The overstepping of boundaries is a common issue that can ruin a marriage, especially when the mother-in-law doesn’t agree with things within their child’s marriage and feels it is OK to voice their views. This type of overstepping typically occurs when the couple has kids and the mother-in-law always takes your partner’s side.
To deal with a manipulative mother-in-law, it is important to encourage your mother-in-law to get to know you and build a positive relationship with her. Some signs of a narcissistic mother-in-law include not respecting any boundaries, being overbearing about how they chose to celebrate their lives, and being overly involved in the family’s business.
When a man bonds with his in-laws, his wife gets the message that “your family is important to me because you are important to me.” However, when the wife feels close to her in-laws, she may be more likely to feel closer to them.
To save relationships from being ruined by a toxic mother-in-law, it is essential to avoid being critical and instead try to be positive, encouraging, and supportive in all interactions. It is crucial to learn how to manage your feelings and the situation is essential for a healthy relationship.
In summary, a toxic mother-in-law can cause significant damage to a marriage, particularly if their interference becomes persistent. To prevent this, it is essential to be a positive, supportive, and understanding mother-in-law who can help you navigate the challenges of a married life.
📹 Narcissistic In-laws: The Greatest Threat To Marriage
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How do mother-in-laws ruin marriages?
A mother-in-law can ruin a marriage by overstepping boundaries. Kelman said: They might disagree with their child’s marriage and think it’s OK to say so. Is your mother-in-law causing problems in your marriage? If you clash a lot with your mother-in-law, you’re not alone. In a 2022 study, people in the U.S. reported more conflict with mothers-in-law than with mothers. Mothers reported more conflict with their daughters-in-law than with their daughters. A study by Terri Apter, a psychologist and former senior tutor at Newnham College at Cambridge University, found that over two decades, more than 60% of women said their relationship with their female in-law caused them long-term unhappiness and stress.
Can mother-in-laws cause divorce?
Some families call their mother-in-law the “monster-in-law.” The stress parents-in-law can cause a couple is no joke. It can ruin a relationship. If you’re struggling, learning to manage your feelings and the situation is important for your well-being and your family. Many people hate their mother-in-law and father-in-law. Hating your in-laws is a leading cause of divorce. If you hate your in-laws, whether your husband’s or your wife’s, here are some steps to take. These will help you find a solution without ignoring the issues or being passive-aggressive. They will also help you learn how to set boundaries. Before you can deal with your in-law, you need to take a break to think about it. Find a quiet space to write down everything that has happened. Ask yourself the hard questions. Example: Should I divorce my wife? Should I divorce my husband? Is my mother-in-law narcissistic? Does my husband put his family first? Think about everything that has come to mind. Take your time to think about the list and your feelings. When you’re ready, you can look at it again in a calmer way. This will help you think more clearly about the situation.
What is a Gaslighting mother-in-law?
If she’s manipulative, she might lie to get what she wants. For example, she might make you look bad by giving you the wrong time for a family dinner. Then, when you show up late, she may say she gave you the correct time. Narcissists often overcompensate by acting superior to others. For example, she might say, “I wish you would thank me more for everything I do.” I keep this family together! “You’d be lost without me.”
Who comes first wife or mother?
Many married couples have trouble deciding who comes first, your spouse or your parents? Your spouse comes first. When you get married, you leave your parents. You don’t have to stop talking to them, but you have to adjust to the new dynamic. Be loyal to your spouse for a stronger marriage. Here are some things I hear on my show:
I’m afraid to say no to my parents. I can say no to my spouse, but not to my parents. My parents did nothing wrong. My spouse is overreacting.
What is a toxic mother-in-law?
What is a toxic mother-in-law? In any toxic relationship, people struggle to communicate. A toxic mother-in-law is always negative towards other family members.
Toxic Mother-in-Laws: 12 Signs of One; How to Deal With One; Effects of Having One; When to Seek Help; Conclusion; Additional Resources.
