What Is Spiritual Abuse In Marriage?

Spiritual abuse is a form of psychological coercion that involves the use of religious texts or beliefs to exert power over another person. It can be subtle and can mask itself as religious practice. Signs of spiritual abuse include a husband exhibiting control-oriented behavior, a spouse manipulating or coercing the other using their spirituality, whether it’s religious scriptures, ideology, or exploitation by a religious leader.

Spiritual abuse is a close cousin to emotional abuse, but it is more profoundly wounding as it often leaves victims isolated from God. It uses God and His Word to dominate and scold, making it difficult for victims to find it hard to heal. Spiritual abuse can be overt or covert, and it can be physical, sexual, or emotional.

Recognizing the signs of spiritual abuse and taking steps to address and heal from it is crucial for the restoration of a healthy and loving marital relationship. Love should never be coercive, and spiritual abuse in marriage or other romantic relationships is less well-known than physical domestic violence.

Spiritual abuse occurs when someone uses spiritual or religious beliefs to hurt, scare, or control the other person. This can be accomplished through forcing someone to follow a particular religious script, restricting or mocking someone’s beliefs, or using beliefs to limit and control the other person.

Intimate partnerships or marriages are common targets for spiritual abuse, which can involve ridiculing or insulting the other person’s religious or spiritual beliefs, preventing the other partner from practicing their beliefs, or using their beliefs to manipulate or shame them. Spiritual abuse can also involve manipulating religious texts or beliefs to justify abusive behavior, perpetuating a cycle of violence.

What is an example of spiritual manipulation?

A religious or spiritual leader using their position to pressure, insult, or ridicule someone’s beliefs. Raffaello Antonino, a counseling psychologist and senior lecturer at London Metropolitan University, England, says spiritual abuse often happens in situations of shared psychosis.

“This is a complex phenomenon. It involves two people. One is the initiator. They are usually overtly psychotic. They often have religious and spiritual overtones,” he explains. The other person is usually vulnerable and interested in spirituality.

What is spiritual narcissistic abuse?

• They act superior: Holier than thou is a common term for how a spiritual narcissist presents. Thats because they believe they are more evolved than other people. They may look down upon those who dont share their beliefs or level of spiritual understanding, says Hafeez.
• Lack of empathy: A spiritual narcissist may act outwardly nice, but their behavior shows they arent impacted by how others feel.
• The use of religion/spirituality as a manipulative tool: Rather than keep their spiritual practice to themselves, a spiritual narcissist weaponizes it to control or harm others. They may shame, humiliate, or use their spiritual knowledge to exert power over others, says Hafeez.
• Criticism through the veil of spirituality: Spiritual narcissists may use their spiritual beliefs to criticize and tear down others who dont share their level of spiritual understanding or beliefs, Hafeez tells us.
• Validation seeking behavior: Like other types of narcissists, spiritual narcissists seek validation for their behavior. The difference is typically that theyre seeking validation for their spiritual or religious practices, or the acts they perform under the guise of those practices. This can also include seeking praise.
• Toxic positivity and lack of responsibility: A spiritual narcissist is happy to take credit for good actions, but likely wont own up to negative ones. Additionally, theyll encourage you to only focus on the positive elements of any situation, and may accuse you of being a negative person or not a true believer if youre experiencing something terrible you cant just shake off.
• *Everyday Examples. Chances are that youve encountered a spiritual narcissist at some point in your life. Hafeez says these are the varying ways in can present in daily life: *Attention seeking behavior, such as someone who needs to be the center of attention even at a spiritual or religious gatherings: This could include someone who is constantly snap chatting during prayer circles or meditation classes or someone who establishes or leads cult-like groups where they exert control over their followers under the guise of spiritual authority. These individuals may demand absolute loyalty and obedience, exploiting their followers for personal gain or ego gratification.
• Superiority or a Holier-than-Thou Attitude: Individuals with spiritual narcissism may adopt an attitude of superiority or condescension towards others who they perceive as less spiritually evolved. This can involve judgment around your behaviors, judging or looking down upon those who dont adhere to their spiritual beliefs or practices.
• Placing beliefs on you when you havent asked or even given permission for that to be done: Whether that means saying youre going to hell if you dont attend their church or proselytizing at you without your permission, a spiritual narcissist wont have good boundaries around your lack of interest.
• Spiritual Materialism: This occurs when individuals use their spiritual beliefs or practices as a means of acquiring material wealth, status, or power. For instance, someone might flaunt their expensive spiritual retreats or possessions as a sign of their enlightenment or superiority.
• Using Spirituality for Validation: Some individuals may use their spiritual beliefs or practices to seek validation or attention from others. They may constantly talk about their spiritual experiences or insights in order to gain admiration or approval.
• Manipulating Others: Spiritual narcissists may manipulate others by using spiritual language or concepts to justify their actions or control those around them. They might employ guilt or shame to coerce others into conforming to their beliefs or desires.
• Spiritual Bypassing: This involves using spiritual beliefs or practices to avoid dealing with difficult emotions or personal issues. Instead of facing their own shortcomings or struggles, individuals may use spirituality as a shield to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or seeking necessary help.
• Grandiosity and Self-Importance: Spiritual narcissists often exhibit grandiose beliefs about their own spiritual superiority or enlightenment. They may see themselves as special or chosen individuals with a unique connection to the divine, while disregarding the perspectives and experiences of others.
• Lack of Empathy: Despite espousing spiritual values like compassion and empathy, spiritual narcissists may lack genuine empathy towards others. They may be dismissive of others struggles or hardships, focusing instead on their own spiritual achievements or aspirations.

