Open relationships, whether or not they involve wedding rings, can be a successful alternative to traditional romantic commitments. However, there are several reasons why open marriages don’t usually work out. One of the main reasons is jealousy, which is often cited as the number one reason for open marriages not working. Open marriages are consistent with mating rituals of animals, such as fire-colored beetles, which use toxic substances as aphrodisiacs.
Open relationships also have their dark side, as they require each party to let go of their own desires and expectations. To ensure a successful open relationship, it is essential to establish clear boundaries, check-in regularly, and prioritize your spouse as needed. Establishing ground rules and creating a contract are also crucial for a successful open marriage.
However, open relationships can be challenging to maintain due to inherent pitfalls such as jealousy, desire for exclusivity, undivided attention, and feeling special. Both parties must accept and encourage their partners to have new sexual experiences with others. Additionally, the risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) is much higher with multiple partners, and it is important not to underestimate the feelings of both parties.
In conclusion, open relationships often fail due to a lack of honesty between the two people in the relationship. Instead, couples should focus on setting goals together, establishing rules and boundaries, checking-in regularly, and prioritizing their spouse as needed.
📹 THIS is why open relationships don’t work
( GEAR ) Camera: Canon EOSr / Lens: Sigma 24mm f/1.4 Microphone: MXL 990 (+ Rodecaster Pro) Post processing: Adobe …
Are people in open marriages happier?
Researchers found no difference between monogamous couples and those in open relationships in how much they love and how satisfied they are. However, those in committed open relationships were less jealous and more trusting. If you want less jealousy and more trust, opening your relationship might be the way to go! As someone who is monogamous but in a relationship with a polyamorous man, I can tell you:
Are open marriages happier?
Researchers found no difference between monogamous couples and those in open relationships in how much they love and how satisfied they are. However, those in committed open relationships were less jealous and more trusting. If you want less jealousy and more trust, opening your relationship might be the way to go! As someone who is monogamous but in a relationship with a polyamorous man, I can tell you:
How many open marriages survive?
It was hard to find statistics on open marriages. We don’t talk about open marriage much. Some research says that open marriages don’t work. Steve Brody, Ph.D., a psychologist in Cambria, California, says that less than 1% of married people are in open marriages. It seems to be getting more popular. Some online dating sites let you say you’re married. What happened to Steve? I said no to his idea of sharing an apartment. You can’t be four-sevenths married. If you’re going to cheat, why get married in the first place? Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author who writes self-help books for people who don’t like self-help. Read her book, Prince Harming Syndrome, for more information on finding a happy relationship.
Do open marriages ever work?
For some couples, an open marriage is a wildly successful dynamic that ends up improving their relationship. However, some people enter an open marriage for the wrong reasons, thinking it will fix already existing issues. For those people, an open marriage can be the reason for divorce. An open marriage must be a choice mutually agreed upon. And both people must be fully committed.
Rules for a Successful Open Marriage. The best open marriages are ones with rules in place. The rules are set by the couple. They vary because each couple is unique and values different things. However, there are some common rules that many people in open marriages swear by.
Dont opt in for the wrong reasons. Opening up your marriage can be a way to level up your marriage from good to great. However, dont look to this option as the way to save a struggling relationship. If communication is poor, trust and jealousy are an issue, or theres a history of infidelity, an open marriage is not the answer. It could be, later on down the line, but youll need to work on foundational problems first.
What is the failure rate of open relationships?
Open relationships take work. Some research says that open relationships only succeed 8% of the time. “When a couple makes important decisions, they should make sure both people benefit,” says Gabrielle Usatynski, a couples and family therapist and founder of Power Couples Education. This is true mutuality. It’s good for both of us. If it’s not good for one of us, it’s not good for either of us. We’re in this together. If both partners feel comfortable and can change their minds, open relationships can be good for everyone. Susan Wenzel, a sex therapist and author of A Happy Life in an Open Relationship, has been married for 10 years and in an open relationship with her partner for eight of them. She felt freer and more adventurous by opening up her marriage. “I’ve grown so much sexually that I couldn’t have grown in a monogamous relationship,” she tells KCM.
What percentage of open marriages end in divorce?
Conflicting study conclusions. Different studies have resulted in conflicting conclusions about how open marriages actually function. One study says that 92 percent of open marriages end in divorce, supporting a common notion that marriage without exclusivity is doomed to fail. In contrast, data compiled by researcher J.K. Dixon indicate that 80 percent of wives in open marriages rate their compatibility with their spouse as excellent or good and 76 percent rate their sexual satisfaction the same way.
A study of same-sex male couples found that half of the open marriages studied among the group did not end in divorce. A New York Times piece examined this study and contemplated whether male same-sex marriages are better able to withstand open infidelity because the spouses enter into them with a better understanding of what to expect.
