Verbal abuse is a form of emotional abuse that can take various forms, including verbal mistreatment. The Bible warns against the dangers of an angry person and encourages individuals to avoid such situations. The key to healing is to recognize verbal abuse for what it is and take deliberate steps to stop it and bring healing.
The Bible does not use the term “emotional abuse” but does prohibit it. It teaches that God is a loving Father who offers forgiveness, healing, and restoration to all who seek Him with a repentant heart. Emotional abuse violates the two greatest commandments: love God and love others as yourself (Matthew 22:35-40). It also violates God’s design for marriage.
There are different kinds of abuse, including verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, mental, and psychological. Abuse causes harm or injury to a person, and insults and harsh words are abusive. The Bible does not describe anyone abusing someone else verbally, but it does support God’s care for the emotionally abused person.
Emotional abuse is a sin, as it reveals a desire for control. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines psychological abuse as the systematic perpetration of malicious and harmful behavior. Marriage should be held in honor among all and the marriage bed should be undefiled, as God will judge the sexually immoral and abusive relationships.
📹 It is biblical to leave a truly abusive spouse. But be careful
This is merely a snippet from 2 years ago when I did my 3 hour teaching on “Divorce and Remarriage: Everything the Bible says …
How to know when God wants you to leave a relationship?
11 Signs God Is Telling You to Break Up with Your Boyfriend: 1. You have a gut feeling. 2. He makes you disobey God. 3. He ignores your boundaries. 4. You don’t feel in control around him. 5. He’s more important to you than God. 6. He doesn’t share your commitment to God. 7. You don’t enjoy your time together. If you’re wondering if God wants you to break up with your boyfriend, you probably don’t know what to do. You have to decide to break up with your boyfriend, but we can help you make the right choice. We’ll show you signs that a breakup might be right for you. When we accept God into our hearts, He can help us find the right path. If you feel your relationship is wrong, try to see if this is a warning from God. Scripture says that God gives us intuition. As the Book of Job asks: “Who gives the heart intuition and the mind instinct?” Intuition is a great gift, but not infallible. Christians should use their reasoning to decide the right path. Before breaking up with your boyfriend, talk to him. It can be hard to tell your partner you’re unsure about the relationship. But talking it through might help.
What words are considered verbal abuse?
Signs of verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is using words to hurt another person. This can include yelling, screaming, or swearing. These behaviors are attempts to gain power and control you. It is abusive and should not be tolerated. Verbal abuse can also be subtle. People who are abused verbally often doubt if what they are experiencing is really abuse. They wonder if it’s a big deal. If you are being verbally abused, you may notice:
What reasons does God give for divorce?
Four reasons a Christian can divorce: adultery. Jesus mentions adultery as a reason for divorce. … Addiction. Without treatment, addiction will take over. … Abuse. We usually think of physical abuse. … Abandonment. Finally, abandonment can cause brokenness. Divorce is common in our culture, but for Christians in broken marriages, it can be a moral dilemma. Should they stay in an unhealthy marriage for a vow? Or do they get a divorce? The choices can leave Christians in a kind of limbo. They are no longer committed to a marriage that is irreparable, but they cannot move on. As a Texas family attorney and Christian, I have helped many Christians decide whether to divorce or not. Christians also ask me about divorce.
Are Christians sinning if they divorce?; Are they going to hell?; Must they stay in an unloving, unwholesome marriage?; Are there any circumstances that permit Christians to divorce?
What does the Bible say about saying hurtful words?
Proverbs 12:18 Wise people ignore hurtful words. 17 An honest witness is truthful. But a liar lies. 18 Thoughtless words hurt.
What to say to someone who verbally abuses you?
If it’s safe, calmly tell the person that their words hurt you. When you say xx, it hurts my feelings. That comment about xx is hurtful. When you say xx, I feel criticized. Comments like xx make me feel bad about myself. I don’t like it when you talk to me like that. When calling out verbal abuse, be clear with the person who hurt you. Tell them what they said, how it made you feel, and why it was wrong.
Use clear language to ask them to stop. It’s tempting to be gentle when asking for abuse to stop, especially if you’re afraid. Be clear and firm in your request.
What does the Bible say about abusive language?
Ephesians 5:4 helped me stop swearing. “Don’t be rude. Be thankful.” Context is important to understand this text.
What does the Bible say about narcissistic abuse?
Narcissism is sinful and foolish. Narcissism is the epitome of sin. It’s about worshiping and controlling yourself. The Book of Proverbs calls narcissistic behaviors foolish. The fool makes up his own rules, ignores advice, and doesn’t care about the harm he causes. Understanding the biblical definition of a fool helps us understand narcissistic behavior and its spiritual implications.
Narcissism and Emotional Connection. Narcissism makes it hard to connect emotionally with others. Narcissism makes it hard to be close to others. The Bible says husbands should love their wives like Christ loved the church. This means they should love them sacrificially and emotionally. Narcissism puts self-interest and control first, which makes it hard to form real emotional connections.
Complementarity and Interdependence. It’s important to recognize and appreciate differences between people to overcome challenges posed by narcissism. Both partners should complement each other. The Bible says a “helpmate” is more than just a supporter. It shows how relationships depend on each other. Each partner should be treated with respect and their individual needs should be met, to create a healthy and balanced relationship.
How do you fight back against verbal abuse?
Walk away if you’re being verbally abused. If you feel safe, walk away when someone is trying to hurt you with words. … Stay calm. … Know your boundaries. … Protect your self-worth. … Use empathy. … Center.
