Being married to a sociopath is challenging and often unhealthy, as it requires honesty and understanding of their traits. The recovery process from a sociopath’s prolonged trauma can have emotional impacts, and chronic symptoms of post-traumatic stress combine with the question of whether sociopaths can love. In most circumstances, it is best to have no contact with your former partner, especially if they are part of your social group or family or have children.
Sociopathic behavior in a marriage can be subtle yet destructive, and it is essential to keep communication open. Sociopaths have a personality disorder that causes them to lack empathy and manipulate and exploit others. To survive a relationship with a sociopath, it is important to understand their nature, keep cards close to your chest, and avoid sharing information with them ahead of time.
Remember that living in a marriage with a sociopath or narcissist is unpredictable, and relationships that do survive may be less satisfying due to reduced satisfaction. Sociopathy can lead to impaired empathy, a belief that one is special and unique, a need for excessive admiration, a sense of entitlement, interpersonally exploitive behavior, and a lack of empathy.
In conclusion, being married to a sociopath can be emotionally charged and challenging, but it is possible to maintain a healthy relationship and avoid the challenges associated with such relationships. It is crucial to be aware of the potential consequences of being married to a sociopath and to seek professional help if needed.
📹 Sociopaths and Love
▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭ Can Sociopaths love? The answer may not come as a surprise… ▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭ Timestamps: …
Can a sociopath be faithful?
Sociopaths know how others see them. Being faithful makes them look good, but cheating makes them look bad. They might stay loyal to protect their reputation. Sociopaths have emotions. People can be faithful to a partner for different reasons. If the partner provides something the person values, they may be faithful. 6 Strategies for a Healthy Relationship with a Sociopath.
Do sociopaths care about their family?
People with ASPD can love their family, but have trouble connecting with others. People with ASPD crave love and connection. They also have trouble understanding others, which makes it hard for them to form meaningful relationships. People with ASPD have trouble controlling their impulsive and thrill-seeking behavior. This can cause frustration and dangerous outcomes.
What does a sociopath want in a relationship?
A sociopath will try to learn as much about you as they can. They’ll learn about you and your past. Then they will use this information to: get the better of you, outwit you, disarm you and make you feel vulnerable. You’ll often find out little about them. They’ll change the subject or avoid talking about themselves. A relationship with a sociopath often goes from good to bad and then abusive. The sociopath will blame you when things go wrong.
How to stop a sociopath from ruining your life?
Going no contact is hard at first, but it’s the best thing you can do. Going no contact is a game-changer when it comes to relationships with sociopaths. You can’t be manipulated when you stop contacting the person. Be kind to yourself. Don’t blame yourself. Sociopaths can manipulate anyone. It’s not your fault. You were relating in an unusual way. Sociopaths don’t do that. Most people don’t realize the other person doesn’t have normal relating skills. They use seduction and exploitation. The sociopath uses people’s weaknesses to gain control. Don’t blame yourself for being weak. The emotional abuse you’ve experienced is not your fault.
Love yourself. These are important for recovery.
Be strong. Think you can be strong, and you will be. Recovery starts with empowerment. Empower yourself. This takes away your sense of security. A person needs only their spirituality to be okay.
What happens when a sociopath falls in love?
They don’t care about others, so they can’t form real emotional connections. Their version of love is often just about them and their own needs.
Here are some ways sociopaths see love in a relationship.
1. Charm. Sociopaths are good at making people like them. They may use charm to attract a partner. However, this charm is often fake and lacks real emotion.
Can you have a healthy relationship with a sociopath?
It’s not possible to have a healthy relationship with a sociopath because of their mood swings and behavior. Even if a sociopath isn’t violent, this issue is on a spectrum of behavior, so it can’t be ruled out. What is a sociopath? 18 signs you’re dating one How to get over it Conclusion Additional resources Silvi Saxena specializes in grief, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. She has experience in many other areas of mental healthcare. Dr. Saleh is an experienced physician and a leading medical journalist. He has helped raise awareness and reduce stigma about mental health disorders on evidence-based mental health sites.
How to survive being married to a sociopath?
Dealing with a sociopathic husband: take care of yourself. Because sociopaths take up a lot of your time and energy, you focus on them. … Consider counseling. … Be kind to yourself. … Connect with others. … Learn more about sociopathic husbands. What is sociopathy? Common signs Dangers Can they change? Can they love others?Dealing With a Sociopathic Husband Tips for Leaving a Sociopathic Spouse How To Heal Conclusion Additional Resources Infographics Kristin helps individuals and couples navigate relationship issues and life transitions like divorce and parenting. Her approach combines CBT, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Solution-Focused Therapy. Kristen Fuller, MD, is a doctor with experience in adult, adolescent, and OB/GYN medicine. She treats mood disorders, eating disorders, substance use disorders, and reduces the stigma of mental health.
Can a sociopath love you?
If love is just words, sociopaths can love.
When love is a feeling, not an emotion, sociopaths can love.
When love is a lie for personal gain, sociopaths can love.
When love is just sex, then sociopaths can love.
When love is just a word, sociopaths can love.
Can a sociopath fall in love?
If love is just words, sociopaths can love.
When love is a feeling, not an emotion, sociopaths can love.
When love is a lie for personal gain, sociopaths can love.
When love is just sex, then sociopaths can love.
When love is just a word, sociopaths can love.
Do sociopaths cry?
Sociopaths don’t feel or cry. However, they feel basic emotions when they need to. The sociopath can be angry, frustrated, or rage. Sociopath M.E. Thomas describes suddenly feeling angry, then feeling calm again. She remembers what made her angry, but her rage turns into calm purpose (How Abusers Gain Control By Appearing To Lose It). A sociopath has a sense of purpose, which means someone is a target. James Fallon is a neurobiologist who studies the sociopathic brain. He’s also a sociopath. He says, “When I get angry, it’s scary for others.” Why don’t sociopaths cry or have feelings? One cause of antisocial personality disorder is biological. The brain affects how we process and respond to things. This means that a sociopath can’t change. These biological causes explain why sociopaths don’t feel.
How to safely divorce a sociopath?
Chart your path. Identify your goals. Write down your main goals. … Don’t do it alone. To negotiate successfully, the spouses must have a balance of power. … Hire a good divorce attorney. … Be willing to go to court. “I think I’m losing my mind.” Amy, a bright, sensitive wife and mother of two, sat in my office for a divorce consultation. Jim swept me off my feet when we met 15 years ago. He was the smartest, most charming, and most caring man I’d ever met. “I’m going crazy, or he’s not the man I married.”