Can open marriage work?. The studies dont provide a definitive answer as to whether open marriage is doomed to fail. Perhaps the success of an open marriage has more to do with the people involved and their mindsets than the practice itself. While an open marriage might sound fun and exciting to you, theres a lot involved in making it work and avoiding divorce court.
What are the problems with open marriages?
Yet even with these guidelines established, helping couples navigate this territory is a challenge. Often, this new freedom brings unexpected jealousy, communication problems, resentment, and the fear that one partner may fall in love, especially when the excitement of a onetime sexual encounter may be off the charts when compared to the familiar intimacy of a long-term relationship.
Then theres the therapists own feelings in all of this. Not every therapist is willing to consider the option of an open relationship with clients; while some therapists, at the other end of the spectrum, follow theories that support open relationships, no matter what the specific circumstances are. Most of the therapists I know fall somewhere in the middle. They want to be supportive and realistic—and they have a lot of uncertainty when it comes to open relationships. In fact, you, the reader, might be noting how the topic makes you feel as you read about open relationships. A little tense? Anxious?
Heres what Ive concluded after several decades of doing this work: rather than me, its the couple sitting before me who must decide whats right or wrong for them. But as therapists, we can help couples explore the landscape. Are both partners secure enough to make it work? How will they communicate vulnerabilities and jealousy? What are their fantasies are about how this scenario will be played out? How does each imagine the other will behave?
What percentage of open marriages are successful?
Do Open Relationships Work Statistics Overview. Open relationships can have a 92% to 97% success rate, similar to monogamous relationships.
This statistic is a powerful testament to the potential success of open relationships. It shows that, contrary to popular belief, open relationships can be just as successful as monogamous ones. This statistic is an important piece of evidence that can be used to support the idea that open relationships can work, and that they should be taken seriously.
31% of men and 21% of women who identify as monogamous have cheated on their partner, while only 12% of those in open relationships have cheated.
This statistic speaks volumes about the effectiveness of open relationships in comparison to monogamous relationships. It suggests that those in open relationships are far less likely to cheat on their partner than those in monogamous relationships, indicating that open relationships may be a more successful way of maintaining a relationship.
Equitable and honest communication is the leading factor in determining the success of open relationships.
What is the fail rate of a polyamorous relationship?
Polyamorous relationships arent historically the most successful, says relationships expert Neil Wilkie. He told Red magazine that 20% of couples have experimented with consensual non-monogamy, but open marriage has a 92% failure rate.
What do psychologists say about open relationships?
🔑 Key Takeaways. While open relationships may go against traditional beliefs, some individuals find fulfillment in sexual exploration and variety. Successful non-monogamous arrangements require trust, clear boundaries, and effective communication between partners.
📝 Podcast Summary. Exploring the Psychology of Open Relationships: Understanding the Rise of Non-Monogamy. Open relationships are a non-monogamous arrangement that has become popular in recent years, especially among people in their 20s. Societys shift towards sexual liberation and experiences has encouraged this trend. While it goes against traditional beliefs about relationships and marriage, some people need different things to be fulfilled. Open relationships are typically less focused on emotional connections and more on sexual ones, but they require trust, boundaries, and communication for both partners to feel fulfilled. The attraction of non-monogamy can be attributed to personality traits, such as socio-sexuality, and the desire for variety and exploration. Understanding the psychology behind open relationships can shed light on why some individuals choose this model and how it can work for those involved.
Exploring Modern Relationships: Open, Polyamorous, and Swinging. Open relationships and non-monogamy are becoming more accepted in modern society, with a rising interest in exploring alternatives to traditional monogamous relationships. These terms, such as open relationships, polyamory, and swinging, are often used interchangeably but actually have distinctions. Open relationships involve two partners who are not monogamous but can still emotionally commit to one another, while polyamorous relationships involve committing to multiple partners. Swinging is purely sexual. In our twenties, open relationships are the most relevant because they offer emotional stability and commitment while also catering to our desire for exploration and sexual freedom.
The Link between Personality Traits and Consensual Non-Monogamy. Personality traits, particularly extraversion and openness to experiences, strongly predict attitudes and willingness to engage in consensual non-monogamy. People who oppose authority and widely held cultural or societal beliefs are also more receptive to relationships that are not conforming or traditional. However, its important to note that open relationships rarely work if one party is not fully committed or dedicated to the idea, which can create power imbalances and resentment. Overall, the decision to pursue an open relationship is a highly personal one that is influenced by a variety of factors, including personality and individual beliefs.
Is having an open marriage healthy?
