Who Is Amber Riley Engaged To?

I am a woman in her 50’s and learned some valuable new things in this segment. Our generation is newly learning about boundaries and attachment styles thanks to you young folks! This was an excellent and insightful article with lots of takeaways, even for women in my age demographic. In my opinion, there is a lot of reprogramming that needs to take place in the black community and yes, starting with the black church! My young ladies, we have got to choose ourselves first AND choose our partners differently! We need to re-wire what we have been taught! Great job!

She was so over zealous at landing a man against the odds that she deliberately ignored ALL the red flags. She was more interested in “show casing” her unexpected relationship to the world rather than, trying to cultivate a genuine, harmonious and long term bond. KeKe Palmer seems to be going down the same road. Hope this serves as a cautionary tale/ lesson in the event she finds herself in another relationship … keep your private life private and off social media.

He is intimidated by her success that’s why he finds it hard to compliment her, the only way to make him feel better about himself is to throw shady remarks/being passive aggressive towards her. Constantly calling her “petty” and accusing her of throwing jabs is his way to make her constantly apologize to him and chase his acceptance. She will never have the upper hand she lost that upper hand when she messaged him first. The most men can do is show interest first, I refuse to message a man first especially if he hasn’t shown any signs if interest in me beforehand

I felt the same way she did about relationships with black men but i kept getting the same results. I expanded my horizons and wound up married to a blonde haired blue eyed white chocolate latte (rest his soul) I’ve learned to close myself off to love based off of the color of their skin but their character.

NEVER trust a man who doesn’t honor his mother. Even if she did him wrong. There’s a minimum amount of respect you owe the person who brought you into the world. Even more if they keep you alive when you couldn’t take care of yourself. At the very least, he is extremely un-healed and emotionally unhealthy. At the worst he will take out all his frustration about his mother on you!

amber is the prime example of when a person is not used to dating someone really attractive, behaves. Amber seems to not be used to getting a sexually attractive man and now, since this bearded dragon wanted her (clout), she was so….. excited to show ppl that she can pull a fine man! and then she became self-conscious by going through his phone and dm’s just to see who’s texting him…. she then realized having a fine partner aint for the weak or self-conscious.

First of all yes I feel her pain. I was 14 my child’s father was 19. my mom also wanted to call the police and I wouldn’t let her SMH and I should have but almost broke my damn ankle getting over here to the phone when she was talking about how she is a people-pleaser and she overextending herself and that caregiver type of way and them not necessarily needing it but it feels so good to your self-esteem knowing that she provided that and they benefited from her yeah I had to learn hard way also when I tell you I came to God broken and was in pieces I had to drag myself to the alter in a sandbag

His mom’s story is sooooo tragic but I guarantee that happens more than not in this black dysfunctional community. I’m so glad Amber did not marry that man and I wish healing for women like Mary J Blige who got out but with marks and life long bruises 🙏🏽 it saddens me thinking of the unprotected state black girls and women are continually left in. I cry tears of hurt and pain just knowing what so many of us go though when we try to speak up about the pain and hurt it is just pushed down and drowned out by the screams of everyone else consistently letting us know they gives 0 Fs about our happiness safety nor well fare. We as black girls just better make sure we taking care of a nigga to our own detriment 🤦🏽‍♀️. My heart hurts, my head hurts, this life is torturous 😭😭😭

I still don’t get it. When it comes to black women in HYPOGAMY it’s celebrated and saluted when she’s the one approaching him because it’s a BM but yet when it came to Jodie Turner-Smith proposing to her millionaire white boyfriend who had more access and assets then her everybody was making fun of her. So her and a hypergamous relationship she should be ashamed but everybody’s saluting Amber for struggle love aka BLACK LOVE. Make it make sense. We are so backwards as a community

This is why it’s important to know the man your with. I won’t struggle with no child. Imagine birthing a child by a molester for him to turn out to be a poor quality man like his father. Picking good genetics is important and more woman need to pick out the best. The community doesn’t need more of deshawns

First, I’ll speak from the perspective of a woman that has made the first move multiple times. Ladies, DON’T! Not because of femininity or being the prize (both very valid things), but because…if you start the relationship making the initial effort, you will continue to be the only one making an effort throughout the “relationship”. Also, it comes off as desperation to the man..even if he doesn’t express it. Black men KNOW how beneficial black women are…especially desperate ones. They could not find you attractive and still accept your offer of dating because, even if they don’t like you, they know they can get something out of you. Men know from jump if they actually want a woman and to what level. When you approach first, you set yourself up for being used. Put yourself in his sight and make sure he sees you! Once you’ve confirmed he saw you…if he didn’t say anything…take that as a “no” from him! The mother is just….lost. Still. Her son is very disrespectful, yes. But since she didn’t raise him, I’m having a hard time seeing her side.