Amy continued, “He lied to me a lot, but he never apologized. It always seemed like I was to blame. I didn’t realize he was gaslighting me until I found out he was having an affair. When I confronted him, we fought. He blamed me for not meeting his needs! “I want to leave him, but I’m tired and scared.” Jim always wins. He never gives up. He just wears me down. He controls the kids’ activities and our money. If I leave, he’ll use the kids against me or burn down the house. What should I do?
Can marriage with a sociopath work?
Takeaway: Being married to a sociopath is emotionally challenging. Some people with ASPD will go to therapy and change their lives to fit with their partner. Some people can’t make a marriage with a sociopath work.
📹 Can Sociopaths Commit to a Romantic Relationship?
Ever wondered if a sociopath can commit to a relationship? My book “Honeytrap” will be available worldwide soon as physical …
As someone diagnosed with ASPD this does applies to my situation. I don’t love, I obsessed with the other person but if I don’t get what I want, doesn’t matter if we have been in a relationship for 3 years, I will dump you and detach completely. People think this is evil and cold but I’ll just feel empty and bored like any other day. It’s like a constant circle of boredom, it’s frustrating at times. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like when a blind person tells you they see absolutely nothing because that’s the only thing they know.
I just wanted to thank you, you opened my eyes up to what was happening in my relationship. I was in a relationship for 6 years and I was never happy and could not understand why. People around me always said, “O, I am so lucky to have him, or I found a good one”. But I never felt like that, I would always sit in my bed and cry, saying to God, “I do not want to be with this man”. It was extremely hard to leave the relationship and now that I am out of it, I am realizing and suspecting he potentially has a very extreme form of narcissism. He is extremely dangerous and I am very grateful he let me go. So again thank you. Because if it weren’t for you and your articles, I would never have realized and my eyes would be closed till this day.
After a number of years, while trying to put my finger on just wtf she was all about, l began to recognize some patterns. The inability to discuss aspects of the relationship without her becoming defensive. The black and white thinking. The splitting. The grandiosity.The propensity to verbally attack anything or anyone that could be seen as having positive attributes. As things really began to devolve, l realized something else. No matter what it was, be it time, money, the largest cut of tenderloin or the biggest piece of dessert, she always wanted the best and biggest for herself, no matter what. It became like a little experiment, where l would give her the opportunity to choose to be a bit less selfish. She would give gifts trying to appease after yet another instance of completely shitty behavior, but could she allow anyone to receive more of anything in day to day life? Not once. Thinking she could truly love, and could change as she kept promising, was what kept me living in the delusional shared fantasy for far too long.
As soon as you outlive your purpose or are no longer providing a resource (money, sex, kudos/credibility via association with you etc) they move on … Everything they do is for a reason and that reason is to benefit themselves. There is no depth, no nuance; they assess every interaction in terms of self gain and they are never ever off the clock. Can they love another …? No, they are pathologically incapable.
I am Diagnosed with ASPD and BPD. Much of my social responses have been due to abuse but I have for years been on a journey to break these habits. A lot of my progress has started with basic honesty to reality and honesty to the fact I didn’t understand why things ended the way they did. When I started to learn I started to heal. Don’t use my statement as a reason to “keep hope they will change”. The individual has to become self aware and desire change first, I have a feeling im on the milder spectrum. By this I mean I actually saw a disconnect, between god, family, emotions….it took me to dark places I saw I was different and didn’t understand why. I think at one point not understanding nearly broke me. I think I have just enough emotions to see im “muted” compared to others. Its not a good feeling, but I do love. I feel closer to my dogs than actual people though. I want to have relationships but I have bad trust issues…i guess because i know myself, i just don’t know how.
I’ve been married most of my life to a narcissist. he doe’s not feel empathy, and has admitted as much. he’s lied to me so many times that I no longer listen, and he’s cheated on me from the very beginning, I stop being a wife to him four yrs ago, when I found out about his affairs, it broke my heart. all I wanted to do was leave, just run away, but I couldn’t afford to until now. and suddenly I am the love of his life, and so on, I feel dead inside when I’m around him. I’m moving in a week and am fearful of his reactions. just being around him causes me so much anxiety. I hope that there will be a healing process once I am gone. I’m so happy that my time with is has come to an end. he already taught me how to be alone. for that I thank him. I lost so many yrs.
After decades putting up with and making excuses for family, partners, friends, i no longer care for the narrative, or for my half baked unqualified diagnosis of these ppl. So many yrs taken up with… analysing, ruminating, reflecting, all of which near destroyed me. Therapy helped get to the core of why I was attracted, attracting and attaching to these types. I now use a basic rule of thumb…if I feel bad, sad, helpless, scared, or have an uneasy feeling that I’m involved in some symbiotic dance, i leave, my life literally does depend upon it. The way I feel is more important, it comes first, therefore, make no excuses for them or for me. The subtle undertone of ridicule, sarcasm, the mental manipulation, the sudden forgetfulness when they are being exposed, the transference, the triangulation etc the list is definitely not exhaustive. l’m more aware now than ever and refuse to set a stage for their performance, perusal them play out their acts of a ‘relationship’. Being aware enough to know when to leave has served me well on every occasion. I continue to thank the people who have helped me get to where I am including Richard Grannon.
This one was particularly interesting as I dated a sociopath for 18 months. At times it was great fun, but I came to realise it was purely transactional and they had no interest in my wants and needs. As long as they got what they wanted all was well. Tantrums when losing board games was a red flag. Ultimately I left but lost a lot of personal stuff as they changed the locks and refused to let me in. I feel like I had a lucky escape. It did take me a good 3 years to get over fully as it was very potent. I’m relieved I got away. I felt like it was something that could have taken a much darker turn. And i agree they are lawbreakers. Absolutely, no boundaries and conventions apply to them.
If you are back from the hell of being a narcissist, the whole process of healing is about discovering the world of humans. I genuinely didn’t have any idea what and how people feel. I always stopped at the level of reading their facial expression or understanding their verbal communication. I learned how to react to it perfectly, but I never got deeper to feel with them. When you start to heal from PTSD & NPD there are so many discoveries every day. So many things I had no idea people really are. It’s like being 3 or 4 at the age when my abuse started and learning everything again from the beginning. When I hurt and am cruel with the others, it’s like taking a drug, all I need is the pain-soothing effect of it. No moral, no values or rational thinking are working at that moment. I always wake up in a desert of destruction and self-destruction after that shot. But at the same time I cannot get rid of the desperate need to love and to learn how to love. I cannot stop both sides of myself and I desperately need to put them in balance. It’s extremely difficult but I have no choice as long as I have to continue to live in this world.
