Boundaries are essential for maintaining a thriving and fulfilling relationship, as they help individuals maintain their own needs and desires, prevent neglect of self, and reflect what they need to feel safe, respected, and loved. There are four types of boundaries in marriage: emotional, physical, and digital.
Boundaries help maintain a sense of identity and personal space, enabling two or more individuals to love each other and grow together. They allow individuals to take responsibility for ensuring the boundaries are clear on various topics such as privacy, intimacy, and space. Without healthy boundaries, relationships can become toxic and unsatisfying, and well-being can suffer.
Creating boundaries helps maintain a balance, allowing individuals to have a life of their own and not get wrapped up in the relationship. It also promotes a higher sense of self-esteem, allowing both parties to be in charge of their emotional reactions. Establishing communication boundaries is crucial, as it allows for discussions about preferences for communication and respect for each other.
In healthy relationships, both people should ask permission, take each other’s feelings into account, show gratitude, be honest, give space for autonomy, avoid codependence, and show respect for one another. Boundaries are not implemented to impede or obstruct responsibility to the marriage; instead, they help determine what is and is not okay in a relationship, whether with friends, partners, co-workers, bosses, or family members.
📹 Good boundaries free you | Sarri Gilman | TEDxSnoIsleLibraries
This talk was given at a local TEDxSnoIsleLibraries event and produced independently of the TED Conferences. Sarri Gilman has …
What are healthy boundaries in a marriage?
Healthy boundaries reflect what we want and dont want as well as what is okay with us and what is not. There are several types of boundaries to consider in this process. They include boundaries around time, physical space, emotional space, material possessions, and sexual intimacy.
What Are Boundaries? Boundaries in Marriage Important Boundaries to Set.
What Are Boundaries?. Boundaries are guidelines for what is acceptable behavior to us as individuals. These behaviors vary based on our personal experiences. This is why listening is crucial when setting boundaries in marriage – one partner’s may be vastly different than the other’s. Having conversations about these differences can be scary if we struggle with asserting our needs or the potential of conflict. In a healthy dynamic, stepping into this fear improves relational health and increases our capacity for self-care.
Healthy boundaries fall into a different category than unhealthy boundaries, commonly known as rigid and porous boundaries. Rigid boundaries are an avoidance of close relationships. People who have rigid boundaries are not likely to ask for help and keep others at a distance. Porous boundaries are the opposite in that they result in overinvolvement. People who have porous boundaries find it hard to say no to requests and at times accept mistreatment or abuse.
What does lack of boundaries look like?
So those are 10 signs you might need to establish some better boundaries: you rarely say no, you take on more tasks than you can handle, you apologize for things that arent your fault, you stoop to someone elses level, you complain about someone often, you lose your temper, you blame other people for making you feel a certain way, you feel powerless, you spend a lot of time dreading that youre going to see someone, and you resort to unhealthy coping skills.
If those things sound a lot like you, listen to episode 54, how to set boundaries with therapist Nedra Tawwab.
Make sure to tune into the show on Monday. Im talking to actress and author Ali Landry about how to reshape your life. She shares how a really small change to your habits can make a huge difference to your life.
Is cheating breaking a boundary?
Relationship therapist Jeanae M. Hopgood, LMFT, M.Ed., PMH-C, explains it as such: Cheating is pretty subjective and can be anything from flirting with someone who isnt your partner, to full-out sexual acts with another person. Cheating is really anything that violates the boundaries of your romantic relationship and results in a breach of trust between its members.
If you even need to think, Would my spouse/partner be OK with this behavior?” then this is a pretty good indication that you might be nearing the cheating zone. In the end, the only people who can know if you cheated or not are you and your partner(s). Together as a unit, its you who set the rules and promise to live by them.
Physical cheating is the kind that most people immediately think of and assume cheating to be. Its quite simply the physical intimacy that youre not supposed to share with someone else if you have a monogamous relationship. (And notably, even people in polyamorous arrangements can cheat and be cheated on if one or more parties engages in behavior that goes against the rules they may have set for themselves.) While it can range in severity, physical cheating is all about using your body to cross a line.