What is spiritual violence?

Spiritual violence is when someone uses someone else’s beliefs to control them. Spiritual violence includes: • Not letting the person follow their spiritual or religious tradition.

What are some examples of spiritual abuse?

Spiritual Abuse at Home: Any use of religion, faith, or beliefs to control someone is spiritual abuse. This can happen in a religious organization or in a personal relationship. Spiritual abuse happens in many religions and groups. It can happen in any religious group. Domestic violence can happen in any relationship, no matter the age, gender, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, or location. Abuse is when one person controls another using fear, intimidation, violence, or other harm. Abuse can cause serious problems with your mental health. Abuse is never your fault.

What is the behavior of a toxic wife?

Disrespectful behavior towards your partner is toxic. Name-calling, belittling, and dismissive behavior can hurt your partner’s feelings. It makes you feel worthless, ashamed, and guilty. Respect and kindness are important in a relationship. If you and your partner ignore each other, it can be a sign of a toxic marriage. Not talking to each other can make you feel lonely. It can make you feel alone and unloved. Spend quality time with your partner and show them you care. Physical abuse is a sign of a toxic marriage. If you or your partner is being abusive, get help. Physical abuse can cause serious injuries and even death. Tolerating physical abuse is never okay.

What are the psychological effects of spiritual abuse?

People who lose trust, distrust, and relationships often feel isolated. On the emotional level, people feel guilty, ashamed, helpless, and hopeless. Anxiety, sadness, loneliness, and anger can spread. Those affected may have trouble thinking critically and questioning, making decisions, or planning for the future. Finally, there is the spiritual level. Spiritual abuse can ruin faith, the image of the Church, the image of God, and the relationship with God.

How to handle a cruel wife?

If your wife insults you, say, “Don’t call me names.” If you keep doing it, I’ll leave. Try to say the boundary when the behavior happens so there’s no confusion. Most abusive spouses have signs that show when abuse might happen. Your wife may hit you more when she’s drinking. If you see a trigger, leave. Leave the home and go somewhere safe. If you can’t leave, go to a room with a door that locks until your wife either leaves or calms down.

What is spiritual trauma?

When your beliefs are used against you. Your spirituality should heal you. Your worship and connection to the world should be joyful. Not everyone has that experience. Not every congregation, church, or worship space is loving, accepting, or healthy. For some, their religious upbringing can be traumatic. This is called “spiritual trauma” or “religious trauma.” It often comes from religious abuse.

This can come from individuals or the community. A person can experience spiritual trauma from religious leaders, parents, or community members. Examples of spiritual or religious abuse include:

Beliefs can be used to embarrass, shame, or humiliate you. They can also be used to exploit you financially, physically, or sexually. They can also be used to justify abuse or keep you in an abusive relationship. They can also be used to isolate you or threaten to isolate you if you leave the spiritual community. They can also be used to belittle other belief systems. They can also be used to discriminate against your gender, race, or sexuality. Spiritual abuse can block spirituality. Spiritual abuse can harm victims. It can make it hard to want to explore spirituality because it’s so painful. It can also make a person feel lost and confused. Betrayal affects you deeply. Spirituality is an important part of a person’s life. Many people find healing in a higher power. That part of yourself can be lost. Even if you are abused spiritually, you can heal and reconnect.

What is spiritual gaslighting?

Spiritual gaslighting is when someone uses spiritual beliefs, practices, or experiences to make you doubt yourself. What is spiritual gaslighting? This manipulation can be harmful and is often used to control, gain power, or dismiss someone’s personal spiritual experiences. Some signs of spiritual gaslighting include:

Making the individual feel like they are to blame for not being spiritual enough, and that they cannot forgive or heal. They think they know everything and don’t listen to others. Blames the individual for their health issues because they don’t have enough spirituality. Dismissing someone’s spiritual experiences. Blaming someone’s problems on their past actions. Believing there is only one right spiritual path and that others are wrong or less valuable. They encourage complete devotion to a spiritual group, like a cult. Making the individual feel guilty for anything that happens to them. Spiritual gaslighting can make people feel lost, disconnected, and unsure of their own spiritual experiences. Know these signs and stay true to yourself on your spiritual journey. Seek guidance and support from sources that encourage understanding, freedom, and personal growth.

How to spot a spiritual narcissist?

Spiritual Narcissist Traits:

Author: Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, LCPC, LPC, LMHC, NCC Dr. Suzanne has over 20 years of experience counseling for trauma, transitions, anxiety, depression, and relationship issues. She uses a humanistic approach.

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What is the walk away wife syndrome?

What to do if you think your spouse might leave. Walkaway wife syndrome is more than just a phase. It’s the end of the relationship. Your wife has checked out. What can you do when your wife no longer loves you? Can you resolve your issues, or is it too late? Think about yourself. Why do you want to save your marriage? You may have checked out too. Do you still love each other? Respect? Are you committed? Or is it just a convenience? Maybe you’ve been afraid to let it go. Know your reasons. If you still love and commit to each other, you’ll need to work at it. If not, it’s time to move on. Don’t waste your time.

Talk honestly. Don’t beg. You missed your chance. Just listen. Stop justifying yourself. Think about what she says from her point of view, even if you disagree. You’re at a crossroads. You may feel betrayed, but she has felt abandoned by you for a long time. If you want to save your marriage, don’t make her feel worse. Just. Listen.