When To Leave A Christian Marriage?

I know that this article raises other unanswered questions such as… How do you go from saying a person can flee an abusive spouse to saying they can divorce one? youtu.be/N2pC6ZikbYo What about the idea that marriage is literally unbreakable and that people who divorce are still married in God’s eyes? youtu.be/N2pC6ZikbYo What about the 500 other questions I’ve got about this and a bunch of different passages of Scripture related to it? youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZ3iRMLYFlHtBvJzugPJp9P5X1T-hA91j

I grew up in a rural, conservative area in the US. A woman who attended a different church kept going to her pastor and leaders at her church, telling them about her abusive husband. Until the last time, when he killed her. We found out when it made the news. Even as a child, I realized this situation was unhealthy and it was terrible counsel to tell her to stay. The right counsel could have saved her life.

If you’re being abused, get out. They very rarely change. When they fear God, they keep his commandments. Love your wife, be gentle with her. I had my husband removed by the police because of his abuse. I have no regrets for doing it. I have moments of sadness because he didn’t love me or our marriage enough to be accountable and get help. Never ever tell a woman to stay in an abusive marriage because she’s a Christian. That is just as if not more damaging than the abuse itself. Men don’t go around abusing each other, because a man would fight back. It’s an unequal fight. It’s a cowardly weak man, who bullies those he’s supposed to protect.

I may have commented before, I don’t remember, but I want to thank you again for being a voice of reason. My child suffered for 13 years. Her spouse wasn’t physically abusive but mentally ill. He psychologically and emotionally beat her down until she almost had a nervous breakdown. I’m writing this to let people know that there is more than one type of abuse. While I would never condone divorce for trivial reasons like boredom or laziness or deciding the grass is greener elsewhere, I will never again make the mistake of dismissing daily, calculated, mental torture.

I was in an abusive marriage. I tried and tried in that marriage, but nothing worked. I always gave him lots of praise and respect for his accomplishments and expertise in his work and other things, yet still was abused. There was a nice show at church of us being a sweet Christian couple, but it was only half Christian. One day after going out for breakfast we stopped for gas. While he was pumping gas I had a praise CD playing and I prayed. I told God that I had tried everything I knew, and that I am just taking my hands off the whole thing. I am tired. I told God I am putting it all in Your hands. Do whatever you need to do. I can’t do anything else. When we got home I went in my little office and put in one praise CD after the next. I sang praises and prayed for hours. I had no idea what taking my hands off and fully letting God take over would do in a few hours. Later that evening he snuck out of the house on foot in a heavy, drenching rain to walk to K-Mart to try to buy a gun to come back and kill me along with my mother and sister. They were smart enough to see how deranged he was and did not sell one to him. The next part is still an unknown mystery on what and how something transpired, but he wound up in the ER of the closest hospital. How and why he got there??? My father-in-law called to let me know he was in the hospital but would probably be transferred to another, but would give me no details. I called the ER they could tell me nothing and said he didn’t want to speak with me.

Not enough Christians or pastors talking about this subject! I stayed in an abusive marriage for years, pastors knew, people knew, and just told him he needed to be involved in more ministry and read his Bible more. It broke me, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, etc. I was told “well what did you do” or “we don’t just give up on marriage.” I became so numb to everything around me I told I realized my kids were also numb to it, they stopped reacting to the abuse, it was the norm. I prayed and filed for divorce, one of the pastor’s at our church blamed me for losing one of his men, and was cut off by many. It’s been 11 years now and I still feel condemned when I go to church (I left that one), because of the damage it did. I never hear anyone talk about this stuff in the church, it’s talked about behind closed doors, not at the pulpit. This has brought me some healing believe it or not, never thought about this perspective, thank you!!