The pros and cons of an open relationship. A 2020 study found that people are just as happy in CNM relationships as in monogamous ones. But an open relationship may have some benefits, including:
- More sexual satisfaction
- good communication
- more friends
- newness in the relationship
An open relationship can have problems, especially if boundaries aren’t clear or both partners aren’t interested in sexual intimacy with other people.
Fear, jealousy, risk of sexually transmitted infections, time management/partner commitment challenges, increased expenses for other partners, coping with secondary partners who want more.
How many open marriages succeed?
Do Open Relationships Work Statistics Overview. Open relationships can have a 92% to 97% success rate, similar to monogamous relationships.
This statistic is a powerful testament to the potential success of open relationships. It shows that, contrary to popular belief, open relationships can be just as successful as monogamous ones. This statistic is an important piece of evidence that can be used to support the idea that open relationships can work, and that they should be taken seriously.
31% of men and 21% of women who identify as monogamous have cheated on their partner, while only 12% of those in open relationships have cheated.
This statistic speaks volumes about the effectiveness of open relationships in comparison to monogamous relationships. It suggests that those in open relationships are far less likely to cheat on their partner than those in monogamous relationships, indicating that open relationships may be a more successful way of maintaining a relationship.
Equitable and honest communication is the leading factor in determining the success of open relationships.
📹 Open Marriages Can Never And Should Never Work
A popular YouTuber discovers why “open marriages” are a terrible idea. Become a DailyWire+ member and watch the full show: …
“She’s not yours. It’s only your turn.” That quote came to mind as I listened to the article. A hard pill to swallow for any man truly in love with his partner, but as others have stated, a man needs to know his standards and live according to them first and always. Fidelity should be one of them. I can’t understand wanting to be married and in an open relationship. What benefits does a man get? If you’re fortunate enough to be able to find other sleeping partners, why shackle oneself with the financial liability of marriage? And if your spouse does what Jada did AFTER you’re married, take the hit and cut them loose. I don’t condone Will’s behavior, but I can see his pain. Betrayal is brutal if you’re a principled person.
Isn’t it interesting that even though she is staying with him because she supposedly can’t do better, she still treats him with such disdain? I think it speaks to the perspective that there is nothing you can do for some of these women that will ‘win them over’. Better to cut them loose so that you can develop and enjoy your serenity.
100% agree! Finally, a talk about the real issue. He’s been publicly embarrassed and didn’t deal with it appropriately. He finally snapped! He needs to regain his sovereignty and leave, repair his life. It’s only getting worse. It’s wasn’t a staged performance, this was him reaching his breaking point. Thanks for succinctly describing this miserable relationship. Take a lesson men, never compromise your soul for this type of relationship. Peace all.
Thank you huMAN! This was my angle of the entire incident as well. The slap was not about Will defending Jada, but really a last ditch attempt for Will to get back any last ounce of his manhood and the frustration Jada had caused him due to their open relationship. As a man, if you don’t want to do something that could jeopardize your manhood, then just don’t do it.
I thought Will’s actions were meant to show his wife that he loves her to the point of being willing to physically hurt somebody- big mistake. When you see that cringe-worthy chat he and Jada had to discuss her affair, it was pretty obvious she liked what she did, regardless of how she knew how much it would hurt him. Jada is a very cruel individual. Will should give Chris Rock a call, set up a meeting over a couple beer and work it out with him. Following that, he should go home, tell Jada to get out, and take the financial hit. Short term pain, long term gain.
I know you’re correct in you analysis because admittedly I was in that same mode of thought during my marriage. Trying to will her love and just as important, her respect and admiration. I thought if I could be nicer, more accommodating, attentive, give more of myself she would be happy. 28 years and In the end she walked. Her reason? She wasn’t happy anymore and I no longer made her laugh like I used too. Having lived for nearly three decades with her happiness as the point of origin for everything in my life, I was left literally not knowing who I was or what path I should take. 4 years later and I am coming out of that abyss but everyday is still a struggle. My advice to all men especially young, don’t ever make a woman the center or focus of your life. They should be a compliment to it and to you.
Your assessment of Will’s denial and subsequent aggravation and that his wife does not love him is spot on. In my marriage my ex told all her lovers “we have an open marriage” except I wasn’t included. I cut that off but endured her infidelity until our girls reached an age where they could tell a judge they wanted to stay with me. I have experienced that mental/emotional disgrace, pain, anger which only consumed my spirit leaving me empty and withdrawn simply because she was still present. Will can wish all he wants to but in the end he needs to cut this cancer loose, sooner than later. I strongly recommend running away from anyone who suggests, attempts or deviously puts you in this position; there is no way to fix this issue in a relationship because the so called partner openly hates you.
