Lobola, a custom in Southern Africa, involves a prospective husband or head of his family paying a bride’s family property to ensure a union between two tribes. This practice is also known as “the Customary Law of Marriage” (South Africa; Act 120 Justice Department 2000), which permits the husband to marry up to four people. The act of gifting each other cows is a symbol of kinship that may transcend generations. Lobola can often prove to be taxing on a couple’s finances, as dowry is a cow or a set of things given to the bride’s family by the groom.
The practice of paying lobola is considered an important part of the marriage, as it pays respect towards a tradition and the future of the new family. In many traditional marriages, a man must pay a bride’s father so that he can marry her. Many traditional marriages utilize a cash-based lobolo, which can then be followed by a European-style wedding ceremony, where the lobolo funds are used to pay the bride’s family.
In Zulu culture, lobola is a bride price, traditionally paid in cattle. The average price of a cow in South Africa is R12000 ($832). Negotiations usually involve honoring the woman’s family for their efforts in raising her. However, inflation or abuse can occur when a man pays in cash for a new wife, leading to inflation or abuse.
📹 On Our Wedding Anniversary, My Wife Brought Another Man into Our Room Behind My Back
On Our Wedding Anniversary, My Wife Brought Another Man into Our Room Behind My Back.
What is the dowry of cows?
In many African cultures, the dowry is a key part of marriage. The Southern African Zulu tribe calls it Lobola, the Igbo tribe of West Africa calls it Ikpo Onu aku Nwayi, and in the East African state of Tanzania it is referred to as Mahari. In many sub-Saharan countries, the practice of bride price came from an agricultural and cattle-based economy. Wealth and status were shown by how big your family was and how much livestock you owned. A wedding meant losing a daughter to the family, so losing someone to work and look after younger children. A young man would give the bride’s family gifts of livestock to replace workers and provide food. Cows and goats are still typical gifts. Nowadays, it’s money. As an African girl raised in Britain and having friends who have had a similar upbringing in the diaspora, it seems like the dowry or bride price is becoming a strange concept. People think it’s a bad practice. Women are often treated badly by their husbands because they paid for them. Today, many don’t know that bride price also protected women from divorce. If a man mistreated his wife, he would have to pay more money. He wouldn’t get a divorce because it would cost him. The bride price is still relevant for people like me. I’m not saying we should go back to a system where my value to my future husband is based on how many cows he can afford. If my future husband gave my father a cow, I doubt he’d be able to keep it or use it in Birmingham. The bride price symbolism makes me think we should add bride price elements to modern marriage in the diaspora. In my culture, a man has to pay to marry a woman. The process is not one big event. It is a series of stages to thank the family for raising the daughter. These include the payment of the “mbereko” blanket and “majasi” to the parents of the bride for their wedding clothes. The bride’s siblings also get money. In some places in Africa, the groom gives gifts to the bride’s family. These gifts include palm wine, blankets, beer, and pots. These gifts show honor to the bride’s family while the groom shows he can provide for his wife and future family.
What is the highest lobola paid?
What is lobola? Lobola costs vary a lot depending on your culture and where you live. The price of lobola in South Africa can range from R10,000 to R100,000, and even up to R400,000! I spoke to men who had recently paid lobola or were in the process of doing so to understand the general guidelines and cultural and provincial differences, as well as advice on saving and investing for this important milestone. Let’s get to it.
Factors that affect the cost of lobola. Location and province affect lobola cost. Urban areas ask for more money than rural regions.
What are the disadvantages of paying lobola?
Extortion and Excess. Lobola had a deeper significance than just acquiring cattle and other material things. Today, things are very different. Daughters are seen as a way to make money, and parents can charge a lot for them. People are speaking out against lobola because of the consequences. They say that paying a lot for lobola is unfair in Africa’s tough economy. A groom may get into debt to marry his love, which could hurt their marriage. Another reason lobola is bad is that it delays marriage. A man knows it will take years to get a wife, so he has sex before marriage. The institution had a deeper significance than just getting material things. The most common argument against lobola is from feminist voices, who say it is the purchase and sale of women. They say the whole practice is wrong because it shows that women are seen as property. They say wives are treated like property. If a bride is barren, her sister may have a child to help her. This is because lobola requires benefits. A husband may be unhappy with his wife because of how his in-laws treated him regarding lobola, which makes marriage less successful.
Why is lobola unnecessary?