- Making out with someone at the club
- Having sex with someone while out of town
- Dancing sexily with someone
What are unhealthy boundaries in a relationship?
Now that we have a better understanding of what healthy boundaries look like, lets talk about unhealthy boundaries. Unhealthy boundaries involve a disregard for your own and others values, wants, needs, and limits. They can also lead to potentially abusive dating/romantic relationships and increase the chances of other types of abusive relationships as well.
Here are some examples of what unhealthy boundaries may look like:
- Disrespecting the values, beliefs, and opinions of others when you do not agree with them.
- Not saying “no” or not accepting when others say “no.”
- Feeling like you are responsible for other peoples feelings and/or happiness.
- Feeling like you are responsible for “fixing” or “saving” others.
- Touching people without their permission.
- Engaging in sexual activity without clear consent from the other person.
What happens if a boundary is broken in a relationship?
If a boundary is a metaphorical line that divides ourselves from other people, what happens if that line is crossed? We call that a boundary violation. A violation can happen when the space between you and someone else is not negotiated in a mindful or respectful way. This can lead to experiences of resentment, hurt, frustration, and a weakening of the relationship, regardless of whether the person who crossed the line intended to cause harm.I like to break boundary violations down into two categories:
- Physical Violations – This is when a boundary is crossed in a physical way. These could include someone taking your belongings without asking, someone getting in your personal space, or someone budging in front of you in the Starbucks line. So Frustrating!
- Emotional/Relational Violations – This is when a boundary violation impacts your emotional space and inner world. This could include a close friend sharing your secrets
- someone expecting a favour in exchange for giving you a favour
- or other people using inappropriate or oppressive language towards you. This could also include when we assume the reasons behind someone elses actions or assume the feelings of others without checking in. It could look like not being able to say no, taking on too many commitments, and being overly concerned about other peoples feelings to the detriment of your own.
- Here are some signs that our boundaries are being crossed:. You feel overwhelmed, stressed, and burned out.
- You experience resentment towards others when they reach out or ask for help.
- You find yourself avoiding other people or your responsibilities
- You feel you do not have enough time for yourself or to practice self-care.
- You fantasize about dropping everything, cancelling your phone plan, deleting your social media, and moving to a tropical island somewhere.
What type of person has no boundaries?
Poor Boundaries and Neediness. People lack boundaries because they have a high level of neediness (or in psych terms, codependence). People who are needy or codependent have a desperate need for love and affection from others. To receive this love and affection, they sacrifice their identity and remove their boundaries.
(Ironically, its the lack of identity and boundaries that makes them unattractive to most people in the first place.)
People who blame others for their own emotions and actions do so because they believe that if they put the responsibility on those around them, theyll receive the love theyve always wanted and needed. If they constantly paint themselves as a victim, eventually someone will come to save them.
What happens if a relationship has no boundaries?
Increased Conflict. When the give and take in a relationship is out of balance, conflict can arise. This can lead to stress, which can hurt both your relationship and physical health.
Every relationship experiences some level of disagreement, but when it arises from a lack of clear and enforced boundaries, it can linger. It never gets fully resolved because it keeps happening.
Maintaining healthy boundaries lets others know where they stand with you and can prevent additional conflict.
Setting Boundaries to Promote Closeness. Some people believe that having strong, clear boundaries means keeping everyone at arms length to be at their best. This isnt exactly true.
What are unhealthy boundaries in a marriage?
Unhealthy boundaries. Unhealthy boundaries often tend to be either too rigid or too porous. Healthy ones fall somewhere between these two extremes.
- Rigid boundaries keep other people at a distance, even loved ones. Maybe you refuse to talk about your emotions with your partner or rarely set aside time to meet with friends.
- Porous or weak boundaries develop when you have a hard time saying “no” to others. For example, you might be too willing to take on all the responsibilities in a relationship. Or maybe you tend to overshare when talking with strangers.