Tricia provides empathetic therapy in Illinois, focusing on anxiety, depression, and relationship challenges. Dr. Patel has been a family doctor for almost ten years. She treats patients of all ages. She is interested in women’s mental health, burnout, anxiety, and depression.
When your mother-in-law interferes in your marriage?
If your mother-in-law is too much for you, it may be time to see a therapist. If you worry about seeing your in-laws, therapy can help. What is an overbearing mother-in-law?Dealing with Overbearing Mothers-in-Law Signs of Being Overbearing Effects of Overbearing Mother-in-Law 9 Tips for Dealing with One; When to Get Help; Conclusion; Additional Resources; Infographics; Brooke is an expert in mood disorders, anxiety, narcissistic abuse, and BPD. She uses CBT, DBT, and ACT to help clients overcome challenges and live fulfilling lives.
Choosing Therapy aims to provide accurate, actionable mental health content. We have high standards for what we cite in our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other reliable sources of mental health journalism. Read our full editorial policy for more information.
Do couples get divorced because of in-laws?
Can Mother-in-Laws Ruin Relationships? Yes, but there are ways to save it. Wives often leave their husbands because of their mother-in-law. This is a sensitive situation that can quickly get worse if not handled carefully.
In such situations, there are often deep-seated emotional issues. Communication, empathy, and compromise help couples and mothers-in-law resolve conflicts.
Do people divorce because of in-laws?
Can Mother-in-Laws Ruin Relationships? Yes, but there are ways to save it. Wives often leave their husbands because of their mother-in-law. This is a sensitive situation that can quickly get worse if not handled carefully.
In such situations, there are often deep-seated emotional issues. Communication, empathy, and compromise help couples and mothers-in-law resolve conflicts.
Is it OK to avoid your mother-in-law?
If you can’t ignore your mother-in-law, just spend less time with her. Your spouse can go to family events without you. This may make your mother-in-law happier. Don’t feel the need to attend every event your mother-in-law is at. Don’t lie or ask your spouse to lie about why you can’t go to an event your mother-in-law is at. Just say you weren’t in the mood to go out. Lying makes it harder to be with your mother-in-law. Talk to your spouse about which events you can miss. You can also say you don’t want to go because you and your mother-in-law don’t get along. A good relationship is based on communication and compromise. If spending time with your mother-in-law makes you angry, try removing yourself from the conversation. Excuse yourself or ask someone nearby for their thoughts. This lets you leave the situation.
Do couples divorce because of in-laws?
Can Mother-in-Laws Ruin Relationships? Yes, but there are ways to save it. Wives often leave their husbands because of their mother-in-law. This is a sensitive situation that can quickly get worse if not handled carefully.
In such situations, there are often deep-seated emotional issues. Communication, empathy, and compromise help couples and mothers-in-law resolve conflicts.
What is the #1 reason married couples divorce?
What causes most divorces? Studies say the four most common reasons for divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity, too much conflict, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility.
19 Most Common Reasons for Divorce. 1. Too much conflict. No one wants a marriage where they argue all the time. How long could you stick it out when your home is more stressful than your worst day at work? In a good marriage, your spouse is your partner, your support, and your cheerleader.
Do marriages end because of in-laws?
In-law conflicts can make it harder to stay married. They don’t cause divorce, but they can make it more likely. To keep your marriage strong and healthy, you need to understand how in-laws affect you and work to resolve conflicts. Communication, setting boundaries, seeking help, and fostering empathy are good ways to deal with in-law relationships. If couples focus on their marriage and deal with in-law conflicts well, they can build a strong and lasting bond.
Names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy.
In-Laws and Divorce: The Verdict is in! That wraps up our look at in-laws and their effect on marriages. Let’s take a moment to think about what we’ve learned.
