Should You Be Engaged Before Moving In?

Before moving in with your partner, it is essential to have honest conversations about your compatibility and goals. Some signs of compatibility include asking about the move’s meaning to each other and the collective future. Before moving in, clarify why you want to live together and consider the emotional realities of living with a significant other.

Research shows that most heterosexual couples live together before marriage, with approximately half (48%) of women aged 15-44 living together before getting engaged. About three in 10 Americans believe couples should wait at least a year before moving in, with 14% saying a couple should wait until they’re married before moving in together. For 17%, the earliest acceptable time is after dating for more than one year but less than two years.

Moving in before marriage is a big decision, and it is important to ask tough questions upfront to understand each other’s living style, long-term expectations, fears, and concerns. Living together before getting engaged can help lower risks after marriage, and there is no set time limit for when to propose to your partner. Research has shown that moving in together the right way is essential to a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship.

By the time you get engaged, both partners should be all in on marrying, as it is not necessary to marry just to resent their living style. It is okay to live together before getting married or engaged, and it is OK to have safe sex when you decide it is time.


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What is the 3 month rule?

The first three months of a relationship are about getting to know each other. You’re learning about each other’s interests, hobbies, values, and quirks. This is when you decide if there’s a strong attraction and compatibility. You’re learning about each other’s pasts, sharing experiences, and enjoying the romance.

Communication is important. You also have fun and create memories together. The first three months are the honeymoon phase, when you may see each other in a good light.

Are couples who live together before marriage more likely to divorce?

Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce. It seems strange, but studies show that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don’t.

Girlfriend wants to be engaged before moving in
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Is it OK to move in with your fiance before marriage?

At a Glance Many couples live together before marriage. There are pros and cons to consider. Cohabitating helps you get to know each other better and see if you’re compatible. But moving in together for the wrong reasons can lead to bigger problems. Read on to learn more about whether to live with your partner before marriage and the pros and cons of this arrangement.

Reasons for Living Together Before Marriage. People live together for many reasons. Couples usually live together to spend more time together, share expenses, and see if they’re compatible. For many couples, it’s a good way to see if they’re right for each other before getting married. Living together shows you a lot about a person. Sharing a space lets couples get to know each other better.

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How long should a couple be together before moving in together?

Q: How long do couples usually date before moving in together? A: There’s no set amount of time. Moving in with a partner is a personal decision. It’s never too soon or too late. A Stanford University study found that 25% of couples moved in together after four months, 50% after a year, and 70% after two years. Start the conversation months before you move in together so you have time to discuss finances, chores, and plans in case something goes wrong.

2. Decide where you’ll move and what you’ll bring. If you move into your partner’s house or apartment, be careful. “In an ideal world, it’s nice to move into a fresh space without any past memories,” says Minal Nebhnani, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor with Honest Space Psychotherapy. If someone is moving into someone else’s space, treat it as a new space. The person moving in should have a say about what stays and goes, how to decorate, etc. They should feel like it’s their space too.

Is 6 months too soon to move in together?

A Stanford University study found that 25% of couples moved in together after four months, 50% after a year, and 70% after two years. After four years of dating, 10% of couples still hadn’t moved in together. This shows that it’s mostly down to personal preference. Neha Prabhu, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in premarital counseling, says that when it comes to determining a time frame, why is more important than when. There is no one-size-fits-all timeline, she says. If you’re thinking about moving in together, be intentional. Think about why you want to move in together and how it would benefit your relationship.

Is it better to move in before or after marriage?

That difference is big. The report said that couples who lived together before getting engaged were 48% more likely to divorce than couples who didn’t live together before getting engaged. Those who moved in together to test their relationship or for financial reasons had the worst odds of staying married. Everybody does it. By the late 1990s, over 60% of high school students in the U.S. believed it was a good idea to live together before getting married. Now, 70% of couples live together before getting married.

What percent of couples move in together before marriage?

Nursery rhymes don’t reflect how couples live today. Once considered wrong, couples now live together before getting married. In 2019, 59% of adults aged 18 to 44 had lived with a romantic partner, compared to 50% who had ever been married. A 2021 analysis of National Survey of Family Growth data found that 76% of couples who married between 2015 and 2019 cohabited first. That was true of just 11% of couples who married between 1965 and 1974. On average, couples live together for over two and a half years before getting married. Cohabiting without marriage can make relationships difficult. Married couples report being more trusting and satisfied with their relationships than unmarried cohabiting partners, according to the Pew analysis. A 2023 report found that married couples who lived together before getting engaged or married were more likely to divorce than those who only lived together after getting married. This doesn’t mean marriage is better than cohabitation. Couples who talk about their future together have less confusion about their relationship. If couples don’t talk about moving in together, one person might be let down later. If one partner wants to get married and the other wants to save money, they’ll be disappointed. People who have made a commitment to each other are more likely to stay together.