There are many reasons why people may consistently struggle with unhealthy boundaries, such as:
Desire for control. Some people use boundaries to manipulate others. For example, a person might use rigid boundaries to stonewall conversations, refusing to engage with you until you do what they want.
How to set boundaries in a marriage?
4 Ways to Set and Respect Boundaries with Your SpouseOpen and Honest Dialogue: Initiate a conversation with your spouse about boundaries. … Define Your Boundaries: Take time to identify your personal boundaries and discuss them with your spouse. … Mutual Consent: Boundaries should be established with mutual consent.
Emma has experience in private, not for profit, and public sectors, providing both short and long-term treatment for a range of relationship and mental health problems.
Emma has worked with various types of couples helping to foster more desirable and satisfying relationships. Couples have included same and opposite-sex couples, young couples, couples who are pregnant, couples in business, etc.
In couples therapy, Emma has helped her clients with secrets that have caused damage, including secrets such as infidelity (including cybersex). She also has experience with couples stuck in conflict; those with addiction issues; couples stressed by life transitions, financial issues, parenting conflicts, lifestyle differences; and those with conflicts in the extended family.
Why are boundaries important in relationships?
Boundaries help determine what is and is not okay in a relationship– whether that be with friends, partners, co-workers, bosses, or family members. Ideally, we put them in place to protect our well-being. They help us to build trust, safety, and respect in relationships. Common boundaries include emotional, physical, sexual, intellectual, and financial; they can apply to any aspect of your life where you feel they are needed. Ready to start setting boundaries? It requires a certain amount of self-awareness and reflection.
How to Set Boundaries. First, its important to be aware of what is impacting you and what your tendencies are. Before setting a boundary, take time to reflect on your needs, struggles, and how its impacting your relationships.Say your boss calls you after work hours, which interferes with your time to rest or focus on school assignments. Setting a boundary might look like communicating to your boss that you are offline during certain hours for these reasons. Reflection and self-awareness will give you a clear idea on what boundaries need to be drawn so then you can take the next step of clearly communicating them.
After gaining clarity, the second step is to communicate your boundaries. Communication is extremely important in order to set healthy boundaries. Ideally, boundaries are communicated kindly and assertively. Focus on sharing how you feel and what you need in a respectful way, even if feeling anger and spite. While these are valid feelings, they are not always the most helpful when communicating boundaries.
What is lack of boundaries in marriage?
#1 – There are no established rules.. At its most fundamental, lack of boundaries in marriage means that there are no established rules or guidelines in the relationship. The four walls of the house that is marriage have not been built and as a result the foundation of the relationship is already shaky.
It is very important that each couple have a set of rules of work from – things that they both are clear about and committed to keeping. Without those rules, couples are forced to stab around in the dark, trying to make their other person happy but not really knowing how.
For example, when I was married, the number one boundary that my ex and I should have set was to set parameters around the visiting times with both of our families. We should have talked about where we would spend the holidays, what they would look like, how birthdays were to be celebrated and our obligation for daily tasks. We didnt do that and, as a result, our new family got torn apart by the demands of our extended one.
What are the consequences of crossing boundaries in a marriage?
Consequences could be anything like: filing for divorce, moving out, your partner moving out, sleeping in separate bedrooms, not being sexually intimate for a certain period of time, telling more people about your situation, limiting one-on-one time with your partner, more monitoring of activities/devices, no longer …
📹 Setting Healthy Boundaries In Your Marriage
For more tools, training, and resources to build your extraordinary marriage visit www.extraordinaryfamilylife.com or get the …
I’m 22 self-teaching personal relationship boundaries. I had a negative, boundary-crossing environment at home. But I’m fortunate to say I am learning to listen to my own voice, create my own value system, set boundaries and respect the boundaries other people make. This stuff is incredible, and you get to practice it everyday.
