, not to mention stealing 34 yrs of my life, has me doubting everything he says. I’m not sure if I will ever forgive him, & I KNOW I will never forget what he’s done. Trust no longer exists & I’m not sure well ever get that back. After all these years, we are more like friends with no benefits.
I have been fighting to make things work for years. My husband and I argue all the time, but his response is ‘why do we have to fight to stay together. It shouldn’t be a fight to make things work’. A fight to save a marriage and a family is what I’m talking about. I know our brains work different, so fight to me means keep trying. To him it means continuing to argue.
How does one fight for something that nobody wants him to have? How do you hope everyday, just to have your dreams crushed by the person you care the most for? How do you hold on, praying for something when all everyone does is try to sabotage it, and ruin things for you? It makes it very, very, very hard.
I’m not sure this answers the question, should I stay or should I go! This more gives the case for fighting for it. This is a black and white decesion with a lot of gray variables. I’ve stayed because I am concerned to what he will do to himself or others when I leave. But I am more of a parent then I am a wife and partner. We have been to marriage concealing every year, nothing changes.
Dr. How do I fight? We’ve been together 25 years and I’m sure my husband has Limerence behavior, within two weeks he leaves everything we have built over the years. Without pestering him and pushing me farther away from him? I love him to my core and want him back so much. He left me two months ago and went back to California to be with her. I want to fight for him. She is married as well and left her husband as well. How do I fight?
I fought enough for her, and continue until I’m dead, soon, for my kids …to have integrity,dignity and eternal love for my family that was hurt by the Jezabel Spirit that destroyed our precious family, due to selfishness. The pain from losing a spouse who cheated …for years ? And you find out, then find out your precious one in life knew all along but couldn’t speak? It’s so hard, to hard to forgive . Impossible to think …she was incredibly mean and hurtful when found out, it was so painful. I’m past alot but not all…I will not live long enough to fix it. Forgive ? Tough one, I try, my self worth is worth more . I want to leave this earth with a good reputation is all as the good man, good Dad, good Husband, I intended to be ….
My husband doesn’t want me or this marriage. But he has always been the man who is selfless and gentle. He has always been the provider. I gave him love but never provided the way he likes. For many reasons but mainly bc I was in my head thinking He will leave me. But I found peace hope and trust while he just moves to another state leaving me and his daughter. he tells me there is no hope but Right now isn’t the time to take advice from him. He is still in there… I know he loves me. I don’t deserve this pain regardless of what I provide. He loved me regardless.. should I fight because I know my actions will earn my forgiveness. Or let him go because I would never force him to stay.
I’m in a situation but I am on deployment. She said she wants to separate never said divorce never said I don’t love you. But I am halfway around the world I am powerless to stop this. She says she doesn’t want anything and still wants to be co parents. I need help our marriage needs help. It doesn’t deserve this. My son doesn’t deserve this.
But, both spouses have to be wanting to save the marriage. My husband seems perfectly ok in separate rooms and never touching me or showing affection. I have been to counseling and he refused to go. He asked me if he was the one with the problem why was I the one going to counseling. He takes no responsibility in the marriage.
Its so hard especially when he IS willing and desperate to work it out. He doesn’t blame me, he agonizes every single morning over the pain in my face and the insecurity he’s given me due to his actions. He couldn’t even give a reason for his actions, couldn’t give a name to the woman, it was just a pure impulse decision that he can’t remember even doing. He only knows in his heart something happened but can’t know when or what. He throws himself at my feet begging and telling me how much he doesn’t deserve me. He has no pride or desire in what he’s done but the repercussions are still the same. All I can do is have faith and pray to God and pray he shows me his light
I think my spouse has real mental issues. From childhood. Feeling rejected by his mom (she gave him up at birth but then got him back at age 5). Alcoholic since 19. We have been married for 18 years. He cheated. Twice. Filed for divorce. Then dismissed it. Then he became abusive. At this point I dont know if I should stay or go…
I was told everyday for a month that they weren’t happy with me and no matter what I did it didn’t work she said that I didn’t show enough emotion but I had neck cancer surgery a month before she started saying that to me everyday I realized that I only saw the good in her while all she saw was the bad in me no matter how many sweet things I did for her never the flowers are beautiful it was they were not the kind she wanted I used the VA marriage counseling but it didn’t seem to work at all
I have been struggling in my marriage for five years with my husband juggling between myself n another woman and i had to give up because of the pain.i could not go on any longer. its to hurtful. during this five years a baby is in the mids by the other woman what more to hold on to.i love my husband but dont have the strength to fight.i gave him over to the lord.your programs are very enlightening.hope you can help me.
