The mother-in-law of the bride should wear a classy yet modern ensemble that reflects her personal style while adhering to the formality of the event. A well-tailored dress or chic pantsuit can be a great choice, depending on the dress code of the wedding. The mother-of-the-groom should wear colors that look nice on her and complement the wedding colors, but not necessarily the wedding theme colors.
When it comes to makeup and hair, the mother-in-law should aim for a polished and sophisticated look that enhances her natural features. Soft, neutral makeup tones and a classic hairstyle can complement the outfit and create a cohesive overall look. It is important to consider the season and venue of the wedding when choosing the outfit.
The mother-in-law should avoid choosing a dress in the same color as the bridesmaids attire, the mother of the brides dress, or the wedding gown. Instead, she should pick a shade that flatters her and won’t clash with the other women’s clothing in the photographs. It is traditional to avoid white, ivory, or cream dresses so that the mothers-in-law doesn’t wear the same shade as the bride.
On the actual wedding day, the mother-in-law can take on the major responsibilities of helping round up guests before the reception. They should also help organize the rehearsal dinner and coordinate with the mother-in-law and groom. Both the mother-of-the-bride and groom should select dresses that are similar in style and length and complementary to the wedding color palette and theme.
📹 Mother In Law DEMANDS To Wear Wedding Dress To OWN SON’S WEDDING – REACTION
Hey ya’ll! Today on my channel we are reacting to. aviral story about a mother in law who wanted to wear her old wedding dress …
What should groom’s mom wear to a wedding?
The Best Colors for Mothers of the Groom. If your son lets you choose your day-of look, choose a color that matches the dress code, venue, and season. Jewel tones and earthy hues like emerald green and burgundy work well, as do black and navy. Valiente also says to wear a flattering color that matches the wedding colors. However, it’s a good idea to ask your son and his partner for ideas. Some couples ask their parents to coordinate with the wedding party. Check with the couple before you start shopping. Avoid these colors for mothers of the groom. Avoid white or colors that resemble the bride’s wedding outfit. Avoid blush, beige, or other light neutral tones that may appear lighter on camera. Unless asked, don’t match the bridal party colors, says Valiente.
What should the mother of the groom not do?
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The focus area is outlined.BfmEZb{border:2px solid;border-color:#1558d6}.uhHOwf{position:relative}.uhHOwf::after{background-color:rgba(0,0,0,0.03);bottom:0;content:;display:block;left:0;pointer-events:none;position:absolute;right:0;top:0}.uhHOwf img{display:block}.BYbUcd{overflow:hidden}.BYbUcd img{height:100%;width:100%}.B68O1d{background-color:rgba(0,0,0,0.54)} .u9iNfb{margin-left:-20px}.ZGh7Vc{display:inline-block;margin-top:6px}.di3YZe{font-size:16px;margin-bottom:20px;line-height:1.375;font-family:Google Sans, Arial, sans-serif}.RqBzHd{padding:0 20px}.TrT0Xe{margin-bottom:4px}.co8aDb{margin-bottom:12px}.i8Z77e .TrT0Xe{list-style-type:disc}.X5LH0c .TrT0Xe{list-style:inherit}.truncation-information:link,.truncation-information:visited{color:var(–JKqx2);font-size:14px;line-height:1.58; .co8aDb{font-family:Google Sans, Arial, sans-serif}. XZAt2e{font-size:14px;display:inline-block;padding-top:10px;margin-left:-20px}. Od5Jsd{display:inline-block;font-size:12px;line-height:1.34;color:var(–IXoxUe);margin-top:6px}.RV1HN{display:inline-block;font-size:14px;color:var(–IXoxUe);margin:5px}.FV85tb{font-size:12px;margin:0;margin:4px}.TK6JBe{font-size:12px;font-color:var(–IXoxUe);padding:4px}.BqZivd{margin:4px;font-size:10px}.Q29QOb{padding:5px}.FObuKc{border:1px solid;border-radius:8px;margin:0 -20px}.RbVal{text-decoration:underline}.vHWNec{color:var(–bbQxAb);display:flex;padding:8px 16px}.GvDv7e{padding-right:A mother-of-the-groom shouldn’t overshadow the bride’s mother. … Don’t act like a bridesmaid. Don’t be too critical. Don’t steal the bridesmaid’s spotlight. … Don’t invite extra guests. … Attend the pre-wedding events.
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- 8 Things the Mother-of-the-Groom Should Never Do
Want to be a great mother-of-the-groom? Here’s what you shouldn’t do before and on your son’s wedding day. Your son’s wedding is coming up, and you’re happy. You’re really happy. You’ve already secured your spot as a VIP guest, but you don’t want to upset your future daughter-in-law during the planning process or on the big day. A mother-of-the-groom should avoid acting like a bridesmaid and making empty offers.
Does the groom’s mother get ready with the bride?
Where does the mother of the groom get ready for the wedding? This question has more than one answer. It’s common for the groom’s mom to be with the bride the morning of the wedding. Manda Worthington, an event planner and founder of Mae&Co, says the mother of the groom often gets ready with the mother of the bride in the bridal suite. Creative. Every situation is different. If you think getting ready with your future mother-in-law will be tense, let her do her own thing. There shouldn’t be a rule about how to do things. If the mother of the groom gets ready elsewhere, that’s fine! Worthington says. If you want to get ready with your future mom, ask her first. If she says she wants to get ready somewhere else, don’t take it personally. Maybe she has a hairstylist or makeup person she trusts and would rather get ready at home. You can invite her for a mimosa after she’s dressed, or involve her in other ways before the wedding.
Get pedicures with her or invite her to important appointments, like dress shopping or meetings, Worthington suggests. Again, it depends on the relationship! At the end of the day, it’s up to you. Whatever makes you both comfortable is the right answer.
What is the mother in laws role in a wedding?
The rehearsal dinner. Traditionally, the groom’s family throws the rehearsal dinner, so it’s expected that the mother-in-law will take responsibility. Plus, she’ll be happy to take control of one aspect of the wedding. She’s in charge of everything, says Swan. If you don’t want to give up control, suggest locations and send her some vendors.