This was like a warm hug from my inner soul to myself. Thank you for being such a kind discerning person to be able to convey such meaningful ideas and thoughts. I just set a boundary with a friend who was draining me daily and I feel so free. Now I can be a better mother, wife, sister and friend. But most of all, now I can be the best for myself. To myself, from myself. This was like a love letter to my heart. Thanks!
I was raised in a home where opinions, feelings and beliefs were controlled, often times, discounted. I know the power of feeling like you don’t have a voice. In those circumstances, I began to act out, becoming angry and shut down. It wasn’t until a very powerful event happened to me, where I had given in when I should have said something. It crushed me to the point where I couldn’t even function, but I am so thankful that it did happen! That event changed the way I saw myself and the power I had in my own voice. Not long after that, another event came my way where I finally had to stand up for what I was feeling, believing and thinking. The person was not happy with my choice, but it’s not up to me whether they are happy or not, it’s up to me to stand where I stand.
this is a very helpful presentation lately i started to say no to people i used to always say yes to and as you predicted they became very angry and insulting to me in person. so then i realized they could call me so i learned how to block them. yes a chicken’s way out but i file this action under self care until i can say no in person.
Best to know traits of the type 1 sociopath – they take pleasure in breaking boundaries. They take pleasure in sabotaging others. They rarely do anything illegal, immoral yes, illegal-no. If you want strong boundaries, it’s important to know traits of the type 1 sociopath! Sexy and brilliant are traits. Controlling and manipulative are too. Great article! Thank you! Please add “know the traits of conscienceless people” 🙂
This is wonderful. The last five years I was working as full time RN three 12 hr shift a week, doing all care for elderly parents age 95 and 85 who lived 1,000 miles away because family there couldn’t be bothered. I mean paying the bills, managing home care, having the food delivered, and had them on camera perusal them. I also had a husband (supper supportive) a dog, two cats, and a house to maintain since he works out of town 2 week of month. I hit a wall, got sick, lots of unexplained neuro symptoms. In desperation I asked my husband to take FAMLA and help me more. The only thing that could give was my job, I was miserable. It has been a year, my father died, my mother lives with us. I can see clearly now and feel better than I have in years. I can see how I trapped myself into the belief my job was me, that the money was all that mattered, into a life of chronic very high stress. I have not missed work a minute. I have made myself more of priority than I ever have and I feel the sky is the limit.
Thank you so much for this wonderful speech for which I was in a big need. I am approaching my 50’s and I just realized I am exhausted, I need to slow down, I was praying for guidance, and maybe this speech is a sign. It is absolutely true that if you don’t feel good you can’t really be good to anyone who might need you. I know I have some sweating to do to set my boundaries and some learning to work on to look after the fragile me, am ready for it. Thank you again and keep on the great work you are doing…
Thank you for this talk, it was a helpful synchronicity as it came on autoplay. My compass was so cloudy the last few weeks due to stress and high expectations. Today i said yes to something even though i felt my compass scream no and the tension between what i was doing and my need for self- care was pulling me all over the place. Thanks for reminding me of the simplicity of our inner compass and the sacrifice of people pleasing.
I always thought I had good boundaries but questioned this having met a Narcissist bully neighbour, that has shown me I still have wounds from my past to heal and I am 63. People pleasing, trying to fit in, care taking being responsible, not knowing who I am or what my needs are. This is a great article and teaching to practice. Narcissists do not respect boundaries but it is still important to set them regardless. As you say it is essential for SELF CARE. Kept this to listen too over and over. Thank you so much and for soothing calm delivery.
my compass has always been cloudy and i called it confusion since both the sides of a coin has its own benifits i thought it was called being understanding by listening to people that my choices took a backseat and i found my boundries violated as soon as i started college this year thanks for this amazing reminder
This was an amazing talk! I needed to hear this since I grew up in a narcissist family which I didn’t realize until 2016 even though I could see as a child that something was wrong starting with the horrible treatment to me from my mother and my father and my father’s wife and other toxic relatives. I’m struggling to set boundaries but it starts with my compass. I really appreciated this!