Will Smith is in an abusive relationship. He thinks Jada is in love with Tupac, and has been trying to compete with him to win her heart. She has allowed him to do this, because it gives her total power over Will. But what Will doesn’t know is that Jada would have cheated on Tupac SOONER than she cheated on Will. By his own admission, Tupac spent most of his life as a nice guy, and got no response from women. He admitted that he acted like a Tyrone to get women, and it worked. Tupac wrote poetry, and got into rap by starting out as a background dancer. Tupac and Will are actually similar to each other. That’s why Jada chose them both. She knew she could control them both with her physicality and her mind games. Jada Pinkett Smith may be a narcissist of the highest order.
@huMAN I think we’ve got two people to look out for at the moment, actually: one is Will Smith, the other is Bruce Willis. With divorce laws in America being what they are, there’s always a risk the man gets put on a lifelong sentence of having to pay up a certain amount of cash per year. This amount, allegedly, is never adjusted, even if the kids move out, even if the woman has her own income. It’s possible Mrs. Smith is trying to provoke Will into filing a divorce, so she can legally be seen as the victim rather than instigating it herself. The only shot that matters is the last one, sort of deal. She goaded him into that slap, you’ll recall, he was laughing at first. And now he’s removed himself from the Oscars. He’s actively chosen a loss because he listened to her. For Bruce Willis, apparently he has managed to get his future in order, for now. Five or so films to come, digital rights to his appearance sold (which wasn’t new to him, see ‘Bruno the Kid’), it looks in order. But we’d need to know his alimony situation to be sure. Why does this matter? Well, think back to Robin Williams. People pointed to his depression, and growing cognitive decline as a cause, but neglect to mention what it was combined with. He was stuck with millions in payments per year to women who had their own income, and as a result he was forced to keep working, there was no option to retire, and he had to play in some real stinkers just to make ends meet. We’ve got two more men of influence on popular culture potentially heading down the same path, as different as they may be.
The right thing for Will to do would be to serve Jada with the divorce papers she so richly deserves. Take the financial hit (100’s of millions?). It will be worth every penny. It will also tell the world that she is such a horrible person that he is willing to pay $150M to get rid of her. That would be cathartic.
I’ve lived this. I was Will. Whether my wife cheated or not It didn’t matter. I was treated with disdain and disrespect . Once I realized I couldn’t get the wife to care for me I left her despite two young kids . I stayed longer than I should have but I did finally leave and Paid her a ton of money . I never spoke to her again despite having children. The loss of money hurts but 10 years later I’m glad I left. Worth every penny. Will needs to leave . No matter how narcissistic it has to hurt a woman that the father of her children will leave her and pay her a ton to not have to see or talk to her again. Maybe I’m wrong and she didn’t care and she’s mad I left because it cost her more money which is what it’s all about. Perfect article and I feel bad for Will. Serve her with papers buddy or you never start healing
It wasn’t simply the open relationship. Will has been in competition with a man that’s long since passed. Jada’s first love. The open relationship was fuel to the fire. How can any man compete against a dead man when his wife publicly states and cries over a man that’s been dead for more than two decades. That’s like competing against Jesus.
If you look at the guys she was with prior to Will, you’ll get a better understanding of what’s going on. She longs for the Alpha, not Will. She resents and belittles him at every turn, yet holds on to him because she will never have a guy with more stature. I can totally see where Jada talked him into the open marriage concept… It works great for her imperative. She gets to sleep around and not be called a 304. All under the guise of an open marriage. I suppose the Manosphere aphorism holds true, “Alpha fux, Beta bux”. Their marriage and family seem predicated on her “value” system. Of course, that’s why it is so dysfunctional.
Will saw how his father treated his mother. So he vowed to never be that. The problem is that he over corrected to the point he just lets her walk all over him. He’s burning himself alive to warm someone who will always be cold towards him. She’ll still be happy to use him though. Let’s pretend there are two type of guys. Type A (bad boy) and Type B (nice guy). Jada loves Type A (Tupac). Will is a Type B guy. At best he could only act as a Type A guy. A pseudo, semi, diet Type A guy. It’s not going to work. If you’re a Type B guy then you have no business dealing with someone who loves Type A.
So, I’ve been there, a partner that would cause trouble and then look to me to intervene and stand up for her. It’s a toxic trait as it’s their way of controlling your actions through guilt and age old expectations of chivalry. It won’t be the first time she’s done this to him, he knew what the penalty would be if he didn’t comply. So, he throws away his career so that he doesn’t upset his wife. Sad
Good take…. This chick so actively disrespects Will that she has been filling their daughters head with propaganda about how a dead man (Tupac) was so superior that Willow wrote a note to Tupac asking him to come back so her mom could be happy. Then to further the disrespect, Jada posts the child’s note on social media… Will needs to eject immediately.
