Gossip is a common form of human exchange that can cause trouble in both personal and professional relationships. It can destroy self-confidence, affect self-esteem, lead to depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, anxiety, and other issues. It can also alienate friends, ruin reputations, and even lead to ostracizing behavior and other forms of relational aggression.
To combat gossip, it is important to sort out negative gossip from the rest, ask yourself what the point of repeating the information is, figure out the problem behind the gossip, do something about the problem, give yourself a gossip specific time limit, set a personal no-gossip goal, and write a note to remind yourself.
Steer conversations away from gossip, as gossipers may share more with you than the gossip. Remind others not to gossip and walk away if they don’t listen. Avoid spying, as it fuels the trading of secrets and misinformation, and creates a climate of mistrust.
Gossip is also harmful for business relationships, as it can ruin productivity, spread paranoia, and hinder ongoing success. To combat gossip, create a company policy to combat gossip, acknowledge that the company does not intend to limit employee rights to talk about wages, hours, or working conditions as protected by the NLRA.
To address specific perpetrators of gossip, be mindful of your speech, catch yourself, take a moment to think about the person, look for a solution to the real problem, and don’t let stories get into your head.
To avoid work gossip, find an outlet at home, redirect your attention, separate personal and professional lives, be transparent, and keep quiet. Remembering verses about gossip and keeping your mouth shut can help prevent getting caught in a web of controversy.
📹 How to Shut Down Toxic Talk & Gossip at Work | #culturedrop | Galen Emanuele
Excited about this week’s fiery topic. Sharing two different ways you can respond to stop this type of talk in its tracks. Do these two …
Why do I gossip so much?
Why do people gossip and what are the consequences? Research shows that people gossip for many reasons. They do it to bond with others, to entertain themselves, to share information, to vent emotions, and to maintain social order. These motives can be seen as harmless and even constructive. Gossip can also be motivated by a desire to harm others. On the positive side, research has shown that gossip helps people cooperate and follow norms. Gossip can also lead to bullying and power struggles in organizations. Also, people are talking more about hate speech on social media. They want to know more about its effects. The different ideas about why people gossip and what it does to them make it an interesting topic to study. We want to discuss new ideas and insights about gossip in psychology. We want to understand why and when people gossip and how it affects them and their social environment. The papers in this Research Topic will help us understand gossip better. The proposed Research Topic welcomes manuscripts on topics including: How do communication channels affect the amount and content of gossip? What are the motives and consequences of gossip in virtual settings? What are the positive and negative aspects of gossip for the people involved, and how does the social context affect it? What are different cultural perspectives on gossip?
What is the golden rule of gossip?
Do to others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6:31). Christ’s “golden rule” helps us in many moral situations, including gossip. Gossip is talking about someone else’s private life or spreading rumors. St. Thomas Aquinas says gossip is against the virtue of justice because we spread information that isn’t ours to share or lies. Gossip harms reputations by spreading false information. You can also spread gossip by saying something true about someone, even if you know it isn’t true. Gossip can also be spread by making fun of someone.
How toxic is gossiping?
Your body can stay in fight-or-flight mode, which makes you feel helpless, angry, and anxious.
This can make you feel better by gossiping about others. Experts say it can make you sick. Hanscom says your immune system attacks your own tissues. Your metabolism uses fuel from your tendons, ligaments, cartilage, and brain. Gossiping can also make you tired, anxious, or depressed.
Is gossiping immature?
Gossip ruins relationships. Gossip spreads. This cancer spreads through any group. Most adults condemn gossip, but few admit to doing it. Adults don’t admit they gossip because it’s childish, petty, immature, and mostly associated with adolescence. Gossiping is verbal abuse. It can be as damaging as other forms of abuse. If you are gossiped about, there are ways to deal with it. If the person is in your family or social circle, you can confront them. Bring someone with you if the conversation gets aggressive. Abusers don’t like being confronted, so it’s good to have someone with you to witness the conversation and provide safety. Have a plan to leave if things get bad. If the person isn’t in your family or social circle, avoid them. If your abuser is at work, ask for help from your boss. If you’re an adult and find it hard to maintain positive relationships, you may be gossiping without meaning to hurt. Ask yourself a few questions to find out. Would I say this to them if they were there? Do I enjoy hearing about other people’s problems? Am I anxious if people talk about me? If you answered “yes” to these questions, you may gossip too much.
How do you guard against gossip?