Our landlord with whom we live in a building and who we discovered is actually 3 years old, loves to play a special game with us and our cat. He will lure it inside his apartment until we start searching for it and ring the airtag on its collar, then he will put it outside and say it has been outside all the time. It’s a game he loves to play, several times a day. We know for a fact the cat has been inside because the airtag was not hearable and we heard him open the door very quietly and sneak out. We can even SMELL his apartment. When asked to stop luring our cat inside, he had the gall to complain about the airtag sound bothering him. Twisting words is his favorite. Not once has he said he will stop or apologized or admitted what he did. He also feeds it with who knows what despite being told to stop, causing it diarrhea. His behavior is so crazy to me, all of this, that a grown man would do this, repeatedly, over and over, and lie about it, and play this game every day. He’s in his late 50s, single and alone, we’re moving out soon and since we handed in our notice, I am keeping the cat at my side at all times, not letting it out alone, walking it like a dog, until the very last day here, until we made it out of here alive so he can’t get revenge using the cat. Thing is: People act like I’m crazy or overreacting, like he’s this poor, lonely guy and harmless. But he already uses the cat to annoy us and doesn’t give a shit about the cat’s wellbeing. Plus, our other cat has already disappeared after suddenly showing an immense fear towards this f*cking guy.
I’ve seen them love their kids as only a reflection of their own glory. I’ve seen them love the limelight, money, their own image in a mirror, and attention from everyone. I had myself convinced that my main one I know loved his first wife until I realized his second wife was in the wings waiting to take her place. He’s such a cad he made that one wait nine years before he pulled the trigger and married her. Icky poo.
Interesting article. I’m actually diagnosed with ASPD after many many years of dysfunction and took months of the consultant psychiatrist/mental health team going over my life history over and over again before I got diagnosed by the NHS. Do people with ASPD feel love? yes we do. I deeply love my kids and I also loved an ex gf once. It’s a spectrum like autism they tell me. So many misconceptions and it devastated my life year after year and I got diagnosed in my late 30’s and then it all made sense. Me personally I have a very very difficult time to connect with people along with many other issues. I think for me the best way to describe my experience is say the average person hears the music of life at volume 10, yet mine is dialed down at volume 2.
Richard, thank you for your straightforward wisdom. I’ve learned so much from you. I was with a narcissist for 6.5 yrs and then a sociopath for 2. The attraction I felt towards these men was their uniqueness, as I have never encountered such behavior in my life with others. Maybe I was sheltered, naive, vulnerable, and was never warned about these types of personalities. I was a perfect target. I didn’t realize what was going on until it was too late and my heart was ripped out, torn to shreds and stomped upon. It took years to get myself back but I did and I am happy again. I owe some of my healing journey to you and your articles. Thank you so much!
I have to bring up a few points, couldn’t leave this one alone. I have ASPD. I’ve spent many years meticulously learning human behavior, and even within ASPD I’ve found we all share something; The ability to evolve or at a minimum adapt. Now, while we may not be able to call our “love” by the conventional term everyone is so familiar with, we are capable of some semblance of it. I can love, you’re wrong to tell me I can’t, but you’re right in that I have to get something I want out of it. But if what I want, has always been love, to be loved and to give it, how can you tell me I’m incapable of doing so? The way I would describe a sociopaths love is obsession. This does not mean it isn’t love, sociopaths are largely misunderstood, people believe us to be emotionless and they’re completely wrong about that. See sociopaths remember a time when we felt everything, I feel the need to point to the spectrum aspect of this. We ALL feel anger for example, however it’s more aptly described with the term; Rage. See, we don’t have no emotions at all. Consider it a compass, while you, the average individual has North, south east and west, some of us only have north and a little bit of east or any combination you might want to use. My emotions, while less than yours are far more intensely experienced than yours. Your emotions go up to maybe 80% while resting at 30% in typical situations. Mine rest at 0% while in any situation I experience takes my emotional state to 110% so to say I can’t love, is just “normal” or neurotypical people parading about as if they can even begin to truly understand the neurodivergent mind of an “abnormal” or in this case sociopathic individual.
I was married to a sociopath for 16 years & had 5 children with him. His actions indirectly caused the death of my oldest. He only cried when people were perusal. He would’ve killed me if he had thought he could’ve gotten away with it, I barely escaped alive. He never loved me or his children or his own mother.
In my experience the one I’ve dealt with doesn’t in any way consciously go after things with the intent to manipulate. They consciously seek those things that make them feel good and unconsciously go about getting them to the point where they don’t even remember what they’ve done or said to do so. They remember almost to nothing as it actually occurred. It’s frightening.
I could not agree with you more. Having myself loved a sociopath for more than 2 decades (rather unfortunately), your analysis is absolutely spot on. The remorse is rooted in the sub and drives the ego. The same can apply to the opposite end of the spectrum, whereas someone who really cares, cannot face pain (or self reflect) can end up wreckless and bitter as to avoid guilt.
It’s always interesting with trying to pin down what emotions personality disorders can experience. Because they seem very aware when others don’t care for them. They want unfettered love and admiration, even though most (ASP, NPD types) self-proclaim that they can’t offer this or understand it. Seems hypocritical to me, and matches that everything they say is questionable and can’t be trusted.
This is so true I had a sociopath person who I thought was a friend sadly she never was a friend she didn’t understand what I meant or never understood what a real friend is because I told her I care about you so much as a deer friend she didn’t care about me at all definitely tells means it’s about manipulative tactics towards someone else she really never will fully care like a real normal person does so she like all sociopaths are dangerous manipulative and toxic you should never waste your time in any relationship with them and they won’t change it’s heartbreaking 💔 but it’s good to know that so I won’t waste my time on any of this anymore these people won’t ever love you for real!
That was deep RG: big thanks for the reflection. Always struggled with the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. They tend to obssess with toys. And people for them are toys to be instrumentalized. If that’s love? I’ll have to agree with you: not in the way I describe, perceive or feel love.
Yes I’m dealing with one of those atm. Because I was literally going through hell, I prayed to be shown the specific person doing it to me. I was shown a few days ago. He knew he was exposed and all hell has broken loose since. He is very clever, able to use magic and witchcraft. I should have sued him for what he did to me, however, I knew I would prob not succeed because of this. Not sure if he’s a sociopath, but certainly a narcissist. I’m praying that his memory of me (and vice versa) would be taken away so that he will stop coming against me. I’m not interested in taking him on. I think he would derive great pleasure from screwing me over. Thanks for your insights.