Guest List. The bride and groom should decide the guest list, but your parents should have a say if they’re paying for the wedding. You probably don’t want to find all your future relatives’ contact info, so this is a good task to delegate. Ask her to provide lists of names and addresses for relatives and friends you want to invite. She can also help track down people who don’t respond. Be as specific as possible. Tell her how many guests you’d like to invite. A sample script: We have 40 people from your family we’d like to invite. You know who you want there, so please help us. Wedding dress shopping. This one has a catch. If you’re OK with her joining you as you look for the perfect dress, it’s a nice gesture, but not required. If you think she’ll make you feel bad, it’s probably not a good idea. King suggests planning a date to look for her wedding outfit. Schedule appointments at a few boutiques and set aside time for lunch. The pro says, “Show her your wedding plans.” Ask your MIL about her wedding day! You might get some great ideas or find traditions you want to keep.
Can a mother of groom wear the same color as a mother of bride?
The mother of the groom should avoid choosing a dress in the same color as the bridesmaids, the mother of the bride, or the wedding gown. She should choose a color that flatters her and doesn’t clash with the other women’s clothes in the photos. The mother of the bride usually chooses her outfit first, then tells the mother of the groom about the colors. You might also have suggestions. Tell the mothers about any accent colors or provide a fabric swatch of the bridesmaids’ dresses. Pale pinks, greens, and blues are popular colors, but black is only for fancy weddings. Your mother-in-law’s final choice should be influenced by the style of the bridesmaid dresses, not the style of the bridesmaid gown.
Do the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom have to wear the same length dress?
Can the mother of the groom wear a short dress if the mother of the bride wears long? Yes. If the mother of the bride wears long, you don’t have to. If you don’t like long dresses. Choose something that coordinates with the formality of a long dress so you don’t feel too casual. What about the stepmother of the bride or groom? If you’re a stepmother, you’re an important part of the wedding party. You’ll probably wear the same style and formality of dress as the mothers. If you can, talk to the mothers about style, color, and formality. If you need help, ask the bride.
What not to wear as mother of the groom?
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How should the mother of the groom wear her hair?
Match your hairstyle to your dress. If you’re wearing a simple dress, you might choose an intricate updo or a half-up style with waves. If your dress is elaborate, go for a sleek updo with a bun or chignon on your nape. Think about comfort. While you want to look glamorous, comfort should be considered when choosing a hairstyle. An uncomfortable or complicated hairstyle could distract you throughout the day and night. Choose a style that’s easy to maintain and won’t give you headaches during events like photos or dances. Accessorize with hair accessories like pins, combs, barrettes, pearls, flowers, or tiaras to make your hairstyle unique. Choose accessories that match your dress to tie everything together. It’s not easy to choose the right hairstyle for a wedding, but if you keep these tips in mind, you’ll look stunning on your son’s wedding day. Hair length and texture vary from person to person. Wedding hairstyles for mothers of the groom or bride can accommodate different lengths and textures of hair.
What color should the mother of the groom not wear?
Color Coordination and Etiquette: What should the groom’s mother wear? What color should the groom’s mother wear to a wedding? The mother of the groom should avoid wearing white, black, or the same color as the bridal party. Modern weddings are more flexible. It’s best to discuss preferences with the couple. What color can the mother of the groom wear? Choose colors that match the wedding colors. Jewel tones, pastels, and navy are popular choices that photograph well.
Dress style and comfort. Your comfort is important. Look for styles that fit your body and let you move freely. Choose a dress that reflects your personal style and fits well. This is a long day. Choose a fabric and cut that will be comfortable from the ceremony to the reception.
Does the groom’s mother give the bride a gift?
The mother of the groom usually brings a gift for the bride to the bridal shower. It can be something small and thoughtful. If she can’t attend the shower, she can host her own. Ask the bride if this is okay.
Final Thoughts. As the mother of the groom, the best way to help your son on his big day is to ask how you can help. If you’re ready to shop for a mother of the groom dress, visit your local Val Stefani retailer.
What should mother in law get for bride?
.u9iNfb{margin-left:-20px}.ZGh7Vc{display:inline-block;margin-top:6px}.di3YZe{font-size:16px;margin-bottom:20px;line-height:1.375;font-family:Google Sans, Arial, sans-serif}.RqBzHd{padding:0 20px}.TrT0Xe{margin-bottom:4px}.co8aDb{margin-bottom:12px}.i8Z77e .TrT0Xe{list-style-type:disc}.X5LH0c .TrT0Xe{list-style:inherit}.truncation-information:link,.truncation-information:visited{color:var(–JKqx2);font-size:14px;line-height:1.58}.c2xzTb .co8aDb{font-family:Google Sans, Arial, sans-serif}.XZAt2e{font-size:14px;display:inline-block;padding-top:10px;margin-left:-20px}.Od5Jsd{font-size:12px;line-height:1.34;color:var(–IXoxUe);margin-top:6px}.rvIhN{font-size:14px;color:var(–IXoxUe);margin-left:5px;margin-right:5px}.FV85tb{font-size:12px;margin:4px top, 0 bottom}.TK6JBe{font-size:12px;color:var(–IXoxUe);padding:4px left}.BqZivd{margin:4px right, 4px left;font-size:10px}.Q29QOb{padding-right:5px}.FObuKc{border:1px solid var(–mXZkqc);border-radius:8px;margin:0 -20px}.RbVal{text-decoration:underline}.vHWNec{color:var(–bbQxAb);display:flex;padding:8px 16px}.GvDv7e{padding-right:4px} Top bridal shower gift ideas from the mother of the groom: Personalized Photo Print Leatherbound Family Recipe Book Exclusive Le Creuset Casserole Dish Acacia Wood Cake Stand Wedding Keepsake Library I Do Perfume Love Knot Keepsake Box Blue Crystal Tennis Bracelet.
We have included third-party products to help you enjoy life’s biggest moments. If you buy something through this page, we may get a commission. Weddings bring two families together. For parents, this means welcoming a new family member. A gift from the mother of the groom can help. What do you get to show how much you love this future family member? A good gift for the bride from the groom’s mother is practical and thoughtful. We’ve rounded up the best gifts for your daughter-in-law for her bridal shower.
📹 Mother-in-Law Wants to Wear White to Wedding
The ladies have varying opinions on this wedding day dilemma for a bride whose mother-in-law wants to wear white to her …
I read an article about a bride who actually requested that everyone wear their own wedding dresses so they’d have a chance to wear them more than once in their lifetime. She assured them that it was okay, and that she’d still stand out, but didn’t reveal what her dress would look like. She wore a red dress and definitely stood out among all the white, and it made for really nice pictures and a thoughtful gesture. Loved this idea! FMIL can suck it though. 😠
I love it when narcissists say, “How dare you expose me! YOU made me look bad!” Um no, you made yourself look bad by your deplorable behavior. If you don’t want people to think you’re a horrible person then don’t act like one. Your loved ones are not obligated to protect you from the natural consequences of your own behavior.