The best way to handle gossip is to avoid it. Avoid busybodies. If they stop to chat, say you’re busy or change the subject. Don’t repeat the gossip. If you share a positive story in reaction to the gossip, your chatty coworkers might stop seeking you out. It’s not as fun to gossip with someone who’s positive. Sometimes avoidance isn’t enough. If a gossiper is eating away at your work time or hurting your reputation, you may have to confront them. In an article by LinkedIn, Joshua Miller, PayPal’s director of learning and talent development, suggests letting the gossiper know you’ll follow up with the target to get the truth. You can bring this up if you’re worried about the gossiper getting mad. If the gossip is about you, confront it, not the person. Miller suggests asking your colleague what the problem is and letting them know you’re concerned about the rumors. How can you help them?
How do you stop people from talking about you?
Some people gossip to get attention. If you ignore the gossips, they’ll stop talking about you. Another good response to gossips is a nice attitude. They’ll be surprised you’re so nice to them after they’ve been mean to you. If you’re positive, the person may feel bad for talking about you. Compliment the other person, like, “Wow, you worked hard on these flyers, Rose!” “The graphics look great.” Be sincere when complimenting. Don’t come off as sarcastic or insincere. If you can’t find something to compliment them on, help them instead. You could open a door for them or help them carry something heavy.
Is it best to ignore gossip?
Ignore it. Sometimes it’s easier to ignore it. It ignores it. It’s not worth it. If you’re a manager, your employees will talk about you. Rumors lose their importance over time. Don’t let it affect you. Don’t let others’ actions define you. They are other people’s ideas of you. People lash out, gossip, and focus on others to protect themselves. Dealing with gossips and being the subject of a rumor is hard. You can’t control what others say about you, but you can control how you respond. This makes you more resilient.
How to stop yourself from gossiping?
Don’t vent to people you don’t trust. … Learn to identify situations and topics that trigger you. … Change the subject. … Don’t repeat anything that shouldn’t be repeated. Enjoying your work is easier when you like the people you work with. Work can be irritating. Long commutes, irregular hours, and difficult bosses are just a few reasons people hate Mondays.
It’s great when you work with colleagues who are easy-going and normal. You can collaborate on work and debate Sunday night TV. People to have a drink with or talk about the latest annoying thing your boss said at Friday’s meeting. How do you know when you’ve gone too far and started gossiping about work?
Is gossiping a sin?
Gossip breaks trust between friends. “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy keeps a thing covered” (Prov. 11:13). If you’ve ever told someone something and they told others, you know how it hurts friendship. It’s hard to trust others. A person known as a “gossip” often has few real friends. “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets. Don’t associate with a gossip” (Prov. 20:19). The Bible says gossip is sin. Gossip is a sin. It’s a sin that everyone does, even in Christian circles. It’s included in the list of sins in Romans 1: “Since they did not acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.” They were full of sin. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, and maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless” (v. 28–31). Paul wrote in Titus that believers should not speak badly of anyone, avoid quarreling, be gentle, and show courtesy to everyone.
Avoid gossip. We must fight sin, including gossip. If someone starts to tell us something they’ve heard about someone else, we need to stop them. Tell them to stop talking and that you won’t spread the gossip. If someone is gossipy, avoid them. When a friend tells us something, we should keep it to ourselves. It’s not our story to share. We can’t share it without their permission. We should only share good and right things. “Don’t say anything bad. Only say things that will help others and make them feel good” (Eph. 4:29). Before we speak, we should ask ourselves: Is it good? Does it build up? Is it right? Does it help others?
How do you refuse to participate in gossip?
Determine if the information is true, harmful, or should be shared. Reflect on your feelings about the subject of gossip. If you’re upset, talk to them privately. Ask them to take the subject’s point of view or change the subject. Not all gossip is bad, so don’t eradicate it from your life. Learn to tell the difference between harmless gossip and hurtful gossip. 2. People who spread gossip don’t spend much time getting facts. They usually hear the information second or third hand. There’s a difference between talking about someone with a friend and spreading false information to many people. You don’t usually need to air your conflicts unless someone is dangerous. For example, telling people that Harry from accounting was cheating on his wife is malicious gossip. If your husband is cheating on you, you can tell people, especially your family.
How do I shut down gossip?
Say something polite but firm. Hey, I don’t appreciate what you’ve been saying about me. Stop. Walk away. This person doesn’t deserve your time. Ignore insults as you walk away. Sometimes, the rumor started by someone who didn’t mean to. It could be a friend who accidentally let a secret slip. In cases like this, it’s OK to express your disappointment, but don’t act vindictive or accusatory. Gossip is often best ignored. If you hear a rumor about you, ignore it. That’s ridiculous. People will copy your behavior. If you act like the rumor isn’t worth your time, others will probably do the same.