I just hate how hard it is to overcome this counterfeit love and robs loves true intent. It is truly a thief. I believe that by the grace of leaders like this we actually are being allowed to heal together and overcome the adversities of incompatibility. We are fortunate to be restored to wholeness and be vulnerable to love again. – Colleen
I spent a long time trying to figure out what was going on in my situation, and I assure you that these people see others as either their possessions or their enemy. There is no other option. Either you are here to needlessly serve them and never receive any affection/respect/gratitude until the end of time, otherwise, you are an enemy in their domain that they have the right to take on however they see fit. The laws of the world do not apply to these people, and any sort of humanity that you display will be communicated as a weakness. What is yours (your money, body, children etc) is theirs for the taking whenever they please but your responsibility to maintain and under no conditions are you entitled to any accountability from them. If my NSPD person parked their car at target and it was a tight squeeze, he would smash his door into the other car and abuse everyone in our family for the rest of the day because it pissed him off. Also, if anyone had needs it was seen a a competition for HIS needs. If my 3 year old is hungry, that means that someone else’s needs are trumping NSPD man and we are in for 6 months of the silent treatment in our home (that i completely finance, food, healthcare, mortgage, electricity, tuition etc and have no authority in). That 6 months of living together and enduring the silent treatment will be rife with abuse when they are not out sleeping with every hooker they can find and hate you for “making them” live this way. in almost a decade of dealing with this person, they have never been able to tell me that they “like” me much less love me.
I’ve been ‘close’ to two people with extreme psychologies. It’s difficult to evaluate how they experience the connection. In those moments they convey that zero empathy point, it makes one reinterpret the other moments with that as a continual reference. The altruistic love described in the article “I love you if I’m not with you… I love you even if I get nothing from that relationship” puts me in mind of the question of how I feel towards these individuals. I wish for them to get better, I don’t actively desire their suffering, I’m not fixated on punishing them, but prefer avoidance and strongly desire to make the harmful behavior stop, even if it is a cost to them. I consider it more of a philosophical love, although I could act for their benefit, but would not place myself at risk for their benefit, because my choices are primarily avoidance. I would place myself at risk for trusted relationships. “What is love” is a difficult question, and I never feel I quite have an answer.
They can’t love others, because they can’t love themselves. That’s it. However there is always a transactional element in love, it’s how we react when we don’t receive it that is key. Narcissists only know anger and rage, healthy individuals respond in a constructive way and seek compromise / clarification with the goal of strengthening the relationship.
You are spot on yes we did give these people love and respect and care what do we get in return false lines. About everything we shared together we were the givers they are the takers they would take all the feelings and care and love. Then turn around be with someone else with out a word and still want you to be there for them. That will only happen if you alound it to happen, you have to try to remove your feelings for this person yes that’s so hard to do but you have to for yourself. These people are narcissistic and they will not change for anyone else there own mind set doesn’t alound them to look the way we do and there feelings not there to. If they had feelings like us they would feel pain like us, they don’t care and they don’t give a f- – k. If they come back to you look at them I would say this to my dear lady thank you for the time we had together it was the best for myself I’ll never forget it. But it wasn’t good enough for you at that time together. So I wished so much that we could reconnect with each other because that what I thought we shared together, but no I can’t make that happen . Turn around leave me alone I’m over you. 😎👍
Im currently in a relationship with a sociopath. He knows who he is and promises me that he will try to be the best version of himself for me, but the fact is that nothing ever changes. He tells me frequently, that he loves me, yet deep down I know it is a lie. It hurts me because not only that he is my partner, but he is also my best friend. I do not want to lose him but neither myself. Another issue is seeing each other daily (we are in the same class).
I am not diagnosed but I suspect I have ASPD but I am confident that I don’t explicitly need anything out of a relationship as it is impossible not to get anything out of a relationship. People leave an impression all the time whether they want to or not.\r \r Some people just leave a more potent impression giving you expectation that everyone now has to leave just as an intense impression as the last, I simply reset my expectations of people when I make a new connection and they always show me something new. So while I may be transactional I always get paid its just on me to catch what you paid me. That’s my cope if you want to say it. But I do agree that I do not love as I don’t believe anyone does I think it’s just Affirmations we’ve said that we want love and look to people who do love for so long that it becomes a self fulfilled prophecy….not a bad thing it’s just all about the results you want instead of the things you where told you want. yes, people use this for evil but doesn’t mean you have to and just because most people use it for evil doesn’t make this inherently evil it just means most people can’t handle the responsibility of it. which is probably why it is not promoted as a good thing, as it should be this is trauma at the end of the day but does that have to be a bad thing you can throw the trauma away, you can integrate it, you can redefine it to empower yourself, etc… there are a couple of ways to deal with it but ultimately it is on you to make the decision to be accepted or to not be.
As someone with ASPD, I can love people, but I kind of get what he means. When I love someone, they are like an extension of myself if that makes sense. But that love is so so hard earned. But when earned, I would move a mountain for them and defend them like I would defend myself, full force and whole heartedly without reservation, hesitation or care of consequences. As I’ve come to understand myself and ASPD, Ive realised I don’t see the world like everyone else does. My perception is very different. And my logic, while largely always bang on point is way different to everyone else’s, I get the the answer in very different yet correct ways. ASPD has to be the worst thing you have to live with mentally for so many reasons (could say the same for a variety of things and conditions, but you get my point)
Well, that is sad what damaged love causes. Should I say damaged souls? Richard I hate that a soul such as yours has been through abuse. You are someone’s dream partner. I wish you fulfillment of your life’s calling, which obviously is that of a healer and protector. Best regards and blessings to you. – Colleen
All spot on. Have been in a relationship with a psychopath for 12 months. To be honest, had the highest emotions of love, she was always saying what I wanted to hear, and then she left me maybe 7 times during this time – and always came back after the relationships seemed to be finished. Except the last time, when she left for some other guy without even properly saying goodbye. I am more than sure, than they are demon possessed, or smth like that. It seems that something devilish was taking 75% of their conscience, so that only 25% of all time she was great. And now wonder, all women in her family had abortions, there were two successful suicide attempts in remote family, and also possibly a person that committed mass crimes during the early Soviet era (I am from Ukraine). Her mom did the same with her husband, left him when felt bored. So, my conclusion is that all of that is kind-a devilish thing, and it will surely hit you hard. Though it’s very painful to leave, you’ll have to do it one day and you’ll need to reconstruct yourself from zero. God Bless!
I do love. But I also think sociopaths act very logically and I find myself agreeing with their means to an end very frequently. So I am likely to just leave a person I love if I am not getting anything in return. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel love. But it does mean I think my wellbeing is above my capacity to love.