I actually successfully convinced my best friend to dodge her own controlling psycho mother by eloping at the local courthouse wearing exactly what she wanted to wear instead of what her mom was trying to guilt her into. It was just the two of them, they took some Polaroid selfies and attached one to each of the notices they sent out afterward letting everyone know they’d already tied the knot. She was SO much happier for it, and I’m just glad she mustered up the strength to give that one big shove so she could have the nice quiet wedding of her dreams. 🖤
Honestly when the bride said that her husband to be is a momma’s boy I was like,,oof a momma’s boy, no girl drop that and run for the hills” but then, I was proven wrong, he was completely on the side of his bride and even called his mother out on her bs, I feel bad for jumping to a conclusion about him now and I have nothing but mad respect for the groom.
The MIL is obviously heinous, but seeing her fiance stand his ground, (and stand with his future wife) tells me that he’s not a “momma’s boy.” When you marry a person, you’re NOT marrying his family. I wish people would stop saying that. My inlaws have been HORRIBLE from day one. I married him anyway. 19 years ago. They are simply allowed a tiny role in our lives now. Stop telling her to walk away from a great man that has her back 💯 and obviously loves her. He has already chosen HER over his mother.
Ok, hear me out: My eldest son is getting married in October. I told my soon to be DIL and her family that I might show up in an inflatable T-Rex costume. They laughed, but mention it any time wedding details are brought up. I might just have to buy an inflatable T-Rex costume, and I’m not mad about it. 😂
My wedding took place last week and my mother-in-law did wear WHITE – at least not a real wedding dress but a cocktail one. 😂 I had been trying so hard to avoid this and I was so kind to her by explaining how everyone will be wearing blue, etc… but she insisted and her son (my husband) was okay with that, so I couldn’t do anything. The best part is that I didn’t even notice her on the day itself. I was so happy and glowing – marrying the love of my life and being surrounded by my family and best friends was so much more important. ❤ If any other future bride is going through this, don’t stress too much about it. Whatever your future MIL wears, she couldn’t ever ruin this day for you, unless you let her. 🤗
Ordinarily, I’d advise running a mile from this wedding, but I like the husband-to-be. He didn’t make any excuses for his mother’s behavior and called her on it. Future MIL sounds like a nightmare, anyway, so the couple should go ahead and have exactly the wedding that suits them and if that means minus reception or minus his mother, then so be it. What would they be missing?
My mom worked at a bridal shop for about 20 years before I was born and always tells me stories of demanding brides. mothers, etc. I can’t get over how many people in this world can’t let someone else have their special day lol. She never saw anything quite to this extreme I don’t think! I need updates on this, girl
Okay I just have to say the bride handled this situation AMAZINGLY!! Like I am so shocked that she was able to so calmly and articulately message the mom. The messages she sent to the mom were completely reasonable and she worded everything so kindly. She literally did a phenomenal job dealing with this crazy ass woman . And I’m so glad her fiancé stuck up to his mother to support her. I’m sure they will make a beautiful couple.
My father’s parents were an awful lot like the people in this article. My grandma tried to invite all of her friends to what was basically the German version of a Bachelorette/Bachelor pre-wedding party, as well as the wedding reception itself. She also DISINVITED people my mother actually wanted there (in my mom’s name, of course), tried to control every aspect of place, decor and whatnot, and made my parents miss their own wedding reception because she took literal hours taking pictures of them. The pictures are pretty funny, btw, at first it was this beautiful couple happy and in love, and after then it slowly turns to them glaring at the photographer – in about a hundred or so pictures included in her final album. As soon as my brother and I entered the picture, she completely lost it. It was always HER grandkids, that needed to see HER friends, (without the parents being involved). After a completely traumatic and almost lethal birth for both mother and child, her first comment to my mother was that she should better not let that be an excuse for not having a second baby. She also disinvited her own mother to the baptism and told her it was my parents’ choice to not have her there. Needless to say, my parents broke off contact to them on multiple occasions.
Thank god in Indian weddings this is usually never a problem. As far as I know, there are no restrictions to the guests about what they wear, infact the more dressed up, the better….its pretty difficult to outshine an Indian bride because they are decked with jewelry which depending on their religion/culture it might be passed down from family or gifted from in-laws/ family etc plus hair, makeup and the intricate/heavy designs on bridal sarees or lehengas.
The main problem with the wedding is that Mother can threaten to back out of paying at any time up until the wedding. OP and fiancé should scale things way back to what they (and bride’s family) can afford, then they can tell Mother to go chase herself if she’s going to act up. I also love the all-the-wedding dresses idea! It would really be fun to see the decades represented that way as this couple begins their story together.
The bride could always be “overly enthusiastic” about the dress. When the mil shows up in the dress, the bride could make sure to pull the mil up front, and in front of everyone just gush over her and her dress, making sure to compare the mil’s old and well worn dress to her new and fabulous one. Make sure to say just how brave the mil is to wear something that looks so plain and old. Just “kill her with kindness” 😈🤣
So here’s what you do when a crazy person wants to wear a wedding dress that isn’t the bride. Get your guests to all wear white dresses and have the bride wear a colorful wedding dress so that she stands out. This will make the crazy person blend in and the bride get more attention. Plus you get a fun, creative, and unique wedding experience.
set up a hidden cam and a big screen on the venue and if she dares to show up in that wedding dress of hers the guest can vote on A) letting her in B) make her go home or C) WINE SQUAD! which means she gets surrounded by a group of volunteers with water guns filled with red wine! she wants to be the star of the show so lets give her that chance 😈
Just once, I want to see the reaction to a mother-in-law trying to wear a wedding dress to somebody else’s wedding to be the bride secretly telling ALL of the women attending the wedding that they should wear wedding dresses or at least fancy white dresses. And then obviously not have the mother-in-law in a single photo. Bride wears a colored dress.