Am going through the most and today was the worst day until i lesten to this, i prayed and took a fast for my husband to come back home, but he is so cold, i dont know this side of him, i was about to give up, am just going through the most he left me knowing am pregnant, i berely sleep am always stressed out, when will this pain end
Seeing the title, I was hoping for a judgment, like some kind of formula to help me weigh different possibilities, but instead I found some motivational talk to “fight” and “rescue” and play down the other option from the get-go as if it is cowardly and pathetic. Sounds uplifting, I guess, but this is not much different than saying that everyone can “do anything” as long as there is passion or whatever, all while being blind to the facts that just don’t support their dream fantasy.
“If the person you love is still in there.” They ARE still in there! No “if” about it! This is fundamentally a spiritual battle, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12
During these times, no matter what we plan or try to do, the constant changes we must adapt to, like Covid changes with the schools or work situations or whatever – just keep us sliding down a depressing and destructive path. We love each other and don’t want out but staying in with constant conflict between us trying to cope with these times in disagreements… just seems like too much and we wonder at times if separating might be healthier for the kids and may offer more reliable stability for our family.
There’s nothing left to fight for. This do called marriage has waisted years upon years to just horrible bad quality of life for decades. We’re in our 50s and we don’t have many years left. I don’t want to spend my last years on this earth lonely, disrespected, and vilified in my own home. I’m getting a divorce at all costs ( my fight) so at least one of us can enjoy our last days on this Earth after decades of pure hell. And yes you guessed it right I am the man in this flawed domestic arrangement.
Selfish husband and control everything I wanted?? it’s killing me everyday for over 10 yrs.but I choose to stay, bec I love and happy w/ my children. Still hoping he can appreciate me n realize that I have a right too. Stay at home honestly is very boring😔 to avoid boredom I start to hobby smthing that gives our brain creative.
My wife doesn’t want to work on the marriage has asked for a divorce and there is no communication, not by my choice. She won’t respond to me at all. we don’t have kids and I’ve prayed every day for months with no change. How do I keep going and how do I know if it’s even possible, there’s no other person, she doesn’t want to be married anymore I haven’t been the best husband but she says she knows I love her but love alone is not enough. I have heard that we must let go and trust God and put him above all else and even above your marriage, but it also says in scripture ask and thou shall receive. So I’m really confused. If we’re supposed to let go let go and trust God, but at the same be fine if He doesn’t restore your marriage it creates a dichotomy that I’m really having trouble navigating. I’m really confused on this journey. I’ve been working on my pies and I’ve worked with a MH coach previously but nothing seems to be helping
That’s a nice story however it’s not realistic. The only way this could be maintained is if I was willing to accept things which I am unwilling to do – things that contradict my value set And things that on a daily basis move further away from the plans and goals which I was working toward prior to being married in presume to continue working toward in married life.
Not married on him, we’ve been together for 20 blissful years, we had a son, unfortunately three days ago someone messaged me on Facebook that he had an affair and pull over a baby’s photo, I confronted him, he said it’s not true until that person messaged me again and told me that that child was my husband daughter who happened to be born last dec 3, my world fall apart, he asking for forgiveness but I’m not ready yet since I was thinking about my son who is the main casualty, how can I rebuild the trust that he just destroyed, I almost commit suicide yesterday! I’m really depressed for now…
It’s hard to find the strength if you stay a long time and there’s still no change, or cutoff of communication from the affair partner. I ended up severely traumatized over and over, with c-PTSD and clinical depression. It’s been hard to try to come back from continued multiple traumas. I separated from him to work on me. It’s been three years and he doesn’t seem to care or miss me. Divorce? Forget it. What’s the point now. I’m healing faster just staying away from him.
Im a mom of 3 married for 10 years but we’ve been together for 14 years and now he ask for his Freedom ….. I want to fight for oUr Love for Our Family not just for the Kids but for myself …. I am still in love with Him but he wants to explore and meet new Faces…. He wants to chase new girls or shall i say he always talk/flirt with his old friends and exs…. What am i going to do??? Im so broke and Down ….