Open relationships don’t work when he still provides everything she values from relationships (financial security, protection, validation, support) while she gives away everything to everyone but him the things he values in the relationship (physical intimacy, respect, support, appreciation). The person who asked for the open status (bet it’s almost never a truly mutual agreement) views it as freedom, validation, and a release from responsibility from a partner’s needs while the person who probably feels forced to agree feels devalued and disrespected while having to remain loyal to the vows they made to provide to a relationship. They often find themselves working even harder to please a person who just lost all respect and attraction to them, and it’s a tremendous ego boost to the person who engineered the open status of the relationship.
It’s almost impossible for damaged people to fix one another. And as a casual observer, the Will/Jada drama seems to be an example of this dynamic. In many ways, Jada seems the embodiment of toxic femininity. And if Will were a “healthy” man (self-respect for starters), Jada would have been jettisoned from his life long ago. Will and Jada have constructed a zombie partnership for themselves. I’m unaware of a zombie love story with a happy ending.
I came to the exact same conclusion — that slap was an emotional outburst at Chris Rock, but the person he wanted to slap was sitting next to him in the audience. Thank goodness he had the restraint to keep it to just a slap because it could have gotten ugly. I’ve never been a fan of open relationships because it’s often one-sided, with the other person agreeing only out of desperation to keep their partner. If a couple doesn’t agree to an open relationship at the beginning of the relationship — if it’s brought up later as a way to “have the best of both worlds,” it’s probably going to lead to a world soul-crushing emotional pain. No judgment here, but people should be honest about what they find acceptable for their relationship and not bend to the selfish desires of their partner who can, honestly, take them or leave them.
This is what happens when the doormat lacks the courage to return the stray to the street. Too afraid to be alone. Afraid of the smear campaign/slander and abuse that he’ll be subjected to if he leaves. You can’t turn a stray into a housecat. Don’t adopt strays. The relationship is completely perverse. In opposition of the natural, healthy dynamic: His authority as a man and father should be respected unconditionally. His word is the law, and when he lays it down, there should be no flight. No avoiding acountability. No tantrums. No telling daddy where to stick it. This natural dynamic is not present in their relationship, and he doesn’t have the sense, or the courage, to leave.
Most people think of love as a state of mind. They are “in love” or they “feel loved”. In reality love is more of a measurement. If you “love” someone more than you “hate” them – then you love them. If you are willing to go without what you WANT, and willing to live with what you HAVE, then it is love. If the things you don’t like about a person are outweighed by the things you like about them – then it can be love. If you can’t let someone toxic go because you can’t stand to live without them – that is co-dependence, not love. If you fear the person you “love” will hurt you again and again in the future – it is NOT love, it’s similar to Stockholm Syndrome and you are being used for your “love”. As someone once said “If they are your best friend, you love them for them. If they are your partner, you love them despite their negatives and treat them BETTER than you would your best friend.” This HAS TO apply both ways or it isn’t love, just a (good) friendship.
A really good take on the issue and the important lesson men can learn from this. It’s silly to chase an image and then expect the other person to be who you’d hoped. Being casual, or ‘open won’t help get to the core of the problem, despite what pseudo nonsense is espoused. It doesn’t matter what you can achieve, supplicating yourself to gain another’s affection just doesn’t work. And if you try to ‘prove’ yourself, or scream at the top of your lungs – even on the biggest stage in the world, as we saw here – it will be futile. A timely reminder that this stuff is no joke. Our culture feeds us all BS. It must be up to us to take it seriously.
What amuses me about the latest push that “open relationships” are ‘hip or cool or progressive” or what-have-you, is that it was “hip or cool or progressive” in the late ’90s when I was at university (I am 55 now), which ironically is the same age most of these flacks are now. None of what these people are doing is ‘new’; it’s just people living out their narcissistic, juvenile fantasies and refusing to ‘adult’. Then, as now, few of those relationships last more than a few years, usually getting destroyed from jealousy, resentment, and dissatisfaction. That Will Smith has lasted this long is less about the success of “open relationships” (given the number of dead bodies by the roadside of ‘progressivism’) and more a testament to the power of his self-delusion.
I’ve been in a situation that wasn’t a million miles away from Will’s. All I can say is that how she was acting towards me in private didn’t match what she was showing everone else, at all. That was when I learned the truth of the manosphere mantra “Ignore what she says and focus on what she does”. In addition to that, men don’t fall out of love as easily as women do. We’re not really evolved to do it the way they are. That gives us a huge disadvantage when they fall out of love with us. Male love isn’t that different from an addiction, I think. A really hardcore addiction. Even when it’s making you miserable you’d rather blame anything else. With Will, I think he’s spent his life following public opinion within his feminist-dominated community, trying to do the right thing. And they’ve rewarded him extravagantly for it, for most of his life. Now he’s waiting for public opinion to show him the way out of the situation he’s in, but it isn’t happening. He’s run into female own-group preference and female solipsism. They’ll destroy him before they yield that line, and not even take responsibility for doing so. And he doesn’t understand what he’s done wrong.