Thats awful! If a man cannot disconnect from his mother and now choose his wife and support her this maybe a rocky marriage. I don’t know her details, maybe she just needs to have a very hard very honest conversation and know that he will not put up with his mothers BS. Because thats all that was Straight up shenanigans
The way the Groom to be handled it though, Hubby Material (respectful and firm), and the Bride to be for that matter too. Monster-in-law’s behaviour aside, this couple is truly nailing the commitment and support to and for each other way before the wedding bells chime. This is how people flourish and stay together and in a world where everyone likes talking about red flags in a relationship, well it’s nice to see the magical green flags we were all afraid were dying out.
Props to her for still fitting into her old wedding dress, but she needs to find something appropriate. If she doesn’t put her foot down over this now, her monster-in-law will be taking over her married life from this day forward. Sounds like it’s either time to elope or time to cut momma’s boy loose. OR “accidently” spill paint all over it.
Girl, if he is an “absolute mama’s boy” who can’t even stand up to his mother and something like this, you need to pump the brakes and look at this situation objectively. Nine times out of 10 it does not get any better. This battle is just the beginning. That initial set of texts is your cue to run and to run far and fast.
I don’t know what kind of person this makes me, and honestly I’m comfortable with it. After the initial messaging where she made her intentions VERY clear, I would’ve gone into stealth mode. Step 1. Plan visit to her home. Step 2. While she’s visiting with her precious son, procure old wedding dress from its storage location in home. Step 3. Quickly stuff it into extra empty bag you brought specifically for this purpose. Step 4. GTFO of that house with that dress ASAP. Step 5. Dealer’s choice: hide it until after the wedding, dye it black, or destroy it in fire ceremony while chanting a curse for the afterlife. 🤜🏼🖐🏼🎤
This is such an interesting cultural difference. In our culture, repeating your wedding outfit is considered a compliment to the person who’s now getting married. You wear your most special outfit to those people’s weddings whom you consider to be special to you. It just adds a layer of meaning to the way you participate. And no, brides don’t get insecure because of it, because all eyes are on them anyway. Everyone’s looking their best and happy.
You know what… wearing a wedding dress to somebody else’s weddig is messed up but I avoid conflict at all cost. If my MIL insisted that much on wearing that dress I would just let her do whatever she wants, it’s not like she’s going to look better than I, besides, everyone is going to think she’s a bitch anyways.
Oh how good ideas! Turn your wedding into a princess ball, everyone in luxurious dresses, wear a really big and bright red one, in China they wear red, if I’m not mistaken and novels are right! Or do thematic wedding, one where wearing white would be really strange! Like a Harry Potter one, with people in their houses’ colors.
Lucky for that last one the crazy was right out in the open BEFORE the wedding. I was 2 years into my marriage before my M/FIL’s true colours finally manifested in all their awful glory. I’ve been married to my wonderful SO for 13 years and honestly every visit now makes me wonder if getting a support dog for the anxiety would help. Then I remember how my MIL treated her daughter’s dog and change my mind.
If I was that bride, I’d call off the wedding and leave. I understand that she loves him and wants to be with him but at what cost? The cost of her peace and sanity??? That lady will continue on with her shenanigans for as long as she’s in her son’s life. It will be birthdays, baby showers etc that she will try to control and the fact that she’s cursing out and demeaning the bride as well as the bride’s family is just crossing the line. It would not be fair for the bride to give him the ultimatum and tell him it’s either his mom or her because it could later on turn into resentment that she made him choose, instead she should just remove herself from the equation by saying something along the lines of “I love you and I had intentions to spend the rest of my life with you, however I have boundaries and expectations that are being violated with this toxic relationship with your mother. I have to put myself first, with that your mother’s behavior is deplorable and I can’t tolerate the way she chooses to disrespect me and my family. I want us both to be happy, fulfilled and safe however, this situation is becoming out of control and there’s too many boundaries being crossed that I must step away. It would be unfair for me to make you chose between your mother or me therefore, we can’t go through with this marriage because I don’t want this same boundary crossing to carry on in our marriage and with everything we decide to do in life” and IF he loves her enough that he doesn’t want to lose her then, he’d have the idea himself to go no contact with his mom on his own, or… he looses his fiancé indefinitely and the next time he falls in love with another woman he puts his mom in her place immediately and let her know if you treat her the way you treated my ex, we’re done!
I read a story online somewhere from a bridesmaids POV when the MIL showed up in a wedding dress. Bride was so upset she was crying and OP got permission from the bride to fill a red solo cup to the brim with red wine, pull out her phone and pretend to be distracted, then “accidentally” dumping the whole thing down the front of MIL’s dress. Apparently she went nuts and tried to physically attack OP and when too many people got in the way MIL dramatically collapsed and began wailing. Apparently everyone around her was just like, “Nope” and all walked away from this psychopath at the same time. No idea what the outcome was after that, she just signed off saying that she and the bride are still friends
This mother in law is withdrawn from how she felt the day she decided to keep her dress….and it’s not like the bride has an out of the question pipe dream. The bride is being traditional and respectfully and agreeably common among the beloved beliefs of many folks. The mother in law lost the feeling her dress once gave her, and the bride is just trying to stay consistent. This mother in law had her moment. I know that not one person would of ever dared to stir up strife with a woman in white.. Idk why woman who have been raised during such super proper times decide to grow old and bitter and dare to be so disrespectful. When the mother in law was getting married back in the day, back when church attending folks filled the neighborhood. Close tight-knit communities would never make a fuss over something related to religion. A woman’s wedding dress serves a very special purpose, and not only for the day of the wedding. If a bride decides to keep her dress… ….it’s usually because she is very aware that it is special and sacred to her. She’d also be mindful that it’s an extension of herself. A wedding dress is a physical and religious symbol for many… …a bride doesn’t decide to keep it around to get stale and dusty. …and I think we all are pretty sure that she never thought to onky keep it because she knew one day she would want to wear it to her first son’s wedding and engage in arguments with his bride while using it as a fuel to the fire that she clearly enjoys starting.