My husband and I have been separated for the last three months. Nearly everywhere I sought advice – including Christian spaces – people would simply give me condolences on my ended marriage and encourage me to move on. I’d explain that our marriage isn’t over, just on an agreed pause, and people would condescendingly pat me on the head and assure me I could move on in time. This week we reconnected and recommitted to God, each other, and our marriage. Did he treat me badly? Yes. Did I do the same to him? Yes. This is called “being human”. We’ve been fed fairy tale lies about finding “the one”, a perfect someone we could have a perfect life with. This is secular nonsense and has nothing to do with God. You can’t just throw away your marriage because you moved past the puppy love phase.

Thank you so much for this. I had to flee an abusive spouse last summer. I stayed for 12 years, faithfully trying to pray my husband into being a godly man. I am angry at myself for not having left sooner. I’m trying to reconcile with former church leaders for not stepping in when I begged for help. This is very important and needed advice. So many women are in abusive relationships and they stay because they feel that they are supposed to be faithful and lead their husband to Jesus. I had a lightbulb moment when I realized I was trying to BE Jesus for him. And another when a great friend put a mirror up to my situation and I could no longer deny the abuse being done to myself and my children. The church needs training in this area

Thank you Mike! Years ago I was in a very toxic and abusive marriage (emotional and physical). People really should be cautious telling a woman/man to stay in an abusive relationship. As a survivor of abuse I can say it is quite dangerous and can continue to escalate. I got some good and bad advice from well meaning believers and pastors (ie to stay or to leave). My ex lied and manipulated many people, even me. I finally got courage and left. The violence really escalated then. He kept harassing me and stocking me on this one night. I called the cops and fortunately an officer was there when he showed up to escalate things again. It is a long story of how that arrest occurred. But, when the arrest happened, the officer found a gun on him and he normally did not have a gun! So I can only imagine what his plans were that night, very scary. I had a toddler in the home and we could have been killed. He was arrested and put in jail for some months…and steered clear of us after that as it was court ordered not to bother me again. I never sought child support or he could have fought for supervised visits. Today my son is in his mid twenties and works in ministry! God did not abandon us, He had better plans for us. I eventually remarried a wonderful man who makes me feels safe and secure. He even adopted my son. Therefore, I thank you Mike for shedding light on this topic as many of us may feel guilt or shame, and the church should not do that to victims of abuse… many of us already are doing that to ourselves.

I always wonder if my divorce was legit. My husband didn’t beat me. He does, however, most likely have a personality disorder, and that was so stressful to live under. Constant lecturing, perusal what I did, using an app to see when I should be home and then yell at me if I didn’t arrive when he thought I should be home, or call when I was going to be fifteen plus minutes late, even though I never was crazy late (meaning over thirty minutes.). There were odd obsessions too, which needed to be followed to the T or there would be a lecture or anger. We’re talking the way curtains hung or how blankets were set up in our daughter’s room, etc. I walked on eggshells constantly, and it was so stressful. I never knew if he was going to start slamming things around because they weren’t where he thought they should be. If I didn’t think the way he thought I should, he would say my thought process was disturbing. It was just too much, and the stress has diminished now that he’s out. I think I saw a couple of red flags when we were dating, but they were few and far in between. Once we got married and a house, it got much worse. Then when my daughter came, it went through the roof. But you can’t fix a marriage when someone doesn’t take responsibility and doesn’t see that what they are doing should be an issue.

I am not trying to victim-blame any survivor because I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse, but please HEAR ME OUT. For those who haven’t entered marriage, look for red flags. Be discerning about the spirit the individual has. The gift of discernment allows you to detect evil spirits before anything they do gets exposed. I highly doubt people become abusive after marriage unless they are Ted Bundy. For those who divorced an abuser, I hope it becomes a learning lesson in terms of how crucial your relationship with Jesus comes first.