Extortion and Excess. Lobola had a deeper significance than just acquiring cattle and other material things. Today, things are very different. Daughters are seen as a way to make money, and parents can charge a lot for them. People are speaking out against lobola because of the consequences. They say that paying a lot for lobola is unfair in Africa’s tough economy. A groom may get into debt to marry his love, which could hurt their marriage. Another reason lobola is bad is that it delays marriage. A man knows it will take years to get a wife, so he has sex before marriage. The institution had a deeper significance than just getting material things. The most common argument against lobola is from feminist voices, who say it is the purchase and sale of women. They say the whole practice is wrong because it shows that women are seen as property. They say wives are treated like property. If a bride is barren, her sister may have a child to help her. This is because lobola requires benefits. A husband may be unhappy with his wife because of how his in-laws treated him regarding lobola, which makes marriage less successful.
What animals are used for dowry?
In South Africa, it’s still common to give a cow or goat on your wedding day. This goes back to the Zulu practice of lobola, where the groom’s family usually gives cattle. In modern South Africa, goats and cows are mostly replaced by cash. But in rural areas, a wedding goat is not unusual.
Chinese 88. At New Year, Chinese people often give each other money. In the West, money is seen as a boring gift. In China, it’s often the default option. Cash is put into a red envelope and given away. The amount of money given is important. It’s not just about the amount, but also the digits. Six is lucky because it sounds like “to flow.” Eight is even luckier. In both Mandarin and Cantonese, the word for eight sounds like “prosper.” The double eight looks like the character 囍, which means double happiness.
What happens if you don’t pay lobola?
Lobola negotiations are part of a valid customary marriage. The fact that the lobola has not been paid does not mean the marriage does not exist. Your father was married to your mother even if he didn’t pay the lobola. A customary marriage can only be dissolved by divorce. This divorce order must be granted in court. A separation doesn’t mean your parents are divorced. A person in a customary marriage can’t marry someone else in a civil marriage. Your father’s second marriage was not valid because he hadn’t divorced your mother.
What is the purpose of paying the lobola?
Introduction In some African countries, such as South Africa, Botswana, Zambia, D.R. Congo, Zimbabwe, Swaziland, and Lesotho, the tradition of paying lobola, or a bride price, is common. The custom of paying lobola is to seal the relationship between the couple and their families. The lobola shows that the man can take care of a family and is a thank you to the bride’s family for raising a good woman. The lobola ceremony is a negotiation between two families to agree on the price.
In the past, cattle were used to pay lobola. Nowadays, the payment can be in money or cattle. For example, city families might not have the space to receive cattle. The number of cattle or their value is decided before the ceremony. It depends on the bride’s background, education, and social position. The tradition must be followed, no matter what the couple’s education or family’s finances are. Even if the groom and bride don’t belong to the same tribe, the lobola custom still applies. He must follow the bride’s culture so her family and community will recognize the marriage. The lobola ceremony varies from region to region and tribe to tribe, but it must follow strict rules. Close relatives or family representatives like maternal uncles and paternal aunts take part in the negotiations, but the father and/or older men usually do the talking. When the groom meets the bride’s family, the lobola price is set by the groom’s family. The lobola is given at the lobola ceremony. The couple isn’t involved in the process, but they might be involved behind the scenes. The bride or groom can influence the negotiations through their families. The couple must wait until the lobola ceremony to have sex. This is the traditional wedding.
Is lobola still important?
I-lobola is a cultural practice in South Africa and other African countries. However, over the past few decades, i-lobola has changed. It is no longer about uniting families, but about money.
Why is lobola so expensive?
Lobola is a tradition where a man pays the family of his fiancée for her hand in marriage. In the past, a man would pay more for a virgin and less for a woman who had a child out of wedlock. Today, prices are based on how well-mannered and educated the bride is. The more educated she is, the more the lobola will cost. Other factors include the wealth and status of the family the groom wants to marry into. A woman from a royal family would cost more than one from an ordinary family. However, royal lobola and marriage are often arranged without the couple’s input. Traditionally, lobola was eight cattle, but now each head is part of the negotiation. Lobola prices range from R25,000 to R100,000. The bride’s family decides what they think their daughter is worth. Lobola is about building family relationships. Marriage is seen as more than just a union between two people. The relationship lasts a lifetime, even after the groom dies. The widow is then tied to the groom’s family, especially if they have children.
There can be a downside. This process can be wrongly used and can cause pain and separation. In Xhosa culture, negotiations are usually handled by male family members, not women. Lobola is a gift to the bride’s parents for raising her. It’s not about making money.
What is the difference between lobola and marriage?
This is how the indigenous people do it. Lobola is part of the marriage process under customary law, not a marriage itself.
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I was not shocked by some of the Indian cultures. I’m amazed that their marriage practices are the same as the Chinese culture in olden times. Wonderful documentation. I just visited the Taj Mahal and air quality was very poor and the temperatures too. Thanks for insight to India. Take care and thank everyone who made this wonderful article.