Words matter. They can sometimes help, but in cases of verbal abuse, they can hurt. If someone makes you feel intimidated, mad, sad, confused, or vulnerable, they’re abusing you. Verbal abuse can affect your mental health. Even if it doesn’t hurt you, it’s still abuse if the intention was to hurt you. If you’re being verbally abused, help is available. You’re not alone, and you can stay safe.
Does God forgive narcissists?
God’s love covers sin, but sin is not excused. You don’t have to put up with it. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you can set boundaries, ask for help, and walk away. If you feel you are in a narcissistic relationship, we can help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
📹 Blinded By Rage – Verbal Abuse
Words have the power to heal or hurt. In this video excerpt from T.D. Jakes, he talks about verbal abuse and its crushing effects.
I have so many thoughts on this topic. I have wrestled with my decision over and over. I think God intervened, showing me that leaving to protect my children’s sensibilities and minds was the right thing, at various points. I was never perfect, but I nearly stopped believing in God…so… I haven’t remarried, but… And…marriage is not “forever” and it’s not “eternal.” Jesus refuted the latter notion and the fact that marriage is a covenant means it can be broken. God desires us to remain married for life. He hates divorce, but He also hates violence–which are stated together in Malachi. While some say you’re reading into the Scripture, I disagree. (Disclaimer: I am not a Bible scholar, but I love the Bible and Jesus and learning about all of them.) “Come, let us REASON *together*.” Even if you disagree with someone leaving their abusive spouse, have compassion on each other. Many of us are wracked with guilt and self-doubt, which is punishment enough. However, I find it very callused that some will “celebrate” their divorce. To me, it’s a very sad thing. It’s like a death where the person just ends. Why would you celebrate that? At any rate, this article was a balm for me. Thank you!
How do you differentiate between the exceptions and the abuse of the exceptions? How does reconciliation and restitution work if the divorce card is being played/pursued? What accountability is there for the one who wants divorce at all costs while the other person wants to work through reconciliation and restitution? How does this take into account legal separation, which is spoken of in Scripture? There are always two sides. To be fair, my wife divorced me. I had things that needed to be worked on in me. I was completely against divorce and I still am. It was proposed that a legal separation should be pursued. At the time I was completely against anything. Looking back now I can see the wisdom of a legal separation. Legal separation gives the opportunity for reunion. Regardless of how you view yourself as either Hosea or Gomer, we are both. Where would Gomer be if Hosea pursued divorce? Where would Israel be if the Lord did not pursue a reconciliation? Where we be with the Lord without reconciliation and restoration?
I’m not a victim to anyone! My husband is a 3X convicted felon because he doesn’t want to keep his hands off me. Unfortunately his enabling mother pays for his attorneys so he’s never spent much time in jail and while he’s serving his little sentences the rest of his family keep me in a constant state of anxiety and fear by threatening and harassing me the whole so I don’t get much done with my escape plan. It’s on purpose cuz you know trust and all, hope and believing they wouldn’t be sabotaging you on purpose to keep you from leaving right? That’s crazy talk! NOT! It’s crazy but now 100% verified and it’s funny how now that I know they did that they don’t want to interact with any of us. It’s fine. We’re fine, now! And I have the Lord to think for that! He really does make miracles happen. It’s not over but I see the light and I’m headed straight for it.
I have been with my husband 22 years. He is very emotionally and verbally abusive. He is a very angry person. He is a narcissist and has narcissistic rage. He has been physical in the past as well when I have tried to stand up for myself against his anger. He is also unapologetically addicted to porn. He is a severe alcoholic and is addicted to drugs. He neglected our family to go out and use or drink almost daily. He has neglected me our whole relationship, but my eyes finally started to open to how bad things were when I saw him treat our kids that way. My kids were both damaged and very much effected by my husband’s behavior. I prayed for years for him to be changed. He threatened my life and to burn down our house in 2020 after not having access to my debit card to go buy more booze. I got a protection order, but he manipulated his way back in by making lots of empty promises that I ate right up. He went back to exactly how he was as soon as he got back in the house. Only now he felt more powerful. His abuse got worse and he would taunt me about how he didn’t get in trouble. I continued praying and pleading for God to deliver me and my precious children. At the end of Jan God opened a door wide open for us to leave and I took my kids and fled. I filed seperation in hopes that he hits rock bottom and has a desire to go get the help he needs to change, but I know if he doesn’t choose that it is not my fault. I know I need to protect the precious gifts God has put in my care.
I have been in an abusive marriage for 30 years. My wife is physically and emotionally abusive. I stayed together for my kids and hoping things would change. It has not. I don’t trust her anymore. She ihas definitely two personalities. The worst usually comes out when she thinks that she made a mistake or looked foolish at work. I am a big guy and I am her punching bag physically and emotionally. I miss that connection with my spouse. Pray for me.
Just a note, I had a Christian friend with children years ago who was in her 3rd abusive marriage weren’t his but he was abusing her and kids. Point is as she was preparing to leave I told her you need to find out why you keep marrying abusive men before you ever marry again ( or maybe never marry again)
Let me say from personal experience with my twin sister being mentally abused by her ex for almost 13 years… While physical abuse is horrible, those bruises go away much quicker than the mental “bruises” do. My sister has needed counseling and therapy. She deals with PTSD and a host of other issues due to the mind control he had on her. God never says divorce is a sin. He hates divorce, it hurts people. It really does. But he never intended a woman to stay and take abuse. We live in a fallen world where sin lives. Unfortunately abusive people is the result of sin. My sister is not lying either. I have personally experienced his abuse several times.