I was called every name in the book when my partner was upset with rage in my face . I would be kicked out with my kids every so many months then they would say I’m sorry cry and the cycle would go on for 15 years . I ran to churches counseling all the time and nothing changed so I left divorced and remarried. My ex tells me constantly still that I’m going to hell for remarrying. I got hit across the face a couple of times and locked in my room so I couldn’t leave. I was so tormented with fear . I pray God heals me from the trauma

Thank you, Mike for this! I was in a severely emotionally abusive and manipulative marriage for 5 years (and the 3 years previous while dating/engaged). It was horrific. Every time something came up that he disagreed with me on, he’d get right in my face, yell at me, tell me how worthless and awful I was – how I’d never amount to anything or “this” is why I had no friends. Towards the end it started becoming physical, he even got to the point where he physically cornered me with his body (nose to nose and body to body) and was screaming in my face. When I tried to kick him out of the apartment he’d make a scene and say how people were going to call the police (because he knew I had anxiety about this kind of stuff), so I’d let him back in. I was incredibly suicidal, told nobody about the situation out of shame (the church we went to knew about 6 months before I left, but I didn’t even tell my parents yet at that point) and continued to stay thinking that divorcing, even in this situation, was wrong. I prayed all the time that God would free me from the situation (as in, have me die in some way because I felt that was the only escape). Eventually, my ex told me one day during a fight to just leave and go live with my parents. I finally felt ready, despite knowing I’d deal with some hateful people. I knew I did NOT want to have children with this person and this would be an awful situation to bring children into. I had to leave for my future children, more than anything. So that’s what I did.

Thank you for speaking on this! I wish I had this knowledge and support years ago! I took physical abuse for years from my spouse, always thinking I needed to stay for biblical reasons. I can’t tell you how many times my life was threatened. I stayed, miserable and felt alone, bitterness and resentment began to fester in my heart so much so that I really believed at that time the only way out was to seek comfort outside of my marriage so I sinned and was unfaithful. That created a whole set of issues. I knew it was wrong but I was desperate because I didn’t believe divorce was an option. That’s how twisted my head was at the time. I’m still currently legally married to my spouse (living separate). I’m unhappy and confused. My regret was to not get out sooner! My daughters went through the worst and I feel guilty for it every single day, it’s not worth it. If anyone is in this situation get out asap!

This can definitely be applied to abusive elders in different cultures. In my culture, families remain under the authority of their elders (mostly uncles and older men). Even though I’m not in an abusive marriage, my husband comes from a verbally abusive and neglectful family. I still find this article so encouraging. My husband and I made the decision to move away from his mother last night. We’re secretly looking for a small place we can afford. In my culture, it’s the responsibility of the youngest son to care for his parents as they grow old. All of my husband’s life, he’s been gaslighted and verbally abused into submission by his uncle’s (some who are pastors) and his mother while they also demand him to stand up and be a man. He feels abandoned by his siblings because they don’t give him any support… They only want him to live a life suitable in their eyes. I have witnessed it so many times in the two years we’ve been married and I’ve also been gaslighted by them to submit to their demands… I have been praying if our decision is the right one because I am so afraid of facing more verbal abuse and gaslighting for “rebelling”. The verses you read from really helped push all of my doubts away. Please pray my husband doesn’t give into the abuse… He’s been so broken by it and now he needs to fight to protect me and our marriage…

I was in an abusive marriage for over 20 years. I am thankful for the pastoral and family of God around me at the time that applied these truths to my life and walked with me on my way out. This requires much wisdom and godly men and women to be actively involved in your life to see and protect. I think that faking this is not possible if you have that. I wouldn’t have put that caveat in front of what you say about leaving an abusive person. Abuse is always emotional and psychological before it is physical. Thank you for biblically laying out the case for fleeing this type of marriage so clearly.

My wife became abusive to the point that they took our daughter and placed her in foster care. My wife took off and I spent two years getting my kid out of the foster care system and part of that was promising to leave the state. Me and my daughter left and I spent another year getting a divorce, but it ate me up and I was so unsure if I made the right decision. I am no longer unsure, thank you so much for this. I am in tears. I did not want my marrige to fail and prayed for it to come back, but there is no going back and I know the abbuse would continue and if they took my kid into foster care again I would not get her back.

