Which Years Of Marriage Are The Hardest?

The hardest years of marriage are often associated with the “7-year itch,” which suggests that most marriages end in divorce after seven years. However, this belief is unproven and supported by data. The median duration of first marriage is around 10 years, and the hardest year occurs around your 10th anniversary. A study by Brigham Young University found that around 40.7% of European marriages end in divorce within less than 10 years.

The happiest year is the 3rd year, when couples accept each other’s flaws and start a family. The hardest years are the 5th and 7th years, where couples find themselves at a crossroads, balancing career growth and family responsibilities. This period often brings new challenges as roles evolve and expectations increase.

To help couples navigate the hardest years of marriage, open communication is crucial. Couples should work together as a team to find solutions and stick through the ups and downs. The hardest years of marriage are the first, third, fifth, and seventh or eighth years. Lack of communication and unrealistic expectations are the ultimate relationship killers, but finding solutions and sticking through the ups and downs will strengthen the relationship.

In summary, the hardest years of marriage include the first year, the 7th year, exhaustion, boredom, financial struggles, and the 10th anniversary. Communication is key to maintaining a strong relationship during these challenging years.


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Why is the 7th year of marriage the hardest
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What year of marriage is the most difficult?

Years 1–2: Very Risky Researchers have discovered that divorce risk is highest in this phase, and the reasons include: In years 1–2, people discover what it means to live 24/7 with the person they fell in love with. They start wondering if their partner will stay the same as during courtship or change as time goes by.

Home People Also Ask What Years of Marriage are the Hardest?

  • Years 1–2: Very Risky
  • Years 3–4: Mild Risk
  • Years 5–8: Very Risky
  • Years 9–15: Low Risk
  • Years 15 and over: Low to Mild Risk

In 2019, a total of 2,015,603 marriages happened and 746,971 divorces were granted in America. That implies a divorce rate of about 37%. Statistics suggest that the average national length of an American marriage is 8.2 years.

Which years of marriage are the hardest reddit
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What year of marriage is the happiest?

It is also common that in the third year of family life a couple decides to have a baby. Consequently, their relationship becomes stronger. It is the third year of marriage that is believed to be the happiest.

Not all couples realize that effort from both partners isneeded infamily life. Inaccordance with this data, around 40.7% ofEuropean marriages end indivorce inless than 10years. Astudy bySlater and Gordon Lawyers identified which year ofmarriage isthe happiest and which isthe hardest.

WeatBright Side would like tohighlight the factors that can become reasons for divorce.

There isanopinion that love lives for only 3years. Then acouple breaks uportheir relationship becomes less ideal than before. Inreality, after 3years inarelationship, people are more inclined toaccept their partner’s weaknesses and, thus, feel more comfortable.

Stages of marriage breakdown
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Why is year 7 of marriage so hard?

Couples in the so-calledhoneymoon phase(defined as lasting two and a half years after getting hitched) reportvery high levels of satisfactionin their marriages, which either declines or stabilizes as the years add up. Of course, by the seven-year mark, partners are well past the honeymoon phase — and issues may have begun to arise.

“With added time, marital struggles can include issues like poor communication and listening skills, a lack of empathy and partners having unrealistic expectations of one another,” Dr. Borland explains. “Those issues can be created or compounded by the pressures of raising kids, dealing with finances and other issues, including facing differences in values and beliefs when it comes to culture, religion and politics.”

Symptoms of the seven-year itch. If youve started to feel dissatisfied or unfulfilled in your marriage, its important to look at the reasons and get to the root of the issues.

But what qualifies as feeling dissatisfied or unfulfilled in the first place? Dr. Borland says these feelings and behaviors may include:

2nd year of marriage hardest
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Why do most couples break up at 7 years?

What is the seven-year itch?. The seven-year itch is the idea that after seven years in a relationship, whether thats as a married couple or cohabitees, we start to become restless. Bored perhaps. Everything begins to feel a little bit mundane or routine. Anecdotally, its said were more likely to go our separate ways around this time. Perhaps more likely to resort to infidelity. For whatever reason, married life becomes less shiny and divorce rates are rumoured to peak.

But is there any truth behind this seven-year itch? Is it related to a biological urge – something genetic leftover from our forefathers, ensuring maximum procreation during our lifetime? Does it stem from a modern life where were often easily bored and distracted? Or is it just a random line drawn in the sand?