what a truly inspirational take about interpersonal boundaries and intrapsychic boundaries. The importance of self-care, that we have the right to say no to the demands of everyday life and our family. I look at it this way there is only one of me. This has taken me a long time as my self -belief was about taking care of everyone else unmet needs rather my own especially when you have experienced developmental trauma. Thank you so much Sarri
Amazing talk, thank you. This is just what I needed right now. I’ve got to go back and say No to something that I’ve said Yes to knowing I shouldn’t and yes it’s been causing so much stress, but you have given me the strength to do it. I’ve always got myself into situations because of not having boundaries and not listening to my heart. You are a genuine lovely person, thank you so much x
Woww Sarrii, I as a man have been stuck in a rut with setting my own boundaries for nearly half a century now and have stress my whole life, your an inspiration to all of us Christian men in general who feel like were cut off under the belt by a evil minded society! If y’all know what I mean, hahaha! Sad but true, I’ve become a recluse and avoid noisy people! Love this message without a dought, I’m just too afraid to move forward in my life because of sever social anxiety and depression! I value anyone’s helpful opinion or can we support each other, From a silent Christian brother, Amen!
The line !!!! “Other people could look after my kids, my staff, my company but only I could take care of me ” Even if you are doing your boundaries right and looking at the compass and saying yes and no. You have separated your feelings from your boundaries and are doing some good self-care & you are listening to your “yes and no” . May be you have recovered from workaholicsm or numbing out . Even when you do all these pieces really really well, there are going to be some things that will challenge your boundaries . None of us are immune to financial problems/tough problems at work. When facing such situation, increase your self-care as you are caring for someone else. Second thing is reach out and build a web of resources. Join a support group, take a class, reach out. Third thing – Choosing your responsibilities and limiting your time during a challenge. During a challenge, we have tons of extra responsibility coming at us. You cannot do it ALL. You have to learn to let go of some of it. Technology can always be on but we are not machines & must find time when we are not doing any problem solving All of you are middle of life-story and your story is shaped by what you are saying “yes to and no to”. If you shut out the noise and listen, you are going to find yourself going through life with less stress and profoundly attuned to your purpose
Wow! I needed this so bad. A registered nurse 25yrs….Covid19 took something…and “no” was never the answer. I had a hard “no” my health started to plummet. Now that I’ve been off work 2 months and doing some catch up self care and self love…all I hear is “No” to going back. I thought this was my love but nope… I’m not meant to tolerate anymore human suffering…I hit my limit of being the one (it!) in a game of tag that not many want to play. I choose me now everyday. I’m getting it together… I still in recovery mode. Thank you for this ❤
This is so true. And I just figured this out for myself after decades of painful existence. If we don’t set boundaries we are PRISONERS in our environment whether it’s at home, at work, within our families, etc. Our indoctrination by society when we were very young to ‘go along to get along’t, be nice, don’t rock the boat has always served to make us miserable by allowing us to be manipulated by other human beings.
I liked when she said that ‘self care is how you treat yourself. That’s so very true. We have to 🤔 think about the what ifs. What I mean is, if we tell a person ‘no’, we have to get out of wondering what if the person no longer wants to talk to us to, what would happen to me if I don’t say no. Sometimes saying no is more healthier for you, then for the other person. And to me, that is self care.😊
Thank you Sarri. Beautiful talk. I believe I have a great, happy and free life overall because I’ve been doing boundary work. Yep- not always easy (going with the ‘no’s are always accompanied by a degree of self doubt and deprecation), and thanks to your talk I can appropriate the challenging times to simply sweating a bit! And thanks to your talk, my courage to keep my boundaries/self-care has been strengthened.
On the topic of writing…I found that I write better with people. So I have one friend I read my book I am writing to, and I have another friend I write with for 50 minutes every week. I can get 1200-2000 words written in that time, depending on research and I am now 36,000 words into my first draft. It is me saying yes to this and saying yes to the rest of my life. I like the balance and doing it with people. 🙂 I love boundaries. I’ve been teaching them for 19 years.