I have a family member who has a husband that beat her and molested her 2 small children under age 5. Both a girl and boy. The church she was involved with this, including a family member who is a pastor. Both pastors encouraged her to stay with her husband (knowing what he did). She stayed with him and the kids lived a horrible life. The family member is 16 years older than me, so I had no power in the situation to involve CPS (I was close to the same age of the kids). I think it’s disgusting that 2 pastors worked together to keep this abusive marriage together. Now the kids are adults and have massive problems in life from all the horrible abuse and perusal their mother be abused almost daily. I can’t believe pastors would encourage this. I stay clear of that denomination!!!!!

Great topic and much needed! This is why we should use common sense in situations like this. A person who tells a woman to stay in abuse marriage clearly hasn’t been in one herself. We must always help the victim because one day it might be too late. Being beaten up by husband doesn’t glorify God by any means. My friend’s daughter was almost beaten to death last summer by her husband (now ex). It wasn’t the first time he laid a hand on her either. Every woman should be taught, that if a man hits her, it’ll happen again, and that she should flee.

Thank you, pastor Mike. I have known several people in abusive situations, and I view it as a great mercy that sexual immorality so often goes hand-in-hand with severe abuse. It’s a terrible thing, but it can be easier on the abused spouse when the situation is black and white like that. If I heard of a situation in my church where a man was abusing & endangering his family, I’d hope that leadership would Matthew 18:17 the abuser for their unrepentant sin, not the spouse who is being abused. There is no place for abuse in a Christian household, and it breaks my heart to see that there are so many people who have had to go through it.

Thank you for posting this!! I watched the article this came from and it helped me so much!! My therapist said that some of the ways my ex-husband abused me were some of the same ways they torture people in prisoner of war camps. He never abused our daughter, but she lived in a toxic environment for the first ten years of her life and developed an eating disorder that didn’t start healing, in spite of seeing professionals, until I took her and left him and moved in with my parents. My psychiatrist said I might have saved her life by doing that. I was so happy after I watched the original article because I felt like I finally got some answers on a subject a lot of teachers seem to shy away from–reality!!! And–my ex was a pastor ten of the twenty-two years we were married. Thank you and God bless you!

This may have helped me, if things had gone differently between my ex wife and I. I was in a narcissistically abusive marriage, and I was only just beginning to realize something was off, when she abandoned the marriage altogether (I wasn’t reacting to her abuse, so no “supply”). As it happened though, I divorced for abandonment (1 Cor 7:15), instead of abuse, once I saw the abuse for what it was.

A way I approached this recently was with the thought of what Jesus said about how divorce was permitted through Moses because the people were of hard hearts… Ideally a Christian marriage should have two people with soft hearts (not perfect of course, but generally mature, emotionally intelligent and more importantly, renewed by the Spirit)… But it doesn’t always turn out that way, and I think in cases of (cold-hearted unrepentant) abuse (which on its own is already a breach of the marital covenant to love and protect), the case ought to be taken to God, humbly and in all “pain and honesty”, for an annulment to be made

I agree with Pst. Mike. I think that the principal behind that command is that what God has joined let noone separate. The wife and husband are joined via their bodies and so if one cheats then they have ripped apart what is one. I think that if someone is seriously abusing their spouse they are also ripping apart what is one

I’m glad that you made this and articulated it well. I’m saddened and disappointed by Christians who need this proof because they do not comprehend morality well enough or simply do not possess empathy. I’m saddened by the stories of those lives lost and those psychologically traumatized in abusive relationships while the ministers remain incompetent fools. It’s cerebral Christianity at fault here. It’s the neglect of allowing the Spirit to transform and guide us. We instead hold the law against divorce as a snare for victims. I only hope this topic can be a wake up call to many. Thanks again for covering this.