When you hear gossip about yourself, laugh it off. Act like it’s ridiculous! Laugh about it! Make the person who started the rumor the butt of the joke. How funny is it that they thought spreading a dumb rumor about you would work? Don’t comment or reply to gossip about you on social media. That way, the gossipers will have nothing else to gossip about. Many people gossip because they’re jealous of you or have low self-esteem. You could think of a rumor about you as a compliment. Someone was so infatuated with you, they felt like they had to lie to damage your image.
📹 3 Questions to Ask to Prevent Gossiping
Gossip may seem like one of those sins that the Bible doesn’t directly condemn, but in this video, Fr. Mike points out that the …
My father used to say that gossipers have a low I q. And he told me to stay away from people who like to sit around and gossip about other people and not to even talk to them. They are very low in intelligence they have nothing else to talk about. And they’re bored with their life. And mostly because they are getting older. And they just like to sit around and do nothing else
I had to slowly separate/ghost from a clique during COVID, because I noticed they talked shit about each other when one person was gone. But when everyone was together, they did all the fake smiles/fake love and pretended it was all good. Behind the scenes, I knew how certain people really felt, so I learned to mind my business and just wish the best for everyone. The problem with that is that they see you as a threat, because you don’t co-sign their BS, or you have your own life outside of the clique. Once you stop showing up to things, they take it as a personal insult and get pissed! It’s best to keep a respectful distance when you peep the BS. Because even though they’ll now see you as the enemy, you have your peace and freedom from the shenanigans they play with each other.
My problem is I am the only one who isnt gossiping/backbiting. So as much as I love my job I cant stand the toxic environment. They all enjoy it and laugh at each other. Seems like technically no one likes anyone and yet they all bond tightly over the “humorous” backbiting. The one thing they all agree on is that I am the best target since I will just not engage/protect myself. Makes me want to quit the job I love but then I worry that im just going to jump into another toxic environment 😢
I am working in a company with good jobs, but there is a heavy toxic environment in some departments, sadly mine is one of them. I got two “clowns”, who when they open their mouths, they start to gossip brutally. I got 2 years and started to feel anxiety and got enough. Today one of them entered my room and asked why I am quitting ? My answer was: “I am tired of listening bullshit”, with my legs on the chair. Every normal human being got his limit, mine was exceeded.
I think especially if I am in a meeting, I don’t think it’s helpful for anyone for me to remain silent while they’re gossiping about someone, and I think it’s helpful to remind them that we don’t need to talk about these things. The gossip will end if the silent people point out that no one should gossip!
One thing about a rumor, people will use that against u without knowing who u are. And that is Kid behavior u be too nice too ppl… they will assume URE a weirdo, gaslight u, expect the worst out of u and show fake love to u and things like that . Have friends that will help sabotage you. I had a rumor spread about liking another girl. Which was once a manipulative cousin to me. And I’d didn’t find out till the person who was beside me Laughed. The fact I didn’t realize this rumor was going on. Anger has been built in on me for 3 weeks. I had no emotions. Rumors spread so fast becuz of school. That they had people harass my home. Having already depression from ADHD and anxiety . A quick fraught in my personality dropped. I cared about nothing but my family. I don’t know how long I’ll be feeling this way but…. It’s healing. That’s all god wants for u is to have inner peace. ☮️
Good advice, but there is also a third reason why shutting down toxic talk would be good for you: associating with people telling gossip every day and immersing yourself in toxicity and gossip repeated day over day over day will also become so ingrained into your personality that will hinder you from positively changing yourself the day you need it.
Great pointers. Thank you for clarifying a prickly situation for me. I am an extrovert, and at work, I am very easily drawn into “sharing my thoughts” about many different subjects ( and people). Happy to let others know what my viewpoint is, I have found myself in situations where this viewpoint was not objectively relayed and actually distorted. After a few times, I realized that my personal viewpoints were being interpreted or presented as malicious gossip. I felt truly awkward of being so open and started noticing that my innocent intention was augmented by a co-worker. Thank you for making so clear what to do, in circumstances like these. I am a professional and do not wish to see my standards degraded, no matter how well-intended my comments were.
I live in a complex where there’s a bunch of seniors and there’s some really nice ones here and but there’s some that are just out to lunch. I mean, you can tell that they have nothing better to do. And they love to be mean they love to cause trouble. There’s some people in here that were sent from a mental ward a few years ago, and now they have to be around us and they got mental problems, they sit around and they smoke marijuana and it’s screwing up the brain. I can see a big change in the brain chemistry. And for anybody out there that thinks that marijuana doesn’t affect your brain. Come and live here and live among the people I know in my apartment.
