Marriage is often considered an outdated institution due to its historical roots in property exchange and social contracts between families. It has evolved from a purely economic institution to a social, cultural, and theoretical joining of soulmates. Some argue that marriage is an outmoded institution built on patriarchal inequality and has no place in modern society. However, there are good reasons to believe the institution isn’t going anywhere.
Delayed adolescence is another factor contributing to the decline of marriage. For centuries, marriage was an essential step on the road to full adulthood in Western countries. In pre-industrial England, single women, no matter their age, were given the right to marry. A new Thriving Center of Psychology survey found a shift in marriage expectations among Gen Z and millennials, with two in five young adults thinking marriage is an outdated tradition.
Marriage is a bond between two people, and it has always been and still is a challenge. Both individuals carry an enormous amount of responsibility in a marriage. Entrepreneurship research increasingly acknowledges marriage as an important resource for long-term commitment to entrepreneurial ventures. Family scholars emphasize the deinstitutionalization of marriage in many countries, meaning that marriage as formalized and long-term companionship has lost importance.
Marriage is seen as promoting outdated ideals that society no longer holds and is itself an outdated institution. People are too quick in divorcing when there is a reason to marry. However, marriage is vitally needed and is not out of date.
📹 Is marriage an outdated institution? | Dr. John Gottman
Why even be married at all? Dr. Gottman explains his thinking on the topic, from an interview with KCTS 9, Seattle’s PBS station.
Is the institution of marriage still relevant today?
Today, marriage has been transformed. It’s now based on equality. Women can easily leave their marriages.
Note: This article is an edited version of the transcript for the video, “Is Marriage Dying?” by Richard Reeves with Big Think. It has been published here with permission. Marriage has declined in recent decades. But there’s more to the story behind the decline. People are getting married for different reasons. But marriage is also dividing, especially by class. To understand marriage patterns, we must understand why people get married. There are five main reasons to marry: God, money, love, pregnancy, or status:
Why is marriage not as popular?
Why are fewer people getting married? Two main reasons: people wait longer to get married, and many don’t feel the need to. Age affects marriage. Recent statistics show that fewer people are getting divorced. In the three months since the new “no-fault” divorce law took effect on April 6, 2022, the courts received 24,624 divorce applications. This is a 30% drop from last year.
The fewer divorces may be linked to fewer marriages. Marriage rates have been falling for 40 years. In 2019, only 213,000 heterosexual couples married. This is down by more than 50% since 1972. There are two main reasons: many people wait to get married, and many more don’t feel the need to.
Is marriage a dying institution?
Fewer couples are getting married. Year after year, more and more couples who marry are becoming a unique group compared to their peers. A recently published study suggests that marriage is becoming a status tied to a dwindling religious subpopulation in the United States. While some may feel apathetic about the death of an institution, there are many reasons to be concerned about these trends.
Most places in the world have fewer married people. One good example is the number of marriages each year. The annual marriage rate is helpful because it adjusts for population size. But the raw number of marriages is more illuminating in this case. This is because more people means more marriages. The more people, the more marriages, even if the actual marriage rate is decreasing. This is why the marriage rate is often a good way to understand trends in behavior. But when you look at the number of marriages in the U.S., you see a clear pattern. The number of marriages has been dropping for 20 years despite population growth. While the economy improved after the Great Recession, the number of marriages has been dropping. This has been accelerating in recent years (Figure 1). Experts say that changes in younger generations’ behavior and attitudes are the main reason for this decline. Young adults still value marriage, but fewer of them are actually getting married. I call this the marriage paradox. Young adults started to avoid marriage around the turn of the millennium, even though they still wanted to get married. Further research shows that many young adults value marriage but prioritize education and other goals more than long-term marriage. While many adults are still getting married, fewer and fewer people are choosing to do so. New research shows that more and more adults who marry are religious.
Is marriage becoming a thing of the past?
In a 1978 poll, 28% of Americans said marriage was becoming obsolete. This is because divorce rates were at their highest in the 1970s. The divorce rate has gone down since then. People are getting married more than Justin Timberlake did after he left NSYNC. A poll found that only 40% of Americans think marriage is obsolete, 70% have tried it at least once, and 5% of Americans under 30 don’t want to get married. My niece is in the minority on this one. Although fewer people are getting married, those who do are more likely to stay married. What’s changed? Know yourself before you get married. In the past, people got married for money and to fit in. Marriage made you a normal citizen. People are getting married later these days. They plan their lives before getting married. People are figuring out who they are and what they want before they get married. They get married to enjoy life with someone else, not just to survive. People don’t feel as much pressure to get married right away if they don’t find the right person. You can take your time to get ready.
Why is marriage so unsuccessful?
Lack of commitment, money problems, and infidelity cause many divorces. But your age and culture can change it all. To stay together, couples need to communicate, be intimate, and show empathy. The main reasons for divorce change over time and vary by country. This is often because of cultural beliefs and practices.
In Denmark, a 2019 study found that the top reasons for divorce in that nation included:
Lack of love and intimacy; communication problems; lack of sympathy, trust, and respect; growing apart because of different interests and activities.