Yep, I’m dealing with this and I suspect a clinical diagnosis could be made for narcissistic personality disorder. It is strictly about getting what she desires, she will say whatever it takes, do whatever she has to do, really nothing’s off the table and nothing is sacred. Emotions feigned, exaggerations made, lies told, projection and blame. She’s in a constant state of busying herself, or entertaining herself, all to avoid her own inner dialogue, because it seems she is at war with it, in this destructive incongruent little dance that has thus far, swallowed up 30 some years of her life. She has swallowed up 13 years of mine.. It has left me to try and understand WTH makes her tick and I’ve dove into Carl Jung’s works and it unlocked at least at a base level understanding of her condition. When we harbor incongruent thoughts or behaviors, it is like driving your car on a road without shoulders, each impulse causes you to jerk the wheel left, then you jerk it right, back and forth, increasingly becoming more erratic in swerving, until the push and pull causes the vehicle the loss of control. It seems she values no bystanders and no regard for who is in the way. In some cases, even disregard for their own children (ask me how I know..) There are ways to spot this, I first started to see it clearly when I realized that when things were difficult for us all (our family of 3), that her every complaint, even though our daughter and myself were actively dealing with the same circumstances, her every complaint was “me, I, this isn’t fair to me, but my,” etc.
My brief ex wife I found out has sociopathy I believe. During the divorce she was allowed to withhold her medical history and begged the judge for me not to know. Anyway she is also an alcoholic. She targets empathy, gaslights and love bombs. But you said they can pair bond but it must be transactional. I believe yes it’s transactional. What shocked me is I found out after the divorce she roofied me to sleep with another man. That still blows me away. All the things she did behind my back was bad enough but to drug me? That is evil.
My son is dating a sociopath. She wasn’t even legally separated from her husband (it’s been months and she’s still not close to divorce) and this woman moved her and two boys into my son’s place and he makes good money. She does not work and only does a couple online college courses a week. She’ll go out on weekend get aways with her friends, but my son can’t go out for coffee with me, without her trying to invite herself! There’s so much more shit this crazy chick says and does..you don’t have enough lines for me, but my mom is passive enough for her to manipulate my mom..
Me acabo de enterar que soy incapaz de amar! Fui diagnósticada con TLP o personalidad borderline. Pero ahora veo este article y comprendo porqué me aburro tan rápido de mis parejas. Y es lamentable porque yo quiero tener un compañero y deseo no hacerle daño jamás! Tengo una hija la cual amo con todo mi ser. Pero ahora estoy confundida, porque es posible que lo que siento, no sea amor realmente 😭
I wish there were sometimes referrals that dives further from partner relationship. By instance, the love of a sociopath or a criminal has ideally a setup of child to mother love, a one way get. Which for adults equals to danger. There comes the question then: can small children, whom lives outside of consciousness, love? Interesting, indeed.
Richard A DOUBT PLEASE 🙏can one build his own construct about world,people,ourselves and able to select Introject and fight the opposit or negative one .eg I have a tendency to be in a self state co dependent, loser self state,paranoia,narcissist way in a diffrent environment and act according to my intoject ..but how 🤔 you can I help my self my creating new self state or construct or to fight introject ..any idea 🙏 please.
I was taught how to hate, but not how to love. It’s by the grace of those who have been willing to look past my deficiencies and nature/disorder, that I have any capacity to overcome my already crippled baseline. Without Watson, there would be no hope for Sherlock but to be what he is, as per the components he was given (and deprived). I was only truly able to consistently function above my disorder (as opposed to beneath it), because of that, but do not make the mistake of believing you should. It’s a tall order, with very little probability that you will ever be rewarded for your generosity. I have more reason to be a monster than a man. My nature is monster > man. There is more monster in me, than man. But only by comitting to being a man, can I control the monster. Live by principle, if you cannot live by moral. Human being != person doing. Seek to become a person doing, and one can ‘love’ by doing, even if it is a shallow replication. My Watson’s been by my side for nearly two decades, and for all he has afforded me, he is afforded in kind (Strengths and weaknesses. Total opposites, but without condemnation. I respect his nobility, and he respects mine. He is considered). I believe were I truly narcissistic, as well as antisocial, he would not be considered at all, and most ASPD, are also narcissistically disordered. He had to qualify, as a person, in the first place. That’s the reason, you should not even consider the sociopath, but also why I hold my Watson, in such high regard.
I completely disagree I’m in a relationship with a woman and I feel love for her yet I’m diagnosed as a sociopath but I genuinely love her just like he said most of the Statistics come from criminals. so not all sociopaths act the same from the criminal side of things those are the ones can’t feel love maybe I’m one of the few maybe more who really knows when people like me get looked at from such a skewed personal lense but I know I can feel love. like I know I love her. I love the way she makes me feel I love to make her smile and laugh and blush, and I give her all the love I can, and she gives me all the love she can. we been happily engaged for two years now I love her with all my heart 🥰 so I typed this because I’m tired of people looking at other people in a bad light and skewed outlook as my mother always said nothing is ever black and white no human is the same and that’s beautiful and I believe people should talk to alot of people before judging. good night yall have a happy new year.🎉🎉🎉
Probably an unpopular opinion, but i think subjecting the general population to a standardized meaning of ‘love’ is a bit harmful. Love is such a loose term with many nuances, and it can look different from person to person. Is obsession not a form of love in a twisted sense? Just how overprotectiveness and ‘tough love’ can be? IMO what’s important is the actions taken after feeling this emotion called ‘love’. I don’t believe everyone with APD has zero capacity for love. It’s hard to say such a black and white statement about a disorder that’s based on a spectrum. With this in mind I’m not excusing abusive behavior. Parents who love their children and ‘punish’ them out of love are still abusive. But I think it’s important to take a step back and look at the whole picture rather than focus in on specifics.
I’ve been living in depression, gut problems always headache, because of not knowing I was living with a Narcs. My narcissist spouse has ruined my health and my mind has been so abused that I think I’m not worth anything to my self, and yet I have this eternal fight to stay alive and find peace within myself. My body is so sick inside every morning because I don’t want to be in the same space with my spouse, he makes me feel sick inside. I’ve beeb doing Gray Rock and Soul Distancing, which have made a difference to my body and soul. I knew after 5 years that this marriage was not for me but for my spouse so he had someone close to which he could treat like shit. And this has been going on now for 33 YEARS, Your spot on when you say “They don’t love, they can’t love they just want you to hurt you the way they were hurt….in mind and body. Now I understand why my health has been falling, trying to love and be happy with this spouse will never happen. Because of you I’m making a difference, I’ve been in emotional pain all my life, I wish I learned this when I was 8. My whole soul has been pushed down, and now! now at 70, I’m starting to feel my life come back a bit. My spouse has torn my heart apart with his shit. By saying he loves ME and then goes out f***king other women and says it alright to too that. Nothing like loving some one who lies, cheats. I have no feelings toward him or anything that comes my way. I feel no love, no emotion with my spouse, I’ve put a shield around my self to not let emotions, words enter MY space of being.