No “gossip” is good especially when the people at work are toxic af. I will say whatever I want about anyone at anytime & to their faces too & I will not be censored by toxic people. Who clearly are getting mad bc I shut down their politics game. I love to mess with that toxic game of work politics & making good workers do all the work. I love breaking up the status quo & breaking all the silent toxic af rules.
I loved how you mentioned ” i don’t have space for this / that “.. definately going to utilize that. I have always been the type “if you will not go to the source, then please let me out of it ” in other words, i’m willing to decipher a peaceful outcome, but if they just want a cheerleader for their side of the story, i’m just not the one. Please spare me.
I have a group of mean girls in my trading unit. One of the mean girls made a unit announcement when instructors left the room, “snitches get stitches” and she has said it more than once. When I have seen people try to tell the mean girls to be quiet bc they talk to loud they get verbally abusive and once, one of the mean girls had to tell another mean girl to stop being so rude. What should I do? Mind you, these are county social workers in training who are intimidating fellow professionals. I can’t imagine how they might act with families who have experienced trauma and abuse.
Hi Galen from CultureDrop! Thanks for your article! I believe these tips are really valuable if the gossip is e.g. a colleague or a customer. However, when it’s your boss, someone you’re financially dependent on or anyone else with a power differential like a division manager, these tips are really hard to apply because it may seem preposterous to say to a boss “shall I help you formulate a reply to this person” or disrespectful to say “I don’t have time for this” Can you make a article about how to shut down the gossiping when the person gossiping is your boss or in another position of authority over you? E.g. I’m in a situation where I work in a team of 4, it’s a “non-hierarchical” structure but effectively my 3 colleagues are my 3 bosses, they’re all 15-20 years my seniors and I’m in a junior role. It’s a tiny social services provider, so there are no other colleagues. They are slacking off former junior staff members (e.g. saying to me “well she decorated this, but that’s the only thing she was good for” / “she was this pretty, spoiled girl and thought she was better than us” or also slackibg off + telling really, really intimate details about our clients (e.g. telling me about one clients trauma and her marital problems – this is not related to our work at all, they only know these things because the clients trust them and tell these intimate things / making disparaging remarks about clients). When my bosses make mistakes and other service providers rightfully tell them off, they endlessly complain to me about it.
I’m trying to avoid a woman but it’s difficult when it’s an open office of some sort, where you can see everyone. My keeping my head down and minding my business when she was a new employee must have struck a nerve with her and another new employee she befriended. Not a negative thought towards anyone was in my mind until she started acting out. I’m unsure if avoiding her and acting as if there was never a problem in the first place (because in my mind there was. I felt so at peace with my whole life and work situation), is making me look bad or smart for not participating in drama. I don’t stop to ask anyone for validation, as that could be seen as insecurity or give someone something to talk about. And words spread here like wildfire. I waste no time gathering my things once the clock strikes 5, because that’s when she starts to relax and trash talks about anything. No one else in the department, except for maybe one other, talks like this except for her. I’ve been working at this place for a long time. I keep my head down for a good reason. I know the ins and outs of almost everything, and can easily identify someone that wants to cause trouble or isn’t someone I’d want to associate with. This place is the perfect recipe for drama, and it just needs that one thing to make it all happen. edit to add missing word
What if you are the person being gossiped about and you indirectly hear it all: it’s all happening behind the half-wall (sort of open consent) while I am only learning the new job? Examples: 1) “I think she and him are dating because he offered to drive/drop her home” (Reality: we were former colleagues at a different company though, plus I am gay ….which makes it ridiculously funny, and plus he heard the same sh*t too, about me and him dating, hahahha). 2) I am not talking to the people in parts (me and my colleague in Service, alternate areas and so we work/make Repair estimates like this: 1 week she deals more with local parts people in our office while I communicate more with parts people in the rest of the province, and them we switch on a weekly basis. 3) I don’t talk to a sales reps for some other imagined reason…….. Reason is the exact same as the one above: alternating areas w/in country. There are 2 more scenarios they came up with and convinced themselves to be true and spread around, but they don’t come to mind at this time. So, 3 month probation and 5 scenarios. Film-makers to say the least. These who gossip and come up with scenarios are office people, we’re about 6 of us there, including the manager. All I ever do is do my job, finished my 3 moths probation successfully, I am still slower than my colleague opposite my desk, and I can’t chat everyone up, plus they are supposed to be busy too. :)))) I do chat with them from daily for a little bit, here and there, especially after a weekend.