I’ve known people who have left abusive marriages. Two who left violently abusive spouses, one who left a spouse who had an emotional affair and verbally abused her over and over. To say they need to reconcile with their spouses, one of whom went to prison over it and one of whom was abusing their child as well, has always struck me as highly unbiblical, but this is finally real, tangible evidence in the bible for why the divorces were biblical. Definitely sharing this.

This is great teaching and great advice HOWEVER like bullying and the me too movement if we are not careful abuse will be used with a wide brush just as men of old abused reasons why they should divorce their wives. WE MUST UNPACK WHAT BIBLICAL ABUSE IS You cannot be because your husband talks loud because he’s not emotionally needing your needs etc If we are not careful we would do more damage then we intended just in the opposite direction.

Struggling with this currently. My wife is verbally and financially abusive. She has been physical on a couple occasions, breaking things, pushing me, punching me once, throwing things at me a couple times. She used to sit on the kids and berate them. No one in town likes her, I do not even like being in public because of how abrasive she has become to everyone in her life. I know that should I divorce her, she is going to drag me and the kids through the mud, I also know she is going to make accusations, I know this because I was trying to leave her in 2017 and she threatened me with what she would say and do should I actually follow through with leaving her. The local church, eh, they are not helping other than “You should do everything in your power to mend the marriage.” Well, I have been for years and she is only getting worse, she does not want to change! As a man, this is difficult, there are no resources and the lawyer said the chances of me getting full custody, even with the recordings I have is slim because the courts always favor the woman. So it may be best to tolerate this till the kids move out of the house in 10 years and then I can move on with my life. I had to call a woman’s abuse line to get information back in September. . .

Thanks pastor Mike for being faithful to God. I’m totally convinced with what you are saying and that when someone’s life is in danger they can file a divorce. But the question is how do we define abuse? I was discussing the issue of divorce with a Muslim and I stood my ground that divorce should be in very specific cases including adultery or abuse. The question I got is and how do you define abuse? What if the abuse is not physical but emotional? What if a women/ man stop feeling they love their spouse and they keep on saying I feel abused and devastated by staying in this relationship. Given our current culture, everything could be defined as abuse. So, is it possible to provide me with some ground rules to what is considered as abuse from a biblical view point?

I stayed with my abusive husband for 7 years in large part because I knew divorce was wrong, and as a child of divorce, I didn’t want our son to have to experience the pain of divorce like i did as a child. But after years of abuse, adultery, and ultimately him telling me he thought we should see other people (while married) i told him i dont agree, that’s not biblical. So he said well do you want a divorce? And after much discussion about this together, he made his choice. . . Im glad we got away in the end, but if id heard advice like this i probably would have gotten out a lot sooner. Either way I know God works all things to the good of those that love Him and I trust His sovereignty and timing.

Scripture prescribes separation in some cases but never remarriage. This separation could be permanent but remarriage cuts off the possibility of reconciliation that Scripture also prescribes and is never prescribed in the New Testament. A covenant is lifelong and the true or mature believer will obey God and hold to that covenant regardless if the other party is disobedient. Yes, find safety, allow space and time but if so remain unmarried as Scripture prescribes if reconciliation is not possible. 1 Corinthians 7:10‭-‬11 KJV And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:39 KJV The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

This teaching, reinforces the need to “date” with purpose to insure that the yoke and commitment are equal and that almost always insured that if problems arise in the marriage, God will be center, and not pushed aside. Our society has dumbed down the dating process, to movies and making out. It needs to be purposeful, both parties knowing that the ultimate result is marriage, forever. Dating for fun and frolic, leads to these situations that are untenable as they are unchristian.