I believe in today’s world with the competition increasing people have become increasingly workaholic. Also with the mental health movement making people more and more empathetic, we have started to help each other and listen to each other a lot more (which is an amazing thing). But when the speaker talked about being exhausted of not being able to help other teenagers by her NGO, it really started a conversation that not many people talk about or realize. That it’s okay to feel burnt out and exhausted after trying to help people all the time. Sometimes you have to listen to your own exhaustion and declining mental health too. You can only help others if you yourself have the energy to help yourself. So it’s okay to take a break once in a while. There’s enough good left in humanity still and there’s God too who is looking after everyone 💕
Working in healthcare for so many years taught me at a very early stage that the first person I should take care of was actually ME. I couldn’t look after people if I neglect my own self-care. That’s not okay. And sometimes this requires setting boundaries. Otherwise, some employers and clients/patients would abuse me, and that’s something I won’t let happen. Sometimes it’s hard to say NO, but it’s necessary as well.
Every soul who tries to people please actually beholds great fear of being left out. We put our energy into making sure that people will stick around instead of healing and being enough for ourselves and we have a lot of trouble to rethink all of that. But being a people pleaser is one of the quickest ways of turning into a selfish, manipulative person. Excessive kindness can’t be your whole personality trait, otherwise you’re actually not saving any of that kindness for yourself. perusal lectures like that strengthens the self-therapy that I’m doing since a few talks with my actual therapist. I’m glad to listen to that and find some comfort and wisdom in the comments as well.❤
i have found in the past that i sometimes will tell people secrets about other people i know that i have no business telling other people. it hurts me to think of how insensitive i can be at times not caring how i effect other people with my words and choices. i don’t care to apologize since i feel i’ve done nothing wrong and only care to the point that i care how i look to others. if the prson angers me i would rather resort to making that person look bad rather than truly showing any real remorse 4 my actual choices. i also enjoy the giddiness i often feel at outsmarting someone i don’t like, as their personal pain, shame, and humiliation comforts me. i have no problem with hurting other people because i simply don’t care how they feel. i don’t feel i should have to, or that their health is my responsibility.
Most people have at least a vague idea how to set a boundary. For instance, “I will not accept shouting in this relationship”. Or ” I will not accept alcoholism in this relationship”. Or “I will not lend money in this relationship”. There are infinite variations. Emotional, relational, financial, whatever it is. but it all boils down to the idea of “I will not accept x,” whatever x is. Because a boundary, in essence, is a checkpoint or a wall that does not let things in. And if you’re smart about it, you build that wall just the right way so you keep the bad stuff out while still allowing the good stuff to come in. So most people know what their boundaries are; this is typically something intuitive.
Making boundaries with my mil probably saved my marriage.. she absolutely hates me now, but I have my dignity and my husband and I don’t really fight about her anymore. I wish our relationship could be better, but she’s a manipulative narcissist and I value my new backbone. I would actually wake up in hives the night before she would visit!
Thank you Sarri for sharing your story and wisdom with us in such a warm, loving way. Your presence is delightful and authentic. I remember 20 years ago going through a nervous breakdown while I was trying to save everyone but myself. It changed the course of my life for the better, but I still find myself challenged by decision making. I am deeply grateful for your presence and pearls of wisdom. I will carry them with me on my path as I continue to learn healthy boundaries. Many Blessings, Emily
This has given me a new perspective. Well spoken! I think this has been something I’ve been struggling with my whole life and was not even aware of what it was. I’ve been reading up on how to tell if you have issues with boundaries and I feel a deep seeded connection with the topic. I believe this is something I need to work on. Thanks for that.
Sarri, you are a wonderful human being and you delivered this powerful message with so much love! God bless you! I always knew how important self care is, but it is so hard to keep up and so easy to lose boundaries as single mother with young children— how can a mother say no to her little babies, they don’t even understand and meanwhile I was so exhausted and overwhelmed. I think moms have to be more intelligent and stronger than others !