3 hours ago befor our fight she says she loves me. But then I told her something that i did not want to say. but i said it without thinking. And she left me. I ask for forgiveness. But no reponse. She says she does not even hate me. Because hate is a strong emotion. She feels nothing but yet she is crying and showing pain. She hurted me and i her. She bloked me. She doesnt want to see me. For the life of me i love that women like a fool. We are married and its a long distance relationship until visa will be fixed
Why should a marriage be preserved in which one party is just a consumer???? When you do everything for your family and your legal partner is just an attendee ????? I got divorced after 20 years of marriage and three children. My memory of this marriage is simply endless misunderstanding and unwillingness to help. I do not regret my decision. Even my kids think I should have done it much sooner….My husband don’t wanted a divorce – he promised me he will change…..Actually he loved the comfort and peace I gave him…Divorce is sometimes necessary and I think that actually a divorce can teach us what not to do in a future relationship. To keep a marriage for financial reasons or for the sake of the children….No, these are not valid reasons. I got out of my marriage with nothing. At the moment I have my own home, a small business, three grown children and a calm and orderly life. My ex-husband has not moved one step from the position I left him in… So there are also happy divorces…
There is no fighting for your marriage. I’m on my third and I’ve learned that it’s not up to me. No matter what you do, if she’s already attracted to someone else, you have to become the monster no matter how good a man you are. The more you try and the better you become, the angrier she becomes because she needs you to be ogre to justify not being attracted to you anymore.
Please help. I fighting hard to gain my spouse back. It hurts deeply just like Dr Joe says. I feel I have no route to safe our marriage and have her gain my trust. She is doing alittle thing to distract me off line and throw the marriage away. Please help and direction. I know there is not an answer but some will help guide me to the right direction. Responding to your spouse is an key, I know but sometimes she is putting me on the spot.
It’s hard to continue to fight when you are fighting your husband to fight for our relationship. It’s hard to not give up when the lying, the silent treatments, the deception and manipulation and gas lighting makes me want to walk away. It’s hard, because I know that he needs to want to work on himself to make us work. He never has true remorse and lacks self awareness and emotional intelligence. It’s beyond frustrating. I got to the point that I don’t care anymore either way. If it works, fine and if not, fine. I’m exhausted
My husband do not have the guts to tell me he rather give me an evil eye and be rude to me. It does not hurt so bad anymore cause he does this 42 years back. I am a christian and not interested in another man so it is him that suffer the most. He cheated on me since the beginning how many times??? He was working g away from home most of our married life. He once when I asked him if he wanna be single again after a while he said yes.
My wife has become so nasty towards me. She holding unforgiveness for stuff that happened 20 years ago. She said that this can not be fixed. She a asked for a divorce a few months ago. She recently moved in her cousin plus 4 family into my home without asking me. They have not offer to help with the light bill or the internet. At least they buy food with their foodstamps. My wife will drop whatever shes doing when her mommy calls. Her mother is a bad influence before her husband past away now it’s worse. Nothing worse to be in a home full of people but feeling alone. There’s no romance,no intimacy no sex. It’s like being in a morgue.
I need help, I have been married for 35years, my husband has been cheating for most of the 35yrs whilst working away from home when he was in the military in South Africa obviously unbeknown to me. He now works for a company that supplies radios etc. to the military, also being away from home often and for the past 3 years has been having an affair but everyone thinks he is such a nice person and I am the witch, how do I deal with this, I am tired, exhausted.
I’ve been married over 25 yrs and my wife just now tells me how mean and miserable I have been to live with. I tell her I’m sorry but why are we now talking about this. She won’t do marriage counseling unless it’s by a Christian person. But she insists that I’m the one who needs the help not her. I could go on and on . I’m Not sure how to move forward other than to just give her the space she wants.
What if my wife went to a psychic who told her to end the marriage we are having a ton of sex but my wife says she has love for me but is not in love with me my wife hasn’t been unfaithful but she has a strong physical attraction to another person she works with who gives her butterflies in her stomach and makes her feel like she is a teenager again which to me means puppy love I have been fighting every way I know how but I fear the years of neglect are too much for her to overcome
My husband has left our marriage bed at first it was because of our premature daughters machines and now he wants a divorce because he said that I never called him to our bed to have sex and I said well you never called me either to have sex. We have been married 23 years now and have 5 children and he wants out of the marriage cause he said we haven’t been getting along for years. I said we can work on our marriage but he doesn’t want to. Help me please.
I’m just curious what the creators of Marriage Helper would say when it comes to abuse? My husband sent me the link to watch this. He is a batterer and child abuser. He’s physically, verbally and financially abused us for 8 years. Does this service or website support that? He is delusional and this article is giving him hope that we will get back together. The terminology that is used in this article is very problematic, imo. Keeps referring to fighting for the marriage. That’s exactly the problem. All he wants to do is fight and he probably sees himself as a “warrior” as the article mentions because he’s ex-military and all his dad taught him was how to fight & how to abuse & hurt those that you claim to love. Smh.
I am fighting for my love, no marriage here. I am what is called, the other woman, who knew him first, who loves him more than herself, who spent years of youth and friendship with him, learned other cultures, enjoyed new foods, friendships. Those strong feelings are here today, after sixty years. Should I keep fighting. I truly love him.