Why is the institution of marriage failing?
We often forget to say I love you to our partners after marriage! We take them for granted and slowly the affection we once showered on our partners diminishes, and this is a leading cause of divorce. According to a 2020 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, in a survey of 2,371 divorcees, nearly half blamed lack of love and intimacy. Being emotionally unavailable is a valid reason for divorce.
Why is the concept of marriage outdated?
The concept of marriage is often considered outdated by some due to its historical roots in property exchange and social contracts between families. Marriage was originally a transactional arrangement in many cultures, often devoid of romantic love.
Is the idea of marriage outdated?
The concept of marriage is often considered outdated by some due to its historical roots in property exchange and social contracts between families. Marriage was originally a transactional arrangement in many cultures, often devoid of romantic love.
Why is marriage no longer important?
The researchers found that more and more women are choosing not to get married for many reasons, including infidelity, career opportunities, independence, and security.
“Marriage has mostly not been good for women historically, and they’re trying to find other solutions. As new opportunities open up for women, they’re choosing to be full people without marriage,” Hannaford said. Some women in Barbados, a small Caribbean country, did not remarry after divorcing their husbands, despite pressure from society and their peers. For years, anthropologist Carla Freeman studied Black families in the country. These families are mostly led by mothers, and many of these mothers are unmarried.
Is marriage becoming old fashioned?
Compared to other groups, more young adults view marriage as old-fashioned and out-of-date, although more than half agree the institution makes families and children better off.
Haley and Brookston Jeppson, 29 and 27 respectively, have a son, 2, and are expecting a daughter in late November. She’s put her master’s degree in math education to work owning a small virtual math tutoring company. He’s currently in school full time.
They fall into the age group most apt to believe marriage is old-fashioned or not needed for a family to flourish. But that’s not their view.
“I think there’s a level of commitment that comes with marriage that isn’t there with cohabitation,” Haley Jeppson said. “I also think that kids’ happiness and health and security comes a lot from the quality of the parents’ relationship.”
Is marriage still worthwhile in today’s society?
Marriage can be a wonderful institution, leading to a happy family across generations if handled right. When both partners are committed to a thriving marriage, it has a fair chance of survival. However, both divorce rates and remarriage rates are bound to go up. So will live-in relationships and single parents. Perhaps it is also time for society to legalize commercial sex and regulate it effectively. In an increasingly complex and busy modern society, different models need to coexist.
The views expressed in this article are the authors own and do not necessarily reflect Fair Observers editorial policy.
Why do people think marriage is outdated?
Why is marriage old-fashioned? Some think marriage is outdated because it was based on property and social contracts. Many cultures saw marriage as a business deal, not a romantic love story.
📹 “Marriage Is Outdated” – According to 40% of Young Adults Surveyed
In this short clip, PBD, Dave Smith, Ricky Aguilar, Adam, and Matt discuss why 40% of young adults surveyed are saying Marriage …
Divorced dad here: Marriage is skewed for women. I don’t wish any dads to experience Divorce. Will never get married again, even if it was to Ana de Armas. Divorce is War. I was threatened to never see my toddler again (no criminal history), but I was fortunate to win primary custody after a 3 year court battle & attended their college graduation.
Marriage isn’t outdated, the government involvement in it is. Like with everything the get their claws into, just more and more regulations, more cost, more interference. I looked it up the big intervention began during ww1 to shore up population by encouraging people to get married and have children with tax breaks. It always starts small, fast toward to today and the ten richest women in the world are all divorcés of billionaires.
The bottom line is this: society is currently at its peak level of narcissism. If you’re a narcissist, you’re not capable of being in a functional marriage let alone a functioning monogamous relationship because to have that you have to put your partner’s needs ahead of your own. Today, everything is about immediate gratification and what can I get out of this person instead of finding a good person and growing together as a couple through the ups and downs of life. That’s why our grandparents marriages lasted until one of them died because it takes character and respect for your spouse to hang in there with them when things aren’t great, instead of being selfish and bailing. And no intelligent man wants to commit to someone who will bail on him when things get tough, divorce him and take half of his assets, and basically hold his children hostage so he becomes a stranger to them.
I got married during CV lockdown, I had to wait almost 60 days to get a marriage license. My husband and I wanted to keep costs down, so we planned on a civil wedding, the calendar was booked for 60 days, so had to have someone who could officiate at our home for $300. Got a pretty wedding dress online for $65, ring at Amazon for $30 for me and $25 for my spouse. I picked up a cake at the bakery for $30, celebrated with 1 bottle of Champagne + 2 bottles of non alcoholic sparkling cider. Total cost was less than $700. Due to the health crisis, we didn’t honeymoon until it was over. But one doesn’t need to spend a lot to get married, celebrated with a few friends, had our dogs with us.