I have a good heart and I befriend anyone people who I thought was cool with me got a rumor going on about me and I don’t know why I never did anything to them they laugh and joke. Sad thing I’m only at that job for a few more months I can easily get another job but im moving out of state NC people are toxic as a black man I’m going to say I see why white people judge them.
And The Thing is, a lot of them are nosy. They stick their head out the window and they say I wonder where that person is going. I wonder why that person did this. I wonder why they did that. And they always say I wonder why she or he was over at so And so. So the gossip starts, and they say well. I know why she’s over at So and so. So there are a bunch of backstabbing trouble making people where I live I just have to appreciate those who’re not like that and be friends with them. The bible says that gossip is like murder. The bible says do not be going from house to house gadding about. And yet these people are the ones that think they’re so high and mighty.
This feels like putting a band aide on a infected wound. Sure it covers it up, but if not properly treated, it will get worse. If you’re in a position of leadership, is it enough to just push it aside? I feel like this wil result in people siloing and not addressing issues. I’m pretty sure you’ll stop hearing about the gossip, but the gossip won’t stop. And that will hide the issue, but it won’t hide the team slowly falling apart.
I would never say wow, I would like to help. You can formulate some kind of conversation to help yourself. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That way you are not getting involved. Why should it be anybody’s business to try to help the gossiper. It’s not your problem in the beginning. When you make a suggestion to help somebody that is a gossiper you’re getting involved. Don’t make their problem become Your problem. Get out of it, alienate yourself.
2 John 1, 9:11 9 If anybody does not remain in the teaching of Christ but goes beyond it, he does not have God with him: only those who remain in what he taught can have the Father and the Son with them. 10 If anyone comes to you bringing a different doctrine, you must not receive him into your house or even give him a greeting. 11 Whoever greets him has a share in his wicked activities. brothers in ctisto, I invite you all to stand firm in the faith that we have always heard, the only and true, “OUR CATHOLIC FAITH”. Until the end of time. God bless you.!!
I try my best to stay away from certain social crowds…. Social media is the biggest threat in my opinion. I would be lying if I said that I never gossiped but I do my best to be careful in what i say. I can care less what others say about me (gossip) they have no clue what has gone in my life and the actions that i took to better myself with my faith as a a Catholic. When others gossip about you it’s all a defensive mechanism because they feel threaten. I let it roll of me. Thanks Father Mike
James 3 starts by saying that we must not all be teachers, for we will be judged more strictly. If one makes no mistakes in what he says, he is a perfect man, and has control of his body also. I have heard it said that our soul breathes through our ears, as it inhales the words of others. If we are breathing in toxins, ie- gossip or false things, then we are poisoning our souls. In return, we exhale through our mouths that which our souls are made of. That is why it is also important to cultivate good friendships and take stock into what you feed your soul. Good and true, Fr. Mike. Thank you!
My Mom and I were gossiping the other day and my Dad said something like, “Well, while you two have been running your mouths I’ve been thinking…” and I realized what I’d been doing and I told him thank you for the gentle reminder that I was gossiping and that I felt bad about it. They thought I was crazy. Haha But I have been working on that for a while now, and it’s weird how easily you get going, even if you don’t have a malicious intent. “Well, I heard so and so…” I’ll try and remember the rule of 3.
ST. FRANCIS DE SALES: “Everyone paints devotion according to his own passions and fancies. A man given to fasting thinks himself very devout if he fasts, although his heart may be filled with hatred. A man doesn’t dare wet his tongue with wine or even water but won’t hesitate to drink deep of his neighbor’s blood by slander, vilification, and gossip. Another man thinks himself devout because he daily recites a vast number of prayers, but after saying them he utters the most disagreeable, arrogant and harmful words at home and among his neighbors.”
Ik I’m a little late but thank you sm for this article 🙏 I have the hardest time not gossiping or overhearing due to the nature of the friends I hang around with, but now I’m learning to bite my tongue and, even tho it sounds a little crazy, if it’s really good gossip I’ll just tell it to myself or pretend I’m talking to my favorite celebrity about it 😅 kind of weird but it sure does help
I think this was so useful and helpful especially if we wanna live good, sin-free lives, by performing this “Test of Three” before we speak to someone: a) is what we going to share true? b) is it good news? and c) is it helpful or useful in any way? If not then it’s better not to bring up the topic at all. I think Scriptures says somewhere that we will be judged by our own words, so please Brothers and Sisters in Christ let’s be cautious with our tongues and use it as tools for good instead of for evil. Thank you Fr Mike for your words of wisdom, there isn’t a article I don’t watch where I don’t learn something vital to my faith from you! Thank you for spreading the Good News and explaining it to us, your Brethren!