Abusive relationships are no joke and people who use The Scriptures to justify such treatment of others especially their spouses are despicable in my opinion. I really appreciate your Christ centered and Scripturally accurate content for the furtherance of The Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ 🙏❤️. This has nothing to do with the article but please listen if you want to otherwise leave it alone and ignore it. Hello my name is Justin and I’m a fellow Christian and Apologist but I’m also a college student. I’m not a closed minded Theist as I have nothing against Atheists or unbelievers as I speak to them often to understand their reasons for unbelief but we as Christians are convinced of God’s Existence due to many real factors). I’m not trying to convert anyone or convince anyone to become Christians as that’s The Holy Spirit’s job to help people believe but only explain why I believe in Jesus Christ. There’s actually evidence of God’s Existence in Christianity. First of all there’s proof that Jesus of Nazareth existed in history since the writings of Tacitus, Josephus Flavius, Pliny the younger and other historical documents prove that He was living two thousand years ago that even scholars both religious and Atheists agree with historically speaking but not that He’s The Divine Son of God because obviously they don’t. \r \r I’m going to give you historical and archeological evidence for God’s Existence as The Scriptures have prophecies that predate the events recorded in them by several millennia including Matthew, Hosea and Zechariah which prophesy accurately of the people of Israel becoming a nation again after over 1900 years of being scattered around the nations since the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in 70 A.

I may not know the bible 100%…..but i remember a story of a woman going behind her greedy husbands back to give supplies to some soldiers b/c he didnt want to but GOD told HER to. She wanted to remain faithful to the Lord. I guarantee i messed up the story …but that stood with me. We sre to stay Faithful to the Lord ..not a abusive partner. Love your website ❤❤

Hello Mike! Thank you for your Godly work and ministry……Question on this teaching. Can Peter 2:20 be applied to an abusive marriage? (applying this verse to a physically abusive relationship ) Peter 2:20, NIV: But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. Also if the abuse is ’emotional’ (“emotional abuse” seems to be a relative term that can be pulled out for almost anything)……would you apply the same teaching as given in your teaching?

I’m glad that we’re allowed to flee an abusive marriage. That’s a good thing. Especially if someones life is at stake. I’m not married yet but I’m hesitant about getting married even though it’s my dream to get married to my fiance but he’s a little bit aggressive when he loses his temper. He rarely hits me unless we’re just teasing each other by spanking each others buts but rare occasion he gets violent when he’s upset. Normally it’s just him yelling. I always have to talk in a calm voice or he gets even more angry. I always try my best to calm him down and hope for the best. The cause of his anger outbursts is his disabilities both psychotic disorder, anxiety, and autism. He takes meds but he’s severe enough that his meds don’t completely stabilize his mood. Psychotic disorder comes in different types of disabilities. I have a psychotic disorder called schitzoaffective disorder and his is more similar to schitzofernia. He also has an aunt with schitzofernia so severe that meds won’t even help her so she has to live in a mental hospital her whole life. I’ve been with my fiance for nine years now. I’m really hoping he learns to walk away successfully instead of yell or hit people. I’ve seen him walk away before so I know he has the ability to control his anger in a healthy way. Pray for him that God will teach him how to walk away each time he gets mad. We’re hoping to move in together someday and buy a house together in the future. We don’t plant on having kids until paradise when we know we’ll be perfect and have perfect children who are obedient to us and God.

I came to christ when I understood that he loved me. I didn’t think or believe that God would love someone like me even after reading/hearing passages like John 3:16. I felt like God shouldn’t and didn’t love me. I was born and raised in church so I have believed that God existed at least. But when I finally understood that God did love me I was full of joy and desired to live for him. I got baptized a few times in several churches and I tried to serve God in what younger kid me considered extreme ways like giving christmas and birthday preasents to people who may have had less then me. I still desire to serve and live for God but my fear of the world too often overcomes my desire to serve God. This was a slow process that grew over the years and my fear is that I might now be too afraid to follow God. There are times where I felt like God wanted me to talk to someone and I did and that person was blessed it seems, but afterwards out of excitement I would tell my parents about it and they’d tell me that was not a smart thing to do and that it was dangerous. After a while I stopped doing things like that. Idk if that is a good thing or not, but after a while of trying to do what I felt God leading me to do and being scolded for it cause I did it in an unsafe way, I eventually stopped doing it altogether. Now I have come to this place where I’m just doing my own thing and wondering if I am saved or not.