Is the seven-year itch a myth?. There have been plenty of studies in the last decade or so that have looked at exactly this, setting out to compare length of time together with the risk of divorce. Most studies show, unsurprisingly, that the risk of separation is low during the first months of being a married couple. One article published in 2014 by Duke University Press found that the risk increases up to the end of the fifth year of marriage, peaking at a maximum risk period followed by a decline over the next five years and beyond.

Best years of marriage
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What is the walkaway wife syndrome?

Sometimes, one spouse leaves the other in a seemingly abrupt manner. It leaves the other spouse reeling, and it may shock family and friends. Theres a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides its time to end it.

What is walkaway wife syndrome?. Although the term “walkaway wife syndrome” might make it sound like a spur-of-the-moment decision, the “walkaway” usually comes after a long period of unresolved conflict. The divorce that results is sometimes years in the making.

After unsuccessfully trying to get her spouse to deal with their relationship issues, the wife in this situation finally decides its futile. She has taken time to consider all her options and prepared herself mentally, emotionally, and financially to leave the marriage.

What year of marriage is divorce most common
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What are the most stressful years of marriage?

Year 7. The fabled 7-year itch may often be a source of humor among friends, but to those walking through it, its no joke. It may not be seven. For some couples, its year 5 or 6, and for others its 8. But around this time, couples, even those in obviously healthy relationships, often experience a kind of personal crisis where they start to question much of what theyd come to expect from their relationship.

Some reasons why number 7 becomes a struggle include:

Diminished Sex Life (Lack of Passion). Ah, those days of sex anytime, anywhere, at the drop of a hat were splendid, right? So, why dont they last? Of course, couples can find ways to keep their passion alive year after year. Yet, it is natural to experience a lull in attraction or sexual interest after several years.

Why is the first year of marriage the hardest
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What is the 7 7 7 rule for marriage?

Heres how the 777 Rule works: every seven days you go on a date, every seven weeks you go away for the night and every seven months the two of you head off on a romantic holiday. It might sound a tad prescriptive, and an à deux holiday almost twice a year could be one too many, but nevertheless we get the point. If you dont put inthe regular maintenance the wheels may come off and youll regret the ensuing car wreck.

Anyway, you dont need to be rebuilding a relationship to adopt the 777 Rule, you may just want to keep it ticking over, or you might care to apply it to other areas of your life.

Relationship maintenance. Every seven days you change out of your WFH uniform into something less loose and comfy. Every seven weeks you do something about your upper lip and toenails. Every seven months you book a table for two in the pub and make a note not to mention one of the seven banned topics. These will vary a bit but will generally include: why you listened to Porky Burlington about the mortgage and not Us; and why are we going to your third cousins wedding in Stornaway when we could have been staying with the Whatsits in Greece?

First year of marriage divorce rates
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What is the #1 divorce cause?

What is the No. 1 divorce cause?. Research shows lack of commitment is the No. 1 cause for couples to get divorced. A 2013 study in Couple and Family Psychology noted that 75% of participants said lack of commitment was a major driver of their divorce; in 94% of the couples surveyed, at least one person cited lack of commitment.

For some, the feelings of commitment decreased slowly over time, while others said their commitment plunged after an event in the marriage, like cheating. One participant said their lack of commitment stemmed from no longer feeling romantic toward their partner; another said their spouse no longer seemed committed to working on their marriage. The next most popular causes were infidelity and too much arguing.

Common causes of divorce. In my experience with thousands of people, here are the top reasons couples divorce (in no specific order, as this varies by state).

What is the #1 cause of divorce?
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What is the #1 cause of divorce?

Why People are Divorcing in the United States. 42. Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages:

  • Lack of commitment 73%
  • Argue too much 56%
  • Infidelity 55%
  • Married too young 46%
  • Unrealistic expectations 45%
  • Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
  • Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
  • Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%

(Respondents often cited more that one reason, therefore the percentages add up to much more than 100 percent)

What Makes People More or Less Likely to Divorce?. Your Age. 43. 48 percent of those who marry before the age of 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared to 25 percent of those who marry after the age of 25.

What is the 7 year itch in marriage?
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What is the 7 year itch in marriage?

The seven-year itch or 7-year itch refers to the notion that divorce rates reach their height around the seven-year mark of commitment. While this concept has been widely disputed, it is a concern that plagues many if they start experiencing marital issues seven years into their relationship.

The seven-year itch doesnt necessarily refer to a desire to divorce—it can refer to major relationship issues such as conflict, cheating, or irreparable differences. Issues like these may become illuminated during the seven-year itch.

While relationship challenges can be tough to navigate, it is possible to get through the seven-year itch.