I lived in Manhattan, NY from 1976-2000. During that time I was a frequent visitor to St Francis of Assisi Church on West 31st Street. I adored that church. The day that 911 happened we lost Friar Mychael Judge. He was chaplain to the fire house across the street from the church. He was a first responder. And he is listed as 911’s first casualty. There is a beautiful photo depicting him being carried away. A true hero to his church. I knew some of the friars there including Friar Mychael. He was outspoken and respected by everyone. They named a street after him.
You have good points with Gossip. Regardless of whether something is true or not, Gossip is a horrific sin. A good example right now in the media is how Megan Kelly keeps repeating episodes on Megan Markle. To me it’s too many, almost vindictive. Now I’m not a Democrat-I’m a conservative Republican. But whatever happened in the Royal Family for Megan Markle to feel suicidal, and to leave the Royal family–well that’s up to them. There’s too many debates on this. Who cares? I know you’re a friend of Megan Kelly’s and often appear on her show. But this Gossip–and it is Gossip at its absolute worst, has got to STOP! I am not even a fan of Markle– not fond of her in any way— but the exploiting of people even if they are not in your political party or religion is the ROOT OF ALL EVIL. Do the world a favor—Stop it with your friends in Media! The Royal family hasn’t had a good reputation especially since Diana’s death and Andrew’s involvement with Epstein Island. These are things that are monumentally wrong with the world. Everyone wants their airtime— but to put a Stop to Evil— picking on the small person isn’t going to work. Gossip needs to Stop and Facts need to be put on the Table–especially since we are in the End of Times.
A gossiper is a weak insecure individual that will believe anything they hear about someone else and say it their small group of bullies. Gossip is always a tiny fraction of the truth. There is often days weeks months years or decades of abuse that provokes someone who is bullied to react in manner that gives bullies and gossipers the slightest chance to continue the cycle of abuse. Bullies always get what they deserve in the end.
This article is SO lovely! I definitely want to use the test of 3. Gossiping can be really hard not to do, but I want to keep improving and this test may be just the thing. I will have to check out James 3 soon too. Kind of appropriate chapter 3 is the one about how to use our words and there is the test of 3 on the same topic… 😉 Nice job with this article, Fr. Mike (as always) and cute joke about pronouncing Socrates. 😉
This was TRUE, GOOD and USEFUL 🙀 Seriously, thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone to speak of that which is from God. You manage to soften the heavy message with your 🤡 demeanor — and you get it across. A side note is – you look very nice clean shaven ….it is true, its a compliment so its good and if you get an idea to grow it again – this comment may be very useful lol………
Thank you Father for posting this article I really needed to hear it at work me and my coworkers definitely have a problem with gossiping about each other I guess sitting behind the computers maybe we all get bored I don’t know but almost every time I go to confession gossiping is something that I always have to get off of my heart so it was very good to hear these tips on how I could stop myself from falling into gossip because it is not following the Lord when you start gossiping about other people God bless you father Mike and may peace be upon you always
I love Father Mikes articles I’ve been perusal them since 2016. This is a good guide for me because I talk a lot and sometimes there’s things I say that I shouldn’t. But then that’s pretty much all humanity. So A is it true, B is it good, and C is it useful. If it’s none of those things then we probably shouldn’t say or share any of these.
Great article, good tips! This year I made a resolution to make my very best to avoid gossipping. Sometimes where you see a group of people, surely there may be some kind of uncharitable words regarding others. Somewhere in the Bible( James) he says if one seeks perfection one has to guard the tongue. See? How weird gossipping truly is? Many many thanks Fr Mike…you teach in a practical gripping way!!