📹 My Mother-in-Law Is Ruining Our Marriage
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It’s never the mother-in-law ruining the marriage, it’s the spouse who is not setting boundaries with their mother that’s ruining the marriage. My mother-in-law is a nightmare, but it has no bearing on our marriage because my husband keeps her at a safe distance. Her and I have no relationship whatsoever, and it’s fantastic!
My best college friend married a wonderful woman but his mother disapproved of her, saying she wasn’t pretty enough, dressed poorly, didn’t cook well, etc. He told his mom they wouldn’t see her if this treatment continued. AT their wedding she said nasty things about her to anyone who would listen. My friend got her coat and said “I’m sorry you can’t stay, mom.” She protested that she wanted to stay, but her got her coat and drove her home. She fumed for a few months. Then they invited her to dinner. She hated all the food and said so openly. My friend, her son, got her coat and said “I’m sorry you can’t stay, mom.” She started arguing, but he responded with “no one speaks to my wife that way. Get out.” She tried to argue, but all he would say is “get out.” After a lot of crying and shouting, she left. They didn’t see her for more than a year, until she showed up when their baby was born. She was all smiles for a while, but she took her son aside and said “are you sure the baby is yours?” That was it. He made her leave and they haven’t seen her in several years. Some people never learn.
My MIL was a pain in my side from day one. No one was good enough for her son. She wore black to my wedding. When we found our house my husband purchased it with his money. She told him not to have me on the deed, not even to talk to them if there was a problem. He lost his job, twice, and I covered insurance, household bills, medical insurance. She critizied everything I did, never to my face, but to my husband and anyone else who listened.17 years later my husband died suddenly and she tried to take the house from me. Thank goodness for state laws or I would be homeless.
“You have a duty to keep yourself safe and feeling secure.” I needed to hear that. It continues to be a struggle having cut out an emotionally abusive family member, with guilt coming back up to the surface often. But at the end of the day you have to keep yourself safe from people who are constantly trying to emotionally attack you. Even if it’s your own mom/ mother in law.
We’ve quit spending time with my inlaws so that we can have peace. MIL had started literally whispering things about us into our kids ears, right in front of us. I don’t have parents, so we are very alone, but having peace is worth it! When my husband finally talked to his mother about her inappropriate behavior she yelled she can’t be wrong about anything because she’s highly esteemed in the Christian community, then she hung up on him.
My mother in-law was like this and it took her threatening to run me off and take our son away from us to get my husband to finally say nope I’m done. She’s old and divorced and it seemed like she hated her son and I for being happy. Mother in-laws are scary. My mother was so nice and supportive of us and I was so not ready for dealing with mother in laws. Growing up my mom was an angel I couldn’t imagine a mom being so evil but they’re real.
The in-law factor in a marriage can make or break a relationship, this is why I’m so glad my husband and I met and live in a different state from either of our families. I have always been very protective of my husband when it comes to my family, they’ve never disrespected him because I have made it clear that is not an option. On the flip side, I’ve made it clear to him I expect him to defend me when needed if I’m disrespected but if he chooses not to I’m going to defend myself and he may not like the results
It took me years to get this! I refuse to be around people that tolerate and not celebrate me. I refuse to be around people that disrespected me for years. I will not! If you don’t want to go, don’t. If you want to go, go! Ava, put yourself first. This makes me so angry. You deserve better for you and your children. Your children will see you demand respect.
I was in her shoes more than a year ago, and I had to end things with him as one of the issues we had was that he didn’t do anything when his mom would yell at me and belittled me. She was also rude to waiters and would rage at them. My ex would tell me it was his mother so he couldn’t say anything to her.
my mother in-law is vindictive, she’s a troublemaker, i honestly just tune her out, she tries to get to me thru my kids. I try not to speak ill or negative about her to d kids because i dont want them to not be kids but she uses her grandmother privileges to go into my kids heads. Worse thing I have a son before our marriage and she tries to influence my other kids to treat him differently. How do I set boundaries. To keep her out my kids life?