Love is stronger than these things, I’d go through with the wedding. The fact that he stood up for her to his own mother shows he is ready to take on his life and responsibilities as a husband. If he was defending the mother and trying to play sides I don’t think he’d be ready for marriage, but the fact that he reached out to his mom, supported his fiancé, and all the whole they both were trying to be super respectful to her despite how horrible she was to the fiancé shows they have already made an agreement and pact to defend and support each other. I’d go on with the wedding if she refuses to apologize and realize that what she is thinking is psychotic and inappropriate then quite honestly I’d say she couldn’t come either. They probably had to literally say, you wear something else or you can’t come. Even if her dress is champagne or eggshell, she must have some sort of complex and mother son attachment tray mirrors or borderlines possessive, some mother’s have very unhealthy relationships with their son- not to the point of molesting but to the point that they truly do not want anyone else to have their love that they will do anything and everything to keep them all to herself. Very sad I can’t imagine the anxiety and stress this caused the family
I already knew years ago that I would never invite my mom to my wedding. She was really disrespectful in the beginning to my current partner, and even if I don’t get married to him and I get married to someone else in the future, I still wouldn’t invite her because she doesn’t respect me or the people in my life.
My four sister-in-laws all wore black to our wedding. Like it was a funeral. In a way, it was. A funeral for their relationship with their brother. A few years later, they accused me of “stealing” their brother. We were in our 40’s when we married. He hadn’t lived with or near them for around 20+ years!!
Honestly, I would start making plans to wear a grand dress that is gold or red if I knew someone was wanting to wear white to my wedding. Yes, just let everyone wear white dresses and black suits, and the bride wear a grand kimono or Princess Zelda’s dress goth style, something that would really stand out against all that. Now that would be upstaging to any wedding crashing white dress, and make it fun for the other guests, too. But dude, props to the fiance! He is a keeper! He totally defended his future wife! Maybe go no contact on MIL afterward, though…..or at least keep the new home address a secret for a while until MIL gets through the withdrawal.
My husband’s parents passed away before we ever met, so I didn’t have MIL/FIL drama. He has 3 older sisters and 3 older brothers, there was a little drama with them. My mother passed away before we met as well, so no MIL drama for him. But my step-mother(SM)…. she went up to his sister at our reception and told her to pull more chairs and tables out, SM thought SIL worked for the church. We had exactly what we were allowed due to C19 restrictions. Lovely SIL didn’t tell us about any of this until after we returned from our honeymoon, so as not to ruin anything for us. Still haven’t talked to my SM about this, I also have skipped most of our family gatherings at their house this year. Was just one more thing from her and my dad. Also, I’m 49, my husband is 46, we paid for everything ourselves, not like anyone else had any say in our day. Some folks just gotta drama….
My MIL hated me on sight. Rumor has it that she had a total meltdown and broke dishes when she found out she was going to be a grandmother (long after the wedding. Not shotgun.) I was given a report that they started a betting pool on how long the marriage would last. The most optimistic bet was a year. It’s been more than 30 years. I have been tempted to tell them I know about their bets and ask who won the pool. But it’s all okay. We live far away from them and I only have to deal with it every few years. Lots of forced small talk on those visits. I know how they are, so I’m sure that absolutely every breath I take is picked apart and criticized after each visit. Despite all that, I still try to find common ground to relate to them and really do try to hear them when they’re actually making normal conversation. In the early years, the hardest part is that they were always absolutely lovely when my husband was around. When I’d try to tell him about the passive aggression and backwards compliments and jabs they slung at me when he wasn’t around, he didn’t believe me. Thought I was seeing things that weren’t there and trying to make problems. But the day came when they got a little too comfortable and showed their true colors right in front of him. He was shocked and shaken by that. Then he started paying attention and very quickly realized that his wife was being tortured behind his back and that it was all true. He was really tortured by it for awhile. I finally had my ally. Then he started going to therapy (for different reasons) and realized that his childhood wasn’t normal at all.
HO-LY-SHITTTTT. This was unbelievable!!!! What a fantastic guy Mark is! And that is surprising, given the woman he was raised by! This is making me feel pretty grateful that I’ve never even met my mother in law. It’s been so long since she’s even tried to contact my husband that he doesn’t even remember what she looks like! As a mother myself, I cannot fathom doing something like this to any of my sons or daughters. Absolutely disgusting.
It’s either actually tell everyone to wear a wedding dress or tell MIL that the wedding dress fits right in with their plans for the wedding bcs they were going to ask everyone to wear a white wedding (like) dress. She’ll either jump on it and get a different dress to stand out or you follow the plan after her reaction (if she insists on wearing it) and wear something gorgeous in colour yourself so you still have the limelight on your own day… The invitations would be slightly different if she jumps on it for everyone else and her depending but that is minor… Anyone asking why and what you’d wear would get an answer of “oh I got a plan”
The suggestion of everyone wear a wedding dress is plausible. The bride can wear a blushpink gownto still make her stand out. When asked say they dont want her embarrassed by the guests harrassment. Another way and probably cheaper is get a civil wedding. More intimate and probably cheaper if fmil is waving the “i paid over half of the wedding” card. My cousin had a civil wedding, it was very nice.
Read a story where the bride caught wind of her M8L planning to do the same thing. What the bride did was to buy a gown in a strong color such as red, blue or whatever, while her bridesmaids all wore white. MIL was furious because she and her dress ended up being ‘background noise and didn’t stand out. She also ended up sitting alone at the reception while people basically ignored her.
If fiancé isn’t willing to talk and plan on a No Contact situation IN WRITING and Signed by y’all…. With exact boundaries leading up to NC, I would not marry him. His mom is already riding a line where she is or should he near the being cut off by her son/the bride’s fiancé…. I say send her money back, cancel and move the wedding to a smaller venue and cut costs everywhere and pay for it yourselves. I did that with hubby 17 years ago and not having that debt or “owing” my mother was a huge relief. You can do your own flowers and decor. Do something simple with food and pay a friend who is a good cook to do all the food. Splurge on a couple items that you really want: maybe the dress for you and the cake… those are hard to find equivalents that are not wedding specific. Get away now. Change phone numbers, plan wedding around a time you can move. Block her on social media.
One of the times I worked as a server at a wedding, all of the bridesmaids were wearing white dresses that looked very similar to wedding dresses. The other servers and I couldn’t tell who the bride was. I believe that the dresses were all in different styles, so that didn’t help. The only real difference was that the bride had her hair up with some sort of pearl looking pins. I hope it doesn’t sound like I was judging them because I was not. The others and I were just so confused.
My first thought was to have the bridal party ready with gallons of red Kool aid in buckets to shower her with when she arrives. So she can either wear a wet red bridal dress or change into an acceptable outfit. But I LOVE the idea of everyone wearing a white dress. If I was in her place, I would show up in a gorgeous rainbow dress, the only bright colors amongst the white. So photogenic!