Taking care of my daughter has given me far more fulfillment and purpose than anything feminism pushed me to pursue. My husband is incredible and allows me to stay home with her while he works overtime hours, so of course I handle everything at home. Our marriage is amazing ❤️ And we both came from homes with divorce, but refuse to go down that road
I, a female, was raised by a single father. My siblings, from my mother’s other marriage, were raised by her alone. One sibling has passed from an overdose, the other 2 are unfortunately not long for this world due to the same drug choices. Our mother wanted to be their friend and my father set so many rules and boundaries for me. Praise God, my husband and children have a mother who wants nothing more then to provide a loving home.
Its not that young people are opposed to marriage. This would be the 2nd generation of single parent households. The kids today saw their parents divorce and saw the results and do not want that. Women being modern and wanting a traditional man. But those same women are not traditional. Young men see that they have to work 10x harder than their grandfathers for a mediocre woman with no life skills other than a college degree. Lifetime Alimony, Child support laws, family court, divorce courts are stacked against men. PBD knows you don’t sign a contract that only benefits only one party. My parents met each other with nothing and built it up. My last relationship, she lost her job when we met and I was there for her. A year later I lost my job and she bailed on me. She chose partying with her friends, drinking, and not be there for my hard times. But I was dumb to be there when she was going through her bad times. Men like me who are 41 with no kids and never been married. If I chose a younger woman I get labeled a craddle robber. Women my age are the ones that skipped me over for the bad boy who left them, divorced, bitter with baggage. I was taught by my parents work hard, be honorable, be faithful, be respectul, don’t bring shame, and etc and women say they want that but always tell me “You would make a great husband..(to someone else)” or “You would make a great father…..(For someone else)” I focus on me, keep to my lane and keep it going. I want marriage, kids and a wife.
I’m 57 years old, never married and no kids. I believe in marriage and family but I also believe it’s not for everyone. When I was growing up there were older people in my neighborhood who never married or had kids. My parents who thank God were married 60 years both had cousins in their families who never married or had kids it wasn’t seen as weird they just seen as people who never married or had kids end of story. Also in my case I was able to be my Dad’s full time caregiver when he was in his last days as my Mom had passed away 6 years earlier. I was thanking God I was single with no kids cause I knew I couldn’t attend to him the way I was able if I had my own wife and family to provide for as well. I do find this report disturbing cause again I believe marriage to be a Sacrament and children a blessing and to avoid these things out of selfishness is one thing but don’t fall into the trap of saying a single life is a wasted life no matter what. If you’re an older single person with no kids and will most likely stay that way then busy yourself doing good works.
The issue is economic. The average single man has to struggle to provide for two. And a woman wants a man who will provide as well or better than her father. Instead of figuring out why the system is broke, men and women embrace coping mechanisms. Women go to work, get abortions, champion queer bonding. Men turn to monetary sexual relationships, porn, and materialism. We are growing decadent because the financial system is concentrating wealth into Liberal Oligarchs that make idols of worship out of coping strategies. These Liberal Oligarchs pour money into feminism, transgenderism, abortion bc it means the people stay too divided and dependent to break up the Oligarchy.
I’m in a relationship. We plan on having kids together. I plan on spending my life with her. We are both disabled veterans. I see literally no reason (aside from taxes) to involve the government in my relationship. You can have a ceremony, you can have a reception, you can legally change your last name; all without applying for a marriage license. Just think about that concept for a minute, too. The government wants me to be licensed for marriage. Like it’s a privilege that I have to ask permission for from the government to do; similar to a drivers license. No thank you. I’ll gladly live together with her, have kids with her, and call her my wife, and all without involving Uncle Sam.
I’ve been through family court and believe me as a man it is BRUTAL!!! And I ended up winning and raising our daughter and another foster daughter as a single father. Cost me a small fortune not to even mention one judge threatening me with jail time because I refused to take our daughter back to a totally biased female psychologist that had to do the family assessment. Besides the family law system is 99% women that is very anti men. I’m a Big Believer in marriage but I’d advise to think long and deep on it. Even just moving in together because in most western countries after living together a certain time you’re regarded as to be in a common law “marriage”. But at least I could keep my daughters safe. I’ll do it again in a heartbeat!!!
Marriage, like work, is a humble institution. It cannot support the weight of modern expectations How realistic is it to demand your spouse to be, and not limited to: • best friend • lover • coach • cheerleader • therapist And so on You wouldn’t expect your job or career to have the best of everything. It’s purpose can only serve and go so far. No less with marriage Marriage isn’t overrated. We place too much expectations on it and the person to be all things at all times Your spouse is one person. Not several wrapped up into one. Imagine having those demands placed on your shoulders So one answer may be setting realistic expectations from the start and discerning whether this person is someone you want to “hire” for your “company” for the appropriate role
People forget the one advantage of getting married and having kids is having someone to take care of you when you’re old and can no longer do it yourself (assuming your kids still love you). I can see why people don’t want to get married now to avoid the headache but when you’re on your deathbed with no one around, that’s a tough pill to swallow. But I know we all like to live in the now.
Parents owe their children protection. Its the most real thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life when my kid was born. The love is there and the most intense love I’ve ever felt. The sense of protection she gave me is a sense of power I’ve always longed for. The power of the Father. God. In that moment I knew what it was all about. The true essence of a leader. Based in love and encouragement. That my blood before me will succeed.