Strange and unique. You say maybe they could pair bond. You say it’s a lesser degree than psychopathology. I was definitely married to a powerful covert narcissistic man. Multiple times. I look forward to studying and comparing my experiences of them. And how my family was affected. The pets are at risk. They definitely like to puppetize. It’s all about them. I would not trust again, I’m afraid, without a professional evaluation of the person. Of the potential relationship. So NPD or bring a victim of NPD brings out the worst in us. Or causes us to turn to religion, where we get no assistance in Catholicism because the religion validates suffering. It seeks obedience. The woman is subservient to the man traditionally. We had no rights. I and others like myself became but a fraction of our former selves. I became strong and did fight back. It took a long time to leave. Not everyone has this strength. It’s a mess in many relationships and Traditional Catholic Churches.
Aren’t all relationships transactional though? If you don’t get what you need from a partner what is the point of bonding with them? What is the point of loving someone if they don’t meet your needs? At the same time aren’t you suppose to meet their needs as well, otherwise what is the point of being in a relationship to begin with?
I’m in therapy for dva bc I believe my ex is suffering from ASPD and she gave us homework to do. We write five things we need in our partner to feel love and in turn we believe we give back. I wrote… then from there what each meant to ourselves personally vs weather or not we feel the other person gives it us. And then compare notes…. Respect (which he didn’t have on his list at all) Loyalty (he had it and his idea of Loyalty was me being by his side constantly – he incarnated me many times actually and whenever i left i had to suffer violence threats and harassment) Honesty (his idea was me telling him everything to him even before even knowing him and when i said what about you? And he said all you have to do is ask me and ill tell you the truth and he added but i shouldnt have to ask you you should just tell me) Communication (he told me just listen to him and do what he tells me to do…. when I didn’t I got punished) And the fifth one I forget but it was distorted as well his thghts on it… From there I realized his idea of love was self serving and selfish and one rooted from insecurities and great fear of abandonment… which I respected that was his form of love towards others… but it didn’t fit my form of love which is one w empathy and respecting boundaries and not using other people’s words as weapons and non threatening… my form of love isn’t perfect I have my own insecurities and fears as well but I’m able to give space for others to process and grow w the information they gathered in our interactions and respect them for making choices that fit their needs.
I’m a psychopath, but I can truly love and fall in love with people. Maybe it’s not what you consider real love, but I do love a person even if I get nothing from them. I can love someone just for who they are. Right now I am madly in love with a girl and I cannot stop thinking about her. What is this then? And I’ve learned how to behave as a normal person and I am the most perfect partner you could have. But it’s a learned skill of course. I am a master lover and partner – a dream girlfriend. But maybe this is just learned behavior and not genuine? But still – I am still good to my partners this way and I do love them usually. It’s very confusing to me since I am a psychopath but still can have this stuff going on.
Can sociopaths love? The question implies a need. That’s okay for a baby or a little kid. The bare mininmum is UNCONDITIONAL love from it’s mom. That’s not okay for a grown ass woman. And insane for a MAN. Women are not able to love men, that’s fine. They love transactional. You have to perform. A man wants to be sure the offspring is 100% of his genetics. That is the only thing some high class women can provide, you can frase it… the bare minimun of loyalty. For the majority off mediocre females they removed the consequences. A man is loyal by nature. But most men are no longer men. They are women or needy babies. I do not exspect a woman to love me. If she respects me she will see me again. From low lights I accept fear, but I don’t accept low lights for more than a few nights. From a man I expect loyalty, he has to fight on my side with or without fear. But he has to fight. Love: Agápe, Éros, Philia, Storge, Philautia and Xenia. Google that for the bare minimum to talk about it. Most of the ways of love do not effect varies forms of interaction any how. Especialy psychopaths can act very loyal. That’s expectable, they own a true but poor self witch codepends and clúster B simply don’t have. My experience from combat. The clúster B is highly problematic including «Codependents», they are hysteric infantile morons. Hollywood and a weak society made them survive, it has to stop, it will stop. Desde Sudamérica
I have no friends and stay in isolation bcuz of all the craziness I’ve had to grow thru. Looking for my ppl. 🖤🫶 Sometimes especially lately I question if I have something wrong with me like narcissism but I’m usually not like this jus feel completely burned out. I need to work on myself and get myself together.
I wish I had a jacket I could love. That ol trusty that cuddles you fits perfectly snug doesn’t sag, it lifts you up embraces you protects, provides and stores for the future. Copes in every occasion and defends against the on coming in the future. I so wish I had a trusty favourite ..sadly not even a such. Love floats. People are fickle and finding your one well that’s just a vague hope. . Then being stuck with them. Argh. Save me from such a mindset. I’ve done four years now no partner and I just has a glimpse into a man and his magnetic personality seems everyone else has too perusal his addiction dance people thru . Is really codependant he is a open shop ..and I certainly don’t want to be a customer. And good to hear this. The party animal is too much animal deceptive and yes just uses people as a means to an end. As much as he is cute and seems smart and emotionally receptive it’s Thank God I have u and your wisdom. To remind me. Don’t fall down that well..don’t . 🪁🏴☠️ It’s very easy to be carried away with the closness and overlook the playing. The slide .the swing the round about. It’s a awful playground then someone gets hurt and who does the first aid. Richard does .God love him.
Listen, literally nobody is perfect. The fact that you’re being so open and honest is soooo important. I don’t think you should ever doubt yourself about this! You just keep focusing your energy on yourself and your relationship, keep being honest with each other and supporting each other. Actual power couple.
Your website is really opening up new kinds of conversations around personality disorders that frankly just don’t happen enough. Thank you for teaching another side of this, it has taught me alot. Also Kudos to you two for being so open and candid about your relationship – I am sure there are many couples out here who will benefit from it <3
Your dedication to being a good person and making good choices is something we should all aspire to. You are exactly right, you have not done anything wrong. Your disorder is not something that you choose to have, but you do choose to work hard at making really good choices! Please be proud of that. Please please be proud of that.