Who initiates divorce more often?
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Who initiates divorce more often?

Throughout generations, a common stereotype has been that women are usually the one in a relationship who want to get married. Whether accepted or not, there is one fact that cannot be disputed. And that is that women initiate divorce more often than men on average.

Numerous studies have shown this. In fact, nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women. This is according to a 2015 research study conducted by the American Sociological Association (ASA) which suggests two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. Among college-educated women, this number jumps up to 90%.

Well, it basically comes down to three main factors. Here are the 3 reasons why women initiate divorce more often than men on average:

1 – Women are more likely to feel held back by the marriage.. The fact is that today, women are working more than they ever have and make up a little over half of the workforce in the United States. However, in many marriages women are still seen as primarily responsible for domestic duties. Despite having more on their plates with their careers.

What year of marriage is divorce most common?
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What year of marriage is divorce most common?

While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.

The factors behind a divorce vary widely during these high-risk years, but the data seems to corroborate the notion of the “seven year itch.” Popularized by the 1955 movie with Marilyn Monroe, the idea is that men and women experience a declining interest in a monogamous relationship after seven years of marriage.

The validity of the seven year itch is certainly up for debate, but its an interesting psychological theory backed by real data. The median duration of first marriages that end in divorce is just under 8 years, while the median duration of second marriages that end in divorce is around 7 years.


📹 The Hardest Part of Being Married

What’s the hardest part of being married? “The Real” ladies and special guest host Towanda Braxton share their married life …


Which Years Of Marriage Are The Hardest
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21 comments

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  • ive been married for 4 years and it has been so smooth, so fun, so easy! we dated for a very long time and we only decided to get married when we were absolutely sure about it. i am now pregnant, so i am looking forward to seeing how we deal with raising a child. my husband is the most patient and attentive man and he has not changed in all the time we’ve been together.

  • I feel like they could have expanded a lot on this topic, I wanted to hear their views on what sacrifices they made for their marriage and how it turned out (like housing, family other than kids), what problems they dealt with like unsupportive family members or deciding whether to persue an unstable career or choosing the safety option, if you would move cross country or an entirely different continent for your spouse, situations when your spouse is ill…😕

  • While you have the time to fix ur “situations” in a relationship BEFORE you get married, it will definitely make u realize that some of the things you argued about while u were bf & gf were not as important, UNTIL you are married! Which is what Towanda was saying the situation will MAGNIFY 10X more than it was before u were married

  • this ”tamera is always talking about her motherhood” hate agenda is starting to bug me. Since the beginning of the show, tamera was always talking about her family and her husband. Why y’all starting to hate on her right now ? am i tripping or y’all need a new target, now that they fired tamar for the same exact reason that most of you used to complain about .. smh

  • I would love if the new person they bring has like two or three kids and that is a go-getter and not constantly making her life(kids) excuse on why they can’t, don’t or won’t do something like tamera…just so she can see kids don’t stop your life shhesh..I know she didn’t actual say they do but this whole season it was having two kids for her was being a single mom working two jobs and living in a box…that harddd!!

  • I find these topics frustrating… Someone might not be single by choice but getting married definitely is a choice! I feel like all they do at the moment is go on about married life, how hard it is, how hard it is having kids etc. How about being grateful you’ve got someone to come home to and and someone to support you?

  • I love Tamara and I don’t have a problem with her talking about her family. But it is starting to become a bit much. This clip is fine because they are talking about families. But she finds any reason to bring them in. This talk show talks about a lot of stuff not just families. Girls- did you know tacos can be good for you. Tamara- I can’t eat tacos I got kids. That’s her answer for everything.

  • When loni said “waking up to the same man everyday.” I just was appalled. In fact i said “and waking up to a different man everyday is better?” Im not a judge, but i think a-lot of her confidence is a front. I secretly think Loni covers up the fact that she hates being alone by saying she gets with different guys. If anything, i think that can make a person lonely and unhappy. Whats so bad about committing to one person who knows the good, the bad and the ugly about you? Loni says she’s been married once and it didn’t work out. But she hasn’t given it another chance with another person. No two people are the same. You can’t just make a sound judgement on something like marriage just cause of one disappointing and bad relationship. And she’s a hilarious touch to the show, no doubt, but I think Loni is the furthest one from being “real” with herself and others. Just from an outsiders point of view, and don’t take this as scripture, this is just my opinion: I think she lies. I honestly think Loni makes up stories and stuff just to be funny. Some may be real, but after binge perusal alot of segments i just can’t help but think that Loni lies at times with her stories.