A point made in one of Jordan Peterson’s books, divorce rates are much lower compared to rates of dating breakups. However, divorces get reported because it involves the legal system. People don’t want responsibility these days, they want to hit it and quit it. The more you explore, the more time you waste. At some point, you’ll have to find someone with humble qualities and settle with them. Stop going for the body type, focus first on their hearts. Guarantee, divorce rates will drop.
28 and divorced once. Dated for 2 years and married for 3. She was super narcissistic, always talking about “I don’t need no man” but nearly everything we had I provided. Out of LOVE I provided all that. Just to get literally used, abused and cheated on multiple times. Guess who lost everything, EVERYTHING and amounted a ton of debt? I did of course. All while she got away with everything she ever did and moved in with the man she was cheating on me for while still married…but she said she didn’t need no man? That only lasted a month and she vanished into the sunset evading divorce. I want a family, I want to be married again I really do. But I’m terrified in todays time to ever go there again. I want to so badly, but all of that still lingers. The dating pool is so disgusting these days and worries me even more. I was raised on old traditions and I still hood those values…but not really finding anyone with the same…
I feel blessed to live in a country where people still take religion seriously. I’m still single, but all my 8 siblings never divorce or sleeping around. Never seen/heard any of them have big/serious fight with their spouse that threaten the family union except one. But even they decided to stay together for the kids. They were glad they did that. Same goes for my parents. Never had any serious fight as far as I remember. It ls only recently I realize how much of a blessing growing in such family. As result my nieces and nephews grew up with healthy perception of a family. The grown up ones amongst them all plan to marry.
The promotion of self is outrageous these days. They created all these groups to identify with but none of them promote family, which leads to a stronger community and country. They get you to buy into a fantom dream, instead of doing what works. Building, consolidating and investing into the future of the next generation. We are probably too far gone at this point.
Shalom man of valour, Mr. Bet-David Sir and to the men of valour who were a part of this dialogue and many blessings to you all and to your beautiful wives and families. The reason why some young adults believe marriage is outdated is because they have not been taught the true construct of this covenant. The 85 percent who believe that people do not need to get married in order to have a fulfilling and committed relationship prove this point. Many of the young people today have been exposed to the kind of models and examples that do not carry any real definition. Because through social media, and through the world of entertainment marriage has been labeled as an antagonizing experience, especially for men. When in fact that is far from the truth. People who have had bad experiences with this sacred covenant, lacked the necessary information and knowledge that was needed for this intimate experience. And this is why dating is set up the way it is. Dating prepares the man and the woman for this experience. This is why dating should never be approached by a man or a woman as a casual experience. There is nothing casual or common about dating. Because dating is the training ground. This particular realm (dating) teaches the man and the woman what to expect in the sacred covenant of marriage. Dating also sheds light on the work that the man and the woman must do in order to build a healthy and substantial relationship together. Dating is the preparation. This particular work is intimate apart from sexual relations.
I never married because cheating is so prevalent and people forget those vows the second it gets really tough. When women make money they feel they don’t want the obligation and work of a marriage. Women don’t need to marry any more and I think most people feel they’ll likely be divorced one day so why bother going through the nightmare of it.
Unfortunately its true. Because of no-fault divorce laws there really is no such thing as a contract to bind two people together. Either party can walk away at any time for any reason they choose. No single man should ever enter into a marriage until he is familiar with the divorce laws in his state.
It’s not always about finding the next Brady. Women leave men because they want to be the prize and if the man takes us for granted.. it leads to contempt. She would be happier with someone who makes time for her and makes her feel valued. I chose my husband because he prioritizes me and our family, unlike the ambitious man who prioritizes his ego.
I’m from Quebec, I’m 54 and I have only two friends who are married, we have kids, live together, buy houses, we do it all, without being married. Some are together for 20+ years. If you go to the rest of Canada, English provinces, it’s way more common to get married. We are committed, faithful, happy, without being married.
Best part of a man’s life is also raising children. Having a Dad around who works 70+ hours a week and spends no time with his kid has significant negative effects on a child. However, one person working 40 hours a week is not enough money now. Therefore, you need mom and dad to both work and both be there.
Its not only divorce and worrying about money issues. But also the court system favor mothers when it comes to the kids. Men lose EVERYTHING when the women divorces them. Its just not worth it. Married or not your gonna become a weekend dad most the time when your child’s mother leaves you. But at least you wont have to give up 50% of everything you own and pay alimony and child support
I would be married if the marriage laws weren’t ridiculous. I’m a high income / high net worth individual, why would an intelligent man with assets EVER open himself up to that much liability? And for what? A woman who’s had 10-20 sexual partners and “had her fun” in her 20’s while I was working 16hr days? No thanks.
Being married has been a blessing to me. I think to choose wisely your partner is important, it can give you peace of mind. I don’t agree with the guy that basically said is ok for man to sleep with a lot of women, but not for woman, that behavior is destructive for both, and if a man thinks that is ok just cuz you are the man, then he will not respect marriage and his wife.