You are really brave for sharing your story and getting vulnerable for a large audience. When we think of sociopaths we think of serial killers, or people who have hurt us, our exes maybe, and because we have these negative experiences with them we may hold a resentment or stigmatize them. But the fact is there are many of these types of people are are not receiving help or treatment for their disorder. Most of them are probably not aware or don’t give a shit. The fact that you are willing to be this honest with yourself and to work through your issues, the fact that you are in a healthy relationship, and the fact that you feel comfortable using your platform to educate and advocate about your disorders and the challenges you face and how you’ve overcome them, all just warms my heart and makes me very happy for you!!! It’s totally possible to live a happy, fulfilling life with mental illness. You go girl 😊🤍
I found your website maybe an hour ago and have watched a handful of your articles. I deal with a lot of cluster B issues and people in my life (maybe even myself). I will say this: the fact that u sought out help in, got diagnosed, and have been honest n transparent (to Sam, your friends, but most importantly yourself) is probably a huge reason why u are able to have healthy and THRIVING relationships. I just really want everyone to be aware of one thing: Communication is key in any relationship, and that’s how trust is built. I always go out of my way to be kind and polite when someone new enters my life. I am not a nasty or malicious person… However, that doesn’t necessarily mean I respect them either. My respect is earned (slowly and over a period of time) and in return, my loyalty will be given. How someone treats me/ or handles me in one of my moods is HUGE. When we are quiet or want space, just give it to us n give us the time to think and process our thoughts (whatever they may be) and when we are ready (and not so manic) we will open up. Kanika, I am so happy that you found a man who is patient and understanding enough to make it work with you. This really gives me so much hope n also, thank you for putting this content out there. There are parts that are edited where u are on the verge of tears bc of the shame that comes with the label n that’s just so shitty of people. And thank u for bringing up having a moral compass, there’s a HUGEEE difference between having not having empathy and being a flat out piece of S*#T!
You talked about how you talked about your feelings, but how do you deal with the fact that she doesn’t care about your feelings? I just don’t see how a relationship like this could ever work because while she says she loves him, but without empathy or caring about someone else’s feelings love seems out of reach.
Thanks again for sharing….. every one of us needs to be aware of our conduct, thoughts, emotions and actions….when we are dealing with others in any type of relationship….we need to have self control over us…and be honest…our minds and emotions can easily betray us. Thanks for your great article! Best of wishes to you both!
Hey guys! Fantastic articles, loving the content, the approach, and the sharing. Massive kudos to all of you for navigating these situations so well 🙂 As a neurotypical studying human behaviour, I notice more and more that these “disorders” are just an extreme version of things that everybody does. I mean, how many people don’t we know that are your best friends for some time and then they disappear when the thrill is over? 🙂 Not that uncommon, I’ve been one of them too. It’s fascinating how the reaction to these extremes is so negative. It sounds like most people would take anything that happens so personally that “it hurts them” – but if they stopped 2 minutes to reflect, they’d probably realize that the “hurt” comes mainly from their own self-perception and they can choose how to react toward it. What Sam is doing (not taking things personally, detaching and setting the ego aside, seek understanding) is part of the learnings of yoga, Buddhism, therapy… It’s also fascinating that the solutions you mentioned in this article are the typical solutions that a therapist would suggest for a neurotypical couple to use (e.g. open communication). Besides the flowchart, what kind of communication methods do you use? What is or are the format used to express your feelings and experiences? I imagine vulnerable communication might be in use, but there might be other manners I cannot think about but that would interest the audience and benefit in sharing 🙂 Thanks again for these amazing articles, Best from the Netherlands!
Yeno kanika, you are incredibly brave to be here doing this, you have given me a whole new perspective on ASPD and a positive understanding. To be honest I grew up fearful of psychopaths and sociopaths because of all the things my family would say about them, turns out I know a few ASPD people and youse actually aren’t that bad, I use the word ‘bad’ because that’s how they were drawn out to me. My belief is no one’s bad and no one’s good we are all a whole mix of both, sometimes people do wrong things most of the time they try to do good things… we’re all human beings. It’s no one’s fault the way they are and I absolutely love to see ASPD types learning to manage themselves more positively. A very good friend of mine a close person to me who is my ex definitely carries the traits, perusal you and learning from you really had given me a far better understanding. Thank you for all you do xx
You have no idea how much you help people. We really don’t understand what is going on . You’re very brave putting yourself out there and talking about it. It’s easy to talk about narcissists as they are evil but why then do we love them in the first place. Thank you for your articles . Do you have a article on why do you lie so much about things . Even when you don’t have to. That’s what hurts me the most personally
Having BPD I don’t think I could date someone who couldn’t empathize with me, but it makes me happy that you found a happy and healthy relationship with open communication. I’m really enjoying your website thanks for being so open about your experience. It’s interesting to see where our disorders overlap and where they are polar opposites.
Judging by my last sociopathic ex – I’d say some of them are even MORE likely to commit, quite early on- to ‘get you to stay’ or ‘fall for them’ – especially if you had made if clear to them that you are done with f-boys, and that commitment is REALLY important to you (like I did). This guy was willing to wait it out even longer than most, and offered me the keys to his place (it was a long distance relationship), to stay there for FREE – very early on, for 3 weeks! red flag no.1. Unfortunately – it came with a huge price. When I spent more time with him irl – he admitted that he had K*LLED a CAT – I don’t think he was bullshitting about it, for ‘look at me I’m so edgy and ‘cool” points, either (which some of them do btw). The look in his eyes and excitement showed me that he was re-living the moment. He pointed to where he had done it, and explained in (too much) detail how, and that it belonged to the neighbours! Later on he threatened to k*ll a dog, and gave me death threats – literally over NOTHING, and THEN had the nerve to ‘put our relationship on break, and resume it once his rage had died down.’ At that point I (I was able to calm myself down whilst he made all these threats to me face to face), had lost it, two days after this wonderful event. I had CPTSD rage at my psych’s and found a way to write a letter telling him it’s over – but in a way that would not ‘piss him off too much’, as this crazy fucker (he was 2m tall and overweight btw) knew where I and my family lived.
This is what most relationships lack, honesty about our genuin feelings and thoughts and a bit more transactional. It’s really not a bad thing, because it keeps things balanced when we keep track. Otherwise one party will feel overburdened, always giving or at least giving more. I think we need more cognitive empathy.
Thank you for putting this out there and your website in general. I’d love to see more on relationship advice from the two of you – I’m currently dating a high functioning socio (with less self awareness than kanika) and it’s great in many ways but also frustrating and exhausting. The rage isn’t really an issue for us and I don’t tell him what to do though if there’s something important I disagree with, I break it down logically and we have a rule of reciprocity or equal rights in the relationship . Do the two of you ever struggle with manipulation attempts and/or boundary testing? If so how do you handle/ address or would that be considered a dealbreaker?