I just sent this to my brother and he can’t believe the similarities hahah wow its eerie how similar this is to my mother. I mean every birthdayI had as a child growing up, had to be about her. One time, my brother accidentally forgot her birthday so on his next birthday, she sent us to her drug addict friends house (who was just was horrible, if not worse) and we had to clean maggots off of their dishes. No one said happy birthday to him, got him a present or even acknowledged that it was his birthday except my mother saying “see how mean it is to forget someones birthday?” or some dumb shit like that. perusal this gave me PTSD lol
People should think of it like this. The people that want to wear a wedding dress at someone else’s wedding are asking to look stupid i.mo. It’s not their wedding. The focus i.m.o. are the two people that are getting married and someone that isn’t one of them that is getting married, but is wearing something that one of them would wear, looks outta place i.m.o. It’s like a “why duh heck” and “what’s the point”? If the people attending are at least nice people (besides the one wearing a wedding dress), then the focus wouldn’t be taken off the ones that are getting married. To me, if the focus gets taken off of the people getting married, then the attending people aren’t being nice people. It’s fine to be like “what duh heck” and “why”? Though if the attention to the marrying people is lost, then those attending people are rude as well i.m.o. Also, it wouldn’t ruin wedding pics i.m.o. Down the road, it would be proof of how someone used to be an awful person or proof that they are an awful person. To me, they just make themself look bad/stupid i.m.o.
My MIL had a beautiful mother of the groom dress that she had out ironing the day before the wedding. Imagine our surprise when she showed up at OUR wedding wearing a wedding dress. I was ready to push her into the lake we were getting married next to…I didn’t. She even took pew decorations, ripped them apart and used the pieces to make a hairpiece so she would fit in better. And had a mini bouquet (I don’t even know where it came from as she was still wearing her corsage). I won’t even hang up family photos from our wedding because I can’t stand seeing her in her all white, lace, floor-length dress. She told me she wore it because it showed off her thin figure…a dig at the fact that I am a slightly more solidly-built woman. We’ve been married 25 years. This year she told me I was never what she wanted for her son and can’t forget that…smh.
I would elope ahead of time then would ask all the guests to wear white. And bridesmaids would all have super fancy white dresses with tiny veil hats. 😂😂Great excuse to have a completely unique wedding!! Then I would buy a colored wedding dress. But keep my dress color a secret. Maybe it’ll be green, maybe red, maybe it’ll be blue, maybe it’ll be black who effing knows?! LMAO I would be down for this challenge! You wanna play I know the best games let’s do it. 🤣🤣🤣
I imagine after ‘HER’ sons wedding, it will be ‘HER’ grandchildren. My sister is already dealing a bit with this. Not married, but pregnant. They asked if on the day they get back from the hospital if they can have alone time just them and the bub. His family flipped and were crying that they were being banished from seeing THEIR grandchild/nephew. They are the type to just show up unannounced – even if my sister is not at home ( visiting my parents house – so awkward for my mother). As the older sister I’m am 100% ready to be the bouncer telling them to F off
In our culture the wedding dress isn’t usually white, just..fancy? I had a purple one and a cream-with-mint-lace one. For other people’s weddings after mine that we would get invited to, my mum would keep suggesting I wear those to them because they had cost so much money. I never did, eventually I outgrew them. I’m thinking of selling them to bridal shops so they could be rented out (which is also a thing here)
Imagine when the kids come along if she is like that over the wedding what way would she be like with the grandkids. It’s so unfair for that poor girl. Some girls dream about their wedding for when they are very young. That mother in-law is a nightmare. I would happily give her money back and tell her where to go😡😡😡
As my mother always says, you only pick a partner. Their family is the part of the package you get delivered in a box. Half the time it’s too late when you realize how bad your in- laws are. But frankly, as long as the partner doesn’t take the side of his family in these types of argument or decides to keep out of it altogether, the family that comes attached shouldn’t be a reason to abandon an otherwise perfectly healthy relationship. But then, that’s just my opinion.
My son got married in 2018 to a doll of a woman. I helped with wedding ideas and I made up rsvp cards and invites but they paid for them and for both wedding and reception. We, my hubs and I paid for the grooms dinner the night of wedding rehearsal, her parents paid for food for wedding. I wore a dress that went with colors of wedding, so did her mother. My hubs was their wedding photographer and wore the colors of wedding, as did her father. She wore a beautiful white dress with black bling throughout the dress and she was a stunning Bride. She loved her wedding day and has wonderful memories to cherish from THEIR day. And folks that is how it is supposed to be, it is not right for any mother or father to ruin their child’s day. If you have had your wedding than good, now shut up and sit down!! Your job is not to recreate that day or live vicariously through your child. You are to watch and help when asked as the child you raised plans for the one day of their life that they will cherish forever!!!
I think some people really are just s*** people and they use the pressure of those social engagements as excuses to be able to act horribly towards people without the people they’re hurting being able to confront them about it without ruining the event. Literally just last weekend my dad screamed at me and my fiance to move our cars and when I asked where he wanted them moved to he yelled just do it!! when I calmly tried explain to him that we were already leaving in our car to go to breakfast he just sat on his riding lawn mower screamed some more. I told him he was being awful and we left. later that day when everybody came to their house for his anniversary party he tried to pull my fiance aside and ask him questions about helping him set up the pool next year. Since then he has been talking to both of us as if nothing happened. I actually warned my fiance that this was going to happen because he does this so often. I can’t stand him.
So now I really want to see a wedding where everyone — bridal attendants, wedding party, whomever — wears some version of a traditional white wedding gown, and the bride can rock some glam ball gown and really stand out in like jewel tones or something. Is that already a thing? Could it be? Because that could be fun.
I read another story where the MIL had purchased a white lace dress (not exactly a wedding dress, but close). Luckily, the bride-to-be found out before any other dresses were bought – she had her bridesmaids and her own mom wear similar dresses to the one the MIL had – the bride purchased a beautiful wedding gown in blue – made it look like that had been the plan all along. Everyone was on board and the MIL didn’t stand out at all. Perfection. Perhaps, since this young lady knows the plan, she can do something similar.
Shame on that woman. The senior women in the groom’s family have the role of welcoming his fiance and making her feel surrounded by friends and allies. As the mother of the groom, I set that tone and made sure my daugher-in-love felt secure with out family. After all, he didn’t choose me for his mother but her chose HER for his wife. I honor that and have a wonderful relationship with them and the grands.