Women don’t want to be married, bottom line. It’s a terrible contract that pays one side for breaking it and it seems most women understand this more than men. This topic has been beaten to death yet guys still act clueless when they discuss it. Even the ones with “options”. If you have options like you say you do and your in the field you already know the answer to this question. It’s not a mystery.
I would love to get married to my soulmate; to a man whom I respect, build a partnership with and grow old with. Marriage, i believe, should be sacred. It’s a promise of forever that’s why it’s challenging esp nowadays to find someone who has that same beliefs because a part of society is influencing people with a different view. 🙁 it’s sad.
True Marriage is when two become one through child in my opinion. Till death (of child) do ye part. If the marriage isn’t through child then it’s practically a business deal where two people merge similar to a corporate merger and are under a contract till they divorce which is legally done with a certificate. True marriage your child is the contract. So I see two different types of marriage which can be combined.
Why do they think you have to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding? I’ve got 2 adult children and 5 grandchildren and 2 little great-grandchildren. I had my first child at 20. People now think that’s too young. I went to nursing school after I had my 2 children. Their daddy was a bulldozer operator on a surface mining job. I raised my children in the same holler that I was raised in. The same holler in southeast Kentucky that my ancestors came to in the late 1700’s.
Everything this man said is so true, the concept of marriage has fell through the cracks. They no longer respect the vows they speak before God when they marry. They think it is just words that don’t matter but it does matter. I got divorced from a very violent man and it still hurt my sons but they understood but it still did hurt. So I was so grateful and by Gods blessing I found a REAL man who took all of us and LOVED all of us and he taught the boys what they needed to know, the things as a mom and woman is not capable of teaching young boys. I knew that. Yes children need both mother and a strong father. It is just the way it is. And yea I cried when I turned 35 then cried when I turned “39” lol, and now I am again “39” hahahaha and I so wish I could take back all that crying over nothing when I was 35. That was not old, 40-45 is NOT OLD. My motto now is “You are only as old as you feel” Excluding mornings when you wake up lol, those of you who know, know.
If men don’t want women who have slept with a bunch of men, then every woman they hook up with they are ruining her chances of being “wife material”. Which would be shameful if you would really reject someone for doing the same behavior you do. Also it’s beyond selfish to ever sleeep with anyone if that is your belief. This is like being fat but only wanting to date someone skinny. Be the person you are trying to attract. I wish these good men and father like PBD and Tucker would push back when guys like Adam and Andrew Tate say these things. These are their daughters options one day if we don’t stand up.
I would hate to grow old and sick, with no family or support. Dying alone, seems like a very exhausting and overwhelming painful idea. To get sent to a nursing home, to know that nobody is going to be by my side when im dying. Nobody to take me to the hospital… instead people will be taking ubers. The system succeeded in causing division between male and female, political beliefs, religion, culture, etc.
My first wedding was at my home and I was 8mo preg so nothing fancy. My second marriage was in blue jeans and nice boots with a Columbia white button down top with sleeves rolled up right next door at the local Baptist church on a Wednesday and it was just us and the preacher and the witness was the secretary but she was in her office lol. I never wanted a fancy expensive wedding . Now I will say my dream wedding was and always will be a beach wedding with a boho white dress and beads on barefeet. That was my DREAM, and I seen one of my school friends actually had that and I was so happy for her because we grew up poor and in sometimes in trouble. It took her until her later years to finally find the one and guess what He is much older than her too.
I don’t have kids. I was married and my ex-wife was a “loose cannon” to put it politely. She just texted me a few months ago, after her follow up marriage fell apart. She’s got 4 kids with that follow up husband. She’s making good money. And she doesn’t understand why things didn’t work out with him – and why I don’t have kids. Well, I don’t have kids because my ex-wife seems to be the new norm. Doing whatever she feels like doing – married or not, kids or not. Personally, I’m willing to grow old and be alone and possibly lonely if it means I’m not messing up a bunch of kids because I can’t seem to find a woman who has her priorities in order. Because raising kids in a broken home seems like a great way to really hurt those kids, possibly in a multigenerational way. I guess I care too much to do that, so I’ll bear the pain instead by just growing old alone.
I was married at 18 for 20 years, four children, divorced, and never plan to marry again. Love being single. Went to college, moved every year for 10 years for job, and finally settled. Now I am a grandmother of 11, and enjoy my children’s marriage, and their children. Divorce was due to husband regularly wandering, drinking, and never home. No need to marry.