Mind over matter is great for overcoming personal obstacles in your own negative self depreciation. But it’s a disaster when used to ignore reality. Reminds me of my ex. Our relationship was in dire straits, but she refused to listen to me and work on herself, because “mind over matter”. She preferred to think if she put on a happy face, Everything would be great, and I’d never leave. She was wrong.
Well said Human. Also, age has caught that man. What dazzles others does not work on her. She knows his flaws and secrets. There is nothing there that she wants. He has drained himself trying to please others and that never works. His behavior is unacceptable but he won’t be punished and that’s sad honest truth.
Desire cannot be negotiated. It’s the hardest thing to walk from a reality you spend decade(s) building. But you have to understand that you can get their admiration, but that true desire cannot be jerry-rigged into place. Will Smith has to accept his wife does not desire him, never did give a shit about him, and move on.
The resentment is passed to inocent ones that point out the injustice because the repression and abuse suddenly possess those who don’t stay in their truth, also having a toxic person nearby that tries to control the narrative is very disgusting because it tries to dominate with their presence and body language to coordinate attacks out of shame and guilt that they don’t want to feel. Will got his lesson, hope to see it, Jada still has a lot of cleansing and judgement to receive. Conscience catch up cheating cowards. Karma will be served!
Civility vs Barbarism: Degrees of Civility; Degrees of Barbarism. Enlightenment vs Public ignorance: Personal Peace vs Internal Chaos Sovereignty vs Dependency: Atlas, holding up the world, becomes dependent on being needed, particularly as he becomes less valued (not the same thing as less needed) … which brings us to self-declared *Boundaries regards,
My ex wife in the 90’s wanted a open relationship meaning my relationship with her would be platonic only to keep faith with my parents and her family as she was of ethnic background, so as hard as it was I thought no so we separated/divorced she had been seeing a guy for quite sometime, anyway I was traumatised and remained single ever since its just all to complex but am happily single
I see this as a sad tug-of-war, in which none of them is willing to accept what has lost. Will, the chance to be corresponded with the love he so desires from his wife. His wife, the love that she lost 3 years before their marriage. And both of them are waiting for the other to give in and transform whatr they currently have into something else – the else that the other one desires: Will, her love; his wife, her freedom without losses (as you said in the article, she wants him to leave her, so that she doesn’t lose credit/reputation/money). The cowardice of both in this relationship is incredibly cringe to watch, and no “life partner” idea (that term used by them annoys the s**t out of me) spewed countless times can make me change that, in my opinion.
Excellent & timely proof of the dynamic as well as sheer reality that exists between many couples. I sensed the same thing you discuss in this article when The Slap happened. ALL that pressure that Will Smith has tried to contain in his cognitive dissonance with Jada’s Pinkett’s behavior hit a boiling point in that moment and his heart simply overruled his mind and he took it out on Chris Rock. The article shows Will laughing initially then, with Jada’s disapproval (her typical narcissistic behavior) Will felt pressure and made a snap judgement. He then complicated the situation with salty language in a live setting that millions of people around the world witnessed. That bi-polar behavior has cost him dearly. Since The Slap he may now recognize how much this is going to cost him and that the marriage won’t change. 1 his delusional precepts about his marriage, 2 Jada’s self-indulgent supposition that she’s entitled to “entanglements” AKA affairs when the whim suits her 3 Jada has no respect for her husband 4 slapping Chris solved nothing instead it ripped the situation wide open. Who cares that in a divorce he stands to lose half his fortune (175 million is still a huge wad of cash) he’ll have the liberty of healing his self-respect. It’s his future real happiness that matters here NOT the flawed assumption that his mate loves him. Better to cut the losses and accept the opportunity for a fresh start instead of continuing to prop up a failed marriage. No one can fault Will for wanting to get out now.
What I really disliked so far is how people so easily threw him under the bus without any second thought or understanding of his behavior and what lead him to this path. As they said “I lost all respect for Will” being so judgmental when fully aware of the context he was in, they didn’t even think on how they would be if people were equally arch with them in a moment of weakness. \r \r Like you’ve said at the start, everyone indulge in putting people down when they slip to feel superior and better about themselves. That’s so disgusting, and that’s our society. What I’m wondering is where are his friends? Is he even open minded enough to listen to advises or he is stuck in denial for a lot more years? We all know how this can end, let’s hope he wake up and start fixing his life.