Whilst I really appreciated hearing this guy’s take on these scripture verses and to support the thought that wives being harmed by abusive husbands can separate and divorce, I think one still needs to take care about remarriage. Please be very careful not to overlook marrying a divorced man because you could then be accused of adultery. It is really so important to seek healing once you are in a safe space. Not to look to another safer kinder man as comforting as that is. The more I delve the more I see that ppl are not understanding the truth – how commonplace remarriage between divorced couples is! Your salvation and the ability to walk through Heaven’s gates are at risk!

Pastor Mike, I have left my marriage of 14 years because of mental abuse. We are now legally divorced. My husband is a sociopath and a pathological narcissist. He admitted to me that he has no empathy, sympathy or guilt for anything he does and can’t even love (anyone). I asked if he loved me, and he realized what he said, and backed out and said, of course I love you. I asked what he loved about me and he said, “I love everything you do for me.” I had been praying prior to making this realization about him for my eyes to be opened to anything that needed my attention, and suddenly I could see not my husband’s love for me, but his disdain. He never hit me but was psychologically abusive. (He did tell me how he would murder me and get rid of my body so that it would never be found once I outed him. The mental abuse is far worse than the physical abuse. (My former husband was also a narc, and an abuser). Pathological narcissists are a cluster B personality disorder and it will not change. It is who the person is. He gaslit me, demeaned me, controlled me, constantly picked fights with me and then would blame me for the fight, lied and even brainwashed me. He told me daily what I thought and how wonderful he was and that I was so lucky to be married to him. I am thankful to be delivered from this situation and God made it happen. So many things fell into line, even my husband allowing me out of his presence for more that an hour. I used to feel bad and guilty for leaving but kept asking myself, would Jesus be ok with how my husband treated me and the answer was NO.

Mike – Scriptural question about Matthew 12.3. I once heard someone say that Jesus mentioning David eating Showbread, is not necessarily Jesus approving it – some have suggested that his point is only “Look what David did – why do you question me and not question that?” In other words, exposing their unfair bias against him and giving them something to think about. Not saying I agree with this – but thought it was an interesting take and is enough for me to question if I am making an assumption when I say he was approving David’s behavior. Would be curious to hear your response if you have the time! Thanks bro for this article! I think your points stand regardless of Matthew 12.3

Mr mike winger thank you for sharing your knowledge about the words of god. my husband likes your bibble teaching, and I agree. I am now perusal this and trying to understand this teaching, my husband and I been married for 6 years. he is wonderful and God fearing man, and faithful. Lately I have trouble behaving well toward my husband when I get upset and had fights with him, I didn’t talk for hours or if I did it will not be good. And ended up mention the divorce. I just felt so guilty of my bad attitude and I’m so sorry for all I say. I love my husband and I wanted to honor him. Does my bad attitude and bad words I say will it qualify to an abusive relationship? Thank you Mr. Winger. God bless you and your website. Please pray for me and my marriage.

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. – Proverbs 6 That is an answer to someone who simply states that “God hates divorce.”

Forget about the Churches and such… I always always always tell people that are getting their lives together… Walking away from an abusive situation is potentially paramount to be able to successfully redirect your own life and such. Hello there Christian, what is the only unforgivable “sin”? It’s not divorcing out of an abusive situation.

I have started and stopped commenting a half dozen times. As a man, every time I start I feel like everyone will think I’m lying if I say I was emotionally abused but my wife left me. Last conversation we had she listed all of the wonderful qualities I had and said she doesn’t know why she treats me the way she does, then left and says she wants a divorce.