Wow she pursued him? Typical PICK ME energy. Wow. Eww recording him and doting him? They keep saying ” big gurl energy”. No this is dumb. Big Gurl Energy isn’t supposed to be DESPERATE ENERGY. That’s a bad look because the stereotype is always that big gurls are thirsty and desperate for men. It should be that he’s PURSUING YOU not the other way round. “Slid in his DM”. No that’s so wrong. Ugg:( Wait ” when we FIRST HUNG OUT and you were around MY FAMILY”? Nah is she serious? It’s one thing if that was an accident like family popped up on you when you were out or something but she brought this dude around her family for a first meeting? Ohh wow his mom’s story is so sad.

I always find it hilarious when a woman has been in a relationship for two seconds and starts getting cocky. Starts giving out condescending relationship/love advice that wreaks of “that’s why y’all ain’t got no man.” 🥴🤣 Just for that MF to embarrass them in the end. As a celebrity, Amber should’ve taken her time and waited a little while before fully committing to him and introducing him to the public. A woman of her caliber has a lot more to lose and runs a greater risk of meeting a man that only wants to use her for clout/money. Now, the momma’s story is sad but Amber doesn’t have anything to do with their dysfunction and did the right thing by staying out of it. She had no way of gauging who was lying and who was telling the truth in that situation. Amber didn’t owe her anything and shouldn’t have been brought up in THEIR drama. That’s what makes it hard for me to believe that momma wasn’t looking for clout. She’s not wrong for airing her son out but she lost credibility with me when she started coming at Amber.

His mom seems extremely toxic to me. I am sure there’s a legitimate reason why he feels the way that he does about his mother. Mom actually seems bitter towards him. There’s definitely more to the story. I can tell you that just bc a man treats his mom a way does not mean he will treat his woman the same.

If he lied about/on his own mother then you know he lied about his son. Smh what’s sad is Teresa ‘s story is my story. I was 13 going on 14 when I got pregnant by my 17 going 18 year old abusive ” boyfriend” ! I got away thank God . He later went to prison for murder. When my son got older he treated me like shit. Because I was the closest person to him. We are just now working on our relationship. God is good!

His mom can’t always use the excuse of being a teen. I was a teen parent as well w/ a 30 year old man lying like he was much younger. I couldn’t afford to stay childish w/a baby depending on me – I chose not to be in the streets letting my family raise my child. She sounds like she didn’t want to follow her mother’s rules and was leaving her child w/ her mom still going out partying w/ her friends being foolish & rebellious not wanting to listen to anyone. No one just wants to stay in the streets unless they’re up to no good, so she was probably doing drugs, and that’s why she left her father’s house & wouldn’t move in with her aunt who had her son. She didn’t want to grow up for him. I struggled initially with my first born. But I always kept her with me. I humbled myself to stay in safe homes with family; I followed their rules, worked, went to school, & took care of my child during those times like I was supposed to in order to avoid getting kicked out before trying to make a family work with her predatory father. He was controlling & turned out to be abusive though, so we got out of there. Wherever I went my children always came with me. I’m raising them; at one point by myself. I may have been young making mistakes, but I made it a point to never abandon them, b/c I guarantee you her son sees it as she chose the streets over him letting him be passed around raised by family instead of raising him herself, & he’s angry with her for it. It’s good her family stepped in, but that STILL affected him that his mother wasn’t consistently there to raise him.