  • I really do think that Loni wants to be married and possibly have kids but she’s maybe afraid of something and that’s why she stays “satisfied and single” or whatever she says. It just seems that whenever people talk about marriage and kids or relationships she makes a smart comment or little dig almost like she’s jealous. I could be wrong but it’s just an observation.

  • I agree with tamera the hardest part of being married is when u have kids is why me and the husband choose not to have any besides he’s 45 and i am nearly 37 don’t think ill have the energy for them but that’s okay with us 🙂 having kids is not a necessity for us but least he has a 15 yr old daughter from a previous relationship so i don’t feel the pressure to have one 🙂 good enough for us

  • Not everyone cheats. That’s Tamar’s and Towanada’s mums bad attitude and brainwashing that unfortunately gets passed down to her kids. Just because they chose the wrong men, all her daughters . I like Vince tho, he is a solid guy, does not mean we tarnish all men. A lot of men do not cheat. It’s just highlighted more on American TV. I hate that bad attitude Tamar’s mum has given her daughters, my dad always says, women are most like their mama’s. So right here. Ms Evelyn Braxton is too much and hence her daughters are too dramatic

  • Loni just because you failed at marriage please don’t ruin it for everyone, Adrienne please wait for the right one- be patient, when you stop thinking about it it will come to, Tamera and Jeannie give me life-their wisdom about marriage is so astonishing considering they have been married less than 10 years,

  • Since they are initiating this whole panel change with Tamar, might as well include Tamera and Loni and bring in people who will actually contribute to the topics. I feel like Loni has been so tired and over the show in general lately; she always has that tired expression on her face, like she can’t wait to just go home, take her wig and shoes off and enjoy some bacon and quietness. Tamera, we get it, your a mom, and you’re not at fault, but if all you can talk about is your kids, maybe you should be a stay-at-home mom and physically be with them. I’m glad Keke Palmer is going to replace Tamar because Keke is a fresh and has a welcoming and empathetic personality.

  • I would been right there with Loni, i have no comment cause its not relevant to me. But when we talk about something else, some way or another the moms and wifes make it about their life and their kids. I can understand where Lonis coming from, I have 6 sisters and they all have kids and when we are all together it dominates 99.99% of the conversation, my ears would bleed if I have to listen to other people talk about their kids hours at a time.

  • Being married isn’t hard. Living with your boyfriend/husband is the hard part. If you have two couples, one married and the other unmarried, talking about their relationship…they would have so much in common. Despite one couple signing papers and exchanging a piece of jewelry and the other couple didn’t.

  • Loni never has anything insightful to say. I understand she’s single and wants to carry out her life that way but she doesn’t have to mock the other ladies for caring about their relationships and being excited about love. Every time they talk about a serious subject she never contributes anything to the segment. I guess her role is to show that some peoples “real” is that they are void and have nothing of substance to say. It would just be nice if she wasn’t so gaurded, I mean it is the real. She just doesn’t come off as ever being genuine when it’s time to be. I just dont see how she fits in with the premise of the show. it’s called The Real for a reason.

  • Loni is starting to get annoying. It’s either she’s talking about bacon, brown liquor, or how’s she’s single. Look at Adrienne she’s single with no kids too. And she still tries to engage in the girl chat! And when you ask Loni a question she never responds directly. I think she’s there just to be there.

  • If we took sex outta the equation of singleness trust me would anyone stay single ? Most of us Christian believe and it is written that sex is for marriage so that’s the major reason aside from of course love compatibility etc that ppl Christian based like Tamera and myself get married now u don’t marry for sex but since it’s permitted in marriage as per our beliefs it’s why we’re more inclined to not be single

  • I feel sorry for Loni she is not married and she doesn’t have any kids she brags all the time she sleeps with men that shows that she’s has commitment issues now I am not saying that you should get married or have kids I am saying that she keeps on saying that she sleeps around with all these men and doesn’t take relationships serious for feel really sorry for her.

  • Loni doesn’t really contribute to the panel imo! Loni lowkey sad & lonely af. I feel like she tries too hard to hide the fact that she’s unhappy being single with all these stories about how much “sex” she be getting! Please direct me to the list of guys who she speaks of!!! No shaaaade, maybe a little. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

  • I’m single and don’t have children, I honestly never had a problem with Tamera speaking about her children, i in fact want to know what she has to say about married life and children so i can learn before taking that step …. that’s what’s she’s proud of but if you don’t like it then, what do u want her to do about it ? .. can she live ?