😂😂😂 I LOVE THIS website!!! I have watched a lot of articles on this website and I can’t hold it in any longer… so I want to answer the 3 questions about this website…Is it true? God yes! Fr. Mike is hilarious and he sounds like Mel Gibson to me! 😂 Is it good? Of course! 🥳🎉Comedy is always good in the right setting, and Fr Mike along with others… speak and relate to us just like we’re ALLL apart of one big happy and crazy family of love and acceptance! 🥰🤪 And is it useful? YEP! 😎 Because when people can see that you are genuine in admitting your own flaws… and showing that no matter who we are or what we’ve done…GOD LOVES US NO MATTER WHAT… we will always come back to a place of a “peaceful loving and safe home.” So…. this website is useful to everyone and since we’re all together…” There is no place like home!” And I’m happy to be here with all of you! May God continue to Bless our home… thanks for sharing!🤗❤️
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, nor any power, neither in the future nor in the past, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the LOVE OF GOD THAT IS IN CHRIST JESUS.” (Romans 8:38-39) (Numbers 6:24-26) GOD LOVES US, let’s spread HIS LOVE AND GOODNESS! Stay STRONG, FAITHFUL, CHRIST-LIKE, JESUS IS COMING SOON, DONT LOSE HOPE, SUNDAY IS COMING! satan’s time is ALMOST UP! WE ARE GOING HOME, WE LIVE AND REST IN VICTORY, PRAISE THE LORD WHO SETS US FREE!!! HALLELUJAH! AMEN!❤🙏🏼🫶🏼😊❤️
I’ve watched a couple of your articles and I wanted to express my gratitude for the insights. It has helped me to gain higher understanding when trying to wrap my mind around this topic…I agree with most of this presentation, but the second question: is it good? doesn’t sit well with me. Although i feel most people are addicted to focusing on the negative attributes of life just for the sake of it, there are times when we must talk about uncomfortable situations or experiences (that could be very well perceived as ‘bad’) because it can provide constructive criticism that will actually be of benefit to ourselves or the people around us. If we do not bring certain things to light, we cannot make the necessary changes that foster higher understanding and awareness. Interested to hear anyones thoughts on this…. Take good care and much love.
When you’re thinking about gossiping Think about the consequences a probably works hurt that person . I also think about how’d you trying to hurt that person . I used to do something like that All that does is hurt someon. God has said Do not get even with someone if that’s your purpose because if someone does something to you forgive.
#frmike this article was so helpful, Fr Mike. Just a few weeks ago, a priest gave a homily near me about how to grow in humility we need to root out gossip. I’ve noticed a lot lately how much conversations with people in my life have gossip or complaining as the source and it feels like an uphill battle constantly redirecting it. I’ve definitely fallen short myself. Do you have any tips on how to inspire better conversation when someone brings up gossip?
Another thing I would like to add is…”is it my place to say this?” Because it may answer all those 3 questions, but another person may not want you to tell their business. They would like to share it themselves. I’ve had this happen to me, and I hope this makes sense. Is that a good question to ask myself? Idk that’s just my little addition to this article, but I would like to hear others thoughts! Thanks for the article btw!
What do you do when gossip is about you? How do we deal with it and bullying in the workplace? This has happened to me. I have cried and felt anxiety because of this toxic culture that takes place at work. I been wanting to vent, cry about the situation for being picked on. How do we deal with not falling into this?
CCC 2477 Given the standard referenced above I have a few questions. This whole topic confuses me because there are things that fall within the definition that seem justified and even morally correct. If I am at a store and a cashier does something really bad and you leave a bad review or tell their manager, would that be gossip? Or if you get a call from your spouse asking why you are late and you tell them it’s because your boss showed up to work under the influence of some substance and you had to take them to the hospital, is that gossip? Or if a young woman comes home from youth group and tells her father about a boy she is interested in and who asked her on a date and they have a conversation about that boy’s good and bad attributes, is that gossip? I know reporting a crime is not gossip and I know talking about your friend’s breakup with your other friend is gossip, but I can’t tell you exactly where the line is.
So I have a question now after listening to this: When is news considered gossip? And how does that pass the three question test? 1. Is it true? OK simple, that can be verified. But questions 2 and 3, is it good, and is it useful? Those questions seem subjective and I’m not sure how to apply that to news
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:32 📖 The importance of guarding our speech and avoiding deceitful words. 00:59 🔥 Recognizing the dual power of words to warm and destroy, as discussed in James chapter 3. 01:27 🤐 Socrates’ “Test of Three” questions to determine whether to share information: Is it true? Is it good? Is it useful? 02:26 🌐 The inclination to spread negative news and the need to prioritize truthfulness. 03:21 💬 Society’s attraction to bad news over good news and the significance of applying the “Test of Three.” 03:50 👍 Emphasizing truthful, good, and useful comments online, aligned with the “Test of Three” principles. Made with HARPA AI
A lot of teachers post this test of 3. It really helps me as a substitute teacher, because I can point to it, ask the questions, and let the students analyze what they’re about to tell me…. or what they’re saying to other students about another student. A much simpler version for the younger grades goes, “Is there blood? Is there throw up? Is somebody hurt?”
Something I have learned when I’m going to confession . I don’t talk about my wife In a bad way What I may say I feel ashamed what I did to my wife or said to my wife I talk about myself not what she did to me I may talk about my kids and confession For a concern How can I help Is them Because it’s a challenge When you have 2 boys I’m a middle school And a daughter that’s in high school I’m only saying something what can I do to help. I also say I get mad and may I may say something to them and confession But it’s never about to hurt them .