Monsters in law aren’t only nightmares on the wedding day but can really create tension in a marriage, traumatize children involved and there have been multiple cases where in-laws have committed murder over custody issues. I say run far and fast, or you may be asking your husband to choose between you and his toxic mother.
yea soo uhmmm my fiancé gets his moms in check + she apologizes or we don’t get married. b|c let me tell you what we won’t be doing….tolerate THAT bullshit. ETA (responding as i watch): OK yea, his response is perfect. we’re off to a good start! ETA: it’s WILD + mind boggling when people get mad at others when their shitty behavior gets exposed + claim someone else is making them look bad. they do this on Catfish the TV show all the time + it’s like…bruh. EYE didn’t make you look like anything. you did that all by yourself, sweetheart. ETA: LOVE the everyone wears a wedding dress idea. if they weren’t so expensive i’d totally make this the dress code. 😂 + i agree that it’s likely only gonna get worse from there. the silver lining is how the son is handling it. i never see sons stand up to their mothers in these situations, which is why the mothers behave like they do in the first place, the son allows it — no boundaries, no backbone. so this was refreshing to witness. seems as tho she’s got a good one.
I literally wrote this as a comment on one of her recent bridezilla articles. 8 said that I thought it would be fun to let people wear their wedding dresses/outfits to my wedding. You spend all that money on an outfit you get to wear once. It’d be fun I thought. Crazy that this is today’s exact topic😋
My mom wore her wedding dress to my wedding. She got engaged six months after I did, got married 3 months before my wedding, and then wore her wedding dress to my wedding. It was sage green, not white, but on top of her being mad and causing a scene because her ex (who helped raise me for 15 years) was there I don’t feel like that really matters. It really felt like a slap in the face.
Oh wow…..my MIL and I didn’t have a good relationship until about 4 years ago. And my brother in law and his wife talked bad about me and would make up stuff to tell other ppl which made me look like an awful person. I’m a really chill person with a pretty big heart actually and would give the shirt off my back to anyone. But my husband stood up for me numerous times and made a point to tell his mom and brother that if they continue to treat me the way they do then he had no problem with cutting them out of his life. I want to point out that I have an amazing relationship with the entire rest of his family. It was just his mom and brother.
It is not about the color of the dress, it is about a lack of boundaries. Something about that just seems off. I would tell the future bride to have a conversation with her mother in law about it because you don’t want any issues coming up down the line. Seems like the mother-in-law is not comfortable with no longer coming first in her son’s life.
Adrienne lowkey does care lol she only shifted her opinion when the others disagreed with her. Im in two minds tho I always did think like adrienne that youre not supposed to wear white (an unwritten rule) because that is obviously the brides colour but at the same time you should be allowed to wear what you want given that is not an over the top outfit which looks like you are trying to overshine the bride. Having said that given that this is the mother in law and not a regular guest, she should know better and let the bride have her shine.
First of all- like Adrienne said before she back-pedalled, it’s not just an average thursday, or a dinner party or whatever, it’s her wedding day! Possibly her only wedding day. The future mother-in-law is acting obnoxious Secondly- the vast majority of wedding dresses these days are actually off-white or ivory, so yeah I’d have a huge issue with anyone else wearing anything within the shade palette. Like, nah boo don’t even wear beige Thirdly- if the future mother in law is paying for all or part of the wedding, then I think she can afford to buy a different coloured dress
My mother-in-law showed up in a off white dress, and honestly I didn’t even notice until we were looking at our wedding photos. I was to busy marrying the man of my dreams and celebrating the happiest day of my life. People were to busy celebrating us and complimenting how we looked that no one else noticed either. Married Aug 12th, 2017 to my high school sweetheart of 7 years <3
This is why I just pay for everything my damn self. I hate that people think just cause they helped pay for an experience that’s supposed to be your’s and YOUR’S ONLY, they now have the right to do whatever it is they want and they can walk all over your special moment/day. No thank you. I’ll pay by my damn self thank you very much.
I almost wore cream/off white to a friend’s wedding. I was really young and hadn’t really been to many or any weddings before. And she was much older than me. I just so happened to send her a pic of what I planned to wear. She was kind enough to let me know it was not okay. I honestly didn’t know better and I feel terrible and completely embarrassed that she had to tell. I truly didn’t know, but I am glad she told me!
Adrienne I love you and everything but don’t come in here acting like you’d be fine with it. You wouldn’t. And you said it at the beginning before the other girls were “cool” with it. I get it that the bride will outshine either way but Adrienne you’re allowed to have your opinion lmaoooo don’t be changing it because of the other girls. I’m just saying. 😒☕️
I agreed with Adrienne, before she started back peddling. It just something you don’t do. It’s the same with wearing red. Unless you’re a bridesmaid and that’s the colour the bride picked I don’t think women should show up in an “off white/white” dress or a red dress. Or a short skirt/mini dress for that matter. It’s supposed to be a respectable occasion and it’s not about you as a guest. It’s about the bride and groom.
Loni and jeannie dont care because they both didnt wear a traditional dress. Well jeannie dress was blue and loni got married in a tshirt if i am correct. So of course they dont care. I actually think that this bride should adress it because even its not that big of a deal ( for us), it can become one in the future if the bride feels upstaged or shaded by her in law.
Even though I love Adrienne I think its wrong of her to say that someone isnt getting married for the right reasons just because they dont want someone else to wear white, because people care about a big moment in their life, they want the meals to be great, they want the venue to be perfect and its okay for them to want their guests not wear white.
Feeling some way about your mother in law wearing a white dress does not mean shes not ready to get married. Adrienne and Jeanie are dumb as hell for agreeing about that. Its HER day and if she doesnt want someone wearing the same thing as she does, she has the right to feel that way .. that has nothing to do with the actual commitment she is making to her husband
I agree that you should defintely respect people enough to make the effort to give them the limelight and honour their requests. Your true friends will naturally want that for you on your wedding. BUT, just as a side note in general, your marriage should be more about your committment not frivolous details. I see so much over obsession with needing everything to be a certain way, it makes me wonder is the wedding serving love or the ego? Also, just because you’re getting married doesn’t make you more important than anyone else or override their right to authentic self-expression.