0:09: 📚 Two in five young adults consider marriage an outdated tradition, with 85% believing that a fulfilling and committed relationship doesn’t require marriage.\r 3:23: 😔 The speaker discusses the challenges and fears men face in relationships and marriage due to societal changes.\r 5:58: 👩👧👦 The speaker emphasizes the importance of considering the well-being of children and family over individual desires and career aspirations.\r 8:35: 💔 The speaker reflects on the tragic consequences of not having a family and emphasizes the importance of promoting marriage and family to young people.\r 11:24: 💍 The speaker discusses the importance of investing in a marriage rather than spending extravagantly on a wedding.\r 13:41: 📚 The speaker discusses the lack of accountability and guidance from a father figure, as well as government policies that disincentivize marriage and family formation.\r 16:00: 🔑 The speaker discusses the corruption in the system, the impact of hookup culture on women, and the difference in societal perception between men and women regarding multiple sexual partners.\r Recap by Tammy AI
Morality applied only to one side has a name and that’s hypocrisy. Promiscuity isn’t good for EITHER SEX. Sex is for love and bonding with your partner. men have an even weaker bonding mechanism hormonally than women, so promiscuity harms their chance of bonding as much or more than women. Also, this is blatantly motivated reasoning because it’s on its face so illogical—-if MEN are promiscuous and they’re straight, who are they having sex with? Women… thereby making women promiscuous too, the very thing that he says lowers their value. It’s plain to see if you think about it for a second that it’s ridiculous to ask for women to NOT be promiscuous while saying it’s just fine for men and NEWSFLASH, it’s not. Women don’t want a promiscuous man either. That means he has no self control, likely very little honesty, doesn’t view sex as sacred and probably has an inability to bond as well as diseases. I’m not saying this to make people who’ve been promiscuous feel bad because anyone can be reformed if they make a sincere, soulful effort but this DOUBLE STANDARD makes no sense as well as being totally hypocritical.
Dropping a note re. workforce. Not sure whose reading this – but re. # 1 duty for a woman, while I generally agree, women especially in today’s era of modern economic “warfare” are being called to be leaders, more so healers. I am a 38 y/o childless conservative and a living testimony of that reality- nothing to do with modern feminism. My heart goes out to all the men who need good women in their sphere to love and support (not enable) them in these hard times. There’s not enough of us and its a massive need for healing.
Alot of women marry for what they can get out of a relationship rather than what they can contribute to it and their community. Problem doesn’t just lie with women though, we need to fix the simp like males that abandon their masculinity when they get married, happy wife happy life until she doesn’t find the guy attractive anymore due to his complete passivity as a male.
I don’t have time to sit through the article, but I wanted to drop this comment. Marriage is a very foolish decision for men. The whole family court system is designed to punish men whenever women want to leave them (for any reason) or when a man wants to leave (even for a good reason, like the woman cheated or was abusive). A man does not gain any rights by getting married, but he only opens the door for the government and judges to take his money and property. I could go on and on about this. Actually, boys should be given a course on marriage and child support/visitation while in high school because, as it stands now, most guys have no idea how the system REALLY works until they are being screwed by it.
The dating pool and the dating environment both suck. Not working? Minor disagreement? People move on to the next one. Once that “happy period” wears off, you see the true colors come out. Couple that with the financial consequences of a failed marriage and it becomes a scenario where the reward is questionable vs the risk.
I love being married. It gives me a sense of purpose and fuels my drive for success. I have a wonderful wife who shares in a devout Christian world view (fully). I genuinely believe that because both understand and respect our respective roles that we don’t experience the struggles that are common among the average American couple. Plus, the luxury of having my wife and not seeking random women for fulfillment is both satisfying and a relief (especially considering all of the craziness that is shared between people nowadays). Marriage is meaningless if you’re not abiding my God’s intent for marriage and just doing it because it “feels right” or “good”.
Depending on State a child costs 14-35k a year, an avg wedding is 10-26k and 6k for a avg wedding ring on top of all the current costs of living and any liabilities. So if more than 60% of people are living paycheck to paycheck and have debt. I think most people believe and want marriage but living under financial pressures can make people feel like having a marriage and family is impossible so they just tell themselves it’s outdated.
I’m 60, never married, no kids…I WON!! Marriage is critical for children, yes, but not if women rule the home and relationship with unspoken threats of taking your money and life from you as a result of their feelings being the most important aspect of their lives. I am not missing a thing…I am enjoying my life, have all my resources now early retired. It is a shame that our society has turned so ugly for men and women today, but you have to make the best of what cards are dealt you in life and current society. “There is no going back now…” yes, true, for women, NOT for men…I could take drastic action and have children and a wife in a conservative country that doesn’t allow divorce…but if I had married and than divorced in America, which is more likely than not, my life at 60 would be completely different and not in a good way. This is mostly on women…they control what men want and they are the voting force that changed America since the 70’s…one thing men still control is marriage…so I controlled what I had control of and it was in my best interest. Life alone is great with my friends, acquaintances, garage full of toys and related outdoor activity, million dollar home and lots of cash in the bank! Comfortable, happy, active and fulfilled! Women can have their cats and anti-depressants and I will have my great life!
When a country rejects God, they reject marriage. I think it’s a moral issue. People think it’s okay to live “freely,” so what’s the point of marriage? People’s hearts and minds are all messed up. We value the wrong things and serve our own lusts. When that begins to change, then marriage will be desired and lasting. What also needs to be addressed is abuse in the home. A home with abuse of all sorts produces damaged people, which harms society in general.
I’m a 76 year old man. There’s been a lot of water under the bridge by now; but one thing I can definatly tell you is, I would not marry while I was young if I had it to do over again. And I would be very careful not to impregnate a woman. Don’t do it if you really want to live your life to the fullest.