He wanted to marry her and live his true life on the side with a woman he wants and would probably have a baby with that woman before the one who gave him that lifestyle. Kinda reminds me of Wendy and Kevin. I would never hit a man first or take care of one, I wouldn’t even go 50/50. Never have and never will call me old fashion cause Im stay that way and have been married going on 14yrs. Can’t imagine dating these days cause everything seems reverse men acting like women and women acting like men. Ladies keep your head and standards high there have to be men out there who will do right by you

How giddy those men got when she said “she loves black men” after the question would you date outside your race. They relished in it because they know she still a sucker. Cringy. It’s bad out here man. I pray that women become more logical and know that actions speak louder than words, especially within the context of ” the black community in America”. Jesus of Nazareth didn’t act like them when he was here walking the earth. A stark contrast in character, disposition, and attitude toward the responsibility of manhood, masculinity, and the the responsibility of taking care of the fatherless, widows, and poor. A stark contrast in disposition and attitude toward women, and being in relationships with women. Jesus of Nazareth respected women in all aspects of the word, never devalued them via psychological and emotional manipulation/violation. The black men who lead the black church are emotional and psychological manipulators, they don’t act like Jesus at all. Just vainglorious and self centered.

No one should be “pursuing” anyone. There is a connotation there that one person is running away and in a healthy relationship, there should be a back-and-forth ( a sort of give and take ), not one where one person is doing all the work, while the other person is running. Regardless of where or how you meet, who initiated contact, if there is no reciprocity, VACATE THE PREMISES .. PERIOD

I knew this would eventually make it to the media. The mom DM’d me about him after seeing me comment on a TSR post about them being cute and happy. She quickly let me know he was a fraud and hopped in my DM’s. I didn’t entertain it much and pointed her in the direction of bloggers as I was the wrong source.

At least she got out before he got any of her money! HE seems like a gold digger. These dudes are so self-centered, and you can tell by all the solo pictures of himself that he is all about himself and not about any woman or anyone else, gay men who do this are exactly the same. If its all solo pix, don’t bother because he will not care about anyone else. Looks like he did NOTHING to gain her love, and he didn’t care to earn it either because he knew he was her KANG.

Now he’s not in son’s life, I guess he waiting for his BM to do all the hard work and he can walk in his sons life as a teenager like his dad did. Than he can become the hero without putting in real work and he knows it will work because it worked for his dad, so he thinks it will work for him as well!

One comment on the mother asking how Amber could accept a man who speaks ill of his mother…well if Amber already saw Deshaun as the prize, his lies and narcissism fully convinced her to believe him. Obviously he had a rough childhood, but one thing narcs love to do when lovebombing is trauma dump to create a false sense of intimacy and closeness. He most likely further hooked her by telling all his childhood sadness. And because women fall in love with their ears, she fell for it.

😭 19:47 The audio of the mother talking sounds strange. She tell of the time she and her child were thrown out because she was 5 minutes late coming back home, of the times her baby would be in the home of her friends but she had to sleep outside or in the garage. Not once did her voice waver or crack, it remained steady. It could simply be a personality trait but she sounds disconnected from the words she’s saying.Heavenly Father, help this woman, and help her son. There is so much emotional pain here.

I am older, so maybe my opinion is outdated. However, under no circumstances should you ever catalogue shop for a man online, as send them a letter of interest. Firstly, men spend their first few years of sexual exploration with lotion and a sock. The bar is very low. So, you messaging is quite the upgrade from a sock, regardless of if they actually like you or not. They will actively show interest in who they like, but will rarely reject interest, as again… it’s better than a sock. If all of their previous partners look different than you, you are not the special “Something Different”. More likely, they are trying something different, because what they really want did not work out. You are not the upgrade, just the person they receive more of what they want from… even if they don’t truly like you personally. Rather you like it, or not, you are friends until you are married. Meaning, do not be anyone’s pre-wife, because you are simply volunteering to provide the affection of a wife with no assurances you will ever be one. How well you manage your friendship is the determination of if you should become engaged. If they cannot respect your friendship boundaries, why would you marry them? I have been married 28 years now, and the only thing which makes my husband upset with me is when I fail to tell him if I am unwell, need something, or am upset. Anger is only acceptable on your behalf, not towards you. Lastly, heterosexual men would still date women if all of us weighed 200kg, were bald, wore khaki sacks and bathed once per week, because it is still better than a sock, despite you not being what they would prefer to see.