Engagement before moving in
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Should you get engaged before you move in together?

Psychologists and DU psychology professors Galena Rhoades and Scott Stanley say their findings indicate that living together before being engaged can actually decrease a couples odds of a successful marriage.

Rhoades and Stanley used a representative sample of approximately 1,600 Americans who were married for the first time between 2010 and 2019. The study found that 34% of marriages ended among those who lived together before being engaged, while just 23% of marriages ended among couples who waited until after engagement or marriage to move in together.

The studys results are in line with similar research Rhoades and Stanley have conducted over the years. One might assume that as societal norms around living together before marriage or engagement have shifted, the statistics on related divorce rates may have also changed. But, Stanley says, thats simply not the case.

Are marriages more successful if you live together first?

Research shows that couples who live together before marriage are no more likely to have a successful marriage. Common sense says that more couples living together before marriage will have less impact on their marriages. This is not true. Even though social norms are changing, living together before marriage is still a risk factor for divorce and is linked to lower marital satisfaction. One downside of cohabitation before marriage is that it makes things more difficult. If you live with your partner before marriage, you’re less likely to break up if there are problems. Even if you’re not married, you’ve probably done at least one of these things: signed a lease together, moved your things to his/her home, got a pet together, purchased furniture together, and/or made a down payment on a vacation together. These things make it harder to break up, even if it’s the right thing to do. Another problem with living together before marriage is that one person is often more excited about the relationship than the other. Some couples don’t decide to move from dating to engaged or engaged to married.

Pros and cons of living together before marriage
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Is it a sin to live together before marriage?

The Church’s teaching on cohabitation is not arbitrary. Cohabitation before marriage is a sin because it goes against God’s commands and the Church’s laws. St. Paul lists this sin as one that can keep a person from reaching heaven (see 1 Corinthians 6:9). Cohabitation goes against our deepest desires and greatly increases the chances of a failed marriage. If you’re honest, you’ll see that separating before marriage is the right thing to do. It is a decision to follow Christ. That’s always the right choice. It’s a good decision for other reasons too. It will help:

Your marriage will be stronger, your friendship deeper, and you will communicate better. You will be better at solving problems and communicating. This will help your marriage succeed.

Consequences of living together before marriage
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Should I move in with my boyfriend before he proposes?

This used to be unusual, but times have changed. Almost 70% of marriages started in the late 1990s and early 2000s were “live-in” relationships. But as this situation has become more common, people who study relationships and families have warned about it. Many people think moving in together is a good test for marriage. But research shows that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don’t.

Over time, these findings have changed. But there are still things to think about before moving in with your partner. If you’re worried about divorce and relationship satisfaction, ask yourself these questions before moving in with your partner. Is it for convenience, to test the relationship, or out of a desire to spend more time together? The best reason is #3. People who move in together for this reason are usually happier in the long run.

Should I propose if we don't live together?
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Should I propose if we don’t live together?

3. You’ve been living together for a while. Sharing space and dealing with everyday life is a must for marriage. If you’re thinking of marrying someone you haven’t lived with, think again. Don’t do it. If you’ve been living together for a while and it’s going well, you probably know when to propose. Your partner doesn’t leave dirty dishes in the sink for weeks. That’s important.

4. She’s hinting. When you ask her to marry you, she should be ready. When she’s dropping hints, you’ll know when to propose. That’s right. If she mentions getting engaged often, she wants you to ask her to marry you.


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Should You Be Engaged Before Moving In
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Christina Kohler

As an enthusiastic wedding planner, my goal is to furnish couples with indelible recollections of their momentous occasion. After more than ten years of experience in the field, I ensure that each wedding I coordinate is unique and characterized by my meticulous attention to detail, creativity, and a personal touch. I delight in materializing aspirations, guaranteeing that every occasion is as singular and enchanted as the love narrative it commemorates. Together, we can transform your wedding day into an unforgettable occasion that you will always remember fondly.

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12 comments

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  • Living together before marriage frequently does not lead to marriage, because there is no sense of obligation, commitment and trust We often hear that by living together, they will learn more about each other, their habits, routine etc, but if we haven’t learned that when dating, this is just an excuse. Love and marriage are not just a paper that means nothing, and if a couple lives together before marriage, deep inside they know that they are not made one for another. And cohabitation is just a more acceptable word for fornication. It is a great article. I agree with you. Greetings from an Orthodox Christian. God bless.