I’m 42 and have never been married nor do I have any children. I was engaged when I was 24, but that lasted 2 years until she cheated. That was my first real relationship too, so it really hurt to end it. Then I got into a relationship with the next girl to show me any attention and that ended badly. So, I’ve been single for almost 14 years. I’d rather be single and semi happy than get my heart broken again. Plus, I’m not into dating apps or “hooking up” randomly. I really wish I had kids, but I’ve yet to meet a woman who I’d have kids with. So, I’ll just stay happy and free and single. If the right woman comes along, i may change my mind, but that hasn’t happened yet. My standards as far as looks aren’t very high either, it’s just most women have been brainwashed by social media into thinking they’re an 8 or 9, when they are closer to a 4. I see myself as at least a 6 looks wise, but I guess that’s not good enough these days.
Marriage is great right up until it isn’t. Then it’s the most horrible thing most people will ever experience whether it’s divorce or staying together in a horrible marriage. However, you can get that same happiness going in without getting married and avoid the wedding stress and expense. Not being married also reduces the pain and expense in the breakup stage. What benefit does marriage provide? Making your Mom happy?
Not All Single Mom’s Baby Our Kid’s. Both parents in the home is very important but when you don’t have control over that for a Variety of Reasons, Stereotyping Imo is BS. My kids are All Very Productive, Responsible, Kind Members of Society. It’s a difficult situation to do your best to bring balance on your own but it is possible. Luckily my kids had an Amazing Male Role Model, My Dad.
As much as Im a flag bearer of marriage, happy family etc, I look around me and find out that a lot of divorces are initiated by women who are cheated on. I’m scared if I will be hit by this kind of emotional trauma at some point in my life, So please talk about “cheating” from men’s side, how hook up culture is destroying women’s peace and marriage as a result. Women’s worst nightmare is, when the man starts making better money, he goes around looking for other options inspite or having a dedicated woman, a beautiful family, ruining everything. Now, do you recommend that woman to put up with that shit and stay back just to keep her family together? I want you to talk more about that, mistakes made by men that forces dignified respectable women to leave.
I am an advocate of marriage. I believe if two people love each other they should pursue marriage eventually. But having a conversation with my partner (we are not married yet) made me understand his point of view. People here in Italy don’t get married if they have no children yet, because the financial burden that it gives to the bread winner specially those that inherit family properties later in life. They risk to sell a family home and divide equally even if the person with no patrimony did NOTHING to build that wealth. Here in Europe makes sense to get married if both start at the same point financially, or for paperwork, or they have children already to protect the mother and the children. But it happens a lot that people get married without kids and then it doesn’t work and the person with the greater income suffers. I don’t find it fair. So we decided to get married when we have kids so they can have a security and I can be a better mom to them without worrying about my career. In the meantime I work as everyone else and contribute financially to our home.
It’s very simple. We have changed love into feelings based and transaction based. It started with boomers and many kids witnessed awful divorces, marriages, or were raised by single parents. Unfortunately we have become narcissistic we do not realize it takes two selfless people who love eachother in the Biblical action based way to make it work and to have a thriving and successful life. Unfortunately I am unsure how to change this authentic self culture we have built.
The problem is people lost sight of marriage. When you realize you don’t need the state and a contract to get married things change. You could have a ceremony with family and friends and no one would ask if you had a marriage license. I’ve thought this way since I was a kid and my girl said my exact same view back to me. That’s a keeper. Get married just don’t involve the state. Marriage will surge. They can’t stop you from marrying multiple women either.
I need a Pod cast.. this is main argument.. times are changing and you don’t need a family to have a child. Alimony and child support drains a mans finances. Men HIRE A SURROGATE!!!! no visitation, no child support, no arguments. Your child your rules ..beside a lot of men don’t want to get married or nor how to be a good husband, but your mother, aunt, sister and or girlFriend can help you with that child. I’m homeless due to child support. If I could go back. I wouldn’t have a baby being in a relationship that I didn’t want to be in
I think the contract is overrated if you choose to be with someone and have children and choose to follow the boundaries of ethics and principles you both can agree as a basic foundation then that is enough just like life long friendships that stay strong there doesn’t need to be a formal marriage written in contracts just be together
I dont know where to start. Adam makes some absurd comments sometimes and these men as well. One day they re saying they want a woman/wife who doesn’t work and is not independent, the other day they say they are scared of sharing their money with women suggesting women are materialistic. This only deepens the gap between men and women and only creates this hateful views of one another.
All my age group are financially crippled or divorced or look like they hate life. Everyone older than me tells me not to get married I’m glad I listen to both. Crazy how a women can even consider a divorce at 50+ leaving men wrecked in the process all for self gain this is the me me me economy it’s sad
Think about it from a eulogy perspective. When we die nobody will say he or she was a great corporate career climber. They will be remembered for leaving a legacy of being kind, contributing to society, and being a great parent. Money is very important but it is just a tool and should be treated as such. Women being told to be loyal to a company vs their own family have been misled.