Mine wore something very similar to the fabric my husband and I wore even after I had sent her pictures of the fabric we chose for the traditional wedding. I obviously didn’t care but my parents thought it was weird. Cos there were so many patterns and colors she could choose from and she said she didn’t realize it was similar.
When I got married, I didn’t really care what my guests be wearing except of course them not be wearing their wedding gowns on my special day 😂 because I am more focused on the whole event hoping everything will turn out fine. Plus I had more important things to think about at that time than what my guests be lookin like. I mean for me, it’s kinda rude to tell my guest to not wear certain colors to attend my wedding though..thats just me..
I actually suck at doing my makeup so when I was asked to be a bridesmaid I set up an appointment to get my makeup done that morning prior to showing up to the wedding.. I had a bride ask me not to get my makeup done before the wedding because she didn’t want to be upstaged. I still got my makeup done just a natural look because I didn’t want to look like crap in the pictures. She was still pissed. Some brides just shouldn’t get married if they are that worried about being “upstaged” by someone else.
After telling my fiancé’s parents my bridesmaids are wearing a malice pink color. Since I was wearing the color to lunch, I pointed to my dress. My mother in law said she was planning to wear that color too. I felt upset inside. I suggested she wear a dark red wine dress (similar to my own mother) so both could be recognized. I want her to look beautiful but, I think it’s strange especially for pictures. I told my mom and she said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.” Lol Our wedding is in over a year. I hope I can find something else for her to wear as a compromise.
As someone who is PALE I will not be wearing strait white on my wedding day my dress is going to be an off white/cream color because of my complexion. So anyone saying they were wearing off white would be wearing a color really close to my dress, and I can’t guarantee how I’d feel. Especially if I may bring it up and no one else felt the need to say anything. Because personally I’d expect my fiancee to jump in so I wouldn’t have to say anything to their mother and that says a lot about them as a person.
When I got married my mom wore a white with light silver tint dress. Personally, I had no issue with it. It’s not like my mom ever got to dress up like that, I was her last child getting married, that she wanted an actual mother-of-the-bride dress & finally had the money to blow on something to look nice for one day I was happy for her. Truthfully I preferred my mom dressing up like that over the JcPenny’s big flower everyday dress my MIL wore. Here my parents were dressed to the hilt & it seemed like hubby’s parents couldn’t be bothered to dress nicely for the day.
It’s not even about trying to upstage the bride, That’s just proper etiquette. It’s just simply rude to do so when you know full and damn well your not supposed to. Everywhere you go there is an expected behavior from you and not doing so can be seen as disrespectful. Even if they are old traditions and outdated some people still value them and if your a guest at someone else’s event then you should still be respectful to them.
My sister said she wanted to wear a white maid of honour dress to my sister-in-law’s wedding and I just thought she was joking, but then she ended up throwing a fit and fighting my sister-in-law days before her wedding about how her dress was ugly because it was gold and ill-fitting even though that was the motif of all the other bridesmaids dresses SMH she’s so toxic… 🤦🏽♀️🙄😒
I agree that no one will outshine me on my wedding day but i think because it kinda is an unwritten rule to just not wear white at a wedding, if you show up in white you are high-key tryna disrespect me👀 but maybe I’m just petty like that🤷🏾♀️ i mean, I wouldn’t get all stupid about it or anything but I’ll take that move into account😄
I think it depends on the kind of dress she’s wearing. I’ve heard stories of some deranged women who have worn full on wedding dresses to someone else’s wedding. If a last minute clergy replacement would have to question if you’re the bride, don’t wear it. I would personally ask to see it for approval especially since she’s gonna be in the pictures.
The best story I heard was another woman had the same issue so what she did was secretly have all the bridesmaids wear white. And her mother wore white too. She ended up wearing a blush wedding dress and kept it a secret from the mother in law. So on the day of her wedding, she stood out from everyone else. The mother in law was not happy.
I’m just old fashioned and I feel uncomfortable with it I had one of my closest friends ask me to wear one of my show choir dresses to her wedding which was a Christmas white and all I heard was my grandma in my head saying there are two colors you do not wear to a wedding white and black and I just couldn’t I respectfully told her no
My mom wore an off white color to my brothers wedding, and she still loves my sister in law. At my wedding my momo wore an off white color too, she was trying to look really good but that does not mean she don’t like me or is trying to outshine me or anyone for that reason. If anything that women should be thanking her mother in law for obviously raising a man she wants to call HER husband .
When I got married at city hall (our choice), I wore a black dress & my then-mother in law wore a long, flowy white dress to try & show me up. Even my then-fiancee was like “she’s trying to look holy but she’s not fooling anybody….& the joke is on her”. When she saw we were both wearing black, she looked PISSED like her diabolical plan was ruined! LOL
If it’s REALLY bothering you, ask your fiance to check his mother. Or do it yourself! She’s about to become family. I’m my African culture, at weddings people wear a whole bunch of colours, but you’ll be able to tell who the bride is cuz she’ll probably be wearing a tiara looking like a glittering goddess!
I had a Autumn themed wedding. Bridesmaids in cranberry my mom in navy blue. I offered to go dress shopping with my mother in law, she refused asked her to get a dress within the fall color scheme. SHE BUYS A LILAC COLORED DRESS… I went to the store and checked, the dress also came in hunter green and brown. I said NOTHING to her. Enjoyed my day.
If it bothers her, maybe she could take her future MIL shopping for another dress? Like ” hey let’s go find u a gorgeous dress too! I was thinking this color since it looks great on you”. And not be fake about it be genuine. That way she doesn’t come off as petty or rude. And it’ll also give them time to bond too.
I wore white to a wedding, but got permission from the bride first. I had been searching high and low for a dress that fit me because I had gained some weight and the weeks I had spent looking were unsuccessful and so I finally found a beautiful dress that fit me (it was a beach wedding not to mention) and of course, it was white. It was the weekend before the wedding, so I offered to get it dyed just because I felt so bad and the bride said please dont worry about it, I just want you there. I think as long as you ask and explain the situation, anyone with a heart would look past the color of the dress if your intentions are good. If this mother in law was just wearing white just to wear white, thats a different story. I wasnt seeking out a white dress, I just was so desperate for SOMETHING that I was trying on literally anything, and the one that ended up fitting and looking the best was white. But at least I offered to modify it in order to make the bride feel more comfortable. I’m sure she appreciated the gesture.