Lawd the black community is a shambles. The mother had such a hard time as a child with a child. It was so unfortunate that NO family could help her properly. It’s a wonder that we make it to adulthood. At 14 this woman’s life was effectively ruined. And after all of that Clifton had the audacity to turn on his mother like that. She did the best she could as a CHILD. The trauma 😔

She was sooooooo Thirsty! “Big” girl energy (her words) and anytime you’re desperate people will take advantage of that. Men are pursuers and if he isn’t pursuing you more than likely he doesn’t want you. You’re a place holder. When a man calls you “cute”, thats a MAJOR red flag. Cute is for babies and dogs not a woman you’re head over heels for. Its crystal clear when a man wants you, you cant keep him away. He sounds a bit feminine which is not a good look for a man

Her son is trash. But let me tell you, her son is FROM HER UPBRINGING. The way he doesnt take responsibility…..NOR does the mother. She keeps blaming the father. Fair enough. But you knew his age at some point you knew YOURs. You knew drinking and smoking were wrong. Now you have a baby, it doesn’t matter, you have to grow up. She got the voice of a super old woman (smoking) and she feels hard done by and now projecting on her son. Her son is problematic in his own right. Toss them all to the street.

The Mom didn’t say her father abused her, WTF are you all talking about? Her father tried giving her stability, she chose the streets. If anything, the mother’s egg donor was disgusting, and sick AF. His Mom’s retaliation is also sickening, she doesn’t know him, she didn’t raise him either, but she does feel entitled… Clifton is searching motherly love from and within the women he’s dating. He has to heal from that abandonment… but I would cut Mom off too, she didn’t read him, or check him. She keeps hiding behind being his Mother, but she didn’t even try to help in raising him. Clifton, longed for his father’s love, so when he finally got him, it was easy for him to believe the lies. Mom said herself she was young, and once Clifton was set and secure, she left him with the Aunt to be raised, while she went and stayed in the streets. Growing up, Clifton had to endure those emotions of parental abandonment… it’s not like he could go with either one of them, young or not, mama wasn’t trying to be a Mom, even when she embarked into adulthood, she didn’t come back for him, she allowed him to continue being raised by family and not her… that’s why it was easy for him to believe his Dad. She gave him life, that’s it‼️That resentment is abandonment, the Dad didn’t have to create or lie about her, that’s the son’s opinion.

03:16, I think that some bw just love playing/being and acting dumb because the writing is bright red on the wall and a bw will tell you it’s in green and you’re reading wrong. BM, on average do not like bw, idk how many ways bw want them so show it, so when one, who would be considered good looking by the communitah, goes after a bw who is the opposite of what said communitah finds beautiful, anyone with two brain cells can see what’s going on. I commented then paris, that i was choosing the Jcole “dont save her” approach from that point on and i meant it!

I see nothing wrong with wanting BM, HOWEVER having discernment is an issue for us. The pool of marriageable BM is extremely small and that’s just a fact. Men who are GAINFULLY employed independent of a BW, have morals, integrity, are kind, are attentive mates and fathers is small. Don’t argue with me dustys because you know it’s true. Just look at the communities we live in. Men who are leaders have successful functioning communities.

32:35 even i wouldnt talk about my father like that and i haven’t talked to him in five or six years. He wasnt there for me there for me. Even if he called me a liar. I wouldn’t speak about my father that way because he never physically hurt me(he didnt speak down to me or anything,but he wasnt supportive either). Her podcast though. Theresa: I have no doubt his mother told him the truth about how she conceived him. And yes, she went through statutory rape. As a teen mother she made “mistakes”, not getting along with her elders, because she was conflicted and young. Manipulated, confused, scared, terrified, and self esteem ripped apart.

Men are hunters.. Ladies don’t take the chase away from him.. And for the spiritual rooted people, “a man who FINDS A WIFE finds a good thing. ” Let him do what he was meant to do, learn from nature observe the animals the males are usually the one to pursue the females. Yes lionesses take care of their king, but make no mistake. He made her his queen 1st before she started doing all the work. Edit: ❤ if you don’t agree, go ahead and do what your heart desires, but if it does not work out, please learn from that mistake, and never do it again.