Among other things, a body language analyst pointed out how bizzare it looked when Jada didn’t seem to even look at Will Smith after he slapped Chris and came to sit down, it was like all about keeping her composure and self preservation. This woman doesn’t care about Will Smith and he is spending the rest of his life chasing after her validation. Their daughter is likely to grow up to become just like her and the son will be as weak as Will. This n*gga done fucked up!
Brad Pitt. Mel Gibson. Channing Tatum. Johnny Depp. Ben Affleck. Michael Jordan. Will Smith… The list of high-value “alpha” men failing with these modern woemean is endless. If these guys can’t keep their woemean loyal and/or happy, what chance does an average Joe have? It’s possible, sure, but getting harder by the day…
Great take huMan, the best I have seen on YT so far. Here is the thing: If Will Smith were not one the biggest most famous actors in the world with more money than he knows what to do with — do you think this awful woman he is married to would have hung around:? She would have been gone years ago looking for another victim.
Thank you for this piece. Will you PLEASE do a revised version, without the Will/Jada celebrity template? I feel the extreme example of this celebrity situation minimizes the experiences of thousands of every day people who are emotionally devastated by the fallacy of “healthy” open relationships. A relatable article piece would be helpful and appreciated. Thank you.
Goodonya hugh very insightful and ahead of most of the pack imo. I still think there is some possibility that this mighta been staged, pay very close attention to rocks body posture leading up to the slap, looks like he was offering his face up, his stance pre slap was not natural. N if this minor possibility that it was fake is true then parties involved have realized that they went too far is the reason why they are remaining stum. Where is the camera angle showing smiths front as he delivered the slap ? I long ago learnt to do a hollywood punch, where from the correct angle and in coordination with the punchee I punch the air close to the face of the punchee with my left whilst thumping my chest ( to create sound effects) with my right. Why wasnt a close up on any damage to rocks face shown ? Sure a bloody or swollen lip? Or abrased face?
This farcical display of hubris and domestic contempt right on the Academy Awards Oscars stage was a grotesque exposure of things that you would only read about years ago in a gossip magazine. There will be very far-reaching and deeply severe repercussions for both Will and Jada, as well as for the Academy of motion pictures. The academy is doomed unless they take drastically stronger measures against this recent violation of individual and industrial standards of professionalism. There is no room to introduce and portray this kind of low-life, trashy, hypocritical, cultural war-like behavior so inappropriately. The academy is responsible for pressing charges against Will Smith. It is not Chris Rock’s job. Chris Rock did his job by appearing on that stage and delivering appropriate and tasteful humor. He did the job for the Academy already, and he saved them. Now they have to save themselves. As for the Smiths, they need to leave the scene of Hollywood and showbiz, and enter into whatever kind of rehabilitation therapy deemed necessary.
self-deception is the worst kind, the most dangerous kind of deceit. Truth be told though, our culture has been complicit in this deception by telling us as boys the lie of all conquering love, as if the mere feeling you experience can manipulate reality outside of your perception of it. This leads, inevitably, to pain. Pain as a consequence of learning that reality is something other, often drastically so, from what we believed and the pain is coensurate with the degree to which we were decieved. Most will try to avoid the pain by self-deception in an attempt to reinforce the lie and they only delay the pain.
Open relationships and “Friends with Benefits” never work. The later in particular is a great myth and has become very ingrained in our culture, especially for Millennials and Zoomers. The truth is, people in “Friends with Benefits” situations are in a relationship in all but name. The label is just used as an excuse to be an awful human being most of the time and relationship lazy. These people pretend that human’s can simply turn off the pair-bonding process and emotional connection that takes place when two people have s*x. They acted surprised when feelings develop. It’s like saying “I want to go swimming, but I don’t want to get wet”.
i think the reason women dont understand this stuff (i.e. “i should be able to have a boyfriend but sleep with other people”) is because men and women are different. I think that the male-female equivalent would be a man in a relationship with a woman, but that man spending time and money (e.g. dinners, buying gifts like jewellery, and going on trips/holidays with another woman). women would totally get why that is wrong, but because they are women they don’t get why sleeping with other guys is wrong.
Jada is not married to Will Smith, she’s definitely Tupac’s widow. These two mens are at the antipodes, Will is a clever, humorous and jokester, the one is always liked by everyone, it’s like the pleasant man. On the other hand, Pac was a Makavalikal’s charachter: a urban poet, a visionary, a “thuggish” way of carrying himself that made him a legend, who was always admired and love. See, that’s the difference, Jada felt for the Thug in him, but Tupac was far away for any female’s constriction on a sentimental level (he shy away from women in general, just think to one emotionally instable such as Jada). So Will nowadays is, was and will always be her backup plan, the one you choose to secure yourself if everything with the Alpha (Pac) gone left. This is my personal opinion, nothing true or special, just my 2 cents on this. Peace.