  • Fascinating! I think I dodged a bullet. My husband and I were living together for 2years before we married. We have been married legally for 18years now, and just last month we said ‘yes’ to each other for the sacrament of holy matrimony. We’re very much in love still! But I guess our saving grace was that we were planning to get married before we moved in together. And for our autistic behinds, this already meant commitment! Though it is very fascinating to see that we both are much more sure and relaxed of each other now that we said our vows before God. Now we have a covenant that nothing can distroy. And we were not even aware we had something missing all those years!

  • I disagree, I think the issue is more complex than just cohabitation. And marriage does not imply commitment. Also, the core reason for marriage as described is simply a form of self manipulation. Stating that you are getting married to force yourself into commitment, less you embarrass yourself, community, your partnet or have to deal with complications of divorce. Tbh, I think cohabitation is good thing, understanding how another person functions when your constantly in their space prior to making a serious commitment like marriage is smart. If the relationship fails at cohabitation, it would have failed in marriage. And if you jump in marriage with the commitment described in the article, you are in essence forcing yourself to deal with relationship, instead of wanting to deal with the relationship. Commitment is also a two way street, a big issue with marriage is increased expectations, and not having the maturity to properly navigate a relationship to being with.

  • So how exactly is living together with a lease and combined lived and responsibilities easier to walk away from then say idk simply just dating someone and having your own place and having no sense of commitment other than a label? Personally I think marriage is a huge deal not to be taken lightly. So why just jump in when you don’t know everything you’re getting into? By this logic if you’re willing to commit to a relationship why date. There aren’t any real consequences of breaking up. Why not just marry when you decide you want to explore options so that you’re trapped and forced to make it work no matter what. Who wouldn’t want to be stuck in a loveless draining marriage?

  • Most people stay in bad relationships after cohabitating, and the reality that many people cohabitate and find themselves unhappy is proof society is building bad people. Not proof cohabitating is bad. If you’re unhappy cohabitating, you’re unhappy in marriage. Realizing your don’t like marriage before marriage, doesn’t stop people from getting married. And people being bad spouses, woman taught men won’t care for them so they need independence, and constant proof a woman can ruin your life after marriage as a man, creates a large deficit between the trust of men and woman. That’s the problem. We are anti family and anti relationship in America. We get what we built.

  • consider that men now have little reason to get married. they take all the risks unless the women has equal or close to it income and or career. this debate has been going on for decades. the problem with it as i see it is that it fails to take into account the culture change that has transpired over those decades. not to mention the data collected has limited ability to survey such large population. the key question is what is the marriage rate vs singles . less people may be not living together but not getting married as well

  • Perhaps the people in long term living together relationships might not be tempted to be mean to each other because the devil has already won. They should not live together without marriage. It is a win for the devil. So, why wouldn’t the devil encourage them to stay together in a relationship that should not be?

  • I agree with your premise with young people but find your premise somewhat off with older perhaps divorced individuals. As each of us were married before we couldn’t meet your criteria. We also did a lot of sleeping together prior to being married. I suppose we messed that idea up also. I can say we have been married over 40 years so something went right, huh?

  • Is this a Christian show or something? I get that if you’re coming from a religious background that you would have a bias toward cohabitation before marriage. But just because you have a specific set of beliefs does not mean that everyone else operates the same way. I cohabitate with my fiancé on and off throughout the week because we are saving up for a venue. Does that mean our relationship is doomed to fail? Lol so close-minded.

  • How would you define marriage as a committed covenant relationship between two people, that is flawed and i expected better from this website based on the work you have been doing over the period. With the bible as our manual and guide, we know that marriage is the exclusive committed covenant between a man and a woman. I don’t think we should be afraid to say the truth just as it is, no matter what the world believes to be “their right”. God is not an author of confusion, it takes a man and a woman to be joined together in marriage, period. You don’t have to sugar coat it.

  • I do not think the question was answered. I think he was clear in pointing to the pre-marital relationship avoiding sexual activity. But the question of the article is” “Is it wrong for engaged couples to live together?” I understand the assumption is made that those who live together are sleeping together but i would have loved to hear the TGC answer the question that was asked. Wonderful conversation in this article but uninformative to the question posed. IMO

  • I think his answer is very clear as he compares human romantic relationships with that between Jesus and the church. He is not beating around the bush at all! This 4:36 min article would be a 30 sec article if he just said yes and it would come across as very dogmatic. Also I like in the end he implies to avoid the risk of the couple to fall into temptation that weddings should not have to be delayed due to financial reasons if the ceremony and event was approached in one of the ways he suggested.