I think there should be subtypes of aspd like there is with bpd, cause not everyone presents the same way. my mother is a sociopath/narcissist and she has no intention of getting better or stopping her ways. she gets intense pleasure from abusing other people constantly, definitely a sadist, but I’ve learned not to project my trauma onto other people with these disorders. I myself have borderline personality disorder and would hate if someone compared me to Jeffery Dahmer or jodi arias, etc.
I’m codependent after life long narcissistic abuse from my father, but I find that ASPD and codependents share a lot of traits. People think that codependent people are innocent but they can be very manipulative as well. Don’t be fooled. Anyway, thanks for making these articles. They’re informative and I find the tips for overcoming maladaptive behavior patterns is very useful for cluster B people and codependents alike.
At 5:26 I was laughing out loud at how funny honest you were. I really like from people when they are honest, I don’t care if they would be mean or what. As long as they are honest I don’t mind. Conclusion: Stay true to yourself Kanika, just be honestly yourself and your are actively trying to have a better life. That is all that a human has to do in my opinion 😉
Genuine question: I’m curious about how exactly someone with ASPD experiences love. I understand that you say you’re capable of making good decisions to keep your partner happy, e.g. being honest about your urges to cheat, or moods. You’re intelligent and recognize that most NT people value fidelity & good communication in relationships. But what motivates you to do this work for this individual, esp to the point that you want to commit to marrying them? Both NT & ND people are often motivated to stay loyal/make their partner happy by sexual attraction/fulfilment, and/or their partners potentially giving them financial stability/status. Not assuming that’s your situation, just brainstorming potential non-romantic reasons for pursuing a relationship. As someone without ASPD, I feel like the main sign I love someone is wanting to nurture them and look after them, and do things that make them happy. Not to get something in return. Just because. I”m curious to know if you feel this? Or a version of this? How does your partner know you love them, or are just doing nice things out of self-interest?
Thank you Kanika. You are amazing. My girlfriend is a genuine sociopath. She is nonetheless a lovely person who is amazing. Sociopathic tendency is something a person is born with and should no be blamed and be persecuted for, and has a societal function. So my girlfriend has a sociopathic brain and her brain got further developed along that path due to very difficult childhood filled with abuse. At the end of the day, we are held for our actions, not our thoughts and inclinations. If a sociopath can learn to not harm others but peacefully coexist with non-sociopath and be a benevolent presence for others, that is a good person. Me, on the other hand is a person exact opposite of sociopath, where people I have known in my life consider me a “good person”. However I have harm others at times, out of fear and confusion. So you see we need not fear a sociopath necessarily but fear our actions that harm other human beings. Kanika, You by making these articles are storing up for yourself good karma, and benefiting other human beings. Thank you so much!!!
I’m going to have my partner watch this. I told him when he initiated this relationship of ours that it was a bad idea, and that I would likely end up hurting him. It’s my first monogamous relationship & I didn’t think I could do it… we are around 7 years in now. I tell him I love him all the time, both to let him know he is on my mind and to help poke my subconscious constantly to remind ME that how he impacts me is more important than whatever else is going on, don’t burn this bridge
I have developed a pretty intense internal moral judging system. There are two characteristics that make me view someone in a very favorable light. 1) if you have a mental issue that works against you behaving favorable to others or makes it harder for you to be fair to others (by ‘normal’ standards) but you still choose better choices for those involved as a whole (those refers to people close to you that you have to interact with on a regular basis, not some stranger unless its like stabbing someone or something super bad yeah don’t do that to a stranger). 2) insight, do you reflect on your actions and choose to do something different next time. Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes you do something and not realize how bad the consequences are or might not have known them. Or you did know it was going to hurt someone, but you had never experienced someone’s personal pain before. I have 2 people in my life that are ASPD. My best male friend and my sister. My sister leans into it and has turned out to be a really damaging person, physically, emotionally/mentally and financially. Now my friend was such a pain in the ass when we were in our early 20s. But I could see a huge change in him once I realized he had some kind of respect for me. He has really changed and developed as a person. You can totally tell he doesn’t’ give 2 shits about most people. But he does the right thing, he just isn’t going to be nice about it to the vast majority of people hell he isn’t always nice about it with me.
Can you please do a article on narcissistic hoovering or stalking of neurotypicals, why narcs stalk others, some go mimicking their personas or dress codes, why some abuse children via neglect, wearing masks, desire to destroy others they dont even know ect The secret to narcs who are finamcially successful.
Hey everybody. I am an empath. I feel other people’s emotions and even physical pain. I want to point out that a person is far more likely to cheat when they are able normal. Millions of people cheat and they have no disorders. Cheating is far more likely to happen when someone feels their needs not being met.
I had an ex who didn’t wanna live at home with her parents anymore, so made up this story how her entire family (99% of which weren’t even relevant cuz they moved out of her parent’s house) were plotting to ruin her life. I couldn’t pin down what disorder she had but knew she had something cuz she’d spin all of these hard to believe tales that made her out to be the victim. Does this sound more like the MO of a sociopath or narcissist?
*The motive is not to lose the relationship *Him being upset, or if i hurt him, it doesn’t affect me I worry when i get hurt —And you come up with the conclusion that this relationship is healthier than a neurotipical relationship What you’re doing is overcompensation to make it as closer as it could be to a normal healthy relationship and generalising that to be the whole aspd communities compared to the minority bad relationship of a neurotipical people I remember my psychopathic ex telling me that people hurt with emotions and that’s their justification While he’s hurting all the time with cold blood, and the singular time he does a good thing it’s not for me it’s only for him to not to lose the relationship that he eventually got bored of, you guys are serpents 😃 So don’t generalise doing your best to a healthy normal neurotipical person to satisfy your grandiosity and shitted superiority 😊
Madness. To take psychopath for partner? It is like choosing komodo dragon over a dog. Sure some people might like this idea, but we all can recognise that dogs with their emotions are superior and most relatable to humans. Actually I prefer company of dog to any psychopath. Poor man, getting manipulated on daily basis. But each to its own!
Sounds really exhausting 🤔 I could never be in a relationship with someone who don’t have my best interest at heart. It’s only about them. I can easily not understand it like they can not understand why the other person gets disappointed. ASP should find annother ASP. Would make sense no? They would understand each other. It seems to me that ASP don’t have emotional intelligent like neurptypical have. Which makes sense. So I would always feel like the ‘adult’ part who need to explain the smallest things which are for me just normal. Nah…need someone on the same level. But good for you if it works 🙂
I don’t think the cheating is something that she has to have to rectify. There are some guys who are turned on by the thought of there significant other sleeping with another man. If she was with a man like that her side activities would add excitement to the relationship. There’s someone for everyone.