Great talk! I love your calm, soothing voice. I am learning how important boundaries are. They help you learn who the good people are in your life. If you have narcissistic abusers in your life and you try and set boundaries, you will get gaslit, yelled at, thrown off the pedestal they put you on, and they will project all their stuff on you and blame you for any difficulties they are having in life. Walk toward people who respect your boundaries, and run away from those who can’t.
Such an insightful talk! To hear the reminders of self-care and firming up boundaries is very timely for me. I love TED talks and am so glad I stumbled upon this one. I read Sarri’s book: Transform Your Boundaries a year ago and it truly did transform my life. I will never be the same. I’m so grateful for her teachings.
Still working on mine. I did learn too late—but you have to make the mistake first—to listen to the voice or see the red flag when someone tries to empower/take advantage of you. If someone does this they don’t have your interests at heart, it’s about their own motivations. If someone gets upset with you for saying no, well, that’s a good filter for who should be in your life. If you don’t set the boundary there is angry, and also feelings of a lack of self-worth and self-destruction. When you yield to another you put them before YOU, which demeans YOU. I put respect above love, because without respect there can be no love, in my humble opinion. I used to think that working hard at work was a good thing. Then I realized with that employer I was simply letting them squeeze me while they made their money. Your ‘life’ is just that. If you don’t set boundaries, you don’t really live ‘your’ life.
This made me cry. My boyfriend had a stroke a year and a half ago. His family doesn’t seem to care how much I do for him. They seem to only care where his money will be going. His daughter in law that lives on the same street as us said she quit her job to help me doesn’t show up, doesn’t keep her word. I do make time for myself but how do I deal with the guilt I feel for doing so? Thank you so much for your article. I will be looking for more in the future.
Healthy boundaries are really for ourselves, not other people. It is our own behaviors we have every right to change or alter, & not neccesarily anyone else’s. Good luck changing other people… it is hard enough to change ourselves ~ even when we really want to ~! For example, asking for the behaviors you would prefer to see other people do, is a reasonable request… however, will they? What is within my locus of control is far more powerful! And i am within this locus of control.
Life being shaped by what you say YES to and what you say NO to. NO is a sentence. Just NO. And some people will get disappointed, and angry, as it unleashes emotions. When you ignore your COMPASS, it gets crowded over. So pay attention to your compass – a Yes or a No – you can trust it, because it is trying to take CARE of you. Self-Care more than exercise and diet: how you treat yourself, joy, play, rest, companionship. Dont ignore your own care, or you will break. 1. Increase self-care – step it up, especially when you care for someone else. 2. Reach out and build the web of resources, to guide you through the challenge. 3. Focus on choosing your responsibilities. Your life is being shaped by what you say YES to and what you say NO to.
Bounderies is important, after you finish discoverybof everything knowledges we discover is unlimited you have to balance and takes sometimes perhalf of boyndeties, coz of we all know about just to respect. Neve ever forget the bounderies any knowledges you discover if cannot balance all and take a bounderies will bring you to a …….. Just figured out evrythings you neef to know is to dovwhat is highlylearn and aware.
everyone else in my family has chronic health issues and we’re all under enormous stress to look after each other. I don’t really know how to care for them and for myself seeing as they seem to need my attention 24/7. How should I go about making boundaries? I just feel so suffocated being around them to the point I don’t really want to care anymore but that just results in more problems arising.
A small question. Isn’t a lot of the discussion about the crossing of boundaries something thats emerged out of technology being purposed to cross boundaries? What exactly are you supposed to tell tech that crosses your boundaries without you understanding it or where it’s hidden or it doesn’t even have a communication website? Strikes me that generally, a lot of people have always been good at developing reasonable boundaries and that the whole area is more of an internal problem with technology that is kind of being expressed to the public at large as if they and not businesses were primarily responsible. This is only one very small thing.