Marriage is a very bad idea for men in the modern world. 40-50% chance of getting a divorce. 70% of the time the woman initiates the divorce. You can have a great relationship without putting everything you worked for on the line. I would never get married again and if I had a son, I would recommend that he never signs anything. I hope my daughter gets married so she can secure her financial future. However, men hand over their nuts in modern marriage.
Marriage isn’t outdated. We are simply very immature, broken and selfish to handle it and have parents who do a terrible job teaching us proper love because they didn’t do it right either, and people don’t know where to go to get the actual healing they need and strong marriage guidance (most marriage councillors are a joke!). Many don’t even care to examine themselves consistently as individuals to even know they need healing from the pains of life (that many times their own broken families have put them under). So we choose the coward thing and run away from the problem instead of fixing it in the root. And this is all because we’ve abandoned God and his instructions even inside the church. Everyone goes haywire but thinks they have it better without God. It’s what God himself calls “foolishness”. That’s the reality. And the fact that more bad advice is being given platform keeps perpetuating the issue.
Marriage as an institution exsisted for the benefit of women and children. Because women could not work in the same capacity as men when saddled with the task of also raising children, men were compelled socially to couple with women. It ensured women were partitioned the resources they needed and children were raised in the most stable environment. For the person who doesn’t want children marriage absolutely is outdated.
Men and women who sleep around are not considered attractive. A man who has a high body count signals that he is not loyal, he is driven by impulses and is superficial and he is also more likely to cheat. Men who stay in committed relationships show that they are mature and capable of staying long term.
’till death do us part’ If you don’t like it, then don’t get married. The truth is you take the vow in front of everyone at your wedding, you’re telling your own parents, as well as your partners parents, your brothers and sisters and cousins, that you will be together with a person until you die. If you can’t do that, then don’t bother with the ceremony and wedding.
People point to flaws, but I want to point to solutions: 1. If you are religious, you can get married through the church and never through the state. You won’t get the the joint-tax bracket stuff but you can be assured neither of you has responsibility for each others debts and earnings. 2. If you are not religious, domestic partnership is ok as well. Same as above. Be sure both sides are paying towards costs to avoid the annoying “common law spouse” stuff. Even if you charge your spouse rent of $1.00 it establishes that they are NOT your common law spouse and have no right to your property in the event of divorce. Of course, consult those who’ve experienced divorce court and more so you can get a more accurate picture.
I just don’t want to trust a woman with my assets I worked so hard to earn. Feminism hasn’t just freed women, men benefited greatly with the rise of MGTOW. I’ve learned to get over being single. I have a good friend circle, I’m developing my career and I have an adopted daughter. I’m not taking care of any woman just because she may create a child for me.
I had a lot to say on the matter, but I do not expect everyone to read all of this. The decline of matrimony in contemporary society represents a profound and multifaceted paradigm shift in the fabric of interpersonal relationships and the broader sociocultural landscape. This transformative trend, propelled by the evolution of cultural values and the redefinition of individual liberties, has sparked substantive scholarly discourse surrounding the salient benefits that ensue from this transformative phenomenon. The ensuing elucidation delves into the profound rationales why the institution of marriage might be deemed antiquated, underpinning an era in which society celebrates an unprecedented array of individual freedoms, organic personal growth, and the deconstruction of archaic norms.\r \r Foremost among the cogent arguments is the exaltation of individual autonomy and the imperative pursuit of self-actualization. The burgeoning reticence towards marriage, as evidenced by statistical trends, underscores a burgeoning realization that human agency, when unfettered from the strictures of a formalized commitment, propels an individual toward self-discovery, personal development, and the emancipation of their latent potential. A comprehensive survey conducted by renowned sociologists indicated that over 70% of young adults now prioritize personal growth and self-discovery as paramount in their lives, rendering the constraints of traditional marriage as increasingly unattractive. This profound epiphany empowers the masses to make judicious choices in their relational bonds, fostering a sense of unyielding agency and proprietorship over the course of their existence.
Talking about women sleeping with more men is a sign of a medieval thinking. I am not talking about women who do it as a job or of women who sleep around just for fun. Im talking about women who had 3 or 4 boyfriends and who are perceived as a low asset by these men. Believe me, if men would keep the promises they make at the beginning of the relationship, no woman would be looking for another man.EVER
But think about it, what incentive is there for younger adults to have kids nowadays? House prices have skyrocketed, health insurance is a joke, society moral values are at an all time low. On top of that modern feminism has made it so divorces are worse on men in every sense (I agree with Adam) And for what? Nobody seems to believe in loyalty to their partner anymore or going through the good and bad.
The financial success of 21st-century women gives them freedom of choice. Globally, women are opting out of marriage in large numbers from the US to most Asian countries. First marriage divorce rate is 52% and second marriage divorce rate is 70%. Your handpicked audience reflects the views of the hosts. There are more women over the age of 45 single by choice in the US than between 18 to 35. Marriage is a man’s institution with women now having the freedom to opt out if that is their choice….the exception is if women want to have children….but even then single mothers are a large percentage of households.