I know divorce is ridiculously expensive for most people, but I suspect Will Smith has enough money so that if he were to part with half to Jada as a divorce settlement, he could still live a life most of us can only dream about. Whatever money Will retains by staying with Jada will not make up for the pieces of himself that have been chipped away by living with a person who not only does not value him, but who appears to be actively engaged in undermining his self esteem.
Given how malicious Jada has been, I wonder just how much of all of this was “pre-meditated” on her part. They have auditions for the event, they go through the jokes and should know them, so Jada almost certainly would have known that joke was coming. Will laughed at it, but Jada didn’t, and a few moments later, Will is walking up there to “defend” her. She had to have known that something like this would destroy his career and would be the only thing people remembered him for that night instead of his Oscar. I suspect she either gave him a look or told him to do it with some kind of threat. I think it goes a lot deeper than just wanting to get back at her. You can see in how they talk that she’s completely in control of the relationship and he just goes along with it like an overbearing mother and her son.
Jada still carries a torch for a man who has been dead for 25 yrs. That is the type of lifestyle she wants to live in. Just look at the guy she had an affair with the younger rapper. It takes her back to a happier time in her life. Which do to the current lifestyle she lives, there is not a lot of happiness.
Before Jada married Will, I can’t remember her being with anyone. I find that odd. I knew she went to school with Tupac and they were close friends. What I can say is Will needs help because he made it known his mother was abused when he was a child and he admitted how this drove him to be overprotective of women. It’s not working out for him. Time to change his strategy.
The relationship died a long time ⌛ ago. Will is just finding it difficult to accept. However acting like a 2 year old is not the solution either. You can’t force burning desire from a person and once that desire is gone so is the relationship. Leave her regroup you talk about becoming a better man well that is step one. You can tell from body language alone Jada is not into you. Stop being a doormat and simp and rise up at least for your own sanity because currently it is madness. I have personally learnt relationships run their course. I just view them as leases and yes she is not yours just your turn.
I think people are analyzing too much this kind of situations. The way to look at this is, in my opinion, that there was a breach of contract and that they should go their own way. The man, as usual, will take the hit. Why does divorce cost so much? Because it’s worth it. In this specific case I think it was a publicity stunt. All fake. Women will say that Will was defending his woman, like a real man should. Jada will get sympathy because you can’t make a woman feel bad. Chris Rock will get to joke about being slapped by Will Smith. Oscars will get some attention (lowest ratings ever). Also the camera angle was so convenient. Just like they position the camera in movies for a punch or slap.
I don’t know my ex who I’m about to have a child with is an open relationship they’ve been together throughout almost the entire day of my pregnancy. I talked to him last night about it just asking questions and he said she’s the one who communicated about the open relationship but neither of them have seen other people. Granted he is tried to get with me multiple times but I told him I’m not gonna get involved in this relationship you guys have I’m not gonna be the other woman. Is it really an open relationship they’ve seen each other for seven months supposedly and neither of them have been with anybody else. Idk I’m confused, I was just like OK cool that’s great for you guys lol
Will looks like a nice guy.. he already told, he wants to make people happy and he wants people to like him… I don’t know what was his relationship with his parents… but clearly, somebody made the young will feel like $hit and that s why he choosed a wife who makes him feel like $hit… she is a witch,and will should leave her as soon as he can… she is the worst thing that can happen to him.
I’m kind of convinced the whole thing was staged: Let’s face it, if this didn’t happen, who would even bother talking about the Oscars. The only way I even heard of the Oscars being held, was through the will-slap articles. And that goes for an entire company of people I work with. We were all more surprised that the Oscars were actually still a thing, than Will Smith slapping some random dude on a stage. If this did not happen, our group of 20 odd people, who come from all walks of life and practically every culture on earth, would have gone on living thinking the Oscars are no longer being held. 20 people, from 3 different countries, at least 1 of whom is an avid movie buff and yet another actually does stunt-work for movies … And not a single one of us was aware that the Oscars are being held. That tells you everything you need to know. Hollywood is desperately trying to hold on to some semblance of relevance, in a world where the average YouTube website can out-do them in terms of content-depth, using nothing more than an actual shoe-string, never mind a shoe-string budget. What also bugs me is: If I was going to walk on to a stage and deck a guy for insulting someone I cared about … I’d use a fist, not an open hand! i.e.: If this was an actual angry dude, making something clear to another dude, it would have been known as the Will-Smith-Punch, not the Will-Smith-Slap. So yea, in my opinion, this was a well orchestrated Hollywood-tabloid event: Scripted, staged, and even rehearsed, long before the show happened.