#AskFrMike I am an Indian Catholic Christian, as well as an athlete… Exercise and meditation is a part of my daily routine…. As an Indian Yoga come in exercise and Meditation …. Even in the training coach suggest us to take part in Yoga… Can a Christian do Yoga? Because it’s part of culture and training it’s really very confussing for me and can’t focus on my training mentally… Please answer me…
Absolute great advice…. but it is not from Socrates. It is one of those internet sayings that gets attributes to famous people to give credibility. St. Francis of Assisi is credited with lots of sayings that are not from him, e.g., “Preach the gospel at all times; use words if necessary.” Catchy but not from Francis.
askFatherMike# hopefully someone there at ascension presents will see this question and be able to ask Father Mike: In the vampire series on Netflix, “The Originals”, is this a sin to watch? and in the show are some things sacrilegious or blasphemous? Some scenes take place in a Catholic Church or a set made to look like a Catholic Church.
Oh he was so proud of his brother Saint Peter. To tell you the truth I helped plan the first Arts Cerlebration on Hamilton Street with my friend St. BarbAra of Croatia, St. Peter etc. St. Barbara of Croatia WAS in chRGE OF THE WHOLE THING. So I do have to elaborTE IN BOOKS ETC BUT mOTHER angelica screwd me over so thAts your problem not mine.
#Askfathermike I need help with dealing with gossip tho. Like I would be strong down at a table with some friends (small school so don’t have much of an option) and EVERYTIME one of them doesn’t fail to critique complain or make fun of someone else. EVERYTIME. And I have come to realize this is coming from a place of her own insecurities the thing is what am I supposed to do? Be a drama queen and the moment she says something stand up and leave? Or should I talk about it with her honestly? I just don’t want to criticize her or turn out to be impulsive and rude…. any advice of how to react when these cases come up? Thanks!
I love Archangel Gabriel. I still remeber back in 1981, he came to see me from Spain. He came to my parents home. My dad picked him up at the Bethlehem bus strtion from New York. He spent the night. He slept in my youngest brother Joes room because he was married with his own family already in 1978 or 9 I even forget but St. John Neumann of Philadelphia has slept in it. You know what I remmeber about St. Joseph in 1980-1981. He claimed he loved me in public. He used to come over to my mom And ads home if someone was sick like me if I was staying there with his black bag to che ck me . He was a real neurologist. And he had to go to HahnAmann University too like Anyone else to get his legal rights to practice medicine in this country. Sure. He and I lived right neaR one another in Philadelphia near the olDtheatre that Grace Kelly Started in.wE WERED WITH sT. jOHN vIANNEY A LOT BACK THEN TOO. hE LIVED IN THAT NEIGHBORHOOD SO sT. jOSEPH STAYED At his home.
You have good points with Gossip. Regardless of whether something is true or not, Gossip is a horrific sin. A good example right now in the media is how Megan Kelly keeps repeating episodes on Megan Markle. To me it’s too many, almost vindictive. Now I’m not a Democrat-I’m a conservative Republican. But whatever happened in the Royal Family for Megan Markle to feel suicidal, and to leave the Royal family–well that’s up to them. There’s too many debates on this. Who cares? I know you’re a friend of Megan Kelly’s and often appear on her show. But this Gossip–and it is Gossip at its absolute worst, has got to STOP! I am not even a fan of Markle– not fond of her in any way— but the exploiting of people even if they are not in your political party or religion is the ROOT OF ALL EVIL. \r \r Do the world a favor—Stop it with your friends in Media! \r The Royal family hasn’t had a good reputation especially since Diana’s death and Andrew’s involvement with Epstein Island. These are things that are monumentally wrong with the world. Everyone wants their airtime— but to put a Stop to Evil— picking on the small person isn’t going to work. Gossip needs to Stop and Facts need to be put on the Table–especially since we are in the End of Times.
This is not gossip. It is fact. One of Osteen’s pastors used the title to one of your articles. So should I care that someone is perusal my viewing activity on YouTube? I don’t think I care because he referred to Mary Magdalene as the “prostitute” whom Jesus forgave. I realize there are many opinions about Mary Magdalene. If I add my two cents am I gossiping, lol! I like her too much. We all have our special heroines or heros. I love to champion women. She was with Jesus. She was his follower. She was with him at the cross. And she was the first to see Jesus after he died. She is important. The Catholic Church corrected her status from prostitute to…I need to go fact check this. You look like Popeye when you make that face, lol.